I once had a house guest who insisted on showing my husband her nipples. Yeah... betcha didn't see that opener coming did you?
We call it "The Nipcident" - and it was a week long invasion by the most nipple-obsessed human being I have ever met in my life. She and I became friends kind of by osmosis. We shared no common interests, but she was dating one of my employees and we worked from my home, so she hung out a lot.
Nipple girl was a friend who was supposed to be "just hanging out" one night. It got late, we told her to crash on the couch. Somehow she understood that to mean she lived there now.
Some time around day 4 she decided we were family now and "family doesn't have secrets."
Days 4 and 5 were spent with her casually mentioning how nice it was that we were a body positive household. She had seen that we didn't scold our (very) young daughter for not wanting to wear pants. Days 4 and 5 were also spent casually mentioning how interesting and unique her nipples were and just how shocked our employee was the first time he had seen them.
Day 6 she set up a backdrop and some lighting gear in our living room ("Didn't I mention I'm a photographer?") and proceeded to do a topless photo shoot of herself. It wasn't sexual, definitely a more artsy vibe and the pictures were actually gorgeous ... but a little heads up would have been nice, ya know?
After the shoot she just never put her shirt back on and kept walking back and forth through the house mentioning her inverted nipples. Everyone sort of nodded along pretending to be interested - except my husband. That lead to her literally standing in front of the TV topless trying to get his attention, him standing up and sliiiiiiding her to the side and then sitting back down - and her huffing, stomping, and walking away complaining that he was being rude by not wanting to look.
She left in a huff and complained to our employee about how unwelcoming we were. Employee shrugged it off. Apparently this wasn't the first time "the nipple thing" had been an issue.
Yeah... she wasn't invited back
Reddit user Kenygarry asked:
So yeah... lots of people have their own personal "nipcidents" - and as annoying as mine was, it was nothing compared to some of these. At least she didn't poo on my couch and refuse to clean it up. Yup. It's in here.
My best friend wouldn't f*cking leave. When I asked her what her going home plans were after six days, she said "I don't plan my life that way."
We are 30.
My late partner was very sick with leukemia. After over a year of being his 24/7 caregiver I got the opportunity to go abroad for a work trip. My partner insisted I go because I deserved a break from caregiving and that his deadbeat brother would fill in as caregiver while I was gone.
While his brother was staying with in our home, he brought his cat which is a no no for someone who living with zero immune system, did the ABSOLUTE minimum to take care of my partner and left him basically to figure out Meds/food on his own. And the final blow was he stole the big piggy bank that we were using to save for his bucket list vacation before he died. Then denied he did it.
It makes my blood boil thinking about it.
One of my mother's friends is not only a raging alcoholic but is also on ridiculous amount of prescription drugs. One night she was staying with my parents and fell asleep in a leather recliner because of aforementioned alcohol and drugs.
At some point in the middle of the night she sh!t herself, again because of the aforementioned alcohol and drugs, and instead of being a good guest and decent human being and being embarrassed by it and doing her damndest to clean it up, she threw the blanket she was sleeping under over her mess and then went upstairs to sleep in one of the beds. Then she just told my mother about it in the morning and then left.
My mother used bleach and every cleaner under the sun to clean up the mess, and she did, but she ended up just throwing the chair out because how could you ever really look at it the same way again.
The most shocking detail in this story is that my mother is still friends with this lady.
We Didn't Start The Fire ... But The Kid Did.Giphy
A kid whose parents didn't supervise him. He was probably 8 or 9 at the time and would get into ANYTHING - especially stuff computer related. He would dig through drawers and open boxes looking for gadgets to play with. Only to mess them up or lose something.
We finally told the parents they couldn't bring him back when he got into the kitchen and turned on the glass top stove while a pizza box was on it. Started a small, quickly extinguished fire and the house smelled like smoke for about a week.
Had a friend ask to spend a few weeks, 3 weeks to be precise, at my parents house where I also live. A year and a half later we finally kicked him out. Didn't pay rent or buy groceries and he brought his dog with him that after 8 months of living with us, killed my cat. I have to stop now because typing this is making me very angry. He also never bought dog food for HIS dog and my mom ended buying almost all of it. Now he wonders why we don't hang out.
I was at work all day and I always close my door before leaving, ALWAYS. My mum had guests over and decided "hey, let's show the guests everyone's rooms and all the rooms in the house in general." Well, one lady, whom I had never met, didn't like how I arranged MY room, so while everyone was at dinner (I work from 11:30 am to about 9 pm, 6 days a week, so I wasn't there when this happened), she went into my room and rearranged my desk, the clothes in my drawers and closet, all my pictures, and threw out some knick knacks that were given to me by old friends but she thought were 'trash' I 'hadn't thrown out yet'.
I. Was. PISSED.
She totally admitted it, but didn't seem to feel bad at all. My mum was upset too, but not as much as me. They're no longer friends but I'm not sure why, probably because she threw out some of my mum's knick knacks as well.
I don't have many rules for passengers when I'm driving but there are two I will never budge on.
1: Wear your seat belt.
2: Do not smoke in my car.
I had just bought a car, it wasn't brand new but I knew the previous (and only) owner and I knew he was a car guy who took meticulous care of his cars inside and out. He wouldn't even sell me the car before he had given the engine a proper service. Within a week of getting the car a friend asked for a lift to the train station, I knew he smoked so as we walked to the car I told him specifically to wait until we get to the station before he lights up (a 10 minute ride at most).
I back out of the parking spot, drive to the exit of the parking lot and as I check my left hand side for oncoming cars I hear from my right the distinctive sound of a lighter sparking up. Dude could not even wait until we were out of the f*cking car park before he just had to have his goddamn cigarette. I ask him what the hell he thinks he's doing and he just looks at me and says "Relax, it's not like it's a new car." He ended up walking to the train station.
There Are Bathrooms For That
I had a guest that would walk around the house while she was brushing her teeth which was no big deal. The problem was when she was done she'd use the nearest sink to spit and rinse her mouth out which was often the kitchen sink that had dishes soaking in it.
And she clipped her toenails at the dinner table.
Late Realtor here. But you wouldn't imagine how many people come to your open house from 2-4 on a Saturday and take a massive, violent, vile, disgusting sh!t in the bathroom of another person's home and then leave. No turning on of fan. No thank you. Just make the house smell like a sewer for the rest of the day.
After being told not to smoke in the house, my wife's uncle had a few drinks and passed out in the bed in our guest room with a lit cigarette in his hand. My wife and were downstairs, smelled the smoke, and ran up to find that the mattress was on fire...so, my wife dragged her uncle off the bed, I grabbed the fish tank in the room, and dumped it's contents on the bed to put out the fire.
Thankfully, though the mattress was destroyed and we had to buy a new mattress and bed linens...the only casualties were the fish in the tank.
As well, we were also lucky enough that the floor in that room had no carpet so clean up wasn't too bad. After the incident was over / fire was out, my wife's uncle was actually upset that we told him he had to sleep on the couch (since he had destroyed the bed) and my wife took his cigarettes and keys (so he couldn't go buy more) away from him and said she'd give them back when he got up the next morning. He has not stayed with us since.
Asked for a "tour." Homie we're in the kitchen, you can see the bathroom where I cry, that room with the couch is where I live, the room with the bed is where I eat my meals and spend my days. End of tour.
Just For The Weekend
We have a "friend" in his mid 40s. Dude is a sht show, cannot get his life together, has pissed away so many great jobs for stupid reasons, and is a womanizer and misogynist. Mostly only called "friend" because we've all known each other since we were teens. But we all grew up, he didn't.
Anyway, about 3 years ago, he showed up after having moved away a while wanting to crash "for the weekend" to catch up with old friends. So we said ok, no big deal. That weekend turned into 6 months. He ate our food, used my kids toiletries, expected us to buy dog food for his dog, put his nasty muddy clothes in my washer, sprayed on enough cologne to choke an army, borrowed my husband's car and left it on empty multiple times, stacked his dirty shit all over my house, used my kids' phones to call random people, gave out my number to reach him, and basically just completely took advantage. I am way too nice and hubs is even nicer. We put up with his shit til I flipped the b!tch switch and told him to go.
But wait, is not over. About a year later, he's right back in his same sh!t hole situation. Begs my husband to let him just stay "the weekend" again. Hubs being the nice guy here is, brings him here. This time I lost it on him after about 2 months.
But wait, there's more! About 2 weeks ago, he shows up with some gal we've never met wanting us to let them BOTH stay here. Ummm, no. I don't know her, I have kids to worry about, and I have earned my shit and don't want to take a chance on getting it stolen in the night. Go on down the road, I know how this story ends and I'm not willing to play along any more. I'm sure he's told everyone we know how mean I am but I don't even care.
I had a friend who would always punch me on the shoulder. Every time we saw each other; punch on the shoulder. At school. At parties. Meeting up with friends. Punch on the shoulder. Nothing wrong with it except he hit really hard. Like it really hurt to the point where I would try to avoid him.
And while I could've just told him to stop, I was a really quiet guy. So one day he shows up at my house party. He does it again. Punch on the shoulder. So I do it back but lightly.
Guess what he does. He comes back with an even harder punch to my shoulder. So I throw one back hard. Then he does it again but this time at my face. I take it, but then I jump on him and start pounding until people pull us apart.
Kicked his butt out and never saw him again. No one felt bad for him though. Turns out he did it to everybody else too.
Even his ex girlfriend who still hanged out with us said she would leave their dates with bruises and that why she dumped him.
A Snail ProblemGiphy
My cousin visited and stayed with us for two weeks. During this time we kept finding these snail trails on the walls, the banister by the stairs, the arms of our couches, etc. My mom even called an exterminator to help get rid of this snail or slug problem we suddenly had. Turns out it was my cousin blowing her nose on her hands and smearing it on any surface that was close by.
Ordered food delivery without asking me. I dont know why but it offended the shit out of me at the time. Like, the doorbell just rings and I have no idea who it is, and my friend who was visiting me pays the Uber Eats guy for some takeout. I thought it was totally rude, but I guess we were just raised in different homes.
Pissed on the floor and did not cleaned it up afterwards. Repeatedly. It became so routine that I eventually began calling people out about it when it happened, and narrowed it down to two people. Now if it happens I berate them in front of everyone else in our house.
If you're going to suggest I am being harsh, we're all in our 30's now. If you're so disrespectful that you can't even clean up your own piss you leave in someone else's house, you're the a$$hole. Not me.
When I was in college, my dorm roommate's dad came by. He lived fairly close, so he was in the dorm pretty regularly. I was not in the dorm at that moment on this particular occasion. While I was gone, he cleaned and organized my entire side of the room.
Including my underwear and stuff.
I got back really late that night and kept the lights dim as I got into bed because my roommate was already asleep. I rolled out of bed just before I had to leave for my first class the next morning, and I ended up late because I couldn't find any of my shit. None of it was where it was supposed to be.
There is so much to learn in life.
And once you acquire certain things mentally, you regret it.
How much 411 have you come across over time that made you think... "How can I unlearn that?"
Yeah, not possible.
Knowledge is power and sometimes it's a nightmare.
Don't we have enough to keep us up at night?
Well let's do some learning.
Redditor RedBoyFromNewy wanted to shed some light on creepy issues we need to be discussing. They asked:
"What’s a disturbing fact that not a lot of people know of?"
So who is ready to spill, and where do you find the info?
From the GutsBasketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1Giphy
"Without mucus your stomach would digest itself."
"The reason you body produces more saliva before vomiting is your bodies way if protecting your mouth from the acidity of the vomit before you actually throw up."
"There are more suicides than homicides in the US every year."
"60% of all gun deaths in fact are suicides. It is estimated that someone offs themselves with a firearm every 20 minutes in the US. And 80% of them are males."
"And what's worse (knowing, as my family just went through this.)... 70% of suicides have no note. It's a common misconception that most people leave a note and it just isn't true. Mainly because a lot of people who write notes realize they don't want to go through with it. Those who are 'successful' just do it."
"You can give still 'birth' if you die while pregnant. The decomp process will force the baby out. It’s rare but it does happen."
"This is usually what ends up happening when a pregnant woman gets murdered. They usually find the fetus either completely separate (like in the Lacy and Connor Peterson case) or in the same location as the mother, but clearly birthed (like with the case with Shanann Watts). It's something I never knew happened until very recently and I think it's one of the most horrifying aspects of death."
"The deadliest ship disaster was the MV Wilhelm Gustloff, a ship built during the Nazi Regime. In January 1945, she was evacuating 10,000 German citizens ahead of the soviet Invasion when (albeit ironically) a Soviet Submarine spotted them, and fired three torpedoes. The ship was on the freezing cold Baltic Sea, and the davits (ropes) for the lifeboats had frozen over."
"Not only that, but the ship was only meant to carry 2,000 people normally. These two factors, coupled with the harsh angle the ship was sinking at, meant only half of the lifeboats could be deployed. 9,400 people drowned to death that night, and nobody knows about it."
I See YouKung Fu Wtf GIF by A24Giphy
"Your eyes have a separate immune system than the rest of your body, and if your normal immune system ever learns about your eyes, it will target them and you'll go blind."
Oh my eye. How do we protect them? As if I don't have enough stress.
LaunchedStanley Cup Nhl GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
"Penguins can launch their poop out of their butts like 5-6m far."
"Cotard's delusion, also known as walking corpse syndrome, is a neuropsychiatric disorder in which the person is in eternal damnation. They literally believe they are dead or dying [or don't have organs], the amount of despair is unimaginable and simply can't be grasped by people not suffering from it."
"It may seem like we know a lot about the human brain, but our standard way of studying brain activity is an fMRI, where a single pixel contains over 3 million neurons. That is more than many vertebrate animals' entire brains. The truth is, we really have no idea how the brain gives rise to consciousness."
"Edit: Even if we somehow perfectly worked out all the neural correlates of consciousness so we could say a mental state happens if and only if some exact pattern of brain activity happens, we would still have the 'hard problem' of consciousness: Why do these physical processes give rise to raw subjective experience, rather than just happening 'in the dark?'"
"If your esophagus closes and you cannot swallow, you have about 2 minutes before saliva starts reaching your windpipe. It is not a long time, but it is long enough to panic..."
"I have Eosiniphillic Oesophagitis and have had food stuck in the oesophagus for up to 24 hours before. And it’s horrible. You don’t realise how much saliva you swallow, to be constantly choking and vomiting that back up isn’t the best experience!"
Get LuckyPrayer GIFGiphy
"You’ve probably been closer to dying multiple times in your life then you even know. Just got lucky, or unlucky depending on who you are."
Well that's enough to disrupt sleep for life. Thanks y'all.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
The best stories are ones with exciting plot twists.
But the next best type of stories are the ones that continue spiraling out of control.
Curious to hear examples of this, Redditor _Mitnix_ asked:
"What's your best 'oh you thought this was bad, it gets worse' story?"
It's story time. You may want to buckle up.
It All Started With A Cat
"This is a long one, but I promise it's worth it:"
"A buddy of mine was cat-sitting for a friend of his while the guy was out of town on a vacation. My buddy didn't have a car, so the dude told him that if he needed to go out and pick up more cat food or anything, he could borrow the car."
"At the time, my buddy was living right down the street from this guy, staying at his parents' house. So my buddy was just going over for a few hours each day to feed the cat and keep it company, then going back home."
"Meanwhile, he's also been flirting with this woman online. She lives several states away, but he feels like they seem to be getting pretty serious. So he decides to take some liberties, really push the envelope on where he'll pick up cat food from, and he takes his friend's car on a little multi-state road trip."
"This is insane, right? Just atrociously bad judgement, especially since someone does need to feed the cat. To solve this, he left his parents a note. It read, 'I am camping in the woods behind our house. Please go over to ____'s and feed his cat. I'll let you know when I'm home.'"
"Boom. Problem solved, right?"
"Except that the 'woods behind our house' are about 20 yards deep. It takes less than five minutes to walk through them and come out into the neighboring housing development. So his parents went looking for him, calling out for him, and couldn't find him. They got worried and contacted a family friend, a local police officer. He subsequently got a hold of the fire department. There was a full-on search party combing through about 1/50th of an acre of woods. Unsurprisingly, they were coming up with nothing."
"This was before cell phones were common, so my buddy was completely unaware that his plan had fallen apart. He was cruising along on his 12-hour drive, expecting to get to this girl's house just in time for dinner. Except he didn't have a GPS. So he got lost. Very lost. Like, by the time he turned up at this woman's house, it was almost midnight."
"When he got there, she was crying her eyes out. He assured her that it was okay, he was fine, wasn't hurt or in a wreck or anything, he'd just gotten lost. And she said, 'No, no, I wasn't worried about you. My dad just died in a motorcycle accident.'"
"So he bailed on his cat-sitting duties, stole a car, and inspired his parents to file a missing-persons just so he could awkwardly watch a woman cry for a few hours and then drive back home."
The Beekeeper's Nightmare
"I will try to keep it short. I am a beekeeper. My 3rd year of beekeeping, I suddenly developed a severe allergy to bee stings. It was spring and I was installing bees for the beginning of the season. I was up to the last hive, went to install that package of bees and one stung me right in the top of my head."
"I finished up a few minutes after and went up toward the house to do some other things. I started feeling flush and I could feel my heart racing. After I few minutes I realized I was having an anaphylactic reaction."
"If you’ve never had one, aside from the physical symptoms, they also say you will get a feeling of impending doom. That was spot on. I absolutely felt I was going to die and people do die from these reactions."
"So I am now in the house and desperately searching for Benadryl of which I have none. I am also having trouble breathing, my body is going haywire and I feel like I’m going to black out shortly."
"I call my mom, who lives an hour away, to call 911 because I feel like I will be unconscious soon. She says okay, phone rings 30 seconds later. It’s my mom, she goes 'I called 911 but they said you have to call'. This was my first wtf."
"So I call and it’s a very typical 911 call she is trying to keep me talking and I essentially started vomiting and she is still on the line and I am waiting and waiting for this alleged ambulance."
"A full half hour goes by. At this point I am actually coming out of the reaction. So I go to sit at my kitchen counter. I’m still on the line with the 911 dispatcher. I see the ambulance pull up and I say, oh they’re here. She’s like great, are you okay? I’m like yes and then she says goodbye and hangs up."
"I see the EMTs outside but my driveway has a gate so they are just standing there and they ring the bell on my gate and I am just looking at them, dumbfounded. Like I called for an emergency over a half hour ago, and they’re gonna roll up here and ring my bell and wait for me to come out when I more than likely could be unconscious or dead on the floor."
"I literally had to go out and let them in. Then they basically talked me in to going to the hospital to get checked out. Another huge mistake because this took place in the 2 months in my entire life when I didn’t have health insurance. So I ended up paying $4000 for a late ambulance and some IV Benadryl and epinephrine."
"Oh which also reminds me, a paramedic also showed, put the IV in when I agreed to go to the hospital. Then I felt something dripping and turns out he put it in my artery rather than a vein and it was just pushing the fluid out of the IV."
"0/10 would not go through any of that again…but I did 10 years later when I had another anaphylactic reaction due to a bee sting. However this went a lot smoother and I had epi-pens and a responsive ambulance."
"Arrive home from work, my house reeks of oil."
"Go in the basement, and there's a pool of oil, with my stuff floating in it. The oil filter on my burner rotted out (it was defective and recalled, but the tech never bothered to notify me or replace it). Call up the tech, he throws a new one, charges me the emergency call fee, and advises I call HO insurance before running away (it was his fault, I didn't know it yet)."
"This was February in NY, about 13F out, and obviously the burner wasn't on while sitting in a pool of oil. But, they get there pretty quickly soak it up, and get things running so my pipes don't freeze."
"Only way to get the smell out is to dry clean everything I own, then shampoo all the carpets, run deodorizers, etc. Takes weeks. Had a headache the whole time."
"Turns out, my basement has cracks, most of it leaked through. They had to cut out my foundation and dig out the contaminated soil."
"Oil in soil means DEC gets involved. Whole new can of worms as they now had to monitor the process, test at every step. Big enough deal I have a spill number in their database."
"A 20 yard dumpster, with 20 yards of oil soaked sand, is so heavy that it broke through my driveway, destroying it. They did that twice, took out my entire driveway."
"Remember how I said this was in February? March brought the COVID shutdown."
"I spent over a year with my basement in shambles, holes in my driveway, plastic sheets taped up, no washer/dryer, and all sorts of equipment kicking around."
"The next spring, they're back and working, and screwed everything up. Not going to get into every detail, but after a big fight, I managed to get rid of them and bring in a new company to fix their screwups and finish the job. Old crew got very difficult when the new crew requested permits and reports. Turns out, they never bothered. Had to do all that before they could start working again."
"New company dropped a storage crate on my yard to store my stuff while working, destroyed my grass, took out a sprinkler, took out my neighbor's driveway curb, got concrete all over my brickwork, but at least the nightmare was finally over."
These Redditors have been dealt with some major blows.
People who say that things will always get better, are partially right. Things do come around, eventually.
But you never know how many curve balls life has to throw at you until there's a resolution.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Life is full of disappointments. We lose out on a job opportunity or the one designer article of clothing we really wanted is not available in our size.
But we go on.
But the biggest letdowns are the ones we never see coming but must contend with.
Redditor Frequent-Pilot5243 asked:
"What is a depressing truth you have made peace with?"
No matter how much you prize a friendship, not all of them are for forever.
Here Today, Gone Tomorrow
"A friendship you thought would last forever can end in an instant."
The Best Mate Who Quit
"My best mate of 20 years, said that he didn’t want to be my best man and just said he didn’t want to be my friend any more. Hurt like hell."
It's Okay To Let Go
"Sometimes people you care deeply about will choose to drop out of your life and all you can really do is have the grace to let them."
"edit. to everyone struggling with being left behind, and to everyone struggling with having to be the one to leave- I hope the pain eases for you soon."
Restarting The Process
"I have a really hard time with this one. Every friendship I've had in my adult life has only lasted a couple years tops. Rarely a falling out or anything, but just drifting apart or sh*t happens type deal. It's hard for me to make friends in the first place because I'm pretty shy, so having to regularly restart that process is really discouraging. Right now I don't really have any friends because I've just kinda given up trying."
The harsh reality of losing the people we love hits home for these Redditors.
"My grandpa just wanted to get to know me and the man I was becoming during his last year of life. Which I was too young and too selfish to realize."
"Yeah, this hits home. I spent 90% of my childhood with my grandparents. I was at their house almost everyday. When I got into my teens and obviously found friends, discovered women, all that stuff and then I just stopped seeing them. They’re both gone now and they died with the memories of me as a child. Although they seen me sometimes while I was older, they didn’t know me because I didn’t give them the chance."
"My dad passed away 6 weeks ago and I will NEVER see, hear, chat or get to hug him ever again & that forever is a long time."
These sobering facts were huge disappointments.
Truth About CPR
"This is coming from a firefighter:"
"If you have to perform CPR on them, it's most likely over for the patient."
"I'm not sure if I've made peace with it completely, but I've accepted it at least."
The After Effects
"I've taken CPR training twice in the past 10 years. The instructors were so completely different... The second one flat out told us 'you're giving them about a 15% chance of living, and even if they live, they will probably have some kind of severe trauma that will dramatically decrease their quality of life.' Wow..."
Despite Having Good Intentions...
"No one is coming to help."
That Train Has Left The Station
"I'm aging nonstop."
Innocence Is Gone
"My childhood is gone, and I have no good memory from that phase of my life."
No matter what, life goes on with or without us.
The best that any of us can do while we're passengers on this giant spaceship is to take life as it comes and pick up the pieces the best we can when things don't pan out as we'd hoped.
Sometimes, it's about celebrating the small victories–like finally finding a store that has your shoe size.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
The truth matters.
Something one would think was a given in modern society.
Yet all over the world, there are people so unbelievably stubborn, that they simply refuse to believe the facts.
Sometimes even when presented with evidence.
This could be for something menial, such as refusing to believe that a cotton candy was actually invented by a dentist.
But sometimes, refusing to believe the truth could have serious consequences, up to and including climate change, the effectiveness of masks, and the disproportionate amount of gun violence in the US.
Redditor Lady_Of_The_Water was curious about the many things, both frivolous and serious, people refused to believe were true, leading them to ask:
"Whats something someone thought you were wrong about and ridiculed you for it, but it turns out you were right?"
What's that smell?
"That there really was a gas leak in the apartment building."
"Thankfully, the fire didn't cause much damage."- yamsnavas2.
There's a reason the bill is so high.
"Our water usage at work went up a lot."
"They checked all the toilets, sinks for leaks, couldn't find anything."
"I mentioned that it seemed to coincide with the new water cooler system installation, maybe that should be checked."
"They basically laughed at me."
"That stupid water system never worked good and the guy came in 3 different times and said it was just the filter."
"Every month it needs changed???"
"Didn't seem right."
"Finally a different technician came in and result was it was never installed correctly."
"I asked, 'could that have anything to do with the increased water usage that started when this got installed?'"
" He smiled 'I wondered if anyone caught that, yes the valve was not correct and water has been running'."
"For 5 months!!"
"If only they had listened."
"Total redemption!"- McTee967.Nbc Jump GIF by SuperstoreGiphy
Have you ever looked at a map?
"I had a coworker doubling down repeatedly, claiming that new Zealand is north of Australia."
"I even told her about how I had lived there and she just assumed I was such a huge idiot that I didn't know where on the globe I was living."
"Brought the smartphone out and put an end to that."
"Let me just say, it's ok to not know where all the countries are."
"The problem is if you heavily assert you are right and others are stupid."- PlopPlopPlopsy.
Is it supposed to hurt this much?
"My husband told me that I was a 'baby' about my IUD insertion and insisted that it wasn't painful."
"That my concerns about entrusting a stranger to shove a foreign object into my body were paranoid."
"I listened to him because really, the info you'd find online is overwhelmingly positive."
"Long story short: the provider placed it wrong, didn't check/fix it when I asked her to."
"I spent 4 years in pain that I eventually 'got used to."
"It expelled half way out my cervix, had to get it yanked out at the ER."
"That's when I was told that copper IUDs are notorious for breaking inside the uterus."
"Because it broke inside me."
"The cherry on top?"
"The female gyno with three kids I saw to get the broken piece removed told me that 'cervixes don't really feel pain' and that I didn't really need to remove it."
"Goes without saying, I was in severe pain for 2 weeks straight before this appointment."
"Tons of women came out with their stories about lawsuits over IUDs, how they got pregnant with an IUD."
" Stories similar to mine."
"And how women should really be offered anesthesia or pain pills for this procedure."
"And when my husband was surprised to learn about the pain I endured I reminded him 'You called me a baby and everyone else told me it was all in my head'."
"Which is why I didn't talk about it."- PopK0rnAndMMs.
Seems like you could learn something from me.
"In sixth grade chemistry a teacher asked us what element was a gas that was lighter than air, and extremely flammable/explosive."
"I grew up on science because of what my dad does for a living and Bill Nye."
"I knew about the Hindenburg, and so I was really proud of myself when I raised my hand and said 'Hydrogen'."
"The teacher laughed at me and said that no, it was Helium, and the entire rest of the class proceeded to laugh too."
"Almost three decades later I work in a lab now, and f*ck that teacher I was right."- vanyel_ashke.Season 8 Teacher GIF by FriendsGiphy
The dictionary is your friend.
"I have worked as a translator and a proofreader."
"For one of my translations, it went something like 'and he piqued her interest'."
"My proofreader docked me for an inaccuracy and switched it to 'and he peaked her interest'.”
"I’m still salty."
"I tried to get the agency I was working for to remove this person as a proofreader since I question his/her command of the English language."
"Had a similar problem with the phrase “lynch pin” used metaphorically."
"I stopped working with that agency because it pissed me off so much being 'corrected' incorrectly."- spot_o_tea.spelling GIFGiphy
No, that's just an illusion.
"When I told my mom that the clouds were moving and she laughed like I was crazy."-
Did you even read the menu?
"I was in the passenger's seat at a Carl's Jr Drive Thru with a friend."
"He asked what I wanted and I requested the Fried Zucchini."
"He puts half his body through the window to the voice box and goes on this 'My friend here thinks you have some kind of food I know you don't have so I am just going to say it for laughs because you will get a kick out of this'."
"She wants FRIED ZUCCHINI' and starts laughing."
" Well guess who ends up eating fried zucchini."- User Deleted.
And how do you spell that?
"Believe it or not, the pronunciation of my own middle name."- ThePlantie.
We have standards in this community...
"Not me but my Mom tells a story about how she wrote a paper for school about how tough her small town makes it for any new people moving in."
"Basically if you didn't grow up there you were a social outcast for decades and were excluded from a lot of things."
"The teacher didn't agree so she got a bad grade and scoffed at."
"A few years later a news paper reporter essentially wrote the same thing and won a local award for calling out the same small town BS that was going on."- Jberg18.
It's pretty amazing that anyone in this day and age would jump to tell someone they're wrong without having any authority.
Particularly when someone can quickly look up the truth on their phone in less than a minute.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.