In our imaginations, most of us think of marriage as something full of romance and gushiness. Heart eyes, longing glances, blushes and giggle fits... that's the sort of love we tend to think would lead to a marriage proposal.
But sometimes marriage is something totally different.
In the past it's been a way to cement political ties, or maybe for business or social advancement. Or, sometimes, to fulfill a pact.
A pact? A pact. One Reddit user wanted to explore those kinds of marriages when they asked:
We see it all the time in movies. Many of us have probably half-jokingly made one of those with a friend during our early years. But does anyone actually go through with them?
Shockingly, YES. We want to tell you that all of these stories end in happily ever after, but they don't. We don't really think it matters, though. Even the most romantic relationships don't always make it.
What we found even more interesting was the number of people for whom this kind of arrangement absolutely worked. Take a read.
The Weird Couple
"Weird" couple my wife knew had such a pact and followed through.
Girl was a really introverted, quiet, homely type. Sweetest girl. But she never had a boyfriend as far as I knew. And we saw her off and on for six or seven years.
Then suddenly out of nowhere she invited us to her wedding.
Anyways, it was to a guy we had met a couple of times who was one of her friends who seemed very much like her. My wife teased her that "more must have been going on all that time." But she was straight up about it, and said no, they just decided it was time.
Conversation was something like, "Yeah, you know how people have pacts to get married if neither of them are till they hit ___, well, we just decided it really wasn't going to happen for either of us, and to cut that short."
Basically we were just like, "cool?" and then left it at that.
Anyways, she married him, they looked happy. The speeches were a bit odd, they didn't really talk about love but a lot about how they were marrying their best friend.
They are still together, it's gotta be at least 5 years, and they have a little kid. Last we saw them they looked happy and that's all that matters really.
Kind of. We left our spouses around the same time (not for each other) and decided to share a house. We got to taking one night and decided we each had all the things the other was looking for, plus we got along really well. We were in our mid-thirties by then and sick of the dating scene, so we just laid it out like a business arrangement.
What started off as an "arrangement" eventually evolved into something extremely serious and passionate. We've been together now for almost seven years and married for almost one. We are extremely in love and I have zero regrets.
A friend of mine married a college friend 3 years ago at the age of 33. Their bet was to get married if they were both single at 33 - but the intention was to basically prank their parents by going through with it. They intended to be married for several months and then just casually mention it, and later just get it annulled. So they went to the courthouse with a pair of friends, got married and then she moved into his apartment.
Thing was they'd been friends with benefits for a years when they were both single, and living together was so nice that they just stayed together. They're expecting their first kid in a few months.
Family friends had this pact. We were at her 30th and her boyfriend at the time proposed. Her best friend (with whom she had the pact) was gutted. He too had had a ring in his pocket. We know because he showed my dad.
Wait, the dude was gonna propose even though she had a boyfriend at the time? What part of "if we're single" did he not understand?
Happy New Year
My partner and I were close friends for 12 years before we got married. Through many friendships and relationships with other people, including one of us following a former lover across the country and the other being briefly engaged, we stayed "just friends" for a very long time:
On New Year's Eve in 2007-8, at the ripe old age of 23, we drunkenly made a pact to get married to each other if we weren't married by 30. Long story short, we didn't start dating until we both turned 30, but we got married pretty quickly after we started dating. Just celebrated 5 years of marriage, and we have a 2 year-old.
It's unconventional, but so are we, and it's ours.
I did. But we got married 10 years earlier. We met at an Inkmaster finale. We immediately connected. He lived in New York, I, Florida. I went back home and we Kept in touch. Made a promise if by the time we were 35 we'd marry each other. I was 25 at the time. Things intensified so much we truly believed we were meant for each other. I moved to Illinois to take care of my sick grandma. 3 months after meeting he flew there to visit and we got married. After a few more visits he moved there too. 4 years later and we have 2 kids.
We ended up getting married a lot sooner. He wasn't necessarily waiting around for me but I realized I'd be devastated if he ended up with someone else and no longer had him as a constant friend in my life. Don't let the good ones get away. We've been married 13 years now and never regretted a minute of it.
Our promise wasn't for when we're 35 but 30. We have been friends for years before we made the joke-promise and have been friends for 11 years (became friends when I was 17 she was 16) Through many friendships and relationships with other people, including one of us almost getting engaged to a former lover, we still remained friends.
When I clocked 20 if I recall correctly, we jokingly promised to get married to each other if we weren't married by 30. Long story short, I'm 28 now and she's 26. we didn't start dating until last year and are supposed to be getting married in June (if corona virus lock down let's us). We went through a lot of maturity and personal changes in our early 20's and it was so admirable watching how she grew and became "woke". Over the course of 5 years watching her grow, I knew she was and still is the ONE. No regrets here.
Unhappily Ever AfterGiphy
My parents had this kind of pact. Here is their story. Both of them were focusing mostly on their careers and didn't have time for marriage before then. They had been dating on and off for seven years and my mother was afraid of getting too old to marry, so she left her island home and a great job in newspaper marketing for the mainland and they got married. Things went south pretty quickly. Both of them were working up to 20 hours a day, and they didn't see each other much. I suppose the loneliness got to my father, because he slipped into depression and developed a pornography addiction, accused my mother of having an affair, and tried to kill himself. Things got worse when my mother miscarried what would have been my older brother or sister. I only know what little I could gather from hearing them fight after I was born, and I know there's much more to the story than what I know. Along I came a few years later after they had been trying for a child for years, and lo and behold, I have a birth defect and I almost die.
BUT I LIVED!!!
A few surgeries later, I'm relatively healthy and my dad quits his job to look after me. When I grew up enough to not need constant supervision anymore, however, my dad wouldn't get another job. My parents fought over it for years, and it kind of destroyed what was left of their marriage. The only reason they don't fight anymore is because my mother just gave up. Things only got worse as I grew. The house where I grew up now looks like a home out of Hoarders because my mother doesn't have time to clean, as she is the only breadwinner for the family, and my father is too depressed. He's stubborn and has a bad temper, so he acts like it's our problem whenever we're bring it up and refuses to go to therapy. He hardly ever leaves the house and doesn't really have any friends. He's only gotten worse since my grandmother died. I can't say anything more, because I'm too ashamed of the rest. It's quite sad to see two otherwise good people be so horrible to each other and live in such a sad state.
Kids On The Porch
My husband and I did this!
We met at around age ten. I lived in a violent household and he lived in the trailer park near my house. I ran away one night, and he was sitting on the porch shuffling Yugioh cards silently. We both froze when we saw each other. He then asked if I wanted to play because he had an extra deck.
We became quick friends. Whenever the violence got to be too much, I'd run to his house and we'd play. As we got older, we tried dating, but we were fairly innocent and messed it all up. Went back to being friends, but we swore to one another that we'd get married if we were single by age 30.
I joined the military after high school and he decided to go to college. We stayed connected through social media. I got married and had a daughter, he found a girlfriend and had a son. We talked about our kids and how happy we were for each other, and even laughed about our 'silly' agreement.
One day a few years later, after my then husband and I split amicably, he texted me out of the blue. We hadn't talked in months due to being adults now, and things got in the way. The text made me very nervous; it sounded more like a goodbye. His girlfriend had left him, and so much else was going on in his life that he just wanted to thank me for being his friend. I immediately called him and we talked for a long time, once again bringing up that we would never face the future alone because, if we didn't find our 'soulmates', we were going to get married at 30, grow old, and sit on our porch while I made tons of cookies. By the end of it, he was laughing and agreeing, and I felt like he was out of that dark hole.
I moved back to my hometown a few years later. I was 29 and he was 30. I kind of forgot about the plan at this point due to some family members being very sick. We bumped into each other one day with our kids and he also had a guy friend in tow, and it was like we were teens again. We chatted a bit. He apparently hadn't dated much after his his first girlfriend left him. The friend spoke up and said I should totally double date with them, me being the date for my best friend.
He casually mentioned we didn't need to date; he was 30, I was almost 30, and it had dawned on him that his soulmate was standing right in front of him. He refused to let me run away again and wanted to fulfill the contract. I swear my face couldn't have been redder nor could my heart have thumped any faster. It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me, and I didn't expect it from him. And, honestly, I don't know why I never realized how much I really loved him also, from the moment we played Yugioh on his porch that fateful night.
Fast forward to now and we are happily married with a beautiful 16 month old son. We still talk about our journey to each other. We still play Yugioh occasionally, and have taught our kids to play too. Life is good.
As The World Is Ending...
My wife and I had this deal when we were 27. But then I just asked her out and we were in a long distance relationship for about 3 months then we ended up breaking up. After about 4 years, we tried again and were in communication until we fell in love again and still in a long distance relationship. This time we were able to work it out. We got married this past January as the world is ending. I guess we made it just in time for our 35th birthdays.
I had a deal to marry my friend by the time she was 35. She's 33, and married... to me! I won!
Don't be alarmed: There are some terrible corporations out there (looking at you, Nestle) but there are also some great brands that are selling decent products.
I know, surprising, right? Maybe we've all just gotten used to brands selling things of questionable quality that when we stumble across something worthwhile it stuns us.
Hold on tight when you find a brand deserving of your loyalty!
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor spwf asked the online community,
"What brand(s) do you swear by and why?"
"Their cast iron pans..."
"Lodge. Their cast iron pans are super durable and can last a lifetime."
Not just a lifetime. Your Lodge cast iron will outlive you, if (and even if you don’t) take care of it. Even if they get rusty they can be resurfaced. And damn is it satisfying to resurface a forgotten cast iron pan.
Asics, specifically the Gel-Nimbus series. I've suffered from joint pain and unbearable plantar fasciitis from a relatively young age... These shoes are life savers. Very pricey and I don't love the look of tennis shoes of any type but nevertheless I will praise these shoes to the end of days. Hopefully, I will always be able to afford them once a year.
Glad to hear you've found some much-needed relief!
"Warranty and service..."
"Victorinox. Excellent pocket knives, multi tools and their kitchen knives are probably the best ones you can get under 100 USD. Warranty and service is top notch."
Anyone who cooks, but can't afford or doesn't want to invest in a professional-grade chef's knife should get a Victorinox. They aren't nearly as good as a top tier professional chef's knife, but they are night and day compared with everything else in their price range.
"This one brand..."
"This one brand of granola bars called Sunbelt Bakery. Every other granola bar brand is so dry I can't eat them anymore."
Yes, these are so good! An excellent choice.
"Dickies. High quality pants. They're meant to be work pants so they're pretty durable and breathe well. Very comfortable."
"High quality" is right. Those pants last forever.
"It helps clean..."
"Dawn dishsoap. It helps clean dishes and it's great when one of my kids has an accident and I have to wash their clothes. Sometimes leaves a small stain but no smell. It has saved so many outfits."
Fantastic – it sounds like you should be their salesperson.
"They don't use..."
"New Balance. They don't use slave labor to make shoes."
They are comfortable and fit well.
I personally still don't like the aesthetics of many of their shoes, but still recommend them to people who want a good shoe.
"They are a retailer..."
"REI. Stand behind everything in their store. They are a retailer but you can beat something up they sell and they give you a full refund."
Many people use them for shoes, for camping gear... all kinds of stuff. They're very reliable.
"I wear my Timberland boots..."
"I wear my Timberland boots almost every day, I’ve had them for almost ten years, and they’re still just about as sturdy as they were the day I bought them."
These shoes tend to last forever. "Durable" is the perfect word.
"One large bottle..."
"Dr. Bronner's Castile soap. One large bottle lasts me about a year and I use it for everything. No toxic BS in them like pretty much every other soap and they smell fantastic."
"Also when I say everything I really mean it. All purpose cleaner, dish soap, body wash, shampoo, carpet extractor wash, dog shampoo, it’s called 18 in 1 for a reason."
If you're interested in the story behind the company, the documentary Dr. Bronner's Magic Soapbox might be right up your alley.
See? Not all brands are terrible. After reading about some of these, it might be time to change of your buying habits.
Have some suggestions of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
You know what would be great?
If society could just stop with arbitrary dress codes. If you're not working with the public, why should you have to dress up so much? If you're a police officer, then it makes sense that you'd wear a uniform that identifies you as a police officer. If you're Ted from IT who sits in the backroom all day, I really don't see why you have to come in every day in a suit and tie.
Let's just toss them out, shall we?
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Levels2ThisBrush asked the online community,
"What should be socially acceptable but isn't?"
"Leaving the office..."
"Leaving the office whenever you've finished your tasks for the day."
This is why I'm so glad remote work is the new office.
"And yet, I get it!"
"Taking off sick from work, WITHOUT giving an invasive reason. I supervise a small team and so I see all the OOO emails, and for gods sake I want people to PLEASE not feel the need to explain in detail what kind of diarrhea is afflicting them, or how bad their period cramps are, or how much bad sushi they ate the night before. Just say “I’m under the weather, I won’t be online today.”"
"And yet, I get it! I do it too! I feel guilty or like I’ll be looked at with suspicion if my reason for taking off isn’t sufficiently debilitating enough!"
"But… we need to stop this. As a manager I don’t care, I don’t THINK the people above me who are also on these emails care… let’s just all agree to take sick days without any details from now on!"
I do not miss my retail days where I had to organise someone to cover me and beg on bended knee.
"Cashiers or workers who don’t need to be standing all day not having a stool or chair."
Another thing I do not miss from my retail days. Having to stand for hours and hours only to come home with my feet killing me was not fun.
"Prices on apartments..."
"Prices on apartments and their respectable reasons for such price directly on their websites or advertising without the need for a tour or any secrecy."
I always assume if I have to ask the price I probably can’t afford it.
"Being quiet/not wanting to engage in conversation all the time."
In Finland, if somebody tries to talk to you, they are probably a tourist.
"Choosing not to..."
"Choosing not to have toxic family members in your life."
It feels very liberating once you accept that you don't have to put up with it.
"Employees calling customers out in public for being a**holes."
Absolutely. Many customers get away with treating employees horribly because they know they can do it without any pushback... most of the time.
"The fact that I sometimes..."
"The fact that I sometimes need to take my insulin in public. No, Karen, I am not doing drugs, I need to live."
You’re getting that sweet sweet insulin high… the high of being not-dead.
"Afternoon naps. I’m on team nap. Give me 25 minutes to charge up and I’ll give you back 3 hours of high quality work. Everyone wins. Plus I go home with extra energy instead of dead tired."
Short naps don't work for me. I can't do a 25 min recharge. When I take a nap it needs to be like a solid 2 hours
"Salary transparency. For some reason, in the US, there’s a taboo or stigma around discussing one’s salary. This should be done openly and freely, with zero embarrassment or judgment. The only winners from avoiding these conversations are the corporations that are able to pay people differently for the same roles. Speak up!"
The "for some reason" you're referring to is simply propaganda on behalf of corporations.
It's evident that something's got to change around here, and we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
As much as many of us don't like to disrupt the status quo, there is only so much time a person can tolerate a miserable situation before things become so unbearable that they ultimately have to peace out.
For some people, it takes a while for them to reach a breaking point. Eventually, there comes a time when they realize their self-worth is more important than continuing to please others who don't appreciate them for the sake of keeping up with appearances.
Curious to hear from people whose patience ran thin and made a strong decision, Reddit Prestigious-Order-62 asked:
"What made you say 'f'k this sh*t im out?'"
The unwarranted reprimanding was something that was never mentioned in the initial job description.
"In the late 90’s."
"One time I got pulled into the Security office at a Department store I worked at. They accused me of constantly using the sales day coupons for people that didn’t present one (we always kept an extra copy at each register). I had watched my own department boss do it many times so I assumed it was okay. We didn’t even collect the coupons to be counted for the cash office, we just chucked them after use."
"They claimed I lost the store hundreds of dollars and had been watching me 'for months' do this awful, unforgivable crime for people spending 90 bucks on already bloated price designer jeans. I’m sure the occasional 10% discount was just devastating. 🙄""I got this huge lecture of how I was LITERALLY stealing from the store and they COULD call the police but would give me a chance to work off the damage. I couldn’t believe how criminal I was made to feel over it. The best part when they called my boss in who pretended to have never done it before to save her own a**."
"I asked if they were firing me. They said 'Yes and No. You will be let go, but you can choose to work off the damages so we don’t take you to court.' I told them I will just quit and asked for my last check. They said they will deduct what I owe from my last check. And I said 'Well then you need to show me all the footage and prove that I was stealing.' They wouldn’t produce footage, finally called the cops, and when the cops arrived, they were just as confused and called it an internal problem and advised them that this was overblown. I think they felt sorry for me. So finally upper management came in and just said 'just issue the last check, I will sign it here.' So much drama over so stupid a thing."
"It was sad because that actual day my Mom and daughter had come to the mall to meet me for lunch and I had to explain I just was forced to quit that job and was never allowed in that store again like I was some awful jerk."
"It was nice a few short years later, the entire chain bankrupted."
"A coworker waited until we were in front of a large group of people to start 'disciplining' me for something 'wrong' I did (I took my lunch 15 mins late to help another coworker) when she wasn’t even my supervisor. Applied for a job transfer the next day and couldn’t be happier where I am now."
"I had a piece of sh*t of a boss. He'd praise you in private but berate you in public. In front of coworkers and customers. Always about stuff that didn't matter."
"He'd also happily break company policy to side with customers after you spent an hour telling a customer you can't give them stuff for free, for example. Any time he was around, everything was miserable."
"My only regret is that I wasn't there to see him marched out by corporate when he got fired, because I had gone on to a better job by then."
Human Punching Bag
"I used to work in a Kitchen at a pub, it was grim work, but I had freinds there and had worked there for 3 years, So it wasn't too bad."
"One Christmas season we were being absolutely pumped, full out functions and busy services. My boss at the time was very stressed and fair enough, We were busy, We were all working overtime and full out. He used any excuse to completely blow up and absolutely scream at me for little to no reason, essentially him yelling at me was his stress relief. But fine, whatever, kitchens are rough places, no appolagies or anything, move on."
"I then go away for 3 weeks over the Christmas holidays and spend the time road tripping around the country having an amazing time."
"First shift back, not pleased being back, he makes a snarky comment."
"F'k this, Im out."
Even though these employees weren't chewed out in front of co-workers, the low salary without room for negotiation made them not wanting to stick around for much longer.
You Only Get One Job
"They cut my hours so I had to get a second job. 3 days before I was supposed to start said second job, my manager at the main job told me that I couldn't get this second job because I had main job first and I needed to make it my priority. That's when I said f'k you and left. I didn't even give a notice, I literally just sent an email saying I wouldn't be coming in the next day, grabbed my sh*t and went home."
"I used to work Retail and after 7 years at the company, I found out I was only making 50 cents more an hour than someone who just started yesterday. I understood if they couldn't pay me more and asked for a good schedule. 7-3 or 8-4 every day and the same two days off every week. I didn't even ask for weekends off."
"I was told that they couldn't give me a good schedule so I quit."
Situations weren't much different outside the work place. Social dilemmas prompted these Redditors to say, "nope."
"Went to a pub because a friend kept asking. When I got there, he was with a group of people I didn't know, so I introduced myself and got the next round. As I come back with the tray, I hear them saying something along the lines of 'why is that b*tch still here? I thought she was just supposed to drop off a bicycle?' 'Ya, we don't want her to come to <this other town with more pubs> and now she is drinking with us?' 'She's so dumb' *proceeds to imitate and ridicule me as I was actively listening and nodding when I was having a conversation with my friend."
"Gave the beer to random people and walked right out after saying good evening to my friend and briefly explaining I did not appreciate being tricked into being a bicycle taxi for people who hate me directly after meeting me."
A Shocking Incident
"I was on my boat fishing for bass. I casted out my line and watched the lure hit the water but the line just floated in the air. Lightning and thunder crashed and the line fell to the water. F'k this sh*t, I'm out."
"She lined my bed with broken glass put the blankets over it and I dove on in lol."
"Edit: She was violent/crazy and on drugs, was like the 20th attack I took and that made me really think lol."– MyLifeForAuir1
Ally For The Ex
"I found nudes of his ex (from ten years ago) that I’d previously asked him twice to get rid of tucked in a pair of MY socks. Our couples counselor asked why he’d kept them and he said, 'You know. In case I ever needed to blackmail her.' He said it like it was a perfectly normal and reasonable thing to plan to do. The therapist and I locked eyes and I noped the f'k out of there and moved out."
Most of these Redditors realized leaving their situation was better than dealing with the consequences of sticking around.
The latter is never a good option. Why remain in a scenario you know is already going to consume your soul?
The lesson for today is–Don't be miserable. Your sanity is worth saving.Besides, you would never know that something better awaits if you just don't get the F out.
As we enter into the summer months, people now have to decide whether or not they want their morning coffee to be hot or iced.
Lucky for them, it's delicious either way.
One could make an argument that foods that are equally delicious hot or cold are perhaps the best, or at least the most reliable.
And this can include foods which are not customarily sold both hot and cold (cold pizza anyone?).
Redditor NectarineOther4989 was curious to hear which foods people enjoy either hot or cold, leading them to ask:
"What is something that tastes good both hot and cold?"
Fresh out of the oven, or the next day!
Chocolate withstands all temperatrues
"Chocolate."Chocolate Satisfying GIF by HuffPostGiphy
Can't go wrong with fruit and pastry
"Apple pie."- Hak_Saw5000
This doesn't only apply to food
"Revenge."- pushthestartbuttonkarine vanasse revenge GIF by HULUGiphy
Let the flavor develop
"2 totally different flavors depending on warm vs cold from fridge."- nonkowledge
So many to choose from!
A matter of textural preference
"Cheese, ya fools."- eat_dontpray_loveCloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs Eating GIFGiphy
Under a hot greek sun, or during a cold winter's eve.
While there's no better smell than a batch of chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven, those eating them the next day likely aren't missing out either.