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Men Share How Sexism Has Affected Their Lives

Men Share How Sexism Has Affected Their Lives

Sexism against women is being held up to a microscope of popular scrutiny, with many well justified cases being brought to the public eye. People are reexamining preconceived thoughts about how women are treated in their own lives and the media, and justifiably so, however it's important to not forget men can be subject to sexist treatment as well.

Note, the following stories are not speaking in favor of those "meninists" trolls who linger around Twitter a little too much, instead, they hope to shed some well-deserved light on a few more examples of how we take advantage of our supposed gender roles.


Reddit user, u/Jgradders, wanted a peek at the other side when they asked:

Men of reddit, in what ways have you experienced sexism?

Going Too Far In The Other Direction

A teacher told me that she would have given me an A grade for the year if I wasn't male as she only awarded A grades to girls as they had fewer academic advantages. I think she may have had a few issues.

Mangosta007

If that were to get out, she would be fired. At least I hope so.

sabeltant11

I don't think I've ever mentioned it to anyone before. I just accepted it at the time. Mind you, the school had bigger corruption problems going on what with several other teachers including the headmaster running a private business out of the school using the school's funds. That came out a few years after I left. Scandals are fun!

Mangosta007

It Automatically Has To Be Your Fault

My girlfriend broke up with me recently and she was crying in the bathroom. The first words.our of people who I thought were my friends mouths is "What did you do?!"

boringwinter14

Not Strong Enough

I'm the opposite of buff, but my dad gets angry at me when I can't lift this or that. Or when my parents expect me to get a girlfriend while they forbid my older sister to have a boyfriend. Talk about double standards

theChilledZone

Zero Sympathy Down The Line

"You probably did something to deserve it"

A comment I got in the hospital having a deep cut in my face taken care of.

A comment I got when I tried to press charges.

A comment I often get when I tell people I got my scar when my then GF fist punched me with key between her fingers.

yellowtailedkevin

Judgement From The Unseen Force

I am quite a helpful person. Like helping strangers/tourist find their right way, or at least asking if I can help people that look like they could use help.

Sometimes even drunk, passed out people to make sure that they are not actually unconscious and in need of medical attention.

But every time I see kids who might need I don't really know what to do and usually just walk away because I am afraid to been seen as kidnapper or preditor when in fact I just try to help. I don't even stop and watch long to make sure that their parents are near, cause this already might raise eyebrows.

Feeling this societal judgement already just because I am a man without doing actually anything is really uncomfortable.

JackGerman

What You Think Is Probably Correct

I tried to find a job as a babysitter a few years ago when I was a broke student with a lot of spare time, I applied to a lot of job offers from parents looking for someone to take care of their children in my city and never got a single call, even though I have a youth work certificate and several professional experiences with children.

I'm not sure about that, but I think it's mainly because I'm not a woman.

Swimm_

Completely Missed The Mark. Literally.

I feel like most men in the U.S. have had at least one aggressively feminist English teacher. Mine gave me a C on everything and I generally did really well on writing assignments.

One of my buddy's literally wrote, in the middle of his final paper "Ms. _____ is a sh-t teacher who is sexist and isn't even going to read this."

He got a C. She didn't read the paper.

MagnusTheBlack

No Respect For The Wait Staff

I worked as a bartender for a catering company and 90% of drunk women (and a lot of men too) in large events would eventually treat me as a low end prostitute.

"I'll give you $50 bucks to come back home with me."

The more annoying thing is there was polite way to turn 'em down risking not getting paid. You just had to stay there and smile and politely say no everytime they come for a re-fill.

_LongLongMan

Right. Sure. It's For NO Other Reason.

A few years ago I started working at this toy company that's super popular in the Pacific Northwest. I started out at their warehouse as an order puller, and a month later I got promoted to shipping from working hard. There was this one girl there who was always super nice, but she just could not work and talk at the same time and would often goof off and talk with her peers all day.

The first day I started shipping, she told me I got that promotion because I'm a straight white male and I need to be aware of my "straight white male privilege ".

I told my boss about this and she wouldn't do a thing, my coworker did nothing wrong apparently.

MrStinkybutt34

Wow...

My 7th grade teacher said that you can't be sexist towards a man because they have always had power so "you can't be sexist towards them". Not only did most of the female (and some male) classmates believe her but she said the same thing about white people and racism, she was white

goldensauceome

Seeing What They Want To See

My girlfriend (at the time) repeatedly hit me, scratched me, ripped my shirt, and ripped the rear view mirror off my car while I was driving.

I drove her to her mother's while this was happening. When we got there, she refused to get out. Me and her younger sister (who came out after we got there) both had to physically pull her out of the car. She kept trying to get back in. I finally got her out and locked the doors and drove away.

When I got on the highway, 3 cop cars were waiting for me. They charged me with assault, despite the fact that I was visibly battered with red marks, scratches and a ripped shirt, and the inside of my car was trashed. Their justification: her face was red. Yeah her face was red, she was having a mental breakdown and crying non stop because I told her I was leaving her.

700 dollars lost because they towed my car. I was also in the middle of applying for RCMP training at this time, had nearly aced the aptitude test, but couldn't continue because of the pending charge. I also missed out on another job that I knew I was going to get when the criminal record check came back with the (dismissed) assault charge.

TLDR: Girlfriend beat me up, I got charged with assault, lost 700 dollars and missed out on two career opportunities.

LPT: In Canada, if you're charged with something, even if it's dismissed or dropped and you're not convicted, the charge will still show up on a deep criminal background check. After a certain period (I think six months), you can call the court house and tell them you want your record purged to remove these charges for free.

Edit, for clarification on how this is sexist: My girlfriend didn't press charges, the police did. Someone in the car behind us saw 'a struggle' and phoned it in.

Sexism on the police's part.

JEJoll

"All because 'kids need a mom.'"

Not me but my dad had an extremely hard time getting full custody of me and my little sister despite my mom having no place to live, no job, addicted to drugs, and abused us.

All because "kids need a mom."

knightlyparadox

Size Doesn't Matter

Being assaulted and laughed at...

Time to tell my story.

I'm 6'4", 240 pounds and used to work as a bouncer. I tried my best not to be aggressive or anything because I know sometimes alcohol leads people into making stupid decisions. So I'd always approach everyone in a very polite, non threatening way. Usually that worked because it used to de escalate things and all.

One night, this group of girls were starting to create trouble at the club I used to work. When I came to know what was going on and possibly calm things down like I'd ways do, one small intoxicated girl jumped me. She was insane. Screaming, cussing, being loud and racist (I'm Latino, she was white).

I tried to calm her down but since that wasn't working, I told her I was gonna escort her out. I reached for my radio and called for back up (she was with a big group, 7-10 girls).

Out of nowhere, she started to barate me, trying to scratch my eyes (slashing my neck in the process), trying to kick me in the groin.

Other bouncers came and took her off of me. Manager finally showed up. Police was called.

When they arrived and collect statements, I came over to them saying I wanted to press changes due to the fact I was bleeding profusely in the neck and hands, they laughed at me said they "won't waste their time", "nothing will come out of it"

The girls were let go by the police and went their way laughing at me. I went over to my manager, complaining he was suppose to help us or something. His response? "man up, clean myself up and get back to work".

I did clean myself up, patched my injuries and quit on the spot.

beardedalien013

When Gender Takes Priority Over Safety

I have very little access to my kid even though their mother is a drug addict and uses them as a weapon in arguments. I have shown proof of this many times about how unstable she is. But since she is the mother she has 'god given rights' to them. Very sad

NewAccEveryDay420day

Blatantly Putting It On Display

Odd one, I don't think it is considered sexism but, my male principal has made it very clear that he dislikes only the men at my school. So myself, along with the other 4 or 5 male teachers out of about 32 staff members get awful evaluation scores and he bullsh-ts his reasoning why. We think he just wants to pretend to be top dog.

Makes it even sadder when even the female staff say things like "I can do whatever I want since he likes me".

Oude

No One Said Anything

When i was abused publicly in a mall by my girlfriend (now ex) no one did anything. I bet if it was the other way around, people would have thrown themselves on me

Vba12

A Mom That Just Wouldn't Get It

I am a social worker so I do a lot of home visits for the children I work with. I had a single mom that was obsessed with me. It started out as just inappropriate comments which I kind of brushed off but then it started getting extremely sexual in nature like telling me she could f-ck better then my wife, telling me how good she is at giving head etc. I tried to explain to her that I am only in her home for professional reasons and its extremely inappropriate.

Told my boss and he didn't seem to care and told me to "man up and just deal with it" it got worse and she started sending me pictures of her tits and I took that to my boss and told him I no longer wanted that family on my case load due to sexual harrassment. His reply was "stop being a b-tch" I went to HR that day and my boss was let go a week later.

EDIT: I'd also like the add that isn't that uncommon in my field, but it usually never gets this out of control. I work with a lot of single mothers and they see a man come into their home and work and play with their child and they see you as a savior of some sorts, or like the missing link to having a "normal" family. I've gotten a lot of late night drunk calls/texts which I will usually respond with "if your child is not in crisis please do not contact me during these hours" after I communicate that they almost always stop.

Spruce_Fan

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.