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Waiters Dish About The Most Awkward Dates They've Witnessed

Awkward dates happen to everyone. But it's interesting to be a third party observer, and even more interesting to be in charge of the table upon which the awkward date is happening. And some stories transcend awkward.


u/StittDownAndListen asked:

Waiters and Waitresses of Reddit, what is the most awkward couple date you have ever witnessed at work?

Here were some of those stories.



Cringe

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I work at a dinner theatre, and we usually do proposals where we set up a 'random draw' where the 'winner' comes up on the stage to win their prize, and are then surprised by their partner who proposes. It's usually sweet and makes everybody in the room all fuzzy and warm.

This one guy wanted to take it further and requested to perform a song — he brought his own music and everything. We're pretty easy going at this job, so we agree to let him do it.

We do the fake draw, the woman comes up on stage in front of a room of 400 people, and the music starts to play. Apparently this guy was a little nervous, and he compensated by having a few drinks. So what follows is a slurred performance of a song written by this guy, that seemed to focus on how he was sorry for cheating on this woman with her sister and at the end of it, he gets down on one knee and proposes. Usually this gets a round of applause, encouraging the person to say yes; but not after that train wreck of a performance. The poor woman was just holding her face the entire time and starts shaking her head and says "No, what's wrong with you?" She storms off and leaves him and our stage manager on stage to a bunch of murmuring from the audience. The only thing our stage manager can think of to say on mic is "Well, that's that."

The guy ended up staying for the rest of the show and had many more drinks. That was years ago and it still remains one of the cringiest things I've ever seen.

AgainstBelief

A Charade For Safety's Sake

They came in and the first thing I notice is that the woman was noticeably older than the man but I don't really judge about that kind of thing and I also don't assume people are on dates. maybe she is his aunt? or they are just friends?

So I went to go ask about drinks and do the usual peppy greeting and she is super chatty. Basically talks for him and answers questions that were straight for him. Okay, I think, maybe that's just how they are. She proceeds to order them both hard alcohol straight... at 10 am... I figure "eh maybe they are on a vacation together". You never know.

It finally hit me that something wasn't right was when she wouldn't stop making sexual comments about the two (which is how I knew it was kind of a date). I am talking straight up things like "I am 53 but with the amount of work I have had done to my downstairs, he won't be able to tell tonight if I am actually 23" I am watching the mans face and he looks pained.

I watch the table from afar. I realize it kind of looks like a date gone wrong, but they seemed to know each other so I am not really sure what is going on (and servers always chat and theorize about their customers in their free-time) when the man gets up and comes over to me and asks me to chat with him around the corner really discretely. So I do. He looks as me and is talking super fast as he explains that this is his boss and he has to meet with her quarterly and she just has to sign a single form to approve what he has been doing and she insists on going out for a meal and drinking and then trying to sleep with him. Every time. I was horrified for him -- he looked that panicked. He said that he usually gets her to sign it before they leave the restaurant and then makes an excuse to ditch her. We made a code sign (him patting the back of his head three times) so that I could intervene when she would get far too inappropriate but honestly she didn't change much when I would come. He also asked me to bring him fake alcoholic beverages, said I could charge him for the alcohol but to make them water or just soda.

I still think about him sometimes and wish I had gotten his name or something so I could check in and encourage him to report her, but in all honesty she probably owned the company he worked for or something the way she spent money and looked like.

rufusmaru

Rightfully Cursing

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Late to the party but I will share my story. Had a couple come in one night and everything seemed to be going fine. We just hired a new sever who was training and I asked her if she had any questions. She was still nervous about greeting tables so I told her she could shadow me and watch what I do. We go over to the couples table and all I hear from the new server is "YOU F*CKING BITCH I KNEW YOU WERE CHEATING ON ME"

Turns out the guy was her bf on a date with his side chick and he didn't know she just got a job there. She didn't get fired for what she said.

CigarJpug

Foul Business

When I was bartending this guy came into the bar on a week night, average looking guy, late twenties. He sat down and asked for a drink and told me he was nervous because it was his first date in 3 years and they had met on tinder. He arrived 20 minutes before her expected arrival to get rid of some of his nerves... two hours passed and he waited for her with no text or call explaining she would be late.

This woman walks in, walks up to the guy and I'm thinking, "She really came! " She looks at him and says "Are you Joe?" -- the guy replies yes and gets up to properly greet her looking incredibly excited. She says "no thanks..." and just leaves.

What a foul creature. Joe (not his real name) and I proceeded to get way too drunk for a Tuesday. Poor average Joe.

Corticulture

A Good Tip Can Rectify Most Things

Couple came into the restaurant dressed very goth. I wasn't their server but I was running the cash register just a few feet away. They proclaimed to everyone that they were energy vampires, but not to fear them because they won't hurt us. They said they didn't need our food for sustenance, but enjoyed the taste. After ordering the meal they then politely asked the waitress if she would stick around for a second so they could feed off of her aura so they could have enough energy for the night. The waitress said ok and gave me a side glance over her shoulder that I knew meant "I better get a good tip for this"... The couple clasped each other's hands, closed their eyes, and made sucking sounds for a solid minute before leaning back in the seats and sighing as if they had just had a turkey dinner. The waitress was indeed tipped well for her delicious energy.

hexiron

Public Fights

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Served a deaf couple having a fight. They went from both of them signing furiously to her crying and signaling to me for a stack of napkins for, I assumed, her tears. She whips out a pen and starts writing paragraph after paragraph angrily. It was awkward because i kept having to come back to the table since they ordered multiple courses and he was just eating and signing while she was hunched over the table writing away while crying. When they finally left they tipped me pretty well though so I guess it wasn't too bad?

midgetT-rex

Necessary Shots

Date seemed going well, but the guy was nervous and fidgety. He was rocking back on his chair a little as he would talk and eventually flew too close to the sun. Toppled his chair backwards and knocked himself out cold. And peed his pants.

He had to be taken out of the dining room on a stretcher over the span of 20 minutes, while his Tinder date did the honorable thing and immediately went to the bar and ordered shots.

We gave them to her on the house.

ANPhiK

The Most Despicable Kind Of Man

Was a cocktail waitress at a bar in a high-end restaurant a couple years ago. This couple comes in right around peak hours, guy looks annoyed, girl looks really excited. The whole time the girl is trying to talk to this guy and he's completely ignoring her.

He gets a call and talks on the phone for a good 10 minutes, hangs up and starts talking to anyone around him but her. He's getting more and more drunk and starts hitting on the female bartender and eventually the cocktail waitresses (myself included) telling us he could get us all much better jobs in Atlanta. The girl he's on a date with has started crying at this point and once he actually notices he yells at the bartender because it was obviously restaurant's fault for her being upset.

She yells at him to stop yelling at the bartender because he's been such an awful date and he goes off, tells her he didn't even want to eat here, she should've picked a better place, and he isn't paying for her food and drinks. He then tells her that she didn't look fat in her picture and he wouldn't have asked her out if he'd known she was that big (probably met online kind of thing). She retreats to the bathroom and the guy continues to make a scene. Another girl at the bar and I go to check on her while the bartenders and manager try to deal with him.

The girl is super upset and I tell her there's a back door she can leave through and I can get her tab from the bartender. I go back out and the guy had already stormed out and refused to pay, leaving his date with a nearly $200 check. She didn't have the money to pay so a couple of the bar regulars covered it. Made the whole night super awkward and stressful. Definitely one of the more memorable experiences of that place.

icysunshine

I Made Bank

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One of my first jobs in New York was managing a lounge/cocktail bar in a high end hotel. At around 3 or 4 o clock, a guy that looked pretty cheesy (slicked back hair, bad suit etc.) came up to me and demanded that he get that window table tonight for his date (he had a reservation for 8pm). I explained to him that I can't guarantee it etc etc and he slipped me $400 with the "How about now" look in which I eventually caved in and told him that I'd take care of it.

He then pulled another stack of hundreds and started counting them in front of me while asking if I could go a little extra by coming over to the table when he was there with the date and pretend that I knew him from a movie. At this point, if I've gone this far, why not?

Sure enough he rolled around later in the evening with a blonde bimbo and after they'd had a glass of champagne I approached the tables around them, checked on how they were doing before going over to him and did the whole "How are you enjoying your evening?" And before walking off I did an Oscar worthy double take with a "are.. are you... by any chance..? You must be.." at which point he had this douchy smile lapping up the "recognition" he was getting from this young dude he'd just paid off. Most importantly for him though, it worked - she was loving it - and they left shortly after and he slipped me another $600 on the way out.

nmouchel

A Rock And A Hard Place

Not exactly a date- but I served a couple one time who had met up to discuss the terms of their divorce at the fancy-ish restaurant I worked at at the time. They came before the dinner rush so they were pretty much my only table, and every-time I'd check in on them the wife was extremely angry/tearful and they were bickering about holiday schedules for their daughter/timeshares etc. it wasn't the end of the world but it was extremely awkward to butt in to change out their forks or refill drinks while they were so emotionally charged.

spoooky_spice

The Cringe-y-est Place On Earth

Not something I saw, but a co-worker of mine saw.

I work at a very prominent theme park. You've all heard of it. There's one restaurant that is arguably the most difficult reservation to book on property. People literally call six months in advance to book it.

While dining in this restaurant, a middle aged man stood up, and requested the attention of everyone in the establishment. He then told everyone about how much he loves his wife and family, who are seated beside him.

Then, he announces to the entire restaurant that he is aware his wife has been having an affair, and he is leaving her. Gets up and walks out on his wife and kids.

Sultanofbooyeah

Rock Lobster

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I work at a Red Lobster. One time I was serving a table of two who had clearly met up for a first or second date. Both of them seemed very wealthy, but the gentlemen specifically seemed a little odd.

...long story short, the gentlemen began coughing and went to the restroom for a second to get himself together, but ended up taking around 30 minutes. The lady requested we go in and look for him, so we did. Turns out he had a massive heart attack and we found him dead on the bathroom floor. We didn't quite know how to tell the lady, or even what to do really (besides call the police), but by the time we went to look for her she had taken all of his things and she had left. Not so much awkward as much as just a weird, f*cked up scenario...

Axle49

Ogre Couture

Just last night, I was ordering for my SO because she asked me to since she's never had a burrito before, I got her a small and me a regular. She had to talk through me because she can't understand the local Yorkshire accent, which honestly took me a good year when I first came here. When we paid at the end we needed her ID for the student rate, but when we left the house she'd asked me to carry her purse since it's been falling out her pocket. The server was giving me dirty looks and confirming with my gf for every item, which confused her since she'd already said she was having the same as me.

I explained to her it looks like I am an absolute ogre and the ultimate controlling boyfriend, which she thought was absolutely hilarious. We were laughing about it all night.

RelapseRedditAddict

I Am The Cause

I had a couple with a 1y/o skip out on a $30 bill after being very pleasant all lunch. I worked at a restaurant that punished you for walk-outs, so I ate the cost of their dinner out of my own tips.

They came in maybe two weeks later, and got sat with me, again. They immediately recognized who I was, and I greeted them with a big "welcome back". I stood next to them almost all dinner. Like, right next to them, over their shoulder, glaring. Lucky for me, it was a slow night.

So they had a pretty awkward date, yeah.

psiloryben

Nobody Deserves To Be Stood Up

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So this was a few years ago when I was still in college. I tended bar for some time, and we had this one girl come in and sit down. She ordered a drink and we talked to her and apparently she was waiting on her date to arrive.

Now, it's important to know that it was a very casual place and she was very much so dressed up. She was also......strange. Well, one drink later her date hasn't showed up. Two drinks later same thing. Three drinks later she just goes ahead and orders food. By the time she finished her 4th drink it's obvious that she is getting stood up and is starting to get drunk to cover her problems.

It's worth noting that we did end up trying to keep her spirits up, but she finished her night off with a double long Island iced tea. Don't know what's in that drink? Vodka, rum, gin and tequila......with mixers of course.

She was officially toast at this point and fell asleep at our bar. At one point she stumbled to the bathroom and puked and came back to sleep at the bar.

To be fair, it's our fault that we over served her. But man, it was a hot awkward mess the whole time she kept saying how he must be running behind or something. Slowly watching her get more and more depressed with every drink waiting for him.

I hope she found a good person to be with.

roytown

Irrational Yet Real

I had a young (early 20s) couple come in on what had to have been a first date. You could tell the guy was into her because of the level of eye contact and focus he was putting into listening to her.

So I'm wiping down the table next to them, and she asks him, "have you done anything fun this summer?"

He says, "yeah I just got back from a cruise"

She responds, "Oh I could never go on a cruise I'm too afraid of pirates."

I glance at her to see if maybe it was a joke, but she's dead serious. He's got a confused look on his face but eventually says, "oh yeah I get that."

Junesfoshiz

People Share Their Very Specific Dating Restrictions

Reddit user AceofSpadesYT asked: 'What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?'

silhouette photography of couple
Sean Stratton on Unsplash

When it comes to dating, I have my mental checklist. The guy must be kind, intelligent, funny, and a movie buff. He must be adventurous but also doesn't mind a Netflix and Chill date night.

Most of this is similar to the mental checklists other people have. Of course, I can be flexible. If someone is nice and I'm having fun with them, they don't necessarily have to check all the boxes.

However, I have one specific dating restriction that is a dealbreaker regardless of how many boxes the person checks, and that's religion. I've never been a fan, and now I'm an atheist, and I would want my partner to be as well. That's because I want kids, and the last thing I want is for us to argue about how to raise the kids when it comes to religion.

I'm not the only person who has one specific dating restriction. Everyone has that one thing that is a dealbreaker when it comes to a romantic relationship. Redditors certainly do, and they are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor AceofSpadesYT asked:

"What is your most specific restriction when it comes to dating?"

It's Just A Joke!

"No cruel or rude pranks."

– detective_kiara

"I saw a post by someone whose boyfriend "pranked" her by pretending to be dead on the kitchen floor. That is exactly how she had found her previous partner, dead on the kitchen floor, which her current boyfriend knew. He was surprised she dumped him and didn't think it was funny."

– innocuousspeculation

We're (Not) Gonna Party!

"No party people. Nothing wrong with it, I just ain't dealing with that sh*t."

– PlantBasedStangl

"True. I like planning weekend stuff, but it has to be something meaningful - visiting a different city, movie marathon, mountain hike, fancy lunch, all okay. But... clubbing and drinking? How f**king old are we, 19? No thank you, I'm old and have no energy for listening to music I don't like while being surrounded by 50 people that I don't give a single half of a sh*t about."

– PlantBasedStangl

LOL

"Same sense of humor. I have 0 interest sharing physical space with someone who doesn't laugh with me."

– Legendary_Lamb2020

My Ears Are Bleeding!

"I'm a light sleeper. I cannot date a snorer. I can hear snores through ear plugs AND a fan blowing. It's not you, it's me."

– YourLocalOrca

At that point, it does sound like them 😂

– CuriousRedditor98

Funemployed

"Have a f**king job."

– Cuss-Mustard

"Found this difficult when I was funemployed. Was fortunate enough to be able to live off savings for a bit."

"People reacted oddly to it. “But what do you do???”"

"Was dating at the same time and some girls had the same sentiment. “You don’t have a job?”"

"I had a good enough job that I didn’t need one anymore. And one lined up 8 months from then. But there were two girls specifically who treated it as a deal breaker."

– DigNitty

"I had a similar situation. I worked a high-paying job for a few years that demanded a ton of my time and had crazy hours. It burnt me out badly and I lived off of the savings from that job for a while and tried to date now that I actually had free time. I had more money in my bank account during that time than at any other point in my life but so many people were put off by me being funemployed and assumed I was looking to leech. But I guess there’s really no way to know someone's history and hard not to assume. Now I work full-time and have way less money overall but it looks better..."

– Pinsit

Just Breathe

"No smoking. Ever. I'm not kissing an ashtray, or smelling an ashtray. Instant turn off."

–fishfood19

"100% I broke up with an old gf because she started smoking behind my back knowing I’ve got asthma and it was always a hard pass. She thought I was joking but it showed me that she was also untrustworthy."

– Jonowl89

That'll Do It

"I guess my husband restricts my dating."

– HeinousEncephalon

"My wife has the same rule. But the jokes on her, I get around it by dating her!"

– AuralRapist

Prehistoric Love

"Must like dinosaurs."

– Grungeceratops

"That goes without saying."

– Plain_Chacalaca

What's In A Name?

"Cannot have the same name as any of my relatives."

– Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

"My last ex had the same name as my Dad and I reeeeeeaally didn't like it. So, fair."

– severaltalkingducks

Be Polite

"If they’re rude to people they’ll never see again (Waitstaff, cashiers, etc) I’m out."

"I can’t respect anyone who doesn’t respect themselves, and when you’re not polite to people you’re disrespecting yourself."

– OctopusCandleCompany

God Only Knows

"When I was dating, you had to be an atheist. I don't mess with religion. And I genuinely just don't think atheists + religious people work out."

"And I know... There's going to be someone who comments (assuming there are enough upvotes) who says "I worked out with my spouse who's religious and I'm not!" but you're the exception. When it comes to making decisions long-term, how to spend your money, where you think you'll go after you die, not to mention basic morality (!), and if you have children - that's a huge hurdle."

– Lulu_42

"We worked it out. It's absolutely an exception and not the rule. Don't do it if you can avoid it."

– Alcoraiden

Let's Move Tonight (Literally)

"They need to be ok with cold weather."

"I grew up in the north, live in the south, and I'm tolerating it until I can move back north. If someone says they hate the cold it's an instant turn-off because I don't want to drag someone into a climate they hate."

"The same thing also applies to walkability. I want to move somewhere walkable, and I hope to meet someone with that same goal rather than try to talk them into it."

– ThePresidentCantSwim

"Let me know when you find this mythical northern walkable community."

– Partner-Elijah

My Purr-fect Match

"Cat has to approve."

– Possible-Source-2454

Non-Negotiable

"They need to be male. Kind of important."

– RMHaney

"So weird, I want the complete opposite."

– eightvo

Yeah, the male thing is kind of important for me too!

Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments.

Life is full of shock and surprise.

Apparently, that is part of the fun.

Who hasn't been left stunned by life events?

We always think we're immune to way too many things.

Anything and everything is possible.

It's important to be ready.

Redditor Bob_the_peasant wanted to hear about the things that have left people SHOOK, so they asked:

"What 'That can’t happen to me' thing happened to you?'"

I haven't been left that shocked that often.

I'm always expecting the worst, so I'm prepared.

But you never know.

I'm Dead

Snakes Imacelebau GIF by I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! AustraliaGiphy

"A snake fell out of a tree and bit me on the head."

"ETA: I have always been more scared of snakes than anyone I know, so it’s just so ironic that this happened to me of all people."

amanitachill

Crash Into Me

"A car crashed through my kitchen last year."

aster636

"I woke up to a truck parking in my bathtub 2 weeks before Christmas a few years ago. I watched my sink roll past my bedroom door followed by a hubcap. The driver managed to cross a median, 3-lane road, up an embankment, through an iron fence and between trees. He'd been involved in an altercation nearby and was fleeing the scene."

anjie59k

Hot Air

Swinging Hot Air Balloon GIF by Red BullGiphy

"My family and I were in a hot air balloon crash."

GymDoll2000

"My friend had one crash into her pool when she was a kid."

Environmental-Car481

This is why hot air balloons and skydiving are just a HELL no for me.

Always have. Always will.

Tragic

Cat No GIF by Looney TunesGiphy

"My wife cheated on me with my best friend. They’re moving in together next month. I’m in a new city thousands of miles away. I found out a month ago."

Tssodie

Bad Penguin

"Everyone else’s stories are very sad so here’s something a bit lighter. I’ve mentioned this story before but I got bitten on the neck by a penguin."

"I was at an event where the local zoo had a penguin and owl sitting on tables with handlers so you could take a picture next to them. The penguin went for my glass of wine, I moved the wine, and it bit me on the neck hard enough to bruise. They removed the penguin after that. 😂."

archaeologistbarbie

All Gone

"Our house burned in a wildfire, we lost absolutely everything we owned and only salvaged a single coffee 3 cup."

"On the good side: There was a boy I crushed on all through high school. We went to summer camp together and I adored him. We ended up getting together in our 20s after reconnecting, and have now been together more than 20 years, married almost 17. We’re as madly in love as ever."

toomuchisjustenough

Good Luck

"Homelessness. It came swiftly and out of nowhere. had no savings and the landlord sold the house I was in. couldn’t afford a new place so lived in my car with my dog for a few months. ended up finding community assistance and got into an apartment."

jumbospicyslimjim

"I can’t even imagine being in that situation. Hopefully, this is just the start of things turning around for you. Sending you good energy!"

frappbarqueen

Early Michael Myers

"About 10 years ago, I was stabbed in the arm with a flathead screwdriver. It was a coworker whom I had previously gotten along well with. He had stopped taking benzos and smoking weed a few days before and was on a hair trigger. I said something sarcastic, and he just snapped."

Mr_Spaghetti_Hands

Bad Landing

Bad Day Seagull GIF by Sound FXGiphy

"I was lying on the beach and a seagull flying very high took a poop and it went straight in my mouth."

Competitive_Show6205

This is why I say... "Never trust a seagull!"

They are minions of the devil.

Person cooking in home kitchen
Conscious Design on Unsplash

We've all heard the phrase, "You can't eat at everybody's house," but some of us have a few examples of our own to live by.

From not properly cleaning the environment to questionable hygiene ourselves, there are countless reasons why a person may not want to eat what you've cooked after watching you prepare it.

Bracing themselves, Redditor 195901 asked:

"What is your 'you can't eat at everybody's house' horror story?"

Fly Spray Sandwiches

"I told my dad my sandwich tasted like fly spray at my grandma's house. He didn’t believe me."

"Two days later, I caught my grandma spraying the benches 'clean' with the two-dollar fly spray you find at the cheap store."

"Dad figured it was safe to make sandwiches straight on the countertop because they looked clean. I dragged him over to see and he apologized and took my sister and me for fish and chips for lunch."

- littlehungrygiraffe

Special Seasoning Deviled Eggs

"My crackpot aunt served us a lovely tray of deviled eggs, complete with very old paprika sprinkled on top. So old, in fact, the many weevils mixed in it were dead."

- PhoneboothLynn

A Disturbing Surprise

"I visited a friend's house who was living with his mother, and she asked if I wanted a coffee and I said I would."

"Upon getting to the bottom of the cup and taking the last few gulps, I found there was a used bandaid stuck to the bottom… I never ate or drank there again."

- MrRailton

In Need of Child Protective Services

"I was babysitting a kid in a pretty dirty house. I was told to wake him up, supervise bathing and changing clothes, and feed him. I was welcome to whatever was in the fridge. Okay. The house and his clothes were filthy."

"Then, when I opened the cabinets, floods of roaches poured out. There were roaches in every opened box and container."

"I took him back to my house and returned him later that day. I hope the boy ended up in a better situation. I found out CPS (Child Protective Services) got involved shortly after."

- Alltheprettydresses

Traumatized by Raisins

"I was gonna complain about raisins in the potato salad but the other comments on here are scary. Oh my god."

- tcumber

"When I was a young kid, I stayed over at a friend's place, and his mom made veal or something with godd**n raisins INSIDE the meat somehow. It was so nasty, I never forgot it."

- User2716057

You WISH That Was Vinegar

"My MIL fished around in the green bin (compost bin) with her bare hands, didn't wash them, WIPED her GARBAGE JUICE HANDS on the tea towel, and then WENT BACK TO PREPPING THE SALAD."

"She also got horrifically offended if I didn't want to eat at her house."

- 116843189

Poor Home Hygiene

"My first boyfriend’s parents invited me for Thanksgiving. I came over a few days before Christmas and all the same dirty dishes from Thanksgiving were still in the kitchen. I passed on coming over for Christmas dinner."

- MinimalistHomestead

Every Surface Covered

"I went to a friend's house after school, he was going to teach a group of us to play D&D (Dungeons and Dragons)."

"We got there and his house was disgusting. I'm not the neatest person but the carpet hadn't been vacuumed in forever, clothes were all over the place, and dirty dishes were stacked everywhere."

"I tried to be polite even though the place reeked, but at some point, he was like, 'Who wants snacks!'"

"He picked up a bowl that was crusted with stuff, splashed in some water, wiped it with a towel that clearly hadn't been washed that decade, and poured chips into it. Then he asked if we wanted to stay for dinner. We did not."

- KnittinAndB***hin

O Holy Expiration Dates

"When I was a kid, Christmas Eve was always celebrated at Grandma's. I always got sick afterward. Like, Merry Christmas, you're going to puke now."

"It wasn't until I was all grown up and helping her out in the last weeks of her life that I learned why. She did not believe in expiration dates on anything!"

- SundayMorningTrisha

An Immune System to Remember

"My grandma made me a food phobic from a young age. Whether it was ramen with moths floating on top, or chunky milk in my cereal, it just scarred me for life."

"Dinner at her house was always a fight. Not eating her food was not an option. I'm not sure why that was the hill she would always choose to die on, because she was an amazing grandma other than this."

"Expiration dates aren't a thing. If the cheese was moldy, you cut it off... I think living through the great depression and raising kids in poverty changed her mindset on food."

"I mean obviously, she's doing something right because she's 91. She must have the immunity of a superhero."

- tha_stormin_mormon

Neighborly Love

"I used to help an old neighbor out with grocery shopping, I’d drop the bags at her door and she’d give me a check for the amount of groceries. She’d give me homemade cookies once in a while, chocolate chips."

"I didn’t ever eat them because one time I caught sight of her apartment. It was a large studio, a small kitchen, and tv, and a bed/couch. And there were about 20 cans of cat food, half-eaten, and one million flies and small maggots in different stages of growth, dishes with crusty food stuck to them, and a wall of empty beer cans."

"After I saw that, and got a whiff of her apartment, I started helping her with taking garbage out and putting groceries away, cleaning out her fridge, and making sure her cat was healthy."

"A couple of months later, she got the virus, ended up at a rehab facility, and passed within two weeks."

"Some people need help and a little company…"

- SnooPeripherals6557

No Longer Rice

"A girl I was interested in at the time had cats. I came to her house one day to pick her up for a date and he had a large sack of rice open in her pantry with the pantry door open."

"One of the cats hopped out of the sack of rice and she just casually laughed at it like, 'Oh, they are always getting into things.'"

"I came over the following weekend that SAME sack of rice was in the pantry and I could hear one of them tussling around in it again, we stopped dating sometime after that but anytime she offered to cook for me I immediately pivoted to taking her out to eat instead."

- justad**nfool

"Those cats probably used it as litter."

- Anonymanx

"Yeah, that was my fear."

- justad**nfool

Could Have Warned Her

"My mom told me one about going over to her aunt Virginia's house. She, her parents, and her siblings were sat around the kitchen while her aunt cooked, and my mom could not figure out why no one else was having ANY of this incredibly delicious bread that was on the table."

"She was on her third slice when her aunt stepped out to do something else, and my mom was told by her brother to go look in the flour bin."

"It was absolutely filled with miller moth larvae. Aunt Virginia had been losing her eyesight for years."

- smoothiefruit

"It's f**ked of her parents not to warn her not to eat the bread... like, what the f**k, you KNOW the bread isn't safe, so you're not eating it, but you're fine with letting your daughter have three slices?"

- whydontthissitework

Bad to the Point of Malnutrition

"I graduated high school at 6' 10" tall, but weighing only 120 pounds."

"That's not skinny, that's emaciated."

"The food prepared by my bio-mom was so bad that it wasn't providing me with the nutrients or calories I needed to survive. I went off to college where I had to cook for myself (I wasn't allowed to cook at home because my father insisted that "cooking was women's work")."

"Not only did I discover that food didn't have to be burnt to a crisp, flavorless, or boiled until everything was grey. I also discovered that food can be made to taste good, and using things like salt, or pepper, spices, or various condiments can make it taste amazing."

"The "freshman 15" likely saved my life."

"The thing is, I don't think that my biomom was even aware that her food was that disgusting. Whenever we went out for dinner (which was more often than what my father wanted, but he was the one who insisted on going), she did nothing but complain about how the food was undercooked, 'practically raw,' or 'too spicy,' to eat."

"When she went to other people's houses (including her own extended family) she would criticize them for 'doing it wrong' when she watched them cook anything. She would often end up refusing to eat their food because she 'watched them ruin it,' when they cooked it. We never had guests over to eat her cooking. Ever."

- Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

Clean Hands

"We have a chili contest every year at work around Thanksgiving and I've stopped participating in voting for it because I want to know whose I'm eating before taking any. I work with some great people, but I wouldn't eat at or anything from their house. Strangely enough, the guy I absolutely despise I'll gladly eat his chili because he is clean and well kept and I know his house is."

"I also work with a bunch of people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom in any capacity and we've secretly kept a list so to avoid any potlucks where they take food or to get food before they do."

- SafewordisJohnCandy

We're left with chills after reading these stories.

Where some people might make some mistakes in the kitchen out of just not knowing, like not properly washing rice before cooking it, most of these are just careless mistakes that have disgusting, if not dangerous, results.

Collection of VHS tapes
Bruno Guerrero/Unsplash

What makes us all unique is our passions and the things we love, whether it's singing in the shower, reading books, or listening to specific music artists.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where we are judged for our various tastes and interests thanks to social media, and it makes us consciously selective about sharing the things we love on the internet.

Curious to hear about people's personal desires under anonymity, Redditor sweet_chick283 asked:

"What do you secretly love that you would never admit to in public?"

These aren't really chores for the following Redditors.

Good Clean Fun

"Mopping, im a janitor and generally hate my work... but damn mopping is so good."

– MrDDog06

"When you have a great rhythm going it is something special. I get the same feeling while I vacuum, but won’t let my wife know I enjoy it."

– Bogus_34

Act Of Unwrinkling

"Ironing clothes. A dozen of them. Can’t explain how it relaxes me. I told one person and they looked at me like I’m crazy."

– eerie_white_glow

"My mum misses the days when dad would be out on a Friday night, my brother out with friends and me upstairs quietly playing PS1. She would pour herself a Bacardi & Coke and do the ironing while watching her TV shows."

"I'm sure she doesn't really miss it now that we've moved out and they've retired but it was her wind-down after a busy working week so I can see how people can find it relaxing."

– xdq

Our solo actions can spark joy.

Big Brother Is Watching

"pretending to be on the Truman show and whenever im in my house i act all inconspicuous so they dont know that i know that they’re watching me."

– Bec_121

"C’mon man, you’re not supposed to let him know. You signed a contract when signing up for live views. I’m reporting you."

– doeswaspsmakehoney

The Multi-Tasker

"Playing video games naked at home while eating cheese."

– thickening_agent

Releasing The Kraken

"I love the feeling when you've eaten good fibre and let out a solid long train log in the toilet. That feeling is heavenly."

– therapoootic

"Even better when it’s a clean wipe and not a poo crayon."

– TheWarmestHugz

Ultimate Comfort

"My (male 41) weekend routine is coming home from work, make hot chocolate, start a fire, dress in a ugly pink nightgown made for old ladies and watch forensic files."

– crazyloomis

Some people are obsessed with collecting things.

So Kawai

"Sanrio stationery stores. All those different multicolor pens, a thousand kinds of erasers, spiral bound notebooks galore... my kids sadly have absolutely no appreciation for this wonderland..."

– HavingNotAttained

It's A Staple

"Office supplies have a weird, special place in my heart ever since I was a kid. They don't even have to be 'cute' necessarily."

"Japan's legendary stationery stores is unironically a reason I want to go."

– _CozyLavender_

Not Caring Anymore

"The older I get the shorter that list gets. Not because I love less things, but because I don't care about hiding it."

– Bi-Beast

"YES!! I'm 53 now. I'm working my first job in public since 2006. Today is Halloween and we're allowed to dress up so I am sitting here waiting to go to work dressed as a VERY bad Wednesday Addams. My bf said I'd 'look stupid' because no one else will probably dress up and I'm like, 'WHO CARES!' My makeup looks horrible and not like I practiced, but I DO NOT CARE! I'm having fun with it anyhow and I don't care if my coworkers dress up or not. I'm bein' ME! :)"

– deanie1970

Honorable mentions start here.

The Savior

"Picking up worms from the street and sidewalks when it rains and moving them into the dirt so they don’t burn in the sun, every time it rains I do this."

– sky_kitten89

Hero Of The Moment

"Yoooo I scoot SO many snails and worms. I work as a tech/mechanic at an automotive shop, I had a peoject car towed to my house the other day and it was covered in snails. I saw them when the tow guy/coworker was unloading and I was like, 'oh! It comes with free snails!' and began moving them. He laughed then realized and said, '... Oh, you're serious. Uh... Okay.'"

"I don't care who knows it. These little things barely can look out for themselves, why shouldn't we if we can take a moment to help? I don't care what happens next, it probably doesn't matter overall but I can help this moment."

– chris14020

Why should some of the hidden desires mentioned above have to be secret?

Redditors opening up about some of these would make them a hit at parties–no shaming.

As a matter of fact, I'll totally be down for a Forensic Files viewing party where we all make hot chocolate, light the fireplace, and cozy up together in our respective pink ugly nightgowns for old ladies.