No Wedding Bell Blues
[rebelmouse-image 18352442 is_animated_gif=Your wedding registry is your chance to dream a little about what you'd like to have. You can put anything on it, practical or not. But some newlyweds regret what they asked for after it collects dust for years. And others lament what could have been had they only known what to ask for.
So Reddit user crazygoatlady3 asked "Married people of Reddit - what should you ask for on your wedding registry that you didn't think of at the time?"
Some smart folks shared things they did ask for and never regretted, while others shared their tales of woe. Here's the best advice of the bunch.
Wish Fulfillment
[rebelmouse-image 18352443 is_animated_gif=What you do with your registry: get the stuff you really wanted, but never truly buy for yourself.
Honey-Do
[rebelmouse-image 18352444 is_animated_gif=Not married yet, but getting married this weekend! But my fiance and I wish we put more honeymoon-specific things on our registry. Someone just paid for us to go on a sunset cruise next week and it was such a great idea that we wished we had thought of doing more things like that.
See if you can buy tickets to an event or vouchers for something at your honeymoon in advance!
Going Online
[rebelmouse-image 18352445 is_animated_gif=The biggest mistake would be registering at a traditional store like Bed, Bath, and Beyond.. Do yourselves a favor and register on Amazon. This way, you're only limited by your imagination, and you get far more selection this way. It's also way easier for people to have the items shipped to their house instead of potentially going to a store.
It was one of the smartest moves we made before our wedding, and we scored a bunch of camping gear, my wife got some fancy shoes, I got a nice fishing pole, and we still got the traditional kitchen junk.
Keep It Simple
[rebelmouse-image 18352446 is_animated_gif=When it comes to dinnerware - stuff you can replace consistently and easily, stuff that always has been and always will be available. Because you end up with a mishmash of incomplete sets after a few years.
Corelle plates, normal plain glass tumblers, that kind of thing. That stuff that you really like the cool design of it? Yeah, pieces break and you'll never find that set again.
So I'm saying all across the board, put normal classic stuff on your list that's always been around and always will be around.
Tech Savvy Seniors
[rebelmouse-image 18352447 is_animated_gif=If someone tells you to register at a traditional store (lookin' at you ma) because "older relatives and friends might want to go to a store", ignore them and register where you want. The older folks are more technologically savvy than either of you realize.
Something Special to Share
[rebelmouse-image 18352449 is_animated_gif=My husband and I asked for two nice royal blue Fiestaware dinner bowls. The color makes your food really pop. We only eat out of them if it's just the two of us. They are our marriage bowls and make us feel happy to share a meal out of them.
Cruising Along
[rebelmouse-image 18347725 is_animated_gif=My cousin's registry, her family is big into cruises and her honeymoon was like a three week cruise and the registry was contributing for all the excursions.
Handy
[rebelmouse-image 18352450 is_animated_gif=Tools. A good saw, socket set, drill, anything really... would sure have come in handier than all these damn cake pans. WE'RE NEVER BAKING A MULTI TIERED CAKE WHY DO WE HAVE THESE!
Trashy
[rebelmouse-image 18352451 is_animated_gif=My husband couldn't believe I wanted to register for a really nice kitchen garbage bin. It cost almost $200. It definitely wasn't something I'd go out of my way to spend that money on on my own, but it's something I always wanted. He made fun of me forever for how excited I got when someone bought it for us. Five years later we use it every single day, and our kitchen doesn't smell no matter what goes in there. Best gift ever!
Slip Sliding Away
[rebelmouse-image 18352452 is_animated_gif=My husband had this great idea that we would put an automatic soap dispenser on our registry, but instead of filling it with soap we'd fill it with lube. That way it would be on our nightstand at all times but still look discreet and you wouldn't have to go digging around in a drawer when you needed some.
Well someone bought it for us and when we finally went to use it the whole setup worked wonderfully. We both thought we were super cool and afterwards went to bed. The next morning the nightstand was covered in lube! I guess it's too slippery and was able to slide out. Not only did we end up loosing out on a lot of expensive lube, but my husband's cell phone was on the nightstand charging and it died covered in lube.
So I guess that's the opposite of your question. Something we asked for that we wished we hadn't.
DIY
[rebelmouse-image 18352453 is_animated_gif=My husband and I had already been living together for 6 months and we blended two House holds of stuff. We asked for Lowe's and Home Depot gift cards. Best gifts ever. New sinks and bathroom tile is what we got with those.
All The Small Things
[rebelmouse-image 18352454 is_animated_gif=Cleaning stuff. Bedding. Towels. Rugs. Curtains. Light bulbs. All the little things really really add up.
KitchenAid Mixer. These things last forever. You will at some point go into crazed like baking spell for a month or so.
Sheets
[rebelmouse-image 18352455 is_animated_gif=Sheets, so very many sheets. Stack them up in a closet. Break out a fresh new set when needed.
A Good Vacuum
[rebelmouse-image 18352456 is_animated_gif=Towels. You can never have too many.
And a good vacuum. I cannot stress this enough
Sharp Thinking
[rebelmouse-image 18352457 is_animated_gif=A good kitchen knife.
As someone who loves cooking, I cannot stress this enough. A good knife is arguably the most important kitchen item to own. I would also add on a sharpening stone (5 min on youtube will teach someone how to properly sharpen) and a honing steel to keep the sharp edge. A sharp knife is not only extremely helpful but it's also a hell of a lot safer compared to a dull one (clean cuts versus tearing cuts work on other meats outside of chicken and beef if you know what I mean).
I'd recommend Wustoff as a solid brand. I've had my set of three knives (chef's knife, 4" boning knife, 3" paring knife) for over 5 years now and they're sharp enough to conduct surgery with. Take care of your knives and they'll be something you keep with you for a long long time.
Go High End
[rebelmouse-image 18352458 is_animated_gif=Quality over quantity... register for the high end stuff. Instead of some lower end 16-piece pot/pan set, 2-3 great All-Clad or Le Cruset ones.
Rubber Spatulas
[rebelmouse-image 18352461 is_animated_gif=We got flooded with rubber spatulas, cutting boards, crock pots, muffin tins, two full sets of whisks (3 whisks per set), etc.
Let's be honest, you only really need a few rubber spatulas, like 2 cutting boards, one crock pot, and one muffin pan.
We got a salad spinner that we've never used in the history of ever.
Focus on the other rooms too! Blankets, sheets, duvet covers, vacuums, etc.
One thing I wish we had received was like double the amount of plates and bowls. Only one person gifted us one set of 4 each (big plate, small plate, bowl), and I want at least double that. If not more.
Mr. Peanut
[rebelmouse-image 18352462 is_animated_gif=My husband registered for 5 lbs of peanuts on Amazon for our wedding. I thought it was silly and was convinced no one would buy it.
Sure enough, one of his friends bought that body bag of nuts for him. Husband proceeded to carry it from room to room like an infant he was slowly cannibalizing, munching on these peanuts for months.
I should have registered for a broom and a dust pan. I was sweeping that up forever.
Too Much of a Good Thing
[rebelmouse-image 18352463 is_animated_gif=Don't ask for too many kitchen items. You'll end up storing them and rarely using them.
Think smarter: Towels, sheets, etc. Things you KNOW you will need.
Steel Bowls
[rebelmouse-image 18352464 is_animated_gif=We asked for and received a set of stainless steel bowls for the kitchen. Used for everything and outlasted most of the other kitchen stuff we received.
My late paternal grandmother gave me a set of stainless steel mixing bowls for Christmas in 1979. I was a senior in college, and they were intended to outfit my first real apartment. Almost 40 years later, I am a grandfather, and my wife and I still use those bowls.
Wise people tend to glorify the past for good reason. Simpler times seemed to indicate just that. Less life drama.
While many technical advances have also made our current life easier, it certainly has come with its share of complications that never existed prior to another time.
Curious to hear from strangers online, one Redditor asked:
"What was actually better in the past?"
People found traveling, particularly flying, was less dramatic back in the day.
Travel Scene
"Airports."
– Ron_deBeaulieu
"This is true. We used to go to the airport to go to the cafe within the airport, watch the planes take off, people watch."
– Botryoid2000
Comfort In The Skies
"Flying in general."
"More seat space, meals included (and a choice of meals), actual metal utensils, luggage included, no need to get to the airport 2 hours before your flight..."
– cinemascifi
A Proper Send-Off
"And you could say goodbye to your friends at the gate. Get there early before the flight and grab a leisurely meal with them. Man, airports used to be fun."
– Ron_deBeaulieu
TSA Efficiency
"In the 90s airport security took half as long."
– oarngebean
Many Redditors believe living in the present is a huge economical inconvenience.
Income Injustice
"Prices vs earnings."
– Jimbruno55
Parenthood Crisis
"Psh. Try childcare. Our childcare cost for two children is more than our mortgage. When I was the same age, it cost my parents about $50/week. Today that would be roughly $135/week per kid. We’re paying $500/wk and still don’t have full time care for both kids. Sh*t’s crazy."
– JsDaFax
Criminals seemed to have a field day once upon a time.
Untraceable
"Being a criminal. If there was a security camera, it was too low resolution to make your face very identifiable."
– Delica
Before CSI
"also DNA analysis and fingerprinting wasn't as good, no Internet to track you."
– ScorpionX-123
Leaving The Country Undetected
"It used to be that it was possible for someone to commit a serious crime, move across the country, and never be caught. As communications technology has improved, that’s no longer feasible."
– RealHumanFromEarth
How people occupied their time in the past seemed to be more favorable.
The Life-Line Device
"Smart phones too, Reddit is the only social media I use and still I stare at this f'king thing 5 hours a day. I know I’m addicted to it and I’d love to punt it but unfortunately it’s also my phone, my map, my camera, my tape measure, my dictaphone, my Walkman etc. etc."
– tarkuspig
The sentiment that the past was better stems largely from nostalgia.
Aside from accessing our Gameboys and Tamagochis, my friends and I would ride our bikes or skateboard out in the cul-de-sac.
We would scrape our knees from falling, get knocked to the ground playing freeze tag, and come home with dried mud on our clothes from a day of roughhousing.
It was some of the best times of my childhood, and I feel for today's youth who still have the option of playing outside but choose to live on their iPads and iPhones instead.
They don't know what they're missing, TBH. Maybe it's just me.
Having a dope supportive partner is seriously a game changer, fam.
I'm not suggesting that a person can't achieve success without a relationship. Not at all. What I'm saying, is if you're going to choose to do a team project, it helps when your teammate doesn't suck.
But a moment of honesty - a lot of us have no idea what an amazing partner looks like. If relationships of obligation or convenience, are all you've ever seen, then how could you?
Amazing doesn't look like that at all.
Reddit user Sylva_Glow asked:
"People with an amazing partner, what makes them so amazing?"
Here's what people had to say.
Awareness
"She is self aware."
"Says things like, 'I may have been being selfish', 'You have a good point', and 'I’m sorry'. I do the same and try to admit my faults, and stop on a dime in an argument and say 'I’m sorry, I’m being unreasonable, let’s back up'. "
"In essence we both are pretty good at admitting and accepting each other’s and our own frailties. It’s rare to be with a partner like that."
"Also, she has a hilarious laugh and sense of humor, and though she doesn’t feel so, she’s hilarious."
- Mykneeisbig
"This is huge, same with my wife an I. We can argue about a subject and politely disagree, but we both take turns listening to each other's opinions and 9/10 we both start cracking jokes."
- Woah_man34
"This is so vital. I'm so glad you found someone who does this with you."
- Wonderful-Custard-47
Together Crankiness
"When we're both cranky for silly or small reasons, but we're cranky together, not at each other."
"It reminds me we're always partners, never adversaries."
- MedicalMud53
"How do you achieve this together-crankiness? Sounds way better than being cranky at each other."
- thekindwillinherit
"I’m not the person you asked, and it certainly doesn’t work automatically with everyone, but in a relationship, every issue can be an 'us' issue. Even if it’s leaving the toilet seat up."
"If you have a complaint about your partner, think of it more as a discomfort you’re feeling that they can help you with, and approach it as a problem you can both solve together."
"Have an open and honest discussion about the disconnect and what you bring to the table that is causing the tension as well as what you could bring to help. Therapists often actually suggest visualizing it as sitting side by side at a table, looking at the problem on the table together."
"In hindsight I kinda talked about conflict resolution instead of 'together-crankiness' but it’s kind of the same thing."
"We’re all just doing the best we can with what we’ve got. If you’re cranky about something, let your partner in. Give them a seat on your side of the table and tell them that you’re cranky, why, and whether or not they can help and how."
"The best part about a loving relationship is feeling like you’re teamed up with someone against the world."
- blurredsagacity
No Doubt
"Simple: because no matter what, I never doubt in my mind that he loves me more than anything."
"I never worry about him leaving/cheating on me. I can be my complete, authentic self around him. Even when we fight, I know it's just a temporary tiff that we'll talk about later when we've cooled down."
"But, most of all, I know that whatever he's doing or wherever he is, he'll always stop it to drive however far to come help me if I'm in a bad situation/mood."
"Not many people have a partner like that, so I'm sincerely grateful that I lucked out in finding mine 😇❤"
- cloudgirl150
"This is really cute, happy for you :)"
- NeaZerros
"Yay! This is me and my partner too! I love to hear when people have found 'their person' too. Everyone should feel as cozy and loved by their partner as we do!"
- jocietimes
Genuinely Interested
"My husband is genuinely interested in everything I do, no matter how mundane it is."
"When I dragged him to 3 different stores to find a specific mascara, he asks about what makes it so great & then will geek out & read up about cosmetic formulations."
"When I told him a certain lip patch helped heal my cracked nipples from breastfeeding, he started reading up over other potential breastfeeding injuries & how people handle them."
"He doesn’t do it to lord his 'expertise' over me or anything, he’s genuinely excited to just ask me about everything."
"Oh & he started giving me daily massages when I was pregnant & I still get them now. Our daughter is 3."
- eraser_dust
Perfect Match
"The way he still looks at me."
"When I get out of the shower and there's lunch waiting for me."
"How some nights he wakes up in the middle of the night and pulls me closer to him because I've moved too far away or even when he pulls me closer in all situations."
"How he lays in bed with me every morning even though he'd rather go sit on the couch and wake up."
"The sacrifices he makes for me everyday."
"That he tries his best to make sure I am smiling. He's always there when I need him no matter the time or place. There are so many things that he does every day to let me know he loves me."
"Ah. He is just..a perfect match for me. We have our rough times and we get frustrated with each other, but he always treats me with kindness, respect, and love no matter what mood he is in."
"We always make sure to communicate our problems and at the end of most days we go to bed with a smile on our faces."
- vsprintffdgh
Charming Little Things
"Omg, I have a list of notes as to reasons why I love my boyfriend all saved up in my phone. Someday I'm going to gift them to him somehow."
"While the big things matter very much, like how our whole relationship he has helped and stuck by me thru a disability, it's also all the little things that matter every day."
"He prefers Onion Rings over French Fries. However, when we go out to eat together, he will pick fries as a side with his meal so he can share them with me since I don't like onion rings."
"In the mornings, he will block my hand with his so the dog can't lick my hand and wake me up."
"He sees when my phone charge is low and will bring me a charger even when I didn't realize it."
"Whenever he has the cheese out, he sets aside a slice for me."
"When he gets out of bed, he turns his pillow towards me knowing I'm going to steal it."
"If I pour myself more milk then I can finish, he drinks the rest so I don't feel bad about wasting it."
"I couldn't go out in the snow once, so he went out and drew hearts in the snow that I could see from the window."
"He'll sing songs to the pets, dance around the kitchen, squeak when he laughs, use the oven mitt like a dinosaur, and say "aww" while playing Animal Crossing."
"He sends me memes, and twirls the same piece of hair in the front of his head when he's distracted."
"He's amazing! I'm charmed by him every single day!"
- da_throwawayaccountt
Name That Tune
"I randomly whistle a 4-6 note tune while doing tasks."
"And lately she's been guessing them with about 60-70% success rate. It's cute when she tries hard and she lights up with this glow when she gets it right."
"No one gets me but her."
"Married in our teens and about to celebrate our 14 yr anniversary."
- pds_king21
Meow
"Accepting me for every. single. quirk."
"I was pretty pessimistic about relationships when we went on our first date so I am lucky that I have never faked one situation or personality or even had to present 'my best self.' "
"Small example - I had an ex that I thought was perfect for me. I'm a f*cking weirdo so once I meowed at him. He told me not to do that."
"I meow at my now fiancé and he meows right back."
- Tomoyo_in_Transwise
"F*ck your ex. I can tell what my wife wants from the type and tone of her meows. My wife is very much human and yes, we are both weird."
"And yes, I do meow right back to her as well."
- jayuscommissar
"Meowed at my partner today and he booped me. That’s when you know it’s real"
- AnotherLemonSucker
Her Brilliant Mind
"Her intellect."
"When I met her 30 years ago there was fierce physical attraction between both of us, but what won me over was her brilliant mind. She is the smartest person I have ever met."
"Quick witted, a great conversationalist, and turned out to be the best mother to our daughter that I could have ever asked for. She is very loving and caring and puts family before almost everything."
"Two years ago I lost my father to the delta variant of Covid-19. It was the worst experience of my life. I don't know what I would have done with her strength and support. I didn't think I would make it through the funeral, but having someone you trust completely walking with you step by step makes a huge difference."
"I hope you all have a partner as good as mine to share your lives with."
- wormtail71
Just Do It
"My wife is just a go getter."
"She wanted to learn carpentry, so she did."
"Wanted a better job and she got it."
"When she wants to achieve something she just does."
- daboot013
"Mine rolled her eyes at me for wanting a macramé owl. I don't know why I wanted one, but I always did."
"Some people think they're tacky, and maybe they are."
"She's from a country that didn't have them. She never understood why I wanted one."
"Last year, in secret, she watched a bunch of YouTube videos, taught herself how to make a macramé owl and then made me one for our house and we put it up by the front door."
- fugaziozbourne
Well that was all painfully adorable.
What about you, dear readers? Do you have incredible amazing partners who show you how dope partnership can be?
Tell us about them!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Have you ever gotten ready to do something that you think will only take a minute or two, but end up taking a lot longer?
Like when you try to print a paper at the library before class, only to find out several other students had the same idea. Or when you decide you can finish the Powerpoint for your work presentation during your lunch break, only to realize it needs to be way more in-depth than you first thought.
Chances are, you've been in this situation before. I certainly have! I can't even count the number of times I have given myself two minutes to microwave a meal only to realize my roommate needs it too (and got to it first) and I don't actually have the meal I planned to eat, meaning I need to spend some time figuring out what to eat instead.
Redditor hungrytiredandbored was curious about what other things take longer than they should, and asked:
"What always takes way longer than it should?"
As If Standing In Line Isn't Annoying Enough
"People buying lottery tickets ahead of you in line at the convenience store/gas station. 'What's number 5? Hmm... what's number 8? Okay, I'll take a number 13, and straight box on the daily 4.'
"They should have a separate line for that. It's so damn annoying."
– DTownForever
Worst Printed Ever
"Printing a document on an HP printer."
"oh you'd like to print a document? You have to create an account with HP. Now let me tell you about our subscriptions services."
"HP. I don't want to create an account. Just make my printer work with my laptop and phone. This is why nobody over 40 owns a printer anymore. You make trash products, HP."
– Ganglebot
It's Not That Hard!
"Doing anything at the counter of the post office. I have no clue what takes everyone in front of me so...long..."
– 8BitSk8r
"Love when you go there to drop off one (1) pre-labelled package and the dude in front of you has never mailed a damn letter before and won't listen when the clerk tries to explain it to him. I hope they introduce self-service machines here at some point so I can just skip the entire thing."
– Jealous_Hospital
Chew, Chew, Chew, Swallow
"My kids eating dinner. Just F**KING EAT IT."
– User deleted
"My 2 year old, an hour before dinner: I'M HUNGRY, I WANT SNACKS! SNAAAAAACK!"
"My 2 year old, with dinner on the table: I'M NOT HUNGRY / I DON'T WANT IT! GIMMIE PB&J!"
"My 2 year old, when it's time for bed: BUT I GOTTA EEEEEEAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT!!!"
– terrrrrible
Not So Fast Food
"The fast food order of the car in front of me. This menu hasn’t changed in years - what could you possibly be talking about? Do you know the person taking orders? Is this a personal conversation? Did you not know what you wanted to eat before pulling into the line?"
– WackyBones510
The Longest Line On Earth
"The DMV. I'm 37 years old and somehow I STILL haven't learned it's never a quick in and out."
– Justaguywholikeswine
"Im 26 and have been on line for 32 years"
– twoduvs
Never-Ending Goodbye
"Standing at the door waving your in-laws goodbye"
– NecessaryImmediate93
"My family will be like, "Ok well we should probably go" then immediately stand up, gather their sh*t, thank us for having them over, and leave."
"My in-laws say they should probably leave soon, start a conversation about something, ask if I can take a look at a laptop that isn't working, etc - 45 minutes later their putting their shoes on to go."
"Like, if you're going to stay - then stay, that's totally fine. But I hate waiting in limbo to see if they are going or not. It's unsettling."
– Ganglebot
No Such Thing As A Quick Meal
"Meal prep. I often underestimate how long will take to make dinner by 50+%."
– Pretend_Airline2811
"I came here to say this. Recipe says prep will take 15 minutes, actually takes 45. 30-minute meal? Definitely over an hour."
– LeafyMagician
Just Need A Bit Of Cash
"People at ATM booths"
– peanutbuttercake85
"Yup. If you're in a hurry and just need to take out a twenty guarunteed the person in front of you is a 70 year old who is apparently using the ATM to put a second mortgage on their house"
– randyboozer
Get Me Out Of Here!
"Getting away from an unwanted conversation."
"I've Uh'huh'd 5 times and am looking at the door. Take the hint."
– PM_ME_CUTE_FEMBOYS
Life is a journey, and slow and steady wins the race. Of course, all the clichés in the world don't change the fact that some things should go quickly but don't.
You can't always make things move faster, but you can control how you react to the low speed. If we learn how to cope, we may just find a little more zen.
People Break Down The Most F**ked Up Thing Someone's Ever Said To Them
It's a fact of life that people can be brutal. Whether it's because a person is downright cruel or because he or she is drunk or angry, they can say some awful things.
My Indian aunt once mistakenly thought a cousin of mine was my daughter and told me American teenagers were trashy and stupid. I don't talk to that aunt anymore...
There is never an excuse to be that cruel, but that doesn't stop people from behaving that way.
Curious about this, Redditor Brilliant-End9428 asked:
No Excuse For Cruelty
"Mum's (59) boyfriend got mega drunk a few weeks back, told her that he was "only with her because he pitied her""
"Drunk or not, she wasn't having that. Back to being single."
– astrielx
Worst SIL Ever
"My sister-in-law was joking about how there aren't any male children that will "carry on the family name" when she knows full well that I lost my son at birth."
– otherm0ther
Wrong Reason To Have A Child
""You were our last attempt to save the marriage""
"Thanks, mom. Glad to know I was a failure straight out of the gate."
– Papa_Smurf87
Their Loss
""You're too ugly to buy ice cream from." - Some b**ch to me @ 15"
– Dividebynegativezero
Undeserving Of Being A Father
"When I was 11 my father (who I hadn't seen in 5 years b/c of divorce) showed up at a family Christmas and calmly asked me to not call him 'dad' b/c his new kids didn't know I existed."
– marshfield00
Grandmas Shouldn't Have Favorites
"I was 7 or 8 and I told my grandmother I wanted to be a doctor when I grew up. She told me I would never be smart enough and that I'd be lucky to one day be my cousin's house cleaner."
"My cousin was her favorite grandchild."
"I'm 32 and I still remember it so vividly."
– Jackie_13
ATM
"I hope you realize I'm only using you for your money"
--warlordwinters
No Good Reason For Saying This
"My grandmother and grandfather told 7yr old me if my mom kills herself and my dad dies in Afghanistan they would rather see me rot on the streets than taking me in"
– sugarhornyicetea
That's Not How It Works
"Just dont be depressed. Like bro..."
– SpeakablePerson
No matter who it was that said something that cruel to you, know that you deserve better (and that it might be time to cut someone out of your life).