Mental Health Professionals Share Red Flags That May Seem Normal But Should Be Checked Out
Mental health is health. End of story.
For millions of people, the idea of mental health is wrapped up in this strange idea that unless you're hearing voices or having a full-on movie-style nervous breakdown (spoiler alert: those almost never happen that way) then there's no need to get your mental health looked into.
That idea has cost countless lives and made millions of people unnecessarily miserable. It needs to stop.
Reddit user Pixel_Pig asked:
Mental health professionals chimed in, but so did patients, loved ones, friends, etc. Surprised? You shouldn't be. Mental health affects us all.
Warning: Some of the following entries contain descriptions of abusive behavior.
Regulation
Inability to regulate your own emotions. Also, negative self-talk. we talk to ourselves way worse than any person could.
Parental Responsibility
GiphyChild Psychologist here. It bugs me how much parents don't think they're responsible for their kid's behavior.
Yes - it's the main reason I hate doing counseling with kids under 12. I spend more time trying to convince the parents that they play a role in their children's lives and ultimately are responsible for their behavior. A great many seem to think just bringing their child to counseling is the extent of their involvement.
I don't remember much of my earlier childhood, but what I do know is that I've always got easily frustrated and cried a lot, only to have my dad threaten me to stop crying when I was younger. I spent practically all of my free time from the end of primary school through to university playing video games because I didn't think I liked anything else, and couldn't seem to stick with anything else. I've always feared strangers, and been incredibly sensitive to the negative opinions of those I do know. My teeth are badly yellowed because I couldn't bring myself to brush my teeth often as a kid.
For as long as I remember, I've struggled with knowing what I feel, with knowing if I'm ever in the right, with knowing what I want, with knowing who I am, with being easily overwhelmed, with overthinking, with overly negative thoughts, with mood swings, with doing any work not last minute... the list goes on. I've always felt that something was wrong with me, that this wasn't how life was supposed to be lived, that I wasn't nearly as happy as I could be, but when I've reluctantly confided in my family, I've just been dismissed as overthinking again, or trying to blame something other than myself -- despite how utterly out of control my own actions felt.
I sat through 16 months of a toxic relationship with a girl diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and was subjected to constant emotional manipulation including threats of suicide if I didn't call her, and yet I stuck by her because I just didn't know if I was in the wrong. I got counselling at university and felt bad for taking up the space of someone who will very likely need it more, and later that year I failed my degree because of what I felt was a rational decision that physics just wasn't for me anymore -- but neither was anything else.
Fast forward through a year and a bit of working full time in fast food, but working on myself through introspection, experimentation and research, I'm in a MUCH better place now; I've even got offers to study psychology at university next year. Despite this stark contrast, and an explicit collection of the ideas that helped me to overcome my own issues, my parents are reluctant to believe I have ever suffered with mental health issues of the anxiety and depression variety, and are insistent that my social difficulties must instead stem from Autism -- something out of everybody's control.
In having a conversation about the idea of Childhood Emotional Neglect, and explicitly telling them that it isn't placing blame, or preventing progress, and telling them how this idea has resulted in a huge amount of personal progress, they were still reluctant to believe it because they believe me to be just trying to place blame on them. Autism seems more viable to them because 'what normal person gets up at 8am every day and goes out to go to the gym and stuff?'
They completely deny that they've had any negative role in my upbringing, even after my mum has admitted that she never tried with anything in her life, including raising me.
I guess I ranted all this because denying parental responsibility/contribution does more than just bug me, it's hurtful and tragic. It could have been a never-ending generational loop of suffering were it not for a subtle but pervading inkling that life could in fact be better than this. And worst of all in my experience it seems to all have stemmed from a single stupid misconception about who we are. If there's anything we desperately need in these modern times, it's awareness about psychological ideas. Nobody is born to be a depressed recluse with no idea of what they want from life.
Causing Impairment
A good rule of thumb as to whether a behavior or symptom should be checked out is the same we use to determine a diagnosable disorder : if it causes impairment in one or more areas of life.
The range of what is normal is huge - but if something keeps you from going to school or work, keeps you from maintaining basic hygiene, from maintaining your friendships/ familial relationships/ romantic relationships... It's causing impairment and you should seek help.
If Your Toddler Is...
Research psychologist checking in:
If your toddler is doing socially unusual behaviors such as:
Not responding to name
Not responding to a social smile
Not pointing/ using gestures
Using your hands/arms as if they were a tool or extension of their body
Engaging in repetitive behaviors
Not responding to your use of gaze to direct their attention to distal objects
Check with the pediatrician about getting assessed for autism spectrum disorder.
Not Your Job
Therapist here. If you grew up with or currently are a part of a family where the whole family has to work to keep one or more members of the family in a good mood or appeased, that's not healthy.
People are in charge of their own feelings. It is not your job to appease others so that they can emotionally regulate themselves.
That was me growing up. Everyone had to make dad happy. Never knew if something was going to set him off. And when we pissed him off, it would go on for weeks. Outbursts, throwing breakable items, verbally degrading you, and sometimes it would get physical.
That man threw me into a wall while he was drunk. Would have gone all the way through but there happened to be pipes.
And then he would use us like therapists telling us all the traumatizing stuff he went through as a child and expecting that to explain his behavior. He'd be the first to admit that he needed therapy and medication but never actually did anything about it. Fortunately, he's no longer in my life.
Not Typical For Everyone
There have been a lot of my patients who have been pretty surprised when I've told them "hey, that's anxiety/depression" when they just thought their behaviors were typical for everyone.
- not being able to maintain friendships
- constantly being nervous about the safety of your child, to the point where you hate being alone with your child without your partner
- not being able to motivate yourself to do things, especially things you once enjoyed
- feeling excessively tired all the time
- not being able to calm down and just thinking about the same thoughts over and over and feeling worried
Other things we can help with:
- having a hard time trusting others
- trying to recover a relationship from infidelity
- not knowing why your kid is misbehaving so much and needing guidance
- helping to improve communication within your relationships
It can be hard to bring these topics up! I totally get it.
Some things you can try are:
- writing these things down and bringing them to therapy
- making a mood journal for a week where you track how your moods are and how you're feeling with different activities, and using that as a conversation starter
- two tools we use to measure depression and anxiety are the PHQ-9 and the GAD-7. If you google those, they're questionnaires that bring up some of these questions. You can fill those out and bring them in to your therapist
- you can bring a friend or family member to help advocate for you if that would be easier.
- you can write a letter reflecting on things you think you've made progress on in therapy and goals you have in moving forward and use that to start a convo with your therapist.
If you experience these things (and more!) therapists can help! Let us help you. I hate that cost is such a barrier for people. :(
Sometimes colleges offer free or discounted therapy from their students. When you're training to be a therapist, you spend at least 1 year working as a therapist while meeting with a supervisor each week to consult on your cases and get guidance on moving forward.
My college unfortunately didn't offer discounted sessions, but I know many do. It might be worth checking out.
Some systems also have charity care options for people with low incomes. That can be worth pursuing as well.
To find a therapist, if you're in the US and have insurance, you can call your insurance company and get a list of places that take your insurance. That's a good place to start.
Sabotage
GiphySelf-sabotaging behavior can ruin your life quickly. If you have an event in your life that has affected you negatively and you seem to find yourself exhibiting irrational or incongruent behaviors- see a counselor.
You don't have to have any certain pathology to seek mental wellness counseling.
- TRAMZ14
Other People Have It Worse
I've seen a lot of people dismiss their depression/other mental illness because it's "not that bad" or "other people have it worse" or "I can/should be able to handle it on my own."
You shouldn't have to suffer through mental illness even if you technically can. You deserve to be happy and therapists and psychiatrists are there to help you learn how to help yourself. It's not a weakness to find someone who can assist you in figuring out coping skills or prescribe you medications to help fine tune your brain's neurotransmitters.
Your Child Doesn't Need To Hear That
The need for some parents to speak with their children about adult problems. No, your young child does not need to be aware that 'daddy slept with the lady next door'.
The parents that tell their children that they are going to 'go and speed my car into a tree purposely', 'kill myself while you are at school', or 'slit my wrist when I shower tonight'.
And, parents that feel they need their children 'fixed' as it's the child and not the family unit as the whole that needs support and/or assistance.
Your child doesn't need to hear that you are struggling financially - I'm talking more on the extreme side and towards children that have been extremely hurt and 'money talk' was used as a tool to make the child feel at fault and guilt to some degree.
I'm currently working with a child now that is triggered whenever he hears talk about finances and feels it's his fault they will eventually become homeless. They won't, but this is what he is told. If only he didn't eat so much, if only he didn't have so many school fee's. Not to mention the arguing between carers over finances - this must be his fault to though, they're yelling and shouting because of this.
Some Things Regularly Seen
Psychotherapist here.
Some things I see regularly that could have been caught earlier before they became a problem:
- Unhealthy coping mechanisms. For example, drinking "to relax" frequently or smoking a lot. Even something like promiscuity can be a red flag that a person is trying to avoid dealing with something stressful by distracting themselves.
- Self harm. Hitting yourself, banging your head on things, burning yourself on purpose, cutting yourself, etc. - all of those things indicate that it's time to talk with a professional.
- "Normal" child/teen behaviors that are not actually normal, like running away or getting into fights.
- Not communicating. When this happens, something is usually wrong (not always, as some folks are quieter than others). But if a child/teen/adult rarely speaks or if they are silent in the presence of their parent or significant other, it's time to get them to see a professional ALONE to have their safety assessed. I've seen individuals who are literally shut down due to having been profoundly abused by the people they live with and one of the main signs of that is silence. I've also seen people in perfectly good homes who cannot communicate due to extreme anxiety and without professional help it's hard for them to overcome this.
- Mood swings. When a person's moods change from one extreme to another fairly often/regularly that is another concerning symptom. Sometimes they are considered eccentric or hormonal, but that sort of thing can be a sign of many problems from bipolar disorder to post traumatic stress disorder.
- Glitzyn
Definitely Not God
New nurse here! Did my rotation for mental health and one patient in particular took quite an interest in me, he was very polite and very kind, he was chatting up a storm, answered everyone's questions and repeatedly asked my name. Later, we got to look at patients files and I got his. He had a psychotic break and started hearing God. She told him her name was Courtney and that She had chosen him and he was to find Her and marry Her.
Guess what my first name is. Courtney. They ended up moving me to another part of the hospital after that because he was quite interested. Can confirm: I am definitely not God. Way too much responsibility. Obsessive behaviors and thoughts like that should definitely be checked out.
No Exceptions
- Extreme emotions
- Lack of or struggle with impulse control
- Blackouts
- Extreme irritability
- Disrupted sleep
- Muted or bottled emotions
- Feeling like an alien
- Feeling like everyone has an ulterior motive
- Self-isolation
- Preoccupation with pleasing others or avoiding conflict
- Feeling of emptiness
- Feeling like a part of your identity is missing or you don't have an identity of your own
- Subtle tendencies to latch on to others (especially romantic partners or crushes — maybe sometimes you feel like you're just a tad "too much" or maybe you've heard that from some exes).
LGBTQ+ Youth can get help through:
TrevorChat — 24/7/365 at https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help-now/#services
TrevorLifeline — phone service available 24/7 at 1-866-488-7386
TrevorText — Text "START" to 678678. Available 24/7/365.
TrevorSpace — online international peer-to-peer community for LGBTQ young people and their friends at https://www.trevorspace.org/
Trevor Support Center — LGBTQ youth & allies can find answers to FAQs and explore resources at https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/trevor-support-center/#sm.0000121hx9lvicotqs52mb1saenel
The Craziest Conspiracy Theories People Have Ever Secretly Believed
Reddit user streetancient asked: 'What is the craziest conspiracy theory that you secretly believe in?'
It's hard not to get worn out and dispirited by the seemingly unending conspiracy people continue to promote.
It should be noted that even the people who roll their eyes at those who believe these conspiracies might actually believe a conspiracy theory of their own.
More often than not, these aren't the sort of theories that could bring harm to others, though they still might not share their belief in these theories with others.
Even their closest friends.
"What is the craziest conspiracy theory that you secretly believe in?"
Or The Singers Just Wanted To Travel?
"Ireland began deliberately entering bad songs into the Eurovision Song Contest in the 90s."
"After winning it consecutively for a few years it began getting too expensive to host so they sabotaged their chances of winning it."- Houlilala
They Weren't That Cute...
"Build-A-Bear came out with a bunch of new toys that were all the same shade of yellow right after their Minion launch severely underperformed."
"They had stockpiled yellow fabric in anticipation of the Minion toys selling well and getting a big production run and had to find a way to use it all."- everlasting1der
Be Careful What You Ask...
"I believe r/AskReddit is actually a data farming operation that is being used to feed AI algorithms in order to produce more effective propaganda, social control mechanisms, etc… but what do I know…" - Sackerson-502
Search Engine Instagram GIF by GiflyticsGiphyBut Where Do The Beans Go?
"This is dumb, but my mother believes that the coffee grinder machines at the gas station are fake..as in they make a lot of noise just to make you think what your getting is fresh coffee."
"When it's 'grinding' the beans, you never see the beans move."
"We called the gas station and the employee said he doesn't know how the coffee makers work since a 3rd party refills them up or changes the flavors."
"I've called her crazy but slowly i'm getting sucked into it, simply because it's fun."- james_castrello2
Which Would Be More Embarassing?
"Paul Pierce sh*t his pants during the 2008 NBA Finals."
"He sat on the floor apparently injured until he was taken off the court in a wheelchair and returned minutes later completely fine."
"Sitting on the floor and leaving in a wheelchair stopped anybody from seeing his dookie stains."- pierremanslappy
paul pierce GIFGiphyNot Exactly Helping Anyone...
"Micro plastics are making people dumber."- blackbeautybyseven
When They Could Broaden Their Client Lists...
"That the weight loss industry sets people up to fail, because if their products worked they wouldn't have return customers."- Funky_chicken89
What's Important, He's Out There...
"It’s not the cameras: Bigfoot is blurry."- QuillDidNothingWrong
Bigfoot Sasquatch GIF by MOODMANGiphyThe World May Never Know...
"North Korea had an underground nuclear testing site collapse."
"Kim Jong Un then went to China."
"North Korea declared in their state news paper that they have perfected the nuke, and will no longer do any more tests."
"My theory is that Kim Jong Un went to China to ask for help fixing their nuclear disaster."
"Xi told him to deal with it himself and to stop playing with nukes."
"Kim came back to N.Korea like a beaten dog."- Initial-Finger-1235
What Lurks Beneath Midtown
"Occultist architect Ivo Shandor outfitted most of the buildings in downtown Manhattan with a specific alloy which, when activated under the right conditions, would summon Gozer the Gozerian."- Rogue_Wallet
A Connection To Brag About?
"This is dumb lmao, there is a man who lived and worked as a teacher where I'm from in NC."
"His name was Peter Stuart Ney."
"It was during the early 1800s, there's a local legend that lives on that this man was in fact one of Napoleon's right hand men, and fought alongside him even."
"It's been disproven apparently by the French government over the years, it's just funny how this guy was supposedly executed in 1815, just to show up over in NC as a teacher with the same surname and military expertise just 1 year later."
"They say he was a skilled fencer, and he had precise military knowledge even though he was just a teacher for the local school system."
"On his deathbed he supposedly confessed to being one Marshal Michel Ney, the 'Bravest of the Brave', according to Napoleon."
"Wild story but part of me just fully f*cking believes it's crazy enough to be true."
"Records indicated he had shown up in Charleston SC in 1816, just a year after this Michel Ney was executed in France."
"Idk, it's just a crazy story."- actuallyjayft
pizza emoji GIFGiphy...Aside From The Fact That Fairy Tales Are Public Domain...
"Disney only do remakes to retain copyright on the stories."- AndPlagueFlowers
Likely True For Some Of Them...
"All those crazy Boomers have lead poisoning."- octavialovesart
Bodes Well For Online Dating Too...
"The Empty Internet Conspiracy."
"A large part of the population of the internet and, thus, a large part of interactions on the internet are completely fake."
"Just faceless chat bots tooling around; generating social media posts, YouTube comments, and opinion articles on news sites."
"With the rise of AI generated essays and research papers, it's becoming easier to draw lines between those papers and how random news articles can read in a way in which a human would never write."- Karmit_Da_Fruge
Internet Netneutrality GIF by Ryan SeslowGiphyAs long as people keep these beliefs to themselves, and don't try to promote them, then they have every right to believe these rather dubious stories are true.
And who knows, some of these stories are so far-fetched, perhaps the only way they came to prominence was because they actually happened.
Movies can be one of the most entertaining forms of media, but it has to be good.
Seems simple, right?
Some movies are really good. As an avid reader and huge fan of book-to-movie adaptations, I enjoyed the ones that were made well. This included The Count of Monte Cristo, The Hunger Games series, and even Twilight, despite not actually liking the book series.
However, some book-to-movie adaptations were so bad, I wished I hadn't spent time or money on it. The Maximum Ride movie, the two Percy Jackson movies (I can't believe a second one was even made after the disaster that is "The Lightning Theif"), and of course, "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince."
David Yates, who directed the fifth movie, also directed the sixth. Known for directing darker movies, he decided to go in a funnier, lighter direction for the sixth movie and took away all the magic that made Harry Potter so amazing. Luckily, he went back to his talents for the seventh and eigth movie, but I spent a fortune (or what was a fortune for a teenager) getting tickets to the midnight premiere, and I ended up aplogizing to everyone for taking them to see that movie. I will never not be sorry about that.
Redditors are familiar with the experience of paying money to see amovie and wishing they hadn't, and they are eager to share.
It all started when Redditor Pitiable-Crescendo asked:
"What was the most disappointing movie you paid to see?"
Couldn't Pay Me To See It
"Cats. I couldn’t believe anyone thought that was passable as quality"
– Majirra
"I like the 1990s version with Elaine Paige, but that's because I like the music, Elaine Paige, musicals, stage movies, etc. (Like Newsies and Hamilton are awesome, grew up watching stuff on theater irl like plays.)"
"I wouldn't even watch the 2019 Cats for free, despite the casting."
– Binx_da_gay_cat
Poor Adaptations
"Eragon. It's not even close. My dad and i were huge fans of the series when it came out. We walked out of the movie early and it left such a bad taste in our mouths that we stopped reading the series."
– An_Actual_Pine_Tree
"Was coming in to say the same thing. Read it as a child. What a dumpster fire."
"Coming off Harry Potter I thought adaptations were inherently good."
– magvadis
"I love that r/eragon just acts like the movie was never made lol. I’m cautiously optimistic for the Disney+ remake of Eragon to be released"
– SaltyWitch1393
"As a fan of both Artemis Fowl and Willow, I'd advise you to have far more caution than optimism."
– Flustro
"God I'm so glad I didn't pay money to see Artemis Fowl, that was an irredeemable piece of lazy CGI a**hole. Bad script, bad acting, bad production design, ALL of the dry Irish humour sucked out of it, no personality."
"I feel bad for Eoin Colfer, I at least hope he got paid enough for the rights."
– Charlie_TheRoadQueen
Bad Movies
"The Fantastic Four remake"
"ETA: Fant4stic, 2015 is the one I’m talking about. Realized I should’ve specified that."
– robert_flavor
"Fant4stic? The one where Doom is an ecoterrorist who only appears near the end of the movie?"
– CttCJim
"I remember being 11 and seeing it because i was big on Marvel Ultimate Alliance 1 & 2, and pretty much coming to the realization for the first time in my life that movies could be bad, lol"
– tsushi17
Master Of No Movie Elements
"Avatar: The Last Airbender"
"$17 and change for the IMAX showing when it first came out"
– Spenceresquire
"Okay so it was the most disappointing movie I ever paid for but the best movie experience of my young life. I was in a theater that was literally Shouting "Aang!" Every time they said "Ong". There was booing. There was screaming. The audience made the movie."
– GViceyroy
"There is no movie in Ba Sing Se"
– KaityKat117
Horrible On All Levels
"Pooh: Blood and Honey. Please don't watch it."
– Sure-Mathematician68
"I've loved Pooh and the 100 Acre Wood community my entire life. Also a big horror fan. My friends know this. My best friend had gift certificates to our local theater and decided to treat my husband and I to a double date with her/her hubby. I was so excited. Even dressed up in my Pooh onesie...it was so, SO bad. Like, not even good bad. No clever writing or dialogue. No creative kills. Terrible acting. Terrible effects and makeup and lighting. Wasn't even good enough to be considered "b" or "c" level. Just all around bad. Surprisingly, the theater was actually pretty full too. The majority of audience members were laughing/cringing/booing, but not even in a fun way...the whole experience felt very awkward and forced. At least I didn't pay for it tho lol"
– Eleven77
I'm So Sorry
"A Wrinkle in Time. Took the family to see it one Mother’s Day, I apologized on the way out of the theater"
– Octowuss1
"This was definitely mine. I have never wanted to get up and leave a theater before in my life...ever for the worst of the worst. But A Wrinkle in Time almost broke me."
– MikeCross234
A Positive Result?
"Emoji movie. Don't ask"
– wh0_is_jj
"Wasnt this the movie that got Jordan Peele into directing because he was so insulted after being offered the role as poop and decided to just quit acting?"
– EXusiai99
"I had a former boss that said he watched it at a theater and was glad that it was at a theater with alcohol so that he was drunk watching much of it, but said that it probably would have been better on shrooms."
– SAugsburger
"My favorite thing about the Emoji Movie is that it's the reason Jordan Peele went into directing movies"
– eatenbyagrue1988
Yikes!
"Dragonball Evolution."
– briktop420
"Damn you paid to see it?"
– nctu5150
"So did I. What a waste of time and money. It's been 14 years and I'm still angry about it. Even for a generic teen B-movie it's been subpar. The blatant disrespect for the source material, it's almost as if the writers and director hated dragonball and did the movie out of spite."
– XTJ7
Respect The Source
"The Dark is Rising."
"The novels are a classic series of creepy, weird, Celtic mythology-based collection of nightmares... but for kids (or young adults). I've loved them my whole life."
"The movie is abomination to the extent that the guy who wrote the screenplay said he'd never actually finished the books because they were "boring.""
"It's beyond awful. I was fuming."
– matty80
The House Of Mouse
"As a lifelong X-Men fan, Dark Phoenix. Especially since it came out after Endgame."
– lakersfan1989
"Dark Phoenix was Disney's fault. The film had already been finished (or was already in the final stages) when negotiations began for Disney to buy Fox, which led to the release being postponed. When Disney bought Fox, they changed many things, they did re-recordings and redid a part of the post-production."
"Everything so that it would not overshadow the MCU Movies. Even the flames that characterize Fenix were removed and something else was put in, so that Captain Marvel was the only Heroine with flames and avoid comparisons."
"And I'm not exaggerating, I remind you that Dark Phoenix was going to be a trilogy. Beginning when Jean is possessed by the Phoenix force, Ella and Scott are chased and have to flee, the plot would take them to space and the third film would end as it did in the comics. Jean Gray sacrificing herself to save the universe."
"I can't believe what that damn mouse did to the x-men, he canceled the trilogy and changed the movie so much that it was horrible."
– Soren-J
2 Hours We'll Never Get Back
"Green Lantern starring Ryan Reynolds"
– Mash_Ketchum
"I will always love what they did in Deadpool 2 regarding the movie"
– edwpad
"Went to the midnight showing. The place was packed. Some guy came in cosplay too."
"He was the first to break the awkward silence after by shouting “WTF WAS THAT SH*T!""
– savwatson13
Wish This Didn't Exist
"Batman V Superman."
"Took my family and some friends to see it in the theater. I was hyped. First time seeing bats, Supes and Wonder Woman in the same film? It was going to be an event. You know? Like it’d surpass the avengers first assembling. I was looking forward to it more than Civil war."
"Then the movie was sh*t. I legit apologized to everyone I took for wasting their time."
"Then I saw it again thinking maybe I just didn’t get it and went in hoping for X but was disappointed in Y. Nope. Still didn’t like it."
"Then I heard about a directors cut of the movie that would add more time to it and I knew this was where the money was. I bought it the instant it came out. I watched it twice. Just to soak it all in."
"Nope. Still sh*t, but 30 minutes longer."
"I’m still mad at myself for seeing it twice. Every time since? Well, that’s just me doubling down."
– Finito-1994
Yep. I hated that one too!
Any films to add to the list? Let us know below in the comments.
Money can be the root of all evil.
But it can also be the root of all happiness.
What a pendulum.
There are some things that money simply makes easier.
And so many wealthy people try to downplay that truth.
Wouldn't it be nice to vacation whenever and wherever?
Or imagine getting sick and not caring about a co-pay or even a bill?
Redditor pambannedfromchilis wanted the wealthy to spill the deets on being wealthy, so they asked:
"What is something only a wealthy person would know?"
Tell me the secrets. Just first let me get a pen and paper.
Private Listings
I Am Rich Nene Leakes GIFGiphy"You can opt not to be on those 'wealthiest people' lists - for a price."
draggar
"The number of people that actively avoid those lists is far higher than the number of people on those lists. Also, some people actively manage the amount the list shows."
Ragnel
Call Me
"The phone numbers from people who could help you out of any (even bad) situation."
purevenuscookieslog
"All you need is one person with the right phone number and worth that level of protection."
There is a neighborhood in Colorado Springs with a large number of former generals, nuclear scientists, corporation directors, etc. Within 5 minutes of a burglary alarm going off, the criminal was dead. I can assure you that the Colorado Springs police can't respond that quickly."
jeffh4
HELP!
"The less help you need, the more you get."
manIDKbruh
"You have access to favorable credit lines with better rates than ordinary folk. They just throw money at you when you have money."
dbx999
"Bob Hope used to say 'a bank is a place that'll lend you money, but only if you can prove you don't need it.'"
tommytraddles
Premium Help
"How to fully use a hotel concierge service."
Firebolt164
"Was in Australia at a nice hotel. Wanted to go to Royal Observatory but there were no tickets that evening - only the evening we could make it. Ended up in casual conversation with the hotel concierge. At some, told him how much we were enjoying our visit and he asked if there was anything disappointing."
"I said only that we could not get into the Royal Observatory. He said he’d see what he could do, catching me by surprise having been unfamiliar with what a concierge does before then. That night my wife and I were looking at the Jewel Box through the telescope at the Royal Observatory."
arriesgado
Celeb Encounters
Rihanna Boat GIFGiphy"You can rent celebrities for your private events. Not just musicians, but bonafide actors and actresses."
MediumRareTaint
"I remember a few years ago the founder of Lululemon, Chip Wilson, had the Red Hot Chili Peppers play in his backyard here in Vancouver. We could hear them from the beach below."
madam1madam
If had the money to rent people for private events, Adele would have plans forever!
What is Rent?
Alicia Silverstone My Bad GIFGiphy"Have a friend who is moving to the Bay area. To work for a non-profit. Part-time. She didn't know what her salary would be."
minervazahara
Fly High
"Private jets come with different size luggage compartments."
thinkx5
"I mean, do all cars have the exact same size trunk? No, some are roomy as sh*t and some are teeny. It makes sense that different models from different manufacturers would have different sized/shaped compartments, especially given there are some that seat 4 passengers and some that seat 14."
fireandlifeincarnate
Member-Owned
"The difference between an equity country club and a membership country club."
smurfsundermybed
"Some country clubs have vested ownership (ie 100% member-owned) while others are owned by corporations. It really isn't always a prestige thing, many older clubs in the sticks only came about because they were member-owned and built by a group of families."
"Of course, nearly all of today's old-school elite courses started out as member-owned but that doesn't mean all member-owned courses are elite."
Salamok
"Yeah, this is a good one. Also, the understanding that you can't just walk into most private clubs, write a check for whatever the fee is and become a member. Most of the equity clubs have a white ball/black ball system too, similar to fraternities, where two or three blacks DQ you."
xkulp8
When in Need
"The VIP hotline number at the children's hospital when your kid needs urgent care but there's a big wait in the ER (but your kid isn't sicker than anybody else's kid in the ER), and you won't get to the front of the line. Blew my mind when a very wealthy friend told me he did this for his child (the friend's father was a huge donor to the hospital). More power to him, but there is the wealthy and then there is the wealthy."
off_mode_auto
The Most Valuable
Seth Meyers Time GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"That wealth is not what people see. It's what people don't get to see. That the most valuable asset is not things, but time."
shidored
Whoever said money can't buy happiness is lying.
There is the biggest secret.
We all have things that we enjoy and things that we absolutely can't stand, and that's also totally true of the things that people do around us or do to us.
And women have something to say about men's behavior, how they treat women, and what women would like them to stop doing, effective immediately.
Redditor enkiv2 asked:
"Women of Reddit, what's something specific that you wish men would stop doing?"
Clean Hands Required
"Stop trying to touch me (in any way) with dirty hands. Go clean your talons first."
- isthishowweadult
Know When to Stop Flirting
"If a woman tells you she's a lesbian when you're flirting, it means one of two things:"
"1: She is a lesbian."
"2: She is pretending to be a lesbian so you'll stop flirting with her."
"Either way, you should stop flirting with her."
- BW_Bird
No Unsolicited Pics
"Please stop sending d**k pics to random women online. It's just straight-up creepy and gross. If a woman wants to see your d**k, she'll ask for a picture."
- F**K_INDUSTRIAL
Take Rejection Gracefully
"Stop harming or threatening harm to women who reject them."
- prezzyofthedgc
End All Body-Shaming
"Stop being mean to girls they find unattractive."
- webbrlx
The Alpha Male
"Stop calling yourself an 'alpha' or 'sigma' male."
"You aren’t necessarily hurting anyone by doing it, but no one takes you seriously when you talk like that."
"I think people who call themselves Sigma consider themselves 'lone wolf' types. In my opinion, I think they’re trying to come across as one step less douchey by not believing they exist to boss people around, but it is clearly ineffective."
- aliteralbagof_d**ks
Step Aside
"When you need to get past me, please don't put your hands on my waist/hips/lower back to move me aside. I don't know you. Stop touching me."
- teddybearer79
Don't Make Me Laugh
"Just because a woman is not smiling, it is not your job to change that."
- Idol_Luna
Just No
"No is a complete sentence."
"Sorry, I was bored at work, so this was a bit short. What I meant is, if you are in a relationship with a guy, no would be a short, perhaps cold answer, but I don't think that's what OP meant."
"I meant it as, if a guy bothers you for any reason, like he wants your phone number or any socials you don't want to give him, you don't need to provide a reason, because a simple no should be enough. Unfortunately, a lot of men (yes I know, not all) won't take just a no for an answer and must know the reason, because whatever."
"So, to answer the original question: I wish some guys would just accept a simple no and would stop asking again and again and again for something that has already been answered with a no."
- H**lKaiserFox
Not "Like a Girl"
"Thinking that being a woman is a reason for her mistakes."
"I was one of the only three girls in an engineering course (of 60 people). And if I did a mistake in class, it was because I was a girl. But if my male coursemate made a mistake, it is only because humans are not perfect, and next time he will do better."
- Hezal05
Commitment and Loyalty
"Stop acting like they’re single while having a girlfriend."
- Sea-Dark-4953
Weaponized Incompetence
"Stop practicing weaponized incompetence."
- Kaitzilla
"What does that mean? I’d look it up, but women are just naturally better at researching things."
- orchidofthefuture
Show Some Manners
"Stop spitting on the floor in public. Why do they do it?"
- fruitmachine_future
Better to Be Safe than Sorry
"Stop dismissing our safety concerns and trying to gaslight us out of taking basic precautions."
- Raaqu
Not Everyone Is Compatible
"If a woman says she doesn’t want children, don’t respond by saying she doesn’t know better."
"I don't know where you guys get off of telling a grown woman that she doesn’t know what she wants, but it needs to stop. If she doesn't want children, respect her decision, and date someone else."
- sunny_rain316
We've surely all done something that bothered someone else in the room, whether that person told us or not. But there are certain behaviors that men practice so frequently that women have a response ready, just for this occasion.
While men surely have their annoyances regarding women, they surely could learn something from this list just the same.