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People Who Went Through With A "Single At 40" Marriage Pact With A Friend Reveal What Happened

People Who Went Through With A "Single At 40" Marriage Pact With A Friend Reveal What Happened
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We all joke about it from time to time: "If we're still single by this date, we'll get married ourselves!" But do any people actually go through with it?

That was the basis for today's burning question from Redditor how-the-turn-tables, who asked the online community: Has anyone ever honoured one of those "if we're still single at 40 let's get married" commitments? How did it go?

Turns out people do go through with it, and the stories are about as interesting as you'd expect.

"I did."

I did. I dated my first girlfriend when we were about 17-19. Then she broke up with me but we had said such a thing before while we were still dating. We both had a few boy/girlfriends over the years, but about 15 years later we met again and essentially said "I really didn't find anyone with whom I felt like I did with you". But it wasn't with resignation, more of an epiphany. So we started dating again, and married soon after. And couldn't be happier.


"Had one for 30..."

Had one for 30 and moving in together. She was 7 years my senior and around that time we were both in a transient part of our lives, so I asked. She said no and moved across the country.


"We ended up..."

We ended up getting married at 30 instead. As it turns out we loved each other and made every excuse to ignore it.


"We are super close to this day..."

I have/had one of those with my bff. She turns 40 in a couple months and she is definitely single. We haven't spoken about it in over a decade. We are super close to this day, but I don't want to bring it up when she turns 40. Ive tried a number of times to make the relationship happen and at this point I am just gonna accept that it isn't meant to be unless she brings it up. I love her, and I know she loves me too. I guess we'll see if she remembers and wants to follow through, but Im not holding my breath.

(Narrator: he was holding his breath)


"I got married before that..."

Had one to get married at 30. I got married before that and I don't think my friend took it well. We had sort of a strained relationship after and now we don't really talk much. (Used to be best friends.)


"Girl was a really introverted..."


"Weird" couple my wife knew had such a pact and followed through.

Girl was a really introverted, quiet, homely type. Sweetest girl. But she never had a boyfriend as far as I knew. And we saw her off and on for six or seven years.

Then suddenly out of nowhere she invited us to her wedding.

Anyways, it was to a guy we had met a couple of times who was one of her friends who seemed very much like her. My wife teased her that "more must have been going on all that time." but she was straight up about it, and said no, they just decided it was time.

Conversation was something like, "yeah, you know how people have pacts to get married if neither of them are till they hit ___, well, we just decided it really wasn't going to happen for either of us, and to cut that short."

Basically we were just like, "cool?" and then left it at that.

Anyways, she married him, they looked happy. The speeches were a bit odd, they didn't really talk about love but a lot about how they were marrying their best friend.

They are still together, it's gotta be at least 5 years, and they have a little kid. Last we saw them they looked happy and that's all that matters really.


"Friends since we were 14..."

Friends since we were 14 in high school. Made a pact in our early 20s about if we were 30, childless, unhappy, etc.....

Got married at 30. 7 years later it's still the best relationship we've ever had and going strong.


"I've got a rollercoaster of a story."

I've got a rollercoaster of a story.

So when I was a kid we got a new neighbour - he was great, had a cute dog, seemed to have his life together, but was chronically single despite his best efforts. Few months later we hear he got married, much to everyone's surprise (because he clearly hadn't been seeing anyone prior). Turns out he had made a pact to marry his best female friend when they both turned 30, if they weren't in a relationship, and they followed through.

She was the world's sweetest person, and really pretty to boot - frankly, everyone was surprised that either of them felt this was necessary to begin with. She'd moved across the country to be with him, so she didn't have any family nearby and that's probably partly how we all became so close. Anyhow, they were actually crazy happy together, got another dog, etc. The only thing that seemed "off" was that despite several years of him and her talking about desperately wanting kids (she was pretty well always interacting with me), they were still childless (which everyone assumed was owing to a medical issue).

Then we learn that, while an absolutely fantastic and loving husband when sober, he made for a mean drunk. This culminated in her snapping and pulling a knife on him, and leaving. They were separated for a few years (during which time neither wanted to explore divorce/other relationships, because they still loved each other), and her leaving was definitely the boot he needed to get his rear in gear.

He spent those years with al-anon, became incredibly involved in his church and community, and spent a lot of effort winning her back/convincing her he'd changed. They're now together and seemingly happy as ever. We only know all of this because he was super open about his problems with his community (doing some advocacy stuff). He had one brief fall off the wagon, but checked into rehab (? Or something like it) almost immediately, and has since been doing well. They've both decided not to have kids, because they're not sure he could handle the stress and the temptation to start drinking again.

They've recently moved to an acreage in a very remote area, so we don't hear from them as often, but last I heard they were doing really well.


"I did that."

I did that. I met her in high school, we grew apart over the years, we reconnected and said "let's get married if we're both single when we're 40" then we said f--- it, let's go to Vegas and get married by Elvis. Our first kiss was Thanksgiving Day and we were married on Dec 17th. We're still going strong after seven years! Longest relationship I've been been in, best decision of my life!


"My family..."

My family has a summer place on a lake in another state where I have gone every summer since I was a baby. Other families did the same so, I grew up with these other family's kids. There was like 10 kids in our group and we spent almost every waking hour hanging out together. One of the girls in the group was about a year older and kinda shy and chubby. Not that it mattered though we were just really good friends.

Fast forward to our early 30's years. She had moved away from her small town much to the amazement of her family. It was the kind of small town that you were born in and would probably die in. Nobody ever left but, she did. She had a great job where she was able to make and save a TON of money. She had also lost weight and had become crazy beautiful. At the same time, most of our group of friends were getting married and working on having families. As a joke one of our friends said "Hey if you two are still single when you hit 40, you HAVE to marry each other. We had been drinking so it was easy to get us to agree.

Fast forward again. Before I hit 40, I met the love of my life and have 2 bad-ass little ones. The girl from the lake had moved back to her little town and fell into the trap. She met a dude at a bar one night who got her pregnant and was never to be seen again. She was alone with her little one and, to be close to her family, she remained in the little town and had abandoned the path of a successful life that she had been on before. We still see each other every summer, and my wife hates it. She says it's "so obvious that she still has a crush on you". It's weird how when you look back you can see those decisions that seem small at the time but have a huge effect on life. I could have married her and she would probably would have been in a better place now. But, I would not be where I am now if I went down that road. life is weird man.



He backed out.


"My eighth grade..."


My eight grade English teacher actually. Her and her husband were roommates and said if they were both single by 35 they'd get married. Well, they got married, had two kids, and they're still together about 8 years and counting as far as I know


"I made an agreement..."

I made an agreement like this. We live in different states, and I'd moved cities since we knew each other during my college days. He found my mom's number, and she passed his message on to me...I knew that's why he was calling. I was married and pregnant when I got the message and never called back. But I think of him all the time.


"Had one..."

Had one and when I said it I meant it. We've known each other since we were kids. Kind of an on/off FWB.

Well I lost interest when it was clear she wasn't over her ex. And when we did hook up again it just wasn't the same. It almost felt as if both of us were just settling and it didn't work. A big step backwards from the relationship we had where the idea was kind of an old flame/fling type of deal.



Friends since we were 15. "If neither of us are married when we're 28..." . We got engaged when he turned 28, 6 months before I did. We had just gotten done with a nighttime geocache. It was like 3 am and our friend was in the car with us. He was driving, I was in the back seat (friend was sitting shotgun). He mentioned the agreement. I literally said, "I mean... your birthday is tomorrow. Why not?" So we bought rings and announced it to family and friends.

It did not go well. Neither the announcement(s) nor the engagement itself. I moved out and broke off the engagement within 4 months. We were meant to be best friends. We were NOT meant to cohabitate. He didn't even seem to care when I sat him down to talk about it. Wouldn't even turn off "Thor". Lol. His parents were devastated, mine were relieved. He and I went right back to being friends as though nothing happened.


"Friend and I..."

Friend and I had one for 36. But in our late 20's we both ended up single and got together. Turns out he's a cheating SOB and I'm glad we never got married.



Yup. Made this pact with my best friend. Time went by and we were the closest we could ever be. When I mentioned the pact to her at the age we agreed on she ghosted me. No reply. No explanation.

It's been 2.5 years since then. So yeah. Sucks but that's life I guess.


"Me and my friends..."

Me and my friends got together but soon after broke up but we remained friends and after about 1 year we made a pact that if we both got to the age of 14 with no girlfriend or boyfriend we would get together and get married.

She is my wife now and we have 2 kids together: 1 son and 1 daughter


"It didn't..."

It didn't get honoured on my part. I turned thirty and then she did. We talked almost every day.

I didn't bring it up. She did. She said we'd never work out.

I am inclined to agree, but you never ever move on from someone like that and it has been tough to ever view another person like that.

Mostly, I think that it's because I've already put all the hard work into this girl and it failed and I am afraid to start over. But, you're not supposed to psychoanalyze yourself.

We will have these arguments, we'll ignore each other for a month and then she comes back and I stupidly entertain it.

It's not just that we've had this 10 year on and off friendship.

It's that the first time I saw her I realized I wanted to be every preposition her (On, around, in, with, from, to, below, across, before, behind.) And she could never be tied down and really neither could I. From one bad relationship to the next.

And I chased other women that aren't good for me because at least it was better than nothing, being treated that way. Now, I just sit and wait for her to come back, because I have become fond of this game. It's like flirting now. Then again, I am probably fucked up in the head.

Then again, you're not supposed to psychoanalyze yourself.


"My husband and I did."

My husband and I did. Ours was 30 and we were friends for almost a decade by that point. He has been one of my best friends in life and one of the only men that I have ever dated. Before we got married I had actually thought about joining the convent and moving halfway across the globe. It didn't work out and we now live on a small farm with my mother, aunt, their dogs, our cats, chickens, wild turkeys and a whole lot of love. Our family comes for dinner every weekend and we are so much happier now than if we had ever been apart.


People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.