In our imaginations, most of us think of marriage as something full of romance and gushiness. Heart eyes, longing glances, blushes and giggle fits... that's the sort of love we tend to think would lead to a marriage proposal.
But sometimes marriage is something totally different.
In the past it's been a way to cement political ties, or maybe for business or social advancement. Or, sometimes, to fulfill a pact.
A pact? A pact. One Reddit user wanted to explore those kinds of marriages when they asked:
We see it all the time in movies. Many of us have probably half-jokingly made one of those with a friend during our early years. But does anyone actually go through with them?
Shockingly, YES. We want to tell you that all of these stories end in happily ever after, but they don't. We don't really think it matters, though. Even the most romantic relationships don't always make it.
What we found even more interesting was the number of people for whom this kind of arrangement absolutely worked. Take a read.
The Weird Couple
"Weird" couple my wife knew had such a pact and followed through.
Girl was a really introverted, quiet, homely type. Sweetest girl. But she never had a boyfriend as far as I knew. And we saw her off and on for six or seven years.
Then suddenly out of nowhere she invited us to her wedding.
Anyways, it was to a guy we had met a couple of times who was one of her friends who seemed very much like her. My wife teased her that "more must have been going on all that time." But she was straight up about it, and said no, they just decided it was time.
Conversation was something like, "Yeah, you know how people have pacts to get married if neither of them are till they hit ___, well, we just decided it really wasn't going to happen for either of us, and to cut that short."
Basically we were just like, "cool?" and then left it at that.
Anyways, she married him, they looked happy. The speeches were a bit odd, they didn't really talk about love but a lot about how they were marrying their best friend.
They are still together, it's gotta be at least 5 years, and they have a little kid. Last we saw them they looked happy and that's all that matters really.
Kind of. We left our spouses around the same time (not for each other) and decided to share a house. We got to taking one night and decided we each had all the things the other was looking for, plus we got along really well. We were in our mid-thirties by then and sick of the dating scene, so we just laid it out like a business arrangement.
What started off as an "arrangement" eventually evolved into something extremely serious and passionate. We've been together now for almost seven years and married for almost one. We are extremely in love and I have zero regrets.
A friend of mine married a college friend 3 years ago at the age of 33. Their bet was to get married if they were both single at 33 - but the intention was to basically prank their parents by going through with it. They intended to be married for several months and then just casually mention it, and later just get it annulled. So they went to the courthouse with a pair of friends, got married and then she moved into his apartment.
Thing was they'd been friends with benefits for a years when they were both single, and living together was so nice that they just stayed together. They're expecting their first kid in a few months.
Family friends had this pact. We were at her 30th and her boyfriend at the time proposed. Her best friend (with whom she had the pact) was gutted. He too had had a ring in his pocket. We know because he showed my dad.
Wait, the dude was gonna propose even though she had a boyfriend at the time? What part of "if we're single" did he not understand?
Happy New Year
My partner and I were close friends for 12 years before we got married. Through many friendships and relationships with other people, including one of us following a former lover across the country and the other being briefly engaged, we stayed "just friends" for a very long time:
On New Year's Eve in 2007-8, at the ripe old age of 23, we drunkenly made a pact to get married to each other if we weren't married by 30. Long story short, we didn't start dating until we both turned 30, but we got married pretty quickly after we started dating. Just celebrated 5 years of marriage, and we have a 2 year-old.
It's unconventional, but so are we, and it's ours.
I did. But we got married 10 years earlier. We met at an Inkmaster finale. We immediately connected. He lived in New York, I, Florida. I went back home and we Kept in touch. Made a promise if by the time we were 35 we'd marry each other. I was 25 at the time. Things intensified so much we truly believed we were meant for each other. I moved to Illinois to take care of my sick grandma. 3 months after meeting he flew there to visit and we got married. After a few more visits he moved there too. 4 years later and we have 2 kids.
We ended up getting married a lot sooner. He wasn't necessarily waiting around for me but I realized I'd be devastated if he ended up with someone else and no longer had him as a constant friend in my life. Don't let the good ones get away. We've been married 13 years now and never regretted a minute of it.
Our promise wasn't for when we're 35 but 30. We have been friends for years before we made the joke-promise and have been friends for 11 years (became friends when I was 17 she was 16) Through many friendships and relationships with other people, including one of us almost getting engaged to a former lover, we still remained friends.
When I clocked 20 if I recall correctly, we jokingly promised to get married to each other if we weren't married by 30. Long story short, I'm 28 now and she's 26. we didn't start dating until last year and are supposed to be getting married in June (if corona virus lock down let's us). We went through a lot of maturity and personal changes in our early 20's and it was so admirable watching how she grew and became "woke". Over the course of 5 years watching her grow, I knew she was and still is the ONE. No regrets here.
Unhappily Ever AfterGiphy
My parents had this kind of pact. Here is their story. Both of them were focusing mostly on their careers and didn't have time for marriage before then. They had been dating on and off for seven years and my mother was afraid of getting too old to marry, so she left her island home and a great job in newspaper marketing for the mainland and they got married. Things went south pretty quickly. Both of them were working up to 20 hours a day, and they didn't see each other much. I suppose the loneliness got to my father, because he slipped into depression and developed a pornography addiction, accused my mother of having an affair, and tried to kill himself. Things got worse when my mother miscarried what would have been my older brother or sister. I only know what little I could gather from hearing them fight after I was born, and I know there's much more to the story than what I know. Along I came a few years later after they had been trying for a child for years, and lo and behold, I have a birth defect and I almost die.
BUT I LIVED!!!
A few surgeries later, I'm relatively healthy and my dad quits his job to look after me. When I grew up enough to not need constant supervision anymore, however, my dad wouldn't get another job. My parents fought over it for years, and it kind of destroyed what was left of their marriage. The only reason they don't fight anymore is because my mother just gave up. Things only got worse as I grew. The house where I grew up now looks like a home out of Hoarders because my mother doesn't have time to clean, as she is the only breadwinner for the family, and my father is too depressed. He's stubborn and has a bad temper, so he acts like it's our problem whenever we're bring it up and refuses to go to therapy. He hardly ever leaves the house and doesn't really have any friends. He's only gotten worse since my grandmother died. I can't say anything more, because I'm too ashamed of the rest. It's quite sad to see two otherwise good people be so horrible to each other and live in such a sad state.
Kids On The Porch
My husband and I did this!
We met at around age ten. I lived in a violent household and he lived in the trailer park near my house. I ran away one night, and he was sitting on the porch shuffling Yugioh cards silently. We both froze when we saw each other. He then asked if I wanted to play because he had an extra deck.
We became quick friends. Whenever the violence got to be too much, I'd run to his house and we'd play. As we got older, we tried dating, but we were fairly innocent and messed it all up. Went back to being friends, but we swore to one another that we'd get married if we were single by age 30.
I joined the military after high school and he decided to go to college. We stayed connected through social media. I got married and had a daughter, he found a girlfriend and had a son. We talked about our kids and how happy we were for each other, and even laughed about our 'silly' agreement.
One day a few years later, after my then husband and I split amicably, he texted me out of the blue. We hadn't talked in months due to being adults now, and things got in the way. The text made me very nervous; it sounded more like a goodbye. His girlfriend had left him, and so much else was going on in his life that he just wanted to thank me for being his friend. I immediately called him and we talked for a long time, once again bringing up that we would never face the future alone because, if we didn't find our 'soulmates', we were going to get married at 30, grow old, and sit on our porch while I made tons of cookies. By the end of it, he was laughing and agreeing, and I felt like he was out of that dark hole.
I moved back to my hometown a few years later. I was 29 and he was 30. I kind of forgot about the plan at this point due to some family members being very sick. We bumped into each other one day with our kids and he also had a guy friend in tow, and it was like we were teens again. We chatted a bit. He apparently hadn't dated much after his his first girlfriend left him. The friend spoke up and said I should totally double date with them, me being the date for my best friend.
He casually mentioned we didn't need to date; he was 30, I was almost 30, and it had dawned on him that his soulmate was standing right in front of him. He refused to let me run away again and wanted to fulfill the contract. I swear my face couldn't have been redder nor could my heart have thumped any faster. It was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me, and I didn't expect it from him. And, honestly, I don't know why I never realized how much I really loved him also, from the moment we played Yugioh on his porch that fateful night.
Fast forward to now and we are happily married with a beautiful 16 month old son. We still talk about our journey to each other. We still play Yugioh occasionally, and have taught our kids to play too. Life is good.
As The World Is Ending...
My wife and I had this deal when we were 27. But then I just asked her out and we were in a long distance relationship for about 3 months then we ended up breaking up. After about 4 years, we tried again and were in communication until we fell in love again and still in a long distance relationship. This time we were able to work it out. We got married this past January as the world is ending. I guess we made it just in time for our 35th birthdays.
I had a deal to marry my friend by the time she was 35. She's 33, and married... to me! I won!
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
WHERE TO BEGIN?!
The list is endless.
Half the time all it takes to be better is a little effort.
RedditorMidoriSpicewanted to hear about the lack of skills some people really need to acquire when it comes to sexy time. They asked:
"What makes someone bad in bed?"
I love sex. But it can be stressful. I've always found connection to be one of the best lessons.
CommunicationsGIF by HULUGiphy
"Assuming they already know what their partner wants/likes and doesn't communicate or take any instructions."
Take it Slow
"No foreplay and not caring if your partner is enjoying it."
"I had an ex who literally never wanted to do any kind of foreplay. He just wanted basically sex of any kind for him. He said oral on women was gross."
"Proposing mid intercourse."
"Honestly? With the partner I have, I'd think it was pretty hot and romantic lmao. I'd check in after the deed to make sure he was serious but our relationship is already very serious so it wouldn't be a big deal."
Talk to Me
"Not talking or making any noises. We don't have to dirty talk the whole time or even at all but you gotta let me know you're enjoying it at least."
"I think there's some balance between having some small talk, silence, and dirty talk while being in bed with someone. Or maybe that's just been my experience. I don't know--I think there's some fun in trying to carry a side conversation while having sex lol."
"Friction isn’t always a good thing."
YuckBored Larry Bird GIF by SB NationGiphy
"To this you can add unclipped fingernails."
"And dirty fingernails. Nah, ma'am. I’m betting this is not worth the infection. Thanks."
‘good at sex’
"I have a feeling most men will say 'lack of enthusiasm' and that most women will say 'being selfish about pleasure.'"
"I’m a woman and my first thought was lack of enthusiasm, but my own lack of enthusiasm. The only bad sex I’ve had is when I don’t genuinely want to be there. I’ve had sex with guys who weren’t ‘good at sex’ but still enjoyed it because I was really into them."
"They are convinced they know more about what works for you than you know yourself. Just cause your ex-lover Pat liked technique X doesn't mean everyone does."
"Have experienced this, it sucks. He wouldn’t listen to what I enjoyed, didn’t want me to say ANYTHING even if it hurt or wasn’t working, and would just say something along the lines of 'every other woman I’ve been with liked it.' I’m thinking, all you’ve had are one-night stands, really, so they probably didn’t say anything."
"I’ve had numerous partners and love sex. Crashed and burned with this one and he really crushed my self-esteem and sexual confidence."
"The biggest thing is always going to be selfishness and the inability/refusal to communicate and listen to your partner. I've seriously had a guy yell 'I KNOW HOW TO DO IT!' when I was trying to tell him how I liked whatever he was doing. He then got even more upset when I said 'did you just f**king yell at me? Alright, off, I'm done.'"
FlavorsAmanda Seales Wow GIF by truTVGiphy
"Lack of variety. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean crazy kinks or positions from the karma sutra, but more when it's really predicable. I has an ex that had this weird routine of positions, it was exactly the same every single f**king time in exactly the same order."
Sex. Let's be better at it.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
Love is so elusive these days isn't it?
Who knows what anyone is looking for in the relationship department anymore.
It's all too exhausting.
But people we keep trying.
RedditorProblemNice5257wanted to hear why so many people are still on the hunt for that perfect one. They asked:
"Why are you single right now?"
I'm single because I've given up. And I'm good. For now.
PeaceSnoop Dogg Reaction GIFGiphy
"I put absolutely no effort into meeting someone."
"Same! Also it's extremely difficult when you feel so at peace being by yourself. The fact that I have to find someone whose presence outweighs my level of comfort being alone seems impossible."
"Hard to meet people when you are a hermit."
"Yeah, I describe myself as a shut-in, lol. I leave my apartment to work, I leave my apartment to buy food, and occasionally I’ll bring out the trash, otherwise I just watch Hulu, play online chess, surf Reddit."
"Same. I've spent months trying to find an apartment I can afford without a roommate and finally settled on a small studio apartment for $1100 a month because I'd rather living in a tiny space and be left the hell alone than share a much nicer place even with a good friend."
"I have too many unsolved issues, i can't in good conscience bring someone else into them."
"Idk your issues but everyone's got some crap. Not sure how unique yours are but everyone's got some crap. It's good to share some of your struggles with other people. Just don't open with it haha."
"Issues unresolved or not, (in my case) only makes it worse when you feel like you could open up to them, and they just take those to use it against yourself afterwards."
"I hardly go out and expose myself to people. I'm uncomfortable with the notion of myself being in a relationship at this point. Also, I'm very dry in terms of personality."
"I spent a year entirely isolated due to covid and now I can't handle physical contact. It makes me really uncomfortable and a hug is enough to make my body shut down. I'm hopeless."
truthCaptain America Lol GIF by mtvGiphy
"Supply chain issue."
"Best answer here."
That's funny. But it feels oddly true.
Ahhh...Think Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy
"I'm attracted to many, and unattractive to all."
"Last relationship was so toxic, I've sworn off dating, at least for awhile. I haven't had this much free time in ages. It's nice."
"Edit: Hey, it's really great hearing from so many people with similar experiences. Like many of you, I've been taking it in stride and focusing on bettering myself, both physically and mentally. It's done wonders for my health and I feel a whole lot better. I wish y'all the very best. Stay excellent, my friends."
"I'm 35yr old single father to a 5yr old and I work nights. It's hard to find free time to meet someone, especially in my area. If I do have free time to myself, I like staying home and ordering a pizza while drinking some beers and playing video games. I pretty much faced the fact that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life."
"I was in an 8 year relationship (married for two) to my high school sweetheart. Exactly this same time last year, we got divorced because I found out he was cheating on me with my best friend. The best friend I had known LONGER than him and was friends with since fourth grade."
"She was living with us to try to get back on her feet. Yeah lol. So I lost my best friend and the man I had been with for 8 years within the same night. So I moved to another state, got an apartment by myself, and am now single and divorced all by 26. Not really looking unless the right person comes along."
"It’s pretty happy and peaceful now that they’re both out of my life though honestly. You realize people’s toxicity and flaws the most once you get space away from them."
Bad LoopSeth Meyers Whatever GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"Because my relationships end before they even begin."
"This is my story right here."
Alright. Now that we've laid out all the excuses, let's get to matching with some people.
There is no bigger mystery than what happens to us after we die.
But even those who don't practice an organized religion tend to believe that there is a Heaven, a happy joyful place where our souls will remain for eternity.
No two people share the same idea of what heaven would be like, but everyone who believes in it probably has an idea of the first thing they'd do after entering the pearly gates.
Redditor WeDidItGuyz was curious to hear what would be top on everyone's list upon entering the afterlife, leading them to ask:
"If heaven exists, what’s the first thing you’d do?"
Overcome with joy
"In all reality?"
"Probably cry for about 30 minutes because the biggest existential fear at the very core my humanity has now been lifted."
"If Heaven exists, like 50% of the awesomeness is just the very fact that it exists."heaven gate GIF by South Park Giphy
A re-match long in the making
"Ask my childhood friend Kevon for a race."
"He used to beat me handily when were younger (9-13) and he’d always brag."
"When I got older and faster I moved away so I was never able to race him again."
"We arranged for a race but he was shot multiple times and bound to a wheelchair until he passed a few years ago."
"I wanna race him both in our prime."- Abethegreat1
Reunite with loved ones
"Find my husband, give him a huge hug and never let go again."
"Live our forever together."
"I f*cking love him and miss him so much."- jessdfrench
"Embrace my sweet wife and tell her how proud I am of the kids."- RifleShower
"Try to find my brother."
"Man, I miss him."
"He died in 2020 at age 34."- grummlinds1
"Give my mum and dad a big hug."- goonerjack007Miss U GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy
Achieve the "firsts" we never got to do
"Find my son and have a beer with him."
"Something we never got to do in real life."- tanukis_parachute
Hone new skills
"Try to play Smoke on the water on my harp."- Ashtar-the-Squid
The joy of doing nothing
"Rest."- BanzaikoowaidCare Free Black Girls GIF by AuroraDrawsGiphy
Live on without pain
"Enjoy my healthy back without pain."- Knackbein_
Who knows what's in store for us after our lives come to an end.
But living with the idea that something wonderful awaits when our time has come is all people need to continue to live their lives to the fullest, and treat others with the respect and kindness they deserve.
"Fun facts" generally refers to a tidbit of information about a specific topic which the general public might not have otherwise known about.
But the first word in that term can be misleading.
Indeed, some "fun facts" reveal information that isn't remotely "fun" in the slightes.
Redditor Alternative_kachocho was curious to hear some "fun facts" which were anything but fun, leading them to ask:
What's a 'fun fact' that isn’t fun at all?"
Ironically, something you likely don't think about...
"Your brain blocks you from feeling your organs moving around inside you."- Aydengeist06
Try watching Finding Nemonow...
"Only one in a thousand sea turtles born actually make it to adulthood."- Sebs_123
Shocking new light on an age old classic
"In the books, Stuart Little was never explicitly called a mouse."
"He's pretty much described as a deformed mouse-esque person born form human parents."- Red_Beard47stuart little mouse GIF by VIASAT3Giphy
Nature running it's course...
"There's a bird that feeds its younger offspring to the eldest."- Teacup_Cult
I have no allergies... yet
"Speaking from personal experience here, but your body can randomly decide to become allergic to damn near everything edible at any time."
"Not very fun."- smallemochick
Those poor, innocent creatures.
"In some regions of Australia, 90 percent of koalas have chlamydia, which poses a threat to the species' extinction unless a vaccine is created or widespread koala culling takes place."- tiffanyjcrusekoalas kiss GIFGiphy
They'd still be here if they weren't so delicious...
"The giant tortoise was so delicious, it caused not only itself to be hunted to extinction, but also the dodo."
"Giant tortoise meat was supposedly better tasting than chicken."
"It's fat tasted better spread on bread than butter."
"Also, it was the perfect food for sailors at the time, as their bladders stored 1 litre of purified water, and they could survive without food in hibernation for almost a whole year in the hull of a ship."
"Not to mention, because they evolved without humans, they were easy to hunt."
"You could tie one to your back, and roll another to the ship and they would just let you."
"It was so delicious, they went unrecorded for a long time because expeditions to bring living samples of wildlife to Europe kept eating them on the way."
"Conversely, the dodo, while as easily captured by sailors, tasted awful."
"It was completely unpalatable."
"HOWEVER, one day, someone discovered if you cooked dodo meat in the more delicious tortoise fat, it tasted just like chicken."
"So now, sailors were hunting a few tortoises at a time for their fat and water, storing them, and then hunting dodos on the daily."
"Overhunting, plus the introduction of rats to the environment (because sailors) which would eat eggs, led go the population to decline at a rate they could not breed to keep up, leading to both animals going extinct."- Kyhan
Don't forget the nose plugs
"Antarctica smells like penguin poop."
"Antarctica is a desert, it is too cold for bacteria to live."
"Nothing there to clean up penguin droppings."
"If you are close enough to see penguins, you will also smell them."- gummby8
Makes those long lines so worth it...
"The TSA missed 96% of contraband during an inspection in 2015."- omegasix321All Falls Down Tsa GIF by Kanye WestGiphy
"The person who had the first facial transplant had her face chewed up by her Labrador dog while asleep due to sleeping pill overdose." - User Deleted
It's hard not to read some of these "fun facts" and wonder if there should be an alternative term for the facts which aren't fun.
Oh yeah, probably not....