I once had a house guest who insisted on showing my husband her nipples. Yeah... betcha didn't see that opener coming did you?
We call it "The Nipcident" - and it was a week long invasion by the most nipple-obsessed human being I have ever met in my life. She and I became friends kind of by osmosis. We shared no common interests, but she was dating one of my employees and we worked from my home, so she hung out a lot.
Nipple girl was a friend who was supposed to be "just hanging out" one night. It got late, we told her to crash on the couch. Somehow she understood that to mean she lived there now.
Some time around day 4 she decided we were family now and "family doesn't have secrets."
Days 4 and 5 were spent with her casually mentioning how nice it was that we were a body positive household. She had seen that we didn't scold our (very) young daughter for not wanting to wear pants. Days 4 and 5 were also spent casually mentioning how interesting and unique her nipples were and just how shocked our employee was the first time he had seen them.
Day 6 she set up a backdrop and some lighting gear in our living room ("Didn't I mention I'm a photographer?") and proceeded to do a topless photo shoot of herself. It wasn't sexual, definitely a more artsy vibe and the pictures were actually gorgeous ... but a little heads up would have been nice, ya know?
After the shoot she just never put her shirt back on and kept walking back and forth through the house mentioning her inverted nipples. Everyone sort of nodded along pretending to be interested - except my husband. That lead to her literally standing in front of the TV topless trying to get his attention, him standing up and sliiiiiiding her to the side and then sitting back down - and her huffing, stomping, and walking away complaining that he was being rude by not wanting to look.
She left in a huff and complained to our employee about how unwelcoming we were. Employee shrugged it off. Apparently this wasn't the first time "the nipple thing" had been an issue.
Yeah... she wasn't invited back
Reddit user Kenygarry asked:
So yeah... lots of people have their own personal "nipcidents" - and as annoying as mine was, it was nothing compared to some of these. At least she didn't poo on my couch and refuse to clean it up. Yup. It's in here.
My best friend wouldn't f*cking leave. When I asked her what her going home plans were after six days, she said "I don't plan my life that way."
We are 30.
My late partner was very sick with leukemia. After over a year of being his 24/7 caregiver I got the opportunity to go abroad for a work trip. My partner insisted I go because I deserved a break from caregiving and that his deadbeat brother would fill in as caregiver while I was gone.
While his brother was staying with in our home, he brought his cat which is a no no for someone who living with zero immune system, did the ABSOLUTE minimum to take care of my partner and left him basically to figure out Meds/food on his own. And the final blow was he stole the big piggy bank that we were using to save for his bucket list vacation before he died. Then denied he did it.
It makes my blood boil thinking about it.
One of my mother's friends is not only a raging alcoholic but is also on ridiculous amount of prescription drugs. One night she was staying with my parents and fell asleep in a leather recliner because of aforementioned alcohol and drugs.
At some point in the middle of the night she sh!t herself, again because of the aforementioned alcohol and drugs, and instead of being a good guest and decent human being and being embarrassed by it and doing her damndest to clean it up, she threw the blanket she was sleeping under over her mess and then went upstairs to sleep in one of the beds. Then she just told my mother about it in the morning and then left.
My mother used bleach and every cleaner under the sun to clean up the mess, and she did, but she ended up just throwing the chair out because how could you ever really look at it the same way again.
The most shocking detail in this story is that my mother is still friends with this lady.
We Didn't Start The Fire ... But The Kid Did.Giphy
A kid whose parents didn't supervise him. He was probably 8 or 9 at the time and would get into ANYTHING - especially stuff computer related. He would dig through drawers and open boxes looking for gadgets to play with. Only to mess them up or lose something.
We finally told the parents they couldn't bring him back when he got into the kitchen and turned on the glass top stove while a pizza box was on it. Started a small, quickly extinguished fire and the house smelled like smoke for about a week.
Had a friend ask to spend a few weeks, 3 weeks to be precise, at my parents house where I also live. A year and a half later we finally kicked him out. Didn't pay rent or buy groceries and he brought his dog with him that after 8 months of living with us, killed my cat. I have to stop now because typing this is making me very angry. He also never bought dog food for HIS dog and my mom ended buying almost all of it. Now he wonders why we don't hang out.
I was at work all day and I always close my door before leaving, ALWAYS. My mum had guests over and decided "hey, let's show the guests everyone's rooms and all the rooms in the house in general." Well, one lady, whom I had never met, didn't like how I arranged MY room, so while everyone was at dinner (I work from 11:30 am to about 9 pm, 6 days a week, so I wasn't there when this happened), she went into my room and rearranged my desk, the clothes in my drawers and closet, all my pictures, and threw out some knick knacks that were given to me by old friends but she thought were 'trash' I 'hadn't thrown out yet'.
I. Was. PISSED.
She totally admitted it, but didn't seem to feel bad at all. My mum was upset too, but not as much as me. They're no longer friends but I'm not sure why, probably because she threw out some of my mum's knick knacks as well.
I don't have many rules for passengers when I'm driving but there are two I will never budge on.
1: Wear your seat belt.
2: Do not smoke in my car.
I had just bought a car, it wasn't brand new but I knew the previous (and only) owner and I knew he was a car guy who took meticulous care of his cars inside and out. He wouldn't even sell me the car before he had given the engine a proper service. Within a week of getting the car a friend asked for a lift to the train station, I knew he smoked so as we walked to the car I told him specifically to wait until we get to the station before he lights up (a 10 minute ride at most).
I back out of the parking spot, drive to the exit of the parking lot and as I check my left hand side for oncoming cars I hear from my right the distinctive sound of a lighter sparking up. Dude could not even wait until we were out of the f*cking car park before he just had to have his goddamn cigarette. I ask him what the hell he thinks he's doing and he just looks at me and says "Relax, it's not like it's a new car." He ended up walking to the train station.
There Are Bathrooms For That
I had a guest that would walk around the house while she was brushing her teeth which was no big deal. The problem was when she was done she'd use the nearest sink to spit and rinse her mouth out which was often the kitchen sink that had dishes soaking in it.
And she clipped her toenails at the dinner table.
Late Realtor here. But you wouldn't imagine how many people come to your open house from 2-4 on a Saturday and take a massive, violent, vile, disgusting sh!t in the bathroom of another person's home and then leave. No turning on of fan. No thank you. Just make the house smell like a sewer for the rest of the day.
After being told not to smoke in the house, my wife's uncle had a few drinks and passed out in the bed in our guest room with a lit cigarette in his hand. My wife and were downstairs, smelled the smoke, and ran up to find that the mattress was on fire...so, my wife dragged her uncle off the bed, I grabbed the fish tank in the room, and dumped it's contents on the bed to put out the fire.
Thankfully, though the mattress was destroyed and we had to buy a new mattress and bed linens...the only casualties were the fish in the tank.
As well, we were also lucky enough that the floor in that room had no carpet so clean up wasn't too bad. After the incident was over / fire was out, my wife's uncle was actually upset that we told him he had to sleep on the couch (since he had destroyed the bed) and my wife took his cigarettes and keys (so he couldn't go buy more) away from him and said she'd give them back when he got up the next morning. He has not stayed with us since.
Asked for a "tour." Homie we're in the kitchen, you can see the bathroom where I cry, that room with the couch is where I live, the room with the bed is where I eat my meals and spend my days. End of tour.
Just For The Weekend
We have a "friend" in his mid 40s. Dude is a sht show, cannot get his life together, has pissed away so many great jobs for stupid reasons, and is a womanizer and misogynist. Mostly only called "friend" because we've all known each other since we were teens. But we all grew up, he didn't.
Anyway, about 3 years ago, he showed up after having moved away a while wanting to crash "for the weekend" to catch up with old friends. So we said ok, no big deal. That weekend turned into 6 months. He ate our food, used my kids toiletries, expected us to buy dog food for his dog, put his nasty muddy clothes in my washer, sprayed on enough cologne to choke an army, borrowed my husband's car and left it on empty multiple times, stacked his dirty shit all over my house, used my kids' phones to call random people, gave out my number to reach him, and basically just completely took advantage. I am way too nice and hubs is even nicer. We put up with his shit til I flipped the b!tch switch and told him to go.
But wait, is not over. About a year later, he's right back in his same sh!t hole situation. Begs my husband to let him just stay "the weekend" again. Hubs being the nice guy here is, brings him here. This time I lost it on him after about 2 months.
But wait, there's more! About 2 weeks ago, he shows up with some gal we've never met wanting us to let them BOTH stay here. Ummm, no. I don't know her, I have kids to worry about, and I have earned my shit and don't want to take a chance on getting it stolen in the night. Go on down the road, I know how this story ends and I'm not willing to play along any more. I'm sure he's told everyone we know how mean I am but I don't even care.
I had a friend who would always punch me on the shoulder. Every time we saw each other; punch on the shoulder. At school. At parties. Meeting up with friends. Punch on the shoulder. Nothing wrong with it except he hit really hard. Like it really hurt to the point where I would try to avoid him.
And while I could've just told him to stop, I was a really quiet guy. So one day he shows up at my house party. He does it again. Punch on the shoulder. So I do it back but lightly.
Guess what he does. He comes back with an even harder punch to my shoulder. So I throw one back hard. Then he does it again but this time at my face. I take it, but then I jump on him and start pounding until people pull us apart.
Kicked his butt out and never saw him again. No one felt bad for him though. Turns out he did it to everybody else too.
Even his ex girlfriend who still hanged out with us said she would leave their dates with bruises and that why she dumped him.
A Snail ProblemGiphy
My cousin visited and stayed with us for two weeks. During this time we kept finding these snail trails on the walls, the banister by the stairs, the arms of our couches, etc. My mom even called an exterminator to help get rid of this snail or slug problem we suddenly had. Turns out it was my cousin blowing her nose on her hands and smearing it on any surface that was close by.
Ordered food delivery without asking me. I dont know why but it offended the shit out of me at the time. Like, the doorbell just rings and I have no idea who it is, and my friend who was visiting me pays the Uber Eats guy for some takeout. I thought it was totally rude, but I guess we were just raised in different homes.
Pissed on the floor and did not cleaned it up afterwards. Repeatedly. It became so routine that I eventually began calling people out about it when it happened, and narrowed it down to two people. Now if it happens I berate them in front of everyone else in our house.
If you're going to suggest I am being harsh, we're all in our 30's now. If you're so disrespectful that you can't even clean up your own piss you leave in someone else's house, you're the a$$hole. Not me.
When I was in college, my dorm roommate's dad came by. He lived fairly close, so he was in the dorm pretty regularly. I was not in the dorm at that moment on this particular occasion. While I was gone, he cleaned and organized my entire side of the room.
Including my underwear and stuff.
I got back really late that night and kept the lights dim as I got into bed because my roommate was already asleep. I rolled out of bed just before I had to leave for my first class the next morning, and I ended up late because I couldn't find any of my shit. None of it was where it was supposed to be.
Any engaged couple looks forward to the big day when after months of planning, they get to tie the knot and declare their love in front of family and friends.
What could possibly go wrong?
It turns out there are so many variables that can contribute to making the bride and groom's celebration a major matrimonial miss.
Curious to hear examples of weddings gone wrong, Redditor lolf**kno asked:
"Those who have been to a ruined wedding, what happened?"
Dramatic brawls and speeches plagued these weddings.
Catty Attendees And Booze
"Very beautiful wedding in a huge barn at this apple orchard. They must have spent a ton of money on the decorations and catering because it looked like something out of a magazine. The ceremony was great, the flower girl did her thing, the vows got everyone choked up. Everything seemed to be going well. Not even 15 minutes into the reception the mothers of the bride and groom getting into a full out brawl, hair pulling, red wine being thrown. Their sons jump in to defend their honor, chairs start being throw, tables are flipped, parents are grabbing children and running for their lives."
"The bride and groom are horrified and leave immediately and head back their honeymoon suite. My fiancé and I left after this as well but we heard from some other friends that most people ended up staying and getting wasted at the open bar on the bride and groom's dime. Apparently, the fight started because one of the groom's sister complimented the bride's grandmother's dress. The bride's mom thought she was being sarcastic and called her a b*tch, then the drama ensued. Mind you they had all been pregaming the wedding pretty hard."
Playing For The Drunk Uncle
"I played a wedding where as we started playing the set, everyone ran outside and nobody was to be seen for the rest of the night."
"I originally assumed it was because nobody liked us but the bride came in afterwards and said there was a huge fight involving multiple members of both families and everyone basically went home upset, injured or in a police van."
"We couldn't stop playing since we were payed and it was our job, and the only person watching was the drunk uncle dancing on his own asking for requests we didn't know."
Maid Of Honor Speech Goes Off The Rails
"Was a guest of friend of the bride, did not know anyone attending. Very expensive over the top place, several hundred guests of this very Italian wedding. Maid of honor grabs mic at the cocktail hour begins her speech, rambling, drunk. Quickly devolves to stating the recently deceased mother of the bride was against this wedding and that's basically what killed her. Plus Vinny will never give up sex workers. She is tackled by several people and dragged away."
"The happy couple is separated and divorced within a year."
This is what happens when bad luck crashes weddings.
Tumbling Into The Sunset
"I work at a golf course with a lot of history behind it. We do wedding venues inside the clubhouse and the actual ceremony is held outside by the historic water fountain and large pond."
"First problem was the weather. I live in the high desert and it was very warm. A solid 90 degrees that day and it was also pretty windy. So everyone's outside, no umbrellas, no ezups."
"The next problem, and probably the worst, was the golf cart incident. The bride and groom wanted to 'ride into the sunset' on one of our golf carts. Drive around a little bit on the golf course. To be fair, it is beautiful on the course during sunset. However the cart had somehow gotten a nail in the tire, tire went flat, battery on the cart went crazy and the cart ended up freaking out. It came to an complete stop from 15mph to zero. The wheels and mechanisms locked up, almost seizing. Both the bride and groom (fairly overweight mind you) both fell out and rolled over a few times. They were totally okay, just a few bruises and perhaps a bruised ego or two. So retrieving that cart was fun."
"And last but not least, the power inside the clubhouse went out to do the high winds. There was no after party available. Only the cake was cut, hardly any food was given out. Yeah, not a great day to cover for someone on your day off."
"I was not born yet, but my parents rented the observation deck on the Hancock building in Boston for their reception. Tallest building in the city, beautiful view. My dad pored over historic weather charts to figure out what day was statistically most likely to be nice out. Day of the wedding comes and of course, thick fog unlike anything they'd ever seen before. Couldn't see a thing out the windows of the room they had picked specifically for the view."
"Worked out well though, they were happily married for nearly 30 years before cancer took my dad's life a few years ago."
"There's one other funny anecdote from that wedding: The wedding was held in Kings Chapel, which is an incredibly historic church here in downtown Boston that's somewhat of a major tourist attraction. To close that on a weekend afternoon for a wedding, it turns out, was not very expensive. The tourists waiting outside to see the church didn't know that, though, and someone started the rumor that my parents were incredibly wealthy, maybe even Kennedys. As a result, there were tons of people taking photos of them when they left the ceremony. Not sure if any of them ever figured out that my parents were most certainly not rich or famous."
"I was best man at my sister in laws wedding (stepped in for the brother of the groom, that's another story entirely)."
"For a whole year of planning all the bride (SIL) wanted was a dove release while they said handwritten vows to each other. Very small, non denominational (most of the family are atheist anyway) wedding."
"Day arrives (early summer) and something is off with the bird handlers. They show up a bit late and are sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time comes to say their vows I help the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to what is to be the altar where the bride and groom are standing."
"Vows are just about wrapping up and the handler gives ME the signal to open the chest. I open it and see 20-30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE!!!! I immediately close it to try and limit who knows what happened. Too late. The look of horror on the bride's was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up but by the end of the reception the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on."
Tragic losses unfortunately befell leading up to or at a couple's nuptials.
The Wedding Guest Who Left Too Soon
"When I was 6 or 7 I went to a cousin's wedding. Everything was fabulous for little me, so much sugar everywhere, basically heaven. The reception was in a big community center that was reserved for the occasion. Went to the girls' bathroom, passing by the men's room to see my uncle on the floor. Went back to the main room to tell my dad my uncle was looking weird. Well, uncle had a stroke and had died."
"The bride spent the rest of the afternoon crying, and everyone except close family left."
"Bright side is the mariage is still going strong 20 years later, despite what happened that day."
A Terminal Diagnosis
"Leading up to my friends wedding his father had been battling cancer after a terminal diagnosis. And it was touch and go whether he would be well enough to attend the wedding, in the end he was too unwell to attend despite wishing that he could."
"Just as we got to the wedding reception my friend was informed that his father had just passed away. It was devastating."
"Happened to my classmate. He is successful middle level manager, divorced, about 35yo or so. Found a girl of his dreams but from a provincial poor town. The girl insisted to have the wedding in her town to show off her 'success.' The wedding is crashed by her old friends including male friends who are not that sophisticated and have some tense feelings towards the successful groom from the city. Somebody starts a fight in the middle of wedding, groom is trying to stop it and got stabbed in the back. Died right there. And he was my classmate."
An Unfortunate Trespassing
"The wedding was at a state park that's famous for its giant gorge/waterfall. I don't know whose idea this was, but someone suggested a photo overlooking this gorge and everybody was game. The wedding party went around a stone security barrier and the maid of honor literally fell off the cliff to her death. It was like 500+ feet."
With a lot riding on a wedding to go off without a hitch, the mounting pressure is one where something is surely to buckle.
And because wedding guests are usually inebriated and high on the buzz of celebration, they throw caution to the wind and make some choices they wouldn't make under normal circumstances.
People's ill-advised actions can have regretful consequences, but no one expects death to be an outcome.
Fortunately, the weddings I've attended or heard about from friends were not as catastrophic as the anecdotes mentioned above.
While the Redditors' stories are sorrowful, it gives me a sense of relief these devastating examples are rare occurrences.
Sometimes I think back to a teacher I had when I was a kid who demanded to know whether any of us were "raised in a barn" in response to crappy behavior. Namely littering. She hated littering. Can you blame her? It's a horrible habit and some people do it with no sense of shame. She dedicated much of her time to telling students to pick up after themselves and dispose of things properly. For that, I'm thankful.
But why didn't anyone else get the memo? The trash I see on the streets is obscene.
People had lots of thoughts to share after Redditor SneakyStriedker876 asked the online community,
"What seemingly uncivilized thing is commonplace in society?"
"We delight in the deaths of others as long as we feel it was justified. But when the reverse happens we act all high and mighty like we wouldn't engage in the same behavior."
"Slaughtering each other..."
"Slaughtering each other via warfare to solve political differences. It's standard policy worldwide."
Indeed it is. And it seems impossible to stop.
"Littering. Especially dropping cigarette butts on the ground/flicking them out the window.
The world is not your personal ashtray/garbage bin."
Every now and then I find new trash in my yard and I am constantly amazed by how nasty people can be.
"Mobbing someone because of their opinion or for a comment they made a long time ago, even if that time was yesterday."
"Xenophobia. The fact that racism and racial violence still exist is an indicator that we're still tribal primates in fancy clothes."
And it makes no sense! It's not based in reality. We are truly a tribal species.
"Shouting while arguing, refusing to listen to the opinions of others, basically the inability to debate and maintain proper communication."
"Letting people die..."
"Letting people die of curable conditions simply because they can't afford healthcare."
Probably the biggest reason why much of the Western world looks at the United States with shame in their eyes.
"Parents forcing their kids to hug family/friends despite the kid being uncomfortable doing it. They feel uncomfortable for a reason."
"During the holiday season..."
"During the holiday season, customers take products off of our online fulfillment carts. Y'all have legs. Get your own."
"Using phone speakers..."
"Using phone speakers in public. I don't care what you and your friend think about that restaurant, or how much that Spotify jam speaks to you. Nobody else wants to hear it."
We truly need to stop all of these, don't you think?
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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I love presents. I try to hide my enthusiasm, and I do my best to appease the greater public by saying "it's the thought that counts." But that is a WHOLE lie. I don't just love gifts, I love great gifts. And if you go rogue from my lists, please keep a receipt. It's just plain rude to divert from what the recipient has requested.
This thought process has emerged from experience. I have received some trash presents over the years and now I'm too old to pretend you just went crazy while shopping. Like... "do you even know me?!"
Redditor u/sulemannkhann wanted to hear all about the presents some of us have received that we prayed, came with a receipt, by asking:
What's the worst birthday gift you ever got?
Have we met? That is an actual question I asked a gift giver once. (Who shall rename nameless) Football tickets. FOOTBALL TICKETS?! Who? What? I can't.
Looks FamiliarBroad City Wow GIF by Comedy CentralGiphy
"My own scarf. Yes, that's right, my mother went into my room took my only scarf, wrapped it and gave it to me like it was a new scarf."
"Thought I was getting a bike for my 15th birthday but my foster parents announced that they were sending me to a group home after living with them for 11 years. Devastation! That place was a wake up call. More independence then at my foster home but those kids had it really really bad, 12 year old heroine addicts, abuse... what the entire hell! I hurried up, graduated from high school at 16 and got the hell out of that place. I turned out ok, work in the legal field, live in Las Vegas. I did forgive my foster parents before they died."
The Forgotten One
"My brother and I worked for a farmer one summer, and he paid us with a used car. At the end of the next year, my brother graduated high school, so my parents paid me out for my half of the car, and that was his graduation gift. I gave them all a big discount compared to what it was worth. So like $500 for my share of a $2500 car."
"2 years later, and I needed $50 for some graduation fees, so I borrowed it from my mom until I could get to the bank. (Before mobile banking and ATMs everywhere.) Later, when my mom is telling me they invited all their friends over for a 'graduation' party, I asked if they had gotten a gift for me. "Well I gave you fifty bucks."
"I paid it back the next day, and she didn't blink. The 'graduation party' was just my parents friends, who said congratulations to me, but it wasn't really for me. A few years later, my little sister graduated, she got a car. They bought a used car for her, and our other little sister got the same when she graduated. My parents are mostly nice, and I never felt like they singled me out at birthdays or anything. Just my graduation seemed like I turned invisible."
Office Party Fail
"HR complaint from two subordinates fighting over how to throw me a surprise birthday party."
"I've never worked in an office environment, but the stories I've heard of people being required to buy a cake for the whole office and to celebrate their birthday with their coworkers would be enough to keep me in blue collar work for life, were it not for the fact that I love being active and working with my hands and could never sit at a desk all day anyway."
Basicslaw school finals GIFGiphy
"My Asian mom's gift was "no extra Kumon homework after school homework" so my birthday gift was that I didn't get extra homework from her."
Regifting is trash behavior. Do better. I'd rather you just say I forgot. Or... I just don't care for that much. But regifting? No.
"Stomach flu and my first ever period, at the same time. I think it was my 13th birthday."
"Omg, exact same story for me. It was my 13th birthday and my family took us kids to visit our relatives in Subsaharan Africa for the first time. I was sick, jetlagged, overheated and riding down a bumpy road in a Jeep driven by my dad in the complete darkness. We had just eaten at a restaurant where I found a giant scarab beetle in the bottom of my soup bowl. I have flashbacks to this day."
"My grandparents have been gifting me (and my brother) the same set of three vice grips for almost 10 years. Collectively we have 60 vice grips. I don't know if they bought a pallet of them, or where they are coming from. GET A GRIP GRANDMA!"
"I had a friend who's father was famous for doing Christmas shopping at the last minute. One year she complained that she went downstairs on Christmas morning and found, sticking out of her stocking, a spatula. Her birthday was a few days after telling that story, so myself and her friends all decided to get together and get her spatulas for her birthday, as a gag gift."
"Well, when it was our birthdays she retaliated. Which lead to a counter-offensive. And soon a new tradition was formed. And guys, I have so many spatulas now. Everything from dollar store cheap plastic, to hand-carved spatulas, a golden spatula, and even a replica of the famous Malaysian fighting spatula."
"I've got seasonal spatulas. As in, today it's time to pack away the Christmas spatulas and bring out the heart-shaped Valentine's day ones, followed by the bunny-shaped Easter ones. We've also been passing around this clip from the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF. "Spatula City, we sell spatulas, and that's all!"
Their ultimate whack-a-doo move...
"A pair of homemade custom pajamas. Only problem was that they weren't made yet. It was just the fabric and a promise to make them for me. I had to give the fabric back and I never got the pajamas."
"Nothing legal just at our wedding they gave us a card that basically said 'have some land.' When the dust settled I asked what they thought we would do with it, they said build a home. I said ok, gonna need legal ownership for like building a house. They said sure we will get right on that. Then they decide to sell out and retire and never mentioned our wedding 'gift' again."
Gross...Disgusted Steve Carell GIFGiphy
"My grandma got me a hairbrush with a plastic horse head handle. The horse head was all chipped up and there was hair in the brush."
"My Godfather sent me a Birthday card each year which said, he paid 100 bucks to a bank account which I was supposed to get, when 16yo. He then got into alcohol, used all the money and died."
Oh for God sake, why even bother giving anything at all? Lint rollers, used brushes, homemade pjs... y'all ever hear of a gift card? Just put five bucks on it and call it a day. You can't hide cheap, so stop trying.
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I'm still on the fence about this whole extraterrestrial situation. I need more proof. Now I'm not naive enough to think that in this vast, endless universe only the human race exists. I just need proof, tangible, solid, didn't see it from my trailer through beer goggles proof.
I also need proof about the afterlife, another out there topic. Truth be told, I've never been that into this whole conversation. I've got enough daily problems on this planet, let alone worrying about making Will Smith's biggest hits into documentaries and not just popcorn/comedy space farce.
But let's compare thoughts...
Redditor u/ValencikHannibal197 wanted to discuss life beyond this planet, what do we really think? They asked:
What's the best theory on UFOs or aliens you've ever heard??
I definitely wouldn't turn down an excursion to AREA 51. I'd like to poke around and get a sense of the place. I've never personally been up close and face to face with a "non-Earther." Not sure I'd like to be...
TV Truthx files monkey pee GIF by The X-FilesGiphy
"UFOs/Aliens are a cover for all of the secret projects that the government is working on. Actually stole that from the X files."
"How human birth parallels alien abductions:
- Babies are taken from their home (womb)
- They still developing sight, so they see bright lights and grey figures.
- They hear an "alien" language they don't understand.
- They suddenly feel cold after leaving their womb.
- They are in a surgery room being poked with tons of instruments.
Long story short: some people suggest that abductions are just people who had memories of their birth."
In the Mind
"I just don't think anyone will ever see this. But I think that UFO's are the projection of our unconscious collective mind. Everything that exists in reality, also exists, in our immaterial mind. Is it possible that the insides of our mind are also just one drop in the ocean of consciousness... and together we create the material reality were in, simply by experiencing it in a real way, inside-out through our senses."
"My father was an aircraft mechanic and fabricator for test and spy aircraft for the USAF. He spent 75-85 working with test aircraft. He said that when they were going to do a test, that could possibly be seen by the public, they would make a betting pool on how many UFO reports local authorities and flight towers received."
Under the Seasci-fi ufo GIFGiphy
"I like the idea that some UFOs aren't machines. Instead they are some sort of Upper-Atmosphere Jellyfish. I found the issue of Fortean Times that had this article. Here's the cover: http://ft.gjovaag.com/q/images/a/ae/FT291.jpg"
Interesting. There are some ideas we can look into. None of it proof, but possibilities. There are certainly plenty of future film ideas.
"We are like that un contacted tribe and everyone agrees not to bother us."
"I've heard it explained from a channel (idk if you know what channeling is) kinda like this. First of all, we as a species tend to freak out, shoot first and ask questions later. Most humans would have a literal psychotic break. You have to believe in vibrational energy as it relates to our consciousness."
"The aliens (certain ones) are at such a higher level that it would be jarring for us to come in close contact with. We are slowly getting there but it's a process. Like 2012, end of the Mayan calendar, wasn't the end of the world it was the end of an energy cycle that we as the human race had never made it past before."
"Previous civilizations have been destroyed or destroyed themselves before they got this far. We passed a point where we are very unlike to destroy ourselves anymore. This doesn't mean we won't see some real bad hardships yet but we will keep progressing."
"train your eyes"Dancing GIFGiphy
"I was a firm believer in t em when I was in high school and kept googling theories and info in my spare time and during my study halls. They said their bodies were so lightweight or something that the reason why you can't see the evidence is that they disintegrate before hitting the ground."
"And then LOL it was so funny, some people would swear you could "train your eyes" to see rods... HhhahAHAHAHA. Like there were these experts. Video showed him walking around with a serious face, then pointing. And he's like, "that was one just there." "You can't see them, you have to be used to them... like me."
"I've spent many years immersed into hunting them finding them. That's why I can see them." And then one day China, who loves occult stuff, had like a lab that set up a nighttime camera to capture footage of rods at night... then realized they were normal bugs at overexposure. lol"
"The Dark Forest theory. Basically the theory that the reason we haven't made contact is because all the other civilized life in the universe/galaxy knows not to broadcast their location. They've learned that there's something awful or predatory lurking in the dark forest of our galaxy, and that it's better if they keep to themselves."
"That the universe is so vast that we haven't been discovered yet."
"This makes sense to me because traversing the distance to or from even our our stellar neighbors would require technology that is not known to us now or likely to be known by us anytime soon if it's even possible at all. To assume without evidence that aliens could possess this technology and have visited us does not meet my skeptical standards."
Back and Forthback to the future great scott GIFGiphy
"Time travel exists, and UFO sightings are actually future humans coming back to our time. That is why they are so discreet, and never openly make contact."
I hope time travel exists. Now that I'm onboard for. If aliens do exist... just come on out guys. We could probably use your help.
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