We've all had moments in our lives when we've been glad that there wasn't a camera to catch our embarrassing fumbles and flubs.
But what if there was?
This formed the basis for today's burning question from Lord_Urjit, who asked the online community: What moment of your life would have gone viral... if it had been recorded?
"We were hiking..."Giphy
We were hiking, and came across someone in a lowered sporty car, stuck in the mud out in the middle of nowhere. We started helping them try to dig their car out of the mud, only to have a truck (friend of driver) show up and immediately get stuck as well. Car owner called for more backup (bigger trucks) and they all proceed to show up, one by one, and get stuck in the mud. One of the trucks caught on fire (driver absentmindedly set down a high powered, heated flashlight on his center console). Truck driver got so mad his nose started bleeding, and wanted to kill the original car driver stuck in the mud. It was like one of those comedy movies where everything went wrong.
My husband is a bit of an active sleeper. He has done all sorts of things in his sleep: eat, make coffee, check the mail, move furniture. I wish we had a camera in our house to capture the night we fell asleep in the living room and he picked me up and carried me to bed. I woke up along the way (he wasn't super gentle) and he dropped me on the edge of the bed. I bounced right off.
"Probably the time..."
Probably the time I was messing around with my family at the park and punted a basketball the full length of the court only to nail my little brother in the head. Luckily he had a helmet on, unluckily he was riding a scooter and went down pretty hard.
"I was in a sport class..."
I was in a sport class, doing a game similar to tag as a warm-up or something.
A friend of mine was chasing me, so I ran at a small goalpost (corner at head height, you see where this is going) and dodged out of the way at the last second, expecting my friend to nearly go into it and have to stop himself, giving me time to escape.
He careered head-first into the corner of the goalpost and I didn't see him for the rest of the day.
"As a teen..."
As a teen, during a game of one-on-one, I tried to toss the basketball to the other guy by bouncing it off my crotch.
It would've worked fine, except I'm not built like a Ken doll, so I just powerslammed the ball into my dangly bits and fell to the ground.
"The two different trust falls..."
The two different trust falls I tried at a party within 5 min of each other and both people stepped away and I landed flat on my back. Good thing alcohol numbs both your physical and emotional feelings... Sometimes.
"We were in the middle..."
We were in the middle of math class and a lot of us were being quite loud, talking, etc. while the teacher was talking. He got really upset and started yelling at all of us. He is normally very calm, so we were all shocked and speechless. When he was done, there was complete silence for a solid 20 seconds. No movement whatsoever. When all of a sudden, the Mario theme started playing. We all looked to where the sound was coming from to see one of the kids scrambling his phone out, saying "sorry, sorry, that is my ringtone." Thinking about this moment never fails to make me laugh.
"A bunch of us guys..."
A bunch of us guys were throwing a water bottle across the classroom at each other before class one day, and one guy misthrew. He nailed this tough girl goth chick right in the side of the head. She turned to him with the purest look of murder I have every seen. That stare lasted a couple of seconds... then she burst out crying and ran out of the room.
"When I was..."
When I was
young younger, my neighbor, Josh, flipped a water bottle and landed it on the back of the rim. Would've been less impressive if his older brother, Jake, hadn't capped another bottle on top of it. Wish I recorded that moment, only have a photo.
"At my 13th..."Giphy
At my 13th birthday party I was laughing hard and went to lean back against the wall. I fell through. Whole room laughed hysterically and I laughed so hard I nearly stopped breathing.
"Probably the time..."
Probably the time I fell off a scooter, in the middle of the road, and there was a truck coming in my direction and it was very close. There was no time to run so I laid back down, figured I was going to be in between the distance between the tyres. The truck driver stopped just as the truck was half-way over my knees. Good times.
"Walking home to the dorms..."
Walking home to the dorms wasted in the winter. Lose my balance and fall against a parked car's hood, roll/flopping down the hood onto my back in front of the car. I'm laying there for a few seconds when the car's light flash and the siren blasts a single whoop whoop. "Oh f---," I say outloud, "it's the police!" I get up and start running. I make it as far as the twenty feet to the other side of the street and try to vault the single chain and post fence lining the dorms' walkways. My foot clips the chain and I face plant right into a snowbank. "My dad is going to murder me," I think to myself as I lay there, waiting to be arrested.
But the footsteps that had been coming after me stop, and uproarious laughter ensues. With my head buried in the snow I'm not sure if the officer(s) said anything, all I heard was laughter as the car door closed and the patrol car drove off.
Not believing my luck I scrambled out of the snow and stumbled back to my dorm. I was freezing at that point and one of the girls on the floor took pity on me, wrapped me up in a blanket and we watched Fight Club. That's also the story of the first night I spent with my wife.
"I was around nine..."
I was around nine when I was able to build my first paper aeroplane in class. The teacher had gone to the toilet so I decided it was the best time to play it.
As I launched it, it went right across the room and made the pointy front tip hit my classmate straight in the eye. I was sent straight to the office and my classmate had to go home, and probably wasn't in school for a week.
Oddly enough, we still stay in touch and he's fine.
"I was walking home..."
I was walking home and saw my teacher stuck in traffic on his scooter, so go up to him from behind and go 'Hey sir!' really loudly, I kinda wanted to scare him a little bit, but he freaked out when he heard me and while turning his head to look at me, he also pushed on the accelerator and drove right into another scooter that was in front of him, all the while screaming and cursing me out. I was laughing so hard but also felt really bad for him, oops.
"Considering the string wasn't that long..."
Was camping with my dad and brother, we were eating some Ritz chips. We left some on the ground for chipmunks/squirrels right in front of us. My brother decided to tie one to a string, then held the string and waited.
We kept telling him they'd just ignore it and get any of the other chips on the ground, especially since his was in the center. A couple of minutes later, a chipmunk came up. It passed every single chip, grabbed the one on the string, and darted off. My brother kept holding the string, so it got ripped out of his mouth and he got flipped over.
You might think this is where the chipmunk runs away or grabs another chip. Nope. It grabs the same chip, digs in its heels, and plays a game of damn tug of war with my brother for the chip. Eventually my brother let go of the string and it went running off with the chip.
Considering the string wasn't that long (like 4 or 5 feet tops) and my dad and I were dying, I can't believe it stood up to us for that chip.
DQ: What moment in your life would have gone viral had it been recorded?
We live in the stories of our family that came before us.
Unfortunately, social media and a constant stream of digital records did not exist in the time of either of the Great Wars.
Can you imagine a selfie taken from the trenches or from storming the beaches of Normandy?
Just because we can't see it, though, doesn't mean we haven't heard the tales, been swept away in the stories, the details, of one of the most horrific and heroic times in our collective history.
Because some of our family were there, and they told us about it.
"Did anyone have stories from WW1 or WW2 passed down to them if so what’s the story?"
It's war, right?
Of course most of the stories are going to be tragic tales of loss and fear.
A True Hero
"One grandfather earned a Purple Heart during WWI because he went out out alone under heavy shelling to flag down an ambulance for his buddies. The physician who later treated him at the field hospital said his own leg was torn up so badly he shouldn't have been able to take 10 steps on it."
"Ultimately he didn't save any lives, though. And the ambulance got shelled too--killing the entire ambulance crew. He was the sole survivor."
"I can’t imagine being the sole survivor of all of my buddies, PLUS the dudes you were calling for help. Wow."
Too Young, Too Much To See
"My grandfather was in the US Navy in the Pacific during WW2. My mom would tell me about how when she was a kid he'd used to get really drunk and tell disturbing, graphically detailed stories about all the horrific sh-t he witnessed during the war. Stories about friends drowning or getting burned to death in raging fires, the terror caused by incoming kamikazes, etc."
"My mom was like, 8 or 9 years old at the time and being subjected to that understandably messed her up a bit. I never worked up the nerve to ask my grandfather about his experiences directly since it was obviously so traumatic for him. He eventually died due to complications from Parkinson's disease as well as being an alcoholic for decades."
"I sometimes wonder how different his life might have been if he hadn't enlisted as a fresh faced 17 year old. Given the timing, he might have been able to avoid getting drafted and stay out of the war entirely. Shoulda coulda woulda, I guess."
Stuff Stays With You Forever
"Completely different war, but my mom's father's father, so my great grandpa on my mother's side, was in WW1. Apparently, once a year or so he'd just sit in a rocking chair for several days on end falling apart and crying, wouldn't talk or move or eat, and my great-grandmother would just put a blanket on his lap and sigh and say he's thinking about the war and he'd be ok in a few days."
"This sh-t was so common ... Is still so common..... I'm glad it's less shameful and more people can get help these days."
Let's brighten things up past the typical doom and gloom.
What are some of the more outlandish stories from being in the war?
Out Before It Even Started
"My Grandpa's only WW2 story involves him arriving in France and proceeding to trip over a small hole in the ground and break his ankle on his first day there. It never healed right and he was sent back to the states. Walked with a cane for the rest of his life."
"Don't take this the wrong way but he's a lucky man"
That Magic Of The Chocolate
"I've posted this a few times before, but my grandpa was a child on a farm in Germany during WWII."
"On of my favorites was while a bunch of allies were traveling by. A group of Americans broke off and came up to the farmhouse. Through the language barrier his family figured out they were asking for milk. They get some and hand it over never expecting to see it again."
"The Americans take it and kind of stand around for a bit. After a while they bring it back up and manage to convince all the kids to come up. They split it out the drink they made to all the kids."
"Turns they made chocolate milk."
"I doubt this is the only reason my grandpa moved to the US, but I suspect its part of it."
Secret Families And Secret Chickens
"While I have have several family members who died in action, here are the more interesting stories. My great grandparents (with 7 children) were living in Russia under nazi occupation, hiding a Jewish woman in their cellar. Their neighbors knew about it but none of them snitched. The entire family would’ve been gunned down if they did."
"Also, a bomb once fell on their house but everyone survived although my great grandfather was severely injured. Great grandma secretly raised a chicken for him to eat for his injury, as they were starving because the Nazis were raiding the villages for food. On one such raid, she denied having any food but they heard the chicken clucking. That’s probably the nearest the family got to being shot."
You don't know what happens in the heat of war, in the midst of chaos and bloodshed, but you know that decisions have to be made, choices must be followed up on, and some people earn the title of "The Greatest Generation."
Wait For It...
"My grandfather was one of the soldiers that stormed the beaches of Normandy. I didn't hear about that particular portion of his story, but i do know that he was under fire and jumped into the trench only to land on a dead soldiers body. The corpse still smelled of a cologne called 'Evening in Paris' and when grandpa came home to the states he couldn't stand the smell of Evening in Paris - it caused severe ptsd flash backs for him."
"I wish i knew more of his story but he's been missing over 20 years now and is presumed dead."
You Kept Items From The Men On The Front Line?
"My great grandfather was in the trenches of WWI. His wife sewed him a coat because, well, trench warfare. The salvation army was running a program where they would get care packages from the states to soldiers in the war, so she handed the coat over to them to get to her husband."
"A month later she saw some admin from the salvation army walking around wearing the coat. He called her a liar when she said she made the coat for her husband, at least up until the policeman overseeing the argument was convinced to cut a seam to reveal the letter and hidden money she sewed into the lining."
"The salvation army also charged my great grandpa for hot coffee while the red cross gave it to the soldiers for free."
"Yeah, my family doesn't donate to the salvation army."
See? This Guy Gets It.
"Great Grandfather earned his commission during the Battle of Flers–Courcelette. He was company Sergeant Major 25th CEF. During the battle his Major and platoon commanders were either wounded or killed. He took charge of the company and after storming and taking the village he continued to lead his men until another hundred yards of German trenches were captured and held for two days and two nights. He fought at Ypres and The Somme and several other battles during WW1. (I have his uniform, medals, walking stick, battle field maps, field binoculars, photos etc)"
It's been over a hundred years since the first World War meaning those stories are all now coming secondhand.
The farther we get, the fewer stories we'll hear firsthand from those who were there in WWII.
Listen, if you get the chance.
It's a gift.
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What is it about someone that captivates you instantly?
Could it be the twinkle in their eye as they talk about their passions? Or perhaps its their overwhelming sense of humor that draws in everyone in the room?
Whatever it might be, everyone has that one trait, that one quality, that can make them instantly interesting to someone listening nearby.
"What's one thing which makes someone interesting to you instantly?"
It doesn't even have to make sense why that person is interesting to you.
If they're only funny to you, and no one else, doesn't matter.
You'll sit, listening to them, for as long as you can.
Make Me Laugh
"Sense of humour"
"I have entire relationships that are built on mutual humor. Sincere humor is the best, when someone can be their full selves with you - serious moments are appreciated and occur but our love language with one another is our ability to laugh together."
You've Seen Things Others Haven't
"If they have traveled outside their home country or have lived/are living outside the home country."
"As someone who spent the last 15 years outside my home country, this is normal for me, or that they’ve learned a second language.(I have too just not always the language of my host country)."
Math And Numbers All The Way
- "If they're interested in math I instantly love them. Haven't met anyone tho"
- "Funny sarcasm a bit situational, but if someone is good at using sarcasm in a gunny way I want to be they're friend."
Totally Got Into A Fight With A Bear
"Facial scars, and not ones done intentionally. If you got a big ol scar on your face, you've seen some sh-t, and I am dying to hear about it."
"I have a fairly prominent scar close to my eye that I got from walking into the corner of a table as a 2yo."
"Can't say I've seen sh-t, but I sure as sh-t didn't see that table."
Conversations are tricky to navigate, especially when you think you'll do nothing but bring the group chat down.
That's why when someone perks their ears up to give you the floor, it's intriguing.
Let's Talk TOGETHER
"They draw people into the conversation by finding topics of mutual interest."
"A great tip for doing this is to abandon any embarrassment at knowing nothing about someone's passion. Instead of trying to change the subject or staying quiet, ask the basic questions that come to mind."
"You'll find there are two types of people - those who delight in explaining why they're so passionate to you in a way that makes their passion practically contagious and those who can't be bothered making an effort. The first group are the ones you want to talk to anyway, as they not only match the effort you made but make it effortless for both parties."
Take Your Time. I'll Listen.
"People who can find the sentence through all the stuttering I do and are actually interested to chat for an undetermined amount of time"
"Hang in there buddy! It's a shame how society treats people who stutter! I'm a speech therapist and the biggest problem for my patients isn't the stuttering, but the inability of other people to just take a little bit more time and let them finish their sentences on their own time"
Or Maybe We Don't Need To Talk At All
"Ability to enjoy and appreciate comfortable silences without having the need to constantly talk."
"Nothing's more annoying than someone who constantly talks just to fill the air."
You don't know why, you just know how it feels.
It's a gut thing, deep down inside, that lets you know this person is something special.
Let It Out
"Passion. Doesn't matter about what, they could be passionate about installing toilets and I'd listen to them. I find it infectious."
"YES fully f-cking agree. My friends always apologize when they go on about something I’m not into/haven’t even heard of, but I could listen to it for hours. Just hearing the excitement in their voice and seeing their eyes light up just soothes my soul."
"They’re not afraid to like things. I’m so bored of people whose personality is based around not liking things or being too cool for things. Coming from someone who used to be extremely cynical — cynicism is boring."
Eyes That Make You Feel
"Their eyes. Some people have very kind eyes and I’m extremely attracted to that."
"Omg this. So far I’ve only met one person with really kind eyes and there was a time when I was in bed just crying about it cause whenever he looks at me it’s like all the mistakes I’ve made in my life doesn’t matter"
Speak Your Truths
"Honesty. Even at their own expense. Extremely attractive trait in friends or significant others."
"Double this. It comes down to being able to accept wrong and being unafraid to open themselves up to judgment, criticism, and consequences of action, which is a huuuige display of strength, and == hot. Dishonesty is insecurity at best, malice at worst."
Trust your gut.
You never know what kind of fascinating individuals you'll be lucky enough to interact with.
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Turns out not all of us are interested in being benevolent Gods.
It's Reddit, so we're not exactly surprised, but we're suddenly glad divine cosmic powers don't work this way.
Reddit user Purple_Pineapple_752 asked:
"If God gave you his powers for 1 hour, What would you do?"
So here's the thing, Reddit has no chill.
So every random whim, thought, or chip on people's shoulders certainly came out in the comments.
And honestly... it's delicious.
Some Redesigns Needed
"Redesign human knee and shoulder joints. Because, seriously, I've got some bug reports that have been ignored."
"You’ve got my vote! As a nearly 30yr old with chronic arthritis, I’d say thank you!"
"Yup. Tore my ACL the other month in college football and am now a 'house potato' according to my dad."
"Both of my shoulders are reconstructed. My hips are finished as well an I'm in my 30s ."
"I think the human body needs to be made of better quality parts at this point lol"
"Elected politicians, and candidates for office can no longer lie."
"Intentionally or unintentionally, every thing they express will be truth. If they try to lie, it will come out truth."
"This is not meant to be wholly benevolent."
"No half truths. No vagaries. The plain and objective truth, or silence. Those are their options."
"And it applies to all elected politicians, officially government sponsored ones (MPs) or otherwise, like say the elected spokesman of the IRA."
"Let the games begin."
"This is actually terrifying."
"Imagine you are elected. You want to know the nuclear launch codes? No worries, just try to state the first character in the sequence."
"You cannot lie. So what you say will come out as correct. Now just have someone write it down."
"Want the password to the white house twitter account? No worries, just get someone to vote you into some form of office. Could be you and joe-no-body, it doesn't matter."
"Privacy would end overnight."
"No no no, you want them to not be able to tell intentional lies. Then at least it's limited to things they know. And just for good measure, give every elected official a strong sense of questioning their own knowledge."
"I feel like this power will end up being a monkeys paw. You try to do good but it has an equal/opposite reaction..."
"You make it so politicians can't lie, and the followers just accept it and still vote them into power."
"Make it so people have critical thinking and aren't easily misled by conspiracies and propaganda, then I dunno, maybe we find out we needed conspiracies in our life and we now no longer question anything.. Idk.."
"You remove corruption and it has some unforeseen knock on impact where now South American or African countries become super powers and a new cold war erupts with new players."
"Yeh monkeys paw... Beware of this power..."
"Create various images on toast and have fun watching believers react to them."
"But technically... they would be right because it was you as God!! You!!"
"I’ve often wondered how many people eat their Jesus toast without ever bothering to check."
"Extending the thought, how many people actually do check their toast only to think to themselves, 'Hey! It’s Keanu Reeves!' ”
Can We Vote For This Person?
"1st of all, I would make it so that everyone napping always wakes up refreshed. All naps now last 23 minutes but feel like 4 hours of perfect sleep."
"Nothing is addictive."
"All men are given perfect recall about everything their wives have said or done."
"All women obtain positive body images."
"People who are cool never have their shoe laces come undone. A-holes have their laces break every Friday."
"Dogs stay small puppies for 3 extra months and come out potty trained."
"Turtles can play trumpet."
"America switches to metric with no fuss."
"The internet makes sense to everyone over 70....but they chose to avoid social media anyway."
"Corn syrup goes away."
"All religions announce simultaneously that God is kinda... but not exactly gay."
"Every swastika owned drawn or tattooed is slowly burned away over a week. It hurts really bad and is replaced by a picture of a teddy bear blowing a very startled looking Nick Cage."
"You had me at trumpet turtles and taco trees."
"I also choose this god."
Assuming I'm Still Interested
"Assuming I’m still really interested in Earth, get us back to zero or a good starting point."
"Remove all trash and pollution everywhere. It just ceases to exist."
"Complete all municipal separated storm sewer projects instantly."
"Instantly create storm water gardens wherever necessary. Instantly eliminate lawn culture and convert to lawn alternatives to eliminate run off."
"Instantly convert all power generation to safe thorium nuclear and renewable. Instantly convert all sea shipping to clean nuclear."
"Instantly convert all cars to electric. Create charging stations at every residence."
"Instantly convert all heavy construction equipment to a safer fuel (I don’t know what yet). Instantly put solar panels on every structure/house. Instantly create bike lanes everywhere. Instantly create bike culture of the Netherlands everywhere."
"Upgrade everywhere to high speed rail systems similar to Japan. Switch all roads to permeable pavement."
"Instantly perform major upgrades on every structure, road and bridge everywhere. Have all work go to new construction and maintenance."
"Instantly install field drains and timer stadium lights in all playing fields."
"Instantly process all rape kits in all police stations."
"Instantly repair all playgrounds and park features everywhere."
"Automatically register everyone to vote. Create 10 new states out of Texas and California. Instantly pass political reform."
"Legalize all drugs. Instantly create more treatment centers."
"Instantly cure all ailments that are in recovery in hospital and would cure naturally. Instantly move those patients back home."
"Instantly kill all patients who would die naturally. Instantly inform all families."
"Instantly remove all graveyards and eliminate practice of saving dead. Create new ritual of donation to science or turn into tree."
"Instantly create depression cure. Instantly create obesity cure. Instantly create formula to grow/repair existing teeth."
"Instantly change taxation rate to post WW2 for businesses. Instantly change view of all workers to pro-union."
"Instantly identify and eliminate all political corruption. Have everyone just realize all this exists."
"Eliminate all religious belief everywhere. Instantly create belief in helping neighbors, being a good person, and creating a heaven on earth."
"Eliminate all mosquitoes. Bring back bees."
"Is time up? Was that an hour?"
One Solution To The Fossil Fuel Issue
"Having given it some thought:"
"Easy parthenogenesis for all humans, regardless of their biological sex and mental identity."
"And the natural ability to self terminate pregnancies. And self. That would wipe out a whole bunch of angst and repression in the world."
"The ability to fly, as someone else suggested, at fairly rapid speeds. This would vastly change society, no more cars, planes, elevators, stairs, possibly no more country borders, it would be nearly impossible to enforce. The demand for oil would plummet and the environment would be healthier."
"Extra longevity, with senescence happening only a few years before death."
Genderqueer Garlic Bread
"Make an easily accessed and super powerful source of electrical energy that's renewable and environmentally friendly, it's also easily accessed (this could just be 100% efficient solar gen, or a generator that somehow turns heat back into useable energy? I dunno I'll be god, I could figure it out)."
"Cure All Diseases"
"Humanity now has the ability to magically transform themselves freely to look however they choose, provided it's still anthropomorphic."
"I'm genderqueer; this would make it so all the non-cis people wouldn't need expensive drugs and surgery, or suffering, although I guess we'd be dealing with a few furries but y'know that's fine with me."
"Reverse earth's environmental damage back to pre-industrial while maintaining all the infrastructure changes."
"Finally, all major US and Canadian highways are underground and infinitely maintainable, AND there's also Bullet Trains that run underground with them along the WHOLE interstate/400 Series and Extension/Trans-Can that way I NEVER HAVE TO DRIVE AN HOUR TO WORK AGAIN."
"AND all Cities with populations over 10K have more-than-adequate 100% free public transit that's also so efficient the busses/trains/trolleys/whatever are never late."
"OH one more thing: Since everyone is gonna be sexy because of the Shapeshifting, everyone is either pansexual, or ace, and the people that are ace aren't seen as weird and are completely respected in their orientation. And we all have an innate sense both to locate each other and to locate garlic bread."
"I would set a timer for 10 years and then everyone dies and the earth explodes. I would make everyone aware of the timer."
"I think that would eliminate a lot of bullshit around the world like war and hate, and would make for a really good last time alive until we all die together."
"Am I a weirdo?"
"Curse everyone whose name was listed in the Pandora Papers to spontaneously explode somewhere in public and just let the media chips fall where they will."
"Create a sky-dwelling jellyfish that eats carbon fumes and whose tentacles contain a chemical that makes you feel total euphoria for 8 hours straight."
"See how long it takes humans to turn them into a carbon-sucking, drug-producing sky farm animal."
"I am 100% on board for carbon-Hoover-jelly-sky-fish-farms."
"Because Who Wouldn't?"
"I'd get rid of all mental impairment diseases and conditions. Alzheimers, Dementia, the severe mental impairment that some kids are born with (Not sure what the various conditions are called)."
"I would make humans and other animals immune to cancer. I would extend healthy human lifespans by another 50 years, and dogs and cats can also live as long as humans."
"I would then give humans the ability to research and cure other diseases and ailment so that mankind could eventually have treatments for such things as they come along. I say this because I only get an hour and things will appear in the future that can't be predicted (even with God's power)."
"And lastly, I'd of course, give my self a bigger dick, because who wouldn't?"
Oh you didn't honestly think we were going to get through an article about god-like powers and NOT have someone use it for penises... did you?
Come on now.
You're not THAT new on the internet.
You know how people are around here.
What would YOU use your god-like powers for now that you've read some of Reddits ideas? Let us know in the comments.
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Are you like me and the 1990s were only 10 years ago?
Yes, I can do the math, but 1990 being 32 years ago still seems unreal.
Why is that?
Maybe it's the fact it marked the end of the 20th century and beginning of the 21st.
Either way, it just doesn't seem that long ago and the nostalgia for the trappings of the 1990s is strong.
Redditor PrimaryYam9432 asked:
"What is something outdated from the 90s you want back?"
"I lived in a one bedroom apartment in San Diego in the nineties to the tune of $400 a month. I'd like that back, please."
"I looked up the specific place I lived. That one bedroom runs $1,650 now."
Cheesy Video Games
"Westwood Studio's real time strategy games featuring cheesy live action videos between the levels. I'm fine without the dial-up multiplayer though."
Subscribe, Subscribe, Subscribe
"Software that you buy one time and own. Looking at you Adobe."
"Being able to own things without having to take out a subscriptions."
"This is exactly what I was going to say. Being able to buy something and be done. Now everything has a subscription attached to it."
"Software is one of the worst examples but even the auto industry is trying to get in on the subscription money by requiring additional monthly plans to access features of your car that you already paid for."
"A local HVAC company is attaching a subscription to their work. So you pay them to install it all and then a monthly fee for them to be on-call in the event it needs maintenance."
"At work our IT support company stopped doing ad hoc service calls unless you subscribe to their monthly service plan. So the company is paying triple the price and getting basically the same thing except in theory the amount of service call they can request is 'unlimited'."
Your Local Video Store
"I miss going to video stores and browsing."
"I do too. That was a fun Friday night as a kid. Going to Blockbuster to pick out a new movie to watch."
"It's not the same getting on Netflix and spending an hour looking for something to watch to only wind up watching something you've already seen."
"Yep! As a kid my dad would come home from work on Friday evening and take us to Hollywood video."
"We’d pick out a movie and get a pizza on the way home. Good times."
"Reasonable commercial lengths."
"Now ESPN has 5 minute commercial breaks..."
"My least favorite trend is a commercial break, then they come back for 1-2 minutes with some tiny snippet of 'coming up next!' then go to another commercial break."
"Or they smash the credits into a tiny window, while running ads on full screen. Can't even read the credits if you wanted to."
"Not having to make an account for EVERYF'KINGTHING!"
"And lately every time I sign up for something, they send me texts now too in addition to emails that I don’t want. Leave me alone!!"
"I'm so over this. Especially when you're supposed to make a different password for every account you have. My brain only has so much memory for passwords anymore."
"This is probably more late 90s/early 00s than the 90s as a whole, but a social media-less internet."
"It felt like an escape from real life, as opposed to an extension of it."
"Remember when they told us to never identify yourself on the internet? And now they put their whole life on it."
"I miss web 1.0 where anonymity was the point."
"Remember when our parents told us not to trust anyone on the internet, but now believe everything they see online and lecture us about it?"
"My mom when I was 16 and got my first PC: 'Don't put your pictures online!'"
"My mom now: 'Send me grandson pics nowww! Need new profile pic and header!!'"
"Geocities web pages, made with heart, not for money."
"I do miss Geocities. It was sh*t, but atleast anyone could have a web site for free hosted on a server that was relatively fast and reliable."
"Nowadays, good luck to find a good free web hosting..."
"Oh my god, my bff would purposely go to my crappy Geocities site and sign the guestbook as ridiculously over the top characters like 'Madame Consuela de Soliz-Camacho-Dubois St Bernard,' and she'd write their comments in Spanish, German, French, whatever she felt like that day."
"It was so stupid but for idiot teenagers back in the 90's, it was the height of hilarity that she could prank me without being in the same room. Good times."
Why Is This Phone Smart?
"Not being able to be reached 24/7."
"Remember when the only people who had cell phones or pagers were doctors and high end business professionals that NEEDED to be reached at a moments notice."
"Now, everyone is expected to be available at any time. And if you elect to stand your ground and establish a separation between work/personal life you're considered 'rude' or 'difficult to communicate with'."
"Yeah, remember when you let the house phone ring during dinner?
"I remember my dad grumbling if the phone ever rang: 'It's dinner time, nobody should be calling now. Who calls during dinner?!'"
"You didn't call people's house after about 8pm either unless you knew it was okay. It was rude—that was private, home time."
Buttons & Knobs & Dials
"Technology with buttons and knobs."
"Agreed! Some things I just don’t want a touch screen for."
"I hate touchscreens in cars because 1) you just know they'll wear out and be expensive to replace and 2) I can't use it by feel and have to take my eyes off the road to adjust anything."
"Agreed! Why does my Microwave need to have touchscreen? I don't want to touch the panel with my fat butter and chips fingers. I want use the back of my hand."
"All my touchscreen appliances start to fizzle and fail pretty quickly. All the analog or mechanical ones still work from decades ago, or I can at least open them and clean some contacts."
Nostalgia is a funny thing—we tend to romanticize our past.
If we truly went back, we'd probably discover all the things we'd miss from our future.
But we still miss a lot from the 1990s.
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