Men Share The Worst Things They've Ever Seen In Someone's Online Dating Profile
Dating is hard. In today's day and age, we meet people so continuously and easily, but despite all that, it actually seems like it's gotten harder to connect.
These online profiles provide a layer of screening before you actually make contact with the people. Sometimes, these profiles tell you literally nothing. Sometimes they overshare. And sometimes, they tell you to swipe the heck left and never look back.
Men of reddit, what's the worst thing women put in their tinder profiles?
Here were some of those answers.
50. Thrill In The Chase, NEVER The CaptureGiphy
Demands. 'Be interesting' or 'I get bored easily' or any of the other million things I've seen that shows me they won't put in any effort and expect to be impressed and chased. Nope.
49. Well I Literally Know Nothing About You
Picture Picture Picture Picture
"I DoNt KnOw LoL"
What's your ideal date?:
Guys, we got an animal lover here! We're perfect for each other!
48. Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind
"My Husband is on Deployment, trying to have fun the entire time before he comes home."
Her husband was on deployment with me...
A few of my buddies in the Navy (one in particular had a really rough time with this) were cheated on. The dude who had it bad bad was unknowingly paying for everything his wife wanted to do with the other man. He had to file bankruptcy...
Oh boy, this isn't in a womans bio, but mine on POF about a decade ago.
I went out with a girl who ended up being an absolute nut job, stalking, 3am phone calls to my parents house, HIDING IN MY HOUSE, the works. After I finally got her out of my life, I left dating a while.
3 months or so later I made a new POF Profile, I was so scared that my bio basically said, "I'm terrified of all you crazy women, after sending me a criminal history check of yourself, maybe we can go out"
Guess how many messages/replies I got.
46. How Do You Know I'm Not Afraid Of Spiders Too
- Must be adventurous
- Has a good heart
- Able to kill spiders
I think they're looking for party members for a quest.
In all seriousness though, when their "profile" is more of a list of demands.
45. Plot Twist: I Am The Queen
Movie quotes and phrases that apply to literally everyone. "I like fun. You want a queen, Earn her" and all that nonsense. Just tell us what you're like! More importantly, give us something to talk about.
44. This Isn't A Contest
Just negative stuff like
"You gotta be able to keep up!"
"Don't waste my time"
"If my dog doesn't like you then I won't"
IMO this is a terrible way to go about Tinder, I see this kind of profile and swipe left, online dating is tough enough without having to deal with uptight judgmental types.
43. I Travel Too
"Likes to Travel".
Everyone likes that. Every single person on the planet likes travel. Even the people who have never traveled before like the IDEA of traveling to interesting and new (and not even necessarily far-off or wild) places. Even people who DON'T like traveling have liked traveling enough in the past to travel before to now know they don't like traveling.
You might as well say 'I am a human'. At least that would be good for a laugh.
42. I Ain't Paying Anybody
- I love my dog more than you
- I just wanna drink with someone
- Just looking for friends
- Pay me money
- No agency or personality
- "I like to travel" That sounds cool, I'm poor. Are you paying?
- List off a ton of topics, but no topics you can actually talk about
- Being incredibly aggressive for no reason
- Add me on Snapchat
41. I Just Want ClarityGiphy
I'm in the WLW section of Tinder and it really pisses me off that half of that population is straight women looking for friends. It makes the classic lesbian "friend or girlfriend?" Dillema so much worse. I've met up with a few women and I'm still not even sure if they were "dates".
40. A Measly Five?
Venmo me $5. th3_warth0g
In all seriousness, what exactly is supposed to happen? I always just immediately swipe left when I see that, but what exactly is the expectation? You send money, she goes, "omg thank you, ur so sweet" and messages you 2 more times before ghosting? cubemstr
I like dogs and holidays then proceed to say don't be boring.
(Guess who else likes dogs and holidays, most of the people on the planet dumbass). CaptainWack
Girls: I don't reply on a simple "hi", surprise/amuse me.
Also girls: no infos in bio except name and age. mrpk9
"Hey there, I noticed that you're 24. How is that going for you?" CunnedStunt
37. Peek a Boo.
Only having group photos. SnausagesForDogs
You have to know she's the blurry red face peeking over the shoulder of her 4 hot friends. yes-itsmypavelow
If their first photo is a group photo they never end up being the most attractive person. Jalan_atthirari
36. Hey. Hey. Hey.
"Don't just say hey" most of these profile literally say nothing about their interests and yet you're supposed to strike up the best conversation they have ever seen just to get a reply back. Jmills2105
"..Most people haven't heard of the gulf of tonkin'. Luckily for you.." Ash_Tuck_ums
35. Being Basic.Giphy
Stuff like "Take me on an adventure" or "I like to laugh". Besides being super basic, it sounds like they expect you to entertain them to no end, rather than mutually being good for each other. DM-YOUR-BOOBS-GIRL
34. Love & Adventure.
Today I've decided to take us on a romantic and sexy adventure to a secret cave not far from here. We'll need some special gear before going in, which I've gone ahead and purchased for us. This cave is so secret that I don't think anyone has ever actually been inside it!
We do have to be careful though, because it will be a pretty tight squeeze. Correct positioning will be critical for safe passage but I did a lot of "internet research" and I am certain I have the right tools for the job.
Once inside, we will need to make sure we communicate openly to make sure neither of us gets hurt. This cave is also a bit muddy, so I will be wearing a raincoat, and I brought some of these old towels out of the basement for you to clean up with, just in case.
We are about to get a lot of exercise so we should probably both limber up before we start off.
Now, if you'll hold this bottle of lube, we can get started. Rust_Dawg
33. Why are you here?
Stuff like 'I probably wont message back'. Like... wtf... why are you on Tinder then? Bunch of gimps. TallButTalentless
This is like going to an amusement park and not riding any of the rides. LostCanadianGoose
32. Too Many Chicks.
I have a bf, Just looking for friends :) That's one I've seen a few times and there are sooooo many chicks that just have their instagram as their bio and nothing else. FilthyBorking
31. Open Up.
"I have a boyfriend." Cheaters man. CommonStoner
Lots of people have an open relationship, never know. coatofgoldandred
I need a sugar daddy because I ain't got no money and I don't feel like working. theshak06
At least they are upfront so I know the say hell no before even matching.
Back in the day, you'd invest time and a few dates in before it comes out. squats_and_sugars
29. Too Close.
Only one picture, where you cannot even see her full face, and no description, sorry instant left swipe. TheBassMeister
Or just her face really close to the camera where she is hiding her body. CantHandleSociety88
28. What we Deserve.
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." GoodLordChokeAnABomb
Yeah, the line itself is fine. There are plenty of crappy people out there who will only want to interact with their partner if said partner is in a good mood (i.e. is willing to screw or otherwise please them). If said partner needs comfort or anything else, the crappy person will just leave them hanging.
So the sentiment of "you can't enjoy the good times with me if you don't accept the bad times with me too" is a healthy outlook.
But that phrase has been twisted to mean "if you don't let me get away with treating you like crap, then you're not good enough for me", and it's really disheartening. Virginth
"treat this queen right." FunkMunker
May I slay you? rrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeee
26. A Family Affair.
Pictures of their children. Semi-understandable if it's them AND the kids, but I see too many where there are pics of JUST the kids. BrewtusMaximus1
As a female, I actually have a question of "why are your relatives kids in the photos? Do they know?"
I find this more creepy then endearing! These are usually not your kids and there's crazy people in the world. It makes me uneasy if you do that easily, what else are you willing to put out in the world. thephoenixofAsgard
25. How Old?
"Actually 19, I just don't know how to change my age." Profile age says 26. StayGoldBronyBoy
It's because they signed in with Facebook and are too dumb to realize that that's where the age came from. Tinder didn't just guess your age. Breadandextrabutter
24. Highs and Lows...
Only 6'2" or taller! Judge_Bredd
If you can't handle me at my smallest, you don't deserve my tallest. Mister-Horse
This is surprisingly common, yet saying "Only 150 pounds or lighter" would be considered quite taboo. rocketparrotlet
23. Fur babies....
Anything involving how much you love dogs. Seems like half of tinder thinks liking dogs and traveling are the ingredients to a personality. Kitehammer
Anyone who says "fur babies" or calls herself a "dog mom" is an immediate no. ItsMeTK
22. Keep the Past.Giphy
Pictures with their ex. adamb1187
With his face scratched out. RedditMayne
This Could Be YOU! SwagYoloThiccChilFam
21. False Snap.
I honestly think it's an epidemic. I feel like I can't actually tell them that they're masking their insecurities and that's not how they actually look without getting the inevitable "I just do it because it's fun!" but there's absolutely some "false advertising" that these Snapchat filters edit out or hide or flat out fake (eyelashes, makeup filters, etc).
It's an enormous red flag for me when a girl has her default picture be one with a Snapchat filter or multitudes of pictures with them. It's just not a true representation of what your average appearance looks like, and for something like Tinder where we swipe left or right based on appearance it's just disingenuous.
Please just be yourself. Willster328
20. Oh Ladies....
I listened to a few podcasts and they were entertaining in a kind of novelty kind of way, but then very quickly I realized holy crap these two chicks are so toxic and give out the worst advice ever.
So toxic, and a lot of their humor is sarcastic or over the top but I legit wonder if there's women that actually take some of the things they say seriously. I see this or 'daddygang' in a profile and it tells me a lot. BirdhouseInYourS0ul
19. Nothing Worse...Giphy
"Live, Laugh, Love" homeware anywhere in shot. argosgold
Literally worse than a swastika. csl512
18. No Hooking Up...
"Just here for friends! Not looking for a hookup."
That's cool? If you're looking for friends on a dating/hook up app where you only see people of the opposite gender, then you're wasting everyone's time.
"me being a mommy comes first." or "I have a beautiful son/daughter and they are my whole world."
If you're a single parent great, but saying it like that says both "I'm immature and obnoxious." it's not very down to earth. Just say "Also I have a son/daughter so please make sure you're ready to date someone with a child."
or just a "I'm a single parent but looking to date." sounds way better than "proud mommy of 2 and looking for a real man." GoldMrSoul
17. Both Sides....
I'm a woman, but I've spotted this on both genders profiles - 'I like quiet nights in, and going out!' (I personally like to linger in doorways, with one leg out and one leg safely inside)
I'm pretty sure the secret to profiles is to be as specific as possible. "I like vacations to cities where I get to read every sign in the museum and then have a 3 course meal with wine pairings at night." "I greatly enjoy works of science fiction written by women and like to create my own illustrations for them."
"I am very politically active and work phone banks and canvas during election years."
Kind of like writing a good character = examples of their personality showcased by their actions instead of saying "she was sassy and independent." rickybakerahah
"Not here for a long time, I'm here for a good time!"
So overused. Egosius
I always assumed that was just a plausibly-deniable way to say they are looking for hookups. RushedIdea
15. Oh Utah.
I live in Utah. Damn near every bio has the word adventure in it. Please be more specific. Do you want to go hiking or smuggle a priceless figurine of the Egyptian god Thoth up your butt to keep it from falling into the hands of the police? SpartanH089
Not a bio, but I saw a woman put a picture up of her high school diploma. So, that was a thing. AWildBlitz
Reminds me of the dude I saw put a picture of his credit score. It was like, 730, which isn't bad, but isn't the most impressive either. routineriot
13. Are you a Cancer?Giphy
Their zodiac sign. I already know that anyone who thinks that's in any way important is going to be exhausting. TheyCallMeRamon
Between that, blank bios, people who only have Snapchat filtered pics, no pics at all, or people asking for money, I end up left swiping probably 75% of the time. Astrognome
12. Dogs First!
"I'll probably like your dog more than I like you." Cool, then volunteer at an animal shelter or something and stop wasting everyone's time. Varaskana
"You mean spend time taking care of dogs, instead of visiting briefly with a dog that somebody else is totally responsible for? Ew!" frogandbanjo
11. DVR Listings.
"I like The Office"
I do too, but it's not a personality trait. realtomatocatsup
That would be a good sign for my partner and I because that means when we hang out we can just put on the office like we normally do. CantHandleSociety88
10. Be Serious.
"Don't waste my time", "Only message if serious", etc. etc. Because in my experience it's the women of Tinder, not the men, who waste everyone's time with their ghosting.
I would say 80% of the women on Tinder have no interest in actually hooking up or dating anyone. They're just there for validation. They love the ego boost they get from the 100s of messages daily and the thirsty dudes worshiping them. PhillipLlerenas
9. So Pretty.Giphy
Their ugly kids. capnkarl96
Or themselves as an ugly kid. Or cute kid, doesn't matter.
No one should be choosing whether or not to date you based on how you looked as a kid, so don't use one of the few pictures to show it. RushedIdea
8. Add to the Mix...
"I don't check this often just add me on snapchat"
IDK why but this is becoming increasingly common. And adding randos on snapchat defeats the purpose of matching anyway. duelingdelbene
7. Grind Away.
Grindr is so much easier: "No friends, hook-ups only." KevynJacobs
I honestly thought about putting a profile on that app just to see how I do. Screw it may as well just go all the way. I'll report back. toxichots
"Fluent in sarcasm" "Wiiiiiine!" "Taaaaacos!" "Looking for the Jim to my Pam" "If you're under 8' swipe left." emintrie7
Anything along the lines of "make me laugh or I won't respond." You swiped right for a reason, not responding is dumb. Jgobbi
- "I hate talking here, message me on Instagram". I assume she's only on Tinder to get more followers.
- Calling themselves sexy/beautiful/pretty/etc. Even if it's true, it's conceited, and tells me what matters to her. ghost0427
3. Dogs Know.
"If my dog doesn't like you, I probably won't either" That grinds my gears. JTaters
Put a little bacon grease all the places you would normally put cologne. Watch her freak out when her dog starts going to town on your crotch. twerky_stark
2. Women Logic.Giphy
Those stupid cat ear, dog snout, sparkles, etc. filters. They're so dumb. How do they help?
Or saying they want to be in a relationship but don't want no drama or games. Dude, there's a lot of games and drama in even the best relationships. Dumb-dumb. strangelove77
Re: the animal, etc. filters...They also include airbrushing and other features made to make them look better. But if they used a filter that ONLY did that, they'd be perceived as shallow or misleading. So instead, it's the same thing, but with some goofy dog ears or some crap. Now they can say, "Oh, I just thought it was cute!" instead of "I'm trying to misrepresent how I look!"
That's women logic for you. dystopianview
1. It's All the Same....
I swear every girl's profile is the same. I don't know how guys look but this is legit almost every single girl profile I see.. to the point now I just reflexively swipe left as soon as I see..
"I love traveling, hiking and being outdoors"
Almost every profile has every pic of them in the mountains and all over the world. To the point it feels like these people live in a different country every month and in the mountains every weekend. Maybe some of them are, I dunno. Not hating, it's just the same word use over and over....
And if they're single moms....
"I have x-number [amazing] kids that are my world"
The kids are always "amazing" and always "their world" IDC if they're single moms personally, it's the same robotic wording that gripes me. enzomatrix1980
People Debate Mandatory Retirement At 75 For Congress And The Supreme Court
When Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed away in the fall of 2020, the United States panicked.
Namely, democrats and liberals were terrified by the prospect of another conservative judge on the United States Supreme Court, which already had a two-seat majority.
Then of course, there was the ongoing debate as to whether or not then-sitting president Donald Trump was entitled to pick another Supreme Court judge, as the 2020 presidential election was only weeks away.
Barack Obama was famously banned from appointing Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court owing to the fact that it was an election year, even though President Obama still had eight months left in his presidency.
Of course, RBG's death at age 87 also brought to the forefront an ongoing debate about whether there should be age limits for Supreme Court Justices.
"Would you support a mandatory retirement age of 75 for US House, US Senate & US Supreme Court Justices and if not why?"
If There Are Minimums, There Should Be Maximums
"We have age minimums."
"We need maximum age limits these people are making decisions for a future they won't be involved in."- mattjf22
Age Doesn't Always Equal Wisdom...
"I am 82 years old."
"Personally, I feel that anyone my age who still gets off on power needs to be kept away from normal people."
"But to the point of this post, the world has been run by old people since the beginning of our species, and just look at the place!"
"Yes, if you were intelligent to begin with your wisdom and common sense will increase with age, but so will your cynicism."
"If you were a young jacka**, you will become an old jacka** — and a hide-bound prejudiced old jackass at that."
"Give them a nice pension at 70, with the condition that if they mess with politics or government again they lose the pension."- SemichiSam
Would Have Greatly Affected The Last Two Elections
"70 and as for president no one can run over 65."
"FFS get with the program folks just retire."- Upstairs-Bid6513
Age Limits Are Only The Beginning
"Age requirement of 65, 2 term limit, Congress people serve 4 year instead of 2 year terms, and no campaigning more than 60 days before the election."- Deedoodleday
Term Limits First
"I feel like if we were to attach an age to it, it should be the age of retirement, but I feel like it would be more important to have term limits."
"Limits would fix almost all the same issues and address more, without arbitrarily deciding someone is too old to serve the state."- Askmyrkr
"Term limit is the way to go."- bob2235
Not Where Our Concerns Should Be...
"No, the problem isn't age, it's our election system."
"Politicians get old in office because it's so f*cking hard to vote them out!"
"End legal bribery, end FPTP, and we'll see a much healthier turnover in our political processes."- FountainsOfFluids
What Matters Is Their Qualifications And Abilities
"I'll be the contrarian."
"If you're good, you're good, regardless of age."
"I'll take a 75-year-old who is smarter, savvier, and better representative of my values than a 35-year-old."
"If you don't like them because they're senile, don't vote for them, that's all."
"Honestly, I feel the same about lower-age limits that aren't just the age of majority."- walkerintheworld
75 Is still Too Old...
"I would go even younger at 70."
"Sure that may mean we would lose Bernie, we would also be ditching McConnell, Pelosi, and the other fossils in office who refuse to address the problems we face."- Daryno90
"Would rather see mandatory voting like Australia."- szthesquid
Wouldn't Change Anything
"Making politicians retire at some arbitrary age would not address the underlying problems our system has."- giope_1995
"What problem are you trying to solve by doing this?"
"Apparently, people want to be represented by ancient dinosaurs."- SideShow117
Defeats The Point Of Democracy
"No, absolutely not."
"Nor should there be a minimum age (apart from 18)."
"The point of a representative democracy is that the people vote for whom they want."
"Putting restrictions on who can run serves no purpose other than invalidating the votes of people you disagree with."
"It's not up to you or me to decide who is 'valid' as a candidate."
"That's the entire point of democracy."
"And to those of you that are convinced that if all the old people were just gone, then everyone would agree with you, you're ironically the exact kind of uninformed voter that you claim to be trying to prevent."- scottevil110
"No, because if there was a 76-year-old candidate I liked I would want the freedom to vote for them."
"Supporting things like this is so short-sighted."- tedesco455
In the heat of the moment, it's easy to make rash decisions about government and democracy.
Frustrating though it may be, it's important to remember progress is a slow, steady stream and doesn't come easily.
Also worth remembering, there are indeed two sides to most arguments, and far more can be resolved in a discussion than in an attack.
As humans with autonomy and knowledge, we try to protect ourselves as much as we can. However, accidents do happen, and while we can expect the unexpected, we can't always protect ourselves from it.
Because there isn't always a defense, people sometimes have a close brush with death. They experience something that could've killed them but, by some miracle... didn't.
More people have stories like that than we expect.
Redditors are no exception and, in fact, were eager to share their close calls.
It all started when Redditor XboxCorgi asked:
"What has been your closest moment to death?"
Minding My Own Business
"Was sitting at my computer on the ground floor playing TF2 when a car came through the wall, smashed my desk and computer and almost killed me."
"I can’t imagine just chilling playing a video game and then the next second a car comes through my wall."
Swim Parallel To The Shore
"I almost drowned in the ocean in Hawaii. I had swum out from shore, started getting tired, started swimming back but the current was pulling me out to sea! Scary as hell. I started to panic, but I remembered that the side stroke is the one that takes the least energy, so I started doing that and for 10 or 15 minutes just went back towards the shore. I wound up a few beaches south of where I had started! I had to walk north to return to my group."
"I almost died like this in Panama when I was in the Army. Some of my buddies and I tried to swim out to what we thought was as an island from the beach, got halfway there only to realize it was a volcanic rock and that the waves crashing against it would surely crush/drown us. As we’re treading in murky pacific water something very large bumped against my leg (I suspect it might have been a shark but cannot say for certain as I never saw a fin). As we tried to swim back to shore we were all caught in a rip current, swimming towards the beach but going nowhere. As my friends and I ran out of steam to the point that we were panting faces barely above the water I put my foot down onto a coral reef or volcanic rock where I was able to catch my breath and then help my friends over to where I was."
"Eventually made it back to shore after swimming sideways out of the rip current, but that is legit probably the closest I’ve come to death."
"Unfortunately years later I had a friend in the army stationed in Hawaii who kayaked to an island, his boat got pulled out by the tide, and when he swam to get it he went under and never came back up. I knew we’d had a close call, but when that happened it really sunk in how incredibly stupid what we did was."
"Joplin tornado in 2011. I was in the bathtub as my house was destroyed around me."
"Edit: I was taking cover in the bathtub, not taking a bath."
"There was a tornado 15 years back or so in Oconto County in WI and a bar owner told us he had no shelter so he got into his bath tub and his house (trailer?) was destroyed around him. He says when it calmed down and he sat up there was a deer standing nearby looking at him and he said, "well buddy, I guess we made it.""
"The light was red so I put my car to park because it was taking a while longer than usual. It went green and I forgot to take it off park, but as soon as I put it in drive a semitruck ran a red light."
"Mate, that is f*cking terrifying. I can actually picture the scene and imagine the sound of it rumbling past, possibly horn blaring. Thank goodness for that little brain fart you had."
"A Fart That Saved My Life"
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
"Was working on an oyster boat. It was a beautiful day and we were sorting oysters on the boat of the deck. All of a sudden I felt the gentlest of taps on the back of my skull. When I turned around I saw my supervisor, red-faced with the effort of restraining the metal boom, which had come loose and almost slammed right into my head. He was able to slow it down just in time so I only got that little tap (guy's basically all muscle). If he hadn't done that I would have been dead for sure."
A Terrifying Vacation
"I went to Mexico in 2017 and nearly died my first day there. Was all good, having fun, having a few drinks, nothing too crazy though. Went to my room in the evening, and suddenly got a bad stomach ache that just got worse and worse with each min that passed. I also got feverish and delirious pretty quickly."
"I remember for some reason I decided a shower would be a good idea, and that's where my gf at the time found me heaped on the floor screaming in pain. I vaguely remember a paramedic stabbing me in the a** with some morphine which allowed to calm down. (Was not all the fun its cracked up to be, just made me sleep)"
"Get to the hospital, and they quickly find out that im going septic from a stomach infection. A few more hours and Id have been dead. Spent 3 days there, lost 30 pounds and could only eat soft fruit for about a week after."
"I also got the worst strep throat on the plane ride home too... my immune system was already weak, so it was horrible. Made me cough so much that blood came up. That was another hospital trip when I got home."
"The doctor who oversaw my care in Mexico was the most amazing doctor though. He spent the first 36 hours with me to make sure I was Ok, didn't eat or sleep or anything."
"Edit: I didn't get the infection in Mexico, I brought it with me. Doc said it had been building in my system for at least a week from the strength of it."
"I was around 3-4, picked up a live electric wire on the ground to play with. Got electrocuted immediately. Good samaritan grabbed a wooden stick and hit it out of my hands. People told my me later that they told my dad not to touch me because I was probably gone. That good samaritan saved my life. Acted when no one else did."
"Wow insane that they knew what to do. I don’t think I’d be able to think that fast the correct way to save someone in such a situation."
"When I was real young, I was with my family at a hotel in Virginia (not sure which), but it had a decent sized pool.
"We were swimming in it, and my family went over to the deeper end. Not knowing how to swim, I stayed at the shallow end. After a while, I started feeling left out cause it looked like they were having fun, so I started to make my way over, hanging onto the edge."
"Dumb little me got careless, and my fingers slipped off the edge, and I started drowning pretty quick. About 5 seconds later, I get hoisted partly out of the water by a big Mexican lady, and she sets me on the edge of the pool. I hacked and coughed for a good minute before I walked along the edge to my family.
"They never noticed, and I never said a thing about it to them since."
"I had undiagnosed diabetes for about 6 months, my blood sugar was in the 500's, I got to skip the line in the emergency room the doctors were so scared I was going to go to a coma."
"Hey, fellow diabetic here. Same story but my sugars were apparently over 800? Doc said the only reason I wasn't admitted straight to the ICU was cause I walked into the hospital instead of being brought in by an ambulance."
"I was 7. My family had just arrived back home from watching The Incredibles in theaters. I decided to try and run like Dash around the whole house."
"I ended up running through the kitchen toward the back door that led to our back yard way too fast and couldn’t stop. This door had a window in it, and when I put my hands out to stop myself, I ran into the door and my hands went through the window."
"My parents heard the crash and called out for me to ask if I was ok. I came walking out of the kitchen into the living room, blood pouring from my wrist. I was in a Disney princess night gown too, so it was honestly like a scene from a horror movie."
"We lived in a remote area, so when my parents called the ambulance, it couldn’t find our house at first. My mom had to run out and flag down the ambulance while my dad was applying pressure to my wrist with a bunch of towels to try to stop the bleeding. The ambulance finally got to our house and the EMTs were able to get the bleeding to stop and take me to the hospital."
"I lived! The scar is pretty gnarly."
Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls
"Waterfall hiking. Dipped my foot in on top and was immediately swept under and over about 3 waterfalls. Was very lucky to land where I did. Still have a chunk outta my leg to this day."
"I was on the back of my dad's motorcycle and he had a heart attack and blacked out. Bike went over; I hit the ground headfirst. Luckily he felt something was wrong and slowed down, so it wasn't nearly as close to death for me as it was for him, but it was still super scary. Thank god for helmets."
"dam did you r dad survive too?"
"He did! This was about 10 years ago and he's been taking good care of himself and hasn't had more heart problems!"
Despite the happy ending, that might actually be the worst one, and that's saying something!
The human body is truly amazing. It's resilient, it can create antibodies to fight off infections, and it comes in all shapes and sizes.
There are some awesome facts about the human body, like that no two people have the same fingerprints.
However, there are also some creepy facts about the human body.
Redditors are well aware of this and are ready to share the creepiest facts they know about the human body.
It all started when Redditor MorBot07 asked:
"What creepy fact about the human body do you know?"
I Need To Go Take A Nap
"Too much lack of sleep can cause the brain to "eat itself", cutting connections and making things like alzheimer more probable in later life."
"nothing has been able to convince me to start sleeping more but i think this comment really did it for me.."
"If your spinal cord loses adequate blood supply for a short period of time, you can be temporarily paralyzed."
"The first sign that your spine is "waking up" again is that you regain a specific reflex, where if you squeeze that person's penis or clitoris, their anus contracts. If that happens, it's a good sign."
Just The Right Spot
"A single punch to the chest can stop your heart. A single punch to the gut can rupture your spleen and kill you. A single punch to the face or back of the head can kill you. (the back of the head being less sudden and more noticeable)..."
"Let it be known that, despite all the things we can endure, humans are insanely fragile in many ways you may not even have thought of."
The Other Side Of Me
"Some people’s organs are on the wrong side of their body, like a mirror image… It’s called Situs Inversus"
"This is true! I actually have this. Partial Situs Inversus. Dextrocardia. It doesn’t harm me just means my heart in on the wrong side so the opposite lung is smaller. Can cause issues when I’m sick but nothing more."
"There are pregnancy cancers. You can have little baby cell metastases growing in your brain if you decide to have a baby and some of cell multiplier genes go wrong."
"Add that to the list of why I need bodily autonomy. 😬"
Time For A Reboot
"A seizure, despite how terrifying they may be, are your brain's response to the brain equivalent of a runtime error. Something happened that shouldn't have, and your brain is restarting to get everything running smoothly again."
"Source: epileptic since 2003"
"When we die, it looks like your fingernails are still growing, but it’s actually just the skin around your fingers shrinking."
A Body Is An Ecosystem
"Your body contains just as many foreign cells, i.e. gut bacteria, as your own body cells. These cells produce hundreds of neurochemicals that the brain uses to regulate basic physiological processes as well as mental processes such as learning, memory and mood. Some believe this is the "gut feeling" people sometimes get in certain situations."
"I’m currently pregnant with a girl. I’m currently holding the cells that could become my grandchild."
"Samesies. Every person in existence was once half inside their biological maternal grandmother."
"I don’t know if it qualifies as creepy.. I’m a nurse, and I’ve always found it interesting how the body attempts to compensate when sick which incidentally tends to lead to you becoming sicker because of how overworked your body is."
Different Species, One Body
"An estimated 30 trillion cells in your body—less than a third—are human. The other 70-90% are bacterial and fungal. Ninety-nine percent of the unique genes in your body are bacterial."
"If you have a stroke (or other brain injury) that effects parts of the brain associated with speech, you will probably end up with some type of aphasia."
"For example, my “favorite” type of aphasia is Wernicke’s Aphasia; patients can form whole words and even sentences, but they usually make no sense. I had a patient with Wernicke’s Aphasia who would constantly say something close to “we have to rescue the dog(s) from the DMV!” It took me about 30 mins to figure out this person wanted something to drink."
A Whole New Person
"I heard or read once that essentially every 7 years your body has completely regenerated. Of course it's a slow on going process but 7 years from now no cell that's currently in your body will still be there."
"Eyes are the only part of the body that don't grow. Same size when you die as when you were born."
We Are Strong
"You could easily bite your own fingers or tongue off, but (unless you're seriously mentally ill) your brain prevents you from doing so."
They say knowledge is power, but I'm not sure I'm better off for knowing of this!
Until we're in a situation, we'll never really know how we'll react.
I have been in this scenario, though.
Sex matters. And people rarely want to admit how much.
But sex isn't a lifetime guarantee.
It fades, as does love.
It's important to speak about it.
It can be a fixable situation.
A relationship without sex may not be the end of the world, but it's definitely a sign that something is off.
Redditor Deviant55 wanted to talk about physical intimacy in relationships, so they asked:
"How important is sex to you in a relationship? Could you be with someone you love even if sex was off the table indefinitely?"
I learned how much sex matters in my last relationship.
Once I wasn't interested, it kind of killed everything.
ForeverGIF by moodmanGiphy
"When my wife of 30+ years became too ill for sex to be even remotely interesting for her, I certainly did not end the relationship. I loved her and I took care of her until she died. No other course even occurred to me."
"When I met my wife we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. This lasted a few years. I was in my mid-twenties when we married. She developed a chronic medical issue. I’ve gone twenty years being sexually frustrated. There are stages and phases to this."
"What I came to realize is that I love my wife. Yes, sex is important in our relationship. But I would rather have her in my life with no sex than have sex without her."
"The thing is, I love her. She can’t help her situation. I can’t help it. One deals with it. Marriage is more than sex. It is building a life and memories, raising a family, and loving each other regardless of the challenges life throws our way. But sex is very important. It helps keep the closeness and the emotional bond. But it isn’t the only thing that does that."
I Love Her
"It is complicated. I am in a near-sexless marriage. The wife needs antidepressants to function. And it kills her libido. So usually it is four to six times a year. My libido rages. And yeah, it sucks. I dream of more sex."
"But I love the chick. She loves me to the moon and back. I’m not willing to sacrifice her love so I can try dating again. Divorce rates these days? And I found a woman who more than tolerates me, she loves me. I’ll stay. And not to be crude but yeah I masturbate. A lot. She doesn’t begrudge me that. Occasionally she even encourages it."
"She went off her meds for a while. And man did we do it. But she was a mess. I need her healthy more than I need a shag. We travel together. We enjoy each other’s company. We actually like each other. I could claim that it is hell, but I choose to see all of the good I am blessed with."
"Quite important. But I think it depends on where you are in the relationship. I've been married for 10 years. I have kids. If my wife suddenly couldn't have sex with me for some reason -- illness or injury or something -- I'm not divorcing her over it. That's heartless."
"Now, if she just decided we weren't ever having sex again because she didn't feel like it, that'd be different. Or if I was just starting to date someone and they told me they'd never have sex, I probably just wouldn't keep pursuing the relationship. Plenty of people out there who will."
"It depends on the circumstances. I LOVE doing it with my man but I love his heart and soul more. If we had to stop having sex for medical reasons or something I’d definitely stay with him and stay faithful. If I was single, I think it’s unlikely I’d start a new relationship knowing it would be sex free."
Heart and soul is just as necessary and hot and sweaty.
At least a lot of people recognize that.
"Sex life is 10% of a relationship when it’s good and 90% of a relationship when it’s bad."
"The other way I've heard it put is that sex is like the bathroom in your house. It's not the only reason you bought the house, but if it's not working it's a big problem."
"50-year-old here married for 27 years. It’s not important. It was important when we were younger but honestly, if sex wasn’t possible I would still love my wife and really nothing about our day would really change."
"I’ve been reading these comments and wishing that everyone’s age was flared on their post because I sense that there are a lot of under-60-year-olds. I am older than my wife but she is starting menopause and I can see the writing on the wall. Not super thrilled but I love her completely and understand. The real intimacy is in how we still (and will always) want to sleep touching each other and waking up next to each other."
"I honestly considered this before. I absolutely adored this guy. It was like a child relationship; we'd kiss and cuddle and hold hands and things, but he wouldn't have sex with me, nor would he commit properly. Any time we came close to sex, he'd go soft or back off."
"I couldn't understand it, wondered if I could keep doing that. My sex drive was wild. Why kiss and the rest but not sex?"
"Then one day he told me he was in love with me and asked me out properly. I said yes there and then, had a wonderful day with him, but when I went home, I was left questioning if I could possibly live without sex. I decided that yeah, I loved him but it would be tough."
"We had sex the next day. So yes, I think I probably could."
"It's very important. I'm a very affectionate and physical person and touch/caresses and anything physical is one of my love languages. I couldn't function with someone who is the opposite of me or who's uncomfortable with how I am. I already was in a relationship with someone who wasn't that touchy/affectionate and it created frustration for both of us."
Don't Look at Me
"I am in a sexless relationship. He has erectile dysfunction and I really don't like sex in general. I'm really uncomfortable naked or even vulnerable. I'm shy around him despite the relationship being 10 years nearly, I'm even shy around my family and friends. Everything about sex makes me feel so embarrassed, and I feel nothing but negative feelings when I used to be sexually active. Not through choice of partner, I just hate that sort of attention."
Definitive!Shake Handshake GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"10/10. Sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker!"
Sex is important but not everything.
Until it is everything if it becomes an issue.
Good luck couples. Open and honest communication is key.