What's that old saying? "Make sure you're always wearing clean underwear in case you're in an accident. What would the medics think."
I'm paraphrasing, but you get it.
That saying can be applied to many aspects of life.
What "surprising" items are hidden in your drawers? Or under you bed?
Or dear Lord... what is on your phone?
We all have ownership over a belonging or six that could cause quite a stir.
Especially if we aren't there to explain it's existence.
Redditor churned_applesauce wanted to hear about all the belongings many of us have that could cause quite a stir.
They asked:
"What is the most controversial thing you own?"
I'm not telling you mine.
I'm not that brave.
But let's see who is...
Pennies...
"I have an old Iraqi bill with Saddam Hussein's face on it. It's worth about 17 cents according to Google." ~ postsingularity
Giphy1937
"My grandfather went to the World Scout Jamboree in the Netherlands in 1937, and while he was there he traded patches and gear with some scouts from Germany. By 1937, the German boy scouts had transitioned into the Hitler youth, so I own a Hitler youth boy scout uniform with a bunch of swastikas on it." ~ iamagainstit
Walrus Parts
"My family owns a petrified walrus penis, my grandmother took it to get it identified at the Smithsonian several decades ago. Apparently her grandfather or maybe it was her great-grandfather brought it home after he spent several years on some type of expedition up around northern Alaska and points north."
"It has been loaned out to several museums at different times. The family has talked about selling it but everyone has to agree and so far there is no agreement about selling it. So I own 1/67th of a petrified walrus penis." ~ Robyn_withaY
Propaganda...
"When I was 18, I bought a print of a 1918 German zoo advertisement from a thrift store. I thought the artwork was neat. It had a leopard on it and I was completely cat-obsessed at the time. Turns out the artwork was by Ludwig Hohlwien. He would go on to produce Nazi propaganda." ~ wolfmoral
Jars
"An ornate, Boer tobacco jar from the 1800s. My great grandfather looted it off a dead militiaman during the Second Boer war." ~ deathtotheminutemen
GiphyInteresting.
Nothing too crazy thus far.
Hey, to each their own.
Shut Tight!
"I have a glass vial/small bottle of pure histamine. If anyone would be exposed to this they would get a deadly allergic reaction. I have it double sealed." ~ TheRealMonreal
GiphyHoliday in Kenya
"A complete ivory and ebony chessboard bought a sale of confiscated poacher stuff to fund elephant preservation. When I lived in Zambia and was on holiday in Kenya. My dad bought it and I got it as a hand me down. We were friends with someone who owned an animal sanctuary and their security had shot the poachers as far as I remember. They had a parentless baby hippo as well. It stole my sister's chewing gum and tried eating their cat. It was moved further away from the main houses after it tipped over their Land Cruiser." ~ xxrumlexx
Oh Grandma...
"I wanted a chinchilla really badly as a kid, but my parents said hell no. One Christmas my grandma got me a teddy bear made out of chinichilla fur. Luckily my parents told me it didn't hurt the chinchilla its just like getting a hair cut for them, but they were like WTF to my grandma. I now know better and am also like WTF grandma." ~ lebrunjemz
Snuffed
"I have a set of small bone carved snuff bottles from China (dated to the 19C) with explicit images on them. They’re kind of curiosities in themselves but when my in laws separated my MIL called my husband and asked him if there was anything in the house that he wanted and he said, nothing but the explicit snuff bottles."
"She took them and left them with a note that said ‘I’ve left you, please don’t contact me again. I’ve taken the snuff bottles; they were the only things in the house I liked.' After their separation we got all sorts of controversial hoardings, including a suitcase full of ivory and an abundant collection of Enid Blytons first edition books." ~ waireti
Luggage
"I have a few Ivory jewelery pieces from the early 70s my parents bought back from Botswana, and a poison arrow kit. Mum has the 3-metre long python skin she just put in her luggage from back then too." ~ Icy_Hippo
GiphyBat Parts
"A first print edition of Batman Damned #1, the one featuring Batman's 'little batman.' (From DC Black Label featuring more adult content. Violence and swearing are totally fine, but a shadowy penis profile made people flip out enough they removed it from subsequent print runs). You guys are some creative freaking people with your Bat-Penis puns. Love it." ~ 1nd1anaCroft
Rude
"I don’t think I have it anymore but back when I was in 9th grade and my brother was a senior we hosted a foreign exchange student from Norway. Without us knowing he had been taking pictures of every overweight/obese American that he saw while he was here for the year. It wasn’t until a year after he went home, on Christmas he sent us a leather bound photo album, like it looked really nice, opened it and boom..."
"Hundreds of photos of people from Walmart and malls. My mom was not too impressed but me and my brother had a good chuckle, not even at the people but just the fact that he took all that time and energy to collect all those photos and then make them into a photo album." ~ Toxicvenom_77
A Museum?
"There is a pharmacy museum in Cuero TX that is absolutely incredible. The building was purpose built in the late 1800's as a pharmacy and used for that for over a hundred years and they managed to hold on to all of their old inventory. They have tons and tons of bottles of heroin, morphine, cocaine, and the like as well as all sorts of quack medicine including one product you gave to your baby if the baby was too ugly." ~ texasrigger
Dumbo?
"Not me, my parents growing up. They had an actual elephant foot turned into a table. Like an actual foot cut from an elephant and taxidermied made into an end table. Had a glass table top. You could feel the thin hairs on it. Freakin' haunted my dreams man." ~ bobsux1234
elephant sneezing GIFGiphyHey Doc
"My grandfather was a doctor until the '60s. I have glass syringes with needles, forceps, a bottle of nembutal tablets, glass vials of pitocin, order forms for buying morphine from the government, and a few other things. Here's a link to a photo of an order form:"
~ BSB8728
They Lived
"Umm mortuary toe tags from an asylum in New York... like twenty or so of them... I think they could be the only things left showing that these people actually lived." ~ ironviking13
"It's sad, but when you think of it, most people who ever lived left no records of themselves. It's more usual to just fade out of existence as people forget you." ~ DumbleForeSkin
Trinkets
"Growing up near a fairly prominent civil war battlefield (manassas), I had a few confederate themed items. slouch cap, small battle flag, and a tie based on an old painting. for me, it was a 'the people who were from the same place as me were on this side' without looking any deeper into it than that. I was a kid, and it was the 80s." ~ bearded_fisch_stix
Jars
"A ceramic jar with 'cocaine' written on it. My father is a contractor and he got it from a client who was descended from a relatively prominent US President. It was headed for the trash, my father didn’t steal it, of course." ~ Apprehensive_Goal811
"It’s probably a pharmaceutical jar for a dentist office from back in the day. Cocaine was commonly used as an anesthetic, and came in ceramic jars like that." ~ Joygernaut
In the middle of Kansas...
"My grandma used to tell a story about a woman in her town whose husband captured one of those enormous red swastika banners. He saw that it was made out of some decent quality silk so he thinks, 'Hey my wife could make some really nice dresses out of this.' So he packs it up and ships it home."
"His wife gets it, carefully washes the whole big-a** thing by hand, and then without thinking, hangs it out of an upstairs window to dry. In the middle of Kansas, in the middle of WWII, this lady is flying a a giant nazi banner. Apparently there were some extremely colorful conversations with the neighbors." ~ MustBeThursday
Catholic Comics
"I have a book of Roman-Catholic–themed comic strips from 1953. All men are lazy drunks, all women are gossips and nags, all boys only fight, and all girls are only supposed to be Mary Sunshine." ~ android-unknown
tim curry no GIFGiphyWho doesn't have cursed or ancient jewels hidden somewhere?
At least nobody on this thread mentioned faces or eyes.
That's what I was waiting for.
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I mostly know disturbing facts about serial killers. As if that isn't enough. This should be fun.
Rest Well
Hand Pain GIF by PetelskiGiphy"The skin mites that live on your cheeks come to the surface at night to find mates and do the deed. Sleep well."
Hullaba-Loo
Cannibals
"If you were to eat another adult human being, it would be approximately 125,822 calories. I went down a rabbit hole on Google and yeah."
ItsmeTrev
"How come it's almost 126K?"
Blablabblue
"Math. Average human is say 70 kg, has 20% bodyfat, so 14kg of fat. Fat has 9kcal per gram, which makes it. 126,000kcal. Math never lies! But I do make plenty of mistakes. Probably it's more complicated - but directionally seems legit."
NekkidApe
Decay
"Within three days of death, the enzymes from your digestive system begin to digest your body."
floopowdertravels
"I guess it’s reassuring to know your body decays before bugs can even get a shot to help your body decay, sort of like a medical death except your body willingly does it for you instead of doctors."
Standard_Zero_3152
People on Earth
season 11 people GIFGiphy"If you are 25 years old, approximately 1/3 of the entire world's population that existed at your birth, have since died."
ColSurge
How do people just stumble upon this sort of info? Y'all must read.
Gotcha
Katy Perry Sharks GIF by VevoGiphy"Some species of shark will 'waddle' onto land in order to catch more prey."
CARMBLOVER
War
"During World War 2, Japan bombed China with fleas infected with the bubonic plague."
XoGossipgoat94
"Man they were just straight attempting to kill as many civilians of possible with that one."
JesseAster
"This is why a large portion of Chinese loathe the Japanese."
dicker_machs
Crush
"It's believed the USS Thresher or USS Scorpion (don't remember which one) took around 20 minutes to go to crush depth in it's free fall."
Jigsaw_isnt_a_puppet
"My Uni mate is a navy submariner and he said that if a problem isn’t your department you just ignore it, because ultimately it either gets fixed or you die, neither of which are scenarios you can do anything about. Him and a friend were playing Fifa in their bunk when the whole sub tipped to 45 degrees. They just kept playing at 45 degrees… it got fixed eventually but they’re reactor crew so nothing they could do to help either way."
FreegardeAndHisSwans
"body farms"
"There are places called 'body farms' were scientists and researchers look at the decomposition process of human remains in different circumstances. Basically a big area somewhere outside were human, sometimes pig corpses are laid out to be exposed to the natural elements or they're even enclosed somewhere (like the trunk of a car). They're actually important e.g. for forensic anthropology to help solve crimes. And you can donate your body for research after you die!"
ThisMessOfMe
Miles Long
art GIFGiphy"Your body makes blood vessels of about 7 miles in length for every pound of fat you gain. This in turn strains your heart as it has to work harder to pump blood through the new network of blood vessels."
macaronsforeveryone
Well there are things I never needed to know. But now we do.
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I just don't have the trust in humans that some of y'all do. How do you get into a stranger's car? Oh no...
Among the Horses
Laughter Wtf GIF by ADWEEKGiphy"So a few years ago I was working in a small resort in the French Alps for the ski season."
"About 15-20 of us all worked in a hotel in one valley, the only bar that stayed open past 11 was in a different valley, it was a pretty flat and straight road to it but a good 15 minute drive or hour walk. We would regularly split up into smaller groups to try and hitchhike cause ain't no one stopping for 15 people with their thumbs out."
"Well one time we couldn't be bothered to split up and we just decided to do the walk and not worry. We decided to chance it anyways and stuck our thumbs at to every car that went by, got a lot of honks, shouts etc, all fun and games until one guy stops with a horse trailer."
"He asks where we're going and we say where and he says hop in. Que 4 of us in his truck, 4 in the bed of the truck and the rest in the horse trailer next to this guys horse."
HAZZ3R1
I'm Innocent
"Got picked up in Queensland Australia and after a few quite pleasant hours the driver started freaking out as we came to a police checkpoint. Turns out my new friend had broken out of jail and had stolen the car. I got stuck at Bowen cop shop until I could prove my innocence."
--bedevil--
"not far!"
"I accidentally picked up a hitchhiker once. I was at a red light at the transition between a village and town road (no more sidewalk, road gets busier and a bit more dangerous to walk). A man walked up to my window from the sidewalk and waved like he was going to tell me something (I assume tell me I had a flat tire or something about my car)."
"I rolled down my window and he mumbled something with a smile, and when I motioned that I couldn't understand him, he just nodded happily, grabbed my door handle and got in my car. Once he was in, it was clear that he spoke little to no English (he was Asian, about 25-30 years old, and very polite)."
"He motioned that he appreciated the ride and I asked how far. He understood and said 'not far!' I told him I was only going home which was a mile down the road and that's as far as I could take him. He nodded politely but I'm not sure he understood."
"I drove the mile down the road, and right in front of my neighborhood was a Blockbuster. He motioned to the Blockbuster and said, 'Here, here!' I asked if he was sure and he nodded, thanked me profusely with gestures and bowing with his hands together. I waved and drove off. To this day I've never seen him again and it remains a strange encounter for sure."
User deleted
zest for adventure...
"I have only ever hitchhiked twice in my life, and both times, a ruinous hike was involved lol. In this story, I was left behind by the shuttle because it took me longer to complete the mountain traverse. I was in the middle of nowhere, it was getting dark quickly, and my phone wasn't working."
"An old couple in their 60s, whom I had been chatting with on and off on the trail, noticed my agitation and asked if I was okay. I told them the bus had left me behind and I had no way of getting back to my lodge, which was 30 kilometres away. They offered me a ride even though it was out of their way."
"We got to talking during the drive. I told them that the hike was a first for me as I wanted to do something memorable for my birthday; they joked that maybe I should stick to dinner and movies next time. As for my good Samaritans, they had been travelling the world to celebrate their recent retirement."
"Prior to doing the trek, they had just completed a cross-country motorcycle trip with their son. I was awestruck by their kindness and generosity, their obvious zest for adventure, and the fact that they were still so, so smitten with each other after all these years."
gagagamgee
"you like hasish?"
Fx Networks Indian GIF by Reservation DogsGiphy"Hitchhiking in Israel with my partner in the 90s. We were picked up by these Palestinian brothers."
"After a bit of chit chat the one in the passenger seat says 'you like hasish?' Pulls out a big joint which we all smoked. He then says 'my brother, he's a cop,' then pulls out his glock and starts waving it around. 'It's all good' he says. We had a good chat, many laughs and after half an hour they dropped us off. We realized we were only about 100 metres further down the road from where we were picked up."
theotherbruce
How have so many of you survived this long? Luck.
In Scotland
Sam Heughan Dancing GIF by Men in Kilts: A Roadtrip with Sam and GrahamGiphy"About six years ago I was hitchhiking in Scotland, heading north to do some wild camping."
"My second ride, I got picked up by a Scottish guy, I could barely understand what he was saying because of the accent. He was heading into Glencoe to climb a hill and camp at the top, so I joined him. Long story short I now live in Scotland, we've been married for 4 years, and I now understand 99% of what he says."
Affectionate-Rub-936
Maine
"My most memorable ride was also my shortest. A guy pulled over in the middle of nowhere Maine. He said our path's would diverge just over the bridge but he'd give us a ride anyway. So we got in for the 100 foot ride. After we got out, he leaned over to the open passenger side window and said in a gravelly voice, 'Life does not give a rat's @ss who lives it.' And he drove off."
valleymountain
The Racoon
"I once picked up a guy wearing a black leather trench coat in 100 degree weather. He was young and friendly, made good conversation, but he absolutely reeked. Finally I couldn't really stand it and was like, 'Man, I'm sorry, but I gotta tell you that you f**king stink.' And he goes, 'Oh haha yeah, it's probably my racoon,' then he opens his jacket and he has a freaking racoon pelt tacked to a piece of cardboard."
maselsy
The Blizzard
"Memorable more for the reason I was hitchhiking. I had driven a few hours away from where I live and payed my last past penny to get training for my desired career. I barely had enough money to attend, and couldn't afford a hotel, so I packed a sleeping bag, and everything I needed to sleep in the back of my van at the training center."
"It was mid spring and was supposed to be pretty warm in the day, and a tad nippy at night, but we ended up having a freak blizzard. The Van was absolutely freezing so I decided to turn it on to keep warm and hope I didn't use too much gas. As it turned out my battery had died in the cold and I had a 2-hour walk, in a blizzard, to get in to town to try and get help."
"By some miracle I spotted a truck about an hour in. The driver had arrived too early to drop off his load, and decided to park on this empty dirt road to rest for the night. He ended up giving me some food, and jumping my car. I managed to stay warm the rest of the night, and get home after the last of the training."
"Definitely one of the scariest moments of my life, because I don't think I would have made it town with all my toes if I'd had to walk another hour."
Vypernorad
This is nice...
Music Video Desert GIF by Red Bull RecordsGiphy"Not a naughty story, sorry... but I got a lift once while hitching during my army days. Hopped into the car, slightly distracted. Noticed wood panelling, leather seats, etc. That bonnet going on for 2km in front of the car. Turned out to be a vintage Rolls-Royce."
Namibbat2
This is why I fly. Y'all are crazy.
And while some bad choices warrant reprimanding, there are other instances where yelling is not really necessary.
Curious to hear examples in which people were berated for inconsequential reasons, Redditor Ratzink asked:
"What is the stupidest thing you've ever been yelled at for?"
Students being disciplined at school is expected. However, there are exceptions.
No Phone Zone
"I was in 8th grade waiting to be picked up from school. I didn't see my mother after awhile, so I got my cell phone out (it was a nokia block phone) and was about to call her to see if she parked somewhere."
"This older woman came over and got in my face. She yelled at me to put my phone away or she would confiscate it, and if I had to make a call, I would have to cross the street and do it."
"A really congested street full of cars with no crosswalk nearby; I would have to leave the pickup zone by myself."
– SarahTheJuneBug
"It was WELL past 3 pm (school was out and I was not breaking any rules) and this hag got pissed by just seeing a block phone that barely did anything beyond calls. I just put my phone away and waited for her to leave."
"Thankfully, Mom showed up not long after that. She was angry when I told her what that lady said. She told me she was a b*tch and that I did nothing wrong, and added that if anyone actually ever confiscated my phone for trying to get in contact with her after school was over that she'd deal with it for me. I also asked a teacher about it the following day; she was just as baffled as I was and agreed I wasn't breaking any rules."
– SarahTheJuneBug
Bitter About The Funeral
"I told my Math teacher I was leaving class in 15 mins to go to a funeral, my friend had just died."
"She said no, and I was like 'thats fine, but I'm still going... its my friends funeral.'"
"And then her face went so red and she shouted in front of the class 'I watched my mother and father die right in front of me, what makes you so special.'"
"I was like woah. The whole class was like woah. The teacher must have been having a bad day but she screamed so loud, and her parents dying was not relevant to me going to a funeral. Was super weird."
– [deleted]
Playing With Food
"I once measured a Fruit by the Foot with a ruler when I was in third grade. Lunch lady accused me of playing with my food and I got in trouble. I genuinely really wanted to just measure it to see if it was actually three feet long."
– TheRealOcsiban
Looking For A Place To Sit
"In 5th grade, I got sent to the principal's office for the first time. I asked the secretary where I could sit and I immediately got scolded, telling me I'm wasting her time for even asking her that question. She even brought the principal over and told me to repeat my question just to further lecture me on how stupid of a question it was and how much it wasted her time. Yea."
– MrJerhomie
People got all in a tizzy with these work-related issues.
The Deal Breaker
"I was dating this girl. She had been looking for jobs for a while with no luck, and I was looking too. My friend offered to pass my resume to their boss for a job in my field after they got one that paid better. I ended up interviewing, then getting the job."
"The first thing that happened after I told the ex was her she yelling at me for getting the job. 'Why did I have to accept a job?' 'Why did you have to take the easy route by getting a job through a friend?' 'Why did you have to apply there?' 'You lied because you didn't want to work with friend.'"
"And no the relationship didn't last much longer after that."
– Responsible_Yak832
Mad Customer
"My absolute favorite: I was working at a bakery, helping out a dude who I could tell was about two seconds away from losing his entire sh*t."
"Nothing due to anything I or the bread were doing; he looked to just be having one of those days and was only barely keeping it contained. After handling the entire interaction like a ticking explosive, I finally ring him out, hand him his stuff, and offer the customer service standard, 'Have a nice day!'"
Which was apparently the thing that sent him over, as he spat out, 'I will NOT!"' spun on his heels, and stomped away like a petulant toddler."
– mus_maximus
People need to be clear about who did what before accusations fly.
Who Hit Who?
"When I was 11, my mother started yelling at me for hitting my 5yo brother. That's understandable, if I had hit him. He had hit me. Literally walked up to me, slapped me in the face, and ran away laughing. Turns out he had run to our mom after fake crying and told her that I hit him. She thought I was lying about it until she realised he had started laughing."
– Hot_Interaction7245
Mistaken For A Menace
"On my local summer swim team when I was maybe 8 years old I had the same first name as some other kid who was a total menace. He’d splash water in girls’ faces and pull on their bathing suits thinking it was flirting, etc."
"One day at practice we’re all hanging out on the edge of the pool and I’m talking to my buddy, and there’s a girl on the other side of me. Suddenly her mom, let’s call her Karen, comes rushing over and says 'HEY! WHAT’S YOUR NAME?' I’m confused and look around me to see if she’s talking to someone else and she says 'YEA YOU!' So I say 'uuuuh… {my name}. Why?'”
"She then grabs my arm yanking me halfway out of the pool and starts yelling at me and I don’t really remember what all she said but it was some mix of 'YOU NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER' (the girl who happened to be next to me) and 'WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS??' all while spitting as she yelled."
"And I was just a terrified, confused kid who’d been assaulted for no reason by this crazy lady and was trying to ask what she was talking about, who her daughter was, what I had apparently accidentally done, but she wouldn’t let me get a word in."
"Finally her daughter got her attention yelling 'Mom… MOM… MOM!!'”
“WHAT!?!”
“That’s the wrong boy…”
"She dropped me pretty quickly and looked super embarrassed but was probably still just red from yelling. She gave me a quick 'oh sorry' and just walked away."
"When I got picked up and my mom asked how practice was I just said 'fine… some crazy lady yelled at me but it was a mistake.' My mom looked confused, took me home, and that was it."
– DunderMifflinPaper
Embarrassingly, I was the idiot who yelled at someone for a stupid reason.
Years ago, I felt water sprinkles periodically hit my face while watching Jurassic Park in a packed movie theater.
I may have imagined it but I thought I heard giggling following every splash of water I felt. I was so convinced some kid had a water gun and was targeting me throughout the movie.
During the climactic T-Rex scene–where the tension is amplified without a score to accompany the encounter–I snapped and filled the silence with my wrath.
"Knock it off!" I yelled behind me, generally addressing the audience.
The kid sitting next to me leaned over and whispered in my ear, "It's the ceiling. It's leaking from the bad AC unit."
As soon as the credits started rolling I bee-lined it out of there before anyone could match the face to the temperamental, but very daft, moviegoer.
