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Warning: Some sensitive material ahead.

Few things hurt more than finding out that someone you loved very much just died. Getting that phone call is traumatizing, and always seems to come at the most inopportune time. A ringing phone at three in the morning? Hardly a good sign. It's the sort of experience that hardens you.

But there are other instances in life that can be equally devastating or disappointing, as we were so quickly reminded once Redditor Comprehensive_Cash91 asked the online community,

"What's something someone said that absolutely crushed you?"

"I think having that optimism..."

"Was about 30 minutes into my workday when I got a call from my mom. I ignored it but saw she left a voicemail. She normally doesn't call me during work, so I check the VM and she's frantic saying my dad has been in an accident and was taken to a hospital about 15 minutes from where I worked. I immediately start freaking out and I carpool so I didn't even have a car to get to the hospital. Thankfully, a coworker offers to drive me and I meet up with my mom and we're just waiting for any information.

They take us to a room and said the doctor would be with us shortly. At this point, I'm scared but optimistic that he's okay but I should have known better. There was another family that arrived around the same time as us and when they got them they ushered them straight to the room their loved one was. After a few minutes, a doctor comes in and tells us that he's dead and they suspect it was a heart attack but won't know officially until they perform an autopsy. Upon hearing the words that my father was dead my knees just gave out and I immediately started crying like a baby. It's by far the worst thing I've ever heard and I feel it's forever burned into my memory. I think having that optimism while waiting made it even worse. It's been 12 years, but I still cry when writing or thinking about it too much."


"Someone called..."


I was 15, and my best friend (and neighbor for my entire life) had died in a car crash. Someone called and told me, but I laughed at them because I had just been to his house a few hours earlier and he was fine. I told my mom, and she said it was probably nothing so I went on with my day.

Then she came home and there was a knock on the door.

She called me into the room, and the look on her face gave it away. All she could muster was "yeah.." but that was plenty enough to send my world spiraling down around me.

It's been almost 6 years without him, and nothings ever been the same."


The shock of that moment is the kind that reverberates for years. Don't be too hard on yourself for not processing it right away. Sorry for your loss.

"To this day..."

"I was told that when I sang, I sounded like a cat trapped in a metal bucket screeching to get out. I was 7 and I'd just gotten out of the hospital where I'd almost died of double pneumonia and pleurisy. To this day if I think someone can hear me sing, my throat shuts down."


The nerve of whoever said that to a seven-year-old girl. I can somewhat relate, having been out of practice for a long time.

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"I contacted a woman..."

"I contacted a woman I dated when I was 18. She had apparently tried to find me for a long time and gave up. She told me that when we broke up she moved away and found out she was pregnant. She gave birth and raised him with some new man. I never knew she got pregnant. When he was 21 he was at college and got killed in a car wreck.

So in one day, I found out I had a son and that he died and he and I never got the chance to meet. It was so devastating. She sent me pictures and he looked a lot like me. How do you mourn a child you never met and didn't know you had?"


This is the one that got to me. Sorry for your loss. You must be a strong person to share this with us.

"She responded..."

"When I was 19, I told my girlfriend at the time that I spent my whole day playing guitar and writing a whole song. I was fairly proud of myself, as I really struggled with finishing things I started (still do).

She responded by saying something like "Wow that's a waste of a whole day."

Really hurt."


Creating art is never a waste of time. You can be certain of that.

"My mum was very sick..."

"My mum was very sick and was expected to pass away soon at the time. The call I missed at 4 a.m. was that she was about to go and I found out that I missed a final goodbye after talking to my sister when I woke up. This was 16 years ago now."


"Lesson learned."

""I liked the thought of loving you." This was after a 3-year long relationship with someone that I thought loved me. Lesson learned."


Whoever this person was, they were clearly far more immature than you, and that's their loss.

"I found out..."

"I found out my ex was pregnant. After she got an abortion. When I got back from Afghanistan."


"I had a teacher..."

"I had a teacher say "I don't expect much from those who have no future, but I thought you were different.""


"A coworker looked at a picture..."

"A coworker looked at a picture of my running days in college and asked if that was actually me. I knew I had gotten fat, but it didn't sink until that moment how bad I looked in my body at this weight."


Life can sometimes be unpleasant. There are people out there who will hurt us and say the sort of thing that sticks with us for years down the line. There are moments that will frighten us or challenge us, and thereafter shape who we become. The people who support you and push you to do better and be kinder to yourself in spite of hardship? Those are the ones you want to keep around.

Have some stories of your own? Feel free to share them in the comments below.

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