When I was a kid, my chore was to do the dishes. I absolutely abhorred it.
But when my grandmother came to live with us, she enlightened me with her wisdom of life hacks.
One of them was to remove tea stains from everyone's teacups. No matter how hard I scrubbed with a sponge, it always flustered me that I couldn't remove the stubborn stains, and I always had tons of teacups to wash because we are a family of Japanese herbal tea drinkers.
My grandma taught me that using salt to scrub the stains would do the trick. And sure enough, it did.
I was simply blown away, and for some reason, I started to enjoy washing dishes after being enchanted by the salt rubbing trick.
To this day, washing dishes is a calming ritual that connects me to the memory of my beloved Obachan.
Redditor Irregaurdless asked:
"What small thing happened in your childhood, that has effected you for the rest of your life?"
The Feels
The positive memories stay with us forever.
Design Inspiration
"i went to my older sister's friend's dad's house once when i was a preteen or young teen and i really liked it. took me years into living on my own to realize i'm subconsciously mimicking the interior decorating of that place lol"
Crayon Lady
"I'm the oldest of many kids, and that meant that all of my stuff was always getting wrecked by my younger siblings throughout my childhood. For some reason, I imagine just the goodness of her heart, when I was around six we had a neighbor lady who was friendly with my mom (we moved all the time when I was a kid so we didn't always have relationships with our neighbors) and she kept a box of unbroken crayons and some unscribbled-in coloring books at her house for me and would let me come over and just sit at her coffee table and color all by myself sometimes. I was too young to thank her adequately or even realize how unusual the kindness of her gesture was, but it has always stuck with me. I have crystal clear memories of the quiet of her living room and the joy of crayons that nobody had broken or torn the wrapping off of, and the crisp pages of the coloring books that nobody but me ever colored in."
"I still think about her sometimes and hope good things are happening for her. I am always trying to live up to the memory I have of her and pay her kindness forward."
Better Score
"When I was moving states, my history teacher took me aside after class and showed me over to the computer where he showed me all my grades. He was like 'Oh, this is a B? Nah, I think it's an A' and upped like all my grades a little bit, just because. I don't even know how I reacted or what I said, and it's not like my grades were bad, but the sheer kindness shown by him to do that for really no reason, it impacted me. I like to at least try and pass on some of that kindness from day to day."
Encouraging Father
"My Dad telling me 'you can do this, I know you can'. For the life of me I can't recall what I was doing, but the memory of him saying it is clear as can be. I call that memory up when stuff's going sideways. Never underestimate a praise."
How To Cross The Street
"When I was a young child, maybe 5 or 6, living in a fairly urban place, my grandfather taught me how to cross the street. We had a park across the street, so we were often crossing it. He held my hand and reiterated over and over that you always have to look both ways. Even when the street is one way, you never know when some crazy person may come barreling down the road the wrong way. Not looking both ways is a mistake that can ruin (or end) your life."
"I don't remember specifically learning to tie my shoes, or how to cook pasta, or how to brush my teeth - all those things I just know how to do without recalling being taught and those activities don't trigger any specific memories. But I have always remembered crossing the street over and over with my grandfather and the life-or-death nature of the lesson he taught me."
"My grandfather is long since passed away now, but every time I cross a street I think about him."
"And I always look both ways."
Getting Physical
These Redditors share the memories relating to their physical experiences.
Body Image
"When I overheard one piece of a conversation when I was 7 years old. My aunt was talking on the phone to her relative, and I heard her say 'and now I have to babysit this fat 7 year old', I don't remember anything else. That led to disordered eating and me counting calories from age 7 to about age 14. I still have body image issues, though I don't think it can all be contributed to that one event. But it was certainly the first thing that ever caused me to think of my body negatively."
"The gag is... I was nowhere near fat, I couldn't even be described as a little chubby. My aunt has issues with food and her health and body image and projected that onto me. She watched me for a good part of my childhood while my parents worked and I was always so scared to ask for a snack when I was starving. I would get terrible migraines from playing outside in the summer that would be fixed by eating but I always felt so judged for doing so. I remember another thing that stuck with me was once I wanted some pretzels before my mom picked me up and she said 'Jesus, do you want your a** to be as big as the house?!' Like wtf... I was in the 3rd or 4th grade then. Its f*ked up now that I'm remembering it."
– sanoanxa
Locked Knee
"Got my knee hurt while playing on the street (my knee bent the oposite way and came back to place). Came home crying, my mom sent me to buy some stuff to the supermarket, no excuses, yelled at me for supossedly faking it, I went (supermarket was about three blocks away) and was crying in pain on the way back, so much that my friends carried the bags for me when they saw me. I was so afraid that I asked them to give me the bags when we reached the door, gave the bags to my mom and went to my room."
"Years later, senior year of highschool, same knee pops. Spent a week in bed, couldn't do any exercise for 3 months."
"Second year of college, same knee pops. Now it is a week in bed and the entire summer with a full leg brace and crutches."
"Now my knee can get 'locked' if I try to bent it the wrong way."
"To this day she says it never happened. That and other similar stuff."
Bad Aroma
"I tried to give myself superpowers."
"When I was 5 I decided I wanted to be a rowdy rough boy. I mixed all the liquids from the fridge with all the spices from the cabinet. I then grabbed every chemical bottle I could find and poured it all into a bucket. Right before drinking it I decided to smell it first and I inhaled as deep as I could. I passed out almost immediately and fell forward onto the bowl. The noise alerted my father who rushed in to find me passed out. I woke up several hours later unable to smell. Most of my ability to taste is gone as well."
Scars
As much as uplifting memories stay with us forever, so do the negative ones.
Traumatic Ribbit
"Cousin threw a frog at me when we were little and it got stuck in my shirt. Have been terrified of frogs ever since."
– Tay_phay
Not The Favorite Child
"My sister was killed in a car accident. The following day I overheard my dad tell somebody on the telephone 'No, unfortunately it wasn't [my name].'"
"I've slowly been disconnecting myself from them. They have no idea I know."
– c419331
The Day Childhood Died
"One day my father took away my toys."
"I know this sounds basic but I was about 5 or 6 and out of nowhere my father and 6 brothers came into my room with tubs and took away everything I owned. They took my toy box, stuffed animals, the posters off my wall, my barbie blanket and of course any coloring books really anything you can think of. It killed me inside but I thought if I was good and stayed quiet I would eventually get them back. I'm sad to say I never did. That day I think my childhood died and I turned into a shell for the next 10 years of my life."
It's amazing how a small detail from the past can have lingering effects in life.
I was traumatized after watching the movie Jaws. Ever since then, I've been afraid of the water and going to the deep end of pools.
As an adult, my cynism took over my fear of being devoured by a giant shark. But my distaste for the beach remains.
I'll go to the woods any day as long as I don't hear any dueling banjos playing in my vicinity.
Making mistakes is part of life. Whether you've put your foot in your mouth, flubbed something at work, or lost a valuable item, we all know how it feels to mess up. But when it comes to these people, "mess up" doesn't quite cut it. These errors were more than simple mistakes—they were all out disasters. Sit back and prepare to feel your self esteem go up by 10000%. You may not be perfect, but you've got it together more than these poor souls.
1. Independence
I had just told off my ex-boyfriend, who had been trying to tell me I had become too dependent on him and wouldn't be able to leave. "Screw that," I said, "I am independent. And I don't need you for anything!" Then I dramatically turned to get into my car and drive off...but I had locked my keys inside. Oh, but it gets worse.
The car was still running. I felt like a complete idiot. He had to call and pay for a locksmith because I had no cash and the dude didn't take cards. I will never forget that grin on his face. Dumbest moment of my life.
2. Wrong Room, Lasting Trauma
A friend of mine is a medical intern. There was a patient in her hospital that a whole team of doctors had just convinced the family to remove from life support after weeks. My friend went into the room after reading the wrong patient's chart and told the family she expected the patient to make a full recovery...it was everything that the family had been praying to hear for months, only to find out it wasn't true.
3. The “G” Is Silent
man covering his face with both handsPhoto by @felipepelaquim on UnsplashI once sent a direct mail piece out quoting an Angus Reid poll. Left the "g" out, so of course, the spell-check didn't catch it. Based on the feedback I received, virtually all those who noticed thought it was an improvement.
4. Drive-thru Drive-by
I worked at McDonald's when I was in high school and finally got a better job, with better hours, closer to home after a couple of years there. When I quit, I was annoyed to learn that they wanted my greasy threadbare uniform polo and pants back after I was done. See, I didn't want them, but it seemed cheap and sort of insulting—they were just going to throw them away, same as I would, but they were going to require an extra trip back there for me to do it? No, I don't think so. Screw them.
Keep in mind I was 16 at the time, and apply "I'm such a rebellious free thinker" teenage arrogance to the situation. What happened next makes more sense that way. So, on my last day, I put my plan into action. I went out to my car, stripped down to my boxers, went through the drive-thru, and threw my wadded-up uniform at the woman working the window.
That's when told her to give them to the owner. The look on her face was priceless. I drove off, music blaring, feeling ridiculously happy and proud of what I had just done, and happened to run into a friend of mine who was also cruising around. I explained why I wasn't wearing a shirt or pants, he laughed and said we should go get something to eat.
Sure, no problem, I'll just change into the clothes I brought, grab my wallet, and...Ah, crud. That’s right. My wallet was still in the pocket of the pants I'd thrown in the drive-thru window. I had to slink back in, sheepishly ask someone to search through the trash for me to find my pants and find my wallet. They did. I didn't go back to that McDonald's for years.
5. Talk About a Hot Ride
Worked at Circuit City circa 2005 installing car audio. One of my co-workers put a satellite radio in a brand-new BMW but apparently wired something wrong. As we were just about to send it off to the client, we watched as the car began to smoke. The thing burned to the ground and all we could do was watch. Oops!
6. It’s The Little Things That Trip You up
man in blue v neck sweater smilingPhoto by Shane on UnsplashI scored an interview for a dream job. I did all of my research about the company, bought a new suit, the whole shebang. I gave the man interviewing me a firm handshake, answered all of his questions easily, and felt pretty confident. After finishing the otherwise flawless interview, we shook hands again, and I said, "Thank you sir." To my horror, she replied: "It’s Ma'am."
7. It’s All Fun and Games Until Someone Loses a Toe
One day, I was taking a long leg cast off of a kid who was about three years old. After I got the cast split open, I started to pull it off, and the Mother suddenly said, "Oh, his toe fell off." I chuckled and replied, “Nice one,” thinking she was joking. She gave me a really angry look. It turned out that the kid had been in the cast because his small toe had been nearly amputated and then reattached.
The doctor was hoping that what tissue was still connected would be enough to vascularize the distal portion. It wasn't. The kid's toe had rotted and fallen off. Whoops.
8. Insured Losses
About 10 years ago, I got a part-time job that miraculously offered health insurance. Unfortunately, the paperwork they gave me when I started only listed the insurance rates for full-time employees, which was something like $60 a paycheck. I didn't even realize there would be a difference for me until I got my first paycheck and it totaled about $20.
I called HR in panic mode certain that there must be some mistake only to be informed that for the number of hours I was working, health insurance was $400 per paycheck. And no, I couldn't cancel my enrollment unless I had a "qualifying life event." I took home $20 paychecks for four months until open enrollment ended when I could finally cancel.
Luckily, I had another job at the time so I wasn't out on the street, but it certainly taught me a lesson about carefully reading paperwork.
9. Musical Urinals
Most Outrageous Snacks Snuck Into A Movie TheaterPhoto by Felipe Bustillo on UnsplashWe went to a movie. During the movie, she got up to go to the bathroom. After she left, I thought I could run to the bathroom myself, and be back before her (for some reason, I thought it would be rude to leave her alone). When I came back to our seats, she was already there but I didn't give it much thought.
I hung out at her place for a bit afterward, gave her a kiss goodnight, and went home thinking that I just had a pretty nice date. A week later, after she wouldn't return any of my calls, I asked our mutual friend who introduced us what the deal was. Turns out that when I went to the bathroom, I accidentally walked into the women's room.
I peed in the stall next to her, and she recognized the boots I was wearing. She was totally freaked out. When I finally got a hold of her and tried to explain myself, she told me she was moving to Turkey to get back together with her ex-boyfriend.
10. Hi, I’m Stupid
Oof, I knew a guy named Ben who had the worst tattoo backfire of all time. He was obsessed with Asian culture, especially China, and he got a tattoo of his name (as a Chinese symbol) on his bicep. Instead of introducing himself when he was in Chinatown, he'd just point at his tattoo. Here's the problem: Ben in pinyin = “pen” (pronounced pe-hn, which does sound like an Asianfied “Ben”). But “pen” in Mandarin means stupid. Dude introduced himself as stupid for years. As far as I know no one has ever told him.
11. Dearest Ex Wife
I used to work at a call center for a popular gift company. This one couple calls up and says "we need to cancel our order!" I look it up, and tell them UPS already has the order to deliver it. They tell me, "You don't understand. We are sending this to our son and his wife. We accidentally put his ex wife's name on the card. It will ruin Christmas if they receive this gift!!!" I was finally able to call UPS and get them to not deliver the package. Not my screw up, but dang.
12. Sweet Disaster
black Nokia candybar phonePhoto by Isaac Smith on UnsplashI went on a blind date with a sweet guy that my friends all said was perfect for me. We order a small snack for our coffee and as it's arriving at the table and we're chatting, he pulls out his Nokia phone. Trying to make a lighthearted joke, I say, "MAN, that has got to be the oldest phone I've seen in a while." I really dug it in, trying to break that awkward first date wall. Well, it turns out that it was not a Nokia, it was something much more embarrassing. It was his insulin pump.
13. Rush Order
At the company where I worked, there was a new trading assistant named Eli on the floor who thoroughly believed he was The Guy. He was going to take the world by storm and decided he was next in line to make partner. Only first, he was assigned the task of sending in an option exercise one Friday afternoon in order to capture a particularly large special dividend.
Poor Eli knew how to do it, but he was in a bit of a rush. He sent the fax through to the broker and then left before getting the confirmation. The fax failed and the options weren't exercised, costing the firm about $150,000. Poor Eli was met by a very angry head trader at the door on Monday morning and he got his walking papers. Poor Eli.
14. Nailed It
I still have nightmares about this date.When I was about 20 or so, I got a date with a girl who I really liked, she was exactly my type and I couldn't believe my luck. We met in a local pub for a few drinks and things were great. I was getting all the good signs with lots of hand touching and the like. An hour of pure bliss went by and I needed to pee.
After washing my hands, I went to the hand dryer only to find that it didn't work. I wanted to dry my hands because I wanted more of the hand-holdy stuff. Then I had the single stupidest idea of my life. I thought, "I can fix this!" and put my hand inside the nozzle of the dryer. WHY!? WHY!? Obviously, I got buzzed by the electric heating element, fell back, and cracked my head on the wall.
I didn't get knocked out but I needed a few minutes to sort myself out before going back. I didn't have the guts to tell her what had happened; dumb idea number two. I had a banging headache and I wasn’t quite right. Not much later she made her excuses and left and turned me down when I asked her for a second date. A year or so later I found out she had told her friend that she really liked me, but I went to the toilet and came out acting really weird and she "wasn't up for dating someone on drugs."
15. Bad Math
silver and gold round coins in boxPhoto by Kenny Eliason on UnsplashI offered to pay for the bill on a first date with a gorgeous girl. She insisted to pay half. I didn’t fight it, but I only had a large bill so I did some mental math, pocketed her money and put my bill in. Anyway, long story short, I did the math wrong and ended up fleecing 20 bucks from her. She sarcastically said, "Thank you," and I thought she was being sincere. I'm an idiot.
16. Don’t Mess With the Internet
Not my mistake, but I think our CEO wins this. I used to work for a telecom company and our CEO went to a site to look at our new fiber optic shelter. While going around the shelter, he accidentally stepped on fiber that was transmitting more than a quarter of the data of our country. All our country had outbound connection problems for 18 hours.
It affected more than 10 million people.
17. One Wild Ride
After a date, I dropped the girl off in the parking lot where her car was parked. We said goodbye to each other and parted ways without a kiss, as it was our first date. As she got out and began walking across the parking lot, I suddenly got the courage to whip my car around, stop it right in front of her, get out, and kiss her.
In my head, it was going to be like something out of a movie. In real life, I pulled up to her, forgot to put the car in park, got out, walked away from the car, watched her look at me in horror and point, turned around, and ran towards my car as it slammed into another parked car. Just a typical day in my life really…
18. Trashy Day
three silver keysPhoto by Jozsef Hocza on UnsplashI threw my keys away. It doesn’t sound like that big of a deal, but I threw them down a chute into a large apartment trash compactor so retrieval was impossible. I had to pay a locksmith to let me in my apartment since it was the middle of the night. Then the next day I had to pay a tow truck to tow my car to the dealership which was huge ordeal because he couldn't fit inside the parking garage of my apartment complex. We had to break into my car, have a dummy key made, jimmy it into neutral and push it down the ramp.
Finally, I had to pay a nice chunk of money to get fancy new keys made. I then had to contact the realtor for the house I had just bought and received the keys for that same freaking week and explain what happened and get a new set of keys made for the house. And this all made me miss a day of work. That was a fun day.
19. It’s The Thought That Counts
I offered my seat to an elderly lady on the bus. Turned out she wasn't that old and felt offended, so she screamed at me for the entire ride home.
20. Almost Infecting Yourself
Pathologist here. Biggest mistake I ever made was cutting myself during an autopsy on an HIV patient. Lucky for me, I did not acquire the virus, so everything had a happy ending (For me, anyway. That guy was still dead.)
21. Getting Hot in the Cockpit
man in blue shirt driving car during daytimePhoto by Rayyu Maldives on UnsplashDad retired with 36,000 hours, closest disaster was almost a cockpit fire. So I got the short story from him: He was supposed to fly from Orlando to Boston, but as he was taking off, he noticed that there was a lot of super hot air pouring into the cockpit. What had happened is instead of wiring the engine valve shut like the mechanics were supposed to, they wired the valve wide open.
As I understand it, the engine valve usually automatically regulates the amount of hot air that the engine bleeds into the cockpit. However, the wiring they did made it so the maximum amount of hot air was coming in continuously from the engine. He made an emergency landing in Jacksonville, and by the time they landed, they couldn't touch the controls and they were using clothing as oven mitts.
He said he and his co-pilot were also completely drenched in sweat.
22. Spam-a-Lot
I once worked for a music PR company. My first job was to send a promotional email out to about 1,000 journalists. I forgot to BCC every one and instead just CC'ed them. 90% of the mailing list unsubscribed. As you can imagine, those 1,000 journalists were this PR company's bread and butter. I…did not keep my job for long.
23. Kickfall
This one time in sixth grade we were playing kickball in gym class. I went to a private school, so I was wearing a white polo and grey slacks. Well, I had just started playing football so I was bragging that I could kick the ball really far. Mind you I was the short little pudgy kid everyone picked on. Well, I was up to kick, I pointed way into the outfield, ran at the ball and tried to kick it realllllly hard.
Well, not only did I completely miss the ball, I farted really loud as my leg fully extended and ripped my pants and underwear down my butt, then I fell right back into a puddle of mud. Everyone started falling over laughing, even the gym teacher who pitched the ball to me.
24. No Kids Allowed
File:Kyle Pacek.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.orgMy place of work has a 21 and over policy after nine pm, and a group of people walked in and I immediately assumed they walked in with their child because I couldn’t see her over the counter. So I said, “Hey guys I’m sorry but we’re 21 and over right now.” Turns out she had dwarfism. Oh my lord. I tried to save myself by apologizing and telling them they all looked young despite obviously referring to her earlier. MORTIFIED.
25. It Runs in the Family
Was at a friend's brother's 21st birthday party and was standing around talking with some other guys. On the driveway, a bunch of girls were dancing to the music. It was a really chill night. But it was about to get a lot chillier. The guy next to me said to the guy on his other side "How about the rack on that blonde chick?" The other guy replied, "That's my daughter.”
26. Like A Canary
I was the director of an a cappella group. During auditions, I projected sheet music from my tablet. After one girl finished her audition, the assistant director texted me from across the room, “Oh, that was awful.” My tablet received the message, and everyone saw the notification...including the girl who’d just auditioned.
27. Chubby Chaser
person doing kanji calligraphyPhoto by Marco Zuppone on UnsplashDude was so proud of his grandson that he wanted a tattoo that said “I love my grandson” in Chinese characters. Except I’m guessing everyone just googled “I love my grand son” because it came out reading “I love fat boys.” Whoops.
28. Thank You, Facebook Robot
I was sending an "adult" link to my girlfriend and accidentally shared it to my facebook wall instead of in a message. I don't know how, I must have been tired or something. We're talking some really bad stuff here. I didn't even realize I'd done it until the following day. I woke up to so many messages. The worst one was from my grandma...
29. Big Tech
I used to work in the inventory department of an aerospace company. They did repairs mostly on Boeing hydraulic units. There are some very expensive parts on those planes! One in particular was about an inch long, and cost over $11,000. I saw the price tag and couldn't believe my eyes. I'd seen expensive parts before, but never one so small.
Being the idiot that I am, I took the part out of the little baggie that it was in, snapped a picture of it to show my friends, and put it back in the bag. I came back to my desk later that day to put it back in inventory, and it was gone. I lost it. I had absolutely no idea where the part went. I was a bit panicked, but I didn't think it was too big of a deal.
The part had never been needed and had been in our inventory for over two years collecting dust, so I felt like I had some time to search for it. I kid you not, the following day, we had a job that required that part. I almost passed out right at my desk.
30. Accidental Hypocrite
three people walking near man riding bicycle on street near ambulancePhoto by Benjamin Voros on UnsplashI’m a paramedic. Just two weeks ago, we had a call to pick up a paraplegic at a nursing home. He had called 9-1-1 himself because he had end-stage cancer and was in constant pain, and he was claiming that the nursing staff wouldn't give him pain medication. Turns out that was exactly what was happening, so I played hero and lectured the staff. Then I totally blew it.
I returned to the man’s room and saw that my partner and our student had him on the cot already. Forgetting he was paraplegic because I was still flustered about the nurses, when I buckled the straps over his legs, I thoughtlessly said, "Let me know if these are too tight on you." Totally straight-faced, he replied, "I can't, I'm a paraplegic." I wanted to disappear.
31. Save Some Cringe for the Rest of Us
A female friend of mine–to whom I was admittedly attracted–had been expressing her reservations about an upcoming vacation with her family. Though it wasn't being overtly presented as such, the trip was meant as a way of re-solidifying her parents' marriage, which had been more than a touch rocky at the time.
They would all be driving from San Francisco to a small town in Northern California, where they'd stay at a bed-and-breakfast inn for a weekend before continuing northward for some unknown destination. In keeping with the alleged purpose of this so-called vacation, two rooms had been booked at the inn in question.
To her dismay, though, my friend discovered that her mother would be occupying one room, her father would have the other, and that she and her sister would each have to bunk with one of their parents. This was worthy of lament on its own, but it was made unforgivably worse by the verbal diarrhea that I offered in an attempt at providing comfort:
"Aw, it won't be so bad!" I told my friend. "Your father will probably enjoy sleeping with you." A moment passed before I realized what I had said. Then, with a feeling of growing horror, I tried to explain myself. Suddenly, I made it 10 times more awkward. "Wait, I didn't mean it like that!" I hurriedly said. "I mean, like, he's probably sick of sleeping with your mom."
"No, wait, I mean... I just mean that he wants to spend some quality time with his daughter." If I had stopped there, I might have been able to salvage the situation, but as it happened, I decided that the best course of action would be to keep talking. "I can't say that I blame him, really. I'd love to sleep with you." She and I don't talk much these days.
32. The Mac Daddy Of Mess ups
At the first advertising agency I worked at, one of our clients was an oil drilling company. I was working on some very standard ads for them, one of which had the headline, "FASTER, FARTHER, DEEPER." I made a typo that caused the ad to read, "FASTER, FATHER, DEEPER." Thankfully, my Creative Director caught it before it went to the client.
We all had a big (nervous) laugh about it and the original ended up on the creative department's wall.
33. Just Didn’t Click
person using MacBook ProPhoto by Campaign Creators on UnsplashI made a mistake sorting a list of addresses with Excel. I didn't select all the columns and consequently sent couriers to 400 addresses that didn't exist. It cost something like $8,000.
34. Crystal Clear Idiot
I broke a champagne flute at a wedding once. It was one of the bride and groom's matched set. I was picking up cake plates and saw the glass on the edge of the table, told myself, "Be really careful, that's at a bad spot," and then proceeded to tap it just enough to knock it off the table to the ground, shattered. The glasses were crystal and a family heirloom passed down through their Jewish family from before the Holocaust.
I have never felt more guilty or terrible in my life. I still think about it sometimes and want to curl up in a ball and die.
35. Slippery When Wet
Oh God…here goes. Working at McDonald's three years ago, little kid spills coke on the floor. I happily wander over to clean it up. Mop that stuff up lightning fast with a smile and everybody is happy. Go behind the counter and retrieve the “slippery when wet” sign to place over the newly-cleaned area, and when I get there, distracted by something, I slip! Embarrassing right? You have no idea...
My foot slips out like a javeline and kicks a baby's high chair, the baby's head whiplashes against his table so hard both of his shoes fall right off. I just stared in horror at the family. I place the sign down like an idiot and run back behind the kitchen for my dear life. Then I proceeded to crack up in the most maniacal nervous laughter accented with breaths of horror. What had I done?!
36. Filling With Poop
medical professionals workingPhoto by Piron Guillaume on UnsplashI'm not the doctor, but a couple years ago my father went in for a colonoscopy after experiencing abdominal pain. His doctor was a pretty young guy, and the procedure went routinely, with one "growth" removed for biopsy.
Within hours of the surgery, my dad spiked a fever of 105 F and went to the emergency room. With no idea what happened, the doctors opened him up to find actual poop all over his body cavity. The young doctor had removed my dad's appendix tie-off scar, which had been done using an out-of-date method from the 90s. He had no idea what it would look like, and didn't realize what he was cutting off, basically popping a poop balloon inside my dad's body.
He's okay now, but he nearly died. We didn't sue, but the hospital paid for the colonoscopy and the following emergency procedures for us, which was nice of them.
37. Studying Hard
I was attending a school that did a drawing for free housing each year. It was a big production with prizes given out throughout the night with the big prize of free housing for a year, about $5,000, given out at the end. I stayed for most of the night but decided to study instead of stick around for the drawing. Guess who was called out first? You had to be present to win.
38. Slow Drip
There was a leak from my bathroom upstairs to the kitchen right underneath it. Every time someone would shower, water would slowly begin to drip into the kitchen. I thought there was a leak somewhere in the drainpipe and I took the kitchen ceiling down looking for it. And this was an old home, so there was this cement type of plaster with metal latticework through it on top of wooden slats.
It took forever to expose the drainpipe...only to find out that the little knob thing on the shower faucet that you pull up to turn on the shower had broken and I just needed to replace that. That piece costs me $7. Then I had to completely replace my kitchen ceiling.
39. Walk It Off
woman riding wheelchair near treesPhoto by Zachary Kyra-Derksen on UnsplashI was discussing a recent surgery I had at work to a bunch of people, including a lady with spina bifida who lives in a wheelchair. I specifically was talking about how annoyed I was by not being able to walk for three weeks. I revisit that one a lot.
40. Beyond Remedy
I work in pharmaceutical manufacturing. A co-worker of mine in error threw away a filter used to sterilize drugs before it is filled into syringes, vials, or whatever. The company searched through a local landfill looking for it. Without this filter being tested for integrity, the product cannot be verified as sterile.
The filter was never found and the entire lot was thrown out. The total loss was nearly $2.5 million USD.
41. An Old One And Not A Good One
This was in high school. She invited me to her house to have dinner with her family and I didn't know them very well yet. The conversation turned to names we thought were old-fashioned and ugly-sounding. We all threw out a few like Gertrude, Bertha, and Eugene, and then I said the one thing that ruined everything.
I said, "At least that one's not as bad as Deborah!" I used my ugly voice and everything. Her mom's name is Deborah. Her grandmother was also at the table with us.
42. Forgetting To Lock The Tiger Away
brown and black tiger showing tonguePhoto by Kartik Iyer on UnsplashOnce I left a door to a tiger's enclosure unlocked and let the tiger back in after I was done cleaning. Walked by a couple minutes later doing a lock check, realized my mistake, and nonchalantly placed the lock back on the door and kept walking past coworkers while internally freaking out.
I could have gotten myself or someone else mauled by a tiger that day.
43. A Life Well-Lived Isn’t Over Yet
Not commercial, but hobby flyer. I was out with a couple of mates on a nice day, and we decided to all go out. I don’t have my pilot's license, but a mate offered to let me take over. Anyway, we’re flying at a medium kinda altitude, when out of the corner of my eye, I noticed our altitude drop significantly—my heart leaps into my throat and I panicked.
My friends didn’t notice. I started remembering things in my life: my first bike ride; my dad walking in on me shoving a chessboard in my butt and telling me we got a new puppy; my first love. I told my friend, a more experienced pilot, who politely told me that the dial was just broken, and the altitude was fine.
44. Tinder Stack
I accidentally left a stack of paper coffee cups next to the stove. Shortly after I headed home from my shift, I heard sirens go wailing by. The restaurant was on fire and when they put it out, there was several hundred thousand dollars in damage for equipment alone. Needless to say, I was fired and then under investigation for quite a while afterward.
45. Runaway Driver
child in yellow hoodie sitting on strollerPhoto by Marina Abrosimova on UnsplashI was working on one of those TV shows where you do stupid things in public and film people’s reactions. In the skit we were doing, a man would be jogging with a stroller containing a life-like baby doll, and I was going to hit him with a car. The jogger was wearing bright green—they dress funny on these shows so that you don't mix up the cast with pedestrians. So, I'm cruising up to the stop sign in a beat-up old ford, my adrenaline is really pumping.
This was my first time actually being involved in a skit. I see the bright green jumpsuit, and I rev it—but when I realized what was happening it was too late. I hit the wrong guy. It was just some dude jogging with his kid. I realized what happened when the guy I hit didn't jump onto the hood the way you're supposed to in these stunts. I honestly don't remember anything about the incident after that, I was in shock. The dad had a few broken bones, the baby was fine.
Needless to say, there was a huge settlement paid out. I'm currently pursuing an unrelated career.
46. Nepotism Doesn’t Work, People
I lost my father's company three million dollars in assets due to a typo. As an 18-year-old intern.
47. Having Your Heart Ripped Out
My brother is a surgeon, and during part of his residency, he had to work in the pediatric unit. He was working with two newborns. One was getting much better and fighting for life. He was going to make it just fine. The other baby was hours from death. He wasn't going to make it. My brother was in charge of informing the families.
My brother realized about 15 minutes later that he had mixed up the families. He told the family with the healthy baby that their baby wasn't going to make it, and he told the family with the dying baby that their baby was going to be just fine. He then had to go back out to the families and explain the situation to them.
How devastating. To be given a glimmer of hope and have it ripped away from you not even an hour later. That was most upset I've heard my brother. He felt destroyed.
48. Under Pressure
person slicing vegetablePhoto by Jonathan Borba on UnsplashI cooked a romantic Valentine’s Day dinner for an ex of mine back in 2002 or so. I was making some sort of chicken dish. I put it in a pot to cook. Meanwhile, my girl and I were hanging out in the bedroom while it was cooking. Let’s just say we got a little “preoccupied” for the next little while. Then, a few minutes later, I suddenly thought “Uh oh, the chicken!” and went running downstairs to check on it.
I ran into the kitchen completely naked and grabbed the lid off. Apparently, I had unknowingly used my roommate’s pressure cooker. I didn’t actually know what a pressure cooker was at the time, but I definitely do now! I forced the lid open and got boiling water all over my stomach, arms, and private area. I spent the rest of that Valentine's Day in the emergency room getting burns treated.
49. Second Time Is Not A Charm
This will probably get buried and although I am a doctor this was NOT me but this happened to a doctor I know.
A patient had gone in for surgery on their right knee. The surgeon did surgery and everything was fine except he did the surgery on the wrong knee. Fast forward a few days and the patient returned for surgery on the correct knee. The surgeon did surgery on the patient's knee and forgot a sponge in the knee. The wrong knee, once again.
50. Explosive Touch
I blew my hand up with a firework. The surgery alone to fix the five bones I broke cost $27,000. That doesn't include two casts, pain meds, physical therapy, and two braces.
Redditor chrispdx was curious to hear which foods people eat in wildly different manners than intended, leading them to ask:
"What's a food that you eat completely different than it's normally eaten?"
No Method, Just Eat!
"Unfortunately for my health I eat most food like Kirby."- gildorratner
Deconstructed Pizza
"Not me (because its bonkers) but a friend."
"Scrapes all the cheese/toppings off the pizza and eats the slice first."
"Does this with several slices then eats all the cheese/toppings at the end."
"It makes me insane."- FantasticPear
From Bottom To Top
"I like to flip muffins upside down, remove the wrapper, and eat them from the bottom up."
"It's less messy, and the top is the best part because it's got better textures."
"Obviously, this does not work when they're dusted with sugar or have other toppings thrown on top."- NoMoreMonkeyBrain
time muffin GIFGiphyNo Time To Peel
"Not me but I saw someone go into an orange with the peel on and I almost passed out."- greenteaburnout
Fingers Be Damned
"I eat popcorn by darting my tongue at each piece the way a frog eats flies."- Lowerea
But Do You Eat The Crust?
"I eat sandwiches in a circular way.. like I spiral it."
"After 8 years together my wife finally noticed last week and asked wtf is wrong with me."- SkydivingSquid
sandwich GIFGiphyME TOO! (Honestly, I DO! And I Dip Them In Blue Cheese Crumbles...)
"I eat croutons out of the bag like chips."- Admirable_Cycle2
Saving The Best For Last
"Not in public, but when I'm home alone away from judging eyes..."
"...I eat the crust off my mozzarella sticks first, and then pop the whole blob of melted mozzarella into my mouth."
"So cheesey, so salty, so satisfying, and best of all: no sad flour flavor."- Fyraen
oreo GIF
Honestly, Not A Terrible Idea
"I don't still do it because I have learned better but the packets of instant ramen that you cook in the Pan."
"I never knew it was supposed to be a soup with noodles."
"My dad taught me that you cook them down until all of the liquid is completely gone and you end up with flavored noodles."
"The noodles then would become a side for a liver sausage sandwich on rye bread, never anything else, just with that sandwich!"- mkrzemin
Much Less Messy
"I cut the corn off the cob with a knife."
"It all gets stuck in my teeth otherwise."- Plus-Statistician80
Personal Taste... Literally
"I prefer some fruits less ripe because I prefer sour."- BasuraIncognito
raisels fruit splash GIFGiphyHold The Crunch
"Capt'n Crunch."
"I suck all the milk out of every bite, then chew."
"It's basically like trying to chew sandpaper, but the sensory effects of it are super satisfying."- cthulucore
Time Consuming, But Worth It
"I meticulously remove the center of a Reese's peanut butter cup, consume all the peanut butter first without breaking the chocolate ring, and then eat the ring by itself at the end."- PetersWolf4212
Crunchy Munchies!
"Dry cereal."
"Love the taste of just the cereal & I dislike milk."
"Don’t like it when crispy foods get soggy, so I just eat dry cereal w/ a spoon & wash down with my coffee."- Confident-Bid142
Hungry Lucky Charms GIF by Dark IglooGiphyThere's a more than likely chance that someone will give you side-eye, or even scoff at you should you eat your food differently than they do.
As long as the food tastes delicious, that's their problem and not yours.
And who wouldn't agree that the top is the best part of the muffin?
Redditor Own_Championship7862 wanted everyone to share some off-the-wall facts, so they asked:
"What’s an unusual fact that most people don’t know?"
I have no odd and fabulous facts to share.
So teach me. I am a sponge.
Keep them All!!
Friends Infomercial GIFGiphy"When someone gets a kidney transplant they generally just cram the new one in and don't take out the old ones. So the person ends up with three kidneys."
Optimal_Towel
"They continue this with multiple kidney transplants too. Had a patient recently on her third transplant and yep, there are five kidneys crammed into her abdomen. Too risky to take any of the other ones out."
baconboy73
Body Works
"When going to surgery for a gunshot, we don't typically search for bullets. The body will encapsulate it to protect itself."
New-Inspector-9628
"As I remember Rene Pretre a worldwide famous surgeon talking about this: There's a lot more about the decision to either leave the bullet or do get it out. It depends on a lot of factors. In the old times, as medicine was not that good, it was a thing that they could not get the bullets out when it was in a difficult position inside the bodies. Today, it's different."
"Also, it depends on the bullet itself, not every bullet stays solid - a bullet can be halfway shattered without having the effect of a dumdum bullet, later in the process of healing it could still be that fragments get off and make problems. Today, it's also easier to prevent and treat infections, this was a big killer in the old times."
Diacetyl-Morphin
Growing and Growing
"I have recently learned that Lobsters don't display senescence which is the deterioration of the body as it ages. Their bodies are continuously growing and their exoskeletons get heavier and heavier, hence when they molt into a new exoskeleton it takes more and more energy to take off the old one."
"Eventually they die because one day they just go, 'Yeeeeeaaaah sooo like this exoskeleton is too heavy so imma just go meet Lobster God and head out from the mortal world.'"
"Now a thought... If a group of people helped a lobster shed it's exo- skeleton... And if said lobster kept growing... Technically, a giant lobster could be brought into existence should the lobster not die from old age."
FunnyComedian8290
Get Out
"More eels swim out of the Bermuda Triangle than swim into it."
Optimal_Towel
"Most eel species breed in the Sargasso Sea - aka the Bermuda Triangle. There’s a type of seaweed that lives on the top of the ocean called Sargassum that turtles, eels, and a bunch of animals use as a breeding ground. Eels go there, lay their eggs, little silver eels babies pop out and go back home."
roseygrl98
Revolutions
Venus GIF by The TelegraphGiphy"A day on Venus (one complete rotation around its axis) is longer than a year (a complete revolution around the sun) on Venus."
GRL_1151
The galaxy is too cool.
We'll never know enough.
Head Butt Time
giraffes fighting GIFGiphy"The male giraffe will continuously headbutt the female in the bladder until she urinates. The male then tastes the pee and that helps it determine whether the female is ovulating. If she is, it’s business time."
hornypandey
Go Vanillla
"Wearing white wedding dresses only came into fashion after Queen Victoria started the trend. White isn’t meant to have any other meaning or represent purity as many people think. Before this trend, most brides just wore their best dress of any color as it was expensive to buy a dress just for the occasion."
week7
Active Ingredients
"I love when this question comes up because I get to talk about the thunder clappers."
"When the Lewis and Clark expedition was exploring the west of North America, their diet of dried meat left them constipated. They were all taking these pills called thunder clappers to make themselves sh*t. The active ingredient in thunder clappers is mercury, and historians can track the expedition because they left increased deposits of mercury in the soil."
KerchBridgeSmoker
Color Schemes
"Pink used to be a masculine color."
"During the height of the British Empire, the soldiers in the far reaches of the world donned their red coats in battle and patrol. The newer recruits would look especially sharp with a bold red color. The rugged war heroes though? Their coats were faded and worn into more of a pink color."
"If you saw a guy wearing a pink coat, odds are they have stories to tell with a thousand-yard stare. This became a desirable thing to show off your experience and grit. Hence pink was associated with combat prowess and ruggedness and became a masculine color during that time."
ChristIsLordAlmighty
War Incentives?
Ice Cream Elmo GIF by SésamoGiphy"In WWII, the American navy had barges with ice cream bars on them to visit soldiers in the Pacific after battles as a way of boosting morale."
Not-sure-wtf-I-am
Yuck!
"McDonald's engineered bubblegum flavored broccoli in an attempt to get kids to eat more vegetables.
"They still didn't want to eat it."
cmad182
I love broccoli.
I love gum.
I would not eat them as one.
We can't learn everything in school, and maybe that's a good thing—because these bizarre historical facts are too weird for a textbook. Like Abraham Lincoln's other assassination, Thomas Edison's little-known dark side, or Mozart's obsession with butts...and that's just naming a few. Strap in for this VERY strange ride.
1. Queen Elizabeth Had A Nasty Mouth
Although dental hygiene was not necessarily at its peak in Tudor England, Queen Elizabeth I’s fondness for sweets gave her pearly whites an even darker tone...in fact, her chompers were probably very black. More than that, since sugar was a luxury, some women then blackened their teeth both to emulate their queen and show off their wealth.
2. Thomas Edison Was Evil
The famous inventor Thomas Edison had a huge dark side not many people know about. For example, he used electricity to publicly kill animals. He wanted to show how alternating current was more dangerous than the "direct" current that he used. On one occasion, he used A/C to execute a rogue circus elephant named "Topsy" in front of thousands of people.
3. Alexander The Great's Mother Was Scary
File:Cassandre et Olympia-Jean Joseph Taillasson mg 8223.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.org
Queen Olympias was Alexander the Great's mother, and she was even more ruthless than her son. On one occasion, she sent a captive enemy queen a cup of poison, a noose, and a sword...then told her to choose how she would die. According to history, the woman chose to hang herself, though she cursed Olympias to the very end of her life.
4. Napoleon Used His Wife As A "Womb"
Napoleon Bonaparte famously adored his wife Josephine, but few people remember the dark end of their love affair. Tragically, Josephine couldn't have children, so Napoleon made a hard choice: He divorced Josephine and took up with Marie-Louise of Austria. Napoleon reportedly told his blushing bride straight off, “It is a womb that I am marrying.”
5. Ernest Hemingway Almost Died In Back-To-Back Plane Crashes
In 1954, the macho writer Ernest Hemingway got into a plane crash. He miraculously survived, but that was just the start of the nightmare. When he tried to take another plane to get medical help, that plane exploded upon taking off. Hemingway managed to survive again. Talk about bad luck. Or wait a minute...actually, is that good luck?
6. King Edward VIII Was A Colossal Jerk
King Edward VIII and Mrs Simpson on holiday in Yugoslavia,… | Flickrwww.flickr.com
King Edward VIII lost his brother Prince John at a young age from a severe seizure. The boy had suffered from epilepsy and other ailments for years, but Edward’s response was so disturbing, it’s impossible to forget. He referred to John’s passing as “little more than a regrettable nuisance.”
7. The FBI Knew About Pearl Harbor
The FBI ignored compelling evidence about the attack on Pearl Harbor because they didn’t trust the Serbian double agent Dusan Popov, who was apparently a gambling, lustful lush. Dusan's nickname around town was "tricycle" because of his infamous love of threesomes. Unsurprisingly, he was one of the inspirations for Ian Fleming’s James Bond.
8. There Were Original "Siamese Twins"
Two Siam natives, Chang and Eng Bunker, were American twins joined at the sternum. During the American Civil War in 1865, Eng’s name was drawn in a draft lottery, but not Chang's. There was little the conscription officials could do: The brothers were not only joined at the sternum, but their livers were also fused. Neither twin served in the conflict.
9. Ben Franklin Had Bodies In His Basement
File:Joseph Siffrein Duplessis - Benjamin Franklin - Google Art ...en.wikipedia.org
While renovating his home into a museum, researchers made a horrific discovery at Ben Franklin's house. They found 10 bodies in the founding father's basement. This led to speculation he may have been a serial killer. However, the bodies were more likely cadavers used for the anatomical studies of one of Franklin’s friends.
10. You Can Use Honey For Some Messed-Up Activities
King Herod, the tyrant king of Judea, had his wife, Mariamne I, preserved in honey after her death. Herod ordered her execution, but found her too beautiful to bury and so kept and preserved her body for seven years. Herod suffered from paranoid delusions, rage, and arteriosclerosis, but his death in 4 BCE came at the hands of a mysterious and agonizing illness that modern doctors are still not able to identify.
At one point, the pain was so excruciating, the king attempted to take his own life. The illness came to be known, among the Judean people, as “Herod’s Evil.”
11. Abraham Lincoln Cheated Death Once
Abraham Lincoln was almost killed two years before he was assassinated. Late one August evening in 1863, Lincoln rode alone by horse to his family’s summer residence. A private at the gate heard a shot ring out and, moments later, a bareheaded Lincoln clinging to his steed galloped into the yard. Lincoln explained that gunfire at the foot of the hill had sent his horse into a frenzied gallop, running so fast that it knocked his hat off.
The two men retrieved Lincoln’s hat, which had a bullet hole in it. Lincoln asked the guards to keep the incident quiet because he didn’t want to worry his wife...
12. Public Beddings Were A Thing
File:Catherine de Médicis - entourage de François Clouet.jpg ...commons.wikimedia.org
Catherine de Medici was only 14 when she married Henri, the son of King Francis. And although she was young, the King and other older men insisted on watching the consummation of the marriage.
13. The Most Ruthless French Queen
The Tour de Nesle affair was a scandal in the French royal family in 1314. In it, Queen Isabella of England accused her sisters-in-law of adultery. The scandal led to the imprisonment of the women and the execution of their lovers. The lovers were then executed. Most histories agree that they were first castrated and then drawn and quartered.
14. Marie Curie Slowly Killed Herself
Marie Curie, the chemist who conducted pioneering research on radioactivity, was completely in the dark when it came to the dangers of radioactive materials. Though she and her husband both suffered from chronic pain, neither considered that it was their radioactive substance-handling that was the cause. It was. Some of their original lab equipment is still so radioactive that we cannot safely view or study them.
15. George Bush Coined An Unfortunate Word
File:George H. W. Bush presidential portrait (cropped 2) (a).jpg ...commons.wikimedia.org
After George Bush Sr. vomited on the Japanese Prime Minister, the Japanese invented a new word: Bushusuru. This means to “do the Bush thing” or to “publicly vomit.”
16. Gandhi Liked To Tempt Himself With Young Women
Today we see Gandhi as a figure of peaceful protest and understanding. But there's a side of him no one knows. At the age of 36, while married, Gandhi became more and more obsessed with lust. In order to train and “perfect” his control over his desires, Gandhi would sleep undressed with young women. But one night, he committed an act so heinous that it made his own staff member quit on him forever.
Gandhi had performed this sleeping act with his own grand-niece named Manu. His stenographer left in disgust.
17. The Most Notorious Hollywood Eccentric
Howard Hughes was one of the most successful men of his time, producing many famous movies and dating Hollywood's most beautiful women. However, later in life, he became a complete hermit. Hughes spent his days in hotels, refusing to make eye contact with his aides. He also stopped bathing completely. Even more gross? He only cut his hair and nails cut once a year.
18. Nero Hated His Mother
File:15-07-05-Schloß-Caputh-RalfR-N3S 1528.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
According to one ancient historian, the mad Emperor Nero tried and failed several times to kill his mother Agrippina the Younger, each time trying to up the ante. First, he tried to poison her on several occasions, but she always took an antidote each time. Then, he constructed a machine that would collapse her bedroom ceiling on her while she slept, but she caught wind of the plot and escaped.
Finally, he—seriously—invented a collapsible boat that would drown her while she was on a pleasure cruise. Reader, SHE STILL SURVIVED.
19. Grace Kelly Was A Homewrecker
Grace Kelly has a pristine, princess-like reputation in Hollywood, but nothing could be further from the truth. She had affairs with, and I quote, "everybody." She fell for so many of her older male co-stars that multiple biographers have wondered if Kelly had some daddy issues. There was Gary Cooper, Clark Gable, and Ray Milland, just to name a few. Milland's wife even called Kelly a "home-wrecker."
20. Victorians Had Impossible Beauty Standards
Although the hourglass figure has always held a special appeal across Western cultures, the Victorians took their obsession to a whole new level in their use of corsets. These waist-cinching devices, while successful in achieving a "wasp waist," had some major health repercussions. Besides causing fainting spells, which the era’s ladies unsurprisingly became famous for, the restriction on women’s lungs likely worsened potentially deadly ailments like pneumonia and tuberculosis.
21. Sweden Wasn't Always Peaceful
File:Verwilt - Erik XiV DSC6824.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
Erik XIV of Sweden was super paranoid. It wasn’t unusual for people caught laughing, smiling, or whispering within Erik’s earshot to find themselves on trial for treason. Somewhat ironically, he passed in 1577 when someone poisoned his pea soup. We guess just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.
22. Mary Shelley Kept Her Husband's Heart
Frankenstein author Mary Shelley had a pretty gross secret hidden away in her desk: her dead husband’s heart. When her husband, the poet Percy Bysshe Shelley, drowned in a boating accident, he was cremated, but his heart remained intact. Mary eventually took possession of it, and researchers discovered it in her desk when she passed a few years later.
23. King Henry VIII Had Royal Bottom Wipers
The infamous King Henry VIII employed four Grooms of the Stool, men whose job it was to wipe the royal bottom and attend to his other private needs. It was a position of great honor, but also—as one Groom soon discovered—incredibly grave danger. Henry VIII executed one of his bathroom staff, Sir Henry Norris, on trumped-up charges that he was sleeping with Henry's second wife Anne Boleyn.
24. Versailles Wasn't As Glamorous As We Think
Château de Versailles (Yvelines) | Le château vue depuis le … | Flickrwww.flickr.com
The legendary Palace of Versailles had everything—except enough toilets for everybody. Despite the villa’s luxury, Versailles simply didn’t have enough public water closets to accommodate Louis XIV’s huge court. It wasn’t uncommon for courtiers to pay each other for access to those precious commodes…or else, they simply went in the corner.
25. Mozart Loved Poop
Mozart was surprisingly obsessed with bathroom humor. Two of his songs actually talk about analingus. He also wrote letters to his family where he described his bowel movements in great detail.
26. King George IV Got A Brutal Revenge
King George IV hated his wife Caroline of Brunswick. When their only daughter perished in childbirth, George didn't even tell Caroline. She had to find out by accident through a courier.
27. Joan Crawford Once Gave Her Crush A Disturbing "Gift"
File:Joan Crawford in Humoresque, 1946 (cropped).png - Wikimedia ...commons.wikimedia.org
Actress Joan Crawford once came on to her co-star Henry Fonda by making him a red sequined jockstrap.
28. A King Of Egypt Had A Disgusting Appetite
While many of Egypt’s citizens starved, King Farouk of Egypt reportedly ate 600 oysters a week. Not content with this, he also bought a candy red Bentley, then demanded that no one else paint their own cars red.
29. Jack The Ripper Might Have Been A Royal
For a long time, people thought Queen Victoria's grandson Prince Albert Victor was Jack the Ripper.
30. A Famous Comedian Hated One Color
File:Peter Sellers at home in Belgravia, London, 1973.jpg - Wikipediaen.wikipedia.org
Comedian Peter Sellers hated the color green. He claimed it gave him “strange vibrations.” He not only refused to wear the hue, but he also refused to act opposite of anyone who did.
31. Russian Tsarinas Had A Naughty Addiction
Foot tickling was used in the Muscovite palaces and courts for centuries as a means of arousal. Many of the Czarinas (Catherine the Great, Anna Ivanovna, and others) loved it. It was so popular that eunuchs and women were employed as full-time foot ticklers.
32. The Royal Mistress Who Was A Dominatrix
Dancer and royal mistress Lola Montez carried a whip around wherever she went and lashed it out on anyone who displeased her, including members of the public, bored theatre-goers, and critics who gave her bad reviews.
33. Dracula Had A Dirty Little Secret
File:Bela Lugosi as Dracula.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
Dracula actor Bela Lugosi once had an affair with starlet Clara Bow, and commissioned an undressed portrait of the actress. He then displayed the large painting prominently in all of his homes from 1929 until his passing—including in the houses he shared with his last two wives.
34. Einstein Was Stupid In One Way
Albert Einstein's secretary once got an anonymous call asking where Einstein lived. The secretary declined to respond. The caller then admitted he was Einstein himself, and that he had forgotten his address.
35. Isaac Newton May Have Been A Virgin
Though Isaac Newton lived to be 84, he never married. Some even believe he never lost his virginity.
36. This Medieval Queen Was A Grave-Robber
File:Joanna of castile with her children.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
Shortly after her beloved husband's passing, Queen Joanna of Castile ordered his body exhumed, had the casket opened, jumped to his side once again, and kissed his dearly departed feet. She then carried his casket everywhere with her.
37. Cleopatra Had Wild Parties
Cleopatra wasn’t just a powerful queen; she was also a party girl. She created a drinking club known as the “Inimitable Livers” with her husband Marc Antony. The club would feast and drink heavily and then go out to play pranks on unsuspecting citizens.
38. People Actually Slept In Coffins
Actress Sarah Bernhardt had a peculiar obsession with death, and from the tender age of 15 onward, she sometimes slept in a custom-made, satin-lined rosewood coffin.
39. Caligula Loved His Horse WAY Too Much
File:Antonio Tempesta (1555-1630) (after) - Caligula (AD 12–41 ...commons.wikimedia.org
The Roman Emperor Gaius Caligula made his horse a senator.
40. The Prince Who Was Raised Like A Girl
Philippe, Duke of Orleans was the brother of King Louis XIV. To prevent Philippe from threatening his famous brother, Philippe's mother Queen Anne of Austria raised him to be very feminine, calling him “my little girl” and even urging him to dress up in frilly, feminine clothing as a child.
41. History's Most Shocking Sideshow
Tarrare was an 18th-century French showman. His party trick? He obsessively ate everything, and lots of it. His circus act had him eating, among other things, whole live animals, a basket of apples, and even rocks.
42. A "Huge" Claim To Fame
File:Porfirio Rubirosa, circa 1954.jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
1950s international playboy Porfirio Rubirosa had such an infamously large "package," Parisian waiters used to call their 16-inch pepper mills "Rubirosas."
43. Tsar Ivan Really Was Terrible
When Tsar Ivan the Terrible saw his pregnant daughter-in-law walking around in clothing that he didn't approve of, he absolutely snapped. He viciously attacked her, causing her to miscarry. When his son came into the room, Ivan also ended up killing him in a fit of rage.
44. But He Wasn't The Only Mad Russian
Anna, the "Mad Tsarina" of Russia, once tormented one of her hated courtiers by locking him up in an ice palace for the night. Before that, she made him pretend to be a chicken, sitting in her ante-chamber and "laying" eggs.
45. King Tut Was The Product Of The Siblings
File:King Tut Burial Mask (23785641449).jpg - Wikimedia Commonscommons.wikimedia.org
King Tutankhamun passed at the tender age of 18. Some researchers believe he died from genetic disease, due to the fact his parents were brother and sister.