Some people are just born bad and rotten to the core. And then they're unleashed onto society, so we get to deal with them.
Stranger danger and red flags are mantras to commit to memory. We have to beware who we allow into our lives.
Danger and evil are abound. It's good to discuss the times we've crossed paths with dangerous people. It can be a warning for others and a way to release the memory.
Redditortrash_coleswanted to hear about the people some of us have encountered that left an uneasy feeling, by asking:
"Who's the most dangerous person you've met and what did they do?"
Everything you're about to read is really for people 17 and over. Not that people below 17 haven't encountered trash but some of these stories can be a little much.
What a piece of work.
"I've got two. It's hard to choose. Guy I went to high school with. Only about 5foot4 but ripped. Sort of your stereotypical Napoleon complex. Obsessed with his ex-girlfriend. Showed up to her house, drove up onto her lawn with his S2000 as she was walking out the house to go to school."
"Jumped out of the car and beat her to an inch of her life. Broke her jaw and then some. At the current time she was dating my friend's brother and he planned on breaking up with her that afternoon. Went to prison since he was 18. Not sure where he is at now."
"Sister in law's husband. What a piece of work. Steroids for days. Forced sister-in-law down put a gun to her head and told her to pull the trigger when he lost his crap. He calmed down, she grabbed her two kids in tow and went to the neighbors house who called the cops. Cops showed up and did a standoff when they found out he was a bit of a gun nut."
"At one point he came out of the house and told the cops everything is okay and they can go home. He finally gave up. Turned out he had a previous felony in his 20's (started a high speed chase with the cops) so all the guns he had were purchased illegally."
"Sister in law didn't divorce him or press charges, but the ATF took it upon themselves to make an example of him. He did 8 years in prison for felony gun postilion. Just got out during Covid. They are still together and have a third kid on the way. Fun fact he's got 5 other children out in the world." ~ LeKy411
He gave me the creeps.
"One day at work my coworker's boyfriend showed up with her three kids, and she introduced me to him. He gave me the creeps. A couple of years later, he smothered her kids and strangled her to death, during which she gave partial birth." ~ WoolaTheCalot
"I remember when that happened. My sister's childhood friend was one of the people that found them. It really messed her up for very long time." ~ Pretending2beme
Get in the car!
"I had a sort of similar experience once! I was 16 and had gone out for a run, twisted my ankle, and skinned my knee badly. I was limping home and bloodied, so when this guy stopped and offered me a ride, it seemed like just kindness at first. This was around 7-8 am and this guy was dressed professionally in a nice car, at first I thought it was some dude on his way to work who was trying to be helpful."
"But the rule "never get into a stranger's car" has been so thoroughly drilled into me that I politely refused, and that's when it got weird. He started insisting, and changing his jovial tone to an increasingly aggressive and angry tone. I kept refusing. Before long he started angrily saying "Get in the car! Get in the CAR!" and it was clear that I was in a bad situation."
"I'm not sure what changed his mind, but while I was saying "no!" and backing away, he finally paused and looked at me and just said "ok" and hit the gas, speeding away as fast as possible. That was a weird experience." ~ Kubanochoerus
The Strangest Superstitions People Actually Observe | George Takei’s Oh MyyyThe world can be a superstitious place. If you've ever knocked on wood or thrown salt over your shoulder then you've run into one or two throughout your life...
A psychopath like that shouldn't get to taste freedom again.
"I grew up with a guy that always seemed like there was something a little off about him. We were in Boy Scouts together for a couple of years, and I remembered him always getting in trouble for small stuff, like saying things he shouldn't (mostly swearing from what I remember) and going off to do his own thing (he once just walked away one night during a retreat without saying anything and made the troop leaders and parents have to search for them for about an hour)."
"He was also prone to getting into fights at school and cutting class and such. Anyway, he was a couple of years older than me and we weren't close in any way, shape, or form, so I all but forgot about him when I moved away in middle school. I didn't think about him again until my mom showed me his mugshot when I was in high school let me read the news article about him."
"He was living in a house with his pregnant girlfriend and some of her family. There were a good number of people in the house, including several kids, so you could imagine how loud and cramped it must've been in there. Anyway, he said was afraid that there wouldn't be enough space for the baby with all of the other people living there, so one day, he took one of the kids (a toddler, mind you) to the pond out back, tossed him in, and walked away."
"He'd also talked it through with one of his girlfriend's cousins or aunts about it, so it was a premeditated decision (side note: she was also arrested and sentenced). The guy apparently had no remorse for what he did, even considering that the kid was part of his girlfriend's family, because he believed that he had to "make room" for his own kid. He got sentenced to life with no parole, and that's well-deserved. A psychopath like that shouldn't get to taste freedom again." ~ Elegant-Narwhal-506
"My cousin. He has been a violent person since we were kids. He only does the bad stuff when he's high on meth, so there is that. in 1998 he shot up a convenience store trying to kill another cousin. His wife at the time was a dispatcher for the local police department."
"He had physically abused her and they were separated at the time. The story was that he resisted arrest (highly likely), but the local officers who were friends of his wife gave him a long, generous beating before he made it to jail. He got 20 years but served only 8. It should have been longer." ~ donedoneitonce
"I don't recall the man's name, but he was the self appointed leader of a local militia in Maryland. This was back in the late 90's, and he claimed to be gearing up himself and others in preparation of Y2K. At first I thought it was all bluster and hot air, after all the man hung out in a Denny's in the middle of the night."
"One night some friends and I elected to go "ghost hunting" and one of my friends invited this guy along (since my friend also hung out in a Denny's in the middle of the night). We decided to stop at this guys house on the way so that he could be "prepared." When we step through the threshold of the house we are instantly greeted with enough firearms to equip a unit of about fifty men, and there were five people sitting around the house cleaning various rifles."
"A short moment of deliberation and the man settled on a pistol and we went out to a few haunted sites in the Ellicott City area. When we reached the third site, an alleged haunted stretch of train track, we spot flames from a camp fire and hear voices. The majority of us recognize this as people camping by the tracks, and this guy interprets this as a ghost and draws the pistol as though he will somehow kill an ethereal creature."
"If not for my friend I am confident that this guy would have just opened fire on these people, who turned out to be a couple of teenagers, without a second thought. I did not drive that night so I was stuck in the situation, but I never went back to that Denny's and pretty much stopped hanging out with my friend that night as well." ~ Therearenogoodnames9
"My old roommate, S. A tiny little 18 year old girl who was just truly evil. She gave a dog a lick of molly one time just to see what would happen, randomly smashed a glass frame against the wall, took 3 Xanax before driving, etc. Just really reckless and scary crap." ~ meganemk
They were both short, stocky dudes.
"My high school JROTC instructors. The senior instructor served in Vietnam on a LRRP (Long Range Reconnaissance Patrol) team. He survived three tours; read up on the LRRP's for a clearer picture. I know he was wounded at various points, and he claimed to have been able to aim a M-79 grenade launcher by sound."
"He retired as a colonel and decided to teach JROTC just to pass the time. The lower ranking instructor was likewise a Vietnam veteran. Green Beret, MACV-SOG, and a founding member of Delta Force. This man, and I have no reason to doubt him (the senior instructor vouched for him) was a participant in the failed attempt to rescue the American hostages held by Iran in the early 1980's."
"He was also on the team that captured Manuel Norigea in Panama. He was likewise teaching JROTC just for something to do. They were both short, stocky dudes. Very clean cut, polite, and well educated and well spoken. And without a doubt in my mind, extraordinarily dangerous men. I wouldn't have crossed either of them." ~ Mr_Metrazol
A Bad Rub
"I worked in maintenance at a resort with three different properties. This one guy got hired at one of them and would occasionally come to our property when we needed help. Something about him just rubbed me the wrong way. He was quiet but when he spoke it was usually a sharp or harsh comment and his did something with his eyes when he was talking to you that made you feel like he was angry about something. Anyway, he ended up breaking into someone's house and shooting them in the face with a .357 magnum." ~ BaconReceptacle
"The drunk driver the killed my late-S/O. He had zero remorse. He was more upset about getting time for it." ~ Shes_dead_Jim
"The most memorable moment was when I was 7-9 years old, I don't really remember. We were living in Huntington Beach a relatively safe place in So Cal. I was in the front yard playing on our corner lot. We had hedges around our front yard and I was outside of them near the side yard where the backyard fence began."
"I don't recall what I was doing or why I was on the side of the house, but I remember a VW bus going down the end of the cul-de-sac, slowly. For some reason it caught my attention as it looped around the end of the cul-de-sac and I vaguely watched it. My dad, a policeman had instilled onto us situational awareness. I turned my back onto the bus as I heard it speed up."
"I remember turning around and seeing a man half hanging outside the sliding side door. Immediately I ran. I screamed for help, and luckily my mom had just stepped outside to water the plants. Hose in hand, while hearing me scream she shot the hose in my direction."
"I jumped through the hedges as the man leaning out the car door touched my back. He was clearly trying to get me. The water hose threw him off as I tore my way through the bushes. He fell and scrambled back into the car and sped off. To this day I vividly remember the fear, details, and face of that man. Thanks Mom." ~ rchristokes13
The Guy from the Past
"A former friend of mine. He wasn't dangerous at first but he drifted apart from our group and we found out that meth got the best of him. We started seeing him in the news for car theft, robberies, stabbing people, dealing drugs, illegal possession of firearms, and for shooting at cops. His grandfather used to bail him out a lot. I just hope they stopped and kept him behind bars." ~ den1300
The Bad Guy
"My daughter's boyfriend. He almost strangled her to death. The ER said she was seconds away from dying. 😔 He's been in and out of prison over the past 7 years and every time he gets out he hurts another woman and then he's right back in again. I don't know why his sentence isn't longer. Are they waiting for him to actually kill someone? 😠." ~ kre8ive1
The Blind Spot
"I met a hitman once, was a friend of my mum's. She warned me not to approach him from his blind spots cuz he would instinctively lash out. She preceded to get drunk and do just that as a joke, and he slapped her." ~ Dualmilion
Well, this is enough to give me new nightmares. Be careful out there.
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When looking at a resume, it's easy to understand how prospective employers will assume someone is very intelligent based on their education and past experience.
But one shouldn't only assume someone's intelligence based on what they read.
More often than not, one can tell rather quickly that someone possesses above-average intelligence, based on how they speak, how they behave, or other telling details.
Redditor PadWanKenobi was curious to hear what people felt were the tell tale signs they were in the company of a possible genius, leading them to ask:
"What’s a sign of extremely high intelligence?"
"Ability to intuitively and quickly understand complex systems and how lots of parts relate in a coherent whole."
"Like I work with some people who just keep tons of concepts in their head and easily integrate new information into their understanding of those concepts."
"They immediately know what questions they should be asking to better understand."
"And these are things they're currently working on, not like things they spent time studying in school over years."
"They just have a very strong ability to synthesize new information into their understanding."
"I sit in meetings distracted and confused having forgotten what we talked about in the previous meetings, and these folks just consistently have a solid handle on everything."- Ok-Control-787
Innate Problem Solvers
"They know when not to solve a problem."
"This took me a while to understand but the smartest people I know do this."
"It could be a really simple thing like ignoring emails from people asking for help."
"The supervisor or boss might have a quick and easy solution for the situation but instead of just handing it to the person that asked they let them figure it out on their own."
"They know who they can do this with and when to do it."
"If they did that with all of their underlings it would just create a mess."
"Another example that I can think of is planned chaos."
"Some people can predict exactly where things will go wrong and they could fix it before it creates a problem."
"They don't because nobody ever notices what's going on in the background when things are working perfectly."
"Once things fails then everybody notices and if you are the one person that fixed it you become the hero."
"They can also use then chaos to reach a goal they couldn't get before if things were working correctly."
"There's many examples of this in every day life that I didn't see before until I realized what was happening."- atapesGiphy
You know what they say about people with small hands
"If your hand is smaller than your face."- FallofTheKnight
The all knowing glow.
"When someone asks you a question and you push your glasses up while light comes out of it and covers your eyes for some reason."- JonEregor
Those giveaway behavioral quirks
"Wearing glasses and saying things like 'ah yes', and 'I see' while you pensively rub your chin."- iuytrefdgh436yujhe2Thinking Reaction GIF by ABC TV + IVIEWGiphy
"When they explain something they make the people around them feel smarter, not dumber."- redkat85
Being one step ahead.
"The capacity to understand complex things, see patterns where regular people don't."- Ostepop234
"They have this tendency to make you go 'Ohhh, why didn't I think of that?' when listening to them talk."- did_it_forthelulzWhy Didnt I Think Of That Cillian Murphy GIFGiphy
An endless love of learning
"A passion for knowledge and expanding understanding of complex concepts."
"The plumber can be just as insightful as the scholar."- KatatoniK94
Of course, one shouldn't always be fooled by what they see.
As many people are masters at appearing much smarter than they are.
In fact, one important sign of super intelligence is being able to separate those who appear smart, from those who actually are.
With each passing year of a marriage, couples will often discover that while they don't love each other any less than they once did, that spark their relationship used to carry has faded.
This will often lead these couples to look for ways to spice things up a bit.
Among the more popular experiments is inviting a third member to their bedroom.
Enticing as this prospect is, however, it's also easy to be intimidated by the reality of it, or even the mere suggestion of it.
"Men, what advice do you have for men whose wives want to bring a third into the bedroom?"
Make sure you want to do it.
"You need to be completely honest with yourself, ask if this is something you want and could live with."- Dame87
Proceed with caution
"It’s like frolicking in a mine field."
"You both better be SUPER into the idea, you can’t have one person who’s reluctantly agreed to go along with it."
"And established rules."
"A threesome sounds like fun and games until you’re watching your partner make faces and sounds that you only thought were for you in your most intimate moments together, and a burning jealousy comes out of nowhere and breaks your heart."
"I’m not saying it’s automatically a bad idea and I know people do polyamory successfully, but dear god be careful."- coleosis1414
Make sure you're an active participant
"I had an ex that was adamant that she wanted to be a swinger or whatever."
"The one time I decided to roll with it, I hit it off immediately with the other dude's girlfriend and had a blast hanging out with her all night."
"The other dude was a total creep, though."
"Also, my ex could not handle the fact that someone else was giving me the slightest bit of attention."
"So, needless to say, that didn't go anywhere."
"Turns out she didn't want to be a swinger, she just wanted to have sex with other people behind my back, which she had no problems whatsoever with."- Ted_Denslow
Look out for ulterior motives
"Just remember that if you bring this up and your husband is against it, that could be the beginning of the end of your marriage."
"For a lot of people their partner saying 'I am seriously considering having sex with other people and I'm checking with you if it is ok', is a deal breaker."- gamerplays
Consider a test run?
"Go to a bar together separately."
"Watch them flirt/interact with someone else."
"If you get jealous, it's probably a bad idea to bring in a third."
"If it turns you on, go for it."- SinSlayer
Query people with experience.
"It’s something my wife and I have talked about."
"We both agreed that opening the Pandora’s box is not the way we want our relationship to go."
"While it sounds fun, we have seen way to many relationships derailed because of it."- DarthDujo
Consider going whole hog.
"Bring a 4th."- xxemrgmi
Evaluate your relationship first.
"Make sure you and your partner are secure in your own relationship before having another person join."
"Have boundaries, and no secrets."
"From my experience it doesn't usually work out in the end."- Thick-Procedure455
"Don't do it."
"For a long time, my ex harbored a fantasy of watching me have sex with another woman."
"Hey, who knows why any of us are wired the way we are?"
"After contemplating the idea together for a while, we decided to approach one of her more attractive co-workers, who had made a series of flattering comments along the lines of "you're so lucky" and "he's so good-looking'."
"She enthusiastically agreed."
"Our first meet-up was of course awkward, but the second, third and following were pretty good."
"In fact they got progressively hotter, as we all got more comfortable with each other's boundaries, erotic likes and dislikes."
"However, over a few months these occasional kinky weekends transitioned into the co-worker asking more frequently and aggressively to be invited over."
"We tried to explain that we had intended these threesomes to be rare and exotic highlights in our sex life, not regular occurrences, but she didn't take the message to heart and instead became increasingly insistent, bordering on smothering."
"After being turned down one Friday, that night she unexpectedly showed up at our door anyway, carrying a weekend bag and wearing nothing but a raincoat, stay-ups and heels."
"While that was quite a sight, it definitely creeped us out, as it made us finally realize the whole arrangement was descending into 'play Misty for me' territory."
"My ex and I agreed that her unexpected and unwelcome appearance signaled the end of future three-ways, at least until we were able to cool our own selves down, reassess, and perhaps later find a less demanding and insistent third."
"Things subsequently got very sticky at work for my wife, as her co-worker, with whom she had to interact closely, strongly resented being permabanned, and kept demanding to know 'what she'd done that was so awful'."
"Coworker eventually asked to be transferred to another office, but by the time that process was over and done, the discomfort / guilt / pressure / confusion my ex was suffering both at home and at work had begun to take its psychological toll."
"I must confess it didn't help that our own sex life was simultaneously going through a rough patch."
"Long story short, we ended our decade-long relationship less than a year after breaking off the threesomes, chiefly due to trust issues and growing sexual incompatibility, both perhaps triggered by our experimentation."
"Ever since, I've regretted agreeing to that first three-way."
"If I hadn't been so damned eager to take a bite of forbidden fruit, we might have kept our relationship intact."
"But I guess this can also be put down as what sometimes happens when you ignore that old advice, 'don't sh*t where you sleep'."- theartfulcodger
When venturing into the unknown, it's always wise to gain some first hand experience, to hear a variety of pros and cons of what you're possibly getting yourself into.
That way, deciding whether or not it's for you will become increasingly clear.
It's also important to remember, that it is always ok to say "no".
People Share Their Best 'You Either Die The Hero Or Live Long Enough To Become The Villain' Experiences
"You either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain."
Though not necessarily a universal truth, all of us have witnessed unfortunate moments in our lives where we've seen this saying become a reality.
Be it seeing our favorite public figures take a serious fall from grace, someone we know and admire eventually disappointing us in a devastating manner, or even seeing ourselves turn into someone we promised we'd never become.
One Redditor was curious to hear people's examples of this saying coming to light, either from a personal experience or seeing it happen to a well-known, public figure, leading them to ask:
"Who is your example of 'you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain'?"
"He originally stood up for civil rights when it was really unpopular."
"Was hospitalized and accidentally placed in the black ward."
"When the doctors found out, they tried to move him, but he refused."
"Then he became a cult leader and used his power and influence to end the lives of a thousand people."- Crvsby
Earning a position of power
"Working in restaurant kitchens."
"You either burn out young, or become the boss that everyone hates."
"There's exceptions, but that's the rule."- grandpas_old_crow
"Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich Maneuver."
"Made up a bunch of untested uses for it, treating people having asthma attacks, and drowning victims were the two I remember that he publicly talked up."
"Later, he funded an experiment that involved injecting people with Malaria to see if it would treat other conditions.
"The experiment was found to be unethical by American review boards, so he conducted them in Ethiopia." - User Deleted
"In WW1 he led the French to victory at Verdun, one of the worst battles in human history."
"In WW2, after France was beaten, Petain was the head of state of Vichy France."
"Guy went from the Lion of Verdun to the biggest Nazi collaborator in France."- arthuranymoredonuts
"Every organ until it gets cancer."- SuperBaconjam
"He had the whole country behind him here in Ireland at one point bar people who thought combat sport is grotesque."
"He was witty, original, backing himself up and having a Hollywood like rise to stardom."
"Now he's someone who the whole country is ashamed of, goes punching old men, clearly sleeps around on his wife while she's at home with the kids, just a walking caricature of himself."
"He didn't listen to his own advice."
"Get out."- StephenPigot2020
Turning into our parents
"My dad used to annoy me by calling my Pokemon cards 'Pokey-Mans'."
"Now my kids have them and I do the same thing and it annoys the sh*t out of them."
"Thanks for the (Pokeyman) gold!"- rumpel4skinOU
"Almost died during the revolutionary way, if I recall correctly, and if he had he would have been remembered a huge hero, and a martyr."
"Instead he lived and changed sides, and is remembered only for his being a traitor."- uniqueperson22
Be it someone we knew quite intimately, or someone we admired from a far, it is always heartbreaking to see someone evolve from someone we love, to someone we utterly hate.
Sometimes we do things that have to be done.
And some of those things live in life's gray area of right and wrong.
What comes as a surprise to some is when we don't care if we're wrong.
We may still technically be in the right.
But morally and ethically, there may be some issues.
But still, many people don't care.
Redditor BirdyPizzawanted to see who would fess up about some of the worst things we're responsible for but have no shame.
"What is the darkest thing you have ever done and don’t regret?"
I've stolen from department stores that overcharged. I was arrested. I didn't care. So there...
"Five years ago my dad suffered a catastrophic stroke. Left paralyzed and robbed of his speech and ability to communicate he was a shell of the once vibrant, charismatic man he once was. He was moved into skilled nursing where he lived for nearly two years, he was miserable."
"On my last visit I told him it was okay if he wanted to leave us, that we would miss him but he should go. A week later I received the call that he had passed. Instead of immediate grief I felt relief. Relief that he was finally free. The grief came later and I still miss him every single day."
"Got into a car accident and had to stay with my mom for a couple days to figure out what to do. Went back to my apartment (I had two roommates) and everything was missing from my room. Long story short one of my roommates had everything hidden in her room."
"I called and told her the things were missing from my room and she came up with a lie that a couple girls came to look at my room (I was moving out bc of the accident, long story) and that they must have taken my things. She had everything I owned. Including my grandmothers perfume bottles, stuffed to the back of her closet, under her bed, behind her dresser etc."
"So I packed all of my stuff up. Then took a giant black garbage bag and stuffed as much of her closet in it as I could. Took it to the middle of nowhere, dug a hole and burnt it. She called screaming at me that her stuff was missing. I told her the two girls must have come by and taken her stuff too."
"I hit my uncle left right and center when he was trying to choke my father to death. I was 16 years old at that time, a very skinny girl. I beat his face neck and every part of him that I could target with so much intensity that my knuckles turned blue the next day. I had an animalistic rage that day trying to help my father get away from his death grip. I hate my uncle even today."
"I got anger issues because of growing up around him. And I don't regret beating him that day at all. He was physically abusive to his wife as well. One fine day, his wife retaliated by beating him blue with a stick. And he stopped being physically violent towards her post that."
"A neighbor like 10 years ago was neglecting their dog badly in the heat. The dog escaped often and ended up at the shelter a lot. One day she jumped the fence and got her tie-out cable stuck on the fence. (She was not in danger of choking.) Neighbor put her on a 3-foot-long cable tied to a doorknob, no water, 90 degree day. I let some kind folks steal her, watched the whole thing and said nothing to stop them."
"When my father was dying and in pain I was the one who told the doctors he had been through enough and we couldn't see him suffer anymore. Doctor injected him with something, I assume a morphine mega dose and he passed peacefully moments after. Euthanasia may not be legal in UK but compassionate doctors know what's what. I don't regret it because my pa made me promise I would have his back when he got sick or old. I'm sad he got sick and never got to get old."
That is a lot of mess. But sometimes we have to do what we have to do.
"One of my ex best friends in high school was a real narcissistic lunatic. Had so many egotistical fantasies about what he deserved but I remained his friend because we met through my close friend (his girlfriend). As I started realizing what a terrible person he was I convinced him to go after his fantasy of a harem by asking to add a 3rd to their relationship, that led to a fight between his gf."
"I called her about it and asked how she felt about him adding someone to their relationship and about him sleeping with her. She said she knew nothing about that and started crying because he cheated on her. I basically helped orchestrate their breakup and have no regrets. She is happy with her first child now and he is in a toxic af relationship with 3 kids, 2 of which aren't his and his partner is 8 years older than him."
"Had to make the choice to take my dad off of life support after he got Covid this year. He was sedated for a couple of weeks and one of his lungs collapsed and I couldn't watch him fall apart anymore. My dad was a bulky dude. Constantly did a lot of outdoor work and to see him bone skinny and have no muscle left killed me and I knew even if he somehow got through it, he would have been so miserable and depressed in that state he was in. I don’t regret it. I think it was the right thing to do by him. I’ll never not miss him though. That was my buddy."
"Turned a close friend into the fish and game. He would poach mountain lions and bears. His whole family would literally shoot them and leave them. He would brag about it. I couldn’t stand it and felt that I needed to stop him. He’s in prison and so is his uncle. I know I ruined his life but he was literally killing so many mountain lions and bears."
"In middle school, there was this group of boys that would corner me in the hallway and try to scare me. I was the perfect target for these little b**tards. I was short, skinny, and had (and still have) and anxiety disorder. One day I just had enough, and asked a friend if I could have an extra pencil, sharpened it as much as I could, and when I saw one of them in the hallway, I stabbed the hell out of his leg. Sh**head got what he deserved."
Wow... we really are a dark and secretive people.