
Pull up your seats, folks. I'm about to take you on a magical journey of medical f*ckery the likes of which only Reddit could bring you.
Yeah, it's like that.
Reddit user moboyd1_ asked:
Medical professionals of Reddit, what's the most obvious case of faking it you've witnessed?
Now, normally this is the point in the article where I briefly relay a kind of related story. And I'm going to do that, but I'm going to need you guys to just agree to roll with me because it's a doozy. My story isn't about faking it coming from a patient - it came from other medical professionals and there's a whole active case about it now.
Early in my days as a writer, when I was still a lil baby wordsmith, I had a job working for a social media company. Or so I thought. Turns out haha, nope! I work for a maniacal narcissistic, very short, stereotypical evil villain doctor. The doctor opened a medical training company, and then a second one to create competition for himself, then a web development company, and a social media company, aaand a day spa. Yes, a day spa.
Roll with me here, people, the scheme is lengthy.
The owner opened a "medical training school" to train other doctors on how to do minor procedures like botox , liposculpture, and fillers. They taught (some classes) with hands-on training, using real product. Sometimes. The owner would absolutely water-down the product and a lot of times they would "run out of time" so only a few of the students would be able to do any hands-on work. The training company was, in no way, accredited. It was a useless certificate and everyone knew it. Doctors hesitated to continue buying these classes, which the owner sold for thousands of dollars. In response, the owner created another company as "competition" for himself to prove to his clients that it was a real thing. That worked for a while, but the doctors got suspicious again.
Not a problem! The owner would direct them to this day spa, where he claimed to have trained all the employees. They were his perfect glossy model of success! In reality the spa was a total waste that never booked more than 3 clients a week.
The day spa employees would talk about how great everything was, and how much the training helped them feel solid. Then during idle chit-chat they would talk about how things like defining their image and having a good location also helped them stay busy, but honestly it was totally Facebook that really made things boom.
The doctors, not having any suspicion that a medical training company would have anything to do with a day spa's Facebook page, would ask for recommendations. They would then go to the social media company. The social media company would build their Facebook, manage their Instagram, etc. After a few months the social media company would casually mention how much more effective this would all be with a website. The doctors would ask if they could recommend anyone, and of course the social media person totally has a friend who builds websites and just built one for a doctor not that long ago! The doctor would think it was destiny or something, and go build a website with the company they recommend.
These doctors had no idea they just bought bogus training, heard a bogus success story, paid thousands for a social media company, then a website and all that money went to the same man, who they never saw. The reason they never saw him is because he had a hair-trigger temper and would scream at, threaten, and throw chairs at people. He was bad for his own business, so his wife kept him behind the curtain as much as she could.
The low level employees didn't know it at first either, but it never took long before the truth came out because we got asked to do insane things. Each of us had at least 3 alternate personalities with email addresses and phone lines, we were often asked to leave fake reviews, that sort of stuff. Some of the older employees had a game, every Monday they would gather around to read the new reviews on sites like RipOffReport. Business was shady, wrong, but not MAJOR... right?
Then it came out that the doctors who had been doing the training were never real doctors to begin with. One guy was an accountant with a mullet!
There was no way they could keep the ruse going for long, but no amount of reporting or bad reviews has been able to sink this company, but every single training weekend I would end up with literal hours of voicemails from medical professionals complaining that this was the most obviously fake training they've ever attended. Obviously I didn't last long once the truth all came out. All I wanted was to write some sassy social media posts and get paid for it; not be part of a multinational medical fraud scheme. Yes, we reported - along with a whole bunch of other people.
This company is still in operation and has been open for over a decade. It "trains" doctors all around the world. Careful where you get your Botox, fam.
Now... the answers from Reddit users involve a lot less billion-dollar-business-scams, but that doesn't mean they're any less interesting or hilarious. Pro tip: Blind people don't drive.
Just Listen
Getting pages that patients state they are in indescribable agony and screaming nonstop, then going outside their room and listening a bit while they joke and laugh with their family... only for them to start screaming again as soon as I walk in the room
Blind Driver
We have a patient at our primary care clinic who claims to be blind. He always comes in with sunglasses and a white cane. We were always suspicious though. Something definitely seemed off.
One day someone followed him out of the building. He walked through our nearly empty parking lot, and down the street a little ways to a car parked out of view of the clinic. He folded up his cane, got into the driver's seat, merged into traffic and drove away.
Water
I had a woman come into triage in labor and delivery. We ruled her out for breaking her water. She was pissed that she wasn't going to get induced and be delivered. So after I left the room she flooded the bed, the floor and herself with tap water. Literally gallons and gallons of water, it was leaking out from under the door. SOO much water - It was like that scene in Coneheads. She said it was her water breaking.
Again, we quickly ruled her out and told her she needed to go home. She subsequently peed the bed before leaving.
Geological Origin
My mom had a patient who said she had passed kidney stones at home and needed painkillers. The lady actually brought in the kidney stones as proof. Patients don't usually do this, and the stones were way bigger than people can pass on their own. My mom sent them to the lab and they came back as "geological origin."
Crazy lady picked up small stones from outside to try and get meds.
Gotta Pay Your Bill First
Called to a bar for a seizure. Waitress says she delivered his bill and he suddenly went to the floor having a seizure. Look over at him, and he's laying there flopping his arms and Legs around, as he looks is right in the eye and screams over and over "I'm having a seizure!!"
We tell him to stand up so we can take him to the ambulance. He does and starts walking to the door. We tell him to hold up, gotta pay your bill first. Man, was he pissed at us. Waitress tells us he does this all the time. Well, not today. He still took a ride to the hospital though. The hospital has good egg salad sandwiches.
The Big E
I commonly have young kids who really want glasses because some of their friends have them. They'll come in acting like they can barely see the big E on the chart. I change some lenses in front of their eyes, give them a little encouragement that they can see better, and they can magically read 20/20 with little to no prescription. They're not big fans when I tell them they don't really need glasses.
Amnesia
Had a prisoner once that was faking full amnesia including name. I told him there was a nerve in his ear that if he put his finger in his ear and couldn't remember his name that he was for sure faking because it even worked with severe dementia. Finger in ear... remembered name; finger out of ear... cant' remember who he was. Instant discharge back to jail.
Vicodin Works
When they told me they were allergic to Tylenol (acetaminophen) but Vicodin works really well for them.
- shawnr80
Throat Tube
Not a medical professional but work security in an ER, once had a guy come in, announce that he was going to have a seizure, then laid down slowly and comfortably in the floor and didn't start "seizing" until he was sure everyone was looking at him, then when the nurse (who knew he was obviously faking) said they were going to have to run a tube down his throat he was suddenly fine.
Throwing Things At A "Blind" Child
Pediatrician here so my patient was younger (and I think influenced by Mom)
This 13 year old kept getting admitted for complaints that never made sense. Lack of smell. Dizziness. "Seizures" that would happen while he was walking/running. Heart felt hot, etc. Every specialist under the sun had seen him and cleared him. He had every test and imaging study you could think of.
There was a lot of social stuff going on and this was a hard family to discharge. He'd get admitted, we'd run a hundred tests and as soon as we were about to discharge him, some new symptom would come up. The worst was once after I had already written the discharge orders and the nurses called to let me know the patient had gone blind.
I was grouchy that day and wasn't having it.
I went in with a rolled up piece of paper. I checked his pupils. I used a Snellen. I went through the whole rigmarole. Then when I was talking to his mother, without looking I threw the paper at him hard and fast. He yelped and dodged it. I told Mom that they were going home.
To be honest I still feel a little guilty about it, and don't know what the right thing to do was.
- sjwilli
June is a happy and exciting month for the LGBTQ+ community, being Pride Month.
Where people can proudly celebrate who they are and who they love.
And the crowds at these events seem to only grow bigger every year, as more and more LGBTQ+ allies also partake in the celebration.
Some of these allies might be late to the party, as it were, owing to the fact that they once held homophobic views, and only recently became more educated and changed their minds.
Redditor aestheticbear was curious what exactly it was that led former homophobes to change their previous views, leading them to ask:
"Former homophobic people of Reddit: what happened that made you stop being homophobic?"
It was what they were taught.
"Like many here, I grew up around people where homophobia was the norm."
"I come from a Latino, Mexican, background and I'm really ashamed of how much homophobia/hate in general there is in our culture."
"Since most Mexicans are Catholic, I grew up around the church a lot, especially since my father had once been a Catholic priest, long story."
"Growing up, and to this day, I was surrounded by lots of hate towards the LGTBQ+ community."
"My parents would often make remarks making queer people seem almost as if they were crazy."
"They would often say that they were crazy for wanting 'gay rights' and even saying 'yuck' if they saw a movie scene where 2 people of the same sex where kissing."
"As a kid, I was sort of brain washed into all of this."
"As I grew older, I learned more about the world around me especially learning from friends who had come out."
"I especially owe a lot to a teacher of mine who had opened my eyes up to many issues of our world."
"Now I'm a proud pansexual."- davvaz62
By simply getting to know them.
"I met some gay people."
"As it turns out they were just people"- moolord
By witnessing unjustified judgment.
"Not homophobic, but I woke up at about 10 when my mom said my uncle was banned from coming to our vacation condo by my father because he was gay."
"Before then I kind of let the arguments and both sides bit wash over me, but that was a crystallization point where I started noticing it as pure bigotry."
"I'm sorry the nicest dude in the family full of domestic violence and white collar drug abusers cant come to Christmas because he's gay?"
"You're both cheating on each other, sanctity of what marriage now?"- Robin_games
My mother knocked some sense into me
"My mom slapped me and told me everyone has a right to be happy."
"That was in 9th grade 13 years ago."- Bloodllust
Growing up
"Homophobia was the norm when I was growing up."
"Then I got older and the political landscape changed which made me question my belief and I came to the conclusion it just didn't make any sense to be homophobic."- LuciferIsFallen
"Realized that, fundamentally, being gay is just 'what' you are. It’s not 'who' you are."
Self-discovery
"I came out as gay."- pethal
"Stopped listening to my homophobic family and left their religion."
"Oh and also realized I myself was pretty gay."- Raidden
Just one moment of clarity
"I wasn't super homophobic, just a 'love the sinner, hate the sin' kind of guy."
"On my last day in high school, someone said 'Why do I care? They're not hurting me'."
"Cured me in three seconds."
"I still remember how magical that moment was for me."- Dirgonite
Re-evaluating religion
"There are 20 years between myself and my youngest brother."
"I, and my SO, was raised in an explicitly homophobic/biphobic/transphobic fundamentalist religion, that I left with my SO in my early 20s.
"So I had a lot of internalized, conditioned, toxic beliefs about the LGBTQ that needed to be deconstructed."
"My little brother was obviously either gay or bi and it was obvious from the time he was six imho."
"He came out to my sisters, SO, and I as bi when he was 11 and we were like 'tell us something we don't know lol'."
"I think watching him just grow up, it was obvious that he hadn't chosen to be that way, it was just how he was."
"This false narrative that LGBTQ are somehow defective or sinners became more disgusting to me over time."
"I can't remember exactly when it happened but my SO and I were like 'if our future child happened to be LGBTQ, could we teach that child the things we were taught about the LGBTQ?'"
"'We were like 'no, that would be evil'."
"Now, we have an 18yo niece that recently came out as lesbian and we feel honored to be the only family that she trusts enough to introduce to her first GF."
"Spending time with her just reaffirms the fact that there is nothing wrong with the LGBTQ, it was our upbringing that was defective."- Jormungandr91
It's amazing how so many ignorant people don't realize that all one needs to do to see a little more clearly is to open your eyes.
Here's hoping that they help others who remain as ignorant as they once were to open their eyes as well.
Everyone has unusual phobias.
Things which they simply can't bear the sight of, and are forced to turn away when they find themselves in the presence of it.
More often than not, these things are usually habits or behaviors which one normally wouldn't do in polite society.
But, have you ever been repulsed by something that the majority of people might consider "normal"?
Something that's just an everyday occurrence in life?
Redditor Allthelights011 was curious to learn what "normal" things fellow Reddit users were disgusted by, leading them to ask:
"What’s a completely normal thing you find disgusting?"
Fun to do, not to watch.
"Watching people eat."- elladeighthecat·
Just not my style
"Gauged ears, or is it gaged ears?"
"I don't know."
"Big gross holes in people's ears gross me the f*ck out."- alienanimal
Blood? No problem. Saliva on the other hand...
"Spit."
"I was a nurse for 6 months before I found a better paying job and I could deal with blood, feces and urine no problem but if someone is drooling or spitting it grossed me out."- sayziell
Just because it's nature doesn't mean it isn't gross.
"When animals are 'doin' it'."- Colonelfudgenustard
Every month!
"Periods."
"I know it's completely normal but just the initial cramps and mood swings honestly suck."
Not pleasant to watch or do.
"Vomiting."
"The feeling after you puke is terrific."
"It's all the sh*t you feel beforehand and the act of throwing up itself that weirds me out."- geico_fire
No one needs them or needs to see them.
"Skin tags."
"I know people can’t help them and they’re painful to remove but they make me physically ill."- Stealthnt13
Wash your freakin' hands!
"Dirt in your nails"- dejavuthrills
If I didn't actually have to, I wouldn't...
"Pooping!"- stormwaltz
Perhaps what's most difficult about these particular aversions, is that ignoring or avoiding them, or simply looking the other way might not be possible.
Leaving one no other choice than to grin and bear it.
And maybe occasionally withhold the vomit you feel coming...
Chances are, you've been told to try new things ever since you were a little kid. I know I was.
Sometimes, certain activities or experiences seem crazy, and you don't even want to give them a chance.
This could be true of some things. For example, there is no reason to ingest tide pods.
Sometimes an activity or experience that seems crazy only seems that way because you haven't tried it yet.
I thought nothing good could come of mixing buttery popcorn with Swedish Fish, but now it's my favorite snack!
Redditor TheUnthinkableVids wanted to know about other things that seem crazy, but should be given a chance.
He asked:
"What’s a “don’t knock it till you try it” experience that you would weirdly recommend?"
Having Fun Doing You
"LARPing."
"It has a bad reputation of power tripping nerds deluding themselves in public with seemingly no self awareness, but give it a go."
"I found it was more like sparring with a stunt troupe. It was harder than it looked, and everyone was having fun doing their thing while ignoring the haters, which was pretty cool I must admit."
– obscureferences
The Perfect Sauce
"Balsamic glaze on pizza."
– Advanced_Nerve_7602
"Have it on Vanilla ice cream. Amazing."
– henri915
"Basalmic on watermelon is refreshing!"
– spacemantrip
Aim High
"Climbing onto your roof"
– Responsible-Fold1755
"I like how most of the responses in this thread are "try psychedelics" or "go skydiving" or "see a therapist" but you're like, "have you ever been on your roof?""
"Gotta admit though, I've been on my roof and it's strangely satisfying. You get a vantage point to see something that you see everyday, just a little higher up."
– you_did_wot_to_it
Multiple Screens
"A lot of computer noobs think that they would never use more than one monitor, and they don't see the purpose behind it. Bruh. It's magical, trust me."
– Rogue_Like
"I could use a third tbh"
– halfcookies
"I was one of those computer noobs for the longest time. A second monitor changed my life. Then I eventually got a third.... And I can't lie if every now and then I didn't tell myself "a fourth monitor would be quite convenient in this situation....."
– furbit73
Cheese And Everything
"Fresh Mozzarella and honey"
– duskhelm2595
"Or really any cheese and honey. I love eating sharp aged cheddar with hot honey."
– accountability_bot
"Cheese and jam on toast"
– Fickle_Landscape6761
"Cream cheese and grape jelly sandwiches! (On toast)"
– itsstillmeagain
Pampering Is Always Good
"Pedicure for men."
– woodbarber
"My mom made me get one with her when I was a teenager. It rocked. Adult me gets a pedi at least once a month now. $25 to sit in a massage chair while someone cuts my toenails and massages my feet/legs? Yes please!"
– Sichael
The Magic of Salt
"Black pepper and salt on watermelon"
– curiousy_tea
"Salt on pineapple!"
– UnSuccessfulTree61
"A little sprinkle of salt in your coffee"
– Vanilla_Tom
"Salt in Fanta"
– Capable-Reading-8766
Uh...What?
"Draw a bath, turn the shower on, turn the lights off, prop up an umbrella, have a headlamp, a beverage and a good book."
"You look crazy, but try it, you’ll like it."
– ThinkIGotHacked
Be Your Own Best Friend
"Go to a restaurant on your own. Cinema on your own."
– Painting-Powerful
Jumping Out Of A Plane...Safely
"Skydiving. I did a tandem for my 60th I wish I had of done it when I was younger and learnt to do it solo."
– shazj57
"Tandem skydiving instructor here - I wish everyone would try it at least once, it isn't as bad as most people expect, and is much safer than the general public is willing to admit! Glad you had fun :)"
– JustAnotherDude1990
You don't even have to try something if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, but sometimes pushing boundaries and stepping out of your comfort zone can be the best thing for you.
Give seemingly crazy things a chance, and who knows what could happen? You could end up finding a great new hobby... or at least something delicious to eat!
Wise people tend to glorify the past for good reason. Simpler times seemed to indicate just that. Less life drama.
While many technical advances have also made our current life easier, it certainly has come with its share of complications that never existed prior to another time.
Curious to hear from strangers online, one Redditor asked:
"What was actually better in the past?"
People found traveling, particularly flying, was less dramatic back in the day.
Travel Scene
"Airports."
– Ron_deBeaulieu
"This is true. We used to go to the airport to go to the cafe within the airport, watch the planes take off, people watch."
– Botryoid2000
Comfort In The Skies
"Flying in general."
"More seat space, meals included (and a choice of meals), actual metal utensils, luggage included, no need to get to the airport 2 hours before your flight..."
– cinemascifi
A Proper Send-Off
"And you could say goodbye to your friends at the gate. Get there early before the flight and grab a leisurely meal with them. Man, airports used to be fun."
– Ron_deBeaulieu
TSA Efficiency
"In the 90s airport security took half as long."
– oarngebean
Many Redditors believe living in the present is a huge economical inconvenience.
Income Injustice
"Prices vs earnings."
– Jimbruno55
Parenthood Crisis
"Psh. Try childcare. Our childcare cost for two children is more than our mortgage. When I was the same age, it cost my parents about $50/week. Today that would be roughly $135/week per kid. We’re paying $500/wk and still don’t have full time care for both kids. Sh*t’s crazy."
– JsDaFax
Criminals seemed to have a field day once upon a time.
Untraceable
"Being a criminal. If there was a security camera, it was too low resolution to make your face very identifiable."
– Delica
Before CSI
"also DNA analysis and fingerprinting wasn't as good, no Internet to track you."
– ScorpionX-123
Leaving The Country Undetected
"It used to be that it was possible for someone to commit a serious crime, move across the country, and never be caught. As communications technology has improved, that’s no longer feasible."
– RealHumanFromEarth
How people occupied their time in the past seemed to be more favorable.
The Life-Line Device
"Smart phones too, Reddit is the only social media I use and still I stare at this f'king thing 5 hours a day. I know I’m addicted to it and I’d love to punt it but unfortunately it’s also my phone, my map, my camera, my tape measure, my dictaphone, my Walkman etc. etc."
– tarkuspig
The sentiment that the past was better stems largely from nostalgia.
Aside from accessing our Gameboys and Tamagochis, my friends and I would ride our bikes or skateboard out in the cul-de-sac.
We would scrape our knees from falling, get knocked to the ground playing freeze tag, and come home with dried mud on our clothes from a day of roughhousing.
It was some of the best times of my childhood, and I feel for today's youth who still have the option of playing outside but choose to live on their iPads and iPhones instead.
They don't know what they're missing, TBH. Maybe it's just me.