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People Who Use Metal Detectors Describe The Coolest Thing They've Ever Found

People Who Use Metal Detectors Describe The Coolest Thing They've Ever Found
Jack B / Unsplash

We know "metal detectors" and "cool" aren't typically used in the same sentence, but rock with us on this one.

Imagine if you found something really undeniably awesome. Would it make the hours of pacing and searching worth it?


Reddit user heloooreddit asked :

"People who metal detect, what's the coolest thing you've found?"

As someone who lives in S. Florida and has really only seen metal detectors used on hot, sandy beaches, I can confidently say it would have to be really very insanely cool and/or adorably heartwarming in order for me to decide being out in that heat and getting sweaty and likely sunburned was worth it.

Read through the things Reddit has found and see if it would be worth it for you.

A Whole.... Town.

"My buddy and I set out to find an old gold mining camp. We followed the maps and were in the right place when we discovered that the town was actually on the other side of a canyon. We had to beat our way through some 12' brush and then started finding things everywhere."

"He found a pocketwatch right by the side of the old wagon road. We realized that the entire dump was still there. Like the place had become forgotten and finally recorded on the wrong side of the creek years before. We actually stopped hunting and told the Forest Service. We met and took the archaeologist up there. He was floored because everything was still in context. Felt pretty good about finding a whole town."

- dzastrus

"Here I am prepared for some wedding ring, or a casual coin. First comment: 'we found a town' ."

- Mor_Hjordis

"Thanks for leaving as is and not taking what isn’t yours."

- sernamecheckzout

"I work with a bunch of archaeologists. They would just be drooling over getting to be involved in a dig like this."

- scarletnightingale

A Bomb

Dr Strangelove Movie GIFGiphy

"15 years ago, me and my siblings found bomb from World War II in the Belgian Ardennes, using a $30 toy metal detector."

"I remember walking off-road in the woods for hours until we found a spot that looked like nobody has been there in ages. We quickly found a couple of bullets and, while I was inspecting the bullets, my younger brother age 9 saw something sticking out of the dirt."

"At first, we thought it was a rusty metal can, but when he pulled it out, it took us a moment to realize that he was holding a bomb. We didn’t know whether it was still intact so I instructed him to slowly put it down in way that it could not roll off the hill and hit something."

"We didn’t have any mobile phones so we rushed to the nearest road which we followed to get to a village to get help. We marked the trees so we would remember where we had hidden the bomb."

"When we arrived at the village, we explained what happened. Luckily, they believed our story and called the local police. When he arrived, we couldn’t understand a word he said (he was speaking French, we only spoke Dutch) — but eventually he would follow us deep into the woods."

"When we arrived, the bomb was luckily still there, and after an inspection by the police officer we were instructed to leave as apparently it was too dangerous and had to be picked up by the bomb squad — but not before we snapped a picture for the local press, posing with the bomb next to us. I still have that picture."

- Securinti

"This is fantastic, what a story and great you have the photo"

- Azonic

Some Tools

"I went with a friend who's big into his detecting to see what he gets up to, we spend a solid 6 hours in this one field which he was adamant used to have a roman farmhouse."

"Just before we were going to give up for the day, and to be clear we had found the odd roman coin which was really cool in itself, we stumbled across what seemed to be really big. Anyway, long story short we dug down amd found a selection of roman agricultural tools set out in a relatively neat formation."

"My friend has since gone back and found further tools as well as a huge haul of coins.

This will be really underwhelming for a lot of people but the historic tools were really cool"

- ctlislegit

"Wouldn’t have been underwhelming for me. Sounds awesome"

- HaoleInParadise

"Underwhelming? Hell no, that's wicked! In fact I'm sure a lot of people would love to see some pics!"

- Wolfsburg

Another Big Find

History Blacksmith GIF by Age Of Empires CommunityGiphy

"I found a blacksmith’s shop in the middle of a farmers field. I was detecting for a historical society and their local expert told me to detect a certain spot that he calculated where the blacksmith shop would be."

"I did a 10x10 foot area with only finding small pieces of slag. I wasn’t convinced that the shop was there, but the expert wouldn’t have it."

"While everyone took a break at noon. I started a spiral pattern going farther and farther from his calculations. About 30 minutes later and 100 feet away, I got good strong signals and large slag pieces. I even found a single clay brick. One of the society members started an excavation at my spot."

"They eventually hit the corner of the shops foundation. They found a hammer and tools for the anvil and the rest of the blacksmith shop."

- 6854wiggles

"That's awesome. Good on you for using 'trust but verify' for the calculations"

- Edgar-Allan-Pho

Not A Tank

"Using a Schonstedt metal detector to determine the absence or presence of an underground heating oil storage tank in Morristown, New Jersey I found a subsurface object corresponding in size to a 550 gallon tank (4’x6’)."

"I obtained a municipal permit for removal, subsurface utility mark outs and when I excavated I discovered the object was not a tank but a cache of revolutionary war era cannonballs."

- Number82EggFooYoung

"I totally thought you were about to play us with a really boring story."

- SixSpeedDriver

Two Decades Worth

"Been at it since 1999."

"I've found a lot of stuff so what would be the coolest find would be subjective."

"I've found a few gold rings , silver jewelry, silver coins, civil war bullets including a couple of possible 'bite' bullets and one union cavalry button."

"Top finds would be... several silver half dollars (Walking liberties from the 1940s and ben franklins from the 1950s). my oldest coin find (an 1853 seated liberty dime) , my only seated liberty quarter (1877), my three gold rings (one that has 25 small diamonds, another that is a wide band wedding ring with three initials carved into the outside with inlaid silver metal, and an old Herf jones graduation/school ring that is basically a blank... nothing carved into it), an uncrushed 1930s silver thimble (most found thimbles are crushed)."

"I've never found a gold coin or a silver silver dollar or a pocket watch, or a two cent coin, or a three cent coin. :("

"I live in Missouri so finds for the area will not be as old as say in the New England states. I DO know one guy who found an 1801 large cent in Kansas."

"I've found nearly every kind of coin from the 1850s to present day (barbers, wheaties, seateds, indianheads, standing liberties, etc. etc..). Only exceptions would be gold coins and silver dollars and some half dollars. I've posted some pics in my past AMAs and other posts so if you search my name and metal detecting or metal detector on reddit you will find them."

- dirtymoney

"Username checks out."

- Ketugecko

Solid Ending

"Literally only did it once with a friend when I was a teenager at a beach with a friend (he and his dad were really into it). We found a $20k watch in 1995 dollars."

"Wasn’t a Rolex, but can’t remember the maker. We took it to a jeweler who made a few calls and found out it was in a registry and the owner was called. He was elated as it was a gift from his wife. He sent us each a check for $1,000."

"The jeweler gave us each a b*tchin fake gold chain on the spot. Jean shorts and high tops need the perfect neck accessory and we got it!"

- DKmann

"So neat that you were able to find the original owner!"

- Amalmiem11

"Not only did you do the right thing, you got a good reward for it too. That's pretty awesome."

- drewisawesome14

Some Love

memories photograph GIF by Good Deed EntertainmentGiphy

"I used to live near the railroad tracks near an airport and an old industrial area. They used to have a local station for the workers to shuttle into the area (late 1800's, early 1900's). They eventually tore down the station in the 30's/40's when the highways got built nearby."

"My dad used to take me with metal detectors and we would find railroad spikes, pocketwatches, wrist watches, old silver dollars and other coins."

"Best haul by far was a gold locket with a picture of someone's wife/girlfriend ensribed 'All My Love, Annie'. It wasn't the prettiest locket, but you bet your bottom dollar someone was kicking themselves for losing that precious treasure."

- TaxFreeTraveler

"All i can think is someone suffered a bad breakup and chucked the locket out of the train haha"

- super-goblin

Gold, Gold I Tell You

episode 12 gold GIFGiphy

"Not my thing, but my brother was detecting just downstream from a popular swimming hole on the American River in California a couple of years ago, looking for dropped watches, phones, go pros, etc. Got a hit, flipped a rock, and found an 11.5-ounce gold nugget underneath."

"Miners tore the hell out of those rivers back in the 1849 Gold Rush, and amateurs have been panning it ever since, so it was pretty freaking incredible to find something that big."

- codefyre

A Cherished Find

"I was detecting on a beach and a desperate South African man approached and told me he had lost his necklace his mother (now deceased) had given him when he was young."

"His friend had wrapped it in a towel and gone swimming. Then upon returning, flicked the sand out of the towel with the necklace in it."

"He had to go home for the day, but I searched where he told me he was sitting. 15 minutes later, my metal detector went absolutely nuts for this beautiful silver chain."

'I said to him that had he not asked me to look for him, I would have definitely found it later that night long after he had left with no way of contacting him. Crazy how life works like that."

- Draviddavid

"Aww, that was really kind of you. I'm so glad you found it!!"

- foamcorps

Out Of This World Find

"I've found a meteorite in Kansas. There is an area outside of Greensburg that is known to have had a meteor explode in the air before hitting the earth and dozens of smaller fragments are scattered over many miles."

"They are very deep and a lot of work to dig up, but my dad and I dug a 7 foot hole and extracted a nearly 30 pound stony-iron pallasite meteorite, which is worth nearly $2,000 a pound."

- crowemagnonman

"You made 60k?"

- UngusBungus_

"15K. Half to the landowner and then the other half split between me and and my dad."

- crowemagnonman

"I guess you won't have to fear Sidhe. You could even make a cold iron amulet and bind it to your aura and run around the world having adventures with your Irish Wolfhound!"

- JugglingBear

American History

native americans indian GIF by Vintage 3DGiphy

"A couple of historians found some old journals about a battle in the Indian wars and started to theorize that it happened on the farm I grew up on."

"They have gone out on 4 wheelers with metal detectors on sleds and found canon shot and canon balls. At one point where the soldiers started euthanizing their horses they found a row a slug with four horse shoes. Somewhere there is a canon, 2 Gatling guns, and a bunch of rifles that nobody has found yet."

- DarrenEdwards

"Where are you (in a general sense)? As in, Western Indian wars? Being from the eastern US, when I see 'Indian Wars', I think pre-Revolutionary War which were long before we became a country and long before Gatling guns."

"But, if you are talking post 1862 in the West (when the Gatling gun became available), that's pretty crazy. Damn."

- oxiraneobx

"The fight was the Powder River Expedition. During the civil war Indians were pushed north from Denver into Wyoming and into Montana. Just after the civil war ended several thousand Cavalry and support were sent to squash the problem. They had civil war surplus which meant a canon with exploding shot and canon balls, 2 gats, and a lot of repeating rifles. They were expecting to hunt food on the way but this was the 4th year of a drought so they were out of supplies and their horses were starved."

"They found Indian scouts on the Powder River and skirmished a few times. The Indians led a charge once and were repelled by the first time encountering repeating rifles. They would wait until night and pick off soldiers that would attempt to leave camp to go to the bathroom. Both sides had minor casualties with the exception of a chief being killed by canon. Soldiers killed where buried in unmarked graves under the wagon tracks so they wouldn't be dug up."


"The Calvary caught up to the main camp on September 11. The Indians attempted to scatter the Calvary and go for the support wagons, but the Calvary's horse were too starved down. The Army then skirted the camp and set up their own camp close by. They were too scared to blanket their horses. That night a freezing rain came in and killed 100's of horse. Even more were put down at down and as they tried to leave their horses were dropping. They lost their canon crossing the river, and burned and buried their guns and walked out."

"Almost no record of this as it was a humiliating defeat. Only a few years ago a few logs turned up. I think there are two books on the subject. I have read one, my father and uncle were interviewed for one of them. I was helping with photography with the remaining historian, but we have lost touch."

"There were rumors of this growing up. The canon was a landmark in the river for decades. The main Indian camp was where my parents farm is, my family homesteaded there in the 1870's. Where the soldiers camp and the horses died is an old swimming hole. Between there are fields that we have had for years and it's highly unlikely to ever find anything there."

- DarrenEdwards

Stepping Stone

"I took a metal detector to my grandparents’ garden when I was 10 and found some Civil War canister shot. Goddamned if it didn’t get lost in a move a few years later. Never found anything as cool as that since then."

"To make up for that, I spent the next ten years poring over war-era battle maps showing the positions of each regiment and battery over the course of a particular major battle that basically crisscrossed the whole area, comparing with modern topo maps, doing serious deep dives into primary sources, etc."

"Eventually, I figured out the exact hill the grapeshot had likely been fired from, and the side that fired it."

"I’m glad I got to experience finding it, at least, even though it got lost. It played a big role in my turning into a big history nerd early on."

- InterludeRenewed

A Non-Cooking Grill

Richard Kiel Smile GIF by James Bond 007Giphy

"My buddy and I bought metal detectors during lockdown and went to the local lake to hunt. I shit you not he found a silver grill. Not a barbeque, a set of silver teeth in the sand of the local beach. We quit metal detecting right then and there lol"

- mocheesiest1234

"Why’d you quit?"

- Appropriate-Oil9354

"I quickly learned that metal detecting is more of a commitment than I was ready for. By that I mean that to do it well you need to go to a place where you are likely to find things, places of historical significance. While finding the grill was cool, walking around the local beach will only result in bottle caps and broken sunglasses."

"For me, I would have to drive like an hour to historic gold sites and I just don't have that level of interest. My metal detector was $40 at harbor freight, and it's actually come in handy a couple of times outside of going to the beach. I found a couple of nails in my driveway, which probably saved me quite a bit"

- mocheesiest1234

Grandpas WWII Plane

"Some German metal detecting / WWII enthusiasts actually found pieces of my grandfather’s B-24 Liberator that he was shot down in."

"They were able to ID the plane by its serial numbers. Miraculously, my uncle was on the same forum they were posting their finds on and connected. They sent my grandfather the pieces of his plane."

- Kommmbucha

"That's awesome!"

- robophile-ta

"Bet he loved that Airfix kit"

- vg4030

Modern Love Story

"A few weeks ago I was driving on a country road near my house. There was a car pulled over to the side and a young couple was walking around obviously looking for something. I stopped and asked if they needed help. The girl told me, 'We were arguing and I threw a ring out of the window'."

"Seeing the guy was beyond pissed, I told them good luck and I drove off. A few days later I got to thinking to borrow a metal detector from a friend who is into that. Went back and searched for about an hour, getting ready to call it quits when I found the ring. Sadly, I have no idea who the couple was and just hope they are OK now."

- realrealityreally

"What did you do with it?"

- guitarromantic

"Still have it. Definitely an engagement ring but on the lower end IMO. She was a hottie so he should be fine lol."

- realrealityreally

Some Juicy Drama

Snl Queen GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy

"Usually just found lose change people lost at the beach. However, I did have to go find a diamond ring once. Wife of a friend who was currently deployed CLAIMS she lost it while at the beach with her GIRLFRIENDS. It took me a day, but I was able to find it."

"She was appreciative. It wasn't until he got back that I found out that she lost it because she was taking it off while dating other men. I hated her ever since for playing me like that."

- JQuest7575

"A perfect metal detecting story laced with juicy drama. This is why I bought a metal detector"

- Dr_Terry_Hesticles

A Couple Cool Historic Artifacts.

"Bit of a cheat as was working a site on a uni course in Northern England. Discovered the end of a Roman Dagger and a relatively intact boot replete with nails. Also found a beautiful fragment of a glass bangle; beautiful turquoise blue glass with a bright yellow wave pattern painted on it. Fellow student found and urn full of silver coins. Jammy git."

- theamberspyglasssees

"The criteria was people who metal detect, so you might fall under that umbrella."

- monsieurpommefrites

"Fair point! Though there is a somewhat fractious relationship between archaeologists and detectorists... I don't know any archaeologists that would describe themselves as people who metal detect :)"

- heamberspyglasssees

Okay yeah - we'll admit, finding a whole town or a stash of revolutionary era cannonballs would be pretty worth it.

Which of these would be most worth it for you?

People Break Down The Biggest Bombshells Their Therapist Ever Dropped On Them

Reddit user anonymiss0018 asked: 'What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?'

Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?

Two women laughing
Photo by Dave George on Unsplash

Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.

More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.

Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.

Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.

Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:

"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

Don't Give Me So Much Credit...

'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."

"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."

"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."

"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"

"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher

Eternal Optimism...

"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."

"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465

Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...

"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”

"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”

"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia

Awkward Season 8 GIF by The OfficeGiphy

Double Whammy!

"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."

"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93

Can't Hide Your DNA...

'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."

"She cracked the code."

"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93

Self-Sufficient!

"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."

"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."

"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'

"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody

Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman AnimationsGiphy

A Miracle!

"My brother-in-law’s comment."

"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."

"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."

"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."

"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."

"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."

"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"

"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn

Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...

"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."

"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."

"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."

"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."

"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379

Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K.Giphy

A Bit Too On The Nose?

"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."

"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."

"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."

"'What would you expect to find there?'"

"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB

Not Yet, Anyway...

"I was working with my friend and his dad."

"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."

"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."

"His dad asked, 'what for?'"

"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."

"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890

Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...

"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."

"She told this story to him:"

"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."

"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."

"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."

"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."

"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."

"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."

"She asked him what was wrong."

“'What’s wrong???'"

"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714

On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSOGiphy

Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...

"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."

"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52

Read The Room People!

"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."

"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."

"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"

"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl

There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".

As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.


When I was in high school, my friends and I went to a pizza place after school nearly every day. In addition to a slice of pizza, we would each buy a soda. The place offered free refills (this was back when not all places did this), and we thought it was really cool. However, I used to wonder why they would do this. Wouldn't it be more profitable to them if they forced us to buy a second drink?

Four years later, I began working in a restaurant and learned that more often than not, the cups we gave out for soda cost more than the syrup that went in the drink. The restaurant offered us free food on days we worked, but we couldn't get drinks for free unless we brought our own cups.

This was shocking to me and put free refills into a whole new perspective. We could sell the soda for more than it cost to make, but no one would buy a soda if we tried to sell it for more than the cup cost. It would cost us less to allow customers to refill the same cup for free than it would be to give or even sell them another cup because it would cost the business a lot to replace each cup.

Soda cups aren't the only things that have a high mark up price, and they're not the only products people were surprised to find had a high mark up. Redditors know of lots of products that they were surprised to find out has a high mark up and are ready to share.

It all started when Redditor petrastales asked:

"What product unbeknownst to most people has the highest mark up?"

​Equality Doesn't Exist

"Back in the early 2000’s I was managing a restaurant - garlic bread was selling for 3.95 and cost 0.07 to make. Not all food items are equal when it comes to margins!"

– leyland_gaunt

"I came here specifically to mention pizza. The profit margins on pizza are nuts, you have to suck at making it to not stay open."

– DreadedChalupacabra

"Yeah, it drives me nuts when you can request add-ons, but it's like $3 for a few pieces of camembert, or $2 for some chopped tomato, when it probably cost $5 for an entire 1kg bag of tomatoes."

– Writerhowell

How Cheesy

"Yeah and like 1.50 of that pizza was the cheese."

"Cheese is the most expensive part of a pizza assuming youre not doing some weird specialty stuff."

– Doomstik

"Can confirm. Worked at a pizza place. An incompetent employee was supposed to fluff a box of cheese but dropped it on the ground by accident. the owner was there. I swear I saw him shed a tear because that box was $120 of pure uncut shredded mozzarella and that was supposed to become like $1,000 in pizzas."

– PM_Sexy_Catgirls_Meo

That's Nuts!

"Yeah I worked at a place that did charcuterie, I apologized to the chef for munching out on the fancy olives all night. He said he didn't give a damn, as long as it kept my hands off the roasted cashews. Big jar of olives was like 15 bucks, the equivalent of cashews was like 200 bucks."

– hudson27

Bamboozled

"Reminds me of the never-ending pasta at Olive Garden. Pasta is dirt cheap and incredibly filling. The chances of you eating enough that it's actually a good deal for you is very slim."

– IBJON

"When I was working at a chain pizza restaurant, the storage manager wanted to get pasta on the menu, because of the profit margins. It's crazy because it cost us $2.10 to make a 17 inch pizza, and we sold them for $14."

– fukreddit73264

Not Worth It

"Flavored seltzers at a brewery. The beer costs 10x as much to make, but they charge almost the same at the tap."

– LocoCracka

"I have a buddy who made seltzers at a brewery in the Bay Area. Some malt liquor, very little flavoring, and a ton of soda water."

"Couldn’t make a cheaper adult beverage if you tried."

– Ikarus_Zer0

Ma, I Can't See!

"Glasses."

"Luxottica owns most major eye wear stores, costs them a few dollars to make and you pay hundreds for them."

– godnrop

"My cousin taught English in China after college in the early 2000s, apparently they had machines in malls where you could look into a pair of holes, do a vision test, get a prescription, and have a pair of glasses automatically ground for you in like 2 minutes for about $5, and the only reason we don't have that in the US is regulations."

"I travel to China frequently for work. I just take the USA prescription for family and friends and they have them made in about an hour or less. Family and friends give me an idea of frames they like and they pop the prescription lenses in. I pay about USD40 for the top-grade lens material that is antifog and anti-scratch."

i3f8j

"I don’t really object to paying $50 for an eye exam, I object to paying $300 for a pair of frames. There’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to take the prescription the optometrist gives you, enter the numbers into the machine, and get the same $5 glasses."

river4823

​Message Received

"Back in the day, text messaging."

– alien109

"That's why I left T-Mobile in 2005. They were charging me for incoming texts but offered no way for me to block them. So basically, someone else had control of my bill."

– CGYOMH

"I remember being young, spending the $20 I worked so hard for so I could get minutes, only for a friend with unlimited minutes to spam me with a few texts and take it all away. What an upsetting time."

– Boopcheese

Ice Ice Baby

"Soft drinks in pubs. Especially the ones from “the tap”. Costs pennies and they charge £3 for a pint of it. Probably the biggest earner in a pub."

– lucky_1979

"Especially when they just cram a glass with ice and then lightly moisten it with the actual drink you ordered."

– jamesmowry

"My work just came out with a policy that we need to completely fill the glass with ice because it "keeps the drink colder for longer".. eyeroll."

– metalbridgebuilder

"The nuts and bolts section at your local big box hardware store is the highest markup isle. 500% or more. If you need more than a few bolts, go shopping at a proper hardware supplier."

– SatanLifeProTips

"Whenever I go through one of these aisles and look at the price for a single bolt or screw, I look at the overall assortment and think: There must be tens of thousands of dollars just for the shelf-price of fasteners I see right here in this aisle alone."

"The markup is crazy, but why do I want to buy a box of 100 screws if I only need two?"

– lemming_follower

Second To One

"The second-cheapest bottle of wine on the menu."

– slocki

"In order to not look cheap, many people will buy the 2nd cheapest item on the menu."

– AprilsMostAmazing

"Wine in restaurants in general. The markup on wine is wild. My boss used to get whatever was “on sale” from the distributor and usually pay $3-4 a bottle and sell it at $10 a glass."

– she_shoots

Pour Some Sugar On Me

"Candy floss / cotton candy. £4.99 for legitimately 10p worth of sugar."

– Tylervdub

"I used to work food service at an amusement park for a summer job."

"A manager told us that the cost of making a bag of cotton candy, including ingredients, labor, etc., was 19 cents...we sold it for $3."

– etm105

Look, Don't Drive

"Those button batteries in store."

"They know you need one asap cause your car won’t unlock so you are stuck."

"Wait 1 day and you can get a dozen from Amazon for same price."

– kindrudekid

Medical Supplies

"As a Diabetic I'm pretty sure it's Insulin."

– PraiseThePun81

"Can’t believe I had to scroll so far to find this."

"I spend over $13k annually on ‘good’ insurance that doesn’t cover half of the things I need as a diabetic. I spend half that again on the insulin and supplies. It’s a racket."

– Nosce_Temet

H2O

"Water."

– ganic-Lie4759

"Bottled water is so highly marked up as to qualify as a scam."

"At no extra cost aside from the bottle (I don’t have a water meter) my water is completely free. It tastes as good or better than bottled."

– 6033624

I didn't know about any of this!

I can hear my wallet crying.