Married Couples Explain How They Turn Down Sex Without Offending Their Partner
Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay

Sex is a difficult subject to broach sometimes. Even when you're married sex can become a topic best left not discussed. But the truth is we have to talk about sex baby; especially in a relationship. If we as partners can't talk about, ruminate on it, ask for it and turn it down... then we have issues.

One truth about sex is... you just don't always want to do it. Yes, it's fun and healthy but, a long day is a long day and when you're not twenty anymore, you're not twenty anymore!!!

Sometimes you just want to watch Law and Order: SVU and cuddle. Ask me again tomorrow. There may be better ways to chat about this. Let's discuss...

Redditoru/That-Guy-AJSwanted to hear about the romantic inner workings of the married folk out here, by asking:

Married couples, how do you turn down sex, without offending your spouse?

Sex has broken up all of my relationships. And that's my fault. I would just cut it off more and more, and I should've explained why. I get bored easily. I should've mentioned that.


Tired Tom And Jerry GIF by HBO MaxGiphy

"I'm old.and tired, I'll do you tomorrow."

- Nothing_

"Oh! nurse mode!??"

"Honestly, it only happens when I am ill, usually she'll notice anyway, but if she doesn't, I just tell her in which she tends to switch into 'nurse mode' instead."

- IrishB_Cubed

"Oh! nurse mode!??"

"Wife: So basically you just want role play."

"Husband: no, no what I meant was..."

"Wife: now now calm down babe this wont hurt a bit..."

- purpleflowers55


"There comes an age where we all have decide early in the night, am I going to eat fettuccine alfredo or am I going to have sex? Both cannot happen in the same night."

- probabletrump

"My wife and I just had our anniversary. We had every intention of doing the deed after we got home from dinner. Nope, too much pasta."

- VEI8


"Want some chorizo con huevos?"

"Nah. I already have pants on. And I told you to stop calling it that."

"Cool. Grab on it if you change your mind."

- HeyJoe459

"(For those who don't know, Chorizo is a type of sausage and huevos mean eggs) Also, lmao."

- 3lyri3


Hungry Full House GIFGiphy

"No babe, I'm full of ravioli."

- amblerina

Although, one really must watch their ravioli intake. It can compromise everything. When you're full, you can't concentrate.


Dance Reaction GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised."

- OhLawdTheyTalkin

People Share Dark Secrets From Their Profession The Public Doesn't Know | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

Communication is Key

"When she says no I roll back over and go to sleep lol. We have a really communicative relationship, so a no not tonight never hurts either of our feelings."

- Spcone23

"This sounds ideal. My ex used to get so offended when I would say no. Most of the time it would be because it was like 3 am and I'd have to be up for work the next morning. It wasn't that I didn't want it. I just really needed my sleep."

- thequietthingsthat

Hole Me

"I learned this from my failed marriage. I just wanted to cuddle sometimes but it always had to lead to sex. I have a new BF these days and we started going down the same path. I was just really open and honest. I said I need to be able to hug and kiss without it being sexual. So we're just very up front."

"I'll ask for platonic hugs. He'll ask if a snuggle session is platonic or not. I'm really glad I caught it early because it was definitely a main factor in my marriage dying. Being able to cuddle and snuggle with no pressure of anything else is so important for both women and men."

- MrHobbes14

This is the way...

"I've been married for 25 years. This is the way... These days, we can have this conversation in about 5 seconds with no words. I look at her, she looks at me... and either grab chocolate and turn on Netflix or go make a human pretzel. (Followed by Netflix and chocolate, and some water)."

- klenow

In January...

"Turned down sex with my soon to be ex wife once. One time in 5 years, naturally she had told me no 1000x. Me being tired and in pain from a shoulder surgery, said that I just wanted to sleep… we never had sex again. That night marked the beginning of a cycle of silent treatment, avoidance, and arguments which led to her leaving one evening while I was out. That was in January, she now has a new boyfriend, and our divorce will be finalized next month."

"Edit: yeah, most all of you are spot on and thanks a lot for the sentiments. This was not the sole reason for her leaving or for the divorce but was the event that set it all in motion. I learned many more disturbing things in the months after she left. So yeah, it was a blessing that it happened so early and I will come out ahead in the end. To whoever said borderline personality disorder. Most definitely. Ever heard of a sociopathic liar? Love makes fools of us all. I just didn't know it was by her design."

- Mule3434

No Pressure

the oc couple in bed GIFGiphy

"Because we don't put any pressure on sex. Been with my wife for 10 years. We have a happy sex life but sometimes our bodies or minds aren't in the mood and that's perfectly ok, with both of us."

- J_Krezz

Don't overthink the sex. If you want it, do it. If you don't, say why. Communication is key, especially when it comes to the carnal.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.