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People Who Married In Their Early 20s Explain Whether They Regret Their Decision Or Not

Image by nihan güzel daştan from Pixabay

There are so many cultural narratives about "being in your 20s."

We're supposed to explore, travel, educate ourselves, meet people, try new things and "get life experience," whatever that means.

But in the same breathe, people tell us we're not kids anymore, so we need to grow up, find a decent job, focus on career development, handle personal finances wisely, and consider the long view.

All the different advice is enough to make the head spin.

So it's no surprise that marrying early is a rather loaded concept. Choosing to tie the knot before 25 is a big commitment made a young age, there is no doubt about it.

A recent Reddit thread illustrated that while the decision is definitely not for everyone, it worked for plenty of folks out there.

sonOfTheSun28 asked, "People that married early (between 20-25), how has it impacted your life, do you regret it or was it the best decision you ever made?"

All Worked Out 

"I was 25, she was 23. It's been 10 years that we formed a couple, and 6 years married. She's currently on the PC, and I'm watching over our 7 months old baby."

"Pretty good decision to marry her."

-- OnTheList-YouTube

"Diplomacy"

"Got married at age 18. Still married to the same man at age 70. 51 years of diplomacy 💕" -- Dobba1969

"I can't wait to get here. My husband and I got married at 19/20, we are now both 27 and going strong. Been together since we were 15." -- bindsaybindsay

The Right Choice 

"No regrets. Been married since I was 24, I'm 50 now. Best. Woman. Ever. IMO." -- keltoy1549

"Early? I was 25 and thought it was kinda' late."

3 plus decades later, still laughing and enjoying married life. Here's some unsolicited advice; find someone who not only laughs at your jokes, but makes you laugh just as much. And have as many kids as you can afford, because they give you pure joy." -- originalmango

A Seamless Flow 

"My husband and I got married when we were both 23. We had already been living together for years, had combined finances, etc. so we had basically been married beforehand anyway."

"We went to the courthouse and got married by a justice of the peace. Then we went back to our apartment and back to our lives."

"Literally nothing changed lol. We're still very happy and own a home now with 2 dogs, so I'd say it worked out for us so far. Our 4th wedding anniversary will be in January."

-- glowbaby

Other Factors Besides Age 

"I have one friend who married his high school sweetheart when they were 18. They have 3 children and seem very happy and content. He is always talking about how much he loves his wife."

"I have another friend who married his college girlfriend once he graduated and hit 21. They moved to California and only lasted 2 years before he found out she was cheating on him. He has said numerous times that it was one of the biggest mistakes he has ever made."

"I guess it all depends on you, and the other person..."

-- Stevie-Avail

A Tumultuous Decade 

"We were 23 and 24 when we married, we had been together for 3 years then. That was 12 years ago, currently we are sipping coffee together while he plays a game and I browse reddit. He is hands down the best decision of my life."

"That being said, it wasn't easy especially in the beginning. It's been a lot of hard work and raw emotion getting to where we are today. We agree that that age range is a bit young and somewhat foolish to decide to marry, though sometimes it works."

"There's so much growth that takes place between 20-30, we were fortunate to grow together instead of apart."

-- SlackAsh

The Other Side 

"It was stupid. Wish I hadn't. I regret it to this day."

"Wrecked my life - she's got psychological problems and decided to ditch me a couple of months after marriage."

-- DavidHaller41

Inarguable Outcomes 

"I got married at twenty five. It lasted ten years or so. I can't regret it, because it produced the best daughter a guy could ever want."

"That alone makes me a man wealthy beyond measure."

-- stupidlyugly

Constantly Evolving 

"I was 24 so at the top end of your spectrum but yes, in all honesty, I regret it."

"I am a completely different person now with new ideas, new goals, new views on marriage itself. I didn't give myself enough time to 'find myself' even though I had lived on my own for 6 years at the time."

"I wish I had waited until at least 30 or never gotten married at all. This is stuff my husband knows, we've talked about it a lot. It's not about him at all, it's about how I've changed."

"He hasn't changed along with me - I mean, he has changed of course (been married 17 years), but not in the same ways I have. That isn't a criticism of him at all, just the way it is."

-- DTownForever

Living Alone is Pretty Wonderful 

"We got married when we were 18. It's been 20 years, and we've had a few rough patches, but I only have one regret. I'm almost 40, and I've never lived alone."

"I feel like we both missed out on an important part of growing up by not having that experience."

-- froggiehud

Be Ready 

"I was 22, but my husband was 28. He's definitely one of the good ones. It's been 10 years, and he's still my best friend."

"However, I wouldn't recommend getting married young, or at all, if you aren't committed to communicating through the hard times and fighting for your marriage, because the hard times will come."

-- sunspotshavefaded

Lukewarm 

"Started dating at 19, married at 24, divorced at 39."

"I don't know. Both she and I are in much better places now. I'd say it was a learning experience; but it was also an experience experience..."

"I don't regret my relationship with her. I regret how much we both let it drag on during some really passionless and tense years at the end. The last 7 years of our marriage we were basically room-mates."

-- boxed_monkey

No Rush 

"It was the worst decision I ever made, and I do regret it. We got divorced. Just don't be in such a rush. You can always get married a little later!" -- queennbee

"I just don't plan on getting married at all. I believe in committed relationships, but people can change and/or situations can change. 1 year down the line, 10 years, etc. and the end will usually suck, but complicating it even more with divorce proceedings just seems like a good thing to avoid." -- QuasarsRcool

Thrilled as Ever 

"Best decision of my life. I was 21. She was 20. We're mid 50s now and still happily together. 3 kids, 5 grandkids, and we're blessed with (or fortunate to have) enough health to enjoy them all."

"The way I see it, I married someone way too good for me, but she doesn't seem to realize it. Shhhh! Please don't tell her! I've got a great thing going here!"

-- blibbidyblam

20/20 Hindsight 

"I was 17 and he was 20 when we got married. I had always been sheltered by my parents so didn't know how to make such life choice. I definitely married the wrong person. I thought I loved him but didn't really know what love was or what to expect."

"We were married for 4 years when I called it off. I just couldn't take anymore of his controlling crap. I married my parents so to speak."

-- Think-Anywhere-7751

External Factors 

"I was with my husband at age 16, we got married at 20. We split up when I was 30. I don't regret it, we had a good 10 years of love that were actually nearly perfect."

"But then he got into heroin. That sucks the soul out of people. Say no to drugs, everyone."

-- PeachPitiless

Something More Important Than Timing 

"Best. Second best was to not have kids."

"But it wasn't the "early" part that was or is important."

"The important question is 'is this the right person to spend the rest of your life with?'"

"If you have any reservations, it's not the right time. For you."

-- michaelh98

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People Describe The Most Traumatizing Thing They Ever Experienced As A Child

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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childhood

People Divulge The Real Reason Why They're Still Single

Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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being single

Chefs Divulge The Most Important Tips That Amateur Cooks Need To Know

Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

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People Describe The Most Inappropriate Thing They Ever Did As A Kid

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As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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