Ah married life, that's when you're living the dream.... well so they say. Those of us unmarried relics wouldn't know but it's sure fun learning about.
Who hasn't wondered what the most major life changes will be once vows are swapped and the clergy says "you may kiss your partner." Maybe the biggest surprise is that there is little to no change.
That would seem like a letdown. Let's find out.
Redditor BoboDClown2019 wanted all the matrimonial partners out there to speak up by asking:
"Married people of Reddit, what did you only start doing in your relationship after you got married?"
The Regulars.
"Costco is now considered a date so that's something."
BearOfBears
"Wife legit wants a Vacuum cleaner for Christmas. No necklaces, no diamonds, just another Dyson stick vacuum that we can just keep in the basement. This will make her happy. I meanwhile will feel like a bad 50's husband, but its a sacrifice I make for my wife."
Blog_Pope
Giphy
Chefs.
"Cooking, my husband was a chef and has always been amazing at cooking, I never really cooked at home (unless mr noodles or frozen dinners count). Once we moved in, I started calling my mom (who is also a chef) and asking her how to make certain dishes. Turns out I'm pretty damn good at cooking, somethings that I've made, both my mom and hubby wanted to learn the recipe form me!"
"Starting learning to cook 9 months ago."
dotsisu
RIP my love.
"Quit checking out every room I walked into for hot available females. My wife was seriously, always the most beautiful person in the room and we would talk about anything and everything under the sun. She was my best friend too. Rebecca passed away from breast cancer on May 17th of this year. I'm still not looking. RIP my love."
DeanSmartin
I Got Out.
"Most of these are good... mine's not. After I got married was when my (now-ex) husband's abuse became apparent. He straight up told me he owned me now and could do whatever he wanted to me.""
"Yeah there were signs before hand (hindsight is 20/20) but once it was legal, it became glaringly obvious. We had our first married fight on day 1 of being mr and mrs.
"Took 3 years but I got out."
foxes-and-flowers
Nothing.
"Honestly if you talk to any just married couple, most don't feel any different at all. Nothing changes."
"It just becomes more socially acceptable to start discussing having kids."
"The only thing that really changed for us was that I was suddenly comfortable getting loans in both our names and combining our finances. Finances are likely the most important factor when it comes to marriage."
Trigger93
Giphy
The Guinea Pig.
"Cooking, sadly my mother never taught me how to cook so my husband was my Guinea pig. I feel bad because it took me a few years to learn how to make food edible."
otherm0ther
Coffee Forever.
"My parents both never drank coffee and didn't really care for the taste of it. Someone gifted them a coffee maker as a wedding present. They tried it out their first morning married and have made coffee every morning since."
it_helper
For the Very 1st Time....
"We started having sex. We were both virgins."
"It's been an amazing 4 years! The first time was was way better then everyone said it would be and it's been fun for us to learn and explore everything for the first time together."
CzCzCz540
Money. Money. Money.
"Share finances (we did some before but it becomes more integrated), bought a house together, no condoms, life insurance and such being in your spouses name, a lot more compromise on decisions... nothing is different right away but you start doing these things slowly."
Goofball412a
Giphy
Living Situations.
"Lots of realizing I suck at cohabitation and need to clean up after myself more. Learning to say no to the things I want even if it doesn't put us in a bad financial situation we got goals and stuff so I want those to happen more than some upgraded SSD for my computer."
mynipplescutglass
Hey Hubby....
"Calling him my husband. That's about it."
dsteere2303
"Ours was the same way. It's kind of a relief though isn't it? It's hard to explain but saying "wife" instead of "girlfriend" when we met new people was so much easier."
Fair_University
Giphy
"Honey, what's wrong?"
"Everything. I married my husband, who was in the Navy, at 18, and he immediately moved me across the country and then got deployed, leaving still teenage me alone in a strange place trying to take care of our home alone."
"My sweet, elderly neighbor, who had been really lonely because her son didn't visit often, came over the first week with some flowers from her garden. I was so touched I started crying, and she said, "Honey, what's wrong?" I was like, "How do you write a check to pay bills?????"
"She helped me, and we became really good friends. I'll never forget her."
Christian_Writer
People Explain Activities They've Added To Their Post-Pandemic Bucket List | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
While we've all been cooped up for the better part of two years, many of us have been dreaming up exciting plans for the future. Maybe it's finally time to s..."Dear & Moose"
"He tried calling me "dear" when we were dating. I jokingly told him "don't call me dear, I'm not your wife," he never did it again. Fast forward a few years, we get married and walking out of the court house he whispers in my ear "I can call you dear now." So now he calls me dear and I call him Moose."
ScaredOfSocks
The Brood.
"Having children."
ImSharticus
"I always found it funny that despite how religious her side of the family is, my mum and both her siblings all had a daughter that had a kid before getting married."
Mad_Squid
Same Old. Same Old.
"Having the same damn thoughts and voicing them at the same time. 🤦♀️"
caligirl41
"Or wearing basically the same clothes. Feels like that started happening more and more often."
Fair_University
Giphy
Nothing special.
"Nothing special. The usual things that go with being married, co-habituating, taxes, sharing things."
"If you start doing things you didn't do before you were married, you may run into problems. Be who you are all the time, and that way when you do find the right one they like for you for all of that."
phydeaux70
The Annuals.
"Creating 'traditions' together. It is our wedding anniversary this month and I am looking forward to arguing about how big the chunks of bacon should be while making home made pizzas, listening to flashback Friday all while wearing my wedding dress."
dalekbearkissme
Let's Chat.
"Honestly if you talk to any just married couple, most don't feel any different at all. Nothing changes."
"It just becomes more socially acceptable to start discussing having kids."
"The only thing that really changed for us was that I was suddenly comfortable getting loans in both our names and combining our finances. Finances are likely the most important factor when it comes to marriage."
Trigger93
Putting Work In....
"Gardening. She loves it. I see it as more chores, but I love her so I will happily do extra chores to see her happy."
"This is literally what my dad told me when I'll know I've found the right woman. When I'll willingly do extra chores just go make her happy."
"Unmarried at 33....."
FrankieFillibuster
Bon Voyage....
"Nothing really changed. We had already been living together for almost 10 years... getting married was basically just an excuse to party and go to Hawaii."
mejok
"How fun was that wedding? You had an excuse to party, sounds like it was really really fun!"
ToInfinityandBirds
Giphy
You always want to be comfortable around your life partner... but maybe not too comfortable like keeping the bathroom door open when it's occupied.
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Oasis in the desert? No thank you.
"Dubai."
"Why and whats special about it?"
"Its a modern city in a desert."- Maximum_Calendar_791.
"Dubai."
"A fake city with fake people, no human rights, where the world's tallest buildings hide corruption and slavery in their shadows."
"It's like someone decided to take every problem of mankind and concentrate it in one spot."- PayNoNoticeOfMe.
"Dubai one i think it is ugly two I would die in two minutes of me being there I can't stand anything above 40 c°."- BookWormPerson.
One of the seven wonders is one too many for me.
"The pyramids. "
"Too many horror stories of Egypt."- Aemiom.
Landlocked.
"Not really a destination, but taking a cruise."- Shortbus_Playboy.
cruise ship vacation GIF by Hallmark ChannelGiphyMountains aren't really my thing.
"Everest."
"Just why."
"You use a bunch of money to get in there them come down."
"And trash your whole way there. It's literally a corner in the Earth insufferable for humans and we still made a way to go there to trash it."- ACLullaby.
It's in my own backyard... but still not interested.
"I have lived about 15km away from the Burj Khalifa ever since it was made."
"I could not care any less besides the occasional pointing out the 'shiny tall building' to my nieces.- legolosss.
The pictures are enough for me.
"Mount Rushmore."
"Friends who've made the journey to Mount Rushmore mostly say it was no big deal and not worth the effort or expense to travel there."- Back2Bach.
States Selfie GIF by Ethan BarnowskyGiphyHustle and Bustle? No thanks.
"Anything busy.'
"Whether it's cities, structures, I don't care."
"I'd rather go to a boring empty quiet place than a place full of people."- TheSmeep.
They're watching us.
"That creepy a** place in Japan with all the realistic dolls."
"No thank you."
dolly dearest horror GIF by absurdnoiseGiphySome dream of paying a visit to these places.
Others hope they never have to set foot there, and will choose to leave it to the other millions of tourists.
To each, their own.
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And while a candidate is fit to lead remains to be seen, we rely on our instinct to choose someone with whom we can relate.
But sometimes, our options are limited and we inevitably go with someone who is the lesser of two evils.
Curious to hear from strangers online about a hypothetical, Redditor Cashmeresquid2309 asked:
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for an openly Atheist presidential candidate? Why or why not?"
Redditors were quick to point out the answer was a no-brainer.
We Already Know The Answer
"Asking Reddit if they'd vote for an atheist..."
"I feel like the answer would be obvious."
– sarahmagoo
Sci-Fi Analogy
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for a Star Wars fan who heckin loves doggos?"
– WitnessChemical
For The Atheists In The Crowd
"Atheists of atheistville, would you vote for an open atheist?"
– nixcamic
Others weighed in with a range of opinions.
About 45
"What's funny is how many of them would probably say no, even though they voted for Trump and would do so again. Say whatever else you want about him, but I seriously can't understand how anyone could genuinely believe Trump is a Christian. He's so obviously faking it and is undoubtedly the most atheistic president we've ever had or are likely to have for a long time."
"This is a guy who's never even so much as read the Bible or attended church, who told a conservative radio host his favorite Bible verse was 'an eye for an eye', who told evangelical interviewers that he's never asked God for forgiveness because he's never done anything wrong, and who routinely commits all 7 deadly sins (pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth) without remorse."
– empfindsamkeit
From A Different Perspective
"Not an american but interestingly according to this survey on 1006 people from 2007, being atheist was the worst thing you could be as a candidate (of the things asked) with only 45 % of people saying they'd vote for one."
– ilovecatfish
An atheist candidate isn't necessarily a big strike.
Double Negative
"I wouldn’t not vote for someone just because they were atheist."
– HabitualEnthusiast
Credibility First
"This is it. If they’re running on platforms I support with a history to back up those campaign promises, I don’t care if they belong to the church of the flying spaghetti monster. They could literally be a member of the satanic temple and I, an actual practicing Christian, would give less shi*s than a constipated sloth."
"Edit: yes, I realize the Satanic Temple does not actually worship satan. I used it for that purpose. The Church of Satan has some…problematic views and I probably would not vote for someone who literally holds a platform of eugenics."
– Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Some view the role of religion in politics as important.
It Depends
"Religion can be relevant: I would have strong reservations about voting for a Scientologist, even if I agreed with the policies they proposed. I would have strong reservations voting for a member of an apocalyptic cult or, possibly worse, a follower of the (highly heretical) 'prosperity gospel,' which unfortunately includes more and more so-called 'evangelicals' — I didn't vote for George W. Bush, but it's not because he was an evangelical."
"It depends on the role: I'd probably be more flexible with a legislator than an executive (mayor, governor, president), as their character is IMO more important than for a legislator and their policy stances somewhat less important relative to a legislator."
"Satanic temple — well, that's just an organized group of atheists and humanists with an intentionally inflammatory choice of name. They're generally fine people."
– alyssasaccount
A Bad Rap
"The Satanic Temple is an excellent organization that every decent person should be able to respect. A Church of Satan member, not so much."
"There's a huge difference between them!"
– StarsEatArtBooks
And Redditor boganvegan said it best.
"Better an open atheist than a fake Christian."
It all boils down to trustworthiness. Without full transparency, how could anyone put their faith in a candidate who spews nothing but lies?
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I'm always freaked out when I'm home alone. Lights on. Yeah, my electric bill is high.
Dorothy?
Wind Conan Obrien GIF by Team CocoGiphy"I dreamed the front door blew open at the exact time the house alarm went off... I hopped up and sure enough, the front door was open. No intruder."
fatowl
I See You
"Not home alone but only one in right side of the house. Went to my mom's bathroom to wash my hands and saw a pair of feet behind the half open door. Laughed and said 'very funny Ma, I see you.' then finished up and left. Bumped into my mother in the kitchen unpacking, nobody else was in the house. I'm glad whatever was behind the door didn't peek out."
SatanWithFur
“It’s Doug!”
"One night I had forgotten to lock my apartment door and woke up in the middle of the night. My bedroom door was about 2 feet from my front door, as you walked into the apartment. First a big dog ran by, then a person. Holy crap I was so scared and I screeched 'Who is it?!?!!'"
"A man said 'It’s Doug!' As I was thinking to myself, who the f**k is Doug, he said 'oh, crap.' He turned around to go back out the front door saying 'Sorry.' I asked 'Didn’t you have a dog with you?' He said 'Oh, yeah. Hey, c’mon!.' He left, his dog ran out after him and I locked my front door."
"Edit: glad you all thought this was funny, because I did too, once my heart quit trying to beat right out of my chest! The next day the girls at work thought I was crazy for not being upset, but eh, done is done. Peace!"
scarletohairy
Confused...
"My sister and I were home alone and we heard someone big running up the stairs. The stairs make lots of noise with slight pressure so when there’s someone big on them you can tell. I went out of my room to check but saw no one anywhere and my sister also came out of her room and she asked if that was me I said no and we both looked around to see if there was anyone but found no one in the whole house. We were confused and called our parents and just waited until they got back and that was that."
JtSudbury04
I See You
Staring I See You GIF by QuikTripGiphy"I very clearly saw a guy walk into my room. But when I went after him there was nobody there. I checked in the closet, under my bed, everywhere one could hide in my room."
HighlyOffensive10
This is why home video surveillance is key.
"NO"
Season 5 No GIF by The OfficeGiphy"My parents were on a road trip, just left, and I sat down at my desk. I thought 'Weekend alone by myself' and a voice yelled into my right ear 'NO' so loud it hurt."
Th4ab
Wild
"I managed to lock myself out of my house on my birthday during a tornado while trying to bring my cats to the basement for safety. I later found out that the tornado was approximately a couple miles or less from me at that exact time. The sky was green and it got weirdly calm and then I could hear what sounded like a train coming before I found an unlocked window to climb through. Wild times."
SilverGnarwhal
Saturday morning in the 80s...
"I wasn't home alone but I was awake by myself one Saturday morning in the 80s when I was around 7 or so. I believe my mom was the only one home because my dad went to the lake to go fishing that weekend, and I'm not sure where my older brothers were, maybe they went with him, idk."
"Anyways, my mom's sleeping in, and I'm in the living room by myself, watching Saturday morning cartoons and making a fort out of sheets and cushions. Something made me turn around and I saw my dad in his pajamas standing in the hallway entrance with his hands on his hips, looking the mess I was making and shaking his head."
"He then turned around and walked into my room, which was just off the hallway entrance. Dude. I didn't even look, I just booked it to my parents room and woke my mom up. I don't remember what happened after that, this was around 35 years ago. And yes, my dad was fine, nothing had happened to him."
smriversong
Get the Bat...
"I was at home by myself on a call with some friends when all of a sudden my dog begins to bark like crazy, which was odd since it was the middle of the night and he's usually sleep. I go downstairs to check on him and find him barking at our hall closet, terrified I grabbed my bat that I keep in my room just in case and open the door. There was nothing out of usual at first at then I look down and notice a familiar looking object at the bottom of the closet."
"It was my mom's necklace she had lost when I was 9, (i'm 15 now just to put in perspective how long it's been). I showed it to my mom at breakfast and she was just as shocked as I was. I still have no clue how it got there or how my dog knew it was in there, definitely one of the oddest occurrences of my life."
SomeRandomIdiot14
Meow
Happy Cat GIF by ChubbiverseGiphy"Many years ago, I was 14 or so, my first night alone in the house when my parents were out. Lying on the living room floor reading, my cat sleeping next to me."
"Suddenly, cat wakes up, stares intently into the dark corner of the room behind me, hair on end, growls and then bolts out of the room and upstairs. I look behind me and see nothing, but follow cat upstairs and hide under the covers. Freaked me out."
LairdofWingHaven
Thank God for alarms. I hate being home alone.
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The body freaks me out. But it's all I've got. So teach me some things.
Minutes...
death GIFGiphy"The fastest killing virus takes around 4 days to kill you. That would be Ebola. Your immune system can kill you in 15 minutes."
will477
'locked-in'
"If your brainstem (the part of the brain that mediates most motor control for all of the body) is damaged, you can get 'locked-in' syndrome. That means you're fully conscious and aware of your surroundings but unable to move or speak. The only muscles that remain unaffected in most people are the muscles that move they eyes and the eyelids."
"You're essentially trapped within your own body with your only way of communication being blinking or moving your eyes It can be caused by toxins, blockage of the basilar artery which is the main artery of the brainstem, or other brainstem damage."
4oodler
Explosions
"Some people suffer from Exploding Head Syndrome, which causes them to hear a loud bang when they wake up."
ToraMix19
"When I was younger I believe I experienced this a few times. Sounds I heard were: about a million people talking and laughing all at once, a train that irl would've been about a foot away from me based on the volume of the sound, and a door slamming loudly."
aliaisacreature
Pain
"Not sure if this is by design, but I totaled my car once, almost completely uninjured somehow. Then I looked down to my right hand which I remember jabbing into my dashboard at 55mph. Luckily (unluckily?) only my pinky took the blow. But instead of a floppy-udder full of bone-sand, my pinky was 0.5 inches long."
"Broke no bones, but instead perfectly stacked my phalanges, or finger bones, INTO my hand. This is fixed by a muscular Russian murse grabbing your pinky with both hands and pulling very hard. God I wish they gave me more lidocaine."
TelevisionOlympics
Functions
animation art GIFGiphy"If you have a surgery where they need to move your organs around they might not function for a day as the body assumes that they are dead."
tonythebutcher13
Move things around? You mean that's not fake when it happens on "Grey's Anatomy?"
Basketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1"The only reason you are not aware of it is because the ambient noise kind of drowns it out because your ears focus on it. If you go to one of those super-silent rooms that absorb all sorts of sounds, it is a really weird way to reacquaint yourself with your body."
Black_Handkerchief
The Mouth
"Idk about the most disturbing but how bad human teeth are. We’d think it’s our sugary and processed diets these days that cause it, but even Otzi the iceman discovered in Italy was found to have terrible teeth, mouth diseases and cavities. It’s odd that even with the most basic of diets our teeth are so bad."
Dorianisconfused
In the bowels...
"I noticed this after my abdominal surgery. When I turned over in bed my guts seemed to fall from one side to the other. Mentioned to my doc and she confirmed it was my bowels rearranging themselves."
squatter_
"Apparently the doctor just throws your intestines back in there higgeldy-piggeldy because there isn't a correct way to pack them neatly."
LostDesigner9
A Quick Burst
"There are a vast number of ways that your body can malfunction and kill you with little or no warning. An aneurysm can go undetected until it bursts and kills you. Getting hit in the chest just the right way can stop your heart. You can encounter an allergen that never previously provoked an immune response that freaks out your body so badly that you die. You literally just never know if your body will just... die."
Unsolicited_Spiders
The body is such a conundrum. Sexy and gross all at once.
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