Married Couples Explain What They Wish Single Folks Knew About Relationships
Some people prefer being single. They don't have to answer to anybody, they can play by their own rules, and they can continue going about their day-to-day without accommodating the needs of a significant other.
But that status of perpetual independence can eventually hit a breaking point.
It makes one wonder while being single can be a convenience, are we meant to live alone forever?
Unfortunately, avidly seeking out a relationship is a hit or miss, so an individual's situation can be out of their control.
But for those who are apprehensive about giving up their freedom to share a life with someone, married people imparted their wisdom when Redditor Charming_Cash asked:
"Married people of reddit, What something you wish unmarried people knew?"
Redditors reminded that maintaining a sense of self in a marriage was of great importance.
Being Good To Yourself
"Being married shouldn’t take away from having a good relationship with yourself."
The Power Of Three
"My wife's uncle officiated for us, as he has for other family members and friends. Before the ceremony he told us his 'theory of love and marriage.'"
"He said many, if not most people look at marriage as two becoming one, but that's not accurate, healthy, or stable over any length of time. He said it's not two becoming one, it's two becoming three; there's each of us as separate individuals, and then us together as it's own creation. Each of those three needs love and care and attention."
"I've found it to be incredibly hopeful, helpful, healthy advice."
Working On Yourself
"Your single problems will be your married problems. Marriage and your spouse can't fix you. Work on yourself as much as you can before you get married. For yourself and for your spouse."
Here are tips that may come in handy in the bedroom.
You Can Still Sleep Well
"It’s okay to use two blankets. No one likes to wake up with cold a** cheeks because your spouse stole the blanket."
Sides Of The Bed
"This was a game changer for us! We're both cold creatures but we both also like our space in bed. We'll cuddle for a few minutes then separate to our respective sides of the bed to actually sleep. We each have our own duvet and it works out perfectly!"
It Doesn't Work For Everyone
"i wish my wife liked her own space in bed, i woke up the other night and she was sleeping on top of me..literally no part of her body was on the mattress, it was all on me....i had to yeet her across the bed just so i could breath."
Once Upon Two Mattresses
"Along with two separate blankets we also have two twin xl mattresses on a king size frame so there's no energy transfer to the other side of the bed when one of us is shifting around or whatever. Also makes moving the bed setup much much easier than dealing with a floppy two-ton king size mattress."
These are things to keep in mind when considering tying the knot.
It's Not A Bandaid
"Getting married WILL NOT help solve any issues in your relationship..."
The Thing About Having Kids
"Totally agree with this and the same with the kids point too. I’ve always thought marriage adds extra pressure in the legal confirmation of you being together and the vows you make to one another."
"Children just add an extra layer of pressure were you have less time to devote to one another so any cracks that were in the relationship before will get blown into massive fissures which can be fixed. However if the relationship needed saving before the kids it is not going to last when that kids comes along I don’t think."
Making Time For Each Other
"Pretty well written, my wife and I had minor problems that could all be managed by just chatting and hanging out together. We made each other happy enough just by being together that the minor stuff wouldn't even be an issue, so when we had a kid (which has been largely awesome) and our time together got turned into time for our daughter, we started to fight a lot more. Make time for mom and dad dates without the kid(s) for the good of you both, you need some time to just hangout and love each other."
The Day Of The Nuptials
"The wedding is just one day and does not fix any issues. It goes back to the exact same relationship afterwards. And if you're lucky, that's a good thing."
Some good points here were mentioned, and I can agree with all of them.
I knew a couple who was about to spend some time apart due to work opportunities. Fearing the guy might drift apart from his girlfriend while he was working abroad for six months, he proposed to her at the airport as she was sending him off.
They never got married when his contract was over. Turns out he cheated on his girlfriend on several occasions while he was away.
So much for that proposal as insurance his heart would be forever true and faithful.