Dating is hard. In today's day and age, we meet people so continuously and easily, but despite all that, it actually seems like it's gotten harder to connect.
These online profiles provide a layer of screening before you actually make contact with the people. Sometimes, these profiles tell you literally nothing. Sometimes they overshare. And sometimes, they tell you to swipe the heck left and never look back.
u/blarneyone asked:
Men of reddit, what's the worst thing women put in their tinder profiles?
Here were some of those answers.
50. Thrill In The Chase, NEVER The Capture
GiphyDemands. 'Be interesting' or 'I get bored easily' or any of the other million things I've seen that shows me they won't put in any effort and expect to be impressed and chased. Nope.
49. Well I Literally Know Nothing About You
Picture Picture Picture Picture
About (name):
"I DoNt KnOw LoL"
Interests:
"Animals"
Hobbies:
"."
What's your ideal date?:
"AnYtHiNg LoL"
Guys, we got an animal lover here! We're perfect for each other!
48. Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind
"My Husband is on Deployment, trying to have fun the entire time before he comes home."
Her husband was on deployment with me...
A few of my buddies in the Navy (one in particular had a really rough time with this) were cheated on. The dude who had it bad bad was unknowingly paying for everything his wife wanted to do with the other man. He had to file bankruptcy...
47. ZERO.
Oh boy, this isn't in a womans bio, but mine on POF about a decade ago.
I went out with a girl who ended up being an absolute nut job, stalking, 3am phone calls to my parents house, HIDING IN MY HOUSE, the works. After I finally got her out of my life, I left dating a while.
3 months or so later I made a new POF Profile, I was so scared that my bio basically said, "I'm terrified of all you crazy women, after sending me a criminal history check of yourself, maybe we can go out"
Guess how many messages/replies I got.
46. How Do You Know I'm Not Afraid Of Spiders Too
- Must be adventurous
- Has a good heart
- Able to kill spiders
I think they're looking for party members for a quest.
In all seriousness though, when their "profile" is more of a list of demands.
45. Plot Twist: I Am The Queen
Movie quotes and phrases that apply to literally everyone. "I like fun. You want a queen, Earn her" and all that nonsense. Just tell us what you're like! More importantly, give us something to talk about.
44. This Isn't A Contest
Just negative stuff like
"You gotta be able to keep up!"
"Don't waste my time"
"If my dog doesn't like you then I won't"
IMO this is a terrible way to go about Tinder, I see this kind of profile and swipe left, online dating is tough enough without having to deal with uptight judgmental types.
43. I Travel Too
"Likes to Travel".
Everyone likes that. Every single person on the planet likes travel. Even the people who have never traveled before like the IDEA of traveling to interesting and new (and not even necessarily far-off or wild) places. Even people who DON'T like traveling have liked traveling enough in the past to travel before to now know they don't like traveling.
You might as well say 'I am a human'. At least that would be good for a laugh.
42. I Ain't Paying Anybody
- I love my dog more than you
- I just wanna drink with someone
- Just looking for friends
- Pay me money
- No agency or personality
- "I like to travel" That sounds cool, I'm poor. Are you paying?
- List off a ton of topics, but no topics you can actually talk about
- Being incredibly aggressive for no reason
- Add me on Snapchat
41. I Just Want Clarity
GiphyI'm in the WLW section of Tinder and it really pisses me off that half of that population is straight women looking for friends. It makes the classic lesbian "friend or girlfriend?" Dillema so much worse. I've met up with a few women and I'm still not even sure if they were "dates".
40. A Measly Five?
Venmo me $5. th3_warth0g
In all seriousness, what exactly is supposed to happen? I always just immediately swipe left when I see that, but what exactly is the expectation? You send money, she goes, "omg thank you, ur so sweet" and messages you 2 more times before ghosting? cubemstr
39. Woof.
I like dogs and holidays then proceed to say don't be boring.
irony intensifies
(Guess who else likes dogs and holidays, most of the people on the planet dumbass). CaptainWack
38. Girls.
GiphyGirls: I don't reply on a simple "hi", surprise/amuse me.
Also girls: no infos in bio except name and age. mrpk9
"Hey there, I noticed that you're 24. How is that going for you?" CunnedStunt
37. Peek a Boo.
Only having group photos. SnausagesForDogs
You have to know she's the blurry red face peeking over the shoulder of her 4 hot friends. yes-itsmypavelow
If their first photo is a group photo they never end up being the most attractive person. Jalan_atthirari
36. Hey. Hey. Hey.
"Don't just say hey" most of these profile literally say nothing about their interests and yet you're supposed to strike up the best conversation they have ever seen just to get a reply back. Jmills2105
"..Most people haven't heard of the gulf of tonkin'. Luckily for you.." Ash_Tuck_ums
35. Being Basic.
GiphyStuff like "Take me on an adventure" or "I like to laugh". Besides being super basic, it sounds like they expect you to entertain them to no end, rather than mutually being good for each other. DM-YOUR-BOOBS-GIRL
34. Love & Adventure.
Today I've decided to take us on a romantic and sexy adventure to a secret cave not far from here. We'll need some special gear before going in, which I've gone ahead and purchased for us. This cave is so secret that I don't think anyone has ever actually been inside it!
We do have to be careful though, because it will be a pretty tight squeeze. Correct positioning will be critical for safe passage but I did a lot of "internet research" and I am certain I have the right tools for the job.
Once inside, we will need to make sure we communicate openly to make sure neither of us gets hurt. This cave is also a bit muddy, so I will be wearing a raincoat, and I brought some of these old towels out of the basement for you to clean up with, just in case.
We are about to get a lot of exercise so we should probably both limber up before we start off.
Now, if you'll hold this bottle of lube, we can get started. Rust_Dawg
33. Why are you here?
Stuff like 'I probably wont message back'. Like... wtf... why are you on Tinder then? Bunch of gimps. TallButTalentless
This is like going to an amusement park and not riding any of the rides. LostCanadianGoose
32. Too Many Chicks.
I have a bf, Just looking for friends :) That's one I've seen a few times and there are sooooo many chicks that just have their instagram as their bio and nothing else. FilthyBorking
31. Open Up.
"I have a boyfriend." Cheaters man. CommonStoner
Lots of people have an open relationship, never know. coatofgoldandred
30. Sugar....
GiphyI need a sugar daddy because I ain't got no money and I don't feel like working. theshak06
At least they are upfront so I know the say hell no before even matching.
Back in the day, you'd invest time and a few dates in before it comes out. squats_and_sugars
29. Too Close.
Only one picture, where you cannot even see her full face, and no description, sorry instant left swipe. TheBassMeister
Or just her face really close to the camera where she is hiding her body. CantHandleSociety88
28. What we Deserve.
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." GoodLordChokeAnABomb
Yeah, the line itself is fine. There are plenty of crappy people out there who will only want to interact with their partner if said partner is in a good mood (i.e. is willing to screw or otherwise please them). If said partner needs comfort or anything else, the crappy person will just leave them hanging.
So the sentiment of "you can't enjoy the good times with me if you don't accept the bad times with me too" is a healthy outlook.
But that phrase has been twisted to mean "if you don't let me get away with treating you like crap, then you're not good enough for me", and it's really disheartening. Virginth
26. A Family Affair.
Pictures of their children. Semi-understandable if it's them AND the kids, but I see too many where there are pics of JUST the kids. BrewtusMaximus1
As a female, I actually have a question of "why are your relatives kids in the photos? Do they know?"
I find this more creepy then endearing! These are usually not your kids and there's crazy people in the world. It makes me uneasy if you do that easily, what else are you willing to put out in the world. thephoenixofAsgard
25. How Old?
"Actually 19, I just don't know how to change my age." Profile age says 26. StayGoldBronyBoy
It's because they signed in with Facebook and are too dumb to realize that that's where the age came from. Tinder didn't just guess your age. Breadandextrabutter
24. Highs and Lows...
Only 6'2" or taller! Judge_Bredd
If you can't handle me at my smallest, you don't deserve my tallest. Mister-Horse
This is surprisingly common, yet saying "Only 150 pounds or lighter" would be considered quite taboo. rocketparrotlet
23. Fur babies....
Anything involving how much you love dogs. Seems like half of tinder thinks liking dogs and traveling are the ingredients to a personality. Kitehammer
Anyone who says "fur babies" or calls herself a "dog mom" is an immediate no. ItsMeTK
22. Keep the Past.
GiphyPictures with their ex. adamb1187
With his face scratched out. RedditMayne
This Could Be YOU! SwagYoloThiccChilFam
21. False Snap.
Snapchat Filters.
I honestly think it's an epidemic. I feel like I can't actually tell them that they're masking their insecurities and that's not how they actually look without getting the inevitable "I just do it because it's fun!" but there's absolutely some "false advertising" that these Snapchat filters edit out or hide or flat out fake (eyelashes, makeup filters, etc).
It's an enormous red flag for me when a girl has her default picture be one with a Snapchat filter or multitudes of pictures with them. It's just not a true representation of what your average appearance looks like, and for something like Tinder where we swipe left or right based on appearance it's just disingenuous.
Please just be yourself. Willster328
20. Oh Ladies....
callherdaddy! Phenomonal_Calories
I listened to a few podcasts and they were entertaining in a kind of novelty kind of way, but then very quickly I realized holy crap these two chicks are so toxic and give out the worst advice ever.
So toxic, and a lot of their humor is sarcastic or over the top but I legit wonder if there's women that actually take some of the things they say seriously. I see this or 'daddygang' in a profile and it tells me a lot. BirdhouseInYourS0ul
19. Nothing Worse...
Giphy"Live, Laugh, Love" homeware anywhere in shot. argosgold
Literally worse than a swastika. csl512
18. No Hooking Up...
"Just here for friends! Not looking for a hookup."
That's cool? If you're looking for friends on a dating/hook up app where you only see people of the opposite gender, then you're wasting everyone's time.
or
"me being a mommy comes first." or "I have a beautiful son/daughter and they are my whole world."
If you're a single parent great, but saying it like that says both "I'm immature and obnoxious." it's not very down to earth. Just say "Also I have a son/daughter so please make sure you're ready to date someone with a child."
or just a "I'm a single parent but looking to date." sounds way better than "proud mommy of 2 and looking for a real man." GoldMrSoul
17. Both Sides....
I'm a woman, but I've spotted this on both genders profiles - 'I like quiet nights in, and going out!' (I personally like to linger in doorways, with one leg out and one leg safely inside)
I'm pretty sure the secret to profiles is to be as specific as possible. "I like vacations to cities where I get to read every sign in the museum and then have a 3 course meal with wine pairings at night." "I greatly enjoy works of science fiction written by women and like to create my own illustrations for them."
"I am very politically active and work phone banks and canvas during election years."
Kind of like writing a good character = examples of their personality showcased by their actions instead of saying "she was sassy and independent." rickybakerahah
16. Overdone....
"Not here for a long time, I'm here for a good time!"
So overused. Egosius
I always assumed that was just a plausibly-deniable way to say they are looking for hookups. RushedIdea
15. Oh Utah.
I live in Utah. Damn near every bio has the word adventure in it. Please be more specific. Do you want to go hiking or smuggle a priceless figurine of the Egyptian god Thoth up your butt to keep it from falling into the hands of the police? SpartanH089
14. Accomplishments.
Not a bio, but I saw a woman put a picture up of her high school diploma. So, that was a thing. AWildBlitz
Reminds me of the dude I saw put a picture of his credit score. It was like, 730, which isn't bad, but isn't the most impressive either. routineriot
13. Are you a Cancer?
GiphyTheir zodiac sign. I already know that anyone who thinks that's in any way important is going to be exhausting. TheyCallMeRamon
Between that, blank bios, people who only have Snapchat filtered pics, no pics at all, or people asking for money, I end up left swiping probably 75% of the time. Astrognome
12. Dogs First!
"I'll probably like your dog more than I like you." Cool, then volunteer at an animal shelter or something and stop wasting everyone's time. Varaskana
"You mean spend time taking care of dogs, instead of visiting briefly with a dog that somebody else is totally responsible for? Ew!" frogandbanjo
11. DVR Listings.
"I like The Office"
I do too, but it's not a personality trait. realtomatocatsup
That would be a good sign for my partner and I because that means when we hang out we can just put on the office like we normally do. CantHandleSociety88
10. Be Serious.
"Don't waste my time", "Only message if serious", etc. etc. Because in my experience it's the women of Tinder, not the men, who waste everyone's time with their ghosting.
I would say 80% of the women on Tinder have no interest in actually hooking up or dating anyone. They're just there for validation. They love the ego boost they get from the 100s of messages daily and the thirsty dudes worshiping them. PhillipLlerenas
9. So Pretty.
GiphyTheir ugly kids. capnkarl96
Or themselves as an ugly kid. Or cute kid, doesn't matter.
No one should be choosing whether or not to date you based on how you looked as a kid, so don't use one of the few pictures to show it. RushedIdea
8. Add to the Mix...
"I don't check this often just add me on snapchat"
IDK why but this is becoming increasingly common. And adding randos on snapchat defeats the purpose of matching anyway. duelingdelbene
7. Grind Away.
Grindr is so much easier: "No friends, hook-ups only." KevynJacobs
I honestly thought about putting a profile on that app just to see how I do. Screw it may as well just go all the way. I'll report back. toxichots
6. Fluent.
"Fluent in sarcasm" "Wiiiiiine!" "Taaaaacos!" "Looking for the Jim to my Pam" "If you're under 8' swipe left." emintrie7
5. HAHAHAHA....
Anything along the lines of "make me laugh or I won't respond." You swiped right for a reason, not responding is dumb. Jgobbi
4.TMI....
- "I hate talking here, message me on Instagram". I assume she's only on Tinder to get more followers.
- Calling themselves sexy/beautiful/pretty/etc. Even if it's true, it's conceited, and tells me what matters to her. ghost0427
3. Dogs Know.
"If my dog doesn't like you, I probably won't either" That grinds my gears. JTaters
Put a little bacon grease all the places you would normally put cologne. Watch her freak out when her dog starts going to town on your crotch. twerky_stark
2. Women Logic.
GiphyThose stupid cat ear, dog snout, sparkles, etc. filters. They're so dumb. How do they help?
Or saying they want to be in a relationship but don't want no drama or games. Dude, there's a lot of games and drama in even the best relationships. Dumb-dumb. strangelove77
Re: the animal, etc. filters...They also include airbrushing and other features made to make them look better. But if they used a filter that ONLY did that, they'd be perceived as shallow or misleading. So instead, it's the same thing, but with some goofy dog ears or some crap. Now they can say, "Oh, I just thought it was cute!" instead of "I'm trying to misrepresent how I look!"
That's women logic for you. dystopianview
1. It's All the Same....
I swear every girl's profile is the same. I don't know how guys look but this is legit almost every single girl profile I see.. to the point now I just reflexively swipe left as soon as I see..
"I love traveling, hiking and being outdoors"
Almost every profile has every pic of them in the mountains and all over the world. To the point it feels like these people live in a different country every month and in the mountains every weekend. Maybe some of them are, I dunno. Not hating, it's just the same word use over and over....
And if they're single moms....
"I have x-number [amazing] kids that are my world"
The kids are always "amazing" and always "their world" IDC if they're single moms personally, it's the same robotic wording that gripes me. enzomatrix1980
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.