People Who Married In Their Early 20s Explain Whether They Regret Their Decision Or Not

There are so many cultural narratives about "being in your 20s."
We're supposed to explore, travel, educate ourselves, meet people, try new things and "get life experience," whatever that means.
But in the same breathe, people tell us we're not kids anymore, so we need to grow up, find a decent job, focus on career development, handle personal finances wisely, and consider the long view.
All the different advice is enough to make the head spin.
So it's no surprise that marrying early is a rather loaded concept. Choosing to tie the knot before 25 is a big commitment made a young age, there is no doubt about it.
A recent Reddit thread illustrated that while the decision is definitely not for everyone, it worked for plenty of folks out there.
sonOfTheSun28 asked, "People that married early (between 20-25), how has it impacted your life, do you regret it or was it the best decision you ever made?"
All Worked Out
"I was 25, she was 23. It's been 10 years that we formed a couple, and 6 years married. She's currently on the PC, and I'm watching over our 7 months old baby."
"Pretty good decision to marry her."
"Diplomacy"
"Got married at age 18. Still married to the same man at age 70. 51 years of diplomacy 💕" -- Dobba1969
"I can't wait to get here. My husband and I got married at 19/20, we are now both 27 and going strong. Been together since we were 15." -- bindsaybindsay
The Right Choice
"No regrets. Been married since I was 24, I'm 50 now. Best. Woman. Ever. IMO." -- keltoy1549
"Early? I was 25 and thought it was kinda' late."
3 plus decades later, still laughing and enjoying married life. Here's some unsolicited advice; find someone who not only laughs at your jokes, but makes you laugh just as much. And have as many kids as you can afford, because they give you pure joy." -- originalmango
A Seamless Flow
"My husband and I got married when we were both 23. We had already been living together for years, had combined finances, etc. so we had basically been married beforehand anyway."
"We went to the courthouse and got married by a justice of the peace. Then we went back to our apartment and back to our lives."
"Literally nothing changed lol. We're still very happy and own a home now with 2 dogs, so I'd say it worked out for us so far. Our 4th wedding anniversary will be in January."
-- glowbaby
Other Factors Besides Age
"I have one friend who married his high school sweetheart when they were 18. They have 3 children and seem very happy and content. He is always talking about how much he loves his wife."
"I have another friend who married his college girlfriend once he graduated and hit 21. They moved to California and only lasted 2 years before he found out she was cheating on him. He has said numerous times that it was one of the biggest mistakes he has ever made."
"I guess it all depends on you, and the other person..."
-- Stevie-Avail
A Tumultuous Decade
"We were 23 and 24 when we married, we had been together for 3 years then. That was 12 years ago, currently we are sipping coffee together while he plays a game and I browse reddit. He is hands down the best decision of my life."
"That being said, it wasn't easy especially in the beginning. It's been a lot of hard work and raw emotion getting to where we are today. We agree that that age range is a bit young and somewhat foolish to decide to marry, though sometimes it works."
"There's so much growth that takes place between 20-30, we were fortunate to grow together instead of apart."
-- SlackAsh
The Other Side
"It was stupid. Wish I hadn't. I regret it to this day."
"Wrecked my life - she's got psychological problems and decided to ditch me a couple of months after marriage."
Inarguable Outcomes
"I got married at twenty five. It lasted ten years or so. I can't regret it, because it produced the best daughter a guy could ever want."
"That alone makes me a man wealthy beyond measure."
-- stupidlyugly
Constantly Evolving
"I was 24 so at the top end of your spectrum but yes, in all honesty, I regret it."
"I am a completely different person now with new ideas, new goals, new views on marriage itself. I didn't give myself enough time to 'find myself' even though I had lived on my own for 6 years at the time."
"I wish I had waited until at least 30 or never gotten married at all. This is stuff my husband knows, we've talked about it a lot. It's not about him at all, it's about how I've changed."
"He hasn't changed along with me - I mean, he has changed of course (been married 17 years), but not in the same ways I have. That isn't a criticism of him at all, just the way it is."
-- DTownForever
Living Alone is Pretty Wonderful
"We got married when we were 18. It's been 20 years, and we've had a few rough patches, but I only have one regret. I'm almost 40, and I've never lived alone."
"I feel like we both missed out on an important part of growing up by not having that experience."
-- froggiehud
Be Ready
"I was 22, but my husband was 28. He's definitely one of the good ones. It's been 10 years, and he's still my best friend."
"However, I wouldn't recommend getting married young, or at all, if you aren't committed to communicating through the hard times and fighting for your marriage, because the hard times will come."
Lukewarm
"Started dating at 19, married at 24, divorced at 39."
"I don't know. Both she and I are in much better places now. I'd say it was a learning experience; but it was also an experience experience..."
"I don't regret my relationship with her. I regret how much we both let it drag on during some really passionless and tense years at the end. The last 7 years of our marriage we were basically room-mates."
-- boxed_monkey
No Rush
"It was the worst decision I ever made, and I do regret it. We got divorced. Just don't be in such a rush. You can always get married a little later!" -- queennbee
"I just don't plan on getting married at all. I believe in committed relationships, but people can change and/or situations can change. 1 year down the line, 10 years, etc. and the end will usually suck, but complicating it even more with divorce proceedings just seems like a good thing to avoid." -- QuasarsRcool
Thrilled as Ever
"Best decision of my life. I was 21. She was 20. We're mid 50s now and still happily together. 3 kids, 5 grandkids, and we're blessed with (or fortunate to have) enough health to enjoy them all."
"The way I see it, I married someone way too good for me, but she doesn't seem to realize it. Shhhh! Please don't tell her! I've got a great thing going here!"
-- blibbidyblam
20/20 Hindsight
"I was 17 and he was 20 when we got married. I had always been sheltered by my parents so didn't know how to make such life choice. I definitely married the wrong person. I thought I loved him but didn't really know what love was or what to expect."
"We were married for 4 years when I called it off. I just couldn't take anymore of his controlling crap. I married my parents so to speak."
External Factors
"I was with my husband at age 16, we got married at 20. We split up when I was 30. I don't regret it, we had a good 10 years of love that were actually nearly perfect."
"But then he got into heroin. That sucks the soul out of people. Say no to drugs, everyone."
Something More Important Than Timing
"Best. Second best was to not have kids."
"But it wasn't the "early" part that was or is important."
"The important question is 'is this the right person to spend the rest of your life with?'"
"If you have any reservations, it's not the right time. For you."
-- michaelh98
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Most couples are inseparable and enjoy doing everything together, thanks in part to shared mutual interests.
But on occasion, some people in relationships go off in pursuit of one-sided pleasures in secret for various reasons.
These can range from going out to a vegan restaurant when the other person is a carnivore to seeing a Netflix show that is too violent for a squeamish significant other.
Because not every significant other may not share the same passion, Redditors TheTinRam asked:
"What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?"

These Redditors needed some "me time."
Dad Time
"Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid 'helping' him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him."
– thecountnotthesaint
Story For No One
"I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, none of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories (most of them are short)."
– SuvenPan
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Staying up late for peace and quiet."
– Blue_OG_46
Chatting For One
"I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol"
– hottytoddy_sko
Naked And Sacred
"I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!"
– batchofbetterbutter
Some people need to get out of the house.
Self Therapy
"Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my 'problems' - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone."
"I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears."
– Humble-Plankton2217
Solo Slice
"My husband has gluten sensitivity. If he eats regular pizza, his stomach hurts for a couple of days after."
"Well, I don't, so sometimes I say I'm going for a run, and I do run.... to the pizza store, eat a slice, and run back."
– sohumsahm
Catching Up With The Boys
"Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time."
"It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some."
"Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not some emergency. So now we do it secretly."
– foh242
Some of the things people do behind their SO's backs is for endearing reasons.
Smooch Ploy
"I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead."
– str8outofabook
Catching Zzzs
"I love when she snores."
"She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy."
– ricdesi
Scent Of A Man
"Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good."
– he-whoeatsbugs
The Forever Admirer
"I have a whole album of 'unflattering' pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful."
– Dewahll
They say that a couple that plays together, stays together.
That's all well and good. However, a significant other having some alone time should never be stigmatized.
My husband and I usually watch every TV show together, but I watch Netflix's Ozark by myself because I enjoy intense dramas, immensely.
It's not a secret. And he's glad I watch the shows that I want to watch on my own time–just like I encourage him to watch all those UFO documentaries that he's obsessed with, by himself.
No really, watch them without me.
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"Do you know who I am?"
A question which often comes from an exasperated individual, who believes they are entitled to VIP treatment everywhere they go.
Occasionally, these people are indeed household names whom most everyone would likely recognize.
More often than not, however, people might need some reminding as to how or why said individual should be recognized.
Each and every time, though, the arrogant question is never justified, and is often greeted with an appropriate response.
Redditor brotherbrother99 was eager to know the best clap backs to this notorious question, leading them to ask:
"What is the best response to "'Do you know who I am?'"
That's starting to get old.
"I bet you use that line a lot."- michaelochurch.
Right back atcha!
"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"
"I AM!"- itskavia.
You tell me.
"No, who do you think you are?"- Random_puns.
I'll have to ask someone else.
“'Hey Brian, I’ve got a guy here who doesn’t know who he is!'"
"'Do you know who he might be?'”- llovejoy1234.
I'll take a guess
"Ronnie Pickering."- Shadow_0852.
I'm getting a sense...
"I know who you think you are."- automoth.
I'll help you figure it out.
"My husband was working in construction."
"A guy came onto the job site giving the workers a hard time about something or other."
"When he started yelling at my husband for whatever, my husband basically ignored him."
"The guy goes, 'do you know who I am?'”
"My husband yelled across the site to his foreman, 'Joe! Call an ambulance, this guy doesn’t know who he is!'”- Littlepaintbrush0814.
Gotcha!
"Yes, and I've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."- ShadyMyLady.
Rightfully put in their place.
"There is the old joke about the British Prime Minister eating out during the war time and asking for extra butter with his bread, the waiter refused to which the PM, rather annoyed, asked "'do you know who I am?'"
"To which the waiter replied, 'yes, I do, but rather importantly you have forgot who I am, I am the man who responsible for the rations of the butter'."- ScholarImpossible121
Of course, when people do dare to ask "do you know who I am", they never realize that the people they ask this immediately discover the answer.
Which is someone absolutely no one wants to be around.
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Moviegoers go to the cinema to be transported and forget–even for about two hours–about either the mundanity of their everyday lives or the stress of problematic situations.
But if there's one thing cinephiles roll their eyes at while watching a movie, it's the predictable plot twist or a typical scenario often depicted in films that lack imagination.
Curious to hear examples, Redditor cnukles1 asked:
"What's a movie trope you are sick and tired of?"

Hollywood tends to glorify and dramatize violence almost comically.
Brief Inconvenience
"When someone is stabbed/shot, limps around in pain for 30 seconds, then continues on as if nothing happened."
– FioreFalinesti
Instant Death
"On the flipside, it drives me nuts when bad guys get shot in the torso and drop dead immediately. They'd realistically have at least a few seconds if not minutes of consciousness."
– itguy1991
Smooth Recovery
"People being knocked out for hours and no brain damage."
– TankApprehensive3571
That doesn't happen in real life.
Atypical Casting
"The broke 'Single Mom' who looks like she could model for Victoria's Secret. On the flip side, male gangsters, drug dealers or prisoners who look like they could win a state bodybuilding championship."
– Johhnymaddog316
Unnecessary Extravagance
"Or same broke single mom with an awesome house and perfect clothes/hair. Can't they ever just dress like normal people and living in normal homes?"
– Expensive_Structure2
Disarming Explosives
"Bombs with helpful color-coded wires."
– SuvenPan
Inconvenient Birth
"There's a pregnant woman and she goes into labor right at the worst possible time. For drama of course."
– RogueKatt
When actions depicted on the screen are not plausible.
The Struggle Is Real
"Just once I'd like to see somebody struggle to find parking in Los Angeles."
– stupidlyugly
The Structure Of Romance
"You're a jerk and I have no interest in you despite the fact that you are incredibly handsome, charming, and funny. We have to work together to save the world but make no mistake about it, I can't stand you. Let's just get this over with so I never have to see you again."
"Whoops, we f'ked. I guess we're in love now."
– DickySchmidt33
Love Connections
"Every disaster movie, the love interest always works at a hospital."
– Terrible-Ad-4879
Let's Communicate Better
"When a simple conversation could have entirely solved the central conflict of the movie."
– Katarassein
If everything happened on screen the way it does in real life, would it diminish your moviegoing experience?
Some people just like watching characters make believable choices. But if that's the case, you may as well go outside and film your own movie.
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People Share Their Craziest 'You've Become The Thing You Swore To Destroy' Experiences
Life's viewpoints can be so different when you're younger, when you have your whole life ahead of you, when you think you're fighting back against some tyrannical power bent on keeping your rebel heart in check. It's then, in those rage-filled glory years, you might think, "I'll never become like them. I'm going to keep sticking it to the man."
But years pass, and before you know it, you are "the man."
Reddit user, Zealousideal-Golf984, wanted to hear about the time when you became that which you vowed to destroy when they asked:
"What is your "You have become the very thing you swore to destroy" moment?"
You know who you are right now?
Your parents.
Doesn't matter if you responded, "No I'm not!" to that statement. You are your mother. You are your father. And there's nothing you can do about it. Cue evil laughter.
Rhetorical Questions Abound
"I told my friend's kids they could have a toy if they didn't fight over it, and if they fought I would take it back, they agreed, then proceeded immediately fight over it when I turned around. Without any conscious input from my brain I span back and heard myself exclaim "What did I just say?!""
"And suddenly I was my mother."
ttnl35
Coming Round Full Circle
"I teach at my old high school lol literally have coworkers that have sent me to the principal’s office before"
Watchtwentytwo
It's Going To Rot Your Brain!
"Complaining to my son about him playing to much video games."
skwolf522
Nothing Better Than Plans Getting Cancelled
"Growing up, my dad hated going out. When we went on church outings, we were always the first family to leave. He just wanted to stay in and read the paper or watch tv. I vowed to never be as boring as him when I got older."
"Now that I'm older, nothing makes me happier than when plans get cancelled and I can just chill at home, and not worry about the commute or how much money I'd have to spend going out. Even if it's something I'm looking forward to like a band I really wanna see, part of me still wants to not go because of how crappy the late night commute will be."
YounomsayinMawfk
Where Do You Even Sit?
"My couch has no less than 8 decorative pillows on it. I am a monster."
MargotFenring
"This is the worst one"
lowtoiletsitter
You don't think the job changes you. "I'm never going to sell out to the man," you tell yourself as you wake up at 4am to make your commute to the office.
Little do you know...
It's In The Fine-Print Within The Fine-Print
"I make commercials for a living. I f-cking hate commercials to the core of my soul."
JhymnMusic
"Ugh dude same."
"I got hired as an animator at an agency not too long ago, so I figured I'd be doing lots of fun and flashy animations. I don't mind making commercials so long as they've got interesting visuals, which is something I greatly enjoy doing."
"I've been making glorified powerpoints about Medicare ever since I got hired. I've frequently received feedback to literally "make it less fun". A project I made 2 years ago, a fun and flashy internal use video, is getting a new iteration that I'll be doing soon. The old version made setting up web pages and product descriptions look interesting."
"They said they didn't like it and to "have less fun" with it, so I plan on being spiteful and making it f-cking awful to sit through. The problem with that is that I know that's exactly what they want."
"I'm reminded of the Pixies from Fairly Odd Parents, and how Timmy and the gang are the exciting antithesis of the drab corporate culture the pixies represent. I didn't think I'd become one. Lord help me."
Tokiw4
Karmic Payback Is Amplified In The Classroom
"I was in a computer class in high school and would drive the teachers nuts. I even had the other kids mocking the teachers by shouting out "on task!" whenever the teacher would start looking around to make sure we were working."
"I now teach a high school computer class. A student the other day stopped me before I could tell them to put their phone away and go back to work by saying "I know, I know, on task, on task".
"I was speechless and just left the student to return to my desk and rethink my life choices."
majorscud
Stopping People From Having Fun
"When I setup the website blocker on the company network. I spent so much of my childhood trying to get around those blockers at school, and now I'm the one setting it up."
"Edit: Admittedly, I'm not so evil as to block things for being categorized as "tasteless" like my school did, it's really just porn and illegal things, but I still feel slimy for doing it."
"Edit 2: Also, so be clear, I don't work at a school. My company does however employ a lot of Salesmen, and they're basically children, so..."
Nik_Tesla
Leaving The Grunt Work To Someone Else
"When I was an apprentice electrician it always pissed me off when my journeyman would make me do the hard manual parts of a job while he did the easier, but more technical work. I always swore that when I got my license and my first apprentice that I’d be different."
"That went out the window pretty quick."
Anakin_Skywanker
We're products of those who raise us. We take in what they do, what they say, and how they act to become the people the outside world gets to interact with.
It's critical we recognize this, for better or worse.
Seeing, Growing, Learning
"Sh-t, a looooong time ago (when I was 11 or so) I was walking across the school yard. My dad used to beat my butt when he was having a bad day and it really f-cked with me, so I was walking and just fuming, hating on him and how much of a tyrant he was for taking out his anger on me."
"Well, in that moment I bumped into a kid like 1/2 my size and he went to the ground. He hugged my legs (I think reflexively) and I just started pounding his face. I remember him crying, begging me to stop, the hatred, and then just a sudden moment of clarity. I realized I was a sh-tty person, that I was super mean, and that the kid I was hitting had done nothing wrong but was just a helpless target for my anger. I instantly flipped to empathizing for him, and saw myself for who I was. I can't describe the horror."
"I started crying and helping the boy up, we walked to the office together in tears and I ended up telling my principal everything. It was a long time ago, so they just decided to give me an in school suspension and not inform my parents."
"Also, that kid and I ended up exchanging SNES games and playing mtg/warhammer together a bunch in the following years. Andrew, dude, I can't apologize enough, and thank you so much for not leaving me in a hell of my own creation. Decades later and I still think about you, and how kind of a person you were, you changed a life, man."
"EDIT: Okay, just to clear up misconceptions and mass respond. This did not flip a switch and end my relationship with violence and anger. That took, well, up until today and then some. I still have anger that flares up and completely blinds me, but after decades, I'm not losing control or lashing out. Andrew wasn't one of the kids that I went after at school, I picked on kids that I thought were bullies, totally oblivious to the commonalities between me and them."
"I don't really have words for those of you that were bullied, or hurt while at school. Except that those of you that fantasize about beating up bullies now, as adults, need to find a better method for feeling empowered. You are literally just adult versions of playground bullies, we all had the kids that we thought were okay to victimize for some justification or another."
IonlyusethrowawaysA
We all have to grow up sometime.
Maybe don't worry so much about picking up that ice cream on the way home.
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