Oh the things we've all eaten.
Sometimes I look back on the day when my stomach was adventurous and I'm stunned at my stupidity.
Or I'm shocked by the adults who were around me.
But even into my 20s things didn't get better.
How we get through life with what we're willing to consume... it's a miracle.
Redditor MawedUpScribble wanted to chat about the questionable menus we've been fed or eaten by choice.
"What did you eat as a kid that you now realize was really f*cked up?"
Fun Dip! Anyone we remember Fun Dip?! Flavored sugar consumed on a sugar stick. Yeah that sounds smart. LOL. I LOVED IT!
From the Bottle
Luke Drinking GIF by Australian SurvivorGiphy"Not me, but my best friend used to eat bullion cubes and drink worcestershire sauce straight from the bottle. (Haha, every single reply assumed my friend is a man. This was a twelve year old girl.)"
ChatGarou
Green
"When I was a kid, I did anything my dog did, including eating grass. One day I realized the grass I ate was also the spot where he peed."
Wabisabi_girl
"Dog pee on a blade of grass once, versus chewed gum spat onto public sidewalks from the mouths of strangers with God knows what diseases multiple times? I'm not gonna pretend that either is appealing, but I think a single experience with dog piss grass is less awful than multiple wads of stranger gum."
hakamamalo
nibbles...
"Horse biscuits. They were green, rather hard and delicious. There was nothing on the packet to say they were not suitable for human consumption, and all the ingredients sounded innocuous. So my best friend and I had a test nibble whilst feeding our horses. After that I regularly pinched a biscuit. Very yummy. And no ill effects."
CountessCraft
'cook'
"My sister and I when we were too young to be left alone in the kitchen decided to 'cook' and make something. We took grapenuts cereal, sugar, peanut butter and cola and mixed it up. We thought it was the best thing ever. Today clearly i think the idea is disgusting but I can still remember how it tasted. I also remember eating saltine crackers with sliced of 'government cheese' melted in it in the microwave for lunch often because we were poor but I liked it."
Tricky5342
Anything
mug sip GIF by Steven KraanGiphy"I remember when my buddy was broke, he'd get a bunch of coffee creamers, ketchup packs and crackers from the condiment bar of a cafeteria and make tomato soup in a mug."
CantTakeMeSeriously
That last one made me ill. I need a minute.
SPOONED
baby fail GIFGiphy"I used to eat frozen concentrated orange juice out of the container with a spoon."
justflush*t
Pizza?
"One time my dad made a 'pizza' with unseasoned tomato paste and sliced hotdogs."
Erberderbadoo
"A friend growing up was Korean and his parents would make us 'hot dog soup' which was just hot dogs sliced up into a spicy pepper soup base, maybe gochujang. To be fair, it was pretty tasty, as a young kid."
dcux
The Bell
"Taco Bell hot sauce packets. Not on or with anything, just a straight shot of hot sauce. Like 10-20 of them in a row sometimes."
DelphicProphecy
"There was a guy like a year ago or so, who was snowed in his car for 5 days and he survived on nothing but taco bell sauce packets."
DrDeuceJuice
"My high school job was Taco Bell in Southern Oregon. For a while there was a .39 burrito day. Each time we had this special a 'very large man' would order 20 burritos with red sauce and 20 burritos with green sauce. He would sit and eat all 40 burritos and downed a hot sauce packet with each burrito. RIP that dude, no way he’s still alive."
PacoMahogany
White Stuff
"I would routinely grab a handful of fresh, powdery white snow then head to the curb of my street and slop a big glop of slushy, grey, gritty, curb slush right on top and eat it like a cupcake. Tasted nice and salty. I was probably between the ages of 6 and 8 when I did this."
Rokuformula
Straight Up Raw
Awkward Oops GIF by I Can’t Believe It’s Not ButterGiphy"I had two favourite snacks as a kid. Butter straight out of the tub or onions. Raw onion."
Sienna-hart
Not much choice...
"Ketchup sandwiches."
PolyDrew
"I had a friend who ate ketchup sandwiches. Other kids would make fun of him for it. But his family was poor and he didn't have much choice. He grew up to be one of the hardest working guys I've ever known. House has enough food in it to survive a zombie apocalypse. Because he doesn't want his kids to ever worry about their next meal."
kalgary
Tough Times
"This isn't what you were probably expecting but my siblings and I basically grew up on game meat. My parents were starring down the barrel of some really dark times so my dad bought some game tags every year and we ate elk and dear every day for six years. It was one of those situations where the fact that my brother and I could fish everyday without getting a ticket meant that our dad sent us fishing every day since we were 6."
"We eventually pulled through and there were times there was something other than whatever we caught, shot, or trapped, but in hindsight it really put into perspective just how fucking hard times got for us."
anothersatanist89
Love it Today
“'Cheesy peas' were one of my favorites. It was just plain green peas with a slice of melted American cheese stirred in. I didn’t realize it was just one of many struggle meals my parents fed us until I mentioned it to friends later and they were all completely aghast. I'd still eat it today though."
tsuto
Eat Anything
Dog Ate My Homework School GIF by Guava JuiceGiphy"I ate a fist sized ball of Saran Wrap when I was 12. I also ate construction paper and would label them different flavors."
bitis_gabonica
INSTANT REGRET.
"We would get a short little cup, pour in a mound of sugar, and dip strawberries in. Usually there was a little sugar left over and we would wet our finger, stick it in, and suck on sugar straight. Well. One day after sucking on strawberries and sugar I went down into the basement."
"I noticed a little mound of white sugar crystals to the side of the top stair! I wet my finger, stuck it in, and sucked on it. INSTANT REGRET. so I poked my head out of the basement and said 'HEY this sugar tastes gross!!' And my parents had me drink lots of orange juice."
JohnHowardBuff
Earth's Menu
"Dirt."
Freddy704
"My mom did this as a kid, and also ate the walls which were made of dirt. The smell of moist earth was delicious to her. She told us this while laughing. I was like, mom... you were suffering from malnutrition."
Patomaxe
"I ate dirt, grass, and other such stuff as a kid. I also had pinworms once, however I don't get sick very often and I think it's cuz I built my immunity up by doing such things as a child."
TFlo904
Delish?
Excited Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy"Bread, butter, and sugar. I thought it was a treat. Turns out we were broke."
Crazy-Leadership-634
Jacks
"My mom was an addict and on weekend I was at her house she would regularly disappear for hours. Sometimes she’d not have electricity. Sometimes no gas. Almost always little to no food. One time I was starving and the only option was super stale Apple Jacks and half and half. She also had mice, so I try not to think about what else was in that box. 30 years later, I still can’t eat Apple Jacks."
ohidontthinks0
Make better diet choices. Our bodies are going to seek revenge!
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Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked:
"What is the weirdest animal fact you know?"
Like Perry
"Platypus glow blueish green under ultraviolet light."
"They also don’t have nipples, they just exude milk from glands under the skin and the baby’s lap it up."
~ WakingOwl1
"They have electrolocation in their bills that lets them detect their food under water."
~ DrPlatypus1
"And they lay eggs."
"The more I find out about them the more I understand why people first thought they were fake."
~ Reidroshdy
"After seeing all these platypus facts I am convinced these things are aliens that have been abandoned on Earth."
~ SeattleOne206
Kapow!
"Mantis Shrimp have 16 different sets of cones. Rods and cones are in your eyes. Cones see color, rods see light and motion."
"Dogs have 2 sets of cones—green and blue. Humans have 3 sets of cones—green, blue and red."
"Mantis Shrimp are seeing colors we can't comprehend and explains why they're very colorful."
"That’s not even the strangest thing about them."
"They can also punch as fast as a .22 bullet which cause a cavitation bubble which boils the water around them at temperatures of several thousand Kelvins."
~ RigzDigz
GiphyTerrible Twos
"Cats have the mental capacity of a 2-year-old which makes a lot of sense."
~ Alive_Ad823
Cats Dragging GIFGiphyLike Tinder
"When a female sloth wants a mate she'll hang onto a tree branch and just scream."
~ Remarkable_Sink2542
GiphyGood Thing They're So Small
"Dragonflies are the most successful predators on Earth."
"When lions choose prey they have like a 10% chance of catching it."
"African painted dogs—who hunt in packs—have the highest kill rate of any mammal, successfully catching 51% of their prey."
"When a dragonfly locks onto a target, it has a 99.9% success rate!"
~ PurpleInevitable2103
GiphyOn A Swivel
"Owls have really long necks, but it's hard to notice that because their feathers are so fluffy."
~ ergonaut
GiphyWhat About Cousin It?
"Sea otters are the most densely furred animal with 600,000 to 1,000,000 hair follicles per square inch."
"Dogs have about 15,000 per square inch, humans on average are between 800 to 1,290 hairs per square inch."
~ atom1129
Giphy
Sucker Punchers
"Octopus punch other fish for no reason—so, for fun."
~ Samanthalynn8915
"There's a direct correlation between species' intelligence and dickish behavior."
~ TheDesktopNinja
Looks Are Deceiving
"Polar bear fur isn't white—it's translucent (for most frequencies of light). And they have black skin underneath."
"So polar bear fur lets all the light through to their black skin to warm them—except for a few visible frequencies to keep them camouflaged as white."
~ seedanrun
GiphyWho's Going To Attack One‽‽
"Honey badgers can turn their a**holes inside out and use the smell to deter attackers."
"Not sure what exactly has the guts to attack a honey badger, but if they have the courage to do so, the badger sure as hell isn’t gonna make it easy."
~ nonexistantauthor
GiphyBig Momma
"The Blanket Octopus exhibits the highest degree of sexual dimorphism known."
"Females: About 6 feet across."
"Males: About one inch."
~ Fabulous-Pause4154
High Times
"Dolphins will intentionally use puffer fish to get high."
~ altkaldra
"They upset blowfish so they inflate, and therefore emit poison. It gets the dolphins high. Then they pass it around, literally."
~ smack4u
"Not just the dolphins. I recently saw a video about 10 animals that like to get high. Very interesting."
~ s137leo__
"Lemurs do that with giant centipedes/millipedes too."
~ chubbyknuckles420
Fabrizio Frigeni on Unsplash
Better Than Bike Helmets
"Woodpeckers' tongues wrap around their brains to cushion them from the vibrations of slamming their face into trees all day."
~ we_made_yewww
"Their tongues also have barbs to grab bugs out of the holes."
"Their brains have additional cushioning because, you know, they spend their days smashing their face as hard as possible into trees."
~ RhynoD
Detachable Organs
"Argonauts [paper nautili] are small octopuses that are too lazy to have intercourse."
"They detach their penises and toss them into the open sea to mate with female argonauts."
"The detachable 'd*ck' is a tiny tentacle, complete with suckers and sperm, that develops in a cavity under the eye of a male argonaut [paper nautilus]."
"When it's time to mate, the tentacle explodes out of the cavity, instantly killing the male argonaut. The tentacle then swims towards a female argonaut to insert itself."
"Sexy, huh?"
~ Schwarzes__Loch
What's your favorite weird animal fact?
Tough guys put on a facade that indicates to others that they always know what's going on.
But their confidence doesn't always match their intellect, which is probably why they cover their insecurities by walking around and trying to show everyone who's really the boss.
If that's the case, they should keep their mouths shut because not everything that comes out of their mouth needs to be heard.
Yet, it can be amusing to everyone else.
Curious to hear examples of these, Redditor PrototypeShadowBlitz asked:
"Reddit, what is the stupidest thing you've heard from the 'alpha male' community?"
You might find these guys at a bar.
The Dude Must Be Hungry
"Had a run in once with a group of young lads about something in a bar and one of them said we are top of the food chain bro and you will be the prey."
– insertitherenow
"'Whatever, mall ninja" -proper response."
– TheEighthLord
If The Shoe Fits
"That they were an alpha male."
– I_Have_A_Name37654
"The use of 'Alpha Male,' unironically is every indication that you're dealing with a child's understanding of manhood."
– 88Dubs
Brat Pack
"Me and my bros are all alpha males."
– SonOfDadOfSam
"I was skiing one time and rode the lift with a guy that said, 'I don't feel no pain. I live with 5 roommates and none of us feel any pain.' Okay, bud. That's a really interesting coincidence."
– NicPizzaLatte
They sure thrive on making sexist comments.
Contagious Femininity
"A coworker said, 'I don't spend too much time with my girlfriend because I'll become too feminine.'"
– Lazy_Natural6154
"FELLAS IS IT GAY?!"
– aliebabadegrote
Sexist Categorization
"I have been called a beta for saying that my wife makes more money than I do. She works in a more lucrative field and is more educated than I am, so it makes perfect sense that she makes more than I do."
"So I came back, and this post has really blown up. There's just a few things I want to clarify."
"1- I have only ever been called a beta online."
"2- I work full-time in project management. I have a master's degree. I have a 6 figure salary."
"3- My wife has a PhD and works in finance. She also has a 6 figure salary, it's just a higher salary than my own."
"4- I'm sorry to anyone who might feel as though my original post misled them."
– ExaminationDouble240
It's Teamwork
"A real man would be proud of his wife for achieving success, and not fall for that sort of insecure bullsh*t."
"It's not a contest, that's the real joke here. Good on you for seeing the big picture."
– Mrbeardoesthethings
Do these roles about parenting sound familiar?
Childish Things Are Too Girly
"Real men don't take their kids trick or treating is one that I heard recently."
– constructionguy89
"Related. Guys who brag about not changing diapers, not playing 'girly' games, etc. Essentially guys who brag that their only contribution to fatherhood is money and masculine things like fishing or football. Even then some of them brag about not paying a lot of child support to prove they didn't let the system take advantage of them."
"I can't imagine a life so empty my only accomplishment worth bragging about was being a terrible parent."
– Green7000
This Woman's Work
"I was told that taking care of my kids is woman's work. Apparently it's concerning that I try to spend so much of my free time with them. Oddly enough the meatheads at my grappling club think it's sweet I occasionally have my daughters' hair clips on and nails painted."
– MrFunktasticc
People discussed rules in the bedroom.
Never Submissive
"That a man is turned off when their wife/girlfriend seduces them, because if she wants sex and shows it she is a sl*t, also making the man the submissive one…"
– kamalaophelia
Stifling Emotions
"Not the whole community, but was cuddling with a guy once and could tell he was trying not to get emotional over something that was bothering him. He said, quite literally, 'it's not alpha male behaviour.' I told him that I liked that he showed emotions sometimes, and he looked disgusted by the fact that I pointed it out."
– LambLifts
In high school, a classmate who was on the football team said I was a "sissy" for listening to classical music.
The other classmates laughed at me, which was hardly surprising since all of the guys on our unbeatable football team were considered stars on campus.
This kind of mockery was a typical day for me.
I can laugh at their idiotic comments now but back then, I don't know why I ever let them get under my skin.
Who doesn't love a first date?
The anticipation. The hopes and dreams. The romance.
Even those first-date butterflies are fun.
You're hoping this could be the one.
Or maybe this will just be a lot of fun.
Then you sit down with one another and they open their mouth and BOOM... dating disaster.
Life is ruined. Or maybe you were saved.
Redditor MiloMilkOnDrugs wanted to hear about the conversations that can ruin a romantic time, so they asked:
"What's the worst thing someone can say on a first date?"
Having worked as a waiter as long as I did, I can't tell the things I've overheard without fainting.
I'll just say... sometimes it's okay to stay single.
Promises
Players Association Sport GIF by NBPAGiphy“'I need you to promise not to tell my wife.'"
FriendNegative6013
Honk Off
"My cousin (F) went on a first date where in the middle of the conversation, her date reached over and squeezed her breast and said 'Honk.'"
"She said 'What on earth do you think you're doing?'"
He said 'I've had quite a lot of success with that move.'"
"There was no second date. My cousin was the girl. I realized from a comment it was ambiguous."
blu3teeth
Circa 2005
"My mother was freshly divorced and we signed her up on a dating website (circa 2005) Helped her take pictures etc..."
"She met this guy online real smart, seems to have his sh*t together, independent, etc..."
"They set a date at a local restaurant they park side by side."
"The moment she greets him he says: WOW I love those big boobs I can't wait to taste them!"
"She 180° stepped back in her Mazda 3 and f**ked the right off this parking lot lol."
mageakeem
Safety First
"Does anyone know you're here?"
Baby-hazell
"It's a safety thing. Sometimes, people let others know where they'll be before meeting a stranger for a date. However for him to ask can be seen as a little creepy like he would be planning to do something to them and would need to know that info so he can figure out how long she'll be gone before the police are called. If that makes sense."
Hachiko75
Previously...
canadian what GIF by CBCGiphy"I was on a date once, the woman apologized before looking a bit rough because she had just had sex before coming."
REDDIT
What happened to putting your best foot forward?
My goodness, it's not that hard to at least run a brush through your hair.
Mirror Mirror
"'My ex looks way better than you.'"
Academic_Ingenuity84
"What a coincidence. My ex looks way better than you."
"Maybe they can get together and leave us ugly fools to mope about it together."
LurkerOrHydralisk
Oh Baby
"After pulling her chair out for her, you pet her head then rub her belly saying 'I’m gonna put a baby in here.'"
BuffaloInCahoots
"Ha, can you imagine, being a proper gentleman and then ending with a head pat and belly rub?"
phillmybuttons
"I once had a guy tell me on the first date he wanted to have at least six children. I heard later from his sister he married a woman who was already pregnant with someone else's kid, and he had her pregnant again within the year."
ashoka_akira
Family Dynamics
"'You remind me of my mom.' Bonus points if there is this weird attraction component to it."
Kiunan5
"My partner went on a date with a young woman shortly before we met, he said she repeatedly compared him to her father ('my dad drinks scotch', 'my dad is also bald,' etc). He said no amount of attraction could save the date after that."
Digital_Punk
"Oh God, I'm guilty of this one. It wasn't a date. but I told that to a woman I tried bedding later on. Honestly, she didn't look like my mom i was just shooting my shots at trying to keep her around."
Bobtheguardian22
Be Serious
Shouting The Goldbergs GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy"I went to a nice French bistro in the Bay Area, there was a table right behind me and the friend dining. The guy literally said to the girl 'I am the alpha of this relationship.' (in a serious manner). Me and buddy sort of looked at each other while the girl literally burst out laughing, grabbed her bag, and then walked out of the restaurant."
295DVRKSS
It feels like some men have no one to bounce conversation ideas off of.
Or do they really believe what they say?