Ordep333When my middle child was 4, we got into a minor car accident. From the back seat she calmly asked if we had been in a car accident. When I confirmed she nodded knowingly and said
"When you've been in an accident dial 911, then call 411 for 1 800 411 PAIN. 411 PAIN, call 911 then call 411."
It was like watching a little robot recite a bit of programming she didn't know she had. That moment absolutely confirmed that those annoyingly repetitive commercials stick in your head.
One Reddit user asked:
And yeah, these people absolutely remember the companies - but it maybe didn't work out the way advertisers had hoped. Most people who responded seemed to have a strange lingering hatred for the company and a refusal to use them.
I certainly didn't call 411 PAIN.
Buried in the comments we found gold - a plot between two Reddit users (one of whom happens to live near the CEO of a hated company) so deliver a strongly worded letter about how much their jingles and commercials suck!
But Where Do I Apply?
Head on, apply directly to the forehead
Apply directly to the forehead!
It was literally just wax they told you to rub on your forehead. It had no medical effect. The only way it was legal was they didn't actually specify what it did when you rubbed it on your forehead, just that you should. The original ads did say that it was for headaches, but the gov't shut that down.
No Effort From Empire
Not sure how "national" it was, but there's this carpeting company "Empire Today" that had this really annoying commercial.
it just went (singing) "Eight hundred, five eight eight, two three hundred, empire (voiceover):Today"
It was on all the time. I think that really annoyed me about it was that they didn't even try to come up with theme song, they just sang their phone number. It doesn't rhyme or anything. It's not even that memorable.
I had to google "annoying carpet commercial." But once I saw "Empire" I remembered the tune, not the exact number, but the melody.
And, if I need flooring done, I'm just googling "flooring companies near me".
877 Cash When?gordon ramsay fox GIF by MasterChef JuniorGiphy
Call j g went worth 877 cash now!!!
🎶I have a structured settlement but I need cash nooooowwwwww🎶
IF YOU HAVE AN ANNUITY BUT YOU NEED CASH NOOOOOOW
My dad had a structured settlement that paid 15k a year til death. When he was about 55 years old he called jg Wentworth just out of curiosity. They offered him 30k.....
He did eventually settle with the employer a few years later for a lump sum of about 250k.
Why the f*ck is Jake from State Farm relevant again? That commercial was like 10 years ago and now he's the face of the company like hes some dude that I'm supposed to trust.
Jake ruined a marriage. I want nothing to do with that home wrecker.
"That F*cking Limu"
Liberty Mutual Insurance's "LiMu Emu" commercials. I will never use that insurance company specifically because these commercials are so bad.
I swear 2/3 of the YouTube ads I see are about that f*cking limu. I WILL NEVER USE LIBERTY MUTUAL BECAUSE I'M SO F*CKING SICK OF THOSE ADS.
I have to agree! LiMu Emu is the WORST!
Late Night Earworm
I don't know if I'd call it annoying, but the Education Connection song from ~10 years ago is a hell of an earworm.
Always. Always at like 1:30AM, every night, every Adult Swim commercial break. Drove me insane then but it's kind of a nice nostalgia boost now though.
That ad drove my Mom nuts when she watched That 70's Show late at night on The N/Teen Nick. I saw it a lot during Degrassi, too.
OMG you are truly EVIL! I couldn't even get thru that commercial because I was almost instantly annoyed!
Grow Upbaby do not want GIFGiphy
Attention parents and grandparents of young children, Gerber life is accepting applications for the affordable grow up plan. The grow up plan gives your child 10,000 dollars in whole life insurance protection now, then doubles automatically to 20,000 dollars later at no extra cost, start now for just pennies a day
I just had PTSD reading this.
Honestly, those ads freaked me the f*ck out. Who insures a baby? (Cue intro to a show on Investigation Discovery.)
The Pink Stuff
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea~
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea~
sing that in a western accent.
Every time I see this commercial, I think, "somewhere out there is a guy who is so excited to tell his family that he got his 'big break' and called his grandma to tell her he is the 'diarrhea guy!'"
I randomly have the 'Stanley Steemer's commercial jingles pop up in my head. I don't even have one in my country >:/
F*ck you Stanley Steemer.
LOOL Im the CEO's neighbor he has a Stanley Steemer van in his driveway right now!
Do you mind dropping an envelope with some of my opinions about his goddamn jingle into his mailbox?
Sure, Ill stick one through the open window of the van too.
Awesome, I finally get to vent my built-up decade-long hate for the Stanley Steamer jingle.
You have no idea how liberating this is for me and all those who had to endure the jingle and never have their carpets thoroughly cleaned.
This is actually very cathartic.
Dear Mr. "Stanley Steemer", This will be the last package I ever send your @ss. I can't believe you've done this. I used to hear your jingle from all the way in Canada and it filled me with hope, wonder and anticipation. There's no denying the jingle is a masterpiece the likes of Mozart or Bach, but let's not pretend like weaponizing it on unsuspecting viewers who cannot ever have their carpet steemed isn't a war crime.
I wondered how I could have my carpets cleaned at a young age, and in each stage of my life there was that jingle "Stanley Steemer, your certified cleaner". I honestly have no f*cking idea what that even means, even today as a man. What are you certified for? Soap and water? Is it a ruse? Are you guys even insured!? A line so vague it could mean anything, but alas it had a catchy tune.
Life went on, yet there it was. Staring me in the face like a piping hot, steaming - "Stanley Steemer makes your home cleaner!". Firstly, wow. The skill involved in creating such a simple yet effective rhyme, could move Beethoven to tears... If he wasn't deaf. I digress, I think it's time we put this all to rest. For the love of God, take down the commercial. For the sanity or those who happen to have a channel package which for some reason features local commercials and have lifelong PTSD and have spent years in therapy trying to forget. From one Stan to another, take it down. I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose.
Sincerely yours, Stan
P.S. we should be together too
The Opposite Of Feel-Good TV
No one will know this. There was a commercial for Kinder Family here in germany. Kinder are the guys who make the surprise eggs.
It was supposed to be these short 15 second skits that rotate every week or so. You could watch them online even.
I have not seen anything that was as unfunny as that before or since. It was like everytime you watch one you cringed so hard it would hurt. I felt awful after watching each and every one of them.
Double Shot Of Jersey Shore
My family watches a lot of Ridiculousness, and MTV is going back through their Jersey Shore cast catalog and making shows with Pauly D and Vinny again. The Double Shot of Love commercials are full of "yeah buddy" and "yas".
You definitely won't remember this if you weren't English and born in the 2000's. But if you were, then Llelly Kelly's were ingrained into your mind because whenever you watched Cartoon Network or Disney channel they were there.
Lelly Kelly's, the coolest shoes, lelly Kelly's they are so cool, oh wow
I know it's important. I also know commercials are louder because people tend to walk away, but god damn. You play that thing so much I feel like I got the disease!
A Quest For Silence
Never actually 'seen' it, but certainly heard it more times than anyone should have.
"What am I doing tonight? I'm calling Quest!"
Like Holy Hand grenades I don't give a sh*t what you do or who you call, lady. If I hear you advertise your stupid phone sex line one more time I swear to god I will literally implode.
I work as a security guard in a hospital over night, and spend 8 hours a day just outside a patients room. He leaves the T.V. on all night and I swear there are only 2 commercials that run on whatever shitty tv network he watches.
We would love silence but instead we get a TV blasting about the phone sex hotline ... and some stupid lady saying "They are some of the hottest videos on the internet, those videos showing you how to get rid of those bags under your eyes..."
It's the Quest phone sex one that I hate the most though.
Sorry, ShirleyRisa GIF by memecandyGiphy
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The Mandela effect is when multiple people share the same, incorrect memory.
Its name stems from when paranormal researcher Fiona Broome falsely believed that the future president of South Africa, Nelson Mandela, died in prison in the 1980s.
A false memory she shared with a number of others.
Our memories have been known to deceive us, as we might frequently forget someone's name or one of our numerous online passwords.
But when we share a memory that turns out to be false with many others, convincing ourselves it wasn't the truth can be a very difficult ordeal indeed.
Redditor Mysterious_Boat_1701 was curious to hear people's most unsettling experiences with the Mandela Effect, leading them to ask:
"Which Mandela effect freaks you out the most and why?"
A mysterious gym
"Just had one personally."
"Went to a mall where there was supposedly a gym, asked around and nobody that worked at the mall knew what I was talking about."
"Looked around and couldn't find it."
"Come back a few months later and it’s right there in front of my face, you'd have to be strung out to not notice it."
"idk how or when it just appeared but it freaked me out."- prex320278
A "fruit"ful logo.
"That the fruit of the loom logo never had a cornucopia."
"What’s crazy about that one is that someone emailed the creator of the logo about it and he said even he remembers it having one."- mrcock2·
Less well intentioned than they thought.
"I Mandela effected my whole family once."
"Years ago there was a football player on a rival team that always did a dumb celebration after he got a sack and my family and I always hated it."
"One night after he did it my family started trashing the celebration and I said as a joke 'we are all going to feel terrible when we find out he is doing that celebration as a request from a make-a-wish kid'."
"Fast forward to years later and our team is playing that team again."
"The player got a sack and did the celebration."
"I rolled my eyes and said 'I hate that celebration so much' my mom instantly turned and said 'don't say that, he is doing it for a sick kid'."
"'I actually like it."
"So I was like 'what?'"
"'No there is no sick kid', my whole family then proceeded to argue with me'."
"They all vividly remembered reading articles about it, seeing special report segments before games about it, and other information."
"Some of them even thought they knew the disease the kid had and even extra details about why the kid chose that specific celebration."
"They all had these shared memories that they were sure were true."
"I was floored by all this and insisted none of that was true."
"So we looked it up.'
'No kid like that ever existed.'
"They still have trouble wrapping their heads around this one."
"Turned out human memory is not near as reliable as we think"
"It was American Football and the player was Jared Allen of the Minnesota Vikings and his cattle roping sack celebration."
"This was maybe 10 years ago."- AUSpartan37College Football Win GIF by Michigan State FootballGiphy
His eyesight was better than we thought.
"Mr. Monopoly's monocle."- Additional_Day9903
It's not easy being green.
"I have a personal one that to this day a decade later still destroys my mind."
"I had an old(ish) 2001 dodge neon."
"With BLACK SEATS.'
"I drove this car for years and years, like 80,000 miles.'
'All through college."
"I took work breaks in my car, commuted hours every day total, to college and then the opposite direction to work and back."
"I even lived out of this thing on several occasions.'
'The day I go and trade it in, I'm pulling misc things out of the car at the dealer."
'And the seats are GREEN."
"Not even a little."
'Like very unmistakably GREEN."
"In my black Neon, with black interior, that ALWAYS HAD BLACK SEATS."
"My girlfriend then, wife now, goes oh they've always been green."
"EXCEPT THEY F*CKING WEREN'T DON'T LIE TO ME."
"This is still upsetting to this day..... life is a lie and nothing is real."- ZakuLegionWinona Ryder Omg GIFGiphy
An urban legend was born.
"Not a global one, just a family thing."
"Back in 2002 my grandma had her 60th birthday, my father took us home at 10.00pm, ready for bed."
"We, me and brother, were 12 and 14 at this time."
'All went well."
"Over the years, a story was made up that we went missing after visiting the local playground after dinner at said grandma's birthday party."
"Some neighbors help to search us, the whole train of 'missing children in a smal village'-thing."
"Fun fact: we never went missing."
"Dad brought us home, put on 'Toy Story' on tv and left."
"My brother and I heard first about this in 2015.'
"From different people on different occasions."
"'Ah your one of the missing boys'."
"I first thought they were mocking me for a different event.'
"I got lost, but it was 2013, alcohol inflicted, different story."
"But then they ALL tell us the same story about us going missing."
'And the stories are damn close to 'true' in every story my mum is driving around the same neighbors to different locations to search, old wine yard, old mill etc."
"Sometimes I think I got lost on the most brutal way."
"I was lost and changed this plane of existence with another one."
"It sometimes made me think about my whole life."- tjorben123missing kenny mccormick GIF by South Park Giphy
Memories are a fascinating thing.
They can be changed or altered with even the tiniest suggestion.
And making the truth seem less believable than lies.
One last time. One last meal.
How do you chose a last meal?
Let's hope we never have to find out.
People on death row get that option.
Do they deserve it?
Whose to say?
But they have it.
A steak. A pizza... Burger King.
The food world is their oyster.
Oyster. Also an option.
The menu is endless...
Redditor No-Caterpillar4212 wanted to know what our menu choices would be if we faced the end. They asked:
"You're on a death row, you have one hour left, they ask for your final meal - what is it?"
I'd want 2 hours in a Golden Coral with a bar. Covers it all.
Masailor moon cooking GIFGiphy
"Everything my mom has ever made."
"I want a nice filet mignon, medium rare, a baked potato with everything on it, and a nice Cabernet from a good year - I'm thinking 2135."
"'Sorry, we couldn't get the Cabernet from 2135. So instead of what could have been a great wine request from a more plausible period of time, you get this crappy stuff we sourced from Wal-Mart. Enjoy your meal, I hope that maintaining your sense of humor was worth it."'
"Something badly cooked so I will be sick and want to die sooner and have diarrhea so bad it will be a last revenge!"
"Taco bell it is!"
"If Taco Bell makes you poop a lot, it's a sign that you probably need more fiber in your diet."
The Yuck Factor
"A huge bowl of baked beans, a bowl of shredded wheat, a six egg omelette, and a gallon of apple cider. I'm gonna make it awful for everyone."
"Save yourself the hassle of eating all that, just ask for one pack of sugar free Haribo gummy bears. Should make for an interesting time for the folks watching you die."
"You void your bowels when you die too so that should be lovely."
PerfectFried Chicken Scandal GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Fried chicken with some Fanta."
Fried chicken is on the top of everyone's list!
DetailsInterested GIF by Nick CannonGiphy
"150mg of MDMA. I’m dying happy."
"This should absolutely be allowed. If our leaders insist on the practice of capital punishment then the condemned should be able to ingest any substance they damn please."
"McFlurry. Those machine are always broken. I just bought myself some time."
"Is this like an American thing? I worked at a McDonald's in Denmark once and our machine was never once broken when i was there."
"I saw a video about this once. I'm a little fuzzy on the details but I think it has something to do with the contract that was signed in America. Only one company is allowed to do maintenance on the machines and they basically lock out if it's cleaned incorrectly. It's a crap system."
"Cabbage!! Add some cabbage. I don’t know if an hour if enough to take effect but there was an old coworker on a cabbage diet. Omg she smelled, like it was coming out of her pores. She knew she smelled and kept apologizing and reminding us of the diet."
The OG Always
"Olive Garden. Unlimited soup and breadsticks."
"I saw a sketch once, can't remember who it 2qs from. But a an inmate ordered the all you can eat buffet and had been eating for like 8 years. He's constantly on the toilet and takes micro-naps between bites."
"Unlimited for 1 hour. Cool."
How GoldenGolden Girls Dorothy GIF by HULUGiphy
"If my grandma is still alive her potato soup and cheesecake. Hopefully I'd be able to cook said meal with her one last time."
Let's hope none of us has to make this decision.
Most people have friends they've been close to for most of their lives.
But at the same time, friends evolve, and everyone finds themselves losing touch with any number of people they at one point considered their friends over time.
Most of the time, this isn't intentional, but just simply happens.
On rare occasions though, people might realize that their friends were not exactly who they thought they were, and didn't like who they revealed themselves to be.
Redditor One-Refrigerator69 was curious to hear stories of people who realized their friends were not exactly the nicest people to be around, leading them to ask:
"When was the moment you realized that your friends are assholes?"
Compared to others...
"When I started hanging out with better people."- Darklink326
All it took was getting my life together
"When I quit drinking ‘cos it was killing me."
"There were people I literally saw every single day who just disappeared as if by magic."
"12 years ago this week, as it happens."
"I’m not anti-drink, far from it."
"Some people, me included, just can’t enjoy it without it becoming a problem."
"Everyone is different."- bigdaftgeordie
A little perspective goes a long way.
"After I realized that other people don't sh*t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."- ViscousPlatemanThe Simpsons GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Lack of respect for other people's things
"I let my friend borrow my ps2 when I went to boot camp."
"When I came back, he said he sold it and gave me $50 I think?"
"This was in 2006."- madmike-86
Lack of mutual respect
"When he does sh*t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, then I do the same back and he gets offended."- Primary-Maybe-2749·
Constantly being taken advantage of.
"They only bothered with me when it suited them."
"I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."- zombi33mjhappy eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy
When they literally revealed themselves to be criminals
"When they robbed me at gunpoint."- Ok_Student8032
When they stopped liking them after a change of situation
"Fourth grade, when my parents economical situation went downhill and suddenly no one invited me to their birthday party."
"Until Seven years later no one had never invited me to their birthday, or to anything at all actually."- Justalittletoserious
Not being able to get a word in...
"When they tell me to shut up when I say anything."- the_golden_cheesela respuesta GIF by Becky GGiphy
Violently playing with emotions
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions, telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc, and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly."
"One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bullsh*t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset."
"I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."- Juliemj
It's always sad when our friends disappoint us.
But when our friends proved to be completely different people than we thought they were, it can be devastating.
As the saying goes, one never truly knows who their friends are.
When visiting any foreign country, one should always be familiar with the laws and customs of the land.
After all, what might be generally accepted on your home turf, might be frowned upon, if not illegal, elsewhere.
For that matter, even locals might need a refresher course on what they can and can't do while at home.
A recent Redditor was curious to hear what tourists and locals alike should avoid doing in the USA, leading them to ask:
"In the United States, what should you never do?"
Stay out of the skies!
"Don't fly a drone in Washington, DC."
"The whole D.C. Area is a no fly zone."
"It's a federal offense."
"Just don't do it."- PeytonCarrK
Cops can't be bribed.
"Don't try to bribe cops when you get pulled over."
"I had some Argentinian friends immediately pull out their wallets and start pooling their cash when they got pulled over once.'
"Fortunately someone in the car noticed and told them to put it away immediately."- PeytonCarrK
"Don't pay off the police."
"My dad has friends from several third-world nations where it is common practice to give the police some cash when you are pulled over."
"However, if you try to bribe a police officer here, you'll get into a lot of trouble."- JohnASmiley
Know your rights.
"Everyone, including foreigners, has the right to be silent and have a lawyer when being questioned."
"Don’t say anything."
"Also, even if you speak English fairly well, ask for an interpreter."- WickedLilThing
Enjoy all that nature has to offer... carefully!
"Don't wander off in the national parks."
"It's very real wilderness and you can get lost and die out there."
"This includes going over railings you aren't supposed to, or off trails."
"People have died accidentally falling into a steam geyser that looked like normal water, mauled by animals or left to the elements."- AlphaOhmeganational parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphy
Allow plenty of time!
"Expect consistency at TSA in airports."- WickedLilThing
Some terminology doesn't translate...
"If you’re from England, they’re called cigarettes here."- Yung_Onions
Make sure your license is up to date.
"If you come from a walkable country don’t come here expecting the same."
"There are some areas with good public transportation and bicycle/pedestrian friendly streets but for the most part, especially outside of cities, the areas are designed to accommodate cars more than anything else."
"The reason a lot of Americans drive everywhere is because, depending on where you live, we have no choice."- The_Cars93Dog Driving GIFGiphy
Wait for instructions.
"Get out of your car and approach the cop when being stopped by a cop unless told to."- hildrash
Whether your'e waling down a street in a foreign country, or the street you've lived on for your entire life, it's always wise to be on guard and aware of your surroundings.
Not to mention, obey the law.