Men have feelings too. Men have #Metoo moments as well. And often, those moments are ignored. And that may be controversial to say but it has to be said. Men deal with sexism on the daily and it matters.
Redditor u/Owenn04 wanted men to speak up and help us understand.... Men of Reddit. What is the most "this is sexist" moment you have experienced?
Just being a Dad!
GiphyWalking with my daughter through the neighborhood while she rides her bike, rides ahead of me, etc.
Some crazy woman runs out into the street, and demands that I "STOP following that child!"
Kinda my job, dumba**! Not yours! Its_In_Belgium
Poopie Time.
Taking my kid to the bathroom at a restaurant to change his diaper, only to find that there is only a changing table in the women's bathroom. ddk317
Sorry we're Sexist!
For my first job I worked at a women's clothing store. Only male member of staff in the entire shop. Saw a lady deciding between two dresses, so I came over and politely asked if she wanted a hand or an opinion. "Yes, fetch me another one of your colleagues, you're a guy, you'll be useless." "No problem, one second" I'll never forget it. A similar experience happened around two years later. Was looking for summer work, worked into a small little women's clothing store, spoke to the manager about a job. She just replied "Sorry, we don't hire guys." I do understand why, I'm not stupid. But it doesn't stop it from being sexist. Mintyboy4
A bit of Pain.
"Men. They can't even tolerant a little pain"
That was what a female pharmacist told my friend when he was desperately in need of pain killers because he had shingles and a nerve that he said was hurting him like it was on fire. HonchoMinerva
Underwear Scare.
GiphyReading women's magazines. People are so quick to point out how sexist men's mags are but have you ever picked up a woman's mag?
Not only do they constantly put other women down for their looks or for being promiscuous etc but they're FULL of stories/features calling all men stupid and useless. They also call all men shallow then post idealistic ideas of what makes a man 'hot.'
I even saw one that was asking people to send in photos of their hot boyfriends IN THEIR UNDERWEAR. Can you imagine the outcry if a men's mag asked for photos of hot girlfriends in their underwear potentially without their permission? Why is it any more acceptable to do the same to your boyfriend? It's a violation of privacy and the rights to his own body and how anybody could ever think that is okay is beyond me.
I hate sexism on both sides. There's never going to be equality and fairness if people are out there showing the same disrespect that they're supposed to be fighting against. Jake-Dorian
Wifflestakes....
We had a short Wiffleball league at work. The guy organizing it had different rules for men and women.
For example, women would walk two bases instead of one. Also, they would be required to use the wider bat.
A young lady on my team signed up. When she was told which bat to use, she said "f**k that" and picked up the other one. All of the different team captains unanimously voted to have the rules the same for everyone, so the organizer got overruled. Sylvaen1024
She started it!
Playing a football game, girl comes and grabs the a**es of all the men on the field including mine, execute grab.exe, take her to the side of the field, everyone is laughing and clapping. I looked at the girl (who I knew from girl's football) and jokingly said "Don't worry, I'll do the same at your next game," gave her a wink.
End of the game her father approached me (with a crowd behind him) and started to try and fight me while I was in my equipment. I stop him and told him it was a joke meanwhile the crowd shouts and throws crap at me like chip bags and stuff.
I ended up having to defend myself against 3 parents (who were obese so it wasn't hard to avoid any punches) while my team mates restrained others. Never again. AbyssCat1
Ready for PE...
The way we were graded for PE. We have a test for PE once every year were you need to run back and forth across the room within a certain time limit. Said time limit would get shorter and shorter in levels, while you still need to run the same distance. You would get graded on your level (you'd get a 6.0 for reaching level 6 for instance). The test tested you on your stamina most of all. But, our PE teacher would reduce the score for boys by 1. So if a girl reached level 7, they'd get a 7.0. If a boy reached the same level, they'd get a 6.0.
So a girl who barely broke a sweat getting to level 8 and thinking to herself "That's good enough, I think I'll quit here." would get an 8.0. On the other hand, a friend of mine who was pretty fat and also has a pretty bad case of asthma, he'd just about reach level 4, giving it everything he got and gasping for air afterwards. He got a 3. Luckily, the next year, I got a new PE teacher who would grade you on your performance as well as your effort and he graded everyone on their own terms. Dutchlander13
The Fight.
My stepfather had to pay his ex-wife ~3000 euros at the highest point a month. Their children were adults, moved out. He had leukemia. His ex-wife just didn't want to work.
He fought it like hell. It was 28 euros a month at last. But he had to fight it like hell, which is ridiculous. User_Nomi
Need a Plus one....
GiphyTwo friends and I (all 25 year old guys, working full time with good references) were looking for a flat, and were told by a property rental company that because we weren't flatting with a girl, they wouldn't rent us one. Helbrich
Mike Hurts Too.
I am the only guy on my team. All of the women who I work with consistently talk about how men are fundamentally "babies" who struggle to work through hard things.
Example: "Mike (her husband) got three tumors removed yesterday and he's all moaning and wincing and telling me about how it hurts. It's like I always say, men are just the biggest babies..." - This was an actual conversation my coworker had with me yesterday. leakyaquitard
The Girl Line.
Oh damn have I got the post for you. Back in grade 5 I had a teacher who would:
- Give all the male students female names, and refuse to call them by their actual names (myself included)
- Make everyone stand in the "girl line" (which was the only line mind you).
That kinda stuff really messes you up, especially since we were so young and impressionable. Ironically enough she went on to work at a all boys school, so idk how that turned out. TheDecoGecko
That Blinking Light.
GiphyExpecting men to know how to fix things, including electrical devices. I know nothing about it. _FTR
But it's P.E!
When it's boys vs girls in P.E. and the teachers give the guys ridiculous handicaps so the girls could win. Ztank99
When I was younger I went to a sports camp and we would play soccer and other sports. You would get points based off your gender and age. Example: 6 and under +7 7-8 +6 9-10 +5 Etc. I think 16+ was 1 point because the camp was for any ages and C.I.Ts could play
You also would get +5 points if you were a girl.
So the older kids would carry these little 6 year old girls on their back and pin down the goal keeper so they could score and give then 12 points. And this is for soccer, like wtf. Owenn04
Closing Time.
Working in a bar here. During the close, one thing not to forget : Trashes out, and furnitures in. I'm 1m75 for 59kg, clearly not the strongest human, and I also have a heart condition, that doesn't allow me to weigh heavy charges. Nonetheless, if I'm closing with a woman, she'll never have to do any of the lifting chores, because she's a woman. And when I explicitly say that it is sexist, managers and staffs just mock me, cry baby like. And DAMN, yes you're a woman, but you are a bartender just like I am, divide the work, as a team, especially when everyone where I work is or taller, or fatter than me, if not both. Balrow
Damn Booty Shorts...
My field is 85% women, so most rules are made in their favor. Two summers ago the A/C went out and we had to open windows just to get some air moving. It was nearly 80 F inside the building. Women started coming in with deep-cut tops, tank-tops, and short dresses/shorts but nothing was said. The guy I sat next to agreed that the next day we should be allowed to come in and wear t-shirts/shorts. So we show up the next day wearing clean, plain tees and clean, plain khaki shorts. We were immediately reprimanded and told that we were only allowed to wear polos/khaki pants. The rest of the week we were miserable and sweating profusely. We were even told to put away some standing fans we brought because they were "distracting." Jyadel
More Than Muscle.
Working in a hospital and and being male sucks. We're basically used as mules. We get assigned or called to assist all the heavy patients because we have "man muscles" as they like to put it. We constantly have to do extra work lifting and repositioning almost all patients as if we can't injure our backs. GtotheA
Mr. Dad! Thank You!
GiphyBeing a stay at home dad, everyone just assumes you're a lazy piece of crap. But a stay at home mom is like, God's gift to humanity. That's damn aggravating. angrydeuce
Equality.
Hiring somebody solely because they're a woman and the workforce "needs to be diverse." I'm not against hiring women, I actually really want women to succeed. I just think that it's wrong to hire someone ONLY because they have breasts and no ding-aling down under. Hire people because they're qualified and able to do the job; whether it's a man, woman, hispanic, African-American... whatever. Hire them for their skills, not their skin color or gender. FreshPrince711
Real People.
Since forever i always hate the "boys don't cry" crap.
It's basically like everyone poops, everyone cries. MZGTY
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.