Reddit user Ok_Way_2341 asked:
"As a child, what’s a song you sang loud and proud, only to find as an adult it’s super inappropriate for a child to be singing?"
His Purple Majesty 👑
"'Gett Off' by Prince. My mother heard me sing '21 positions in a one night stand' and took the disc off me."
"It unfortunately belonged to my older sister."
"Got punished twice in one week."
"I still love that song."
- Cherrianje
Giphy"I was very very very old before I realized what 'Little Red Corvette' was about. Like mid-century old."
- Street_Roof_7915
"She had a pocket full of horses..."
- heatherbyism
"Trojan and some of them used…"
- Ferraenz
"I guess I should've closed my eyes, When you drove me to the place where your horses run free, 'Cause I felt a little ill when I saw all the pictures, Of the jockeys that were there before me."
- heatherbyism
"That line was so confusing to me as a kid."
"Toy plastic horses, maybe?"
- absentbusiness
GiphyMaybe not on that car ride.
"In the car, riding shotgun with my dad driving… 'I’ll make love to you, like you want me tooooo' - Boyz II Men."
- ADrunkenBotanist
"That’s in that weird intersection of 90s R&B that was tender and not necessarily nasty, but still definitely about sex.
"And sometimes, the songs were nasty, but if they were smooth, you could get away with it. 'Freek’n You' by Jodeci and 'Too Close' by Next come to mind."
- bearded_dragon_34
Who was it?
"'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy"
- AnimeTattooChick1836
"My classmate told me when she was younger she thought it went 'we were both butt-naked, banging on the bathroom door'."
"Seems a little strange that she didn't question the fact that they were naked, but yeah."
- No_Location854
"Oh no, I still thought it was floor."
"But for some reason my innocent little brain legit imagined just two naked people on their knees banging their fists on the actual floor."
"Ahhh simpler times."
- mikehawksux
GiphyMmmm... candy.
"The particular song that mentions 'I'll take you to the candy shop and let you lick my lollipop' left me completely unaware of its underlying meaning back then, as I blissfully enjoyed its melody."
- dimarikl
"That song is 'Candy Shop' by 50 Cent."
- Zcoombs4
We blame Austin Powers.
"'I Touch Myself' by Divinyls"
“I don’t want anybody else. When I think about you I touch myself.”
- Sorry_Rhubarb_7068
"I still remember the day my early 20’s self figured it out, that holy crap! moment."
- MyOldGurpsNameKira
"I figured it out when I was 14."
"To be fair, that’s a major hobby of pretty well all 14-year-old kids."
- dagbrown
Giphy"I forget what year that song came out, but I think I was around 15 when it did. (so about 1990, I guess?) I remember getting what it was about, but thinking I had to be wrong because it'd be 'illegal' for someone to release a song like that, so it must be about something else and I'm just too dumb to understand what it's really about."
"I had this weird idea as a kid that I was only one of the people on the planet who knew what sex was, so I assumed almost everything sexual related was an accident (as in, they didn't mean to make it sound like it's about sex) and it was actually about something else and I was too dumb to understand the true meaning."
"I actually made up a number once of people who knew what sex was and that number was 7. I thought myself + 6 other people on the entire planet knew what sex was."
"I honest to God thought this, by the way. I never stopped and wondered where all these kids came from if only 7 people knew what sex was."
- temalyen
Mini Monster
"My 11 year-old, completely innocent niece: 'let's have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick' [from 'Love Game' by Lady Gaga]."
"Me: 'Let's play a different song'."
- 314159265358979326
"Skyrockets in flight" wasn't about NASA?
"Apparently 'Afternoon Delight' [by Starland Vocal Band] wasn’t about getting out of school."
"I did not know that."
- HuellMissMe
Giphy"My mum told me it meant having cake in the afternoon, which made perfect sense to me because that IS delightful."
- HelpfulName
"My aunt told us 'Afternoon Delight' was about going to get ice cream. 🙃"
- Truecrimeauthor
"I thought it was about a picnic!"
- MoonLoony
"I thought it was about a picnic too!"
"In 3rd grade we were each allowed to bring in our favorite record and play it for the class."
"That’s the one I brought."
- _ThisIsOurLifeNow_
GiphyIgnorance is bliss.
"My friend's daughter used to loudly sing Katy Perry 'Peacock'."
"Literally Everyone: 'Ummm...'."
"Friend: 'It's a song about a bird, and you will not say otherwise'."
- domestic_omnom
Got milk?
"'My Humps' - Black Eyed Peas"
"Apparently they were not just talking about milk and Cocoa Puffs."
- happygolucky226
"No, that's that 'Milkshake' song [by Kelis]."
"She makes really good milkshakes, right?"
- CatOfGrey
Giphy"My cousin (4 at the time) loved singing the 'Milkshake' song."
"Then she and her sister were gently told not to sing it so they moved onto 'My Humps'!"
"I couldn’t bear hearing about lovely lady lumps, so I tried to find another song more appropriate."
"They settled on another Peas one 'Shut Up!'."
"Slightly more tolerable I guess, but there was no telling the girls to shut up because they’d just start repeating it back in song at you."
- 3rdslip
GiphyBut Uncle Luke was so subtle...
"'Me So Horny' by 2 Live Crew."
"My Dad once said 'It’s your mom’s favorite song'."
"Thanks Dad."
- Geriatric_Sloth
"When I was a kid, my little brother came into the room singing [from 'We Want Some P***y' by 2 Live Crew] 'Just nibble on my d*ck like a rat does cheese'."
"My mom in outrage said, 'what did you say!'"
"He calmly looked at her and spoke confidently, 'All I said was just nibble on my d*ck like a rat does cheese'."
"He was like 4 or 5 years old, that tape [Is What We Are by 2 Live Crew] was confiscated immediately."
- Tweedbreak
Uncle Luke of 2 Live Crew
GiphyAnd now for something completely different...
"In about 3rd or 4th grade I came home from playing at a friends house…said friend had been singing some weird song that got stuck in my head."
"So I stroll in and take my seat at the dinner table and start singing as loud as I can: 'Sit on my face and tell me that you love me! I’ll sit on your face and tell you that I love you too!!'…my parents damn near choked."
"They couldn’t stop laughing and then told me never ever to sing that again. Luckily they were huge Monty Python fans…nothing I knew about at the time."
- roygbiv_87
*WARNING: NSFW*
Ah, to be young and innocent again.
Did you learn anything new about what a song really means?
Or did you sing something as a child that didn't make the list?
Share your story in the comments.
"What's an unspoken rule on a first date?"
EyeContact, And Not With Your Screen...
"Your phone is not part of the date."- Wonderful-Note9289
"Don't be on your phone the whole time."
"And don't talk about your ex."- HoW-LoNg-DoCtOR-YES
Think Very Carefully Before That Second Round
"Don’t drink too much."- drivethruhell
"Had a date like this."
"Within the first 90 minutes they had taken like three shots, and were on their third drink."
"I understand wanting to calm your nerves, but damn."
"The whole 'you need to play catch up LOL' isn't as cute as you think it is."
"We did not go on any other dates."- mothershipq
Drink GIFGiphyThere Is no Scent More Intoxicating Than Your Own...
"Have a shower beforehand."- Porriz
"And take it easy with the perfume/cologne."
Your date shouldn't smell you before they see you."- imnotlouise
No One Likes A Moocher...
"Don't order any extras plates to eat at home with your mom when the other is paying."- lil_wavey999
Always Be On The Same Page...
"Both should know it is a date."- mosquitohater2023
"I met a woman at an out of town festival through a friend of mine that she was hooking up with."
"She ended up taking too many shrooms and I spent an hour with her helping her to feel calmer."
"She is a traveling nurse and was going to be in my city in a few weeks so we exchange numbers and when she gets in town she asked if I want to get some sushi."
"Happy to make a new friend, we meet up, talk a lot about my friend that she’s hooking up with telling funny stories about him."
"Eventually it comes up that I’m leaving the next day for a 3 week trip to Europe with my girlfriend and she screams, 'I thought this was a f*cking date!'"
"Reeeeaaallly awkward."- redmoskeeto
Dating Wtf GIF by MaxGiphyBe Open And Transparent...
"Not a rule but never make the other person carry the conversation."
"You're both here to make an effort and give each other the respect."
"If you both want different things then let it be said after."
"No need to hurt someone's self-respect for your ego."- Arkjump
"Be there with honest intentions and nothing else."- S-Vagus
Or At Least Be Willing To Share
"Don’t order 3 full meals."- WinkMartindale
"AND expecting him to pay for all of it."
"I mean sure if you want to take some home for your mom, you pay for that yourself."- Widowhawk·
GiphyBe Prepared For A Lack Of Shared Interests...
"Leave the coin collection at home, wow her with that on the second date."- IronLion11·
Choose Your Activities Carefully
"Don't go to the movies or a fancy dinner on your first date if you don't already know this person."
"The movies is a place where you sit in silence for 2 hours staring straight ahead."
"That does not give you any opportunity to get to know the other person."
"A sit down dinner can be perfectly fine, but if you know within the first 10 minutes that you have no desire to spend any more time in this person's presence, you're stuck through the rest of the meal."
"First dates should always be intentionally short with an option to extend."
"Coffee, froyo, drinks, things that can turn into an hour of talking or 'would you like to grab a bite to eat?'"- baltinerdist
Get Your Emotions Under Control
"Don't excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and then accidentally think about your ex while in there, have to fight back tears, and then come back to the table after way too long, with puffy red eyes."
"Whoops." - Reddit
Sad That 70S Show GIF by LaffGiphyJust Be Open And Honest... To an Extent...
"Don't: Unload on your date about your trauma."
"Gotta keep that sh*t under wraps until at least date 5."
"Do: Be yourself, unless your whole personality teeters on your traumatic history--in that case, self-deprecating humor will suffice until you can successfully abandon all hope and sit in your car for an hour to cry afterward."-Deep-Essay-4829
A Conversation Is A Two-Way Street
"Usually when asked a question I’d answer it and then hit her with a 'what about you?'"
"To ensure that I wasn’t dominating the convo."
"Let the other person speak."- bumboclawt
... NOPE...
"Bring an egg, uncooked, in your pocket."
"Casually let it fall out at the end of the date."
"This establishes you as a breadwinner, who else has the money to just carry eggs around in their pockets?"
"When your date, inevitably, wants to know more about the egg just shrug it off."
"You're not here to brag, your egg does that for you."- wearywarrior
Broken Heart Love GIF by Share It AgainGiphyIf there is one rule absolutely everyone should follow when going on a first date, it's not being beholden to rules, spoken or unspoken.
After all, the best romances are often the ones which happen organically.
Love cannot be forced.
People Reveal The Most Hurtful Thing A Medical Professional's Said To Them
What happend to a bedside manner?
There is a quote from the legendary Dorothy Zbornak played by the incomparable Bea Arthur on 'The Golden Girls' where she confronts a doctor, who when she was in her greatest hour of need, told her to go to a hairdresser. She says to him -in a crowded restaurant- "I don't know where you doctors lose your humanity but you lose it. You know, if all of you in the beginning of your careers could get very sick and very scared for awhile, you'd probably learn more from that then anything else!" Mic. Drop.
Redditor u/slinkslowdown wanted medical folks out there to hear from a few former patients by asking the people of Reddit to share.... What is the most hurtful thing a medical professional has ever said to you? Who wants a Dorothy moment?
I have a mirror. Thanks.
I went to get an earache checked and the first thing the doctor said was "Yeah so I'm gonna put you on some medicine for the ear but we've gotta do something about your face, your acne is absolutely terrible."
Thanks doc. CasenW
Lead with truth. Lives depend on it!
Getting out of the army- you are 100% healthy. My medical record was about six inches thick. Went to a civilian doctor and they were astonished anyone would say that. I am rated 80% disabled. larrycorser
My mother and grandfather were both injured in the army. They will do everything in their power to claim that you are healthy, because if you are injured they pay your medical bills for life.
They tried to tell Grandpa that losing all of his teeth and having a crack down his forehead did not qualify him for a purple heart.
Insert cringy surprise at how this blew up here. Story: Grandpa was in a tank, and a tank shell bounced off his turret and slammed his head into the other side of the turret. The reason they did not want to recognize his injuries is because he pulled the teeth out himself (they were loose) and refused treatment on the skull fracture. AntifaAreFascists
Can you hear me Now?
When I was 16 and dealing with partial deafness: "Sometimes being a teenage girl is hard, but it's hard to parent them too so there's no need to exaggerate things to make things harder for your parents. Knock it off, there's nothing wrong with you."
Two tumors, 9 surgeries, and a CSF leak later, yes doctor. There really was something wrong. ur_tears_r_tasty
Shake it Off!
You can't be in that much pain. You must have more energy than that. Turns out the lining of my nerves was being destroyed. I was becoming paralyzed, painfully. whyamisoawesome9
MS? My wife was finally diagnosed with that. Took several years and several Drs. If it is MS, or really anything else, then I hope whatever medication you're able to get helps prevent any further progression - best of luck and best wishes! IchthysdeKilt
Let's talk about your ears?!
"It's all between your ears" after missing at least one, but probably two crippling vitamin deficiencies by not ordering the right test. It took me two and a half years of thinking I was lazy and pathetic before I went to another doctor and got diagnosed. Zoefschildpad
But you're so young!
"I just don't know how you could be in so much pain being so young, I'm not going to be able to write you a prescription."
My response was, "You're a dips**t; I came in because I was hurt at work, doing heavy construction." I never asked for a prescription in the first place, I had assumed I was vetting an xray to see if I had broken anything. Lord_Stag
Walking is the Elixir!
You have no idea! I was in an auto accident when I was 14 but the doctors refused to do surgery to fix the issue because I was still growing. A few years later everything acted up and I ended up desperately needing that surgery. Afterwards I still had significant pain because my nerves were all screwed up because the issue had been left for so long. Every doctor I saw about it told me to "walk it off" and refused to give me any pain medication just because I was 19 at the time. I tried other stuff for a few years until finally, at 23, finding a doctor who took me seriously. IcedMercury
Bless you Miss Jeannie...
Wasn't said to me, but someone I knew. I work at a hospital, so does my mother. We had a forty-three year old woman who had a very rare form of cancer that spread incredibly fast to just about everywhere in her body. From diagnosis to death was about twelve weeks. The medications and therapies and the general lack of mobility caused her to become swollen and obese. She was a terribly sweet lady.
They took her down to Radiology for a scan and the technician made a bunch of really mean comments about her weight because she was too large for our machines so they had to arrange for a transfer to another hospital for her scans and then have her transferred back. The technician thought that because Miss Jeannie was dying and sick that she was deaf or didn't understand English any longer, and so while they were alone she made so many mean comments. Miss Jeannie waited until she was back in her room waiting for her transfer before she started crying. I'll never understand people who feel the need to make others feel less than or badly. carmelacorleone
No Words...
No me but my mom is a nurse. One of her patients got shot in the foot holding a door closed in a school shooting. He was back in the hospital because he got an infection after surgery. Doc walks in and goes "so I hope you learned your lesson about playing with guns." anoll69
Size Matters! The End.
I went to get a lump on my groin checked out, and had to remove my underpants. The doctor started a whole speech about "size isn't everything," which isn't what I went there for. stooble
Defibrillate this!
Not psychologically hurtful necessarily, but the most terrifying thing I've ever been told...
"We're going to have to defibrillate you and we don't have time to sedate you."
They rolled the crash cart with paddles into my room and I said "Get that thing the hell away from me!" and almost cried. My mom was in the room with me and was absolutely hysterical.
Thankfully a cardiologist was able to look at my EKG in the nick of time and determined my heart rhythm was stable enough for me to just be transferred to a room for further evaluation without defibrillation. HorseMeatSandwich
Well you're no prize Sir.
When I was 21 I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor asks me to lift my shirt and I do. He immediately says "egh" and makes a look of disgust on his face. I was an idiot and was gaining weight too quickly, due to this I had stretch marks. I've lost the weight and am normal weight now but I still can't shake that moment. This was 8 years ago. Reddit
Don't strike a pose...
I started going to a dentist that had come highly recommended by a few different people. When I asked him about the possibility of straightening my front teeth, he said "Well, you'll never be on the cover of Vogue, but I think we can help you out."
I stopped going to him a few appointments later when he got mad at me for telling him that the filling he did months ago still really hurt. Jollyville
Boys & Their Boobs...
"What are you going to do if your boyfriend would rather you had bigger boobs?" - said by the doctor to 15 year old me. I was getting a consultation for a breast reduction, because sporting G-cup was a nightmare. Still got it. No regrets. thekeyboardhero
NO ice cream for you Miss....
Me, when I was nine, about to go under anesthesia for the first time ever for oral surgery, and being extremely scared.
Nurse: You need to grow up. I've had kids half your age not be as much a scaredy-cat as you.
My mother was not, by any means, a helicopter parent.. .but the thrashing she gave that nurse, the other nurse who chuckled at it, and the doctor who came in was insane. And then she took me out of that office (the surgery was not a time-sensitive thing, just to fix a soon to be impacted adult tooth) and for ice cream. I had the surgery done at a different office with a staff that had far better bed-side manners. WalkerBRiley
Well Death it is!
Doc: "I can tell you're incredibly sick by your skin"
Me: (looks in the mirror) "oh no I always look like this"
Doc: "no it's grey and sallow and the heavy dark circles under your eyes; you look clearly very unwell"
Me: "really, I swear I aiways look like this without make up"
I really did look exactly how I do on a daily basis. Apparently deathly. BrassLabradors
Want a punch in the face?!
"You're 19, you shouldn't be having problems with anxiety!" MrSonicOSG
A Lack of Trust...
What chronic illness are we sick with today?
I was 12 years old. Puberty was kicking my butt. I was depressed and constantly sick because my home life was in shambles. But my mother dressed nice and was a well known figure in the community, so I was faking the illnesses I guess. Anytime a kid acts out for attention, I pay attention because it means something is going on. But that doctor just shamed me into the pit of despair. I've had trouble trusting any medical professional since. americanskux
I am who I am....
New doctor took my height measurement and jots it down before issuing me a very casual.
"Huh, tall for a woman."
I am a bearded man. MrBitchin
How about I sit on you Doc?
He said I should be happy carrying around a bit of weight.. Because in drought the fattest cows die last.... Seriously wtf. jezabelsoni
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