The following behavior just screams, "gay," fellas. Watch out.

Song Choice

"Sing a Lily Allen song during karaoke."

– KentuckyFriedEel

School Protocol

"Advice I received in high school from other students:"

"Don't cross your legs with one knee over the other. Put one ankle over the other knee."

"When carrying books, palm them and carry them at your side. Don't rest one edge of the books near your waist."

"Never button the top button of your shirt."

– Gorf_the_Magnificent

Look, But Don't Look

"This one time, at summer camp, this guy who'd just been swimming in the lake told me you could tell how cold the water was by how hard his nipples were. 'But don't stare too long,' he said, 'because that's gay.'"

"You were the one who told me to look in the first place!"

– SonOfTheShire

Sandwich For Sissies

"When I was a kid, my dad called me a sissy because I cut a sandwich diagonally."

– captainmagictrousers

Getting Woodwind

"I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet a lot."

– Virtual_Caramell

Choice Words

"I Was told that the word assumption made me gay. This guy thought big words (?) made me an intellectual, and in his mind, intellectual - gay."

– PWesterberg1977

Living In Narnia

"Hot tea is gay?"

"Well f'k me, my entire country must actually be Narnia, seeing as we all must be deep in the closet without knowing it over this hot tea situation."

– Sonnyboy1990

The Singing Competition

"Watch the Eurovision Song Contest."

"I don't care, it can be as gay as it likes I still want to hear the music. (Although seriously the uk needs to up its game but that's another story)"

– zippy72

"But that's what women do," one might argue.

Daddy Duty

"Changing my daughter's diaper. Mentioned it in the office one day. Called gay."

– Bullydaddy

People Break Down The Nicest Celebrities They've Ever Met | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

A Lighter Shade

"Buying a white IPhone."

– Freshrendar

"Added my husband (then boyfriend) to my phone plan. Went to the store on my own to upgrade both our phones. We both just wanted the next gen Samsung. It was only available in purplish-pink in store."

"I shrugged and said it didn't matter, he's putting a case on it anyways. Guys working at the store kept trying to talk me out of it, actively pushing me to go to another store, making them lose commission, just so my partner wouldn't have a feminine phone. He used his pink phone for 3 years."

– Caity26

Life Skills

"I've been criticized for knowing how to sew and cook. Those are essential life skills!"

– placeholderNull

"My father was a Marine drill instructor in the 50's. Guess who did all the sewing in my house growing up?"

"Yeah, no one dared to call him gay for it."

– desrever1138

Lots Of Colors

"When I was 10 or so, I brought an umbrella to school on a rainy day with the colors red, yellow, green, and blue. My dad of all people told me to never use that umbrella again because the colors were too closely resembled to a rainbow which stood for homosexuality."

"I was f'king 10, I was far from puberty and had no idea. I just wanted to stay dry and grabbed the only umbrella available at the time."

"Now that I think about it, why did we even own that umbrella then? HUH, DAD?"

– ThaDFunkee

Bad Flavor

"My dad told me 'rainbow sherbet is for p**sies' when I was like eight. I stopped eating my favorite flavor for 10 years until I had that flashback and asked him about it".

"He said 'Oh, I didn’t like rainbow sherbet and always had to finish the parts you didn’t eat so I wanted you to get mint chocolate chip instead.' It makes me wonder what things I might say to my kids that will scar them for life without even thinking about it."

– vincentrm

Girls And Gays Apparently Have This In Common

"i'm a teenager, not quite a man, but here's a story."

"a kid asked me if i liked crunch or creamy peanuty butter, i said creamy, and they told me since i like creamy peanut butter and not crunchy, it was 'gay,' because 'only girls or gay guys like creamy peanut butter.'"

"i was so confused."

– TiredSkylar

Here are examples of guidelines for being a manly man, according to manly men.

Manly Appetite

"Not a straight man but... back in my bartending days I asked a man if he wanted to see a dessert menu. He said 'if I wanted dessert I'd order wings like a real man.'"

"Weird flex but okay."

– BigJiggies

When I'm In The Mood, I Masticate

"When I'm feeling extra manly, I just take a bite out of a cow and then chew on some raw wheat."

"Like a man."

– AmigoDelDiabla

No Appointments Necessary For Straight Men

"I left a pick-up basketball game because I had an appointment to get a haircut. Evidently, the only straight way to get a haircut is as a walk in."

– patricksaurus

Abiding By The Law Is So Gay

"Using turn signals. And not as some sort of euphemism, but literally using them while driving to turn or change lanes."

– Sargatanus

In grade school, some fellow classmates asked me to check for gum on my shoe because they saw me step in some.

When I lifted my leg to take a gander, the boys were howling hysterically as if my actions confirmed something.

Well, it sure did. Apparently, if I l looked at the bottom of my shoe from in front of me, I was "normal," but since I bent my leg back and looked at the bottom of my shoe from behind, that made me "so gay."

Although, I didn't come out 'til years later, maybe those goons were onto something. Thanks for the heads up, guys.

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