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People Imagine What Marriage Would Be Like If You Had To Periodically Renew A Contract

Gone are the days when the Catholic Church reigned supreme, when ending marriage was condemned by God and law.

Now, ending a marriage does not doom both parties to the fires of Hell. But a divorce does bring lawyers and their fees, an earthbound kind of hellfire. But what if there was a compromising approach?


One Redditor imagined a different scheme. Rather than a marriage deemed permanent until decided otherwise, they picture a scheme that somehow offers more freedom while tightening the screws. It's all a matter of perspective.

If all marriages were composed of short-term contracts that bind parties to that timeline, people might feel trapped, paranoid. But perhaps the open possibility of walking away after the relatively short life of the contract provides some ease.

After all, perpetuity has never jived well with the chaotic, evolving desires of human beings.

LGon007 asked, "If marriages were 5 to 10 year contracts with options to renew if both parties accept, how would the world be different?"

A Dystopian Vision

"It's a new nightmare. An entire industry rises up to create even more traditions for Renewal Celebrations, and now you have to attend ever more elaborate parties, destination Renewals, and even the more subdued homespun Renewals require at least buying a nice bottle of scotch."

"I probably couldn't afford to keep up with more than two friends at the rate of this particular scenario that's all entirely in my head."

dojowit

The Bureaucratic Lens

"Happily married people would have to wait in a long annoying a** line every 10 years and it will put everyone in a bad mood."

"Marriage re-up officers will be rude and condescending because of all the dumba** general public they have to deal with everyday."

Twokindsofpeople

Giphy

Logic Reapplied 

"Same as phones."

"I'm pretty happy with the one I have now, and even though new ones are thinner and better looking, I just can't justify the expense of switching."

The_Town_of_Canada

Abuse is Already Against the Law...

"It may make it easier for abuse victims to get out of abusive marriages. Sometimes the process of a divorce is a big factor in why some people stay." - danitheteleportingst

"As if an expired document would keep control freaks out of your life." - Kimarous

Could be Many Five Year Deals...

"There would be less marriages. If you're going into it thinking 'this is a five year deal,' why even bother?" - ElectricalRule0

"Plenty of people get married for other reasons. Citizenship, pregnancy, benefits, arranged marriages, impulse, and so on." - WaxonJaxon

Ahead of Their Time

"My aunt and uncle have what they call 'The Meeting' every anniversary where they both have to agree to continue the marriage for another year. They eat good food, drink good beers, air some grievances, and in the end they both sign on for another year."

corndog161

A New Pie to Take a Piece Of

"Even more things for lawyers to get involved in and charge you for." - jjwondor

"Lawyer here salivating and rubbing my hands together with a devilish grin." - kryptos19

The Law is the Law

"I think it would cause many people to try harder when it came to maintaining the relationship."

"When someone has promised to stay with you no matter what, through sickness and in health, until you die, it's really easy to get complacent."

moniker5000

Checking In is Healthy

"It might actually make people happier. If you both wanted to stay married then the faith and trust you have is reaffirmed. Some people might split who otherwise would not without the push this gives. So instead of staying together in misery they'd just move on."

gmoney1259

Weighing Options, Hedging Bets

"Increased distrust, particularly toward the end of the contract, as both would suspect the other to be looking for new opportunities."

"Each would feel the other's distrust and invest less in their partner, fueling the relationship's down spiral."

FreeShadows

That's One Way to Give Agency

"I would add a twist where the children every 10 years will be forced to participate in some type of Hunger Games or Battle Royale to determine if they're fit to continue as members of the family."

-- Knee_Jerk_Sydney

All Logistics

"Less stability. More cheating if people are already with one foot out the door. More child psychological issues. And a whole lot of asset problems." -- MrsCompootahScience

"People would also be much less willing to buy a house or have kids together if divorce was the 'default choice.' Your spouse could swear up and down that they'll sign the renewal document, but how can you be sure?" -- MisfitPotatoReborn

Short Term Contracts for all the Hedonists

"Petitions will be signed to reduce the number of years." -- justhorny000

"People would want to buy out their contracts early. The median duration of a marriage in America is 8 years." -- My_Dog_Rolls_In_Poo

We'd All Spend WAY More Time Flirting

"Marriage is like agriculture but for mating. It saves the time that would have been spent on looking for a mate and let's us focus on other things."

"5-10 years is too short of a span. It would probably mean less couples having kids and in general an increase in anxiety levels."

-- Samruddhi0890

The Opportunist Take

"Probably outlawed by most strands of Christianity and other religions."

"And super unlikely that it would ever exist as technically, marriage is a vow before the government."

"But me, a wedding photographer? Yeehaw $$$$$"

-- Graciey48

Aren't People Hedging Already?

"While a nice concept in principle, I suspect most people would find themselves hedging as the terms approached. So it would result in less marital stability and higher divorce rates."

-- risk_is_our_business

Outlining the Legitimate Beefs

"Communication between spouses would improve. As a lawyer friend of mine once said (in the context of a lease, but it still applies): contracts outline expectations."

"With the rise of semi-custom legal services (think LegalZoom), couples would have templates outlining the things they should discuss before marriage."

"Spouse getting fat, overusing substances, not going to the dentist, thinking about quitting their job, or spending too much time with their friends? Refer to the contract!"

-- futuresquid

Hot Drama During the Ramp-Up to Contract

"Celebrity news gossip would be even more rampant, another thing for them to speculate about every time a married couple's contract is about to be up."

-- Xelisyalias

People Describe The Brokest They've Ever Been

Reddit user Krisrunnintina asked: 'What’s the brokest you’ve ever been?'

ramen in white bowl

Mae Mu on Unsplash

For many people, the difference between being housed and unhoused is a single paycheck.

For some it's a matter of money management, but for most it's the lack of a living wage for many jobs. Add a poor social safety net and poverty is always a footstep away.

Let's face it—many people have lived with a zero balance in their bank account and bills to pay and empty cupboards.

Keep reading...Show less

With the elaborate costs of the wedding industry, starting with the engagement ring and going all the way up through the honeymoon and anniversary plans, there are those who will spend all the money and those who will look for savings.

While getting married is absolutely worth spending the money on, how much money is spent is not necessarily reflected of how much the two people love each other, either. It's all up to the couple!

Redditor ClassicJogging asked:

"Married people of Reddit, what made you decide to get the engagement ring you did, and how much was it?"

A Special Bond

"My grandmother pulled me aside five minutes after meeting my now wife, then girlfriend, for the first time, that she really loved her and she would fit right into our family. They had a REALLY good bond for a couple of years before my grandmother passed."

"Her last wish was that I use her engagement ring from 1945 (my grandfather proposed the day the Germans left Norway) when I asked for marriage. I did, she said yes, and we have been happily married for a good few years now."

- Panzerpython

Perfectly Vintage

"I was asked if I wanted a ring... and I surprised myself by saying that I did even though I'm not a jewelry person."

"So we went shopping and I hated all the jewelry store rings. We decided to check out antique stores and we found a cool-looking '50s vintage diamond ring with an illusion setting (makes tiny stone look bigger). It fit. It was $300. It was perfect."

- RitaTome

Recreated Art

"I love vintage rings, specifically art deco style, and had a whole Pinterest board of ones I loved. But it turns out I have giant fingers and most vintage rings are much smaller. Yes, you can size up, but only by so much."

"So my now husband surprised me by getting a ring custom-made in the same style. I adore it and get so many compliments."

- angeliqu

A Last Wish

"My mother was dying of cancer and gave me her engagement ring to give to my wife. It was a low-profile diamond from 1965. I think my father paid $275 for it at Eaton’s."

"We just celebrated our 25th last week. She still wears it daily."

- JustsomeAudioGuy

Full of Memories

"$140, I wanted a more expensive ring for her, but she insisted that I use that money for the wedding."

"I ended up going with a silver ring that looks like the branches of a tree, it has one large amethyst in the middle and two smaller ones in the branches to the side."

"When I saw it, it immediately reminded me of the date we went on when I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her."

"We got up early to go to an orchard that was a little while away, the whole ride, she was talking about how frustrated she was with work and I was so happy to be listening to her talk and to spend time with her. We spent all day at the orchard, we got lunch at the farmer's market, went on a hayride, went to a petting zoo, and we picked pumpkins then picked apples as the sun was just starting to get low."

"From there, we went a haunted trail on a ski trail that took us up the hill in a ski lift and we had to walk down. As we went up the hill, we got the most amazing view of the sunset and I knew had found my better half, because I couldn't even imagine anyone else that I would want to watch the sunset with."

- TabbyCabby

Because Science

"My wife is a chemist and agronomist. She was working on her master's in agronomy and part of her thesis project had to do with cobalt and molybdenum."

"So I got her a cobalt chrome engagement ring (which happens to also be 6% molybdenum). For the stone, I went with a manufactured sapphire, because science."

"She absolutely loves it. Cost me less than $300."

- surdophobe

Substantial Savings

"I worked for the jeweler store. I had about a steep discount. I chose five options and let him pick from there since I had to technically buy it. He picked my favorite."

"It is a one-carat ruby set in rose gold, and I love it. Retail it would be around $5000, but for me, it was $900."

"I wanted a ruby as I did not want a diamond, and I am a big history buff."

- Nancy2121

A Good Listener

"My Fiancé remembered that in Freshman year of college, I mentioned I would only take a lab diamond (clear or black), and my dream ring had a specific gemstone on either side of the main stone."

"Fall 2018 to December 2022 and he remembered every detail. From one conversation. He is a blessing and I love my ring."

- Trumpet6789

Post-Engagement Ring

"I couldn’t afford an engagement ring when we got married. It’s been a few years and now I can, so I’m working on a custom ring with a local jeweler we’ve worked with a bunch already. The concept is a subtle subversion of traditional engagement ring tropes and will cost around a grand USD."

- DeepFriedApples

Groceries > Rings

"She gave me pictures of a few rings she wanted. All sapphires, no diamonds. I got one of those for $120. Probably worth in the $200 range today."

"She specifically did not want the 'two months' salary' standard. She would refuse a ring that was expensive enough that somebody would be willing to cut off her hand in order to steal it."

- CaptainTime5556

Important Family Heirlooms

"It was my grandmother's and it was awesome and it was free and she loved it."

- Knute5

"Grandma's club checking in. I was having sort of a deep philosophical moment with this question about how I guess it technically cost me my grandma. But then I had a burrito."

- Hammand

Worth the Pricetag

"Love the shaming on this thread for anyone who spent more than $24.99 on a ring."

"$18k because it’s the only expensive thing she’s ever asked me for and it makes her happy every single day. One year interest-free financing softened the financial blow considerably."

"To each their own! Don’t shame people for spending their money how they choose on the ones they love!"

- Son_Of_A_Plumber

Yay for Pinterest Boards

"My wife had a bunch of floral style rings on her Pinterest page, so I went and got one custom designed from a local jeweler."

"They suggested Moissanite (synthetic diamond) to keep costs down and appearance up. I got three times the stone for half the price of a real diamond. Well worth it. Total ran about 3k for the engagement ring."

- bighairyyak

Everybody's Happy

"I chose the shape of the stone, he chose the actual diamond (size, quality, etc), and then we went shopping together to choose the setting."

"It was a lovely experience! I got a ring I love which I will wear forever and he got to control the situation and feel comfortable with a large component of the cost to keep within his budget."

- jvldmn

Très Relatable

"My wife liked it. 15k."

- BabyTunnel

"All the top voted answers are just cheap rings or inheritance. So I am glad someone posted something else. Although maybe there is something below but Reddit might just upvote certain answers more."

- Additional_Meeting_2

"Dude. Finally a comment in here I can relate to."

"My wife liked it. 12k."

"No hate to the lab-grown, or the many blue and yellow special stones in this thread. But d**n, it makes it sound like the norm! In my experience and my friends' circles…. It’s just diamonds from the jewelry store lol (laughing out loud)."

- howmanywhales

This thread was a great example of "to each their own." Where some will want an expensive ring, others will want something incredibly simple, just like some will want an extravagant wedding whereas others will want to go to the courthouse and have a nice dinner after.

These decisions don't make one couple or one marriage or one love better than the other. They simply reflect that they're different partnerships, and as long as both people are happy, who cares how anyone else would handle it?

People sharing pizza
Klara Kulikova/Unsplash

When it comes to culinary mashups, nothing is as delectably perfect as a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. Chocolate and peanut butter in one bite? Heavenly.

Other food combos are not as popular but have a strong contingent of fans like pineapple on pizza or even peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

And then there are ones that are simply inexcusable.

Curious to hear examples of what foodies absolutely consider tastey bites, Redditor Shozo459 asked:

"What’s the worst food sin you can imagine?"

Trust the preparation.

That Is Soy Not Funny

"ketchup on sushi."

– BattleCatManic

I do believe you'd get your a** kicked for doing that."

– Mattress_Of_Needles

No Sauce Required

"Reminds me of this random sushi joint in osaka. Every pc had the wasabi inserted already. If the piece doesnt have a sauce (like eel), then its premarinated or salted. For normal fish, the chef brushes it with some kind of soy sauce blend."

"He reminded me that soy sauce would not be necessary almost every time he put a new piece on my plate. I asked what the soy sauce bottle is for then and he just shrugged."

"And we're talking about soy sauce not even ketchup."

– gabu87

Tough Meat

"Ok, not sushi, but. (I heard this from my kid....) My ex remarried to a southern woman who fancies herself to be a southern Belle. Instead, she's more of a Momma June. My ex cooked steaks for dinner one night. He will cook meat so it is BROWN straight through. Don't think about asking for it any way, but WELL DONE. In his world, any PINK in the beef means it's nearly raw.😳 So he cooked steaks for them. The wife starts eating and exclaims, 'This steak is soooo good it doesn't even need ketchup' My kid described the meat as being extremely tough and tasteless."

– stalagit68

That's just rude.

Expired Offer

"Eating my fries after I've asked you if you want me to buy you some."

– iggylevin

"So you've met my ex-wife? 'I'm fine' is a small fry and milkshake or frostee. And yes, she should use her words , but she won't, so you can choose to be right or to not have to sleep on the couch over fries and a milkshake."

– Jimmy_Twotone

Chili & Cinnamon

"Although it's not the worst sin imaginable, there's a weird regional dish where i live that involves pairing a bowl of chili with a cinnamon roll. Every potluck I've been to here has it. It's not for me but it's definitely unique."

– MayorOfVenice

Citrus Sin

"Orange juice flavored toothpaste and toothpaste flavored orange juice."

– shhjustwatch

"I gargle with orange juice after i brush my teeth. Power move. Show that plaque who's boss."

– MayorOfVenice

Who does that?

Gimme Some Skin

"Eating the skin off of someone else's fried chicken."

– Upbeat_Tension_8077

"I had a bucket of leftover KFC in the fridge, and my ex SIL came over to my house while I was at work and ate all of the skin off the chicken. I was f'kin pissed."

"Then, on New Years, a few years later, her aunt wanted to make mole and split the cost. I was like whatever and pitched in. I had things to do and got home after it was done. Those f'kin b*tcheses had ate the all of the skin off every piece of chicken."

"I'm so glad I'm not a part of that POS family anymore. If I am ever victimized by chicken skin theft ever again I am going to throw that skinless piece of chicken at them as hard as I can at point blank range and I'm going to aim for their mouth."

– anon

Condiment For All

"Squeezing ketchup on top of a communal plate of fries."

– OverlappingChatter

"I had a boyfriend who would take all of his fries and all of my fries at McDonald’s, put them on the tray and squirt ketchup on top. This infuriated me in part because then the fries got cold so much faster."

– loritree

Wasting food is a cardinal sin.

Grocery Stores At The End Of The Day

"Grocery stores/suppliers throwing out perfectly good food when we there are people starving."

"There is a 2009 doc called 'Dive' that talks about how much grocery stores waste. Edit: (I'm sure there are many others but this is the one that made me aware of the issue)"

– moosegoose2222

"My husband did the samples at Sam's club for awhile and when they did alcohol samples they were told to bust/break the glass bottles into the food that was leftover and to be disposed in the dumpster...so first throw the food in, then break the glass bottles on top when throwing in dumpster."

– Swivel_D

Kevin Sucks

"I worked at a major big box grocery/everything else store for a short time. The a**hole store director was the kind of guy who would make one of the grocery guys get put the floor zamboni on SATURDAY AFTERNOONS to clean up footprints down the aisles when it snowed outside. Of course, it pissed people off."

"The worst thing he'd do, however, was demand that the bakery and Deli have their cases overstocked to 'Grand Opening' standards every f'king day. Of course, only half sold, and the leftovers were not marked down (he hated doing anything like that for damaged boxes or cans because he said it attracted 'poor people'). Instead, it all went into the dumpster at the end of the night. It was usually a half dozen cakes, a dozen loaves of bread, and often 15 - 20 rotisserie chickens. No, employees were not allowed to take home any of it. Oh, and he was openly racist and tried to get a disabled employee fired because he didn't like disabled people working with the public."

"I rage quit that job one day, two weeks before Christmas. I found out shortly after I left that the store director was diagnosed with Parkinsons."

"Rot in hell, Kevin."

– WhitePineBurning

My gripe is more about dining protocol than actual food.

I'm pretty much allergic to alcohol and aside from having the occasional glass of wine, I don't drink often when I go out.

I don't think it's fair when I'm out with a small group of people who each order more than two cocktails and I'm forced to split the bill evenly as the lone non-drinker in the group.

I get it, it's a hassle figuring out the bill to accommodate for me, but I don't mind sorting it out as there are apps to make this easy.

I think it's classy when other members of the group point out that they should chip in more for the bill so I don't have to pay my full share.

But I also hate having to speak up and say, "Umm, can you guys pay for your own drinks since I didn't order any?"

I'm screwed either way since I sound like a loser when I do voice my request or I get passive aggressive afterward for not speaking up.

Anyone know a good solution on how to deal with this?

Anyone who grew up with one or more siblings is bound to have stories of how their siblings occasionally (or frequently) got on their nerves.

Indeed, some people don't even have any sort of relationship with their siblings once they fly the nest.

Those who grew up only children, however, often have trouble accepting that people would cut their siblings out of their lives.

While being an only child can often mean getting your parent's complete love and attention, it also means that you will have to go through many of life's challenges alone, with no peer to turn to for support.

Not to mention, never having anyone to torment and boss around, as many children dream of doing to their younger siblings.

Redditor BroccoliniCarrot was curious to hear what only children thought was the biggest disadvantage of growing up with no siblings, leading them to ask:

"What’s the worst about being an only child?"

Lack Of Playmates

"When I was little, people would give me board games like Monopoly for gifts, and I wouldn't have anyone to play with."

"even Hungry Hungry Hippo sucked playing solo."

"I did master Solitaire though!"- Jesikabelcher

Last One Standing

"When my parents die that’s it."

"I’m just alone."- undertheraindrops

"Family is the most likely group of people to help you when things get tough."

"When your parents pass you have less support."

"Also, aging parents become solely your responsibility."- rubixd

"Taking care of an elderly parent with no one to help."- 3Gilligans

No One To Turn To

"When you are the only one to support your aging parents."- Fantastic_Leg_3534

Forced Independence

"I think because I am an only child I have become used to spending time on my own."

"As a result I am quite antisocial.'

"I don’t mind being around people and can be quite talkative however it exhausts me and I need far too much time on my own to recover."- OstneyPiz

"You become TOO comfortable with being alone all the time, to the point where being alone is the default and interacting with others feels like a chore."

"And that doesn't play out too well in the real world."- DeathSpiral321·

Going Through It Alone

"No one to have a sanity check with."

"My wife and closest friend have siblings and they talk about a close bond with their respective siblings where they could look at the other and effectively say 'mom/dad are crazy, right?'"

"Being an only, I thought some of the sh*t they pulled growing up was normal."

"Having a sibling would have helped counter the gas lighting from parents."- RennSport5280

Making Your Own Conversation Partners...

"As an adult, I sometimes find it difficult to quiet the self-talk because all too often growing up it was all I had."-GreenDolphin86

More For Me?

"I am absolutely not good at sharing."

"Plus and minus was that I got all of my parents' attention, so I had a lot of love and support but also a lot of expectations and not a lot of space to f*ck up."

"Nowhere to hide, no one to blame anything on, and no backup when they were being unreasonable."

"But I also didn't have to split time, affections, or personal belongings with some other gremlin sharing my DNA."=Justheretolurkyall

No One To Keep You In Line...

"No reality check."

"Nobody to confirm that, no, it's not you that's acting nuts."

"Later, nobody to bounce ideas and behaviors off of, nobody to tell you, 'hey, X thinks you're cute' or 'that's not how you ask a girl out, doofus, say this'."

"I should mention that for various reasons, if I had had siblings they would have been older."

"So when I imagine not being an only child, I tend to imagine being a younger brother."

"But I think the reality-check thing would still operate even as an oldest sibling; plus I might have learned to handle responsibility earlier."- ElderPoet

There Is, Indeed, Safety In Numbers

"I am the only son of a single mother."

"I hate this term, but it's called emotional incest."

"Basically my Mom was very young when she had me and there were no men in her / my life."

"As a result, she placed all of that emotional needs of a grown woman on to me."

"My Mom never really raised me as a son."

"At best, she raised me like a little brother she got stuck with after our parents died."

"At worst, she treated me like I was a toxic boyfriend."- ANerdCalledMike

No Scapegoats

"All eyes are on you- can’t get away with anything!"

"Most strict parents ever ( they were older too)."

"Unlike my husband's family growing up with 6 kids."

"Parents hardly knew where the teenagers were or who they were with."- Available_Honey_2951

"When asked by a parent what happened you cannot blame your sibling."- nanodecay

The Eye Of TheBeholder

"People assuming that I was spoiled."- Purlz1st

Having no siblings means never being bullied, teased or tormented, or having to vie for your parent's attention.

Something many people who grew up with older or younger siblings openly say they dream of.

When the going gets tough, however, and these same people realize they always had their brothers or sisters to turn to, they might bite their words and regret ever even thinking of being an only child.