Ordep333When my middle child was 4, we got into a minor car accident. From the back seat she calmly asked if we had been in a car accident. When I confirmed she nodded knowingly and said
"When you've been in an accident dial 911, then call 411 for 1 800 411 PAIN. 411 PAIN, call 911 then call 411."
It was like watching a little robot recite a bit of programming she didn't know she had. That moment absolutely confirmed that those annoyingly repetitive commercials stick in your head.
One Reddit user asked:
What's the most annoying and repetitive commercial you've ever seen on TV?
And yeah, these people absolutely remember the companies - but it maybe didn't work out the way advertisers had hoped. Most people who responded seemed to have a strange lingering hatred for the company and a refusal to use them.
I certainly didn't call 411 PAIN.
Buried in the comments we found gold - a plot between two Reddit users (one of whom happens to live near the CEO of a hated company) so deliver a strongly worded letter about how much their jingles and commercials suck!
But Where Do I Apply?
Head on, apply directly to the forehead
Head on!
- Zubbs99
Apply directly to the forehead!
It was literally just wax they told you to rub on your forehead. It had no medical effect. The only way it was legal was they didn't actually specify what it did when you rubbed it on your forehead, just that you should. The original ads did say that it was for headaches, but the gov't shut that down.
No Effort From Empire
Not sure how "national" it was, but there's this carpeting company "Empire Today" that had this really annoying commercial.
it just went (singing) "Eight hundred, five eight eight, two three hundred, empire (voiceover):Today"
It was on all the time. I think that really annoyed me about it was that they didn't even try to come up with theme song, they just sang their phone number. It doesn't rhyme or anything. It's not even that memorable.
I had to google "annoying carpet commercial." But once I saw "Empire" I remembered the tune, not the exact number, but the melody.
And, if I need flooring done, I'm just googling "flooring companies near me".
- teke367
877 Cash When?
gordon ramsay fox GIF by MasterChef JuniorGiphyCall j g went worth 877 cash now!!!
🎶I have a structured settlement but I need cash nooooowwwwww🎶
IF YOU HAVE AN ANNUITY BUT YOU NEED CASH NOOOOOOW
My dad had a structured settlement that paid 15k a year til death. When he was about 55 years old he called jg Wentworth just out of curiosity. They offered him 30k.....
He did eventually settle with the employer a few years later for a lump sum of about 250k.
Jake
Why the f*ck is Jake from State Farm relevant again? That commercial was like 10 years ago and now he's the face of the company like hes some dude that I'm supposed to trust.
- MLWcaleb
Jake ruined a marriage. I want nothing to do with that home wrecker.
- CaptainMcAnus
"That F*cking Limu"
Liberty Mutual Insurance's "LiMu Emu" commercials. I will never use that insurance company specifically because these commercials are so bad.
I swear 2/3 of the YouTube ads I see are about that f*cking limu. I WILL NEVER USE LIBERTY MUTUAL BECAUSE I'M SO F*CKING SICK OF THOSE ADS.
/rant
I have to agree! LiMu Emu is the WORST!
- Chooky54
Late Night Earworm
I don't know if I'd call it annoying, but the Education Connection song from ~10 years ago is a hell of an earworm.
Always. Always at like 1:30AM, every night, every Adult Swim commercial break. Drove me insane then but it's kind of a nice nostalgia boost now though.
That ad drove my Mom nuts when she watched That 70's Show late at night on The N/Teen Nick. I saw it a lot during Degrassi, too.
- lady-ki
OMG you are truly EVIL! I couldn't even get thru that commercial because I was almost instantly annoyed!
Grow Up
baby do not want GIFGiphyAttention parents and grandparents of young children, Gerber life is accepting applications for the affordable grow up plan. The grow up plan gives your child 10,000 dollars in whole life insurance protection now, then doubles automatically to 20,000 dollars later at no extra cost, start now for just pennies a day
I just had PTSD reading this.
Honestly, those ads freaked me the f*ck out. Who insures a baby? (Cue intro to a show on Investigation Discovery.)
The Pink Stuff
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea~
Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea~
sing that in a western accent.
Every time I see this commercial, I think, "somewhere out there is a guy who is so excited to tell his family that he got his 'big break' and called his grandma to tell her he is the 'diarrhea guy!'"
Service Unavailable
I randomly have the 'Stanley Steemer's commercial jingles pop up in my head. I don't even have one in my country >:/
F*ck you Stanley Steemer.
LOOL Im the CEO's neighbor he has a Stanley Steemer van in his driveway right now!
Do you mind dropping an envelope with some of my opinions about his goddamn jingle into his mailbox?
Sure, Ill stick one through the open window of the van too.
Awesome, I finally get to vent my built-up decade-long hate for the Stanley Steamer jingle.
You have no idea how liberating this is for me and all those who had to endure the jingle and never have their carpets thoroughly cleaned.
This is actually very cathartic.
Ahem
Dear Mr. "Stanley Steemer", This will be the last package I ever send your @ss. I can't believe you've done this. I used to hear your jingle from all the way in Canada and it filled me with hope, wonder and anticipation. There's no denying the jingle is a masterpiece the likes of Mozart or Bach, but let's not pretend like weaponizing it on unsuspecting viewers who cannot ever have their carpet steemed isn't a war crime.
I wondered how I could have my carpets cleaned at a young age, and in each stage of my life there was that jingle "Stanley Steemer, your certified cleaner". I honestly have no f*cking idea what that even means, even today as a man. What are you certified for? Soap and water? Is it a ruse? Are you guys even insured!? A line so vague it could mean anything, but alas it had a catchy tune.
Life went on, yet there it was. Staring me in the face like a piping hot, steaming - "Stanley Steemer makes your home cleaner!". Firstly, wow. The skill involved in creating such a simple yet effective rhyme, could move Beethoven to tears... If he wasn't deaf. I digress, I think it's time we put this all to rest. For the love of God, take down the commercial. For the sanity or those who happen to have a channel package which for some reason features local commercials and have lifelong PTSD and have spent years in therapy trying to forget. From one Stan to another, take it down. I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose.
Sincerely yours, Stan
P.S. we should be together too
The Opposite Of Feel-Good TV
No one will know this. There was a commercial for Kinder Family here in germany. Kinder are the guys who make the surprise eggs.
It was supposed to be these short 15 second skits that rotate every week or so. You could watch them online even.
I have not seen anything that was as unfunny as that before or since. It was like everytime you watch one you cringed so hard it would hurt. I felt awful after watching each and every one of them.
Double Shot Of Jersey Shore
My family watches a lot of Ridiculousness, and MTV is going back through their Jersey Shore cast catalog and making shows with Pauly D and Vinny again. The Double Shot of Love commercials are full of "yeah buddy" and "yas".
So those.
Lelly Kelly
You definitely won't remember this if you weren't English and born in the 2000's. But if you were, then Llelly Kelly's were ingrained into your mind because whenever you watched Cartoon Network or Disney channel they were there.
Lelly Kelly's, the coolest shoes, lelly Kelly's they are so cool, oh wow
So Loud
Mesothelioma.
I know it's important. I also know commercials are louder because people tend to walk away, but god damn. You play that thing so much I feel like I got the disease!
- Scoobity
A Quest For Silence
Never actually 'seen' it, but certainly heard it more times than anyone should have.
"What am I doing tonight? I'm calling Quest!"
Like Holy Hand grenades I don't give a sh*t what you do or who you call, lady. If I hear you advertise your stupid phone sex line one more time I swear to god I will literally implode.
I work as a security guard in a hospital over night, and spend 8 hours a day just outside a patients room. He leaves the T.V. on all night and I swear there are only 2 commercials that run on whatever shitty tv network he watches.
We would love silence but instead we get a TV blasting about the phone sex hotline ... and some stupid lady saying "They are some of the hottest videos on the internet, those videos showing you how to get rid of those bags under your eyes..."
It's the Quest phone sex one that I hate the most though.
Sorry, Shirley
Risa GIF by memecandyGiphyFrom Baby Take-A-Bow, to Curlytop and Heidi, America's favorite little darling Shirley Temple has been entertaining us for generations. And now through this exclusive TV offer, you can experience the most comprehensive DVD collection of one of the brightest stars in film history, but you haven't seen Shirley until you've seen her brilliantly restored in black & white, and in color! Presenting the Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD Collection! Eighteen timeless films, packed with hours of her unforgettable singing, spectacular dancing, and pure wholesome fun the entire family will enjoy together! These classic Shirley Temple films have stood the test of time, and you'll cherish sharing these heartwarming adventures again and again with your family and friends! Bring home the magic of Shirley Temple, with the new Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD Collection! 18 classic family films, beautifully restored in black & white and in color for just two payments of $24.99! Call now and receive this collectible photo of Shirley Temple, absolutely free with your paid order! This collection is not sold in stores and only available through this exclusive TV offer! If these priceless movies could lift a nation during the worst of times, Imagine what they could do for you and your family today! Tales of innocence, friendship, courage, hope, and love! and now you can enjoy the original black & white movies, and the beautifully restored color versions, all in one amazing DVD collection, at the most incredible price! These films have been digitally restored and remastered to preserve their integrity and quality! This is a limited time offer, so don't miss your opportunity to own the most complete Shirley Temple DVD collection ever! Call now to order your special edition Shirley Temple Little Darling DVD Collection! 18 classic films in black & white and in color, plus this Shirley Temple collectible photo, all for just two payments of $24.99 plus 5.99 shipping and handling! This offer is not sold in stores so call now! Rush delivery available.
- Ordep333
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- People Share The Best Black And White Movies They've Ever Seen - George Takei ›
- People Explain Which Commercials They'll Never Forget - George Takei ›
When giving a speech and making an argument, the most effective way to reach other people or get your point across is to speak with conviction.
However, speaking with conviction doesn't always mean people are speaking the truth... or even coherently.
Redditor MonkeyGentleman420 was curious to hear more stories of ludicrous things people said with unwavering conviction, leading them to ask:
"What is the stupidest thing someone has told you with complete conviction?"
We Know How Often Birds Check Clocks...
'That we set the clocks forwards and backwards so the birds don’t get confused with their migration patterns."- alliecita410
Speaking From Experience?
"'Two people can breathe underwater forever if they have a hose'."
"The first person breathes in while the second breathes out, then the first person breathes out and the second person breathes in etc'."- PahoojyMan
Dream On...
"She said:'
"'If you are dream about falling and you hit the ground in your sleep you'll actually die'."
"'It's been proven'."
"I said 'If you die in your sleep, how can anyone know what you were dreaming?'"
"Ruined a favorite story of hers."
"Sorry."- FrankieMint
falling GIFGiphyBecause ALL Cops Ask For Your SSN Before Cuffing You...
"From a coworker: 'If you don't have a social security number then the government can't do anything to you'."
"I asked if that meant, if I didn't have an SSN then I could just go kill someone on the street and the government couldn't arrest me."
"'Yep', he said, 'if you don't have an SSN then they can't enforce any laws on you'."- AllAboutThePotatoes
Keep Them Away From Needles...
"A former coworker insisted that the body believes the ears are injuries, and we are all constantly trying to heal our own ears closed."
"The only thing keeping them open, you ask?"
"Ear wax."
"We worked in healthcare."- Reflection_Secure
Credit To the Visual Effects Designer
"A girl I worked with was convinced that every single mythological creature was real."
"I’ll never forget one of her claims."
“Think about it, every movie you done seen all those creatures and aliens and sh*t, all that’s real."
"Someone has to have actually seen it to come up with that!”
"Apparently there’s no such thing as the human imagination to her."
"So yes, transformers are real, Godzilla is real, Independence Day is real."
"This was a 20-year-old that said all of this."- Dragonborn83196
Unicorn GIF by MOODMANGiphyIn Theory... Still Wrong!
"That the speed of light wasn’t like an actual number, it was just a figure of speech."- sunbearimon·
Check The Date...
"Sunburn is not caused by the sun, it is actually caused by sunblock."
"If you don't use sunblock then you will never be burned."
"Sunburn was created by the sun cream industry to sell their products."
"Seems easily testable, why not lie on the beach all day in one position with no sun block and see what happens?"
"Make sure you fall asleep for maximum effect."
"You go bright red and then blister to the point that you get taken to hospital for a combination of sunstroke and the beginning of shock then spend the rest of the holiday indoors face down with regular application of creams and replacement paraffin patches on the burns."
"It puts a bit of a dampener on your 2 week break."
"Sunburn is mentioned in Livy's history of the second Punic war and others over 2000 years ago which is solid proof that the 'Big Sunscreen' claim is ridiculous."
"However it would be hand-waved away by a True Believer of big Sunscreen."- Magnus_40
Sonne Sunburn GIF by Mitteldeutscher RundfunkGiphyIgnorance Is Not Always Bliss...
"A distant relative, recently retired, once told me that he was going to hire a gardener and a housekeeper because 'the government will give you a grant to pay for them now'."
"This was a few minutes after a lengthy rant about how the welfare state should be scrapped because only lazy people lose their jobs and need to claim benefits."
"The same relative, some years ago, also announced with absolute conviction that he was going to hire a neighbor as a cleaner because 'she won't have anything to do now her kids are grown up'."- Plantagenesta
The Price Of Never Looking Up!
"Pineapples aren't real."
"They're entirely manmade and do not exist in nature."- tricksterloki
ALWAYS CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR!!!
"My dad was experiencing end stage renal failure (was on dialysis at the time and has since had a transplant)."
"My best friend's boyfriend at the time looked at me dead in the eye and said he could reverse his condition with a vegan diet and that the only important organ in the body was the skin, so as long as you take good care of your skin, your other organs will function properly."
"Mind you, by the time my dad got on dialysis his kidneys were functioning at 11% and his SKIN WAS JUST FINE."- lyingintheleaves
But What Causes Cavities?
"I'm a dental hygienist."
"We had a patient come in with terrible teeth."
"They thought toothpaste caused cancer."- dilapidatedfungus
If Only...
"That women don't burp or fart, because only men have (the ability to pass) gas."
"Spoiler alert: he was horrified when I burped in front of him."- sequoia_summers
Guilt Is Easier When You Know It's Coming.
"First girlfriend was religious, and apparently it was okay that we had sex 'as long as she feels bad about it after'."
"Pre-planning regret was her loophole to do what she wanted."- Lone_Buck
season 2 famalam GIF by BBC ThreeGiphyWhen people do speak with conviction, more often than not they firmly believed what they say.
So much so, that they have trouble believing the person brave enough to correct them.
In spite of the concrete evidence thrown in front of them...
When you're in a relationship, it's important to stay alert.
Yes, you of course want to give in to love.
But when you start seeing red flags, be vigilant.
You're gut always knows more than you give it credit for.
Sometimes those flags are a sign that it's time to jump ship.
if you see them... run.
Redditor Shinfekta wanted to compare notes on why people would immediately end a relationship, so they asked:
"What red flag is an instant break up reason for you?"
The signs are always there, but I tend to put on blinders.
I need to do better.
A Big Deal
Illustration Text GIF by Jacqueline Jing LinGiphy"Someone that casually says they've cheated. There's no way around that for me."
Kitchen-Bid-8235
"Or worse when they treat cheating as somehow noble."
2diceMisplaced
Hear Me!
"Wanting and demanding my attention but not reciprocating whatsoever."
Cranky_Windlass
"My ex. She would get pissed when she would talk to me about something while I was working and I wasn’t giving her my full attention. But every time I wanted to tell her something while she was doing nothing, she would get 'ADHD distracted' and completely ignore me or interrupt me to say something completely irrelevant."
ModestMustang
"I had a friend like this! he literally completely ignored me for 6 months and then blew up at me for not responding to him within an hour. Very strange."
KindBrilliant7879
Wronged
"Never admitting a mistake."
Curious-Force5819
"I know a total hottie that is notoriously known for not being able to admit he’s wrong, sucks because he’s a gem outside of this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fair and responsible person in general… but he 100% can’t admit he was wrong in banter or a light argument even when he realizes he realizes he’s wrong hahaha lost confidence in him ASAP."
Zomgirlxoxo
"This is a big one, even when these types of people apologize they still pass the blame. 'I'm sorry for my behavior but you made me really angry.'"
space_being135513
Never Again
"Unmanaged mental illness. Never again."
RuggedHamster
"I was with a girl that had that and I helped her through all of it and it was so hard to deal with it all but somehow I managed but when she felt better she just left me for her best friend’s ex and I was left with all that trauma because I loved her with all my heart and soul but she was just using me to feel better… and when she broke up with her best friend’s ex she came crawling back begging me to be with her again but it was too late.. the damage has already been done and I can’t do that again even though I still love her but I can’t tell her that... sorry for venting."
d7oomy998899
Afterthought
Sad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"If someone makes you feel alone, that you don't matter, or if you are a second choice on most of the occasions, you need to leave."
Mycatsnameislegolas
Always know when to acknowledge your feelings.
And know when to depart.
Behavior
Andre Leon Talley Manners GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy"How they treat animals, children, elderly, handicapped, and service workers."
"A wise man once said: judge a person not by how they treat their equals, but by how they treat their inferiors."
Major-Ad148
Just Kidding
"Being mean as their 'thing' or 'just a joke.'"
netsbr
"'I'm just sassy!'" No, you're a bi*ch."
BansheeShriek
"I’m going to be honest, with certain friends I am absolutely ruthlessly mean, to the point that people are actually concerned it’s just bullying."
"However with strangers, I’m nothing like that. And the friends that I am meant to, they do the exact same thing back to me. We also know that if we need each other, then the meanness is dropped instantly, and it’s nothing but support and love."
5tr4nGe
Well-Meaning
"Zero accountability for anything. Everything they do is absolutely justifiable because, well, they mean well."
Throw_thethrowaway
"Yeah, I was looking for this answer! And it’s true outside of romantic relationships also! I had to end a friendship over this exact behavior- it was never her fault, always the victim, and her hurtful behavior shouldn’t be addressed because she 'meant well…' but my feelings are still hurt so why don’t I matter?!"
helibear90
"This. Can't stand people who always play the victim or blame everyone else and never take accountability for what they do."
_5minutesalone
Boundaries
"This one may take a while, but I would break up if I notice them creeping over personal boundaries, and not stopping when I tell them about it."
"People cross each others' boundaries all the time. I'm happy to give the benefit of the doubt until it becomes apparent that they have no intention to respect me."
"For example, if I don't like tickles or being startled, don't do that. It's not about the tickling, it's about them respecting me. And if there's no respect, there's no relationship."
Ptatofrenchfry
Talk to Me
Sarah Jessica Parker Hbo GIF by DivorceGiphy"If I'm hearing about a problem in our relationship from someone else rather than the partner. It shows huge trust issues."
"I've seen three divorces in my life, and they all were the result of the girl venting to her mother and her friends about issues she should have discussed with her husband."
michajlo
Communication is key.
If you're not talking to you're partner, why are they you're partner?
Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked:
"What is the weirdest animal fact you know?"
Like Perry
"Platypus glow blueish green under ultraviolet light."
"They also don’t have nipples, they just exude milk from glands under the skin and the baby’s lap it up."
~ WakingOwl1
"They have electrolocation in their bills that lets them detect their food under water."
~ DrPlatypus1
"And they lay eggs."
"The more I find out about them the more I understand why people first thought they were fake."
~ Reidroshdy
"After seeing all these platypus facts I am convinced these things are aliens that have been abandoned on Earth."
~ SeattleOne206
Kapow!
"Mantis Shrimp have 16 different sets of cones. Rods and cones are in your eyes. Cones see color, rods see light and motion."
"Dogs have 2 sets of cones—green and blue. Humans have 3 sets of cones—green, blue and red."
"Mantis Shrimp are seeing colors we can't comprehend and explains why they're very colorful."
"That’s not even the strangest thing about them."
"They can also punch as fast as a .22 bullet which cause a cavitation bubble which boils the water around them at temperatures of several thousand Kelvins."
~ RigzDigz
GiphyTerrible Twos
"Cats have the mental capacity of a 2-year-old which makes a lot of sense."
~ Alive_Ad823
Cats Dragging GIFGiphyLike Tinder
"When a female sloth wants a mate she'll hang onto a tree branch and just scream."
~ Remarkable_Sink2542
GiphyGood Thing They're So Small
"Dragonflies are the most successful predators on Earth."
"When lions choose prey they have like a 10% chance of catching it."
"African painted dogs—who hunt in packs—have the highest kill rate of any mammal, successfully catching 51% of their prey."
"When a dragonfly locks onto a target, it has a 99.9% success rate!"
~ PurpleInevitable2103
GiphyOn A Swivel
"Owls have really long necks, but it's hard to notice that because their feathers are so fluffy."
~ ergonaut
GiphyWhat About Cousin It?
"Sea otters are the most densely furred animal with 600,000 to 1,000,000 hair follicles per square inch."
"Dogs have about 15,000 per square inch, humans on average are between 800 to 1,290 hairs per square inch."
~ atom1129
Giphy
Sucker Punchers
"Octopus punch other fish for no reason—so, for fun."
~ Samanthalynn8915
"There's a direct correlation between species' intelligence and dickish behavior."
~ TheDesktopNinja
Looks Are Deceiving
"Polar bear fur isn't white—it's translucent (for most frequencies of light). And they have black skin underneath."
"So polar bear fur lets all the light through to their black skin to warm them—except for a few visible frequencies to keep them camouflaged as white."
~ seedanrun
GiphyWho's Going To Attack One‽‽
"Honey badgers can turn their a**holes inside out and use the smell to deter attackers."
"Not sure what exactly has the guts to attack a honey badger, but if they have the courage to do so, the badger sure as hell isn’t gonna make it easy."
~ nonexistantauthor
GiphyBig Momma
"The Blanket Octopus exhibits the highest degree of sexual dimorphism known."
"Females: About 6 feet across."
"Males: About one inch."
~ Fabulous-Pause4154
High Times
"Dolphins will intentionally use puffer fish to get high."
~ altkaldra
"They upset blowfish so they inflate, and therefore emit poison. It gets the dolphins high. Then they pass it around, literally."
~ smack4u
"Not just the dolphins. I recently saw a video about 10 animals that like to get high. Very interesting."
~ s137leo__
"Lemurs do that with giant centipedes/millipedes too."
~ chubbyknuckles420
Fabrizio Frigeni on Unsplash
Better Than Bike Helmets
"Woodpeckers' tongues wrap around their brains to cushion them from the vibrations of slamming their face into trees all day."
~ we_made_yewww
"Their tongues also have barbs to grab bugs out of the holes."
"Their brains have additional cushioning because, you know, they spend their days smashing their face as hard as possible into trees."
~ RhynoD
Detachable Organs
"Argonauts [paper nautili] are small octopuses that are too lazy to have intercourse."
"They detach their penises and toss them into the open sea to mate with female argonauts."
"The detachable 'd*ck' is a tiny tentacle, complete with suckers and sperm, that develops in a cavity under the eye of a male argonaut [paper nautilus]."
"When it's time to mate, the tentacle explodes out of the cavity, instantly killing the male argonaut. The tentacle then swims towards a female argonaut to insert itself."
"Sexy, huh?"
~ Schwarzes__Loch
What's your favorite weird animal fact?