Managers Reveal The Fastest They Had To Fire A New Hire
The business of hiring and firing is always a gamble. The person you allow into the building is basically a complete stranger. They may end becoming your best friend or greatest nightmare. A lot people can't hold it together log enough to get through the first shift. It can be shocking how crazy or just plain stupid some people are and, that you initially missed the red flags. The story of an employee's firing can be the thing of workplace legend. "Remember so and so?"... Oh girl!
Redditor _SquidLarry wanted members of upper management to admit... Managers of Reddit, what's the fastest you've had to fire a new hire?
Back when I was a manager of an auto shop I had to hire a new guy to handle "driveability" problems - basically carburetors and engine tunes and sensor problems back then. It took forever to find someone, but I finally hired a guy who had 20 years experience, an impressive resume and all the certifications.
Suspicious thing was he showed up for his first day driving an old beater Chevette, body one color, hood another, fenders another, giant toolbox hanging out the back hatch. Supposedly he was a top-end high-earning tech? First week there were problems with misdiagnosis and comebacks, Monday after his wife called in sick for him. She showed up to pick up his check. Next week more problems, wife called in sick for him Monday again. Our dispatcher figured something was up with the guy. Tech goes for a smoke-break, dispatcher comes out and checks the big-gulp the guy always had at his toolbox; turns out its like straight vodka.
Anyway, fired, third week in.
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS...
Hired a kid to work opening shifts at a local pool. We were short staffed so he was learning the ropes with me on a 5 am shift. As we opened he asked if he could make a quick cup of coffee. I agreed asking him to make me one. Around 5 minutes later a swimmer comes up to me and said she saw my lifeguard snorting something. I was obviously pissed and went to go see what was going down. I go up to the window and saw him doing more. After a short argument he finally decided to just leave and not make me drug test him. Lasted a whole 10 minutes of us being open.
PUT SOME CLOTHES IN!
I managed a gas station for a while. I hired this guy who seemed completely normal, which was hard to come by so I had him start the next day. After about 30 mins of working he says he needs a break. No big deal, something must have come up. Maybe 10 minutes later a customer came in saying a man was passed out in the men's restroom. I send another guy working into the restroom and the dude I just hired was naked and completely unresponsive. Paramedics come and turns out he overdosed. He survived but I still never got an answer on why he was naked.
TRY WATER PEOPLE...
One week. I got a call from the county jail because this girl I had just hired had been arrested and she refused to give any info to the police except for the fact that she worked for this particular store. They called me trying to figure out her info and a person to contact about her arrest. I told them I couldn't give out that info but I would call her emergency contact to let them know that she was in jail.
I call this girl's emergency contact (who was her mom) and told the mom that her daughter was currently sitting in jail. All the mom said was, "figures" and she hung up on me.
After she was released from jail, about two days later she ended up in the hospital from alcohol poisoning. So yeah, I had to let her go. The worst part is that I actually liked her.
DO YOU NEED A PILLOW?
Not a manager, but I usually sit in with the manager during interviews.
They decided to bring in a contractor; I didn't think much of his technical skills during the interview, but the manager decided to give him a chance.
He fell asleep during his orientation, then twice at his desk. This was his first day, before lunch.
STRAIGHT TO JAIL!
I had a person who was all smiles in the interview to be a personal banker. She seemed to have a knack for sales, and just, really sharp. Within the first hour of her starting, post training, she attempted to deposit 100,000 into a dummy account she had set up. It set off about a million red flags in the system that alerted me, my boss and my bosses boss. Time from clocking in first day post training, to being fired/arrested....20 minutes. 10 of those were waiting for the cops.
Within 20 minutes of her first shift she took around $200 out of the register.
We put exactly $300 in the register at the start of each shift for the float.
IF I HAD HAMMER!
Less than an hour after orientation.
Got a call shortly after he went to work that he was harassing all the women and claiming "we wouldn't dare fire him or he'll come back at night and break our panels with a hammer, like he did to his last job" he was bragging this to EVERYONE.
WHOSE VETTING THESE PEOPLE?
About an hour. Kid was a temp hire and we set him up at his job, showed him what to do, and turned him loose. There was a can of degreaser sitting with the machine he was operating. I came into my office and sat down, looked up, and watched him pick up a shop rag, spray a lot of degreaser on it, then he pressed it into his face and started huffing it. Deeply. I got up, went over to him, and said, "Come on, son" and walked him to the door. I asked the temp agency to please attempt to weed out a little better.
I had a bartender who lost money her first shift by herself. The drawer started with $200, came back with $140. She had worked 6 hours and did not have many credit card tips or anything, so she "somehow" managed to spend all of her tips + $60 without leaving the building. Yeah, fired.
WHAO ARE YOU JAMES BOND?
I worked for a major 3 lettered computer company. A new service tech was hired. Once he logged in, he pulled out a portable hard drive from his backpack, connected it to his machine, and started to copy everything he had access to. Within 3 hours security was escorting him out the door.
YEAH... YOU'RE OUT!
I hired a guy - he shows up late on his first day then proceeds to make offensive and racist remarks to co-workers and the clients. 2 hours.
LET'S GET POPCORN TOO...
Not me, but I had a friend who supervised a movie theater. They hire this kid, first day, first showing of the day, he lets 20 people in and follows them in himself. he thought no one would notice he and his friends partying while watching a movie that he closed sales to so they'd have the room to himself.
OH YOU NEED TO GO!
I work at a daycare. I'm not a supervisor but I watched my supervisor fire someone on the first day.
Most of our new hires are actually middle aged women. 90% of them are awesome but a lot of them feel super entitled because they're middle aged. Doesn't help that I'm only 23 either. Anyway our new hire's first day of work. She seems ok, doesn't make to much of an effort with the kids. Not that abnormal, takes sometime to get comfortable with other people kids.
We change diapers on a schedule unless they poop or obviously need a change. I've changed a couple diapers already and noticed she doesn't lift a finger if the kid needs a change. 10 am roles around which is when we change every kid.
I ask her to help me. She seems surprised and goes, "Oh I don't change diapers honey!" Yep this lady refused to change diapers. She took a job caring for babies... she was fired maybe an hour later.
DUDE... WHAT'S UP?
Ok, i have one, but I'm not a manager. I had worked IT for quite a while. There was a guy I worked with at a job that was... troubled. but trying to get it together. He had lost a previous IT job because he was selling surplus gear on eBay.
Through an odd set of circumstances, i met this guy in a social setting, unrelated to work. My friends that had known him a while said that the eBay thing is what led to him losing his last job. Anyway, smash cut to 4 years later, I'm a a completely different job and I see him. He had lost a TON of weight (not that he was fat or anything to begin with). Anyway. I said _"dude what's up?" _He looked super skittish and said that he had just got hired. I said cool, hit me up sometime and we'll catch up.
I never saw him again. That night he allegedly entered the building and made off with several servers. He didn't realize we had cameras everywhere and had him dead to rights hauling it off. He was given a choice to return it and leave or they'd file charges. He returned it and left.
HIRE 25 OR OVER! MAYBE THAT'LL HELP...
Two different ones. I run a car dealership I hired a young guy 22 maybe? He is waiting around after getting hired to get his passwords and is out with other salesman. A man walks in with his daughter and the guy starts loudly talking about her. The Dad hears and is brought to me. I walked out and fired him. That one was 20 minutes after being hired. The second I hired a guy to be a salesman and asked him if he has a record. He said no and was fired 4 hours later for having a Grand theft auto charge....
WAY TO GO CHAMP!
I let some poor kid go after 30 minutes. He didn't want to quit because it was his first job, and he bought scrubs entirely for this occasion- but he was clearly in over his head the second he started his orientation (to my own credit, he interviewed like a CHAMP, and some people are just really good at saying all the right things). I asked if he would feel better if he was fired (my intention being to remind him the "fired" is a bad thing, so if he doesn't think he can hang- he should quit on his own terms). He said "yes," so I fired him. He shook my hand and told me I had nice eyebrows and left. The next day he emailed me to let me know he was quitting... I told him there were no hard feelings since he was already fired. I have now learned to ask every PHLEBOTOMIST applicant if they are comfortable being exposed to blood. Thanks Connor.
DO MY EYES DECEIVE ME?
A temp we hired for a project interviewed well. Well dressed, a bit on the svelte side, spoke perfect English with the barest hint of a London accent. Looked you in the eye, had a ton of credentials. If anything, he seemed over qualified for what was essentially a grunt lab position. Did well with a bunch of managers.
First day of work, he went to orientation. I got a call from someone who worked in that building, and said my new temp was a real piece of work. Sat in the conference room, slipped his shoes off, and propped his cracked feet on the chairs in front of him. Okay? He also brought a huge, sloppy, highly spiced pastrami grinder. Left a mess behind.
Day 2 he showed up to the computer lab. He was a completely different person. I mean, like a different human: he was squat, overweight, different face and hair. Had a thick accent. I didn't know who he was, but he was not the guy we hired. The only similarity was his ethnicity. But he was completely not the same person. This guy was gross and completely inept.
We went over his resume and I got a copy of his ID. He wasn't even a US citizen. I had never come across this before: the temp company pulled a bait and switch. On Day 3, he was 2 hours late, but by that point I had the permission to fire him based on his lack of being a US citizen.
We later found out this temp agency would send the nice guy for the interview, and then send someone of the similar race to the job with the same name, and then had gotten away with it for quite some time. But usually they guy they sent was not this poor of a worker, so sadly, it went unnoticed.
There are few things more annoying than when you are seeking advice and someone responds with a boring platitude that helps no one. Believe it or not, if you choose to provide advice, it needs to be specific to the situation and shouldn't be dressed up in trite phrasing. Does saying, "Keep your head up" actually contribute anything if that's all you have to say when someone comes to you in search of a listening ear?
But this goes deeper than just advice, to be fair. Some of us are sick of greedy corporations that stress the importance of being a "family" while refusing to pay proper wages. Still more of us are tired of people using certain language when other language can suffice.
After Redditor BensReddits asked the online community, "What is a phrase you absolutely hate hearing?" people shared their stories.
"At any sort of conference..."
At any sort of conference/gathering/presentation:
"How're you all doing today?!? C'mon, I know you can answer louder than that! HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING TODAY?!"
Instant resentment every time.
I second that resentment.
I attended a conference once where the main speaker did this several times in the span of thirty minutes as he announced different initiatives.
Such a headache.
"At my work..."
At my work upper management has started using the word "activate" a lot. As in, "We are working on plans to activate underutilized spaces." And, "Let's activate a few other teams on this." It just sounds silly to me and like they are trying too hard to avoid using simple, perfectly adequate language.
I'll take your "activate" and give you...
What is wrong with the word "use"?
"I was born in Australia..."
"Your English is so good!"
Thank you, I was born in Australia and English is literally my first language. My standard response these days is, "Oh thank you, yours too!"
This one is especially annoying...
...if you're not alabaster white.
This is a big one:
"Where are you from? No I mean where are you from."
Also annoying if you're not alabaster white.
"Someone saying to a teenager..."
Someone saying to a teenager, "These are the best years of your life!" I am in my mid-40s now and most people my age remember high school as horrible and awkward. The more appropriate thing to say is, "Hang in there kid! I promise life gets better. Just get through adolescence the best you can."
High school sucked.
My life vastly improved in my 20s. Let's not convince teenagers that they have nothing to look forward to after high school's over and done with.
"That's nothing... " when I tell them something only for them to turn it onto a competition and say something worse that happened to them.
The chronic one-upper.
"But she's your mother!"
Yeah, well she should've acted like one.
"I've heard it from people..."
"When you have your own children you'll understand."
I've heard it from people who don't understand that I want nothing more than my own family but being pregnant will kill me, and when I bring up adoption as a valid way of having children they'll buckle down on that phrase as to say adopted kids are not the same. It's disheartening to hear as a formal foster child and has reinforced my beliefs that no one really saw me as enough. Why would you say that to someone? All kids are the same and those without kids shouldn't be dismissed.
"I lost my daughter..."
"God has a plan" or "It happened for a reason."
I lost my daughter when I was 36 weeks in because of a sudden placental abruption followed by a uterine rupture, lost 2.2 litres of blood. I can't carry again without risking the child or myself. And I had to listen to a variety of phrases that made me want to hit those people. Those two were the worst. Followed by "You can try again" or "Did you get the child baptized?" (got this one only once though).
"Who on earth..."
"When are you going to have kids?"
Who on earth are you to not only insist I should stop and redirect my whole life for kids, but then put me on the spot and make up a timetable to change my whole life? Not everyone wants kids.
Now that you've learned a thing or two...
...you could say that all of the responses here are an exceptional opportunity to improve your social skills.
Have some of your own stories to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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Dating is difficult––and truth be told, I don't know how anyone can do it right now, what with a pandemic going on and all. Just the thought stresses me out. Dating is especially hard for people who defy expectations in a heteronormative society. Take bisexuals, for example.
Bisexuals have been open about their struggles maintaining relationships with both men and women, even having to lie about their sexuality if they want to date certain people.
"I feel like if I end up in a straight relationship, I'll look like I was just experimenting all these years, but if I end up in a gay relationship people will say I was never actually bisexual," one man told the BBC in 2019. "Then if I don't have a monogamous relationship people will say I'm just greedy."
Indeed, the pressure to be either gay or straight can be a lot to navigate. After Redditor Trevor-on-Reddit asked the online community, "Bisexual people who have dated both genders, what are some notable differences you've learned about dating both men and women?" bisexuals spoke candidly about their experiences. Take note: You might learn something new.
We all know someone who really cannot figure out even the most basic thing without copious amounts of help. But when you meet someone who is completely and totally past all help, how do you even begin to try to help them get along?
Most of the time, they will just be flustered, or they won't listen. And you have to just stand Idly by and watch them fail.
What is your "This person has no idea how the real world works" moment?
Here were some of those stories.
The Boot, Not The Camp
When I was in boot camp, some kid put his letter addressed to 'mom' with no address attatched.
I was gonna say that its not that stupid for a very young kid to do that, but then I realized you said boot camp and not summer camp.
Don't Steal Dangerous Chemicals
A student working part time at my laboratory at a University came into my office and asked "so what all can I eat in the refrigerator, I didn't know I was supposed to bring my own lunch". I looked at him, stunned and replied "nothing, that food is what people brought for their own lunch, but you can use my grub hub to order". He DID NOT UNDERSTAND. It took 4 tries to get him to realize he can't just eat someone else's lunch.
Same student: I walked into the lab room and told him I made a full pot of coffee in the office and he could help himself. Him: "a pot of coffee? What's that?" He never used a coffee maker other than a Kuerig before and didn't even know it was a thing.
He was fired a month later for stealing chloroform.
No Ma'am, Like, REAL Bears
At a national park, the park ranger says "stay on the trails, there are bears in the area."
One lady says "isn't that dangerous? Why aren't they in their cages?"
"Ma'am, we're not a zoo."
These people are lucky to make it out of bed every day.
Sleeping On The Job
I lived with some Japanese exchange students during the final summer of college. They were really nice girls, but one of them (Mari) (~19 years old) obviously had no idea how anything worked. She spoke the best English and I was tutoring some of the other girls, while they helped me with my Japanese.
But Mari would constantly call me to come to get her because she thought we had free buses (all the buses). After all, we were students. That wasn't the issue. I could deal with that. It was a whole new culture. She was learning.
But what happened that made me realize Mari could not be left on her own was when she ended up in Eloy, Arizona. Which was ~400 miles and five hours from where we were. She had been talking to some guy on campus, he said he was visiting family in Arizona, and she said "I want to go."
He just took her with him, and she went without even telling us. She had just assumed the guy would take her back, but he said he couldn't because he was staying in Arizona. So I had to arrange a ticket, get her on the bus via the phone, and then pick her up two hours away because she missed her second bus by napping.
How...? What...? Huh...?
Had a friend who was in some uncredited scam online college for her master's degree in medical billing or something. She was on a loan program that was sending her about $5k every 3 months directly to her via check in the mail.
This was her only source of income. She kept calling it a grant that didn't need to be paid back. She was flat broke as a joke for 2 months but then the check would come in and she would be living the good life for a few weeks before being poor again.
We tried to do an intervention and show her the insane interest rate that would be back dated as soon as her "school" was done but she didn't want anyone to bust her free money dreams.
She just kept talking about all the money she would eventually be making billing insurance companies...turns out she wasn't even logging in to the online college or even attempting to get this degree.
She thought the money was free, the degree was automatic and the job was guaranteed. Some people are beyond help.
Such Brilliant. So Money. Wow
My boss told me about a friend of his, who told him af a "life hack". She would get her bills in the mail, NOT pay them, and then wait a couple of months to pay. Then she would cry so the debt collectors would feel bad and waive the fees for not paying on time. That was her "brilliant life hack"
Himbo Rights Activist
The other day, my 18yo brother-in-law got married to his highschool sweetheart in a parking garage so that they can live off campus at college together.
Girlfriend's, now wife, mother is an ordained minister. His parents, my in-laws, were very upset and he couldn't understand why because "it's just a fake marriage for school". Oh no, sweet boy. You are MARRIED. I just laughed and laughed. I love him dearly. He is a dumb*ss.
And yet somehow they are there to add these stories to our dull, dull days.
A dude (18 yo) in boot camp got a letter from home and I can see he is agitated. Being 22 and concerned for his well-being, I asked him if he wanted to talk about it. (I'm thinking a Dear John letter or the Mom and Dad divorcing letter.)
He dead *ss told me that his younger brother got a Mercedes for his birthday and that he was pissed bc he "only got a BMW". Can't remember what I said, but I knew boot camp was gonna knock down. (It did.)
Who Pays Your Bills?
When my roommate, who never once paid for rent or groceries or anything, turned down the only job offer they have ever gotten, in front of me, TWICE.
They were so desperate they called him twice, offering good pay, during covid, and he had the gaul to say no in front of me. His excuse was "nah I'm sure there's something better. $20 an hour is garbage in this city" -_-
Just Read ONE Parenting Book
I worked for a clueless couple who had no idea how to raise a kid. He wore the same outfit everyday for a month until I gently suggested that he needs new clothes. His parents asked me "Where can we get baby clothes?" This was slightly hilarious given that they lived above a Target and next to a baby boutique.
I had to have the same conversation once the child was old enough for solid foods. I was asked "Where can we get baby food?" I had to explain that most grocery stores carry a baby aisle, or that she can mash up her own fruits at home for the baby. This family decided that sour cream would be a great first food for their baby!
I'll mention that this was a wealthy family who went on vacation at least 2-3 times a month. By far the weirdest thing they did was try and drop off Grandma at daycare along with the baby.
Stories like this make you feel like the most well-equipped, with it person alive, right?
We're all well aware of the weird, horrible, predatory things men do when attracted to women. But what about when women are the culprits?
Though it seems that, statistically, men are problematic at a WAY higher rate than women, there are certainly times where the person bringing the creepy vibes is, indeed, the woman.
Some men of Reddit gathered to share the most bizarre and uncomfortable things a woman has ever said.
AidenTheGamer14 asked, "Men of Reddit, what is the creepiest thing a girl has ever said or done to you?"
For some, it was the stalkers.
The cryptic behavior and frightening detective work of ex-lovers can be unparalleled.
Some Light Sleuthing
"Found out my address from the phone book, this was the 90s, sat outside my house for multiple nights, all night just watching my house, I live in the middle of the woods miles outside of town."
"We only had one date and agreed to leave it at that. I found out sometime later what she had been doing."
"Girl I was dating asked if I had changed the locks since breaking up with my ex months prior. I'm like 'No, but she wasn't a crazy person so I never worried about it.' She says if I don't change the locks she ain't comfortable sleeping over, so I change the locks."
"This ex sends me an angry text the next day 'So you changed your locks huh? Real nice a**hole.' So she had been coming over this whole time and doing who knows what."
She Stopped at Nothing
"She kept writing me letters at every address I lived at during that five-year period. If she didn't have the address she'd send them care of my parents. The most memorable is the one where she told me she was married and 'he's a great guy but he's not you.' "
"Once not long after I'd moved to a new address I came home and found a box of cookies she'd FedExed to me. Eventually I moved to a new state. I knew from her return addresses that she lived and worked there, and was worried we'd run into each other but realized that was pretty unlikely."
"Then after less than a year, she found me through a blog I was keeping and left a message on my voicemail demanding we meet. I posted a message to her on my blog telling her to stop harrassing me or I'd call the police (up to that point I'd been ignoring her, hoping she'd take the hint). That night she called, I repeated my threat to bring the authorities in, and I haven't heard from her since."
Others dealt with the creepiness on the internet. With so many avenues of communication all around us, uncomfortable comments can come from all directions.
"Someone I considered a friend started to grow feelings for me, but when she found out I had a girlfriend and I didn't feel the same for her she found out who my girlfriend was somehow. She then DM'd her and tried to tell her that I was cheating on her with her."
"Luckily I was with her when she got that DM so I could explain the situation and then we blocked her. Next day she DM'd her again from an alt account."
Worst Kind of Pen Pal
"I started a new job, and I shared a small office with a woman my age (and a couple other people). She was kinda cute but also weird and super naïve (she grew up in a very rural area). She'd flirt with me a lot, but I wasn't interested."
"So she started sending me emails."
"They were super long, detailing her whole day. And she sent them to me every day. I never responded. Then one day she sent me this long email confessing her love. I replied with the (very obvious) reasons why it wouldn't work and asked her to stop sending me emails every day. She didn't."
"They kept coming. This went on for months. I asked her in person and online to stop, but I still got these email memoirs every day. Eventually I had another female office mate who was her friend have a talk with her. Finally the emails stopped."
That's A Lot of Passwords
"I've had a girl create about 50 different Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram accounts all to try to get me to friend her. I've never met this woman in person and yet every few weeks I'll get a handful of friend requests from her"
"Met this girl online and talked to her a bit. I did started to like her."
"Later found out that the pic she showed me of herself was actually a pic of her friend who had passed away due to cancer."
In my early 20's I was at a party and the hosting woman full-on tried to reach down my pants to grab my business."
"Strange, yes, what made it creepy is that we were right in front of her mother, who was cheering her on."
Breaking Out the Scroll
"After 6 months from our breakup, my ex called me because she wanted to see me. It seemed strange to me but I accepted. When we met she was friendly and all..."
"Then at a certain point she pulls a sheet in which there was written a list of all men she fu**ed after our relationship and she read it all to me, with accurate description of every sexual intercourse. Well it was an awkward moment."
"I was going to head home after a night out and a I was getting into my taxi a girl jumped in after me. I asked what they were doing and she said 'I'm coming home with you.' "
"Nope. Taxi driver helped me and she got out the car eventually when I shot down her advances."
Again, it's important to read this thread and remember that this is a bias sample, solely focused on the incidents where a woman did act creepy.
But, yes, it happens out there.
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