In today's day and age, it isn't uncommon for jobs to have really strict sick day policies. So some excuses just don't fly. Sometimes employees will come up with the craziest reasons to call in sick, and according to these managers, they can get really weird.
u/Complaintguy asked: Managers. What is the silliest reason you have had an employee call in sick?
That takes talent.
They're superstitious and refuse to work on any Friday that falls on the 13th because something bad always happens to them. The same person also once told me he cut his hand on a banana.
I cut my hand on a slice of bread once so the banana thing I kind of relate to.
What a kind manager.Giphy
A friend of mine, when he was in his early 20's called in drunk.
Friend: I can't come in...I'm a pretty drunk
Boss: Oh....You're sick and can't come in?
Friend: Nah... I'm just drunk...can't make it.
Boss: Noooo, you're sick. Right?
Friend: Nah man, I'm just kinda drunk
Boss: Ok, I'm putting you down as sick, get better soon.
When making her morning coffee, grounds got in her cup and then her creamer was bad. So because her coffee was all wrong she couldn't come into work that day.
F*ckin Mercury Retrograde...
Yup, that's DEFINITELY what happened.
I'm not a manager, but I'm a floor installer, and I run my own crew from time to time.
We had this one guy who is constantly complaining about how broke he is and how he NEEDS to work so badly, and yet he just didn't ever want to actually show up. Heres a selection of my favorite of his excuses.
- There was a construction truck parked blocking his driveway. I thought "why not ask them to move?"
- Someone had allegedly been "messing with him" and slowly letting the air out of his tires. Clearly they couldn't possibly be leaking. They were only 5 years old!
- Someone had broken into his vehicle under cover of night, removed the motor that operates the windows, and replaced it with a burnt out one on the driver's side, so now his window barely works. I mean the cars only about 13 years old. Couldn't be wearing out by itself.
We offered this dude a full time job, with a guaranteed permanent position if he proves himself. He proved that he would rather come up with ANY reason to not work.
Sounds fake but ok.Giphy
"I've got back pain, because I fell off the back of a motorcycle."
"That's fine mate, come in when you're-"
"Well, the doctor said it could be the motorcycle. Or it could be my office chair."
"Okay, well, if-"
"We're waiting on the results from the blood test."
"You're taking a blood test to see if your back pain is from sitting in an old chair or falling off a motorcycle?"
He just kept going until it was obvious he was lying.
This doesn't count because I ended up going in. Not proud of it, but my boss and I got a hardy laugh.
I was a landscaper back in my later teens. I had gotten drunk the night before with my buddies because the forecast said tons of rain in the morning. I get home and pass out, get a phone call in morning from my boss asking where I was. Nearly comatose I say, "it's raining... isn't it?"
He laughs and says, "get to work."
I told him my night and my thought process, he laughed even harder. It was a good day with a hangover as well.
Good thing he stopped by.
Me, as an employee: called into the office and had to explain that I would be very late. A flock of starlings had gotten into a patch of berries and shat all over my car. It was bad enough I had to wash the windshield before I could drive. My boss, probably thinking "Bullsh*t," (nope, BIRD SH*T) drives to my house and sees me scrubbing the windows- stops, pauses, laughs hysterically, then drives away.
I didn't have time to wash the car until later that day. It was horrible.
Some of my favorites when I was a manager.
I can't come in today cause it's too windy and I can't drive my car.
I can't come in today because my cell phone broke and I need to go buy a new one, calling from my friends phone.
I can't come in because I missed the bus and being an hour late won't be worth the money I'd make being there on time.
I can't come in today because my work pants ripped and I don't have any other pairs. You can just wear normal pants today. No no, that wouldn't be professional and fair to you.
Called in horny?
Called in horny. He was trying for a baby. Couple was deemed infertile, going through all sorts of treatments and therapies. Dude calls in to the manager and says his wife is "ready." Manager told him to take the day off. A few months later they confirmed conception past 12 weeks. Its was very exciting, but also strange.
How would that even happen?
I had a subordinate once call in sick because he accidentally closed his recliner on his cat, and apparently chopped its tail off.
The next evening, I asked him what his cat's name was and he couldn't answer.