Mental Health Professionals Reveal The Saddest Cases Of Childhood Trauma They've Treated
Trauma - some of it can't be fixed, and the people on the front lines of therapy confront the worst of the worst. Brace yourself, these are some harrowing stories.
LetsArgueAboutNothin asked mental health professionals of Reddit: What is the saddest case of "wow this person really fucked up because of how they were treated during their childhood" you have ever come across?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
Crappy.
One of my first cases when I first started in the mental health field and I'll never forget. I was providing therapy to a young girl who was pooping on herself after holding it in for as long as she could. Mom originally thought it was some kind of anxiety or fear of the toilet but after a couple more sessions I found out that the girl was being abused by her step father... it was heartbreaking to find that out and a hell of an introduction to the field.
Edit: Not sure if this is ok to do here but as a way to help people that don't have access to mental health services I started providing free mental health advice/ answering psychology related questions a few months ago through the form of social media and videos. If anyone is in need of assistance feel free to inbox me and I will provide you with my information. Thank you!
He is in jail for a long time, the investigation discovered several other things that sealed the deal for him. He won't be bothering the family for a good long while.
Money is not love.
Looked after a 14 year old, she was in hospital for her 15th birthday. Multiple suicide attempts (I'm talking 20+). On her birthday she wanted to call her mum, I let her but had to listen in (standard procedure). Her mum didn't say happy birthday but asked what she wanted, telling her she'd buy anything she wanted. Daughter said she just wanted to see her. Mum said she couldn't do that but she'd send presents. This girl was the daughter of two 'successful,' very wealthy lawyers. All she wanted was to see/spend time with them but they thought they could just throw money at her until she was 'better.' Money can't buy happiness. It's been a few years now and I wouldn't be surprised if she's had a completed attempt by now.
It's so sad how resigned your last sentence is.
There's this twisted thing.
I worked in corrections and on Sundays there would be coffee with breakfast. One of my female inmates always vomited and basically it turned out that as a teen her dad would assault her then buy her coffee to make himself feel less guilty about it. The sight or smell of coffee made her projectile vomit even a decade later.
What kind of sh*tty gesture is that ? How is coffee supposed to make any of this better ?
This is called "love bombing." The abuser gives gifts or attention to their victim as a way to alleviate their guilt about the abusive episode. We were poor, so my dad got me ceramic cat figures from the dollar store the day after he abused me. It gave me quite a bit of satisfaction to smash them as an adult.
When you've simply had enough.
Had a kid show up in my office saying he had not eaten all day. He missed his bus and just seemed to not want to leave. I call home and mom was not answering. The parents were divorced, so I called Dad. It was about 8:00 PM by this point. Dad answers and is obviously drunk off of his @ss at a bar (I heard the noise and music). I explain the situation and the dad says he will get someone to drive him to come pick him up. He never showed up.
About 10:00pm on a Tuesday or some sh*t now, so I call the police and they assist. Learned that the mother had overdosed on heroin and was found dead in the house. The father never showed up, and I was told he never tried to be a part of the kids life.
This kid had some terrible facial disfiguration from birth due to the mother using drugs and drinking during pregnancy. I have no idea how the kid was never removed from custody. I spent a lot of time with him because he didn't like people looking at him throughout the school day. I didn't give a f*ck about his grades, I just wanted him to enjoy something in life. We would watch old WWF clips because he loved wrestling.
He's dead now. Killed himself.
I switched careers after I heard that. F*cked me up. I tried to help.
Edit: thanks y'all.. I hate thinking about it sometimes, but I love thinking about some stupid little moments with em.
You tried and he probably remembered you for that. It's not your fault that he was in that situation or that no one else did their job to get him out. Something that you have to remember is that you can't control anything beyond the classroom, you gave him something safe and good while he was with you that's what matters.
"Fun time cuddles."
Working in group care, I had a client whose parents would sell her body, from to 'regular' travellers through town in exchange for drugs and money. Her family and extended family would tell her these people were friends and needed 'fun time cuddles' and that she was the best daughter that anyone could have because she was special for doing this.
When I was working with her in her teens she didn't trust anyone that ever gave her compliments, and would often have panic attacks when people said she did a good job at something or was skilled at something. Was the saddest fallout of abuse I think I've ever seen. She had several suicide attempts and a lot selfharm.
Last I heard (years ago), she's doing a lot better now after finding a good match for a therapist. I sincerely hope her family never sees the light of day again, and that some bad things happen to them in prison.
I
When one of my best pals was little, his parents used to inject him with heroin and crack cocaine... He said his social workers think it was because they wanted to test the drugs to be sure it wouldn't kill them before they used. He can't even see needles now almost 20 years later because they upset him so much and it crushes me as a friend.
That being said? He's now the most proud and protective father I've ever met. He'd do anything for that little girl of his and is one of the most loving parents I've ever seen. It's really amazing to see all the good that he's brought into the world as a person when dealing with so much f*cking pain.
Humans are depraved creatures.
While doing my psych clinical's over 20 years ago, we had this poor patient that was so abused as child. This took place in the 70s. Her father had a casket at his house. I can't remember if he worked at a funeral home or how he ended up with a casket. He drilled a hole just big enough so a straw could go through it. He would put his daughter in there and close the lid and gave her a straw to put through the hole so she can breath through the straw. He left her in there for extended of time. The poor girl was destroyed. As the psychotherapist was telling our group the story, our group were in tears. How can someone be this f*cked up to do this to their own child. The poor girl is so messed up and cannot live a normal life due to all the trauma this has caused her.
Edit: Many asked how she was destroyed. This abuse took place over her childhood till adulthood. In the 70's, child abuse was overlooked and often not believed by the child. Who would believe that a person would have a casket in their home. She was placed in a lock down facility and as students, we never had her as a patient. The psychotherapist explained that she did not meet her milestones and acted as if she was in the wild in away. She was probably oxygen deprived that also affected her brain. The poor girl basically grew up throughout the years being put in that dark airtight casket with a straw to breath through. It was so long ago and cannot remember the details how she turned out other than she is in this locked facility and has trigger points that sets her off. Our clinical group was crying all day after hearing this case. This broke me and realized that I cannot ever be a psych nurse. I am sure she suffered other abuse. Most of the patients in the psych facility were from an abusive parents. The next population was drugs, alcohol and chemical imbalance. To be honest, I felt in my own mechanism, I shut down after hearing the casket and straw bit. I could not handle it and felt sick all day.
Yeah this would mess me up too.
I worked at a psychiatric hospital for guys who had successfully argued Not Guilty for Reasons of Insanity pleas. One guy had murdered his neighbor after they had some kind of normal neighbory dispute. He told me, in detail, how he grew up on a farm and his dad would kill one of his dogs in front of him every time he acted out as a child.
The state psych hospitals are the worst of the worst. We keep shrinking the size and displacing people, pretty much anyone crazy enough to warrant a bed will have a backstory that gives you nightmares.
Inescapable pain
I'm a security guard on a psych unit. I once had a patient refuse her medicine, which is a fairly common occurrence. Normally, that's fine. The doctor will convince them to take their meds the next day. However, this girl was extremely psychotic. In some cases, we have to hold patients down for a shot. As soon as we walked in the room, this girl started screaming "Daddy please don't! I promise I'll stop! No! I'll be good!" She got the shot and just curled up and started bawling. This was the saddest forced shot we've ever had to give and all of us left the room completely silent.
The first time we all have sex is such a nerve wracking experience.
Everybody wants to be good. No... GREAT!
That probability is highly unlikely though.
There is so much to learn and navigate when it comes to sex.
RedditorBobirrrwanted to talk about the birds and the bees and all the information that surprised us. They asked:
"What did you not know about sex until you lost your virginity?"
Keep Trying
"Just because you’re having sex doesn’t mean you’ll become good at it without a remarkable amount of trial and error."
gotogarrett
"More than trial and error, you gotta ask your partner how it was, what they liked and didn’t like and what they want to try. Being able to have an open and honest conversation about sex with your partner makes it so much better."
Odd-Butterscotch-495
"Agreed. An ex friend of mine boasted that he was great in bed because his body count was over 50. Bro, if your body count is that high at that age, it means no one’s coming back for more."
Fabulous_Parking66
Wait
"When you have that mindset you won’t ever get the chance. It’s not that big of a deal and not something you need to put that much pressure on that you’re fretting about it like this. It’ll come, just be you and don’t sweat about it. I was 21 when I lost my virginity and all my friends were 15-18 when they lost theirs. I don’t regret when it happened and I don’t feel like I was late or missing out, it just happened when it happened."
chivesr
Together
"That two bellies rubbed together at just the right angle can make a loud fart noise. Funny tho when it does happen for the first time."
Equivalent_Squash
I hate that noise. Gross. It's confusing.
Style
"How you pleasure yourself can be a huuuge influence on your sex life."
User Deleted
It'a All New
"Instead of just after virginity, after years of having sex and looking back at my first time where my partner was much more experienced than me, I’ve realised that pretty much all sex with a new person, virginity or not, feels new. I was really hung up on being good at it when I should’ve treated it as a learning experience for the next time."
joleph
Too Much Porn
"That foreplay is SUPER important. You don't see it too much in a lot of porn so until you get into the bedroom you don't really consider the prep. Often times you just see people going at it which is great and all but everything is much better when both parties are warmed up."
FederalTiddyApraiser
It makes sense...
"That I was allergic to latex."
ideletedmyusername21
"Same. Friends would talk about having sex multiple times a day, and I was over here wondering WHY they would ever put themselves through that. It took days to recover. Someone finally mentioned a latex allergy, and it all made sense."
OnceAStudent__
"Omg this. Except my allergy was fairly mild. It meant peeling skin a couple days later. Literally took me years to find out why that was."
Ulfran
Noises Off
"The large amount of sounds that can be produced by the human body."
SnooWoofers455
Take note friends. Nobody is perfect out of the gate. Take you time. Do it right.
America is in quite a state right now.
We are hurting in ways we've never hurt before.
And getting better doesn't seem like an option on the horizon.
America gets a lot wrong everyday.
But, maybe let's try to focus on what America does right.
Maybe it can be a little comfort in times of struggle.
People from all over the world want to live here.
Why?
Redditor Ulrich-Stern wanted to discuss the best of America. They asked:
"What does the United States get right?"
I think America certainly has a strong work ethic. We know how to work and win.
Getting Around
"Accessibility code for buildings. I come from a country where disability is looked upon like a crime or fault. USA does an amazing job making things accessible. I haven’t seen all of USA but majority of the places has amazing system."
snreddit87
The Backbone
"Our public libraries are a real backbone for the country."
"Andrew Carnegie's groundwork in building the institution of free libraries, even in small towns, set a precedent that we wouldn't fathom today but couldn't live without. They often serve not only as an information exchange but as cultural hub, art gallery, performing arts center, tax aid, voter registration, job resources, etc. in communities."
"Plus they're one of the only places you can just exist for hours indoors without the expectation you must buy something.And I feel like they've adapted to the ever-changing needs of their patrons in modern times faster in the US than most places."
"'A library outranks any other one thing a community can do to benefit its people. It is a never failing spring in the desert.' -Andrew Carnegie"
fadedVHS
'restore' or 'create'
"Valuing actual wilderness in places like national parks. Here in England, they will 'restore' or 'create' natural habitats, which is sort-of nice, but they are almost like zoos. They are too small to survive by themselves so they are actively maintained."
"And in some English national parks, they actually allow housing developments as long as the architectural design is sympathetic. Here, 'countryside"'means farms. There is still a notion in the USA of protecting some large wilderness areas from development."
anon5005
Nicotine Fiends
"The rate of smoking cigarettes. We do very little well in the US when it comes to overall health, but we are light years better than most places when it comes to the prevalence of cigarette smoking. Hardcore anti smoking adds + laws of inconvenience + social stigma really did work."
pasta_sauce87
Hollywood
"Films. Don't get me wrong, the US can put out some bad films, but the best ones I've seen are usually American."
ConcreteGardoki
We do do films well. That is a big plus.
Family
"The United States adopts more children than the rest of the world combined."
noodles43r
The Menu
"Burgers. Motherfreakin' burgers."
ProfessorRoyHinkley
"I'd expand that to sandwiches in general. Burgers, Philly cheese steaks, Reubens, subs, clubs, chopped cheese, po'boys, just this whole sandwich spectrum. Americans just took sandwich concepts from across the globe and ran with them."
gurnard
Natural Beauty
"I've always envied your wildlife. I'm from England and the only large wild animals (other than fish) we have are deer, boar and foxes. And they're incredibly rare. I've always thought it was so cool one country could have bears, moose, cougars, alligators, panthers, bison/buffalo, etc."
gateman33
Quickies
"Gas stations like QuikTrip, where they have clean bathrooms, lighted parking lots, free air for your tires, ten different coffees on tap, beer, hotdogs, any soft drink or snack you want, the list goes on. In other countries -- you're not gonna believe this -- their gas stations only sell... gas."
Blort_McFluffuhgus
POWER
"The US is an absolute science powerhouse. The technology we come out with has touched the lives of nearly every person on the planet."
AmericanHoneycrisp
Welcome
"I say this as an immigrant who came to this country, so perhaps take it with a grain of salt. But it truly gives people a second chance at life. My life would be nowhere near as good as it is right now if I were back in my home country."
Porongas1993
Maybe America isn't the hot mess a lot of people think it is. We'll see...
Sex is an important part of life.
That is just a fact.
But sex is also about connection and intimacy.
So it's not a surprise when many relationships take a hit after the sex dries up.
It's not something to ignore.
It's the biggest problem in the world, but partners should discuss it.
RedditorItsyBitsyJoxywanted to hear about reasons to stick around with a partner when there is no sexy time. They asked:
"Would you be in a sexless relationship? What circumstance would you find acceptable for this?"
Sex is fun. And when the sex stopped in my relationships... so did the fun. But that is just me.
A Certain Era
"I'm over 80."
Head-like-a-carp
"There’s a lot of people that are going to be real shocked once they hit their 70s."
KarateKid72
Ruin
"Our second child has ruined her sex drive. Intimacy is still there but extremely infrequently. I've learned how much that intimacy brings to the relationship, it feels very lonely and although I know it's not her fault, it can still make you feel like she's not attracted to me anymore. It can be pretty lonely too if you go from a romantic relationship to borderline platonic one. You can't help wonder how much is body changes and how much is you."
W0otang
Let's Hug
"I had rectal cancer and because of the surgery I can no longer get an erection, it's very lonely."
rickroll62
"Not sure if one exists, but a site to just make friends to be cuddle buddies, or whatever, should exist for people like you & me. I lost my sex drive & would like a relationship for that occasionally."
"In my case, it's not wanting to see someone very often, as well as the lack of sex drive, that I think would make it difficult. I also don't like people over to my home as it's too small for a couch & we'd be hanging out on my bed, which is weird to me."
lefthandbunny
Problems
"I'm in one now. My husband had a stroke... no sex is not the big problem for either one of us."
Altaira99
"This comment brings a lot of perspective. My gut reaction to this question was no. Sex was and still is pretty significant in my relationship with my wife. We’re in our 30’s and have been together over a decade. But if something happened to her and it was no longer an option? I would never leave her and love her too damned much to imagine it, no matter how much we love sex."
Spectre627
Pain
"I have a near sexless marriage. The love is strong, but the desire is one-sided. That hurts."
ztirffritz
Sexless over loveless is definitely easier. So there is that.
Over time...
"I am happily married to my good lady for decades and decades. There are times when it has been sexless for whatever reason but never has it been loveless.I wouldn’t have lasted 2 days in a loveless relationship."
Regthedog2021
You play the cards you are dealt
"I’m dating a man who got diagnosed with prostate cancer a year or so into our relationship. Prostate had to come out and it’s a hit or miss whether or not sexual function comes back. In his case, it was a miss. He wanted me to move on because he got very depressed over it."
"He’s so pleasant and a real decent human being so I stayed with him. Who would abandon someone due to a health crisis? Unfortunately he got bladder cancer next so this is another hurdle to go over. You play the cards you are dealt. We are together in this."
KitchenWitch021
Key Factors
"The reasons for the 'sexlessness' and the depth of the relationship are key factors. My wife got breast cancer at 40 and while she lived another 8 years, the chemotherapy nullified her libido and made intercourse impossible. And yet I dearly wish we could have grown old together whether or not this would have changed. But that’s completely different from cohabiting a loveless marriage or even facing such a situation in one’s youth only a few years after marriage. That would be hard."
eric_nathanson
Options
"A sexless relationship is better than a loveless relationship, as long as I'm loved and we share physical affection like cuddling and kisses and I'm allowed to beat my meat when I need too I wouldn't care. Just a heads up to all the people who take this personally enough to comment how wrong I am."
"There's no such thing as a wrong option, my opinion is in regards to myself and myself alone I'm not answering for anyone else. Different opinions aren't wrong... OP asked a question to be answered from your own point of view..so there's no reason to call anyone else wrong... it's about you, answer for YOU I've answered for me."
TheSims4Dude
Love is there...
"I'm in one. Not happy about it, but love is still there so that's nice."
Strythe_Horde
"Same. Maybe had it once in the last 12 years. Finally decided to go to couples/sex therapy this year. Not sure it is helping, but at least I finally brought up that I wanted to try something. My wife is my best friend and I love here with every fiber, just wish there was more intimacy there."
iathpa
it never happens...
"We haven't had sex in five months due to numerous reasons. Never have alone time with my mom and daughter here. We're both too tired. Our bed we have sex on is where my mom is sleeping. Our waterbed is difficult to use. We always say next weekend and it never happens. We're still going strong though. We love each other and that's what matters."
prettysouthernchick
Well I guess some people can make it work. More power to you.
We all have things which get on our nerves.
Some people have a fairly high tolerance level, and are only truly perturbed by things which are beyond the bounds of common decency, or which are universally accepted as annoying or inconvenient.
Others are not so lucky, and tend to be set off by things which might go completely unnoticed by everyone else.
Redditor Onatic420 was curious to learn the things which instantly make others want to pull their hair out and scream, leading them to ask:
"What do you find annoying as f*ck?"
Is it so hard to pick up after yourself?
"Habitual litterers."- SuvenPan
"When people don’t clean up after themselves."- cheeto_has_spoken
If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen
"People that can dish it but can’t take it."
"I work with a dude like this and it’s terrible."- MF_Ghidra
Never judge something by it's size.
"When skin tears near your fingernail and that teeny tiny wound hurts way more than it should."- BlackCaaaaat
"Buzz Buzz"
"When mosquitoes fly by ur ears."- AxcesDrifter
Back to where we started...
"The Reddit app when it scrolls back up to the top of the 65 TRILLION FKN articles you’ve read."
"It should burn the articles as you read them."- Deathdar1577
Get out of the way!
"People who leave the f*cking shopping carts in middle of the f*cking aisle!"- otherm0ther
But enough about me, what do you think of me?
"People who make it all about themselves."- ExtensionAir7
A lost cause
"Willfully ignorant people."- KingZaneTheStrange
Be it the way another person behaves or common, every day occurrences, we all have things which get on our nerves.
Most of the time it's best to grin and bear it.
But next time you see someone litter, it might be a fine opportunity to let that anger out.
For your sake, and everyone else's.