Relationships are hard. Finances are hard. Making things work with someone from a completely different lifestyle than your own is hard. Being in a relationship with someone who has a lot more money than you can be like a perfect storm of "oh no." When that perfect storm slams into the fragile isles of masculinity and societial expectations ... well ...
One Reddit user asked:
And yeah, things got interesting. Firstly, there are some happy endings in here, so it's not all tragic. Chin up. I wouldn't do that to you. Secondly, a shocking number of responses didn't really have much to do with money. For most people it seemed to come down to a lack of ability to connect and relate. Finally - societal expectations and the weight they put on people really, really suck. Oh, and shout out to the phrase "wealth whispers" - which is something we'll be thinking on for a long time. Here are some of the more popular stories about men who dated much wealthier women.
A friend of mine dated a very rich girl that grew up a few hours away from us, they bought a small modest house and had a baby. Her family didn't like him because he was a construction worker and didn't have the "class" they expected. They built them a new huge house next to theirs and pressured them to move to it but my friend had a job and life that he liked and she was a stay at home mom. Anyway after a few years it just caused so much tension that their relationship ended and she moved into the house herself and he is basically screwed because they said if he tries to do anything legal that they will bury him. Now he has to drive 3 hours just to see his daughter.
Punched In The Gut
I live in the Bay area. My girlfriend isn't super wealthy, but wealthy enough to live in an expensive area. Expensive for me, at least.
I love her so much, but it's difficult sometimes because I never have money for anything. She's always willing to pay for me but every time she does it's like getting punched in the gut. Even small amounts like for public transit. She's always very understanding but that doesn't make it any less difficult.
Admitting financial struggles. When my wife and I were dating in university, her family invited me up to their cottage during the break between Christmas and New Years to ski, skate and otherwise play in the snow. I wanted to go, but I didn't know how to ski, and had no outdoor clothing appropriate to be out n the snow (no ski jacket, pants or boots). I declined the invitation, but my then-girlfriend was really sad and asked why. I had to admit I didn't have the gear needed and I couldn't afford them. She then passed it on to her family and when I visited them on Xmas day, they led me to a a room with 3 types of everything new with tags laid out on a bed for me to choose from. It was a wonderful gesture, but I had mixed feelings - I appreciated the gear very much, but I felt like a charity case.
Also, managing expectations of my wife for travel and expectations with children's activities- she was used to jetting away whenever they felt like it and had her own horses growing up. That's just not an option for us. We do OK and we're happy, but horses are not financially viable.
Keeping up with her. She wanted to go on European trips, expensive vacations, expensive restaurants, etc. She made very good money and I was limited in my funds and had to spread it out. I couldn't just fly to the Caribbean at the drop of a hat. So, in turn, she left me for a guy who could.
Ruined By Pride
I guess I had a different type than everyone else. We worked together and you wouldn't know she was rich unless you really got to know her.
She worked as a diversion, something to do and meet new people. She never looked at the price of anything, had a $5,000 watch, dolce gabbana glasses she would break at least once a month cause she's clumsy.
Very humble, very sweet and probably the hardest worker there (we were managers). The issue was that there was absolutely nothing we could do together that was new to her. She had more money and free time, her bucket list was completed by 22. There was nothing new or fresh within my... I dunno the word, realm? Ability?
We got along great and I found out from a mutual friend she was excited to be with someone not using her or groveling cause she was 'fuck you' levels of rich.
It was my pride I think that ruined it, nothing she did. I had issues letting her pay for everything and I was unable to show her anything she hadn't seen, I stopped being fun because I couldn't wow or impress her and it got in my head, she was perfectly happy doing normal things, but it wasn't enough for me, I HAD to impress her.
We lost contact years ago, I hope she's doing well, she was fucking awesome and deserves to be happy
My roommate was very wealthy and her boyfriend ended up living with us for 2 years and I remember they would have the saaaame fights all the time. He came from a very poor household, tough family life, in a not-so great area of the city, didn't graduate high school, etc. He was supporting himself working as a bartender. Compared to his childhood financial situation he viewed supporting himself with a steady job as being successful whereas she was always wanting him to do more, be bigger, etc.
They also fought a lot over birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, etc. She would buy him really expensive gifts that he needed, but couldn't afford to buy himself. He needed new winter boots and a coat so she would buy him really nice ones for Christmas. A good coat and boots with one or two other items can easily get close to $5-600. He could never get her a gift of such magnitude. She was somewhat understanding that he couldn't pay for something like that, but he used to tell me he always felt a lot of pressure to match her really expensive gifts with really creative ones. He said he would dread holidays, Valentines day and birthdays, because he would get so stressed out trying to constantly think of creative ways to match her really expensive gifts. It seemed to me like he was getting really bitter about having so much stress over creating a gift vs. her being able to spend 5 minutes using her parents money to get him something.
I think it was also tough because she wanted to do so much stuff and had the financial security to do it. She wanted to travel a lot and he just couldn't afford it. She would pay for him sometimes, but that bothered him. I met up with them once when I was living in Thailand and she kept using phrases like "This is so cheap for..." Like she would insist we got to the most expensive restaurants in the area because a comparative restaurant in the states would be way more expensive.
She also had a massive inheritance. She doesn't have access to it till she's 35, but he used to tell me he was so bitter that he would probably have to work his whole life until he was dead and would probably never make enough to really retire whereas she could basically stop working at 35 if she wanted.
They dated for 4 years, but it eventually fell apart.
I dated a pretty rich girl. Her dad was a prominent lawyer, her mom a successful artist, and her uncle was a 1980's pop star. Honestly? They were great people to be around. They were old money and not snotty or overly pretentious. Yes they had a big ass old house and drove quality (not overly flashy) cars. Yes they had whatever they wanted but not at all in a "look at me" type way. I on the other hand was DIRT POOR!!! I mean in the early 90's grunge was a blessing for me because I looked like that already. But her parents didn't care and we're always very welcoming. Her mom even took me to my first punk show. I guess it's true when they say cash screams and wealth whispers.
Little Acts Of Negligence
For me it was the little acts of negligence and damage that would cost money, but could be prevented. She would say "We'll call someone to fix it" but that person in my world was me. Which meant an hour of watching YouTube videos and a trip to the hardware store.
Every time she slammed shut a silverware drawer it made me wince. Doesn't matter that we both have good salaries... no way am I calling someone to charge me $250 for a minor fix.
I dated a girl from a wealthy family when I was in college and I was very poor. The most frustrating thing for me was that our definition of a crisis was so different. From month to month I would literally not know whether I could afford my rent or be able to put gas in my car and she would be freaking out about some (to me) minor social issue or whether a store carried a fashion brand she liked.
It definitely made things difficult and I had to remember that it's your perspective that dictates what is a crisis and what isn't. It was honestly a lesson I've tried to remember over the years.
Joe And Sarah
Let me tell a story that I think will provide a nice contrast to the majority of the comments here... this story isn't mine, but that of a close friends'.
So Joe went away to college and met Sarah there halfway through freshman year. They were on-again-off-again for a while before deciding to date seriously in junior year. They met each others families during breaks or visit days at school. By all accounts, Sarah's family was polite and nice and relatively laid back. Not a whiff of arrogance or anything like that.
Fast forward to the end of senior year. Joe's paternal grandfather is on his deathbed and Joe desperately wants to go say goodbye. However, they go to school in a small town with a private airport (think Cessnas) and the closest major airport is several hours away by car. Neither Joe or Sarah has a car and the big airport didn't have a direct flight, so it would have been pushing 24 hours until he got to the hospice center to see his grandfather. This was destroying Joe, as he and grandpa were very close and he was essentially a second father to him.
Without a word, Sarah pulled Joe into a cab and took him to the airport. Waiting for them was Sarah's families' private plane. Joe and his family were all astounded. They had NO idea Sarah's family was wealthy, and especially not private plane wealthy.
Anyways, off Joe went. He was able to say his goodbyes and he flew coach back to school. Sarah never said a word about it one way or the other and neither did Joe.
They are now married and both doing well in their careers, and from what I can tell live a very normal life. But every once in a while they disappear off to some remote island or jungle or mountain for a few days and don't tell anyone but their family where they're going.
Don't be alarmed: There are some terrible corporations out there (looking at you, Nestle) but there are also some great brands that are selling decent products.
I know, surprising, right? Maybe we've all just gotten used to brands selling things of questionable quality that when we stumble across something worthwhile it stuns us.
Hold on tight when you find a brand deserving of your loyalty!
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor spwf asked the online community,
"What brand(s) do you swear by and why?"
"Their cast iron pans..."
"Lodge. Their cast iron pans are super durable and can last a lifetime."
Not just a lifetime. Your Lodge cast iron will outlive you, if (and even if you don’t) take care of it. Even if they get rusty they can be resurfaced. And damn is it satisfying to resurface a forgotten cast iron pan.
Asics, specifically the Gel-Nimbus series. I've suffered from joint pain and unbearable plantar fasciitis from a relatively young age... These shoes are life savers. Very pricey and I don't love the look of tennis shoes of any type but nevertheless I will praise these shoes to the end of days. Hopefully, I will always be able to afford them once a year.
Glad to hear you've found some much-needed relief!
"Warranty and service..."
"Victorinox. Excellent pocket knives, multi tools and their kitchen knives are probably the best ones you can get under 100 USD. Warranty and service is top notch."
Anyone who cooks, but can't afford or doesn't want to invest in a professional-grade chef's knife should get a Victorinox. They aren't nearly as good as a top tier professional chef's knife, but they are night and day compared with everything else in their price range.
"This one brand..."
"This one brand of granola bars called Sunbelt Bakery. Every other granola bar brand is so dry I can't eat them anymore."
Yes, these are so good! An excellent choice.
"Dickies. High quality pants. They're meant to be work pants so they're pretty durable and breathe well. Very comfortable."
"High quality" is right. Those pants last forever.
"It helps clean..."
"Dawn dishsoap. It helps clean dishes and it's great when one of my kids has an accident and I have to wash their clothes. Sometimes leaves a small stain but no smell. It has saved so many outfits."
Fantastic – it sounds like you should be their salesperson.
"They don't use..."
"New Balance. They don't use slave labor to make shoes."
They are comfortable and fit well.
I personally still don't like the aesthetics of many of their shoes, but still recommend them to people who want a good shoe.
"They are a retailer..."
"REI. Stand behind everything in their store. They are a retailer but you can beat something up they sell and they give you a full refund."
Many people use them for shoes, for camping gear... all kinds of stuff. They're very reliable.
"I wear my Timberland boots..."
"I wear my Timberland boots almost every day, I’ve had them for almost ten years, and they’re still just about as sturdy as they were the day I bought them."
These shoes tend to last forever. "Durable" is the perfect word.
"One large bottle..."
"Dr. Bronner's Castile soap. One large bottle lasts me about a year and I use it for everything. No toxic BS in them like pretty much every other soap and they smell fantastic."
"Also when I say everything I really mean it. All purpose cleaner, dish soap, body wash, shampoo, carpet extractor wash, dog shampoo, it’s called 18 in 1 for a reason."
If you're interested in the story behind the company, the documentary Dr. Bronner's Magic Soapbox might be right up your alley.
See? Not all brands are terrible. After reading about some of these, it might be time to change of your buying habits.
Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
You know what would be great?
If society could just stop with arbitrary dress codes. If you're not working with the public, why should you have to dress up so much? If you're a police officer, then it makes sense that you'd wear a uniform that identifies you as a police officer. If you're Ted from IT who sits in the backroom all day, I really don't see why you have to come in every day in a suit and tie.
Let's just toss them out, shall we?
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Levels2ThisBrush asked the online community,
"What should be socially acceptable but isn't?"
"Leaving the office..."
"Leaving the office whenever you've finished your tasks for the day."
This is why I'm so glad remote work is the new office.
"And yet, I get it!"
"Taking off sick from work, WITHOUT giving an invasive reason. I supervise a small team and so I see all the OOO emails, and for gods sake I want people to PLEASE not feel the need to explain in detail what kind of diarrhea is afflicting them, or how bad their period cramps are, or how much bad sushi they ate the night before. Just say “I’m under the weather, I won’t be online today.”"
"And yet, I get it! I do it too! I feel guilty or like I’ll be looked at with suspicion if my reason for taking off isn’t sufficiently debilitating enough!"
"But… we need to stop this. As a manager I don’t care, I don’t THINK the people above me who are also on these emails care… let’s just all agree to take sick days without any details from now on!"
I do not miss my retail days where I had to organise someone to cover me and beg on bended knee.
"Cashiers or workers who don’t need to be standing all day not having a stool or chair."
Another thing I do not miss from my retail days. Having to stand for hours and hours only to come home with my feet killing me was not fun.
"Prices on apartments..."
"Prices on apartments and their respectable reasons for such price directly on their websites or advertising without the need for a tour or any secrecy."
I always assume if I have to ask the price I probably can’t afford it.
"Being quiet/not wanting to engage in conversation all the time."
In Finland, if somebody tries to talk to you, they are probably a tourist.
"Choosing not to..."
"Choosing not to have toxic family members in your life."
It feels very liberating once you accept that you don't have to put up with it.
"Employees calling customers out in public for being a**holes."
Absolutely. Many customers get away with treating employees horribly because they know they can do it without any pushback... most of the time.
"The fact that I sometimes..."
"The fact that I sometimes need to take my insulin in public. No, Karen, I am not doing drugs, I need to live."
You’re getting that sweet sweet insulin high… the high of being not-dead.
"Afternoon naps. I’m on team nap. Give me 25 minutes to charge up and I’ll give you back 3 hours of high quality work. Everyone wins. Plus I go home with extra energy instead of dead tired."
Short naps don't work for me. I can't do a 25 min recharge. When I take a nap it needs to be like a solid 2 hours
"Salary transparency. For some reason, in the US, there’s a taboo or stigma around discussing one’s salary. This should be done openly and freely, with zero embarrassment or judgment. The only winners from avoiding these conversations are the corporations that are able to pay people differently for the same roles. Speak up!"
The "for some reason" you're referring to is simply propaganda on behalf of corporations.
It's evident that something's got to change around here, and we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
As much as many of us don't like to disrupt the status quo, there is only so much time a person can tolerate a miserable situation before things become so unbearable that they ultimately have to peace out.
For some people, it takes a while for them to reach a breaking point. Eventually, there comes a time when they realize their self-worth is more important than continuing to please others who don't appreciate them for the sake of keeping up with appearances.
Curious to hear from people whose patience ran thin and made a strong decision, Reddit Prestigious-Order-62 asked:
"What made you say 'f'k this sh*t im out?'"
The unwarranted reprimanding was something that was never mentioned in the initial job description.
"In the late 90’s."
"One time I got pulled into the Security office at a Department store I worked at. They accused me of constantly using the sales day coupons for people that didn’t present one (we always kept an extra copy at each register). I had watched my own department boss do it many times so I assumed it was okay. We didn’t even collect the coupons to be counted for the cash office, we just chucked them after use."
"They claimed I lost the store hundreds of dollars and had been watching me 'for months' do this awful, unforgivable crime for people spending 90 bucks on already bloated price designer jeans. I’m sure the occasional 10% discount was just devastating. 🙄""I got this huge lecture of how I was LITERALLY stealing from the store and they COULD call the police but would give me a chance to work off the damage. I couldn’t believe how criminal I was made to feel over it. The best part when they called my boss in who pretended to have never done it before to save her own a**."
"I asked if they were firing me. They said 'Yes and No. You will be let go, but you can choose to work off the damages so we don’t take you to court.' I told them I will just quit and asked for my last check. They said they will deduct what I owe from my last check. And I said 'Well then you need to show me all the footage and prove that I was stealing.' They wouldn’t produce footage, finally called the cops, and when the cops arrived, they were just as confused and called it an internal problem and advised them that this was overblown. I think they felt sorry for me. So finally upper management came in and just said 'just issue the last check, I will sign it here.' So much drama over so stupid a thing."
"It was sad because that actual day my Mom and daughter had come to the mall to meet me for lunch and I had to explain I just was forced to quit that job and was never allowed in that store again like I was some awful jerk."
"It was nice a few short years later, the entire chain bankrupted."
"A coworker waited until we were in front of a large group of people to start 'disciplining' me for something 'wrong' I did (I took my lunch 15 mins late to help another coworker) when she wasn’t even my supervisor. Applied for a job transfer the next day and couldn’t be happier where I am now."
"I had a piece of sh*t of a boss. He'd praise you in private but berate you in public. In front of coworkers and customers. Always about stuff that didn't matter."
"He'd also happily break company policy to side with customers after you spent an hour telling a customer you can't give them stuff for free, for example. Any time he was around, everything was miserable."
"My only regret is that I wasn't there to see him marched out by corporate when he got fired, because I had gone on to a better job by then."
Human Punching Bag
"I used to work in a Kitchen at a pub, it was grim work, but I had freinds there and had worked there for 3 years, So it wasn't too bad."
"One Christmas season we were being absolutely pumped, full out functions and busy services. My boss at the time was very stressed and fair enough, We were busy, We were all working overtime and full out. He used any excuse to completely blow up and absolutely scream at me for little to no reason, essentially him yelling at me was his stress relief. But fine, whatever, kitchens are rough places, no appolagies or anything, move on."
"I then go away for 3 weeks over the Christmas holidays and spend the time road tripping around the country having an amazing time."
"First shift back, not pleased being back, he makes a snarky comment."
"F'k this, Im out."
Even though these employees weren't chewed out in front of co-workers, the low salary without room for negotiation made them not wanting to stick around for much longer.
You Only Get One Job
"They cut my hours so I had to get a second job. 3 days before I was supposed to start said second job, my manager at the main job told me that I couldn't get this second job because I had main job first and I needed to make it my priority. That's when I said f'k you and left. I didn't even give a notice, I literally just sent an email saying I wouldn't be coming in the next day, grabbed my sh*t and went home."
"I used to work Retail and after 7 years at the company, I found out I was only making 50 cents more an hour than someone who just started yesterday. I understood if they couldn't pay me more and asked for a good schedule. 7-3 or 8-4 every day and the same two days off every week. I didn't even ask for weekends off."
"I was told that they couldn't give me a good schedule so I quit."
Situations weren't much different outside the work place. Social dilemmas prompted these Redditors to say, "nope."
"Went to a pub because a friend kept asking. When I got there, he was with a group of people I didn't know, so I introduced myself and got the next round. As I come back with the tray, I hear them saying something along the lines of 'why is that b*tch still here? I thought she was just supposed to drop off a bicycle?' 'Ya, we don't want her to come to <this other town with more pubs> and now she is drinking with us?' 'She's so dumb' *proceeds to imitate and ridicule me as I was actively listening and nodding when I was having a conversation with my friend."
"Gave the beer to random people and walked right out after saying good evening to my friend and briefly explaining I did not appreciate being tricked into being a bicycle taxi for people who hate me directly after meeting me."
A Shocking Incident
"I was on my boat fishing for bass. I casted out my line and watched the lure hit the water but the line just floated in the air. Lightning and thunder crashed and the line fell to the water. F'k this sh*t, I'm out."
"She lined my bed with broken glass put the blankets over it and I dove on in lol."
"Edit: She was violent/crazy and on drugs, was like the 20th attack I took and that made me really think lol."– MyLifeForAuir1
Ally For The Ex
"I found nudes of his ex (from ten years ago) that I’d previously asked him twice to get rid of tucked in a pair of MY socks. Our couples counselor asked why he’d kept them and he said, 'You know. In case I ever needed to blackmail her.' He said it like it was a perfectly normal and reasonable thing to plan to do. The therapist and I locked eyes and I noped the f'k out of there and moved out."
Most of these Redditors realized leaving their situation was better than dealing with the consequences of sticking around.
The latter is never a good option. Why remain in a scenario you know is already going to consume your soul?
The lesson for today is–Don't be miserable. Your sanity is worth saving.Besides, you would never know that something better awaits if you just don't get the F out.
As we enter into the summer months, people now have to decide whether or not they want their morning coffee to be hot or iced.
Lucky for them, it's delicious either way.
One could make an argument that foods that are equally delicious hot or cold are perhaps the best, or at least the most reliable.
And this can include foods which are not customarily sold both hot and cold (cold pizza anyone?).
Redditor NectarineOther4989 was curious to hear which foods people enjoy either hot or cold, leading them to ask:
"What is something that tastes good both hot and cold?"
Fresh out of the oven, or the next day!
Chocolate withstands all temperatrues
"Chocolate."Chocolate Satisfying GIF by HuffPostGiphy
Can't go wrong with fruit and pastry
"Apple pie."- Hak_Saw5000
This doesn't only apply to food
"Revenge."- pushthestartbuttonkarine vanasse revenge GIF by HULUGiphy
Let the flavor develop
"2 totally different flavors depending on warm vs cold from fridge."- nonkowledge
So many to choose from!
A matter of textural preference
"Cheese, ya fools."- eat_dontpray_loveCloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs Eating GIFGiphy
Under a hot greek sun, or during a cold winter's eve.
While there's no better smell than a batch of chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven, those eating them the next day likely aren't missing out either.