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"Can I speak to your manager?" The dreaded words that no employee wants to hear. Not because it's an actual threat, but because the complaints are typically so unnecessary and excessive. Here are some of the weirdest complaints, recalled by the managers themselves.

u/TheBitchIsBack666 asked: Managers of Reddit, what's the weirdest complaint you've gotten about an employee?



Beast Mode.

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I own an establishment that serves alcohol. We had a guy complain that the bartender was pouring his beer into "gay glassware" and I need to train him to pour beer for men into manly glasses. He was dead serious.

fukn10ply

This bar near me has a drink called Beast Mode and it comes in a flower teacup with matching saucer.

riphitter

What a miserable person.

I had a customer complain that our carrot sticks were too thick and were for horses. She threw it at my server...which she then ran to me in tears. I walked out there and she was just some stupid c**t who wanted to make someone have a bad day. Her words were, "it's our job as customers to let you know everything that's wrong."

How about you f*ck your self and treat people like human beings?

SalveBrutus

These all sound like good things.

I'm not a manager, but I once worked with a manager who liked to share the oddball complaints with us.

The manager of another department made a formal complaint against me because I was too friendly. He felt it was a huge waste of his precious time to have to say hello back to me every time we passed in the hallway.

One of my colleagues had a complaint made against him for being too helpful. He offered to press the lift call button for a woman in a wheelchair, who couldn't reach it by herself. She found it 'belittling'.

Another colleague was accused of being too happy. Whistling a tune while walking from one work order to the next. Disgusting.

And I collected another complaint for being too quick. A user claimed that I couldn't possibly have fixed his computer in the few minutes I spent in his office. The manager got him to switch it on and he had to admit that it worked fine now.

I_throw_socks_at_cat

Someone's sensitive.

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Not a manager but years ago at a job I got called into the office of the big boss. My boss was also there. I was told about my unacceptable behavior from that morning. Confused, I asked what I did. Apparently, my boss passed by my desk that morning and said "good morning" and I said nothing back. They told me it was unprofessional to be giving her "the silent treatment."

I laughed because I thought they were joking around. They were totally f*cking serious and didn't believe me when I said I just didn't hear her. They gave me an hour speech about how mean and unprofessional I was and how bad I hurt my bosses feelings.

gouwbadgers

Sounds like a you problem.

Not a manager but we had a girl who always used to complain about new people not knowing how to do simple things even though it was HER responsibility to teach them how to do said things

tommygun641

This is kinda funny.

I managed a IT desk for a very large corporation, and we got a complaint about a guy giving inappropriate temporary passwords when they would call in to get their passwords reset on their accounts. Example being "whiskerbiscuit 420" or "millertime69"

blaze982498

Sounds fake but ok.

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That one of our employees started clapping when he heard a customer said they would take their business elsewhere. Doesn't sound abnormal until you looked over and saw he was carrying a very large box with two hands, and impossible for him to clap at all.

There was only 2 employees in the area. The manager who she was speaking to, and the man carrying the box.

AquaKiwiPrime

Skeletor!

We have a store next to a massage business. A woman complained that the loud cackling of the manager of my store ruined her massage. Really funny.

mastad0420

Was your manager Skeletor?

LeicaM6guy

Not a valid reason.

One of the trades working for me right now asked me to kick a guy off site because he doesn't talk much. Like, the guy was competent, friendly enough, but just didn't really have a lot to say about anything. Other workers on site would pester him about things and he'd give 2-3 word answers most of the time.

I get that people like to be able to talk to people working next to them, but how am I supposed to justify getting this guy off site simply for not being talkative?

P0ster_Nutbag

Wow.

Manger at Walmart. A older woman would call at least once a week for a month to complain that my employee was a witch who put a curse on the toaster she bought and she wanted the employee fired.

DerpyTheCow47

Tell her the employee has been disciplined. Then tell her she can remove the curse by toasting rye bread or something silly like that.

Myfourcats1

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Image by salmerf from Pixabay

Stupid is as stupid does. And it’s pretty obvious when some poor, misinformed, potentially ignorant soul needs to be put in their place. Luckily, there are a lot of witty ways to do just that. We love a good euphemism.

Wanna know the best way to call out stupidity when you see it? Stay tuned.

U/lientubay asked: What's the best euphemism for telling people that they're stupid?

​Get a load of these sick burns. I swear, the people of Reddit are harsh.

Call outs are a universal language.

In Russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".

Humphr1es

We have something similar in German: "Intelligence is chasing you, but you are faster."

Tatsukishi

Be your own Easter Bunny.​

Looney Tunes Cartoon GIF Giphy

You could hide your own Easter eggs.

Bdiz78

The great Harvey Korman had some Alzheimer's @ 2005, and he still went on a talk show. They asked him how he was doing and he said he was OK. "Now I can hide my own Easter eggs." RIP.

Gas-Blaster

That’s cold.​

“At this point, you can only impress me."

Roman_Suicide_Note

This reminds me of something I saw in a show recently. One character said "Would you think less of me if ____." The other character said "I could never think less of you."

Catty_wampus

​I lol’d.

I think I saw this one here previously "You aren't the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don't die".

Soalindie

Once told this to my brother, his immediate response was "hey, please don't die".

Srakrn

It takes a very intelligent person to properly call out a dumb person. Weird how that works, huh?​

When the bears are smarter than the tourists.​

GIF by Smokey Bear Giphy

Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools."

BerenTheBold

As the park rangers in Yellowstone say- making a bear-proof trash can is very difficult due to the considerable overlap between the smartest bears and the dumbest tourists.

Lahmmom

​That’s a gross mental image.

In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella".

GSavvage

In German we ask God for help. "God, let there be raining brains" this sounds so weird but idk how to express it better lol.

Edit: In German it's "Gott, lass Hirn regnen".

Foxpawdot

It’s probably a bad sign when your lawyer calls you dumb.

Lawyer to client who shared detailed attorney-client privileged strategy memorandum with a whole bunch of people, including an adverse party:

Client: "Is there anything you can do to fix this?"

Attorney: "No, you've pretty much waived the privilege and now they know everything."

Client: "Is there anyway to put a positive spin on this?"

Attorney: "Well, I suppose the judge might buy that this proves that you lack the mental capacity to form specific intent."

Malibulobo

These next ones are just plain cold, but probably very much deserved.​

Meanness from a Canadian is probably well-earned.

eric cartman GIF by South Park Giphy

On a Canadian jobsite

Ahh Terry, having you around is like losing three good men.

StrykerSeven

Oof, that’s harsh.

He's so far behind he thinks he's first.

Perstn

I had a keychain as a kid that said, "She who laughs last thinks slowest.”

KatieSedai

Those are some gross socks.

Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".

Angrypunishment

"Sharp as a marshmallow" was one that went around my friend circle.

Rubywolf27

In the words of the great prophets Smash Mouth, “I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed”. That self-burn is perhaps one of the most classic euphemisms. And I just almost misspelled “euphemism”. So I can definitely relate to that lyric.

A good way to exercise your brain? Keep thinking of creative ways to insult people. Trust me, it works like a charm

Image by 1388843 from Pixabay

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