Men face sexual harassment on the regular as well as women. We often tend to neglect the perils men face, due to the fact that most of the time men have been the guilty party in these situations, but that doesn't negate the times when they too fall victim to a harasser. We all, as an entire race, need to learn how to do better in these scenarios.
Redditor u/chutiyamadarchod wanted the men out there to speak up about the trials they face by asking... Men, what kind of low grade sexual harassment do you face on a daily basis?Men harassing men and women harassing men is a real issue. It's not okay to ask men about their underwear that day or the size of... you know... and vice versa.
Hands off the Kilt
Sam Heughan Starz GIF by Men in Kilts: A Roadtrip with Sam and GrahamGiphyWorked in bars and would constantly be groped by older women who thought it was funny.
Also, as a Scottish piper, kilt-lifting is a thing and honestly it needs to stop, grow up.
The Bulge
My "bulge" was a topic of open discussion between some of the women in the office at a previous job. The kicker is that one of the women was our HR and Sexual Assault/Harassment Reporter.
In my experience those middle aged women at the offices can be DOGS. The most inappropriate crap I've seen, heard, or experienced comes from those weird 50 year old "wine mommy" types. It's gross.
Beach Days
Not really low grade but when I used to work as a lifeguard on the beach there was lots of non-consensual touching. The two that really stick out are the middle aged woman who walked up to me like she had a question about my penis through my trunks because she "wanted to know how big it was" and the girl who backed me into my stand and shoved a skittle into my mouth with her tongue.
True
A female coworker I tell her if she was male, she would have been fired multiple times for her behavior. She just laughs and says "ya probably".
That's terrible. Sometimes I think people legitimately don't realise their behaviour is unacceptable, but the fact that she's been given the opportunity to apologise and just admitted her behaviour was wrong and not take it seriously is terrible.
Poor Unfortunate Soul
The Little Mermaid Ursula GIFGiphyMy 55 year old coworker somewhat resembles Ursula from the little mermaid. That hasn't stopped her from asking me if I think she's pretty, asking me to take her home, and telling me she "sprays like a watering can" (yes, really...)
Edit: I should add that I'm 21, which I think makes it a LOT weirder.
That was all that a bit much. Show of hands... who found any of that appropriate? To be clear... nobody should be showing a hand. Men should also be able to wear what they want without issue. Let's see who else is having problems understanding boundaries.
While Shirtless
Not daily, but as a Cosplayer who does shirtless characters (Ace, Grimmjow, Bahn) I get groped a lot... chest and arms mostly, also my butt gets slapped/squeezed and crotch grabs are often enough to mention too.
Hell even when I'm armored they find a way to "get to me"
Inclusive Issues
I have been referred to HR for my voice being naturally too low. I was told I need to try and do more to be inclusive at the chat with HR about it.
"I feel like I'm being singled out in the workplace." These are magic words to HR. It's just the nice way of saying "you're about to be sued for running a hostile work environment."
Where's Linda?
My first job out of college. It was a home health company that was 97% women. I had to cover for the receptionist during her lunch break and would have to deal with nurses calling in all the time. I would get comments as soon as I answered the phone "they have a man answering the phone now" or "this is home health right?!? Where's Linda?"
Also had several complaints too. I had my manager ask me to not use such a low and intimidating voice and try and sound more happy. This was an HR position and I was given the equivalent of perk up buttercup.
Stalker
wo glenn close GIFGiphyOne day I got a text message from someone I didn't know, asking me to meet for dinner.
I had gone to a new hair cut place a few days earlier. One of the hair dressers (not the one who cut my hair) had seen me and decided it made sense to look up my phone number from the client records and ask me out. I had no idea who this was, it was so weird. I got several more messages from her before she stopped messaging me. Never went back to that hair place.
Jiggle
I recently became a father and was working on a hit tv series. A female producer who is best friends with the executive in charge thought it would be funny to grab my stomach and say "working on your dad bod already?" My daughter at that point was 1 week old. If I grabbed a woman's stomach and said she was fat or pregnant I would have been fired. Well, I complained to make a point. She recently was promoted and I wasn't invited back after 5 seasons.
The Rubs
I was walking down town with a friend when two drunk girls came out of a bar, and one of them just walked up to me and shoved her hands up my shirt and started rubbing my chest.
She was yelling to her friend 'This is what a real man feels like!'.
My friend was laughing his butt off, and her friend was explaining this was 'breakup therapy', because she'd been dumped and she was in the process of accepting there are better men out there.
I laughed it off and took it as a compliment, but imagining the gender roles reversed always stuck with me.
Gross
My family owns a restaurant and I would help out doing the dishes and operating front of house. My mum mainly hired female waitresses for some reason and I overheard things like "he's cute I wonder what it's like to ride Asian guys" and one time, one of the girls finished their shift and I was brushing the floor near entrance, she came up to me and grabbed my "area" with a lip bite. I was really uncomfortable as I had a girlfriend at the time.
I stalked them on social media for a bit and I found out they were really into kpop and one of them had a history of dating Asian guys.
They eventually quit as they had A levels to prepare for (equivalent to AP) and because I live in a small town, I bump into them a lot meaning they stare whenever I walk past them.
Ok?
Confused What Is It GIF by Nebraska Humane SocietyGiphyGot my junk grabbed and pinched once when I was in a public transport by an older, homeless looking women. Everyone saw what happened and didn't do nothing. I was in shocked and didn't know what to do so I just pretended nothing happened.
SUPER upset...
A woman who was celebrating her 21st birthday did the same to me at the bar. I left the bar to go home and she was outside crying, obviously sloppy drunk. She had been dancing with a bunch of dudes which made her insecure boyfriend SUPER upset. I had no idea what the situation was, so I walked up and asked if if they needed anything. She looked straight up at me and grabbed my area. Hard. I backed away, obviously shocked, and she tried it again.
Then the boyfriend started screaming "DO YOU WANT ME TO KICK HISS A**?! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT???" and she sobbed even harder. I was so confused by everything, I threw my hands up, said "Good luck with that," and bounced. There were people all around but no one seemed pissed when she grabbed me. Most were laughing.
Call a Bouncer
Getting physically and verbally assaulted by women in nightclubs and then being asked to leave because of it. Even with multiple people trying to tell bouncers what was actually happening they'll always just pick you to throw out.
That's unfortunately an economics thing more than anything else. Women in a club attract men, men who buy drinks and throw cash around thinking they'll get laid. A club full of men does not attract women tossing around cash.
Animals
My MIL assumes that men have this complete inability to control themselves and it is 100% up to women to not pursue attached men. I was not aware of this until there was a debate going on about such things at a family function when she ask me, the only non old male at the event, to confirm her belief. The implication that men are practically wild animals and unable to control themselves is pretty insulting.
Scooter Lady
I was in the store and an old woman on a mobility scooter wanted to pass me so i stepped to the side against the shelf. Instead of using all the free space on the other side she starts turning closer to me as she passes so my area rubs all across her shoulder, she did a weird moaning sound at the same time.
I posted about this on Facebook at the time and almost everyone thought it was hilarious.
Tickles
I was also going to mention the man boob comment.
But used to be all the time drunk women or men would run their fingers through my beard and have some sly comment like, "I wonder if this tickles".
If any of this is unclear please continue reading. Maybe it'll shed further light. And learn the difference between a compliment and harassment. We need to put ourselves in each other's shoes. And act accordingly...
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Redditor PadWanKenobi was curious to hear what people felt were the tell tale signs they were in the company of a possible genius, leading them to ask:
"What’s a sign of extremely high intelligence?"
Instant adapability
"Ability to intuitively and quickly understand complex systems and how lots of parts relate in a coherent whole."
"Like I work with some people who just keep tons of concepts in their head and easily integrate new information into their understanding of those concepts."
"They immediately know what questions they should be asking to better understand."
"And these are things they're currently working on, not like things they spent time studying in school over years."
"They just have a very strong ability to synthesize new information into their understanding."
"I sit in meetings distracted and confused having forgotten what we talked about in the previous meetings, and these folks just consistently have a solid handle on everything."- Ok-Control-787
Innate Problem Solvers
"They know when not to solve a problem."
"This took me a while to understand but the smartest people I know do this."
"It could be a really simple thing like ignoring emails from people asking for help."
"The supervisor or boss might have a quick and easy solution for the situation but instead of just handing it to the person that asked they let them figure it out on their own."
"They know who they can do this with and when to do it."
"If they did that with all of their underlings it would just create a mess."
"Another example that I can think of is planned chaos."
"Some people can predict exactly where things will go wrong and they could fix it before it creates a problem."
"They don't because nobody ever notices what's going on in the background when things are working perfectly."
"Once things fails then everybody notices and if you are the one person that fixed it you become the hero."
"They can also use then chaos to reach a goal they couldn't get before if things were working correctly."
"There's many examples of this in every day life that I didn't see before until I realized what was happening."- atapes
GiphyYou know what they say about people with small hands
"If your hand is smaller than your face."- FallofTheKnight
The all knowing glow.
"When someone asks you a question and you push your glasses up while light comes out of it and covers your eyes for some reason."- JonEregor
Those giveaway behavioral quirks
"Wearing glasses and saying things like 'ah yes', and 'I see' while you pensively rub your chin."- iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
Thinking Reaction GIF by ABC TV + IVIEWGiphyEncouraging others
"When they explain something they make the people around them feel smarter, not dumber."- redkat85
Being one step ahead.
"The capacity to understand complex things, see patterns where regular people don't."- Ostepop234
"They have this tendency to make you go 'Ohhh, why didn't I think of that?' when listening to them talk."- did_it_forthelulz
Why Didnt I Think Of That Cillian Murphy GIFGiphyAn endless love of learning
"A passion for knowledge and expanding understanding of complex concepts."
"The plumber can be just as insightful as the scholar."- KatatoniK94
Of course, one shouldn't always be fooled by what they see.
As many people are masters at appearing much smarter than they are.
In fact, one important sign of super intelligence is being able to separate those who appear smart, from those who actually are.
