It may have been a while since you've been in school, but we bet if we asked you to tell us about "that one teacher" most of you know EXACTLY who in your life you'd tell us about.
For me, it was a bonkers Latin teacher who was older than dust and had so many anger issues it wasn't even funny.
Buddy creeped on the girls all the time, constantly picked physical fights with the popular boys, and at one point flung a desk and grabbed a student by the throat.
But that wasn't the cingiest. Nay, dear reader. The cringiest thing was the time he commented that he was kind of bummed out that he hadn't fathered an obviously pregnant student's child since "everybody else got a turn."
Someone on Reddit asked:
Whats the cringiest thing a teacher has done at your school?
And it turns out my latin teacher was far from alone in being a creeper, but more importantly that there are about 150 flavors of cringey happening out there, and teachers have mastered them all.
The Hand Dryer
My classroom was next to a girl's bathroom. My teacher would always pause class to go yell at them for using the hand dryers and "disrupting the class", but we knew he was just looking for an excuse to invade their privacy. He would also drop pencils in front of his desk and ask girls to pick them up. He was arrested a couple years later for having porn on his work computer. Not sure where he is now. Hopefully, still in prison.
The Virgin Diaries
Giphy
Co-worker told his class he's still a virgin. He's 45.
We had an older, unmarried religious studies teacher who used it as a point of moral pride that she had remained a virgin. Never thought it was appropriate for teachers to be discussing their sex life and/or lack thereof.
- nella20
I'm not sure if ours actually told people she was a virgin, but we all knew. She was in her 50's (or at least looked like it), extremely Catholic, unmarried and still lived at home with her parents.
- amyeh
The Bossa Nova Jingle
We had a substitute music teacher in 5th grade. I have no idea how she was hired but she had very little patience for children and would use the lesson time to rehearse her own projects on the synthesizer but wouldn't let us participate or make any noise at all. So, we would sit on a large U-shaped sofa and watch her play, bored out of our minds.
One day, two of the rowdier kids (a very, very large girl and a much smaller boy) got into a fight while we were sitting on said sofa. The girl threw the boy off the couch and he fell backwards into a very wobbly shelf that was full of old toys, clown wigs and small musical instruments.
This released a domino effect because -unbeknownst to anyone - the synthesizer cord had been tangled up around one of shelf legs. As the shelf and the kid crashed to the floor, the cord got pulled taut, toppling over everything in its way (music stands, plastic chairs etc).
Then the synthesizer violently crashed to the floor, the taut cord tripping the teacher over in the process, making her land butt first, in a very bizarre cross legged position.
As we watched in horror and disbelief, there was a brief moment of silence where all that could be heard was the bossa nova jingle from the synthesizer.
Just Sing
I had this math teacher, Ms. Greene (not her real name) who loved to sing. Her voice was fine, that wasn't the problem. The cringey things she did as a result of that love of singing, though...
When we were learning the quadratic equation, she had us sing it to Adele's Rolling in the Deep, and for the next couple of months, if someone wanted to use the hall pass, they had to sing the quadratic equation to get it.
Then there were the birthdays. If someone had a birthday (and a friend in that class who was enough of a jackass to inform Ms. Greene of said birthday,) Birthday Person was forced to stand in front of the classroom while the class sang Happy Birthday. But not just regular Happy Birthday, oh no. Ms. Greene would divide us into three groups and have us sing it in cannon, which does not sound good.
The ensuing four minutes were spent with the class looking down at their desks, mumbling Happy Birthday. If Ms. Greene didn't think you were singing loud enough, she would lean down, look into your eyes, and sing loudly at your face. Birthday Person looked on in embarrassment and pity.
- Bao-Babe
William and Harry
My time to shine.
First day of sophomore(?) year. Had PE class. Teacher was one of those skinny, tiny old ladies with an unreasonably high amount of energy. She starts class off with, "Hope we're all having a good day today! Well, except for Diana's children!"
This was the day after Princess Di's death.
Listening To Jesus
I went to Catholic school all my life. My Junior year religion teacher was discussing with us the Catholic teaching on sex. I forget how it came up, but she explained that, when having sex with her husband, she'd turn the portrait of Jesus over their bed to face the wall, but she said she could sometimes hear Jesus saying, "Go (her name) go" like he was cheering for her.
Never
My English teacher in secondary school (high school for you Americans) had her husband also work at our school and on Thursdays we had English after lunch. She always showed up to class on Thursdays like 10-15 minutes late and would always have a new stain on her cardigan (she never washed this cardigan apparently because their were at least nearly a 100 of these stains on it).
Another time she told us her fantasy about having the entire New Zealand rugby team run train on her at the same time.
Final one, she strode into class one day grabbed her boobs and announced "breasts, we all have them, we should all get them checked".
She should have never been allowed to teach.
That Boom Ba-doom-boom Bass
Giphy
We got a new principal at a small, tightly knit charter school. He was a large, middle aged man who really wanted us to accept and like him. Honestly, it was really hard to. He had an authoritarian approach to an unusually democratic school and seemed inherently inauthentic/disingenuous. One day, he decided to tell us that if we reached these high testing scores, he would dance to Super Bass by Nicki Minaj. We did, because we all thought it would be funny, but the man took it way too far.
He dressed up as Nicki Minaj, wig and feather boa, and it was honestly kinda horrific. He got on a table on all fours, started twerking, gyrating, and it was awful. None of the students or teachers could really look at him the same way. A lot of people said it was the day they lost all respect for the man. It was only a month or so into the year. Most people's first impression was that moment and it was kinda scarring to see.
Everyone had their phone out and I'm pretty sure that it still haunts him (even though it was ten years ago) because he hasn't done anything similar since. I don't remember if anyone cheered, but I do remember the shock my friend's face because she had been sitting at the table he climbed onto and was way too close to his buns, hun.
Tough One
Cleaned the sweat out of my 8th grade mustache during an exam using his finger while saying "tough one, no?"
This wins the award. An 8th grade mustache is nauseating. Someone touching it? And empathizing on the flop sweat. Jesus.
Quite The Journey
Probably cringeworthy by today's standards, but back in 1983 it was pretty cool. Psychology class...yeah, we had one. Taught by Mr. Greenwood, who looked a lot like Charles Manson, but would get pissed off if you said that. Otherwise, he was awesome.
One time, he had us all figure out our "mantras" and then made us meditate for the rest of class. He would bring a record player in on Fridays (yes...records...it was the 80s) and you could bring in your favorite album and he'd play it while we all had a free hour of study (homework for other classes or whatever) on the condition that you had to agree with him that "Wheel In The Sky" by Journey was the greatest rock song ever.
Seriously. In order to get your album on the turntable, you had to stand up in front of the class and say "Wheel In The Sky by Journey is the greatest rock song ever."
He also put on a presentation about how people around the world flipped each other off...with visual examples.
Probably the weirdest and most inappropriate thing he did was have us hallucinate. He set up this experiment where we sat staring at a poster on the wall while a strobe light and sitar-like music played, and the music synced up with the strobe and after about 15 minutes the walls started to...um...fluctuate.
He explained what he was going to do the day before, and looked knowingly into the back row of students and said "whatever you do...don't drop acid before class."
I'm sure some parents would have had a problem with all that.
- gogojack
Safety Scissors
My seventh grade geometry teacher used to unzip her knee high patent leather boots and trim her overgrown leg hair with safety scissors in the back of class. I wish I was joking.
Ew.
Date another teach. Not just because she is 25 years his junior or because she was his student when she was in high school, but also because he's still married and with kids.
Middle Schoolers Don't "Go Potty"
Giphy
My Spanish teacher is one of the cringiest teachers I've ever met. She's a good teacher, but she is just so...I can't even describe it.
We were learning about masculine and feminine noun endings, and the day before the lesson, she told us "ok, so get ready for tomorrow, because I am going to teach you how to go potty."
To a group of middle schoolers. To this day, I can't believe she said that.
Serial Home Wrecker
My 12th grade gym teacher was deemed "home wrecker" because she successfully broke up two separate marriages. One was with some guy and the guys son was in my grade and this gym teacher would try to act like a step mom to him while he completely ignored her for obvious reasons. The second was with another gym teacher at the school. She was moving on to her third victim (yet ANOTHER gym teacher) by the time I graduated.
- cswivel
Mr. No Bones
My one math teacher decided to show the class some "real dance moves" this man has been called Mr. NO BONES since.
A Tampon Tantrum
My 8th grade algebra teacher randomly stopped lecturing, walked to her desk, grabbed a tampon out of her desk, and walked out of the room. That's not cringeworthy, and at that point the girls had gotten on to the boys of our grade about making period jokes so none of us even laughed about it we just sat there and started talking while she went about her business.
She gets back in, we all go silent and wait for her to start lecture again, and she just starts going on a rant about how woman have needs and we shouldn't laugh about it. Again, nobody was laughing or even talking about it. This rant went on for the rest of the period, it just went on and on. We had to finish the worksheet she had given us to learn what we needed for the homework for that night... none of us knew what to do because she was venting about her period in front of the class instead of teaching.
Point Made
My white creative writing teacher was reading a rap song a kid had wrote out loud and said everything including the n word multiple times.
He was trying to make a point about how if it is uncomfortable to hear him read it then don't give it to him. He definitely made his point...
Game Time
Not a teacher, but a substitute. Would ignore lesson plans and teach something random. Ended up pulling the fire alarm during a class she had hijacked for games instead of actual lessons because she was up first for charades. Fairly certain she got blacklisted not just from the school district, but the state.
Oasis in the desert? No thank you.
"Dubai."
"Why and whats special about it?"
"Its a modern city in a desert."- Maximum_Calendar_791.
"Dubai."
"A fake city with fake people, no human rights, where the world's tallest buildings hide corruption and slavery in their shadows."
"It's like someone decided to take every problem of mankind and concentrate it in one spot."- PayNoNoticeOfMe.
"Dubai one i think it is ugly two I would die in two minutes of me being there I can't stand anything above 40 c°."- BookWormPerson.
One of the seven wonders is one too many for me.
"The pyramids. "
"Too many horror stories of Egypt."- Aemiom.
Landlocked.
"Not really a destination, but taking a cruise."- Shortbus_Playboy.
cruise ship vacation GIF by Hallmark ChannelGiphyMountains aren't really my thing.
"Everest."
"Just why."
"You use a bunch of money to get in there them come down."
"And trash your whole way there. It's literally a corner in the Earth insufferable for humans and we still made a way to go there to trash it."- ACLullaby.
It's in my own backyard... but still not interested.
"I have lived about 15km away from the Burj Khalifa ever since it was made."
"I could not care any less besides the occasional pointing out the 'shiny tall building' to my nieces.- legolosss.
The pictures are enough for me.
"Mount Rushmore."
"Friends who've made the journey to Mount Rushmore mostly say it was no big deal and not worth the effort or expense to travel there."- Back2Bach.
States Selfie GIF by Ethan BarnowskyGiphyHustle and Bustle? No thanks.
"Anything busy.'
"Whether it's cities, structures, I don't care."
"I'd rather go to a boring empty quiet place than a place full of people."- TheSmeep.
They're watching us.
"That creepy a** place in Japan with all the realistic dolls."
"No thank you."
dolly dearest horror GIF by absurdnoiseGiphySome dream of paying a visit to these places.
Others hope they never have to set foot there, and will choose to leave it to the other millions of tourists.
To each, their own.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
And while a candidate is fit to lead remains to be seen, we rely on our instinct to choose someone with whom we can relate.
But sometimes, our options are limited and we inevitably go with someone who is the lesser of two evils.
Curious to hear from strangers online about a hypothetical, Redditor Cashmeresquid2309 asked:
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for an openly Atheist presidential candidate? Why or why not?"
Redditors were quick to point out the answer was a no-brainer.
We Already Know The Answer
"Asking Reddit if they'd vote for an atheist..."
"I feel like the answer would be obvious."
– sarahmagoo
Sci-Fi Analogy
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for a Star Wars fan who heckin loves doggos?"
– WitnessChemical
For The Atheists In The Crowd
"Atheists of atheistville, would you vote for an open atheist?"
– nixcamic
Others weighed in with a range of opinions.
About 45
"What's funny is how many of them would probably say no, even though they voted for Trump and would do so again. Say whatever else you want about him, but I seriously can't understand how anyone could genuinely believe Trump is a Christian. He's so obviously faking it and is undoubtedly the most atheistic president we've ever had or are likely to have for a long time."
"This is a guy who's never even so much as read the Bible or attended church, who told a conservative radio host his favorite Bible verse was 'an eye for an eye', who told evangelical interviewers that he's never asked God for forgiveness because he's never done anything wrong, and who routinely commits all 7 deadly sins (pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth) without remorse."
– empfindsamkeit
From A Different Perspective
"Not an american but interestingly according to this survey on 1006 people from 2007, being atheist was the worst thing you could be as a candidate (of the things asked) with only 45 % of people saying they'd vote for one."
– ilovecatfish
An atheist candidate isn't necessarily a big strike.
Double Negative
"I wouldn’t not vote for someone just because they were atheist."
– HabitualEnthusiast
Credibility First
"This is it. If they’re running on platforms I support with a history to back up those campaign promises, I don’t care if they belong to the church of the flying spaghetti monster. They could literally be a member of the satanic temple and I, an actual practicing Christian, would give less shi*s than a constipated sloth."
"Edit: yes, I realize the Satanic Temple does not actually worship satan. I used it for that purpose. The Church of Satan has some…problematic views and I probably would not vote for someone who literally holds a platform of eugenics."
– Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Some view the role of religion in politics as important.
It Depends
"Religion can be relevant: I would have strong reservations about voting for a Scientologist, even if I agreed with the policies they proposed. I would have strong reservations voting for a member of an apocalyptic cult or, possibly worse, a follower of the (highly heretical) 'prosperity gospel,' which unfortunately includes more and more so-called 'evangelicals' — I didn't vote for George W. Bush, but it's not because he was an evangelical."
"It depends on the role: I'd probably be more flexible with a legislator than an executive (mayor, governor, president), as their character is IMO more important than for a legislator and their policy stances somewhat less important relative to a legislator."
"Satanic temple — well, that's just an organized group of atheists and humanists with an intentionally inflammatory choice of name. They're generally fine people."
– alyssasaccount
A Bad Rap
"The Satanic Temple is an excellent organization that every decent person should be able to respect. A Church of Satan member, not so much."
"There's a huge difference between them!"
– StarsEatArtBooks
And Redditor boganvegan said it best.
"Better an open atheist than a fake Christian."
It all boils down to trustworthiness. Without full transparency, how could anyone put their faith in a candidate who spews nothing but lies?
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
I'm always freaked out when I'm home alone. Lights on. Yeah, my electric bill is high.
Dorothy?
Wind Conan Obrien GIF by Team CocoGiphy"I dreamed the front door blew open at the exact time the house alarm went off... I hopped up and sure enough, the front door was open. No intruder."
fatowl
I See You
"Not home alone but only one in right side of the house. Went to my mom's bathroom to wash my hands and saw a pair of feet behind the half open door. Laughed and said 'very funny Ma, I see you.' then finished up and left. Bumped into my mother in the kitchen unpacking, nobody else was in the house. I'm glad whatever was behind the door didn't peek out."
SatanWithFur
“It’s Doug!”
"One night I had forgotten to lock my apartment door and woke up in the middle of the night. My bedroom door was about 2 feet from my front door, as you walked into the apartment. First a big dog ran by, then a person. Holy crap I was so scared and I screeched 'Who is it?!?!!'"
"A man said 'It’s Doug!' As I was thinking to myself, who the f**k is Doug, he said 'oh, crap.' He turned around to go back out the front door saying 'Sorry.' I asked 'Didn’t you have a dog with you?' He said 'Oh, yeah. Hey, c’mon!.' He left, his dog ran out after him and I locked my front door."
"Edit: glad you all thought this was funny, because I did too, once my heart quit trying to beat right out of my chest! The next day the girls at work thought I was crazy for not being upset, but eh, done is done. Peace!"
scarletohairy
Confused...
"My sister and I were home alone and we heard someone big running up the stairs. The stairs make lots of noise with slight pressure so when there’s someone big on them you can tell. I went out of my room to check but saw no one anywhere and my sister also came out of her room and she asked if that was me I said no and we both looked around to see if there was anyone but found no one in the whole house. We were confused and called our parents and just waited until they got back and that was that."
JtSudbury04
I See You
Staring I See You GIF by QuikTripGiphy"I very clearly saw a guy walk into my room. But when I went after him there was nobody there. I checked in the closet, under my bed, everywhere one could hide in my room."
HighlyOffensive10
This is why home video surveillance is key.
"NO"
Season 5 No GIF by The OfficeGiphy"My parents were on a road trip, just left, and I sat down at my desk. I thought 'Weekend alone by myself' and a voice yelled into my right ear 'NO' so loud it hurt."
Th4ab
Wild
"I managed to lock myself out of my house on my birthday during a tornado while trying to bring my cats to the basement for safety. I later found out that the tornado was approximately a couple miles or less from me at that exact time. The sky was green and it got weirdly calm and then I could hear what sounded like a train coming before I found an unlocked window to climb through. Wild times."
SilverGnarwhal
Saturday morning in the 80s...
"I wasn't home alone but I was awake by myself one Saturday morning in the 80s when I was around 7 or so. I believe my mom was the only one home because my dad went to the lake to go fishing that weekend, and I'm not sure where my older brothers were, maybe they went with him, idk."
"Anyways, my mom's sleeping in, and I'm in the living room by myself, watching Saturday morning cartoons and making a fort out of sheets and cushions. Something made me turn around and I saw my dad in his pajamas standing in the hallway entrance with his hands on his hips, looking the mess I was making and shaking his head."
"He then turned around and walked into my room, which was just off the hallway entrance. Dude. I didn't even look, I just booked it to my parents room and woke my mom up. I don't remember what happened after that, this was around 35 years ago. And yes, my dad was fine, nothing had happened to him."
smriversong
Get the Bat...
"I was at home by myself on a call with some friends when all of a sudden my dog begins to bark like crazy, which was odd since it was the middle of the night and he's usually sleep. I go downstairs to check on him and find him barking at our hall closet, terrified I grabbed my bat that I keep in my room just in case and open the door. There was nothing out of usual at first at then I look down and notice a familiar looking object at the bottom of the closet."
"It was my mom's necklace she had lost when I was 9, (i'm 15 now just to put in perspective how long it's been). I showed it to my mom at breakfast and she was just as shocked as I was. I still have no clue how it got there or how my dog knew it was in there, definitely one of the oddest occurrences of my life."
SomeRandomIdiot14
Meow
Happy Cat GIF by ChubbiverseGiphy"Many years ago, I was 14 or so, my first night alone in the house when my parents were out. Lying on the living room floor reading, my cat sleeping next to me."
"Suddenly, cat wakes up, stares intently into the dark corner of the room behind me, hair on end, growls and then bolts out of the room and upstairs. I look behind me and see nothing, but follow cat upstairs and hide under the covers. Freaked me out."
LairdofWingHaven
Thank God for alarms. I hate being home alone.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
The body freaks me out. But it's all I've got. So teach me some things.
Minutes...
death GIFGiphy"The fastest killing virus takes around 4 days to kill you. That would be Ebola. Your immune system can kill you in 15 minutes."
will477
'locked-in'
"If your brainstem (the part of the brain that mediates most motor control for all of the body) is damaged, you can get 'locked-in' syndrome. That means you're fully conscious and aware of your surroundings but unable to move or speak. The only muscles that remain unaffected in most people are the muscles that move they eyes and the eyelids."
"You're essentially trapped within your own body with your only way of communication being blinking or moving your eyes It can be caused by toxins, blockage of the basilar artery which is the main artery of the brainstem, or other brainstem damage."
4oodler
Explosions
"Some people suffer from Exploding Head Syndrome, which causes them to hear a loud bang when they wake up."
ToraMix19
"When I was younger I believe I experienced this a few times. Sounds I heard were: about a million people talking and laughing all at once, a train that irl would've been about a foot away from me based on the volume of the sound, and a door slamming loudly."
aliaisacreature
Pain
"Not sure if this is by design, but I totaled my car once, almost completely uninjured somehow. Then I looked down to my right hand which I remember jabbing into my dashboard at 55mph. Luckily (unluckily?) only my pinky took the blow. But instead of a floppy-udder full of bone-sand, my pinky was 0.5 inches long."
"Broke no bones, but instead perfectly stacked my phalanges, or finger bones, INTO my hand. This is fixed by a muscular Russian murse grabbing your pinky with both hands and pulling very hard. God I wish they gave me more lidocaine."
TelevisionOlympics
Functions
animation art GIFGiphy"If you have a surgery where they need to move your organs around they might not function for a day as the body assumes that they are dead."
tonythebutcher13
Move things around? You mean that's not fake when it happens on "Grey's Anatomy?"
Basketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1"The only reason you are not aware of it is because the ambient noise kind of drowns it out because your ears focus on it. If you go to one of those super-silent rooms that absorb all sorts of sounds, it is a really weird way to reacquaint yourself with your body."
Black_Handkerchief
The Mouth
"Idk about the most disturbing but how bad human teeth are. We’d think it’s our sugary and processed diets these days that cause it, but even Otzi the iceman discovered in Italy was found to have terrible teeth, mouth diseases and cavities. It’s odd that even with the most basic of diets our teeth are so bad."
Dorianisconfused
In the bowels...
"I noticed this after my abdominal surgery. When I turned over in bed my guts seemed to fall from one side to the other. Mentioned to my doc and she confirmed it was my bowels rearranging themselves."
squatter_
"Apparently the doctor just throws your intestines back in there higgeldy-piggeldy because there isn't a correct way to pack them neatly."
LostDesigner9
A Quick Burst
"There are a vast number of ways that your body can malfunction and kill you with little or no warning. An aneurysm can go undetected until it bursts and kills you. Getting hit in the chest just the right way can stop your heart. You can encounter an allergen that never previously provoked an immune response that freaks out your body so badly that you die. You literally just never know if your body will just... die."
Unsolicited_Spiders
The body is such a conundrum. Sexy and gross all at once.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.