Kids say the darndest things. We often see children as invisible when they are around adults; that is a very big mistake to make. Children are listening, and they are learning. They will often repeat what they here and have it manifest into quite the personality. They are far wiser than we give them credit for, which is why they drive parents so insane half the time. Many old souls are living in tiny, young bodies and they comprehend and feel and relate far more than we can imagine.
Redditor u/CaesarTheLion wanted everyone to discuss the actions of children, they are the future by asking.... What's the most adult thing you've ever seen a child do?good job baby, shhhhh I'm watching tv."
I was the laziest babysitter for my 2 years old sister at the time.
She would grab scissors, medicine bottles or forks, then calls me to look at her, she'll be like:"hey you! Look here! I'm grabbing something dangerous!" And I would go:"good job baby, shhhhh I'm watching tv."
Then she will return the item with a disappointing look on her face, and continues playing with her legos.
Now she's 5, she makes herself green tea every day and drinks it while sitting on the bed and staring at the window... sorry mom. Tirquaz
Love that kid!
Today I was bummed that my leaf blower quit working. I went to put it in the trash can. My 11 yr old heard me talking about it, went and got it, took it apart, fixed it, and brought it back to me. He's never fixed anything like that before. Love that kid! taco_the_turtle
Babies... Hard....
So my daughter was five when I had my son. I can't remember exactly what she was asking me to do but I had forgotten or couldn't get to it or something. Mostly I remember her saying "it's ok mom. I know babies are hard" and she just melted my heart in that moment. EmotionalOven4
The baby was me.
My little nephew and niece were having a serious discussion about what should be done about "the baby," this morning. My nephew wanted my niece to put the baby in her bed so that it could continue sleeping there. My niece argued instead that the baby was better off on the couch where both "parents" could keep an eye on it.
The baby was me. I crashed on the couch and they came downstairs very early in the morning and I guess they started playing pretend that I was their baby. They then tried to cram ice cream down my throat as I pretended to sleep, because I'd been a "good baby." Friendly5GLizardJew
The Burn.
My 4 yo caught me absent mindedly scratching at my sunburn today and lectured me saying I'd made it sore and to leave it alone. VioletDawn9
When you're 8 year old daughter.....
I was in my local corner shop buying some snacks. 2 middle aged women walk in with a young child, probably 8 years old. The 2 women are in a full on argument, screaming at each other in the middle of this small shop. I just ignored them and went about my business. After a minute or two the young girl says "mum, be quiet! You're embarrassing yourself!"
When you're 8 year old daughter has more comment sense and better manners than you, you know you've gone very wrong somewhere in your life. AvidCoco
Being Third....
One time at Target, I overheard a mother and her son speaking. She was asking if they could buy something, and this kid says "no mom, we just cleaned the car, we don't need any more junk laying around." Mom says "pleeeeeaaaase?" in a whiny voice, and he says no again.
I was pretty shocked by their conversation, I remember there was more but clearly she was the child in that relationship and that kid (couldn't have been older than 10) was parenting her. At one point I saw her speedwalk out of an aisle with something in her hands and a mischievous grin.
To this day, I think about that kid and wonder how he's doing. They were clearly experiencing hard times and it breaks my heart that he had to be such a grown up. venti-depresso
They said no.
My son went to the store with my parents and saw a few toys he wanted. They said no. He was ok with that and the next day he asked them if he could do work to earn money and they said yes. For a week my son did work for my parents all day to earn money to buy a toy he wanted.
He saved his money and when he went with them to the store he brought his money and even tho he wanted this big LEGO set he saw a smaller one that it'd be over his budget to buy both so he ended up buying two small LEGO sets he really wanted and saved the rest till he could work off the difference so he can get the big one. He's only 6 and understands the concept of money and that nothing comes for free and that you have to work if you want something. TrystenConn
Last Rites.
My 14 year old brother was involved in providing fire to my father's pyre in the last rites. The sincerity with which he maintained himself throughout the whole thing and other long rituals, made my heart break in all sorts of ways. queerf37
15 and in Charge....
I don't know if he counts, he was 15 and was left in charge of her sister while their mother was working, the girl was riding her bike but some how her foot got stuck in the chain and she was wearing strappy sandals, he reacted quickly and grab her and brought her to the clinic i was working, I've seen people in their 30 and 40 freeze in this situations but he didn't. JessVakarian
Beware the Burn.
I work as a waitress near the beach, and i always get sunburn at the start of the season when i forget my sunscreen or something like it in the chaos of the shifts. This little girl comes up to me to tell me "miss, you are burning and you need to put on sunscreen" and handed me her 50spf kids sunscreen. I don't know if her parents maybe said something to each other about me or she was just really bright and caring. Your-goldfish
Not so Motherly.
To put it simply, my niece's mom is an absolute piece of crap. my niece is 8 and her mom has been in and out the entire time. my niece hasn't seen her in over a year. she constantly looks forward to next time she will see her even though her mom disappoints her every single time.
So this past mother's day instead of being depressed about not seeing her mom, she and her friend (who i think also has mom issues) decided that each month they would pick a woman in their life to look up to. my niece has a ton of women in her life and it was just really amazing to see her begin to accept that she will never have a genuine relationship with her mother. she's always been way too darn intelligent for her age. ma1645300
I saw a kid, maybe 5....
I saw a kid, maybe 5, walk into the grocery store saying in total seriousness, "ok, so the deal is we're just going to grab what we need and leave, right? Because I don't want to be here longer than I have to." His parents replied, "yes that's right." And he was like, "ok good, because I didn't want to come shopping in the first place." That child had the soul of a grumpy old man and I loved it. Hereatrandom
The Translator.
It's not uncommon to have kids perform as translator when with parents, who don't speak much English, come into our clinic. One young boy stuck out, though, because he was so earnest. He was about 6 or 7, translating medical information as best he could.
He was learning as he went, asking very good questions so he could understand and relay the information well to his mother. I was so impressed with his politeness and patience, as well as his intelligence. After they left, he ran back in just to say "I forgot to say thank you for your help!" That is a kid I would hire in a heartbeat down the road. squishistheword
I started going into anaphylactic shock....
When I was 4 years old, I started going into anaphylactic shock from eating something I was allergic to. We were walking outside, but I was drooling and spitting and slowing down. My dad was with us at the time, but he's never taken my allergies seriously and continued walking - didn't even notice I was lagging behind.
My brother, 8 years old at the time, was the one who noticed. He convinced my dad (yes, he had to convince him) to get us back to grab the epipen (which my dad purposefully left behind to prove a point to my mom). An eight year old kid looked out for me better than a full grown adult could. claidai
All the World.
Come home from school, grab a pop from the fridge, and sit down in a recliner and sigh like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Trip_The_3rd
The Kitchen Table.
When my mom was dying. I was rushing around packing a bag to be at the hospital with her. My daughter caught on to my frantic energy and calmly helped me remember everything I needed. Then when I was going to pick her up from my FIL's house, I got a call from the hospital that they were putting my mom on a vent. I got to my FIL's house and just sobbed and screamed at their kitchen table.
She sat across from me (she was 9 at the time, 16 now) and calmly told me she loved me and that I would be okay. She hugged me. I was told that after I got myself together and left, she let herself have her own breakdown.
I often tell myself that I don't deserve my daughter. I must have done some great in a past life to be blessed with a kid like her. m_rowland
Be Better.
I have friends that are married with 2 kids. They both smoke. By the age their son (oldest) was 4 he knew it was bad to smoke. He would find their cigarettes and throw them away. As he got older, he realized that they could just take them out of the garbage.
So he started breaking them and running them underwater before throwing them away. They would get annoyed but never mad at him. He would say, "I love you and I don't want you to die!" So they just tried to hide their cigarettes better. Wolf_of_Seattle
I know Dad.
My son Ethan. My wife's mom passed when he was only a year old, but in the span of about 4 years, (ages 6-10), he lost the rest of his remaining grandparents.
After my mom passed away, (his last remaining grandparent), I waited a few hours before I told my children. I'm sure that they knew because I was home and had not been home in three days, but I waited anyway.
A few hours later I was walking by his room and could hear him crying so I went in there to talk to him. I made sure that he understood that she wasn't in pain anymore, and that she wouldn't suffer from cancer ever again.
I'll never forget the look on his face when he said "I know that, dad. It still hurts. It just feels like every time someone dies, a part of me is ripped away".
There's nothing you can say to that. Reddit
The Cleaner.
My son, he spilled something, sighed deeply with his brows furrowed and said "this is some bullcrap. But I'm gonna clean it up anyways." TinyTinasRabidOtter
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
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It's another ordinary day in America.
So of course that means we've already had a mass shooting or two before brunch.
And aside from the mass shootings, the number of single gunshot wounds or deaths is too high to count.
So let's discuss the aftermath.
Let's hear from the people who have faced the barrel of a loaded gun, or were just a casualty going about their day.
What happens after the bullet lands?
***CAUTION - SENSITIVE MATERIAL AHEAD - TRIGGER WARNING***
Redditor notaninterestingacc wanted to hear from the people who have lived the nightmare. They asked:
"Gunshot survivors of Reddit - What does it feel like to get shot?"
Guns are not a joke. Please educate yourself before you purchase.
Then the pin hit...
"I took a 7.62 to the stomach in Afghanistan. Felt like somebody had smacked with like, I dunno, a flyswatter or something. A short sharp smack. Didn’t feel much until I tried to come out of cover and I just... couldn’t. Couldn’t make my body listen to me. Then the pain hit. I’d put it at like, I dunno, an 11/10. Bullet blew off half my liver."
eyeCinfinitee
Thank you EMS...
"Chest, .357 magnum, through sternum, lung, ricochet off of rib, through scapula. Still have half under my shouldblade. Felt like I was stabbed in the chest with a hot fire poker mounted to the bottom of someone's foot when they drop kicked me. Was not expected to survive (severe blood loss), of course. Very good EMS team kept the liquids where they were supposed to and great doctors and nurses kept me going."
mndyerf**kinbusiness
Knocked Back
"I didn't really feel either of mine until about 10 minutes later. Took a grazing shot off my left arm and one in the right hip that went out my back thankfully missing my kidney. The arm felt like a bee sting the hip knocked me back a step the adrenalin at the time masked the pain."
richwith9
The Masked Men
"I was shot during a home robbery. I’m probably one of The luckiest people alive. The bullet no joke scratched my cheek and then went through the top of my ear and also a bullet grazed my wrist and opened it up. I didn’t feel anything but just liquid running down my face and my wrist was burning."
"Scariest night of my life and RIP Christian. Miss you so much buddy. Here is proof. We... https://www.chron.com/neighborhood/katy/crime-courts/article/Man-charged-in-attempted-burglary-apartment-6236325.php Authorities said Burke and Brandon Fries, 21, fought the suspects for their guns, which were fired during the struggle."
"The two masked men fled, and investigators initially did not have any information about which direction they went or whether they escaped from the scene by car. Both Burke and Fries had been shot and were transported to Hermann Memorial Hospital in Katy. Burke was pronounced dead upon arrival at the emergency room, less than four miles away.”
Brandonfries28
Like a Rock
"I got shot in the ankle when I was 10. Honestly I thought a rock hit me. Just a slight stinging feeling. Didn't really hurt, I even kept running with my bike. Later at the hospital was a different story. The doctor tried to remove the bullet without putting me under."
"He said the pain medicine would make me forget everything. He gave up after a few minutes of hell. And, whatever he gave me didn't work as described, but it did oddly make everyone look purple from what I remember. So maybe it half worked? lol."
adamchilders
People really? How in the world do y'all get firearms?
Fleshed Off...
"Right thigh, 9mm, grazing shot across the front of the leg about 4 inches above the knee. It plowed a channel of skin and some flesh off the front. It felt searing hot like someone had laid a hot piece of metal on my leg for a second. Then, the pain went away for a while until the adrenaline wore off. It honestly hurt worse 6 hours later than it did when it happened."
morgen_benner
A slight pinch...
"I was randomly shot while walking down the street with my girlfriend in 2013. I didn't fall to the ground or anything like that. Walked into a store and told them to call the cops. It didn't hurt too bad at first. A slight pinch. The heat builds up and the pain comes in. Some throbbing as the blood pumps out. I was extremely lucky as the bullet lodged between my lower right ribs in the back just above my kidney."
"The aftermath was a really achey back. What I remember most was how everyone around me except for my girlfriend just walked around us like nothing happened. I was suffering and potentially dying and everyone just ignored it. 'Not my problem' I suppose. I lost a lot of faith in people that day."
SoggyPastaPants
Not the Head
"I accidentally discharged my 9 and I was hit in the head. While it was going on I honestly did not feel any pain but everything slowed way down. Healing and recooperating was the hardest. My mouth and jaw was wired shut for several months. Had to have complete facial reconstruction surgery."
"Had to take a piece of bone from my skull and graph it to my nose just so I could have a nose. I also had to have a feeding tube for almost a whole year. I've recovered fully and I'm very lucky. I remember mostly everything. Something's from the incident I don't remember, but for the most part, I have my memories in tact."
No-Kick1632
It Burns...
"My gf was shot, not me, but she said it felt hot and like impact but not particularly painful until much later. She was in shock and went to the hospital, after hours she said it started to hurt."
DntShadowBanMeDaddy
"This was my response too. It feels incredibly hot. It's like getting hit with a bee that's on fire. It burns like hell. But then, and only later, does is f**king hurt. The part two is that you might think you understand pressure, but get shot. It doesn't just hurt, it mashes into you."
trebuchetfight
Ricochet
"A good friend of mine got hit with a ricochet from a 9mm that hit his calf, there was drive by about a block down. He was outside of the bar smoking a cig when it happened, ran inside and felt his leg burning but decided to keep drinking. He had about 3 more drinks before someone mentioned he was bleeding… went to the ER absolutely hammered and was fine after surgery."
PM_Me_UrRightNipple
Please stay sober when handling a weapon. Please be careful in general.
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It's never attractive to gloat.
Nor does superiority ever come off as a particularly attractive attribute.
But, consciously or not, some people speak or behave in a way that immediately suggests that they think they deserve to be treated differently, i.e better than others.
Or that they believe they simply are better than other people.
A recent Redditor was curious what sort of behavior struck other people as elitist or arrogant behavior by asking:
"What screams "I am entitled"?"
Where's the fire?
"Impatience in situations where it should be just universally understood that you need patience".- c7hu1hu.
Positions of power.
"I will have you fired!"- Vergo27.
"Generally just leaving something for someone else to deal with."- Splatty_boi_420.
Sorry, but I was here first.
"People who cut in line."- Chad_Farthousse.
"People who ignore lines and cut in the front, like their time is more important than every other person patiently queueing."- ofsquire.
No one loves a tattletale.
“I’ll call my dad and tell him what you did!”- ROAM300.
Ever heard of quid pro quo?
"When they do something to you and think it’s fine but when you do it in return and they freak out."- Silvero129.
Name your price.
"I work as a ticket seller for a ski resort."
"My favorite entitled person is the guy who, upon finding out that the kid's ski lesson was sold out, offered to pay extra if I would kick someone else's kid out so his kid could have a spot."- Floranagirl.
Perhaps one of the most obvious ways to unwittingly show off your entitlement?
By being oblivious to how entitled you are.
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There's something about the woods that creeps me out. Listen here, people: I'm a city guy. The idea of getting lost out there freaks me out. No thank you. I wasn't made for that. The rest of you who like to go camping and stuff? You do you. I'll stick with my running water.
But maybe I've seen too many horror movies. After all, if I saw some creepy stuff in the woods I'd definitely run in the other direction. And so would you, right? Right?
People shared their best stories with us after Redditor shantics asked the online community,
"What have you seen in the woods that you can’t explain?"
"I stepped on what I thought was a small rock but it turned out to be weird and gelatinous. I've also seen tombstones in the woods."
his_eminence56
You just suprised it. Rocks are soft and squishy, they just tense up when you touch them! /s
"I was hiking through the remnants..."
"I was hiking through the remnants of a remote, long-abandoned town and the surrounding area. To get to as far into the woods as I was, you had to cross fallen trees over a creek three times. I had just crossed the third "bridge" and was about five miles in and something blue caught my eye just ahead of me."
"There was a man, in his sixties at least, wearing blue satin pajamas, sitting in a tree. The closer I got to him the louder he laughed; it wasn't a maniacal laugh, but it set off all the alarms in my head nevertheless. He also wasn't wearing any shoes and looked well-groomed/cleaned."
"I gave him a friendly nod as I passed and he just kept laughing. Then it stopped. I turned and he was gone. There was no branch cracking, plants rustling, nothing... He was just gone."
"Still rubs me the wrong way. The area I was in was a pretty rough hike, very secluded. Not very many people venture as deep as I was that day. No idea what was going on there."
mrwitch
“Over the Third Bridge” would be a great title for a spooky book or movie.
"Neat as a pin..."
"Fully decorated Xmas tree. Middle of summer. Neat as a pin it was, as if it had just been finished. Who ever did it came back at some point and cleaned it up, because it wasn't there next I did that trail a week or so later."
OldWomanintheWoods
This one’s not that uncommon actually. Lots of folks will decorate a tree in remembrance of someone out in the woods. Sucks when they don’t clean them up though.
"It's an interesting..."
"In Japan. A hotel was abandoned before it was ever finished being built. It only became a cement skeleton, about 5 stories high. It was left that way to eventually mold back into the forest around it."
It’s an interesting small building to explore. There are halls that are unlevel to the point of hitting your head on the ceiling (think: Willy Wonka)."
"There are stairwells that lead to nothing and one that leads to an unintentional hole in a cement wall. And on the top floor (but “inside” - as in, under the “roof”), is an old car - all smashed up - with seemingly no reason or method to have been up there."
[deleted]
This reminds me of those old abandoned amusement parks that pretty much exist to destroy me mentally.
"I once walked..."
"I once walked through the undergrowth (i.e. off the trail) with my then-girlfriend when we came across this spot where a few empty plastic bags were lying on the ground (strange because the woods are otherwise super clean), a pair of gloves and, most confusingly, the official ID card (= passport) of a young woman."
Minister_of_Joy
I would freak out and call the cops. That sounds like a murder scene.
"Many plastic bags..."
"Many plastic bags with nothing really in them but random odd things tied to trees. Sure, it could have been a homeless person but us kids att (like 12+) of us lived in those small woods behind the church every single day. We never saw anyone like that, ever. Passing through I guess, but why so many bags...still wonder."
WiseOwlBear
Do we want to know what was in them? Probably not.
"When I was a teenager..."
"When I was a teenager, I worked at a fireworks stand that was run by my friend's family. It was in a rural area: they owned a few acres of land, had the fireworks tent at the front of the property and the house towards the back, but no lights in between. My friend's mother would prepare dinner for all the workers and we'd take turns going back to the house for dinner."
"One night, I was going to the house for dinner by myself. I felt something on my arm. I thought a bug might have landed on me, but it was really dark so I couldn't see anything. I stopped walking for a second. Then I started hearing this low, raspy breathing right next to me."
"There weren't any people around me and it didn't sound anything like a bug. It was like a slow, asthmatic wheeze."
"I started getting really freaked out. I reached my hand down to my arm and felt... something larger than I expected. I furiously rubbed my hands all across my body to try and dislodge whatever this thing was, then ran as fast as I could to the house. When I finally got to the safety of the house, I could see a small red mark on my arm, but that was it."
"To this day, it's probably the most freaked out I've ever been."
[deleted]
Chills reading this! Nooo thank you!
"Several very large holes..."
"Really big holes. Several very large holes, fairly close to each other, that seem to serve no purpose. Ten feet wide, deep enough that if you jumped in you’d have to have help getting out. Was someone preparing to bury a bunch of people? Was someone punishing their kid by making them dig holes? Did they hear there was buried treasure out there?"
"We’ve never figured it out."
theyarnilama
How far apart? How neat were the holes? In a plantation or natural wood? Accessible by a small excavator?
"I once saw a huge pile of cat and dog skulls and bones about 100m from my cabin so we sold the cabin as soon as we could. It was creepy."
[deleted]
This definitely sounds like the beginning of a horror film. Did the ghosts follow you? Please report back.
"There's a small patch..."
"There's a small patch of woods where I live. You could walk across it in less than an hour. It's entirely safe and has marked trails. People somehow manage to get lost in there and I can't explain that."
ThadisJones
Did they stumble across the bounds of time and space? That might explain it. But you might be underestimating how many people lack a sense of direction.
None of this makes you want to go out into the woods, huh? Yeah, we thought so. We'll pass the next time we get an offer to go camping somewhere.
Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
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We're all not geniuses.
Everybody has varying degrees of knowledge and brain power.
And that is ok.
Though some of us are really lacking in any sense and every once and awhile people like to sugarcoat that fact when they call us out.
"Bless your heart."
That's a big one in the South. Means... "I like you, but Lord are you missing marbles."
Redditor MrMadJoker wanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.
They asked:
"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"
"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."
Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.
And... he was right.
Cents
"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."
hopefulsite126
The Cells
"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."
Striking_Yoghurt_690
"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."
Bad Wheel
"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."
ofsquire
"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"
cardew-vascular
"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"
Mulberry0
YOU
"You're the reason we have warning labels."
ofsquire
"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”
Smoopiebear
"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."
WantToBeBetterAtSex
Ok... some of this is some good comedy.
Or Puppet...
"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."
JonSnow31391
Vanilla?
"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."
Pokeybumfun
"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."
ElegantEagle13
"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"
00192737292
I Like Turkey
"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."
accomplished_loaf
"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"
thefuzzybunny1
"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."
thxitsthedepression
No Top Floor
"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."
ferox965
"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."
"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"
one_angry_custodian
Space
"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."
Blobfish_Blues
Not all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.
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