We all joke about it from time to time: "If we're still single by this date, we'll get married ourselves!" But do any people actually go through with it?
That was the basis for today's burning question from Redditor how-the-turn-tables, who asked the online community: Has anyone ever honoured one of those "if we're still single at 40 let's get married" commitments? How did it go?
I did. I dated my first girlfriend when we were about 17-19. Then she broke up with me but we had said such a thing before while we were still dating. We both had a few boy/girlfriends over the years, but about 15 years later we met again and essentially said "I really didn't find anyone with whom I felt like I did with you". But it wasn't with resignation, more of an epiphany. So we started dating again, and married soon after. And couldn't be happier.
"Had one for 30..."
Had one for 30 and moving in together. She was 7 years my senior and around that time we were both in a transient part of our lives, so I asked. She said no and moved across the country.
"We ended up..."
We ended up getting married at 30 instead. As it turns out we loved each other and made every excuse to ignore it.
"We are super close to this day..."
I have/had one of those with my bff. She turns 40 in a couple months and she is definitely single. We haven't spoken about it in over a decade. We are super close to this day, but I don't want to bring it up when she turns 40. Ive tried a number of times to make the relationship happen and at this point I am just gonna accept that it isn't meant to be unless she brings it up. I love her, and I know she loves me too. I guess we'll see if she remembers and wants to follow through, but Im not holding my breath.
(Narrator: he was holding his breath)
"I got married before that..."
Had one to get married at 30. I got married before that and I don't think my friend took it well. We had sort of a strained relationship after and now we don't really talk much. (Used to be best friends.)
"Girl was a really introverted..."Giphy
"Weird" couple my wife knew had such a pact and followed through.
Girl was a really introverted, quiet, homely type. Sweetest girl. But she never had a boyfriend as far as I knew. And we saw her off and on for six or seven years.
Then suddenly out of nowhere she invited us to her wedding.
Anyways, it was to a guy we had met a couple of times who was one of her friends who seemed very much like her. My wife teased her that "more must have been going on all that time." but she was straight up about it, and said no, they just decided it was time.
Conversation was something like, "yeah, you know how people have pacts to get married if neither of them are till they hit ___, well, we just decided it really wasn't going to happen for either of us, and to cut that short."
Basically we were just like, "cool?" and then left it at that.
Anyways, she married him, they looked happy. The speeches were a bit odd, they didn't really talk about love but a lot about how they were marrying their best friend.
They are still together, it's gotta be at least 5 years, and they have a little kid. Last we saw them they looked happy and that's all that matters really.
"Friends since we were 14..."
Friends since we were 14 in high school. Made a pact in our early 20s about if we were 30, childless, unhappy, etc.....
Got married at 30. 7 years later it's still the best relationship we've ever had and going strong.
"I've got a rollercoaster of a story."
I've got a rollercoaster of a story.
So when I was a kid we got a new neighbour - he was great, had a cute dog, seemed to have his life together, but was chronically single despite his best efforts. Few months later we hear he got married, much to everyone's surprise (because he clearly hadn't been seeing anyone prior). Turns out he had made a pact to marry his best female friend when they both turned 30, if they weren't in a relationship, and they followed through.
She was the world's sweetest person, and really pretty to boot - frankly, everyone was surprised that either of them felt this was necessary to begin with. She'd moved across the country to be with him, so she didn't have any family nearby and that's probably partly how we all became so close. Anyhow, they were actually crazy happy together, got another dog, etc. The only thing that seemed "off" was that despite several years of him and her talking about desperately wanting kids (she was pretty well always interacting with me), they were still childless (which everyone assumed was owing to a medical issue).
Then we learn that, while an absolutely fantastic and loving husband when sober, he made for a mean drunk. This culminated in her snapping and pulling a knife on him, and leaving. They were separated for a few years (during which time neither wanted to explore divorce/other relationships, because they still loved each other), and her leaving was definitely the boot he needed to get his rear in gear.
He spent those years with al-anon, became incredibly involved in his church and community, and spent a lot of effort winning her back/convincing her he'd changed. They're now together and seemingly happy as ever. We only know all of this because he was super open about his problems with his community (doing some advocacy stuff). He had one brief fall off the wagon, but checked into rehab (? Or something like it) almost immediately, and has since been doing well. They've both decided not to have kids, because they're not sure he could handle the stress and the temptation to start drinking again.
They've recently moved to an acreage in a very remote area, so we don't hear from them as often, but last I heard they were doing really well.
"I did that."
I did that. I met her in high school, we grew apart over the years, we reconnected and said "let's get married if we're both single when we're 40" then we said f--- it, let's go to Vegas and get married by Elvis. Our first kiss was Thanksgiving Day and we were married on Dec 17th. We're still going strong after seven years! Longest relationship I've been been in, best decision of my life!
My family has a summer place on a lake in another state where I have gone every summer since I was a baby. Other families did the same so, I grew up with these other family's kids. There was like 10 kids in our group and we spent almost every waking hour hanging out together. One of the girls in the group was about a year older and kinda shy and chubby. Not that it mattered though we were just really good friends.
Fast forward to our early 30's years. She had moved away from her small town much to the amazement of her family. It was the kind of small town that you were born in and would probably die in. Nobody ever left but, she did. She had a great job where she was able to make and save a TON of money. She had also lost weight and had become crazy beautiful. At the same time, most of our group of friends were getting married and working on having families. As a joke one of our friends said "Hey if you two are still single when you hit 40, you HAVE to marry each other. We had been drinking so it was easy to get us to agree.
Fast forward again. Before I hit 40, I met the love of my life and have 2 bad-ass little ones. The girl from the lake had moved back to her little town and fell into the trap. She met a dude at a bar one night who got her pregnant and was never to be seen again. She was alone with her little one and, to be close to her family, she remained in the little town and had abandoned the path of a successful life that she had been on before. We still see each other every summer, and my wife hates it. She says it's "so obvious that she still has a crush on you". It's weird how when you look back you can see those decisions that seem small at the time but have a huge effect on life. I could have married her and she would probably would have been in a better place now. But, I would not be where I am now if I went down that road. life is weird man.
He backed out.
"My eighth grade..."Giphy
My eight grade English teacher actually. Her and her husband were roommates and said if they were both single by 35 they'd get married. Well, they got married, had two kids, and they're still together about 8 years and counting as far as I know
"I made an agreement..."
I made an agreement like this. We live in different states, and I'd moved cities since we knew each other during my college days. He found my mom's number, and she passed his message on to me...I knew that's why he was calling. I was married and pregnant when I got the message and never called back. But I think of him all the time.
Had one and when I said it I meant it. We've known each other since we were kids. Kind of an on/off FWB.
Well I lost interest when it was clear she wasn't over her ex. And when we did hook up again it just wasn't the same. It almost felt as if both of us were just settling and it didn't work. A big step backwards from the relationship we had where the idea was kind of an old flame/fling type of deal.
Friends since we were 15. "If neither of us are married when we're 28..." . We got engaged when he turned 28, 6 months before I did. We had just gotten done with a nighttime geocache. It was like 3 am and our friend was in the car with us. He was driving, I was in the back seat (friend was sitting shotgun). He mentioned the agreement. I literally said, "I mean... your birthday is tomorrow. Why not?" So we bought rings and announced it to family and friends.
It did not go well. Neither the announcement(s) nor the engagement itself. I moved out and broke off the engagement within 4 months. We were meant to be best friends. We were NOT meant to cohabitate. He didn't even seem to care when I sat him down to talk about it. Wouldn't even turn off "Thor". Lol. His parents were devastated, mine were relieved. He and I went right back to being friends as though nothing happened.
"Friend and I..."
Friend and I had one for 36. But in our late 20's we both ended up single and got together. Turns out he's a cheating SOB and I'm glad we never got married.
Yup. Made this pact with my best friend. Time went by and we were the closest we could ever be. When I mentioned the pact to her at the age we agreed on she ghosted me. No reply. No explanation.
It's been 2.5 years since then. So yeah. Sucks but that's life I guess.
"Me and my friends..."
Me and my friends got together but soon after broke up but we remained friends and after about 1 year we made a pact that if we both got to the age of 14 with no girlfriend or boyfriend we would get together and get married.
She is my wife now and we have 2 kids together: 1 son and 1 daughter
It didn't get honoured on my part. I turned thirty and then she did. We talked almost every day.
I didn't bring it up. She did. She said we'd never work out.
I am inclined to agree, but you never ever move on from someone like that and it has been tough to ever view another person like that.
Mostly, I think that it's because I've already put all the hard work into this girl and it failed and I am afraid to start over. But, you're not supposed to psychoanalyze yourself.
We will have these arguments, we'll ignore each other for a month and then she comes back and I stupidly entertain it.
It's not just that we've had this 10 year on and off friendship.
It's that the first time I saw her I realized I wanted to be every preposition her (On, around, in, with, from, to, below, across, before, behind.) And she could never be tied down and really neither could I. From one bad relationship to the next.
And I chased other women that aren't good for me because at least it was better than nothing, being treated that way. Now, I just sit and wait for her to come back, because I have become fond of this game. It's like flirting now. Then again, I am probably fucked up in the head.
Then again, you're not supposed to psychoanalyze yourself.
"My husband and I did."
My husband and I did. Ours was 30 and we were friends for almost a decade by that point. He has been one of my best friends in life and one of the only men that I have ever dated. Before we got married I had actually thought about joining the convent and moving halfway across the globe. It didn't work out and we now live on a small farm with my mother, aunt, their dogs, our cats, chickens, wild turkeys and a whole lot of love. Our family comes for dinner every weekend and we are so much happier now than if we had ever been apart.
- PACT premier™ HT-96 Single Reagent - Molecular Dimensions ›
- Why Pacts To Marry Your Friend Don't Work Out | MadameNoire ›
- UK businesses make world-first pact to ban single-use plastics | The ... ›
- Friends who made pact to marry if they were still single at 40 get ... ›
- These 15 People Made 'Marriage Pacts' – Here's How They Turned ... ›
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- These friends kept marriage pact to wed if still single by 50 ›
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- The Ted & Robin Pact - Urban Dictionary ›
- If We're 40 and Single, Let's Get Married. Deal? - The New York Times ›
You know what would be great?
If society could just stop with arbitrary dress codes. If you're not working with the public, why should you have to dress up so much? If you're a police officer, then it makes sense that you'd wear a uniform that identifies you as a police officer. If you're Ted from IT who sits in the backroom all day, I really don't see why you have to come in every day in a suit and tie.
Let's just toss them out, shall we?
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Levels2ThisBrush asked the online community,
"What should be socially acceptable but isn't?"
"Leaving the office..."
"Leaving the office whenever you've finished your tasks for the day."
This is why I'm so glad remote work is the new office.
"And yet, I get it!"
"Taking off sick from work, WITHOUT giving an invasive reason. I supervise a small team and so I see all the OOO emails, and for gods sake I want people to PLEASE not feel the need to explain in detail what kind of diarrhea is afflicting them, or how bad their period cramps are, or how much bad sushi they ate the night before. Just say “I’m under the weather, I won’t be online today.”"
"And yet, I get it! I do it too! I feel guilty or like I’ll be looked at with suspicion if my reason for taking off isn’t sufficiently debilitating enough!"
"But… we need to stop this. As a manager I don’t care, I don’t THINK the people above me who are also on these emails care… let’s just all agree to take sick days without any details from now on!"
I do not miss my retail days where I had to organise someone to cover me and beg on bended knee.
"Cashiers or workers who don’t need to be standing all day not having a stool or chair."
Another thing I do not miss from my retail days. Having to stand for hours and hours only to come home with my feet killing me was not fun.
"Prices on apartments..."
"Prices on apartments and their respectable reasons for such price directly on their websites or advertising without the need for a tour or any secrecy."
I always assume if I have to ask the price I probably can’t afford it.
"Being quiet/not wanting to engage in conversation all the time."
In Finland, if somebody tries to talk to you, they are probably a tourist.
"Choosing not to..."
"Choosing not to have toxic family members in your life."
It feels very liberating once you accept that you don't have to put up with it.
"Employees calling customers out in public for being a**holes."
Absolutely. Many customers get away with treating employees horribly because they know they can do it without any pushback... most of the time.
"The fact that I sometimes..."
"The fact that I sometimes need to take my insulin in public. No, Karen, I am not doing drugs, I need to live."
You’re getting that sweet sweet insulin high… the high of being not-dead.
"Afternoon naps. I’m on team nap. Give me 25 minutes to charge up and I’ll give you back 3 hours of high quality work. Everyone wins. Plus I go home with extra energy instead of dead tired."
Short naps don't work for me. I can't do a 25 min recharge. When I take a nap it needs to be like a solid 2 hours
"Salary transparency. For some reason, in the US, there’s a taboo or stigma around discussing one’s salary. This should be done openly and freely, with zero embarrassment or judgment. The only winners from avoiding these conversations are the corporations that are able to pay people differently for the same roles. Speak up!"
The "for some reason" you're referring to is simply propaganda on behalf of corporations.
It's evident that something's got to change around here, and we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
As much as many of us don't like to disrupt the status quo, there is only so much time a person can tolerate a miserable situation before things become so unbearable that they ultimately have to peace out.
For some people, it takes a while for them to reach a breaking point. Eventually, there comes a time when they realize their self-worth is more important than continuing to please others who don't appreciate them for the sake of keeping up with appearances.
Curious to hear from people whose patience ran thin and made a strong decision, Reddit Prestigious-Order-62 asked:
"What made you say 'f'k this sh*t im out?'"
The unwarranted reprimanding was something that was never mentioned in the initial job description.
"In the late 90’s."
"One time I got pulled into the Security office at a Department store I worked at. They accused me of constantly using the sales day coupons for people that didn’t present one (we always kept an extra copy at each register). I had watched my own department boss do it many times so I assumed it was okay. We didn’t even collect the coupons to be counted for the cash office, we just chucked them after use."
"They claimed I lost the store hundreds of dollars and had been watching me 'for months' do this awful, unforgivable crime for people spending 90 bucks on already bloated price designer jeans. I’m sure the occasional 10% discount was just devastating. 🙄""I got this huge lecture of how I was LITERALLY stealing from the store and they COULD call the police but would give me a chance to work off the damage. I couldn’t believe how criminal I was made to feel over it. The best part when they called my boss in who pretended to have never done it before to save her own a**."
"I asked if they were firing me. They said 'Yes and No. You will be let go, but you can choose to work off the damages so we don’t take you to court.' I told them I will just quit and asked for my last check. They said they will deduct what I owe from my last check. And I said 'Well then you need to show me all the footage and prove that I was stealing.' They wouldn’t produce footage, finally called the cops, and when the cops arrived, they were just as confused and called it an internal problem and advised them that this was overblown. I think they felt sorry for me. So finally upper management came in and just said 'just issue the last check, I will sign it here.' So much drama over so stupid a thing."
"It was sad because that actual day my Mom and daughter had come to the mall to meet me for lunch and I had to explain I just was forced to quit that job and was never allowed in that store again like I was some awful jerk."
"It was nice a few short years later, the entire chain bankrupted."
"A coworker waited until we were in front of a large group of people to start 'disciplining' me for something 'wrong' I did (I took my lunch 15 mins late to help another coworker) when she wasn’t even my supervisor. Applied for a job transfer the next day and couldn’t be happier where I am now."
"I had a piece of sh*t of a boss. He'd praise you in private but berate you in public. In front of coworkers and customers. Always about stuff that didn't matter."
"He'd also happily break company policy to side with customers after you spent an hour telling a customer you can't give them stuff for free, for example. Any time he was around, everything was miserable."
"My only regret is that I wasn't there to see him marched out by corporate when he got fired, because I had gone on to a better job by then."
Human Punching Bag
"I used to work in a Kitchen at a pub, it was grim work, but I had freinds there and had worked there for 3 years, So it wasn't too bad."
"One Christmas season we were being absolutely pumped, full out functions and busy services. My boss at the time was very stressed and fair enough, We were busy, We were all working overtime and full out. He used any excuse to completely blow up and absolutely scream at me for little to no reason, essentially him yelling at me was his stress relief. But fine, whatever, kitchens are rough places, no appolagies or anything, move on."
"I then go away for 3 weeks over the Christmas holidays and spend the time road tripping around the country having an amazing time."
"First shift back, not pleased being back, he makes a snarky comment."
"F'k this, Im out."
Even though these employees weren't chewed out in front of co-workers, the low salary without room for negotiation made them not wanting to stick around for much longer.
You Only Get One Job
"They cut my hours so I had to get a second job. 3 days before I was supposed to start said second job, my manager at the main job told me that I couldn't get this second job because I had main job first and I needed to make it my priority. That's when I said f'k you and left. I didn't even give a notice, I literally just sent an email saying I wouldn't be coming in the next day, grabbed my sh*t and went home."
"I used to work Retail and after 7 years at the company, I found out I was only making 50 cents more an hour than someone who just started yesterday. I understood if they couldn't pay me more and asked for a good schedule. 7-3 or 8-4 every day and the same two days off every week. I didn't even ask for weekends off."
"I was told that they couldn't give me a good schedule so I quit."
Situations weren't much different outside the work place. Social dilemmas prompted these Redditors to say, "nope."
"Went to a pub because a friend kept asking. When I got there, he was with a group of people I didn't know, so I introduced myself and got the next round. As I come back with the tray, I hear them saying something along the lines of 'why is that b*tch still here? I thought she was just supposed to drop off a bicycle?' 'Ya, we don't want her to come to <this other town with more pubs> and now she is drinking with us?' 'She's so dumb' *proceeds to imitate and ridicule me as I was actively listening and nodding when I was having a conversation with my friend."
"Gave the beer to random people and walked right out after saying good evening to my friend and briefly explaining I did not appreciate being tricked into being a bicycle taxi for people who hate me directly after meeting me."
A Shocking Incident
"I was on my boat fishing for bass. I casted out my line and watched the lure hit the water but the line just floated in the air. Lightning and thunder crashed and the line fell to the water. F'k this sh*t, I'm out."
"She lined my bed with broken glass put the blankets over it and I dove on in lol."
"Edit: She was violent/crazy and on drugs, was like the 20th attack I took and that made me really think lol."– MyLifeForAuir1
Ally For The Ex
"I found nudes of his ex (from ten years ago) that I’d previously asked him twice to get rid of tucked in a pair of MY socks. Our couples counselor asked why he’d kept them and he said, 'You know. In case I ever needed to blackmail her.' He said it like it was a perfectly normal and reasonable thing to plan to do. The therapist and I locked eyes and I noped the f'k out of there and moved out."
Most of these Redditors realized leaving their situation was better than dealing with the consequences of sticking around.
The latter is never a good option. Why remain in a scenario you know is already going to consume your soul?
The lesson for today is–Don't be miserable. Your sanity is worth saving.Besides, you would never know that something better awaits if you just don't get the F out.
As we enter into the summer months, people now have to decide whether or not they want their morning coffee to be hot or iced.
Lucky for them, it's delicious either way.
One could make an argument that foods that are equally delicious hot or cold are perhaps the best, or at least the most reliable.
And this can include foods which are not customarily sold both hot and cold (cold pizza anyone?).
Redditor NectarineOther4989 was curious to hear which foods people enjoy either hot or cold, leading them to ask:
"What is something that tastes good both hot and cold?"
Fresh out of the oven, or the next day!
Chocolate withstands all temperatrues
"Chocolate."Chocolate Satisfying GIF by HuffPostGiphy
Can't go wrong with fruit and pastry
"Apple pie."- Hak_Saw5000
This doesn't only apply to food
"Revenge."- pushthestartbuttonkarine vanasse revenge GIF by HULUGiphy
Let the flavor develop
"2 totally different flavors depending on warm vs cold from fridge."- nonkowledge
So many to choose from!
A matter of textural preference
"Cheese, ya fools."- eat_dontpray_loveCloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs Eating GIFGiphy
Under a hot greek sun, or during a cold winter's eve.
While there's no better smell than a batch of chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven, those eating them the next day likely aren't missing out either.
Those who are truly superstitious have trouble shaking off customs which others might find somewhat silly.
These include holding your breath when passing a cemetery, throwing salt over your shoulder after spilling it, or not stepping on cracks for fear of breaking their mother's backs.
But even though it has been irrefutably proven that there is absolutely no validity to these superstitions, these same people will likely never stop performing these customs.
Nor will some others ever stop believing myths and hoaxes which have likewise proven to be one-hundred percent false.
Redditor Jimbo_Jigs was curious to learn the things people will never stop believing, despite ample evidence to the contrary, leading them to ask:
"What is proven to be a hoax but people still believe it to be true?"
"That cracking your knuckles gives you arthritis."- SnooCompliments9257
Though, it's still wise to avoid doing this...
"If you pull out a grey hair three more grow in its place, my sister still believes this one."- oopySpaff
Something to seriously think about.
"We only use 10% or our brain."- wiggywithitbrain GIFGiphy
Though they might still not be please you'r touching their child!
"Touching a baby bird will make its parents reject it."
"Any baby animal."
"When in doubt, reach out to your local wildlife rehabilitation network/individual."- JustMeerkats
I can sleep with my mouth open? Who knew!
"That you swallow 8 spiders a year in your sleep."- rentinghappiness
Never pay others to be an entrepreneur.
"MLMs, Boss babes, 'be your own boss' scams."
"I'm not sure how many documentaries need to be put on YouTube before people will stop buying into these companies and wasting their money."- ImAGhostOooooooo
It's literally quite the opposite
"Shaving making hair grow in thicker."- offbrandbarbie
Though a balanced diet doesn't hurt...
"The food pyramid."- sd2528
Best to stay out of the mouths of others regardless
"That dogs mouths are cleaner than humans!"- Mental_Investigator3Giphy
Just makes you more visible.
"It’s illegal to keep the light on in the car while driving."- rerhodes770
It seems that there is no amount of convincing that will ever lead these people to realize that they've been duped.
And one can't help but wonder what people do with the false information that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a humans?