Christmas is upon us. It's time to get those Christmas present lists together.

So... who has been naughty and who has been nice?

Who is getting diamonds and who is getting coal? Yuck, coal. Is that even a thing anymore? Who even started that idea?

There has to be some funnier or more "for the times" type of "you've been naughty" stocking stuffer.

I feel like the statement coal used to make is kind of last century at this point.

Apparently I'm not alone in this thinking.


Case in point...

Redditor rallfreedom wanted us to update Santa's deliveries for the children on the naughty list, they asked:

"Since Santa is old, and coal was considered worthless back in the day, what new worthless item could Santa give to naughty children in 2021?"

If you really wanted to set me off on Christmas morning, then you should leave me something personalized. Something you how I'd hate. Like a cassette tape of 80's Christian soft rock. That would make a statement of just how naughty I've been.

What a Difference

Blockbuster GIF by Big Potato Games Giphy

"Blockbuster gift cards." ~ GamerOfGods33

"And still no one will shop at the one franchise location still open." ~ pesto_trap_god

Discs

"AOL Internet discs... (actually getting rare these days)." ~ whorton59

"After collecting enough of those AOL discs, I just open a bottle of Tennessee whiskey and make AOL disc fish wall art." ~ ExRockstar

"I wish I still had the picture, but my friend passed onto me a photo of a chair (more like a throne, if I recall) made entirely of AOL discs." ~ PM_MeYourSmilingFace

Discharge

"Outdated phone chargers." ~ TheBrotherhoods

"A correct phone charger for the device, but it only works in one very specific angle and charges the phone super slow." ~ Karl_the_stingray

"People rave about how good old Nokias were but they forget that if you went up a version like you got upgraded to a 3310 from a 3210 then all your chargers were now something like 0.25mm too small and you had to buy all new ones." ~ erroneousbosh

Interpretations...

"We currently misinterpreted what 'naughty kids get coal' originally meant. For a poor family in December, coal was the difference between warmth and freezing, hot food and not. 'Coal' was not something mean. It was like socks, now." ~ adaza

"Exactly. If the child was selfless, they would get a personal gift as a reward. If the child was selfish, they instead would get a gift to be shared with the family, forcing them to be more altruistic." ~ MoobyTheGoldenSock

Necessities...

toilet paper help GIF Giphy

"Toilet paper. Just like coal, it's something the whole house needs and will use but is going to be bought anyway. It's also consumable and practical just like coal." ~ NeverGetaSpaceship

I could still use toilet paper. You never know when society is gonna go off into the deep end again and buy it all up. Remember the beginning of Covid?

Spin

fidget GIF by Future Generations Giphy

"Idk why but I feel like fidget spinners would be pretty infuriating to the masses of children as something that still counts as a gift but is for sure a let down & past trend." ~ mmaster42

Way back when...

"An "Introduction to Windows 95" book." ~ Actual_grass

"There's one of those package shipping stores near me that sells all kinds of miscellaneous stuff. Anything to make a buck. They have a carousel stand with laminated sheets containing tips on how to use various computer programs. Still for sale as of last week: 'Shortcut keys for Windows XP' and 'Tips for using Microsoft Word 2010.'" ~ dartdoug

All Yours...

"He could give kids one of the old cables that was collected over the years but wasn't thrown away because it could need it at some point." ~ CaptWeirdBeard

"I have a tupperware tote full of those things. I'll sell it to Santa for scap value of the copper. You hear that Santa? $5 and it's all yours." ~ GreatJanitor

Dial Up

"A rotary phone." ~ cannotbefaded

"My Grandma had a rotary phone she kept(still worked so why not) as well as having a cordless phone. Had a relative that wanted to use the rotary phone the one time just to use it instead, decided they didn't want to do that again." ~ golden_fli

"Okay, I actually like rotary phones. I was young enough to remember using rotary phones and preferred using them to touch tone phones. Only because it was fun to spin the dial and watch it spin back into place." ~ GreatJanitor

So close...

ronald mcdonald mcdonalds GIF Giphy

"McDonald's toys from 2 years ago. Old enough to not be popular trends, but new enough to not be collector's items." ~ GavinSnowe

McDonald's still has toys? Who knew? And those fidget spinners, how did anyone ever enjoy those? That would set me off as well.


Want to "know" more?

Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.


What is it about someone that captivates you instantly?

Could it be the twinkle in their eye as they talk about their passions? Or perhaps its their overwhelming sense of humor that draws in everyone in the room?

Whatever it might be, everyone has that one trait, that one quality, that can make them instantly interesting to someone listening nearby.

Keep reading... Show less
Kraken Images/Unsplash

Turns out not all of us are interested in being benevolent Gods.

It's Reddit, so we're not exactly surprised, but we're suddenly glad divine cosmic powers don't work this way.

Keep reading... Show less

Are you like me and the 1990s were only 10 years ago?

Yes, I can do the math, but 1990 being 32 years ago still seems unreal.

Why is that?

Maybe it's the fact it marked the end of the 20th century and beginning of the 21st.

Either way, it just doesn't seem that long ago and the nostalgia for the trappings of the 1990s is strong.

Keep reading... Show less

You're probably going to be beat over the head with this as you read this charming article but bedbugs are a nightmare and they are always lurking (in the back of my mind) when I think about purchasing some items secondhand.

Some years ago, a relative brought in a stuffed animal and some other items off the street. Within days we had a bedbug issue.

It was thankfully resolved very quickly–good thing it was caught so early–but let's just say I dealt with phantom itch for a while.

Nooo thank you.

Keep reading... Show less