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Men Share How Sexism Has Affected Their Lives

Men Share How Sexism Has Affected Their Lives

Sexism against women is being held up to a microscope of popular scrutiny, with many well justified cases being brought to the public eye. People are reexamining preconceived thoughts about how women are treated in their own lives and the media, and justifiably so, however it's important to not forget men can be subject to sexist treatment as well.

Note, the following stories are not speaking in favor of those "meninists" trolls who linger around Twitter a little too much, instead, they hope to shed some well-deserved light on a few more examples of how we take advantage of our supposed gender roles.


Reddit user, u/Jgradders, wanted a peek at the other side when they asked:

Men of reddit, in what ways have you experienced sexism?

Going Too Far In The Other Direction

A teacher told me that she would have given me an A grade for the year if I wasn't male as she only awarded A grades to girls as they had fewer academic advantages. I think she may have had a few issues.

Mangosta007

If that were to get out, she would be fired. At least I hope so.

sabeltant11

I don't think I've ever mentioned it to anyone before. I just accepted it at the time. Mind you, the school had bigger corruption problems going on what with several other teachers including the headmaster running a private business out of the school using the school's funds. That came out a few years after I left. Scandals are fun!

Mangosta007

It Automatically Has To Be Your Fault

My girlfriend broke up with me recently and she was crying in the bathroom. The first words.our of people who I thought were my friends mouths is "What did you do?!"

boringwinter14

Not Strong Enough

I'm the opposite of buff, but my dad gets angry at me when I can't lift this or that. Or when my parents expect me to get a girlfriend while they forbid my older sister to have a boyfriend. Talk about double standards

theChilledZone

Zero Sympathy Down The Line

"You probably did something to deserve it"

A comment I got in the hospital having a deep cut in my face taken care of.

A comment I got when I tried to press charges.

A comment I often get when I tell people I got my scar when my then GF fist punched me with key between her fingers.

yellowtailedkevin

Judgement From The Unseen Force

I am quite a helpful person. Like helping strangers/tourist find their right way, or at least asking if I can help people that look like they could use help.

Sometimes even drunk, passed out people to make sure that they are not actually unconscious and in need of medical attention.

But every time I see kids who might need I don't really know what to do and usually just walk away because I am afraid to been seen as kidnapper or preditor when in fact I just try to help. I don't even stop and watch long to make sure that their parents are near, cause this already might raise eyebrows.

Feeling this societal judgement already just because I am a man without doing actually anything is really uncomfortable.

JackGerman

What You Think Is Probably Correct

I tried to find a job as a babysitter a few years ago when I was a broke student with a lot of spare time, I applied to a lot of job offers from parents looking for someone to take care of their children in my city and never got a single call, even though I have a youth work certificate and several professional experiences with children.

I'm not sure about that, but I think it's mainly because I'm not a woman.

Swimm_

Completely Missed The Mark. Literally.

I feel like most men in the U.S. have had at least one aggressively feminist English teacher. Mine gave me a C on everything and I generally did really well on writing assignments.

One of my buddy's literally wrote, in the middle of his final paper "Ms. _____ is a sh-t teacher who is sexist and isn't even going to read this."

He got a C. She didn't read the paper.

MagnusTheBlack

No Respect For The Wait Staff

I worked as a bartender for a catering company and 90% of drunk women (and a lot of men too) in large events would eventually treat me as a low end prostitute.

"I'll give you $50 bucks to come back home with me."

The more annoying thing is there was polite way to turn 'em down risking not getting paid. You just had to stay there and smile and politely say no everytime they come for a re-fill.

_LongLongMan

Right. Sure. It's For NO Other Reason.

A few years ago I started working at this toy company that's super popular in the Pacific Northwest. I started out at their warehouse as an order puller, and a month later I got promoted to shipping from working hard. There was this one girl there who was always super nice, but she just could not work and talk at the same time and would often goof off and talk with her peers all day.

The first day I started shipping, she told me I got that promotion because I'm a straight white male and I need to be aware of my "straight white male privilege ".

I told my boss about this and she wouldn't do a thing, my coworker did nothing wrong apparently.

MrStinkybutt34

Wow...

My 7th grade teacher said that you can't be sexist towards a man because they have always had power so "you can't be sexist towards them". Not only did most of the female (and some male) classmates believe her but she said the same thing about white people and racism, she was white

goldensauceome

Seeing What They Want To See

My girlfriend (at the time) repeatedly hit me, scratched me, ripped my shirt, and ripped the rear view mirror off my car while I was driving.

I drove her to her mother's while this was happening. When we got there, she refused to get out. Me and her younger sister (who came out after we got there) both had to physically pull her out of the car. She kept trying to get back in. I finally got her out and locked the doors and drove away.

When I got on the highway, 3 cop cars were waiting for me. They charged me with assault, despite the fact that I was visibly battered with red marks, scratches and a ripped shirt, and the inside of my car was trashed. Their justification: her face was red. Yeah her face was red, she was having a mental breakdown and crying non stop because I told her I was leaving her.

700 dollars lost because they towed my car. I was also in the middle of applying for RCMP training at this time, had nearly aced the aptitude test, but couldn't continue because of the pending charge. I also missed out on another job that I knew I was going to get when the criminal record check came back with the (dismissed) assault charge.

TLDR: Girlfriend beat me up, I got charged with assault, lost 700 dollars and missed out on two career opportunities.

LPT: In Canada, if you're charged with something, even if it's dismissed or dropped and you're not convicted, the charge will still show up on a deep criminal background check. After a certain period (I think six months), you can call the court house and tell them you want your record purged to remove these charges for free.

Edit, for clarification on how this is sexist: My girlfriend didn't press charges, the police did. Someone in the car behind us saw 'a struggle' and phoned it in.

Sexism on the police's part.

JEJoll

"All because 'kids need a mom.'"

Not me but my dad had an extremely hard time getting full custody of me and my little sister despite my mom having no place to live, no job, addicted to drugs, and abused us.

All because "kids need a mom."

knightlyparadox

Size Doesn't Matter

Being assaulted and laughed at...

Time to tell my story.

I'm 6'4", 240 pounds and used to work as a bouncer. I tried my best not to be aggressive or anything because I know sometimes alcohol leads people into making stupid decisions. So I'd always approach everyone in a very polite, non threatening way. Usually that worked because it used to de escalate things and all.

One night, this group of girls were starting to create trouble at the club I used to work. When I came to know what was going on and possibly calm things down like I'd ways do, one small intoxicated girl jumped me. She was insane. Screaming, cussing, being loud and racist (I'm Latino, she was white).

I tried to calm her down but since that wasn't working, I told her I was gonna escort her out. I reached for my radio and called for back up (she was with a big group, 7-10 girls).

Out of nowhere, she started to barate me, trying to scratch my eyes (slashing my neck in the process), trying to kick me in the groin.

Other bouncers came and took her off of me. Manager finally showed up. Police was called.

When they arrived and collect statements, I came over to them saying I wanted to press changes due to the fact I was bleeding profusely in the neck and hands, they laughed at me said they "won't waste their time", "nothing will come out of it"

The girls were let go by the police and went their way laughing at me. I went over to my manager, complaining he was suppose to help us or something. His response? "man up, clean myself up and get back to work".

I did clean myself up, patched my injuries and quit on the spot.

beardedalien013

When Gender Takes Priority Over Safety

I have very little access to my kid even though their mother is a drug addict and uses them as a weapon in arguments. I have shown proof of this many times about how unstable she is. But since she is the mother she has 'god given rights' to them. Very sad

NewAccEveryDay420day

Blatantly Putting It On Display

Odd one, I don't think it is considered sexism but, my male principal has made it very clear that he dislikes only the men at my school. So myself, along with the other 4 or 5 male teachers out of about 32 staff members get awful evaluation scores and he bullsh-ts his reasoning why. We think he just wants to pretend to be top dog.

Makes it even sadder when even the female staff say things like "I can do whatever I want since he likes me".

Oude

No One Said Anything

When i was abused publicly in a mall by my girlfriend (now ex) no one did anything. I bet if it was the other way around, people would have thrown themselves on me

Vba12

A Mom That Just Wouldn't Get It

I am a social worker so I do a lot of home visits for the children I work with. I had a single mom that was obsessed with me. It started out as just inappropriate comments which I kind of brushed off but then it started getting extremely sexual in nature like telling me she could f-ck better then my wife, telling me how good she is at giving head etc. I tried to explain to her that I am only in her home for professional reasons and its extremely inappropriate.

Told my boss and he didn't seem to care and told me to "man up and just deal with it" it got worse and she started sending me pictures of her tits and I took that to my boss and told him I no longer wanted that family on my case load due to sexual harrassment. His reply was "stop being a b-tch" I went to HR that day and my boss was let go a week later.

EDIT: I'd also like the add that isn't that uncommon in my field, but it usually never gets this out of control. I work with a lot of single mothers and they see a man come into their home and work and play with their child and they see you as a savior of some sorts, or like the missing link to having a "normal" family. I've gotten a lot of late night drunk calls/texts which I will usually respond with "if your child is not in crisis please do not contact me during these hours" after I communicate that they almost always stop.

Spruce_Fan

People Break Down The Most Ridiculous Majors They've Ever Heard Of

Reddit user GazelleHistorical705 asked: 'What is the most ridiculous college major you’ve ever heard of?'

College classroom
Dom Fou/Unsplash

Many high school graduates face the conundrum of what to major in when they go on to pursue higher education.

Teens who haven't already sparked an interest in a particular field by the time they graduate wind up buying more time waiting for enlightenment by electing "undecided."

But to avoid any stigma of being an idle scholar, some students settle on majors they thought never existed.

"Fun with pasta," anyone?

While such a major might not exist, I wouldn't put it past some academia for coming up with it.

Curious to hear what those unheard-of specialized fields of study are out there, Redditor GazelleHistorical705 asked:

"What is the most ridiculous college major you’ve ever heard of?"

Majors with one word, please.

Sounds Like A Hard Major

"PENIS. My school offered a major in Political Economy of Newly Industrialized Societies, but eventually realized the acronym and changed the name. Pity. I hope some were able to get their degrees with a concentration in PENIS."

– OhMaiMai

Hidden Objective

"Golf."

"It was made so the Vice Chancellor could buy a private golf course for the university, so he could play on it. I believe it had 5 enrollments ever, and one was a joke that didnt show up or pay. It got cancelled the first year, but he got to enjoy his own personal golf course for some years after."

jadelink88

Just Throwing Ideas

"Frisbee. A friends roommate at Amherst was in some kind of 'create your own major' thing and chose frisbee. His family had momey and college was just a formality."

– hightower65

Certain concepts as a major were hard to grasp.

Seed Of Despotism

"IIRC, like 20 years ago some college in Indiana offered a major in World Domination."

– Rev_Christopheles

"You can only get a job as a henchman with a BS."

"You need a full PhD to be an evil mastermind."

– JimBean823

A Vague Focus

"PhD in general studies."

– dravik

"Tf do you even write your dissertation about."

– Fragile_Line

"Everything."

– ProsciuttoPizza

"Generally."

– cropguru357

Let's Take It Outside

"An old friend has a Bachelor's degree in Outdoor Activities. He was never able to explain exactly what that meant, though."

– EnlargedBit371

"A guy I know majored in Recreation."

– kmsc87

"When I was there, my college had one of the top Parks Recreation and Tourism Management (PRTM) programs in the country."

"It had the nickname 'Party Right Through May.'”

"It was extremely popular with student athletes, especially football players."

"There’s always a demand for graduates too. It seems like one of those fields where you shouldn’t need a college degree to do the work, but you need one to get in the door."

– JimBeam823

Going At Your Own Pace

"When I was in uni my friend dated a guy who was majoring in leisure studies. I used to joke that leisure studies is a 4 year program, but if you’re good enough at it you can do it in 6."

– Mtldoggogogo

Things went up a notch.

Arghhh Ya Kiddin' Me?

"At MIT you can be certified in being a pirate if you complete the courses of pistol, archery, sailing, and fencing."

– yhdreytaweatrst

"It’s not a major, it’s a certificate. But if I ever get my own office it’s going in a very nice diploma frame and I’m gonna see who notices."

– PoorCorrelation

Veritable Hodgepodge

"My university had an Interdisciplinary Studies department that served mainly to get super duper seniors graduated. They would cobble together the random credits people got because they changed majors every semester into a 'degree.' You get some wild majors like a BA in Culinary Traditions and Music in the Former British Empire."

– pinelands1901

Sapphic Education

"My college briefly had a major in Nordic Lesbianism."

– WhizzleTeabags

"I've read many of the responses on here where most of them weren't ridiculous imo but you gave the best one!"

– 90DayTroll

"HUH."

– OP

Make It Up

"At a graduation at the University of Redlands. They have a degree whereby you basically take the classes you want and call it what you want."

"The degree conferred was, I kid you not: 'Still trying to figure out who I am.'”

– dmur726

Clearly there's a major for all occasions.

But at the end of the day, does it really matter as long as you have a BA in something to show you were academically tenacious?

Now go out there and carve out your own path, young scholars!

Just make sure you can pay off those student loans.

Maybe there should be a major on how to avoid debt.

human robot illustration

Possessed Photography on Unsplash

Artificial intelligence (AI) is defined as:

"the theory and development of computer systems able to perform tasks that normally require human intelligence, such as visual perception, speech recognition, decision-making and translation between languages."

AI is broken down into four types—from most basic to most advanced:

  1. Reactive machines
  2. Limited memory
  3. Theory of mind
  4. Self-awareness

The first two—reactive machines and limited memory—currently exist.

Reactive machines AI have no memory—it responds directly to current information. An example is a recommendation based on your streaming activity.

Limited memory looks into the past and monitors specific objects or situations over time, and adds the information to adapt responses. Self-driving cars are a good example of limited memory AI.

The other types—theory of mind and self-awareness—don't exist yet.

Theory of mind AI would be able to understand intentions and predict behavior while adjusting its own responses, simulating human interpersonal relationships.

The final step in AI is self-awareness. These would be systems that have a sense of self, a conscious understanding of their existence.

As AI advances, some human work functions will be done cheaper or more efficiently by AI.

Keep reading...Show less
man and woman holding hands

Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

According to the General Social Survey, 20% of married men and 13% of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse.

In the United States, 17% of all divorces cited adultery on the part of either or both parties.

But 70% of married women and 54% of married men reported they didn't know of their spouses’ extramarital affair until their spouse confessed.

And how did the other 30%-46% figure it out?

Keep reading...Show less

I was very fortunate that my parents were able to pay all expensive not only through adolescence but even through college. However, they made it very clear that once I graduated, I was on my own.

I made every effort to make sure I could afford to live once I graduated. I made copies of all the recipes my parents got when they bought stuff for me, and started saving my own receipts, something I didn't do through high school. I calculated monthly expenses and created a budget for the future.

When I graduated, I had accounted for all the big expenses: take-out food, the expensive skin care essentials I needed to keep my acne at bay, and utilities (heat, AC, electricity).

What I didn't realize was that small expenses are not so small. Microwavable meals went up by $2. Gas, which was pretty steady while I was in college, seemed to shoot up daily. And things that don't seem expensive at first glance, such as toilet paper, become big expenses as they add up.

I'm not the only one who had these realizations. Redditors have too, and are eager to share what items they didn't realize were expensive until they became an adult.

It all started when Redditor ForeignReviews asked:

"What item did you not realize was expensive until you became an adult?"

Yummy, Yummy

"Food is both more expensive and goes bad quicker when you're an adult."

– BriSnyScienceGuy

"I know right! I honestly love grocery shopping, so when I started driving I would go grocery shopping when I had the car and so nowadays I do maybe half of the grocery shopping. But, it's just so expensive. I often look for deals and will buy generic/store brand on most items but, still."

"My biggest tip for "goes bad quicker" is to always get from the back, because usually that's where the longer lasting stuff goes and when it's stacked, get from the bottom. When it's stuff with longer shelf life like cereal and canned stuff, I don't usually bother. But I mostly do that with bread and dairy products. My mom taught me that when I was little."

– ariana61104

"Yes! Having to feed yourself and your household is getting too expensive and so tedious. I really admire my mom for making dinner every night when I was growing up. Thankfully I don't have kids so me & my husband are okay with just eating snacks sometimes."

– WildMoonWitch

So Sweet

"My parents split up when I was a kid in the 90s, and I remember going to my dads apartment in another city, and him cooking us steak on the grill. I always loved that."

"Once I moved out I was like "wait steak is how much? Why the hell did Dad keep feeding us this?""

"Then I realised he was eating poverty meals all week to treat his kids on the weekend."

"For his 60th birthday us kids pooled our money and took him to arguably the best fine dining restaurant in my province for the full tasting menu. Seeing him light up at trying things like caviar and truffles for the first time made me realize how much he has sacrificed for us."

"So yeah, steak is expensive."

– KFBass

"You guys are awesome; what a nice story. He raised y'all right."

– Augustus58

Where Do I Sit?

"Gotta be furniture."

– harrisrichard

"When I bought my house I only had a bed in the master bedroom and all my friends kept saying “you make good money just buy furniture, you could have it furnished in a month.” Then they themselves bought houses and now understand why it took me a year to furnish my house."

– Stetikhasnotalent

They Don't Need To Be That Nice!

"Rugs. Why did no one tel me a ‘nice’ rug was $18,000."

– BenSadfleck

"But it really ties the room together."

– alittlec4

"Dude, you could fly to Morocco and get a hand made wool rug for that much. What the heck are you buying?"

– mofukkinbreadcrumbz

"My dog isn’t going to want to butt scoot on anything cheaper than 10k."

– iamaliberalpausenot

Car Accessories

"New tires. Most unexciting $1,000 purchases I have ever made."

– PRCraig

"Also why the hell are oil changes so expensive now!?"

– johnstonb

"Bro fr I swear they were just $20 just a second ago now it’s like $60?? I asked my dad to teach me how to do it myself as a teen and he said it was so cheap that I might as well pay someone else. That didn’t last."

– greeneggiwegs

Walk It Off

"A good pair of shoes will set you back a bit, especially if you need more specialized ones for whatever reason."

– sedition-

Part Of The Family

"Pets."

– TeacherLady3

"They have gotten a lot more expensive due to expected care changing dramatically, and how we feel about them."

"The idea that you would put a pet down because a vet treatment costs too much is horrible now, but was pretty common in the past. Outdoor cats were the norm so they pretty much fed themselves and you had far fewer litter changes - litter was just clay, and you tossed the whole thing."

"Dogs ate table scraps and whatever they hunted down, or cheap as dog feed made of whatever ended up on the slaughter house floor (bones and all)."

"While purebreds were probably still super expensive, most people had a mutt or tabby, that the found/were given, instead of buying."

– RandomChance

"All true. But I waited until I was in my 50's and had raised my kids until I could afford a pet. Like kids, I wasn't going to be a pet owner until I could provide the care they deserve."

– TeacherLady3

The Cost Of People

"Kids."

"I'm amazed how my parents could afford me."

– only_stupid_answers

"My parents had 5 of us. It amazes me to this day, that my fathers paultry salary at the time had to support it all. How the f**k could anyone do that today?"

– The_REAL_McWeasel

Vroom, Vroom

"Cars, all grown-ups had them, maybe even multiple. I still think its insane that some cars are more expensive than a 2 bedroom apartment."

Tommer_nl

"I remember people restoring cars all the time when I was growing up. I would love to do it but even a rough condition rolling rust is super expensive now for even common things people aren’t super after."

Pup5432

"Yeah what the hell!? I feel like everyone's dad (mine included) had a project car that they were tinkering with."

"All of my 'tinkering' is to keep my single, daily driver running!"

disisathrowaway

Shiny Teeth And Me

"My teeth."

– Bumfuzzled_Hobgoblin

"Teeth are luxury bones, don’t ya know? Why on earth would regular health insurance cover them? Hahaha. The fact that vision and dental are separate from the rest of your body is absurd."

– Blackfoxx907

I See You!

"Glasses. I have awful eyesight and an astigmatism and got quite a shock when I had to pay for my own prescription glasses for the first time."

– Heavy_Mycologist_104

Time Flies

"Free time."

"As a kid I had loads of it and gave it away. now I can't afford even a minute !!"

– TokenFeed

"I took a toll road home today for an extra hour of free time and it was the best money I ever spent."

– squidkiosk

What I wouldn't give -- or pay -- for some extra free time!