Sometimes there are fights that are not worth picking... especially if you're drunk and can't win. We can all make those mistakes, choosing the wrong person to go up against, normally for idiotic reasons. And then there are the times we see injustice and the Tony Stark in all of us rises and says... "Oh HELL NO!" And then justice shall be had.
Redditor u/zColin wanted to hear around the times people have come to blows and it was a BIIIIG mistake, by asking.... What is the best case of "You just f**ked with the wrong person" you've witnessed?
McDonald's for the Win!Giphy
Stepdad used to run the Iron Man equivalent in our area. Also had the absolute conviction found in his generation that Justice was always on his side. Also he always slept naked (which I learned as a result of this incident).
One late summer night two idiot kids tried to steal his truck out of his driveway. He sees this happening from his bedroom window and goes tearing out of the house, totally nude, and chases these two terrified kids for blocks screaming "I'M GONNA GET YOU!"
He tackles one and the cops were on scene in moments because obviously some concerned neighbor noticed this happening at 2am in our sleepy little town. God only knows what that 911 call sounded like.
Probably a good thing the cop already knew the kid as a car thief. He hung out with the sobbing teen and suggested my stepdad sit in the cruiser til his wife could bring him some pants. shoeswerenumbernine
A friend of mine stepdad is not a good guy. He is full of rage and will lash out without a second thought. This made him the wrong target for two guys who tried to mug him near an atm. They came up to him and demanded he withdraw money. He grabbed one of them and smashed the guys head and face into a brick wall. The other guy ran away but he chased him down and beat the crap out of him. james5368
I Got You.
When my wife was T-boned by a drunk driver, it happened to be right in front of a bar that a friend owned. The bouncer at the door witnessed the accident and saw the drunk jump from his car and run. Bouncer proceeds to chase him down, beat him, and drag him back to wait for the cops. When I thanked him, his response was "are you kidding? That was a once in a lifetime chance to administer a well deserved beating!" landb3333
For the Goose!Giphy
I don't know if this fits, but a kid at the park kicked a goose. It turned out it was a pretty ill-tempered animal. Chased the kid, knocked it down and bit him. The little boy ran to his mom crying. I swear that goose was strutting as it walked away. usernamesarehard1979
You were Warned...
In middle school, during lunch period, a kid in my grade was getting picked on by this larger kid and his friends. He said, "Stop it, leave me alone," a few times. No one watching did anything because we were just dumb kids who didn't want to get picked on either. Large kid was poking him and calling him names while his buddies laughed. Suddenly he slapped him in the head. The other kid went bananas. Face red, tears streaming down his face, he jumped on large kid and beat his ass, crying "Just leave me alone!" Teachers broke it up and began scolding him, but everyone who had been watching vouched for him, said he was only defending himself. I think they both got suspended anyway. No one messed with that kid anymore though. Triangle_Graph
My youngest daughter was getting picked on in elementary school by a boy who was two grades above her. He constantly taunted, pushed, and annoyed her. One day he pushed her from behind, and she dropped her books. She immediately turned around, and full on kicked him square in the nuts with all the force her soccer-playing leg could muster. I've been told he curled up and bawled for several minutes, while my daughter was sent to the principal's office. She was smiling when her mother picked her up from school. liz_teria
Do You think So?
I'm not sure if it's the best but it's certainly the most violent.
Some prick in his 20s was drunk, telling everyone in the pub how he could kick everyone's a**e, and generally mouthing off about what a hard man he was.
He started hassling this workman in his 50s (who was clearly trying to have a quiet drink by himself) who did not react at all - just continued drinking and ignoring the moron.
Moron didn't take this well and poured his drink over the workman's head. Who proceeded to take his painters trowel out of his work bag, gash the hard man right across his face, finish his drink and calmly walk out while the other guy sprayed blood everywhere and screamed.
Sunderland in the 90s was a interesting city to drink in. Geeky_Monkey
Call Pizza Hut!
I didn't witness it, but I got firsthand accounts and saw the police report. Bob was a delivery driver at Domino's and was a little off his rocker. Kind of older (upper sixties, maybe all the way to seventy) and the kind of guy who would cuss out a ten year old "to make a point" but also gave away our cancelled orders at the end of the night to homeless people.
Anyways, Bob's delivering a pizza and gets mugged. The robber walked up and hit Bob in the head with a brick, dropped the brick, took his cash and took the pizza. Bob got up, took the brick and proceeded to mug him back and then called the police. The gang banger in his twenties was too terrified of the pizza man in his seventies to run away and waited to be arrested. mike_d85
Ten year old me seeing my dad's face when I didn't want to do the dishes and told my mom that she should do them because she did nothing around the house. I don't know how I survived tbh. The stupidity of what I said is compounded by the fact that those were the dishes of a meal that my mom had cooked by herself from scratch, like she did almost every night. if_horses_could_draw
Heading home after a night out i see three guys surrounding a dude in an alley. Thinking something is going on i stopped and watched for a little while when i hear one of the guys say something like "Just shut the f**k up and give us your s**t!"
The second after that all i see is a blur of arms and legs and the second after there's the three dudes flat on their back.
The lone dude getting robbed just walked out of there, right past me and didn't even as much as look at me. Gonzovision187
I watched a neighbor lay out two d***hebags that were harassing women at a party in about 15 seconds. He gave them every opportunity to apologize to the women and walk away, but they thought they could take him.
Keepin' it real went wrong. TSwizzlesNipples
Didn't witness it, but it was all over the news some years ago. In Los Angeles, a guy tries to hijack a van. Canadian Olympic judo team was in that van, including the trainer. To quote one of the members of that team: "He did not know what hit him." LettingGoLoop
My family and I grew up in Baltimore City. The specific neighborhood we lived in wasn't the best but certainly not the worst either (at the time, late 90s-early 2000s). One day when my little brother was around 7, he was outside in the street next to our yard playing on his skateboard. A group of kids not much older were walking by looking to start trouble. It all happened so fast, they ran up and starting beating on him, then stole his skateboard. My dad was home that day. My sister and I ran inside hysterical and without even thinking twice he jumped up from his lazy boy in only his t-shirt and shorts, maybe only touched one of our 7 stairs out front and absolutely BOLTED after those punk kids.
This 50 year old man (at the time) chased them for like 3 blocks in his bare ass feet and they're screaming fearing for their lives. They finally dropped the skateboard at some point and my dad stopped chasing them and grabbed it, but holy crap, I'd never seen him so angry and move so fast (signature angry dad warning sign - his eyes get huge and piercing, terrifyingly blue). When he came back his feet were so bloody and roughed up from straight sprinting on the concrete through gravel roads and alley ways. We never saw those kids near our house, let alone around our neighborhood again.
My dad is the greatest. Don't f**k with his kids. JacqiPro13
I once had the pleasure of witnessing a man in his 70s wearing knee high socks with khaki shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, and a fisherman's hat kick the absolute crap out of FOUR GUYS who decided to hassle him at the bus stop (not sure what it was about exactly). The guys were drunk and in their 30s or 40s. A bunch of us heard the commotion start and ran over to help but we ended up pretty much just watching Old Guy wail on them until the cops came to break it up. It was hilarious and the cops joined us in mocking the drunks mercilessly. Maine_Coon90
Two at my high school as a kid. One d**chebag guy named "Rich" was picking on a kid all day. He followed the kid out to the buses jawing at him he whole time while the kid just walked with his head down and his hands in his pockets. Rich said something that stopped the kid in his tracks and he pulled his hand out of his pocket with a pencil gripped like a knife and whirled around to plunge the pencil into the side of Rich's jaw. It went through his cheek and knocked a tooth out.
Same situation but two kids went to the technical school in the morning. The quiet nerdy kid had been picked on for weeks and on the way back from tech school he told his bully, "when we get back to school Im going to kill you." The bully laughed. When they got off the bus the bully got in the kid's face and the kid whipped out a carpet knife he had stolen from tech school and just started stabbing and slashing the bully all across the chest and stomach. Mr_Bigums
When I was 5 my dad took me to Walmart to get something for dinner and I saw a young couple fighting. This guy started really getting pissed off at this girl, he started getting in her face and threatening her and he even yanked her hair a bit and was pushing her. I was really scared. My dad shouted something to the guy, and the guy told my Dad to f**k off.
Next thing I know, I saw my dad run right up to the guy and grab him by his hair shouting "OH YOU WANNA HIT YOUR LADY? YOU LIKE HITTING YOUR LADY? YOU WANNA HIT SOMEONE YOUR SIZE?" He beat the hell out of that guy. I don't remember much else but cops were called and they didn't do anything about what my dad did, just took the other guy away. ProvocativeSkeleton
Pick your Battles.Giphy
Had a regular at the bar who was an amateur boxer. Some skinny drunk di**head decided to pick a fight with him, really egged him on. The regular kept saying "come on man, just let me drink my beer in peace" etc. After a good ten minutes he stood up, took off his jacket, apologized to the bar staff, and well, it wasn't pretty. Berlin_Blues
Hold the Phone.
Once while my dad was on a trip, in the middle of winter our furnace broke. My mom went down to the basement and checked out the situation. She figured out what was broken and called a repair guy to tell him what she had found. The repair guy was on speakerphone, I held the phone while my mom held a flashlight and inspected the furnace. I'll never forget the look on her face when she finished her initial explanation and the guy replied with "Why don't you put your husband on the phone sweetie?"
She snatched the phone from my hand and shooed me out before she cussed him out so I never got to hear her exact words but I imagine he got an earful. Sassquapadelia
Some like 15 year old somehow got my 16 year old younger sisters phone number and kept calling her saying creepy stuff like "I'm gonna come for you" or "I'm watching you!"
My dad is a federal investigator.
Last I heard that kid is no longer allowed to have or operate a telephone for a certain amount of time without parental supervision. jbjba1234