Sexism against women is being held up to a microscope of popular scrutiny, with many well justified cases being brought to the public eye. People are reexamining preconceived thoughts about how women are treated in their own lives and the media, and justifiably so, however it's important to not forget men can be subject to sexist treatment as well.
Note, the following stories are not speaking in favor of those "meninists" trolls who linger around Twitter a little too much, instead, they hope to shed some well-deserved light on a few more examples of how we take advantage of our supposed gender roles.
Reddit user, u/Jgradders, wanted a peek at the other side when they asked:
Men of reddit, in what ways have you experienced sexism?
Going Too Far In The Other Direction
A teacher told me that she would have given me an A grade for the year if I wasn't male as she only awarded A grades to girls as they had fewer academic advantages. I think she may have had a few issues.
If that were to get out, she would be fired. At least I hope so.
I don't think I've ever mentioned it to anyone before. I just accepted it at the time. Mind you, the school had bigger corruption problems going on what with several other teachers including the headmaster running a private business out of the school using the school's funds. That came out a few years after I left. Scandals are fun!
It Automatically Has To Be Your Fault
My girlfriend broke up with me recently and she was crying in the bathroom. The first words.our of people who I thought were my friends mouths is "What did you do?!"
Not Strong Enough
I'm the opposite of buff, but my dad gets angry at me when I can't lift this or that. Or when my parents expect me to get a girlfriend while they forbid my older sister to have a boyfriend. Talk about double standards
Zero Sympathy Down The Line
"You probably did something to deserve it"
A comment I got in the hospital having a deep cut in my face taken care of.
A comment I got when I tried to press charges.
A comment I often get when I tell people I got my scar when my then GF fist punched me with key between her fingers.
Judgement From The Unseen Force
I am quite a helpful person. Like helping strangers/tourist find their right way, or at least asking if I can help people that look like they could use help.
Sometimes even drunk, passed out people to make sure that they are not actually unconscious and in need of medical attention.
But every time I see kids who might need I don't really know what to do and usually just walk away because I am afraid to been seen as kidnapper or preditor when in fact I just try to help. I don't even stop and watch long to make sure that their parents are near, cause this already might raise eyebrows.
Feeling this societal judgement already just because I am a man without doing actually anything is really uncomfortable.
What You Think Is Probably Correct
I tried to find a job as a babysitter a few years ago when I was a broke student with a lot of spare time, I applied to a lot of job offers from parents looking for someone to take care of their children in my city and never got a single call, even though I have a youth work certificate and several professional experiences with children.
I'm not sure about that, but I think it's mainly because I'm not a woman.
Completely Missed The Mark. Literally.
I feel like most men in the U.S. have had at least one aggressively feminist English teacher. Mine gave me a C on everything and I generally did really well on writing assignments.
One of my buddy's literally wrote, in the middle of his final paper "Ms. _____ is a sh-t teacher who is sexist and isn't even going to read this."
He got a C. She didn't read the paper.
No Respect For The Wait Staff
I worked as a bartender for a catering company and 90% of drunk women (and a lot of men too) in large events would eventually treat me as a low end prostitute.
"I'll give you $50 bucks to come back home with me."
The more annoying thing is there was polite way to turn 'em down risking not getting paid. You just had to stay there and smile and politely say no everytime they come for a re-fill.
Right. Sure. It's For NO Other Reason.
A few years ago I started working at this toy company that's super popular in the Pacific Northwest. I started out at their warehouse as an order puller, and a month later I got promoted to shipping from working hard. There was this one girl there who was always super nice, but she just could not work and talk at the same time and would often goof off and talk with her peers all day.
The first day I started shipping, she told me I got that promotion because I'm a straight white male and I need to be aware of my "straight white male privilege ".
I told my boss about this and she wouldn't do a thing, my coworker did nothing wrong apparently.
Wow...
My 7th grade teacher said that you can't be sexist towards a man because they have always had power so "you can't be sexist towards them". Not only did most of the female (and some male) classmates believe her but she said the same thing about white people and racism, she was white
Seeing What They Want To See
My girlfriend (at the time) repeatedly hit me, scratched me, ripped my shirt, and ripped the rear view mirror off my car while I was driving.
I drove her to her mother's while this was happening. When we got there, she refused to get out. Me and her younger sister (who came out after we got there) both had to physically pull her out of the car. She kept trying to get back in. I finally got her out and locked the doors and drove away.
When I got on the highway, 3 cop cars were waiting for me. They charged me with assault, despite the fact that I was visibly battered with red marks, scratches and a ripped shirt, and the inside of my car was trashed. Their justification: her face was red. Yeah her face was red, she was having a mental breakdown and crying non stop because I told her I was leaving her.
700 dollars lost because they towed my car. I was also in the middle of applying for RCMP training at this time, had nearly aced the aptitude test, but couldn't continue because of the pending charge. I also missed out on another job that I knew I was going to get when the criminal record check came back with the (dismissed) assault charge.
TLDR: Girlfriend beat me up, I got charged with assault, lost 700 dollars and missed out on two career opportunities.
LPT: In Canada, if you're charged with something, even if it's dismissed or dropped and you're not convicted, the charge will still show up on a deep criminal background check. After a certain period (I think six months), you can call the court house and tell them you want your record purged to remove these charges for free.
Edit, for clarification on how this is sexist: My girlfriend didn't press charges, the police did. Someone in the car behind us saw 'a struggle' and phoned it in.
Sexism on the police's part.
"All because 'kids need a mom.'"
Not me but my dad had an extremely hard time getting full custody of me and my little sister despite my mom having no place to live, no job, addicted to drugs, and abused us.
All because "kids need a mom."
Size Doesn't Matter
Being assaulted and laughed at...
Time to tell my story.
I'm 6'4", 240 pounds and used to work as a bouncer. I tried my best not to be aggressive or anything because I know sometimes alcohol leads people into making stupid decisions. So I'd always approach everyone in a very polite, non threatening way. Usually that worked because it used to de escalate things and all.
One night, this group of girls were starting to create trouble at the club I used to work. When I came to know what was going on and possibly calm things down like I'd ways do, one small intoxicated girl jumped me. She was insane. Screaming, cussing, being loud and racist (I'm Latino, she was white).
I tried to calm her down but since that wasn't working, I told her I was gonna escort her out. I reached for my radio and called for back up (she was with a big group, 7-10 girls).
Out of nowhere, she started to barate me, trying to scratch my eyes (slashing my neck in the process), trying to kick me in the groin.
Other bouncers came and took her off of me. Manager finally showed up. Police was called.
When they arrived and collect statements, I came over to them saying I wanted to press changes due to the fact I was bleeding profusely in the neck and hands, they laughed at me said they "won't waste their time", "nothing will come out of it"
The girls were let go by the police and went their way laughing at me. I went over to my manager, complaining he was suppose to help us or something. His response? "man up, clean myself up and get back to work".
I did clean myself up, patched my injuries and quit on the spot.
When Gender Takes Priority Over Safety
I have very little access to my kid even though their mother is a drug addict and uses them as a weapon in arguments. I have shown proof of this many times about how unstable she is. But since she is the mother she has 'god given rights' to them. Very sad
Blatantly Putting It On Display
Odd one, I don't think it is considered sexism but, my male principal has made it very clear that he dislikes only the men at my school. So myself, along with the other 4 or 5 male teachers out of about 32 staff members get awful evaluation scores and he bullsh-ts his reasoning why. We think he just wants to pretend to be top dog.
Makes it even sadder when even the female staff say things like "I can do whatever I want since he likes me".
No One Said Anything
When i was abused publicly in a mall by my girlfriend (now ex) no one did anything. I bet if it was the other way around, people would have thrown themselves on me
A Mom That Just Wouldn't Get It
I am a social worker so I do a lot of home visits for the children I work with. I had a single mom that was obsessed with me. It started out as just inappropriate comments which I kind of brushed off but then it started getting extremely sexual in nature like telling me she could f-ck better then my wife, telling me how good she is at giving head etc. I tried to explain to her that I am only in her home for professional reasons and its extremely inappropriate.
Told my boss and he didn't seem to care and told me to "man up and just deal with it" it got worse and she started sending me pictures of her tits and I took that to my boss and told him I no longer wanted that family on my case load due to sexual harrassment. His reply was "stop being a b-tch" I went to HR that day and my boss was let go a week later.
EDIT: I'd also like the add that isn't that uncommon in my field, but it usually never gets this out of control. I work with a lot of single mothers and they see a man come into their home and work and play with their child and they see you as a savior of some sorts, or like the missing link to having a "normal" family. I've gotten a lot of late night drunk calls/texts which I will usually respond with "if your child is not in crisis please do not contact me during these hours" after I communicate that they almost always stop.