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People Share Their Most Cringeworthy Memories They Can't Ever Forget

One time, my freshman year of high school, I really wanted to be 1996 cool, so I wore a floor length skirt and heels to school. Except I had never work either before and I'm not even 5 feet tall (so I was maybe 4'7" for this) so "floor length" skirt on me means floor length ... and then some.

I managed to get myself tangled, fall down a ramp, and cause the domino-style collapse of about 40 other kids.


I will have you know no amount of praying will cause the earth to open up and swallow you whole, body and soul, thus erasing your existence from the fabric of the universe. 9th grade me tried. Really, really hard.

So anyway Reddit wants to share some of their great moments in cringe, too. And I'm going to let them. Cause there's no way I'm taking this tumble by myself. I didn't in high school, certainly not about to start now.

Buckle up, homies. Away we go.

Aaaand Scene

Doing a practice for a play in front of a small crowd of like maybe 35 - 50 people when I pooped my pants. Middle of my lines a felt the wetness and had to run off stage. I kept my self locked in a room the rest of the day.

- CheesyKnife

Experience

Went in for an interview for a banquet server position. I had no server experience, but I was imagining standing on the other side of a buffet line scooping food onto people's plates.

First thing this woman asks me to do is carry a tray full of dishes to the other side of the room. I have never done this, at all. But how hard could it be?

So in all my genius, I bend over the top of the tray, grab the sides (including the tray stand underneath) and shuffle to the other side of the room. Technically I did what she asked, but apparently she wanted someone with "experience".

- thame-of-grones

Periodic Surprises

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I was raised Mormon, and they have these temples where you can go do rituals as a proxy for dead people so they can go to heaven (yes, its as weird as it sounds lol). The one teens do involves being baptized for someone who never was, and the Mormons do baptism by immersion (ie, they don't sprinkle water on your head, you're dunked, completely submerged, into a pool of water). You do this while wearing special all-white clothes the temple itself usually provides, including the underwear (which are the same as those weird white underwear garments you may have seen online in those "magic Mormon underwear" memes).

I got my first-ever period while in those white clothes, IN the baptismal font, age 12. 😐

- AfterGayLaughter

Once got my period in the middle of a scene in a junior school play. I was 12/13.

- yeahhhhnoooo

A Little Too Excited

I was 19, working at a small, tightknit smoothie place. We got a new guy, he seemed nice. Not long after he started, he started talking about how his roommate was going to start there soon as well. The first time they worked together, I looked at them and thought, "Oh they are so dating."

They didn't really interact with each other that I noticed, barely even looked at each other. Not long later, I'm working with guy #1, we get to talking about dating and he reveals that him and his roommate are actually partners. I literally started jumping up and down, practically screeching:

"I knew it I knew it I knew it!"

🤮 I remember this every once in a while and hate myself all over again 🙃

- TinkerHeart

Raw Meat

I was interested in a guy but didn't know how to start a conversation with him. We were standing next to each other while preparing food for a barbecue and I just thought it was a good idea to start a conversation with "I like the feeling of touching raw meat"

I guess he thought I was the weirdest person ever because after getting out of that situation he never really talked to me again. Don't worry tho, I'm over it.

- Idhkmg0406

Groping A Penguin

I was walking into an expensive hotel with a friend and I tripped going up the stairs. As I was stumbling, I reached for the handrail. I didn't notice there was someone standing against the railing until I grabbed his ass instead of the handrail.

He turned around and said "Sorry, guess my ass was in the way."

I couldn't look him in the face as I apologized profusely, but noticed he was a really tall guy (I am only 5'0" tall). While checking into the hotel my friend and I noticed there were lots of big guys walking around and commented on it.

Someone then told us that the Pittsburgh Penguins were staying at the hotel that night, and we realized I had groped a professional hockey player. I have no idea which player I groped as I was too humiliated to really look at him as I apologized.

- rma0623

A Real Puzzler

When I was 16 I got set up with a family friend's daughter. We started dating in a long distance relationship. After a month or so it was school holidays and I went up to visit her. I didn't have alot of money but I wanted to buy her a gift. A settled on a beautiful jig saw puzzle.

She wasn't too happy about the gift. Because she was blind. Yes I bought my blind girlfriend a jigsaw puzzle. In the moment it seemed very appropriate because I thought each piece was unique, right? She can feel the pieces right??

Pure effing cringe. Still haunts me.

- BionicGio

"Ghost Version"

One time in like 5th or 6th grade, I was at my friends house playing hide and go seek "ghost" version. Basically it's hide and go seek with all of the lights off so it is dark.

Everyone who was anyone in our tiny town was there. We were the "cool" group. So, I was hiding right behind an open bedroom door. When the "seeker" came into the room I, obviously, couldn't see her. However, I knew she was there and then thought she left the room. So I had the bright idea to slam the door shut by kicking it with all of my awkward-middle-schooler strength. Lo and behold she was still standing in the doorway, super quietly.

That door damn near broke her nose when it hit her with the speed of light. Now, she was always a bit dramatic, but she absolutely LOST it. She yelled and claimed I did it on purpose. I felt absolutely horrible and started sympathy crying instantly. I apologized over and over. Then, she had the AUDACITY to tell everyone I was trying to be the center of attention while apologizing and making sure she was okay by getting ice for her nose and what not.

This is the most cringe worthy experience of my life as I obviously couldn't get mad at her for being mean and making everyone hate me since I had just turned her into a short nosed pug puppy on accident in front of all of our friends.

- CasuallyLookingOn

Racist Mom

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Oh man. Some context, my best friend growing up was black. We were inseparable, we wanted to make video games together when we grew up, all that.

Well, he went with me and my mom to the store. As we were driving, a man nearly ran into her car, and she shouted:

"Fcking ni**er!"

It got quiet in the car, so she turned and said to my best friend in the back "You're not the ni**er I was talking to," as a way to apologize.

I was young, but even then I knew something awful had happened. It completely changed how I looked at my mom and how my best friend looked at my family. We stayed friends, kinda, but I had to hang out at his house since he stopped coming to mine.

Couldn't blame him. Super-cringy, life-changing.

- Tonyadpx

Fired

The time my internet access was shot over a weekend, so I went to work as usual on Monday, and stayed and worked all day; and then when I got home my internet was back and I found out I'd been fired via e-mail the week before .

Small, very high-profile business. This was a very small firm. The owner was famous within the field; think of a celebrity with a staff of 7 people. No HR, no manager, just a small group of people glad to work there. I was there as a freelancer. Everyone was acting weird all day.

I soft-broil myself to sleep in this memory.

- RandomRavenclaw87

50 Yard Dash

Late response but I will remember this until I die. If I ever get dementia this will be the one memory I keep.

So I was on the swim team when I was about 11 or 12 and I had my first swim competition and it was finally my turn and I was super excited. Well the announcer said it was a 50 yard dash and I thought that meant two laps not one. Well when I finally finished the two laps I was still super proud of myself until I realized the entire room was now silent.

Awkward.

- Kayasawyer

Oblivious To The Fart

Farted in class during a test back in middle school. Everybody knew it was me but I was too awkward to confirm or deny it so I just acted oblivious. That fart must've been pretty awful because a bunch of classmates around me covered their noses with their shirts and the teacher cracked open a window. Just the complete awkward silence that followed the fart and the feeling of everybody staring at me in disgust still makes me shudder with cringe whenever I think about it.

- DailyDonuts16

High School Musical

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For non uniform day in my last year of primary school I wore a red and grey striped zip up hoodie, a red corduroy skirt and underneath that blue jeans. I though I looked like hot shit, I had never looked so cool in my entire life until that day.

Then a boy in my class said I looked like someone from High School Musical and I started crying and then the teacher had to give a big impassioned speech about how we all have the right to wear whatever we want and nobody should tease each other because of their appearance. The whole time everyone was looking at me because I was still crying while this was going on.

I had done such a good job of burying that memory!

- emmareyn5000

Kate Todd's Lap

I'm a Canadian and we had this show in the 2000's called Radio Free Roscoe. I was obsessed with this show! I watched it religiously on the Family Channel. My aunt had a friend who was a makeup artist for the show and so she managed to get us on set to meet the cast and visit all the different places. My 11 year old self was ecstatic! It was the most incredible thing to happen to me. My brother and make cousin went with us

We get to the set and it's amazing and everything I had hoped it would be. We got to see them film a scene and see all the behind the scenes stuff, it was incredible. We went to do the meet and greet with the cast and I was so nervous but excited. I'm an awkward girl and super oblivious especially when I'm nervous.

Kate Todd (the female co-star) was being super sweet with me because I was the only girl in our group. She called me over to sit with her for the photos and used her hand to pat the seat beside her.

Being oblivious I missed the seat pat and went and sat directly on her lap. I'm 27 years old now and I still remember her saying "Oh! Um, Okay" in a super surprised voice. I was mortified that I just sat on her damn lap like a baby instead of beside her like she intended. I honestly couldn't look anyone in the eyes again after that. I still cringe to this day thinking about sitting on her damn lap. She was super sweet about it but I knew I had fucked up.

- MarshMamma18

Pajamas

So when I was 8 or so, some of my parents' friends came over, and they brought their son, who was a few years older than me. I used to really idolize that kid for some reason...he just seemed cool and was always friendly toward me. So this particular day I happened to be lounging around in my pajamas watching television and I hadn't expected company. I don't know why, because wearing pajamas (especially as an 8-year-old boy) is not that big of a thing, but I was absolutely mortified when the kid came into the room to say hi.

So I ended up running to the closet nearby and shutting the door. This was right in front of the kid. My parents couldn't get me out. The kid came up and through the door was like, "that's totally fine, bud, there's nothing for you to be embarrassed about, come out and play. If you want you can go change first."

But I wasn't having any of it. I was by this point more embarrassed about my reaction than being "caught" in pajamas, so I couldn't bring myself to come out until the kid and his parents left like two hours later.

- ScientistAsHero

The Ultimate Cringe

In 9th grade, I wrote a radio DJ a really nasty email because he didn't like Limp Bizkit.

- Bells87

The Weirdest Animal Facts People Know

Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked: 'What is the weirdest animal fact you know?'

platypus
Michael Jerrard on Unsplash

People accumulate facts throughout life on a wide variety of subjects.

Some are mundane while others are weird, wild or wonderful.

One subject a lot of people focus on is animals. Most people have a favorite animal that fascinates them that they want to know all about.

Keep reading...Show less

Content Warning: Mental Health, Suicide, Domestic Violence

We all know that we technically can't make anyone else do anything, and we certainly can't "fix" other people. Other people will only change or do something if they choose to; the only person we can really control is ourselves.

But some people really love to try, often to hilarious and terrible results.

Already cringing, Redditor Dapper_Algae6280 asked:

"People who entered a relationship thinking 'I can fix them,' how did that go?"

Time for an Upgrade

"There is a weird thing that happens when you 'fix' someone. They tend to think if you liked them broken, then they deserve better than you now that they are better than they were."

- TheRealLifePotato

"As horrible as it sounds, to have a happy, emotionally healthy relationship you need two happy, emotionally healthy people. If you want to be in that sort of relationship, you need to fix yourself first."

- inactiveuser247

"This right here. After three sh*tty relationships in a row, I realized this is a me problem. I took a few years off from dating to reflect and really learn to see red flags and understand myself so I wouldn't make that mistake again."

- MikoSkyns

No More Spark

"My now ex had PTSD, depression, and a variety of other issues she claimed. After two and a half years of dating (being my first and only relationship), she became more social, less suicidal, and overall happier as a person."

"She decided to cheat on me with someone else due to 'lack of communication' and us 'no longer having a spark". The irony."

"For context, we were 17 at the time, in high school, and I worked full-time hours with initiatives to hang out, which were refused. Red flags everywhere."

- elteragxo

"Your situation is eerily similar to mine, what the f**k?"

"I met a girl with mental and emotional issues and decided to fix them through a healthy relationship. She recovered and found someone else because 'the spark was gone.'"

- Aimlessdrifter8778

Misery Loves Company

"Now we are both broken."

- Brave-Butterscotch76

"The same thing happened to my sister-in-law. She married a very negative and miserable guy while saying 'he will get better' or 'we’re working on it,' and now she’s a very negative and miserable person."

- Moreofyoulessofme

Getting to Watch a Partner Grow

"At first we were only f**king. I don't know if I ever thought I could fix her, but I did fall in love with this beautiful lady with severe anxiety, depression, and trust issues after being in a domestically violent relationship."

"We were f**k buddies for about six months and I got a glimpse of her issues but I still went ahead and asked her to be my girlfriend The heart wants what it wants."

"We dated for a year and a half (two years since meeting), and I actually got to see her at her worst a few times, but I was finally able to get her therapy with a great psychiatrist and treatment, this is when I asked her to move in with me. We've been living together for six years."

"Four years ago, she had the worst breakdown I've seen. She went full-on paranoid, wall-scratching nervous, she was even doubting me and my motives to be there. It was a very difficult week, and she left the house and went to her mom's house in the middle of the night."

"Eventually, her therapist was able to get a hold of her and get her back to her senses. Her doctor then suggested that I also should go to a counselor or at the very least we should do couples therapy so we had strong bases for our relationship and we did."

"I now look back and won't change her for anything in the world, she has grown so much, and she glows right now. I now see her smile and it's glorious. She's achieved a great position too and it's amazing just to see how much happier she looks."

- Spiritual-Narwhal666

Not a Match

"I fixed what I wanted to fix, but that still didn't make us right for each other. In the end, I think she's in a much happier place than she could have been, so I think it was worth the time invested."

"We were wrong for each other, but at least we both came out better positioned to receive the happiness that would come to us later."

- MrWeb20

In Their Nature

"A couple of months into the relationship, I fixed him."

"After some irritation, he stopped peeing on the carpet. Now, my cat still brings mice, but I guess, that's just his nature."

- mobileJay77

The Importance of Boundaries

"I don't know if I would say that I 'fixed' her (and I wasn’t trying to), but I definitely taught my last ex the importance of being able to set boundaries and to stop going out of her way to please people who consistently hurt her."

"Eventually this would lead to us breaking up, but I have no regrets. I have issues of my own that were wearing her down and she did what she had to. Same rules apply. We’re both better off because of it."

- TylerTexas10

Happily Ever After

"She fixed herself and I fixed myself with each other's support, and we are living happily ever after, it seems, with ongoing work on ourselves and our relationship."

- DonPronote

An Uncommon Ending

"I didn’t fix them. But I tried my hardest to be patient and supportive while they fixed themself. Sometimes I was better at support than other times. Sometimes they were better at fixing than other times."

"It ended up being worth the patience. Things have been great with us for years now. I know this isn’t the normal outcome though, and I feel incredibly lucky."

- I_Invented_Frysauce

A Little Help from Our Friends

"Usually I'm the one people try to fix.. I think the repeated attempts definitely helped me. Now my current partner gets to enjoy the previous hard work."

"...I think I just got tired of hurting the people who love me and fixed myself, though."

- addrien

All Their Idea

"You can't fix anyone. You can only fix yourself, but if you really want to try and fix someone, you have to make it seem like it's their idea."

- BuhrZap

A Helping Hand

"I don't think you can fix anyone. You can only help them fix themselves, which is very different."

"If someone is actively trying to fix themselves, and you can actually be the person to support them through it, then it can work, but it could also not work."

"I do think there should be a distinction between the two. I mean, trying to fix someone is a bad idea, but if you like someone and are willing to support them in their journey to fix themselves, it's probably not the worst idea in the world."

- brooksie1131

Lesson Learned

"It went so well that they managed to cure me of the desire to 'fix' anybody."

"I’ll toss you a life preserver if you’re trying to save yourself. But I’m not jumping in the water with anyone so they can drown me on their way out."

"People who need to hit rock bottom in order to better themselves will use you to soften their landing if you let them."

- GlobalPermit5428

Best Friends Forever

"It went well but it didn’t work out."

"So we kind of fixed each other we were both at very weird points in our lives and we only dated for about one and a half years. We didn’t need a romantic partner but we did need a friend in each other."

"We’re both in better places now and the best of friends. We both want each other to be part of our lives just not as lovers."

"All and all, I say we got the best outcomes in our lives."

- CODMAN627

So Worth the Investment

"He was an Uber driver with only a high school diploma."

"I married him anyways and bankrolled his education because he was fun as f**k to be around, was the smartest person I’ve ever met, and loves me like I’m the only woman on Earth."

"Now, he’s a computer engineer and we are landlords together and have bought investment properties. We are very happy together."

"Partners work together to create success. I think selfish people ask, 'what’s in it for me?' Marriage is about selflessness."

"I’m glad I sacrificed for his education. His mind would be wasted otherwise and he’s a genius."

- BabyElephantWalks

In most of these cases, the situation went poorly after a Redditor tried to change someone, and for good reason. If that person isn't ready or doesn't want to be fixed, it's only going to damage the relationship.

There's also something to be said about unconditional love. If you don't want to date the person exactly as who they are right now, why are you even trying to date them?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988.

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

Guy at the gym
Anastase Maragos/Unsplash

Tough guys put on a facade that indicates to others that they always know what's going on.

But their confidence doesn't always match their intellect, which is probably why they cover their insecurities by walking around and trying to show everyone who's really the boss.

If that's the case, they should keep their mouths shut because not everything that comes out of their mouth needs to be heard.

Yet, it can be amusing to everyone else.

Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PrototypeShadowBlitz asked:

"Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the 'alpha male' community?"

You might find these guys at a bar.

The Dude Must Be Hungry

"Had a run in once with a group of young lads about something in a bar and one of them said we are top of the food chain bro and you will be the prey."

– insertitherenow

"'Whatever, mall ninja" -proper response."

– TheEighthLord

If The Shoe Fits

"That they were an alpha male."

– I_Have_A_Name37654

"The use of 'Alpha Male,' unironically is every indication that you're dealing with a child's understanding of manhood."

– 88Dubs

Brat Pack

"Me and my bros are all alpha males."

– SonOfDadOfSam

"I was skiing one time and rode the lift with a guy that said, 'I don't feel no pain. I live with 5 roommates and none of us feel any pain.' Okay, bud. That's a really interesting coincidence."

– NicPizzaLatte

They sure thrive on making sexist comments.

Contagious Femininity

"A coworker said, 'I don't spend too much time with my girlfriend because I'll become too feminine.'"

– Lazy_Natural6154

"FELLAS IS IT GAY?!"

– aliebabadegrote

Sexist Categorization

"I have been called a beta for saying that my wife makes more money than I do. She works in a more lucrative field and is more educated than I am, so it makes perfect sense that she makes more than I do."

"So I came back, and this post has really blown up. There's just a few things I want to clarify."

"1- I have only ever been called a beta online."

"2- I work full-time in project management. I have a master's degree. I have a 6 figure salary."

"3- My wife has a PhD and works in finance. She also has a 6 figure salary, it's just a higher salary than my own."

"4- I'm sorry to anyone who might feel as though my original post misled them."

– ExaminationDouble240

It's Teamwork

"A real man would be proud of his wife for achieving success, and not fall for that sort of insecure bullsh*t."

"It's not a contest, that's the real joke here. Good on you for seeing the big picture."

– Mrbeardoesthethings

Do these roles about parenting sound familiar?

Childish Things Are Too Girly

"Real men don't take their kids trick or treating is one that I heard recently."

– constructionguy89

"Related. Guys who brag about not changing diapers, not playing 'girly' games, etc. Essentially guys who brag that their only contribution to fatherhood is money and masculine things like fishing or football. Even then some of them brag about not paying a lot of child support to prove they didn't let the system take advantage of them."

"I can't imagine a life so empty my only accomplishment worth bragging about was being a terrible parent."

– Green7000

This Woman's Work

"I was told that taking care of my kids is woman's work. Apparently it's concerning that I try to spend so much of my free time with them. Oddly enough the meatheads at my grappling club think it's sweet I occasionally have my daughters' hair clips on and nails painted."

– MrFunktasticc

People discussed rules in the bedroom.

Never Submissive

"That a man is turned off when their wife/girlfriend seduces them, because if she wants sex and shows it she is a sl*t, also making the man the submissive one…"

– kamalaophelia

Stifling Emotions

"Not the whole community, but was cuddling with a guy once and could tell he was trying not to get emotional over something that was bothering him. He said, quite literally, 'it's not alpha male behaviour.' I told him that I liked that he showed emotions sometimes, and he looked disgusted by the fact that I pointed it out."

– LambLifts

In high school, a classmate who was on the football team said I was a "sissy" for listening to classical music.

The other classmates laughed at me, which was hardly surprising since all of the guys on our unbeatable football team were considered stars on campus.

This kind of mockery was a typical day for me.

I can laugh at their idiotic comments now but back then, I don't know why I ever let them get under my skin.

Man standing behind large flowers
Quinn Buffing on Unsplash

We've all done things, or in some cases, regularly do things that others might consider weird.

Even so, we often feel no shame or embarrassment and embrace how unusual these habits are, and take our friends teasing or laughing at us for doing so in stride.

Sometimes, however, we might not like to advertise some of our unusual habits or actions and make every effort to keep them a well-guarded secret.

As raised eyebrows are much easier to take than blatant judgment from friends and peers.

Redditor Key_Nectarine_1969 was curious to hear all the weird things people have done which they still keep under lock and key, leading them to ask:

"What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done that you could only tell people anonymously?"

The Devil [Dogs] Is In The Detail...

"All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand."

"We had to have an assembly about it."

"That person... Was me."- bejeweled_sky

Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

"Was drunk at an escape room with coworkers."

"It was an extreme one where you are handcuffed the entire time."

"I decided in my drunken state that it would be bada** to dislocated my thumb and slip off the cuffs like the movies."

"It wasn't."

"We got kicked out, my coworkers were weirded out and I had to go to the hospital."

"I quit a few weeks later."

"White collar wasn't for me."- Grotesque-penguin

The Bread Of Heaven

"Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them."

"I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time."- hALLIEcinate

catholic the exorcist GIFGiphy

Retracing Steps...

"Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment."

"So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something."

"Always kept about a half block behind."

"He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier."

"It was weird, and so was I."- OKsurewhynotyep

Hygeine Be Damned...

"I found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc I wanted to say goodbye."- qeleia

exercise push up GIFGiphy

Bad Decisions Have A Way Of Getting Back To You...

"We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans."

"Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side."

"I was sitting on the toilet sh*tting bricks of fire."

"At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn."

"The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds."

"The closest receptacle was the bathtub."

"I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep shi*ting in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub."

"Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger."

"I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously."- HoopOnPoop

Things Best Left To Professionals...

"My partner is weirdly prone to cysts."

"I had to drain a 3 inch cyst on her back (thankfully she had a dr's appt the next week), then multiple other little cysts on her legs and chest."

"I never told her to her face but that first giant cyst literally haunted me, the amount of pus and blood I saw....good heavens."- SleepyBiologist

uruguay spot GIF by sargentoPezGiphy

At Least A Lesson Was Learned...

"When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog."

"I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt."

"He ran off and no one saw."

"Still not sorry."- sneezyailurophile

All Creatures Deserve Love

"I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home."

'I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her."

"I wanted a friend."- letthetreeburn

That's What Friends Are For...

"My wife and her best friend pick me up from a frat party black out drunk."

"Then they helped me take a sh*t on the toilet, wiped my a** and then gave me a shower and put me to bed naked."

"Don’t remember any of it."- nc3100

Party Love GIF by Chris CiminoGiphy

Not The Right Kind Of Manure...

"One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my butthole and sprayed some water into it, then farted it out onto the lawn."

"Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose."

"I did this because I was bored."

"My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time)."- WaspsInMyGoatse

A Little Fantasy Now And Then...

"When I was younger I joined an international dating site that I figured was a scam."

"Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through their users."

"And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages."

"Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site."

"Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages."

'Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better."

"I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy."

"And it honestly got me through the day sometimes."- Demonking3343

dating app GIFGiphy

If anyone says they've never done anything they're ashamed, or at the very least less-than-proud of, in all likelihood, they are lying.

Or, more likely, they understandably want to pretend that it never happened.

Which might be a little easier than harboring a secret.