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People come and go in our lives, but the few who have stuck around and been a constant presence in your life are the ones you will treasure the most.


But friendships evolve as our situations change.

Some bonds end because your party-going besties are no longer compatible with your slowed-down lifestyle.

And in many common cases, some amities slow to a halt when friends get married and start a family while you remain single.

Curious to hear about people's friendships, Redditor CaligulaBlushed asked:

When was the moment you realised you didn't really fit in with your friend group anymore?

Lifestyle Change

"When I quit drugs."

IIDrunkenGamerII

Isolation

"When they tend to leave you out when they are going out or talking and chatting."

Thin-Future-7979

"Walking down a pavement and somehow you always end up being the one standing behind because you can't fit all in a row."

DragonofHoarsbreath

Missing The Memo

"I was the only girl in a big guy group for ages in high school. One time we'd all organised to go to the movies and were to meet at the train station. I got there a couple minutes early. I waited for 20 minutes, sent a message to my friends. After no reply and waiting for an hour I finally got a hold of one who said they'd cancelled late last night but forgot I was going so they hadn't told me. We'd made the plans a week in advance and I had to call my dad in tears to explain and get him to come pick me up after he dropped me off."

"Big wake up call, it was time to move on."

DragonscaleTea

Never Invited

"Same here. Friends would go have lunch or get a cup of coffee and I was never invited. That hurt me so bad I got depressed. Luckily, I left those people behind me and doing fine now."

Snaggy4

Movie Plans

"Spent all day trying to get any of them to go see a movie with me that evening. Called people, texted people, no one was available. I decided 'screw it, I'll go alone' and went early to get a ticket and caught a good number of the people I invited coming out of the movie together. They dodged me."

"I sat in my car and wept until the movie started then wept the whole way home."

Worlds_Best_Coffee

The Third Wheel

"When I quit putting in the effort to make the plans. I realized I was a 3rd wheel in the group that wasn't invited unless I did the actual work. I was basically ghosted."

HailToTheLion2006

It's Conditional

The second they began demanding nice little extra things I'd do for the friendship. The second it became expected rather than appreciated was when I was done with it."

DeadlyEnzyme

Undesirable Lifestyle

"Literally all they did for fun anymore was get trashed and party, that was not a life I wanted."

amalgamas

Having Kids

"When they started getting married one by one and having kids. After that, everything they did revolved around couples activities or kids activities. Those of us left in the group who are single were sort of shut out."

Linux4ever_Leo

Time For Healing

"When I started therapy."

is-malia

Cattiness

"When I realised they always talked very poorly about a girl who was in the same class as us in junior year. The girl came from a middle/rich family so she had some manners we didn't (we were from the hoods) so they were always talking dirty about her and critizing her. That girl was never mean to any of us and was the kindest person I have met until then. I never said defended her when my friends talked but it was seriously growing on me and I just left that group, I slowly stopped talking to them. And I became real good friends with her and she is today one of the person I trust a lot."

Myloh_

Caring For A Former Friend

"When I was drunk at a party, and 911 needed to be called for a former friend that I frankly hated."

"Everyone disappeared when the ambulance and police were heading over. I was stuck drunkenly telling her mom over the phone that her daughter had a severe panic attack and possible alcohol poisoning, and that I was sitting with her while waiting for emergency responders."

"Her mom kept saying I must be her one genuine friend, and I hated that girl for being a petty backstabber. Even if I hate someone, I wouldn't leave them drunk and alone in the middle of a panic attack."

"I cut those friends off after that. It had been a long time coming. The rest of my time at college was very lonely."

TheBostonCorgi

In Time Of Need

"I found myself homeless and they all disappeared. Came back around again when I got an apartment but I just didn't want to rekindle the friendships."

– sassylittlespoon

The Survivor

"When it went from smoking a little weed, drinking a few beers, and taking the occasional dose, to opiate abuse and full blown alcoholism. In other words when it went from just having some fun to serious addictions. It was time to go. For the record most of them are dead now. Despite my user name I'd prefer they still be alive."

Dead_Is_Better

Irritating Friend Group

"I just noticed that anytime I hung out with them I was irritated. We had all been a great friend group from middle school through high school but as we progress through our twenties priorities and things that we all found fun changed drastically."

"I could not stand the people that they became friends with outside of her friend group and those people couldn't stand me. One of the incidents that stands out most in my mind is that while spending the evening with this friend group I put lipstick on and then proceeded to be judged by all of the other girls in the room with them all saying 'I hate makeup! I think anyone who wears makeup is superficial!'"

"I was also irritated at the way that they conducted themselves in terms of making plans. I'm a very impatient and spontaneous person but I am at least aware that a little bit of planning is required when deciding to go on camping trips or travel to another state or country. These folks were kind that just go by the seat of their pants. It would wind up being one of the more stressful times because no arrangements had been made in advance and no research had been done."

"They also would never give me solid answers if I invited them to things like concerts. I would wind up missing out on things because I didn't want to go to them by myself but my friends would never say yes or no until it was too late."

Urdazzle

Clint Patterson/Unsplash

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