Infatuation is a curious thing.
One moment, you can be swept up in major adoration for someone to such a degree that you can't stop thinking about them.
But the next moment, you may suddenly find yourself moving on.
What is it that drives someone to lose their lust for their former object of affection?
Curious to hear from strangers who experienced going from hot to cold in casual dating, Redditor Romeothanh asked:
"Men who suddenly lost your interest in someone but for a weird reason, what was it??"
Questionable behaviors were seen as major turn-offs.
Poor Parenting
"The way she treated her children, her boy was permitted everything and her daughter had to follow very strict rules."
"I didn't have to ask to know what was going on, the boy's real father wasn't her ex-husband but a guy she had an affair with at work, her daughter was really from her ex-husband. She was always resentful of her upbringing and then her marriage for impeding some kind of dreamed life she thought she was entitled to. So the boy was seen as a piece of that dream and the girl was a piece of her boring life but she was also reliving her childhood through her and pushing her to excel in sports, school and manners and reveling in her daughter's accomplishments as if they were hers."
– Telesto1087
Past Grievances
"She accused me of cheating on her in a past life."
"I told her 'I don’t remember that.'”
– Breloren
"Sounds like something someone who cheated in a past life would say!"
– thefirecrest
At Least She Washes Her Hands...
"She spat in her hands and rubbed them together because she 'needed to wash them.' I cannot describe the colossal speed at which that switch turned off."
– whitesebastian
"Was she some sort of 1930’s farm hand or construction worker?"
– valueduser
There were some serious red flags.
Schadenfreude
"A elderly gentlemen fell in front of us, he took a nasty fall."
"She found it hilarious, instead of helping she just stood there laughing. I helped that person out and I felt so embarrassed for her behavior."
"Also that was the last time I saw her. It was a major turn off for me."
– oxide-NL
Good Guy Vs. Bad Guy
"I invited the girl from my psych course I'd been vibing with to a party. Her car rolled up and I came out to greet her, but it was a dude's car, and she was drunkenly making out with him as I walked up. I didn't flip out or anything, but she slurred her way through some weird attempt at reassuring me that I shouldn't worry, 'cause she was only sleeping with him to punish him because he was a bad guy (apparently that's a thing she does), and that I was a good guy. I didn't ask what happened to good guys. I felt bad for her date, whom she completely ignored the rest of the night. As for the girl, she ended up totally engrossed with the party host's gerbil, tapping on the glass of its cage whispering how she wanted to kill it. I found somewhere new to sit in psych class for the rest of the semester."
– MissionofQorma
I'm Generous And You're Gonna Like It
"She kept buying me stuff. It was nice at first but she kept doing it weekly and demanded I give gifts in return. I asked her to stop and she said "nope this is what I do." Felt like she didn't even care about what I wanted."
– Dry-Enthusiasm3515
Easiest Breakup Ever
"It was a really horrible relationship even this aside but my 'wow i think i actually hate this person' moment was when we were at Badlands National Park. We were just walking out of the gift shop with some other woman when she just let go of the door and it like slammed into that womans face. I said to her 'omg im so sorry' then when we got to the car i said to my gf in like a joking tone 'i cant beliehe you didnt hold the door for her haha' and because she was a very very miserable person all the time this makes her mad and she goes 'well YOURE the man youre supposed to hold the door. I dont NEED to hold the door for anybody' and yeah that one statement alone was very... eye opening for me."
"Seriously the easiest least heartbreaking break up ive ever gone through."
– ILoveTikkaMasala
The Cat Recognized Evil
"My cat didn't like her."
"Brought her home to introduce her to my parents, she meets my childhood cat and. It. Goes. Psychotic. Just for her reaching down to pat him, he panicked, attached himself to her arm, and wouldn't let go, just clawing at her like he found a demon to fight or something. When he eventually detached himself (they were both running around the room screaming as she tried to wave him off her arm) I checked her over and he did some damage. He's never reacted like that to anyone before or since. We broke it off shortly later."
"I found out a few years ago she was in the court system. Why? She tried to kill her own kid. I didn't dodge a bullet because of my cat, I dodged an artillery shell."
– GryphonicOwl
It's not me, it's you.
So Rude
"She didn’t hold the door open to people just meeting her at the door, would let it slam on people behind her, didn’t do the little thank you wave to other cars that let her out, didn’t say please and thank you to serving staff. She wasn’t overtly rude, she just had a bit of a me,me,me vibe."
– Hellenicparadise
Norwegian Love
"She told me she was pregnant and it was mine, 2 days after sleeping with me for the first (and only) time. Then proceeded to tell me she had a boyfriend."
"I should have twigged earlier really. She flew from Norway to sleep with me and flew back the next day."
– Perseus73
Face Reveal
"I’d been talking to this girl in class I thought was really cool. We ended up going for a bite after class one day and she suggested we go hang out in my dorm room. Hell yeah."
"Then she took off her glasses and she looked exactly like my mom. It was so jarring I excused myself to the bathroom to regroup, but when I came back I couldn’t unsee my mom’s face on her."
"I made some lame excuse and went back alone. I felt bad about bailing on her but I also how the hell would I tell her the real reason? Either she thinks I’m a weirdo or thinks I’m saying she looks like she’s in her fifties."
– OneSmoothCactus
Don't Speak
"My mate ghosted a girl simply because he didn't like her cadence when she spoke."
– Random-chick-98
My shallowest moment was years ago when I ghosted a hot tennis player I was dating because he had a particularly annoying gait.
Anytime we would walk around the city (in New York), he would gradually lean into me and prevent us from walking a straight path.
I thought he was deliberately trying to get close but it turned out that one of his legs was shorter than the other resulting in him taking uneven steps.
When he explained his situation, it weirded me out.
I didn't have the heart to tell him why I could no longer see him, so I just stopped responding to his incessant messages about when we were meeting next.
I remain regretful to this day about my immature behavior, and I wish him the best wherever he is.
Reddit user No-Challenge-3305 asked:
"What's the stupidest double standard you ever heard from someone?"
My Time Vs. Your Time
"I had a production manager who would come in late and leave early most days and then make problems for anyone who needed a half day for anything."
~ TheGreatGrappaApe
Giphy"My first manager at my current job was a harda** about hours. Would basically say 'There's the door' if you asked to leave early or come in late, no matter how rare or needed the occurrence was."
"Always talked about how dedicated he was."
"Dude would roll in at 9:30 leave at 11:00 for lunch. Get back at 1:00 and go home at 3:00."
"He constantly talked about how he just LIVES at work... even though we were all there, and he had been seen at the golf course every day."
"One of the funniest moments was when our client was parked behind him, and needed my manager to move his truck to be able to leave, but said 'I'm not gonna ask him to move his truck, because I'm afraid he'll just leave'."
~ bcos4life
"Stealing" What He Gave Them?
"My uncle used to hire undocumented immigrants while complaining that illegal aliens were stealing people's jobs."
"He liked to hire them because they worked hard and were cheap."
~ ScrubIrrelevance
"So he himself was stealing other people’s jobs because it’s not like the illegal immigrants were able to make the decision to employ them instead of a US citizen or person with a visa."
~ CaptainObviousBear
Just For Me, Not For Thee
"'I want an open relationship to explore my sexuality, but I don't want you sleeping with anyone else'."
~ MamaPagan
"I didn't realize people actually said stuff like this until my most recent ex said it to me."
"I was baffled, to say the least."
~ Vetzero
GiphyThey Are "Those People"
"My mom had a problem with welfare recipients until my sibling went on it."
"Then, back to nasty welfare recipients when they got off welfare."
~ Eringobraugh2021
"My cousin is on multiple government programs, and counts the seconds until her 3 separate child support payments come in... then sh*ts on 'Deadbeats' all the time."
"She even bragged about using her EBT to get tattoos."
~ bcos4life
Boys Will Be Boys
"My ex believed that teen girls who fall pregnant while still in school should be expelled and not allowed to finish school at all."
"Sounded like he thought they were contagious or something."
"After a heavy argument I said 'OK fine then boys must also be expelled', but no apparently it's not the same thing."
~ boekieblaker21
Piety Not In Practice
"My aunt calls me a sl*t for wearing short skirts."
"She doesn't know who the father of two of her three children is."
~ Perfect_Patience1109
Giphy"When I was young, a relative used to constantly call me a 'whore' and accuse me of being pregnant, when I had never even had a boyfriend."
"Meanwhile, she was sleeping with someone else's husband."
~ haloarh
"Isn't that usually the way?"
"The one calling people names and pointing fingers is probably the most guilty."
"Hypocrites."
~ NoThanksJustLooking1
It's Only An Entitlement If Someone Else Gets It
"My FIL served in Vietnam. When he came home, he used the G.I. Bill to get a free college degree (in social work)."
"He didn't like being a social worker, so he spent much of his adult life working as an appliance salesman, an electrical supply salesman, or (for significant chunks of time) was unemployed."
"He owned a house and raised two kids."
"When he retired, his sole source of income was Social Security."
"He never paid a dime for medical care because of his VA benefits."
"He sold his house (that he paid like $65k for in the 70's) for a healthy profit, moved to Nevada, and settled into a retirement community."
"If you ask him, he'd happily tell you that 'the problem with this country is all the people and their damned entitlements. I don't know why people don't just get a job'."
~ Redditor
Cheat Codes
"My friend’s mom said Men cheating and women cheating are different because men only care about the physical and not the emotional."
"Come to find out, she was being cheated on by her current husband, and I am assuming this is how she coped."
~ Head-Roll6309
"The responses I got to being cheated on from coworkers were different. I was blamed by other people for not giving her what she needed so obviously she should go out and cheat to get those things."
"And I responded with 'Do you think the same about men cheating?'."
"'Of course not. Men cheat because they can't be trusted and will f'k anything they can. Women cheat because they are being mistreated by men and it's his fault she has to go out and do that'."
"Was a great comment to me, the panic attack filled person whose life was falling apart and entire world was destroyed by her cheating."
"I left that workplace pretty soon after those comments."
~ polorat12
TMI, Dude
"Dude I worked with felt I needed to know that he'd have to have a wife and a mistress because he didn't want someone who sucked his d*ck kissing the kids."
"And I was like 'have you considered maybe washing your d*ck better?'."
~ VinnyVincinny
"Really they can’t reconcile respecting someone they have sex with."
~ Zer_0
Consent Is For Everyone
"'He can't refuse sex. He's the man. The woman always decides when and where we have sex. Everybody knows that'."
"In marriage counseling, my ex-wife (while we were still married). She was serious, too."
~ Azzizzi
"My ex-wife would get visibly angry when I wasn't in the mood but she was."
"More than once I'd ask her like 'you know how messed up it would be if these roles were reversed, right? If I got mad at you for not being in the mood?'."
"And her response was just 'well, you're a guy'."
~ AutoDefenestrator273
"Ugh, it sucks that you went through that, and I'm sorry. The idea that men want sex all the time no matter what is so damaging."
"Everyone is allowed to not want sex, and I wish people would stop acting entitled to other people's bodies."
"Even when people aren't reacting with anger if a male partner turns down sex, this myth still causes real damage in relationships. I know both men and women who've expressed fears that they're broken or their relationship is somehow dying if the woman has a higher libido or even if the male partner turns down sex once."
"It's awful and I really wish people would stop buying into this idea."
~ VinnyVinnieVee
And Now For Something A Little Lighter...
After these serious topics, let's end on a lighter note.
Unless you're a cat.
Feline Fatitude
"I call my cat chubby all the time but as soon as someone else does it, I get so offended."
~ Green_Bench7560
"I also call my cat fat. He is not. I asked the vet."
"But I'd be super offended if he developed the ability to talk in English and then called me fat."
~ Dmahf0806
Giphy"Growing up, we had a cat who was a grand lady but she was kind of a chonk. Pleasingly chonky."
"We took her to the vet for a regular checkup and got a different than usual vet, who came in and said, 'Whoa, well let's look at this little porker!'."
"My parents and I all got mad instantly. We were allowed to joke about her weight. No one else was."
"That's the rule. Also 'porker' sounds so rude."
~ SageThistle
GiphyDouble standards are all around us.
Which ones do you find particularly foolish?
People Reveal The Most Hurtful Thing A Medical Professional's Said To Them
What happend to a bedside manner?
There is a quote from the legendary Dorothy Zbornak played by the incomparable Bea Arthur on 'The Golden Girls' where she confronts a doctor, who when she was in her greatest hour of need, told her to go to a hairdresser. She says to him -in a crowded restaurant- "I don't know where you doctors lose your humanity but you lose it. You know, if all of you in the beginning of your careers could get very sick and very scared for awhile, you'd probably learn more from that then anything else!" Mic. Drop.
Redditor u/slinkslowdown wanted medical folks out there to hear from a few former patients by asking the people of Reddit to share.... What is the most hurtful thing a medical professional has ever said to you? Who wants a Dorothy moment?
I have a mirror. Thanks.
I went to get an earache checked and the first thing the doctor said was "Yeah so I'm gonna put you on some medicine for the ear but we've gotta do something about your face, your acne is absolutely terrible."
Thanks doc. CasenW
Lead with truth. Lives depend on it!
Getting out of the army- you are 100% healthy. My medical record was about six inches thick. Went to a civilian doctor and they were astonished anyone would say that. I am rated 80% disabled. larrycorser
My mother and grandfather were both injured in the army. They will do everything in their power to claim that you are healthy, because if you are injured they pay your medical bills for life.
They tried to tell Grandpa that losing all of his teeth and having a crack down his forehead did not qualify him for a purple heart.
Insert cringy surprise at how this blew up here. Story: Grandpa was in a tank, and a tank shell bounced off his turret and slammed his head into the other side of the turret. The reason they did not want to recognize his injuries is because he pulled the teeth out himself (they were loose) and refused treatment on the skull fracture. AntifaAreFascists
Can you hear me Now?
When I was 16 and dealing with partial deafness: "Sometimes being a teenage girl is hard, but it's hard to parent them too so there's no need to exaggerate things to make things harder for your parents. Knock it off, there's nothing wrong with you."
Two tumors, 9 surgeries, and a CSF leak later, yes doctor. There really was something wrong. ur_tears_r_tasty
Shake it Off!
You can't be in that much pain. You must have more energy than that. Turns out the lining of my nerves was being destroyed. I was becoming paralyzed, painfully. whyamisoawesome9
MS? My wife was finally diagnosed with that. Took several years and several Drs. If it is MS, or really anything else, then I hope whatever medication you're able to get helps prevent any further progression - best of luck and best wishes! IchthysdeKilt
Let's talk about your ears?!
"It's all between your ears" after missing at least one, but probably two crippling vitamin deficiencies by not ordering the right test. It took me two and a half years of thinking I was lazy and pathetic before I went to another doctor and got diagnosed. Zoefschildpad
But you're so young!
"I just don't know how you could be in so much pain being so young, I'm not going to be able to write you a prescription."
My response was, "You're a dips**t; I came in because I was hurt at work, doing heavy construction." I never asked for a prescription in the first place, I had assumed I was vetting an xray to see if I had broken anything. Lord_Stag
Walking is the Elixir!
You have no idea! I was in an auto accident when I was 14 but the doctors refused to do surgery to fix the issue because I was still growing. A few years later everything acted up and I ended up desperately needing that surgery. Afterwards I still had significant pain because my nerves were all screwed up because the issue had been left for so long. Every doctor I saw about it told me to "walk it off" and refused to give me any pain medication just because I was 19 at the time. I tried other stuff for a few years until finally, at 23, finding a doctor who took me seriously. IcedMercury
Bless you Miss Jeannie...
Wasn't said to me, but someone I knew. I work at a hospital, so does my mother. We had a forty-three year old woman who had a very rare form of cancer that spread incredibly fast to just about everywhere in her body. From diagnosis to death was about twelve weeks. The medications and therapies and the general lack of mobility caused her to become swollen and obese. She was a terribly sweet lady.
They took her down to Radiology for a scan and the technician made a bunch of really mean comments about her weight because she was too large for our machines so they had to arrange for a transfer to another hospital for her scans and then have her transferred back. The technician thought that because Miss Jeannie was dying and sick that she was deaf or didn't understand English any longer, and so while they were alone she made so many mean comments. Miss Jeannie waited until she was back in her room waiting for her transfer before she started crying. I'll never understand people who feel the need to make others feel less than or badly. carmelacorleone
No Words...
No me but my mom is a nurse. One of her patients got shot in the foot holding a door closed in a school shooting. He was back in the hospital because he got an infection after surgery. Doc walks in and goes "so I hope you learned your lesson about playing with guns." anoll69
Size Matters! The End.
I went to get a lump on my groin checked out, and had to remove my underpants. The doctor started a whole speech about "size isn't everything," which isn't what I went there for. stooble
Defibrillate this!
Not psychologically hurtful necessarily, but the most terrifying thing I've ever been told...
"We're going to have to defibrillate you and we don't have time to sedate you."
They rolled the crash cart with paddles into my room and I said "Get that thing the hell away from me!" and almost cried. My mom was in the room with me and was absolutely hysterical.
Thankfully a cardiologist was able to look at my EKG in the nick of time and determined my heart rhythm was stable enough for me to just be transferred to a room for further evaluation without defibrillation. HorseMeatSandwich
Well you're no prize Sir.
When I was 21 I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor asks me to lift my shirt and I do. He immediately says "egh" and makes a look of disgust on his face. I was an idiot and was gaining weight too quickly, due to this I had stretch marks. I've lost the weight and am normal weight now but I still can't shake that moment. This was 8 years ago. Reddit
Don't strike a pose...
I started going to a dentist that had come highly recommended by a few different people. When I asked him about the possibility of straightening my front teeth, he said "Well, you'll never be on the cover of Vogue, but I think we can help you out."
I stopped going to him a few appointments later when he got mad at me for telling him that the filling he did months ago still really hurt. Jollyville
Boys & Their Boobs...
"What are you going to do if your boyfriend would rather you had bigger boobs?" - said by the doctor to 15 year old me. I was getting a consultation for a breast reduction, because sporting G-cup was a nightmare. Still got it. No regrets. thekeyboardhero
NO ice cream for you Miss....
Me, when I was nine, about to go under anesthesia for the first time ever for oral surgery, and being extremely scared.
Nurse: You need to grow up. I've had kids half your age not be as much a scaredy-cat as you.
My mother was not, by any means, a helicopter parent.. .but the thrashing she gave that nurse, the other nurse who chuckled at it, and the doctor who came in was insane. And then she took me out of that office (the surgery was not a time-sensitive thing, just to fix a soon to be impacted adult tooth) and for ice cream. I had the surgery done at a different office with a staff that had far better bed-side manners. WalkerBRiley
Well Death it is!
Doc: "I can tell you're incredibly sick by your skin"
Me: (looks in the mirror) "oh no I always look like this"
Doc: "no it's grey and sallow and the heavy dark circles under your eyes; you look clearly very unwell"
Me: "really, I swear I aiways look like this without make up"
I really did look exactly how I do on a daily basis. Apparently deathly. BrassLabradors
Want a punch in the face?!
"You're 19, you shouldn't be having problems with anxiety!" MrSonicOSG
A Lack of Trust...
What chronic illness are we sick with today?
I was 12 years old. Puberty was kicking my butt. I was depressed and constantly sick because my home life was in shambles. But my mother dressed nice and was a well known figure in the community, so I was faking the illnesses I guess. Anytime a kid acts out for attention, I pay attention because it means something is going on. But that doctor just shamed me into the pit of despair. I've had trouble trusting any medical professional since. americanskux
I am who I am....
New doctor took my height measurement and jots it down before issuing me a very casual.
"Huh, tall for a woman."
I am a bearded man. MrBitchin
How about I sit on you Doc?
He said I should be happy carrying around a bit of weight.. Because in drought the fattest cows die last.... Seriously wtf. jezabelsoni
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