Man Confronts His Manipulative Ex-GF At High School Reunion, And He’s Not Sure If He Went Too Far
We all have an ex we wish we could just give a piece of our minds to. But should we? As we are about to see, it's not always a good idea.
I (33M) Confronted an ex (31F) during a high school reunion and don't feel good about it
I recently attended my 15-year high school reunion in my home town. I don't make back home very often, even though it is only an hour or so away from where I currently live. I still have good friends that live there so I was looking forward to seeing some familiar faces and reminiscing over a few drinks. My wife and I booked a hotel so that we could enjoy an evening away without worrying about driving anywhere.
The actual reunion festivities were OK, yearbooks, games, and cocktails and snacks, etc. I saw some old friends, laughed, saw people I hadn't seen in years...all the things a reunion is for. After a couple hours the party moved to the local bars where my night took a turn. At the first bar we arrived at I noticed that my ex-gf from high school was there. Here's a little background on my relationship with her.
We started dating my senior year, she was a junior. It was my first real relationship, definitely not so for her. We broke up numerous times during a 8-month period. She would break up with me and then have sex with one of her exes within a couple days, then come crying back to me saying she made a mistake. I was so naive I took her back. I later found out she did this so she could claim she never technically cheated on me. She would throw parties at her parents place and not invite me but invite her exes. Then she would gaslight me and tell me she never had a party and her exes weren't even there. I was so young and stupid and new at relationships I didn't know any better. She would lie to me about where she was and who she was with all the time, and when I confronted her she would tell me I was crazy. Shortly before I graduated, one of her friends pulled me aside at a party, saying she had to tell me something. She confessed that my EX had been purposely playing games with me for the entire relationship.
My EX knew I had never had a GF before and she thought it would be fun to see how much she could get away with in a relationship, true sociopath shit. I broke up with her the next day and pretty much cut contact completely. She tried to contact me when I was in college and I was at least civil with her, but never confronted her about everything I knew she had done during our relationship. Anyway, this whole ordeal gave me severe trust issues that took me years to overcome and cost me a lot of friendships and relationships along the way as I dealt with the issues my relationship with my ex caused. Eventually, I met my wonderful wife and I am the happiest I have ever been.
Back to the reunion. I hadn't seen my ex in at least 5-years, we'd both since married. I made no effort to approach her and sat at a table with my wife and some friends. When my ex noticed me, she approached our table and started talking with us, she had clearly been drinking more than we had. After a few minutes she asked me for a hug, which I declined. I told her it was good to see her, but that I simply wanted to enjoy an evening with old friends. She got pissed, called me a few names, and said she's more than an old friend, we were more than friends. All those years of pent-up feelings finally came flowing out of my mouth. I calmly told her that no, we are not old friends, and we are not current friends. I then went through everything she had done to me. The lying, the cheating, the gaslighting, the manipulation. I told her that I knew she played games with me on purpose, that she pushed me to see what she could get away with. I didn't raise my voice, I didn't insult my ex, or call her names.
Everything I said was very matter-of-fact and straightforward. The jaws of everyone at the table were on the floor. No one except my wife had heard me talk about these things before. My friends were shocked, my ex was on the verge of tears, and my wife held my hand tight under the table. I ended by telling my EX that again, it was good to see her, but we are enjoying a private conversation over a few drinks and she left our table. We finished our drinks and decided to go to a different bar.
Shortly after we arrived at the new bar, a man I didn't know angrily approached me and demanded that I apologize for insulting his wife. He was my exes husband, who I had never met before. Apparently my ex went back to him in tears, crying that I had called her a crude name for a female dog and a synonym for a woman of ill-repute. I explained to him what happened, backed up by the rest of the people at the table. I told him I was sorry his wife was upset, but that I had never called her any names or insulted her in any way and that I simply wanted to enjoy the rest of my night. He eventually left when it was clear I was not going to apologize. Shortly after, a group of my exes friends came into the same bar as us, and they too confronted me about being an *ss-hole. I decided I had enough of this small-town, high school drama bullsh*t and my wife and I left and went to our hotel.
On our way home, my wife told me she was proud of me for confronting my ex like that and that she hoped it was a cathartic experience. I don't really feel like that. I'm not proud, I'm not glad I got this stuff off my chest, I'm not happy I had a chance to confront my ex. Yes, her actions had a negative impact on my life for a long time, but everything she did to me led me to become the man I am and have the life I live.
Was it wrong of me to unload 15-years worth of pent-up emotional damage on an unsuspecting ex? Should I have just given her the hug she asked for and went our separate ways? I can't help but feel guilty for some reason, like I caused unnecessary hurt on a person who just wanted a hug. Should I have kept my mouth shut?
TL:DR: Confronted an EX during a high school reunion with my long list of grievances when all she wanted was a hug and I don't really feel good about it at all.
Here was some of the advice he got.
One
She didn't just want a hug - she wanted validation for treating you like shit when you were younger. You are oversimplifying her motives and trying to ascribe innocent-ish motives to someone who just didn't have them. Hell, given her track record, it's not impossible that she was having issues with her husband and wanted to use you to get back at him.
You didn't approach her and you gave your ex ample opportunity to leave the situation. She cornered you and you reacted accordingly.
Two
I'm glad your wife is so supportive of you. Sounds like high school reunions should be a skip for you from now on.
There are good reasons why I don't go to my hs reunions. Not worth stirring up old, kiddo-times drama that has no real bearing on everyone's actual lives anymore.
Three
No it was not wrong for you to say something. She's the one who approached you and tried to rewrite her own history and you just corrected her.
No you shouldn't have just hugged her. You didn't want to and that is completely normal and okay. Of course you wouldn't want to hug some nut case who had been so cruel to you.
I support what you did. You stood up for yourself when confronted. I think it's a good thing.
Four
Dude, you did exactly what everyone that's ever been wronged by a partner has wanted to legally do. You don't have to be proud of it, but I honestly think that, in the end, this experience will have a positive effect on your life and maybe the lives of others.
Five
You were amazing. Your wife is amazing.
You feel badly about it BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON, and you had to deal with no-good people. But the truth needed to be out there for all to see. You shined the light where it was dark. It leaves a weird taste in your mouth because it is unpleasant dealing with bad people, not because you did the wrong thing.
Six
You should not have hugged her because you did not want to hug her. You politely declined the hug and she then essential asked you to justify why you were not willing to hug her.
Could you have been nicer? Probably. Could you have left some things out and simply say, "I don't see it that way, I am not interested in reliving the past with you and am only interested in spending time with the people at my table"? Yeah, but you still would have been a jerk in her mind for not hugging her.
But what you did is not terrible and you are not a monster who inflicted mental anguish on someone. Most likely she is drunk and cried to her husband and anyone who listened and they confirmed that you are an jerk (even though from your side you are not) and she feels vindicated.
I would spend zero time worrying about this she is fine, your wife is amazing and you sound like you are a compassionate and loving husband.
Seven
You tried to politely let her know you weren't interested in interacting with her and she got childish about it. Confronting implies you started it, you didn't. And I know it's childish to point out who started it, but I think it's significant here. You were polite, she started name-calling you and saying you're her friend because she wanted validation from you, like it's still your responsibility to handle her mood swings.
It's not, so you told her exactly why you weren't. It was a power play, and going crying to her husband was also a power play, it wasn't about how much you did or didn't hurt her. It's okay that maybe you don't feel proud that you reacted so strongly, but please don't feel ashamed. Personally, I would have done the same if one of my high school/childhood bullies or abusive ex-friends tried to hug me and then got abusive over me asking them politely to leave.
Eight
Nope you were not wrong. It is good it didn't feel good to you. You didn't do it to feel good. You did it to finally let her know she did not get away with something. I actually see this as a valuable learning tool for her. Who knows who she is still manipulating. Yet somehow, the universe lined out a way for her to get some sweet karma. You did it not only for yourself, but for anyone else she was using.
Nine
You weren't wrong. She was disrespecting your wife when she wanted that hug and when she hinted at how more then friends you were. She hoping to create drama and jealousy. She has not changed.
The good news is that you never have to deal with her again. The even better news is that you know your wife is a quality woman who has your back.
But to be on the safe side I would set all of your social media accounts to private. Highschool Ex sounds like the type to do a little internet stalking.
Ten
Don't feel bad, you did no wrong. She pushed, you just gave her the facts. If she was upset about hearing the actions she took brought out into the cold light of day, then something tells me she either knows what she did was wrong and refuses to own it, was simply upset that everybody knows now, or was just upset that you didn't let her off the hook like she wanted you to. What goes around comes around and I think in this case you were what's coming around. You were far kinder than I think I would have been.
Either way, her behaviour makes her sound like a literal psychopath. Being charming, manipulating, pathologically lying, constantly needing for stimulation from other men, lack of empathy for you - all hallmarks of psychopathy or at the very least, a fairly damaged personality. For real.
I know it's the war cry of this sub but I'd seriously consider talking to a professional of some sort.
People often have this thought that if they could just face down the person who wronged them, damaged them, lied to them, or hurt them, and if they could just let go with both barrels and really let 'em have it, that somehow it would make everything all better. That they're only holding onto their pain because they haven't had the opportunity to give it back to the person who strapped it to them in the first place.
Now I won't say that this kind of thing can't be cathartic, far from it. But I've found that more often than not, all this sort of 'catharsis' does is take your righteous head of steam away and it leaves you feeling unhappy, sort of empty. It's like holding something bitter in your mouth - even once you spit it out, that taste likes to linger.
I think on some level that you forgot you were holding something bitter in your mouth and it wasn't until your ex pushed you that you realized how awful it tasted. I think talking to someone might help you work through that.
Best of luck. You seem like a standup dude and your wife sounds like a gem. You'll be alright.
People Share The Best Little-Known Movie Facts They Know
Reddit user Kuli24 asked: 'What's a movie fact you know that pretty much no one else knows?'
Easter eggs, bloopers, trivia, behind the scenes anecdotes... cinephiles live collecting them and sharing their knowledge with others.
Some trivia is well known—like Eric Stoltz was replaced by Michael J. Fox in Back to the Future. Other tidbits are more obscure, like Arnold Schwarzenegger was first considered for the Michael Biehn role of Kyle Reese in The Terminator.
Some stories are conspiracy theories or urban legends—like the body in the forest on The Wizard of Oz set.
But what about just film facts? The obscure ones?
Reddit user Kuli24 asked:
"What's a movie fact you know that pretty much no one else knows?"
The Departed/Arthur the Aardvark
"When filming the rooftop scene in The Departed, a giant inflatable Arthur the Aardvark—from the TV show Arthur—on top of a nearby children's museum would have dominated the background of many of the shots."
"The museum graciously agreed to temporarily deflate and remove Arthur."
~ el_goyo_rojo
GiphyMission Impossible
"The theme song from Mission Impossible spells out MI in Morse code on repeat."
~ BelgianBeerGuy
GiphyStar Wars
"Robert Englund, famous for playing Freddie Kreuger, auditioned to be Luke Skywalker, but didn't get the role."
"He told his roommate, Mark Hamill, to go try out instead."
~ Zefram0911
GiphyNightmare On Elm Street/Lord of the Rings
"And by extension, the Nightmare On Elm Street franchise is considered the reason we have Lord Of the Rings today.
"Because New Line was on the verge of bankruptcy until Elm Street saved the company."
"And New Line was the only company with the guts to green-light and fund Peter Jackson’s pre-production and production for LOTR."
~ hevnztrash
GiphyThe Princess Bride
"Cary Elwes broke his toe on André the Giant's 3-wheeler during filming The Princess Bride."
"He was worried Rob Reiner might fire him so he kept it a secret.
"He worked the scenes before the Fire Swamp to make his character kind of nonchalant but really he couldn't put much weight on his foot."
~ Inevitable-Roof4992
GiphyAliens
"In Aliens, after the first encounter with the aliens as the Marines are retreating, there is a scene where they get in the troop carrier and as they are getting ready to leave, an alien tries to get in."
"Hicks picks up his shotgun off the deck, jams it in the alien's mouth, yells 'Eat this' and blows it away."
"That whole scene was shot backwards because the actor, Michael Biehn, couldn't perform the move."
"So it was shot backwards, played in reverse and then sound dubbed over it."
~ LordBaranof
GiphyCoco
"In Pixar's Coco, the boy who was going to play Miguel hit puberty, changing his voice."
"The people in charge replaced him with someone younger."
"The original boy got a cameo where he is the guy working the stage asking him if he's ready to go on."
~ numbersev
GiphyAirplane!
"Leslie Nielsen was a critically acclaimed dramatic actor and leading man before he did Airplane!."
"On the set, people were intimidated by him because of his status."
"But they had no idea that he was the set prankster."
"He's actually buried with a fart machine that he used to carry around to mess with people."
~ G-Unit11111
"His prior career was the primary reason for casting him in Airplane!."
"A respected serious actor giving those jokes as serious lines was what made it so funny."
~ SaltWaterInMyBlood
GiphyFinding Dory
"In Finding Dory, the original voice of Nemo had grown up, so his voice had obviously changed."
"But he still got a cameo as one of the truck drivers."
Dead Zone/Christmas Story
"The movies Dead Zone and Christmas Story were being filmed only a couple miles away from each other at the same time."
"Both productions were waiting for snow so they could film. It was an usually snowless winter."
"Finally late in the season there was a significant snowfall. The scene where Sheriff Bannerman arrives at Johnny’s house is being filmed at the exact moment of the tongue to the flag pole scene."
~ Annual_Rooster5678
GiphyShrek
"In the first Shrek movie, Lord Farquaad is removing all the fairy tale creatures from the swamp."
"He wants Shrek's home too."
"In the old DVD extras they explain it’s because he wants to build a theme park there."
"It’s not explained at all in the movie."
~ bickel89
"Farquaad was modeled after then Disney CEO Michael Eisner."
"Shrek was produced by DreamWorks which was co-founded by Jeffrey Katzenburg who ran Disney before Eisner."
"Farquaad is also a play on the word F*ckwad."
~ TheGoadingGoat
GiphySir Anthony Hopkins
"Sir Anthony Hopkins is an incredible mimic."
"Throughout his career, he’s looped (post-production sound re-recording) many well known co stars who were unavailable for re-recording sessions."
"He’s never taken credit for this."
~ smdanes
GiphyToy Story/Monsters Inc.
"The original choice for Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story was Billy Crystal. He turned it down and went on to say it was one of the biggest mistakes of his career."
"When the opportunity to voice Mike in Monsters Inc came up he jumped at it, as he didn’t want to make the same mistake twice."
~ DorkusMalorkus89
GiphyContagion/Seven
"In Contagion the autopsy performed on Gwyneth Paltrow used a prop head that was originally made for the finale of Seven."
"The latter decided against showing what was in the box and thus, years later it was repurposed."
"In other words, we finally got to see what was in the box."
~ thepoeticpatient
GiphyEdward Scissorhands
"In Edward Scissorhands, the version shown to critics and reviewers contained a scene that got cut from the final theatrical version. The scene was during the opening when the grandmother starts telling her story to the little girl."
"Essentially, it made it clear that everything we are seeing in Edward’s story is not as it actually occurred, but rather we’re peering inside the little girl’s imagination, seeing how she’s interpreting what her grandmother is telling her."
"This brings whole new meaning to things like the way the houses are painted, how all the dads leave for work at exactly the same time, and the quirkiness of how everyone behaves.
"Once you know that this scene exists, you see the movie in a very different way. Much of what we think of a 'Tim Burton weirdness' is actually childlike imagination once you know."
"So, go watch it again. It’s not a whole new movie, but it feels and comes across in a whole new way."
~ Darnitol1
GiphySo, what cinema secrets do you know?
The Weirdest Things People Have Witnessed In A Rich Person's Home
It's no secret that as a person starts to make more money, they may forget how difficult they had it when there was less money coming into their bank account.
Not only are rich people often incredibly out-of-touch with the realities of most people's lives, but what they choose to prioritize and bring into their home is often pretty bizarre, too.
Already side-eyeing, Redditor Jerswar asked:
"What's the weirdest thing you've witnessed in the home of a rich person?"
Love Can't Be Bought
"Rich grandparents had a brand new house built, had a $100,000 splash pad built for their only grandchild who has never visited them at their new house."
- wyoflyboy68
"This reminds me of when my sister built her house. She had a barrier-free ground-floor apartment built in it, so my grandmother could visit. She never did."
- P44
A Separate Hoarder's House
"I had a rich neighbor growing up who'd always invite us over for parties and always insisted on giving us gifts and leftovers. They did this with every guest."
"They were also hoarders but built a separate house to keep their crap in. It was filled with whatever they bought but never used and even never got out of the packaging it was delivered in."
"They told my mom to take a box of what she wanted, and for s**ts and giggles, she did. It was a knife collection and sharpener set."
- MUSTARDUNAVAILABLE
Unusual Art
"I was at John Waters’ house for his birthday and he has a room set up as a lifelike recreation of a meth lab (it wasn’t a real meth lab, it’s an art piece)."
"He told me that when Bill Clinton visited him the secret service agents were extremely concerned about the room."
- writeleahwrite
Weird Pet Relationships
"One client had a whole separate house on their property just for their dogs. They'd referred to it as the 'dog house,' and I was expecting like maybe a little building in the yard where they kept their toys or something, but this was a fully furnished home with king-sized beds and a huge playroom on the main floor."
"They had a full training and feeding staff to care for the dogs and everything. They lived in their own house and would come over to visit. Seemed like a weird dynamic to have with your pet..."
"One client didn't have a litterbox for the cats, their cats I guess didn't like using the boxes in the basement and they didn't want to put boxes upstairs so they put down pond liner and kitty litter across an entire room in the basement and had their housekeeper run a rake through it daily."
- daabilge
Special Needs Kitty Mystery Mansion
"As a kid back in the Mesozoic Era (I'm old), my best friend and I used to play in a converted racquetball court and lounge under the old West Coast mansion her family had lived in since its construction."
"The stairs to it were hidden behind a closet off of the abandoned servants' quarters. Halfway down the stairs was a wine cellar. A decoy as the actual wine cellar for the home was under the kitchen….. Another staircase behind a rack of dusty bottles led two stories down to our giant play area beneath this."
"At the beginning of WWII, before Pearl Harbor, my friend’s paranoid WWI vet grandfather had dug out the space over fear of Japanese (or German) invasion. Her dad made the giant room regulation designed for racquetball years later. Maybe originally squash. Not sure, but the lounge area was also glassed off above it so one could look down into the court like a gallery."
"It was really neat. Also upstairs in the living room was a wall straight out of an old mystery novel. If you pushed a spot just right, the wall opened to a hidden room. Super tiny and had a button to ring certain other rooms in the house as the home had these already to call for staff. My friend's mom said it was so if someone quickly had to hide, they could alert the household of danger."
"We used to pretend to be on Nancy Drew cases all the time... so fun."
"The family was wealthy, but despite the amazing home, they lived a completely pretentious free life. Normal cars, camping vacations, frugal living as sport."
"But they were philanthropists too, especially supporting organizations like the humane society. One thing about this family’s home was all the cats. I loved kitties but had a mother who preferred her animals well-seasoned. The family had the space so they always had, and were looking to adopt out but often didn’t, at least 20 rescue cats, many with special needs."
"I’m old, I didn’t know how to write that. Special needs kitty mystery mansion really is actually an appropriate description..."
- waltersmama
"Special needs kitty mystery mansion with hidden panic rooms and decoy wine cellars is like, the best possible fever dream."
- ConneisseurOfDanger
A Unique Viewing Experience
"In Naples, FL., I was at a house with a sensory deprivation room. Flat black walls with acoustic dampening baffles, in the middle was a coffin-like bathtub. It had speakers and a flat-screen display in the lid."
"I heard that the room cost over $100K to build."
- frank_sarno
A Christmas Village
"They had part of the house permanently decorated for Christmas and it included a fully decorated Christmas tree that was suspended upside down from the ceiling. Which was pretty awesome."
- lithecello
New Meaning to "Don't Take Your Work Home"
"My wife and I used to babysit for this wealthy couple when they went on ski trips etc."
"Except for the children's schoolbooks, there wasn't a book, magazine, or newspaper in the house."
"The man was a publisher."
- Texbadger349
The End of Laundry
"I knew someone who didn't like to do laundry so she just bought new clothes for each of her 4 kids every week. They were always high-quality or designer clothes. At the time, all her kids were 10 to 16 years old."
"What would happen if they liked an item a lot and couldn't find it again? Why not just teach the kids to do their own laundry? Why not hire a housekeeper who can do it?"
"There are so many options, other than spending thousands every month just to avoid laundry. Plus, they rarely donated it. Just bagged it up and threw it out. I never could wrap my head around it."
- coffee-jnky
Can We Be the Trivia Guy?
"I know someone who's worked for a very rich person, probably worth billions. He had more than 100 staff on site, including chefs for the staff...all while divorced and living alone. He had a 'trivia' staff member... someone hired to tell him interesting facts and stories daily. That was his only job."
"Someone else was hired to maintain his shoes. Polish, shine, the works."
"If I didn't hear it firsthand, I wouldn't have believed it."
- mambo-nr4
A Mud Room, Indeed!
"I used to work as an exterminator, mostly pest control. This had me walking through houses from the poor to the rich."
"One day, I pulled up to a four-story mansion with more rooms than I could count."
"I spoke with the lady at the door and got started. As I sprayed, I noticed there wasn’t much furniture in the house. As I went, I made a game of counting the furniture I could find. Over 50 rooms and the whole building had 13 pieces of furniture."
"Pretty odd, but then I went into the very last room, a mud room right by the door I came into."
"I stopped as I walked in, completely shocked. A huge, full-sized (alive) adult pig stretched from one end of the room to the other, resting on the tile floor. I’m talking five or six feet stretched out across the room. Flies buzzed around its head as it stared at me."
"Suddenly, the lady (who I hadn’t seen since she let me in) said, 'Oh, don’t go in there. She doesn’t like men,' and then she walked me out, paid me, and went back inside."
- Moist-Exchange2890
His Very Own Hot Wheels Garage
"Buddy of mine has a car elevator."
"Instead of just building a bigger garage, he stores his cars stacked onto each other, like some kind of Hot Wheels accessory. It's very surreal."
- SmackEh
Make Yourself at Home
"My friend's dad growing up was one of the top lawyers in our state. Their house was so d**n big, I got confused (lost as h**l) on all the staircases they had everywhere. They would split in a few places and lead to banisters that had different connections to different parts of the house."
"They had a room just for dishes. Her mom had a huge room for sewing and another for different crafts. They both had an office. Many guest rooms. A small kitchen in one part with a sink, coffee pot, and fridge. Their main bathroom for guests had heated floors and rainfall showers and everything. I LOVED HER SHOWER."
"Her room had a balcony and a table outside."
"They had a pool and hot tub. Horses and a barn and lots of cute barn cats."
"I was very poor and had a messed up situation in my childhood. I stayed there a lot and they would even take me for weeks in the summer because my mother was not there. They are really great people."
" They didn't give handouts or anything, I would literally scoop up horse shit and clean stalls and help with everything for those horses when I stayed. I wanted to help."
"They had a maid, but we still cleaned up after ourselves. Their kitchen was gigantic, and I always loved the fancy pasta water arm over the stove. I had so much fun cooking with her mom and us having the big dinners (Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas) with them."
"They were so magnificent and beyond anything I would have ever experienced without them. I got my first pair of cowboy boots from them for Christmas. Her dad bought me a plane ticket one time out of the blue because I wanted to visit my grandmother. Never forget them."
- xNinjaNoPants
So Much Wasted Food
"A very rich person I know does not eat leftover food. They will cook a feast and after, everything goes straight in the garbage no matter how much is left over."
- duckduckroosebolton
"My husband won’t eat leftovers because he thinks it will give him diarrhea. His family is preoccupied with food poisoning but doesn’t know any of the actual food safety rules."
"Oh well, more for me."
- jendet010
"My brother-in-law’s family does this but they are middle class. It’s such a waste!"
- outlawjoseymeow
An Art Enthusiast
"Not weird but a Van Gogh, just chillin' in the hallway. I took a selfie with the flash on, whoops."
- Raccoon_Expert_69
"When I did executive level IT support years back, I found a Monet dangling haphazardly on an office chair in the CEO's extra office (which was unused for storage, and had an extra desktop computer I would sometimes use for quick tasks when on that floor)."
"Another time, I was admiring a Joan Miro coffee table book in his main office, and when his assistant noticed, he showed me into a side room I didn’t realize was there, which had a mini gallery of original Miro drawings."
- spymusicspy
It's amazing what people will spend money on when they have the money to spare. It would be so interesting to see how much more a person would explore a hobby if they had the money to spend.
Being in high school is such a pivotal moment in a young adolescent's life.
They discover who they are and where they want to be. They start making tough decisions about their future and forge bonds with individuals who may continue to influence them as they navigate the world post-graduation.
But as it often happens, we all drift apart due to going to different colleges or embarking on other adventures.
It's not until several years pass that we wax nostalgic about our youth and wonder about the people with whom we once roamed the halls, carrying our textbooks and fixated on inconsequential matters that seemed like a big deal then.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Just_Suspect5904 asked:
"What happened to the most popular kids in your school?"
The following Redditors opened up about acquaintances that left an indelible mark on their memory.
The Parents Were Wrong About Him
"One of my best friends was from the wrong side of the tracks, poor, had a mullet and wore Metallica shirts way before they broke into mainstream."
"He was extremely popular because he was crazy smart, very talented and driven. Everyone wanted to be his friend and he was very open about being nice to everyone."
"Many many parents were like 'don’t hang out with that John Smith boy, he’s on drugs and a bad influence' (He absolutely was not, it was the Satanic scare of the late 80s and 90s and he liked Metal Music)"
"He worked his as off all his life and is now pretty damn wealthy with a house, wife and kids in California."
"When we chat it up on the phone he is the exact same person I grew up with. Crazy funny and extremely kind."
– Vitaminpartydrums
No Chance For Goodbyes
"Most popular kid in our school was a guy named Josh. Insanely outgoing and friendly, he could befriend anyone he talked to within five seconds, and always did. Active athlete, was on the football team. Straight A student. Very devout church-goer. I didn't meet him until later in high school, where he was part of a Dungeons and Dragons game I joined. Always put on a great time role playing. While we didn't get close, we had a couple extraordinarily memorable times during our senior year of high school, very fun and meaningful times that stood out strongly to me then during a shitty part of my life and are still remembered fondly by me twenty years later. Josh was going places, and he'd make a difference somewhere."
"We lost touch after high school. Three years later he fell asleep behind the wheel of his truck and hit a tree. Died on impact. Found out through another friend who'd kept up with him, and we went to his funeral. I'd never seen a church so packed full of people for something like this, hundreds and hundreds of people. From our school, from his church, from all over life, the church was legitimately full."
"To this day, one of my few true lifelong regrets is letting my anxiety get the better of me when Josh's pastor asked people to come up to the mic and say something about Josh. I should've told everyone of our ludicrous all-nighter digging his truck out of the mud in a forest he'd gone mudding in after an evening school performance where we were all still in khakis and polos, finishing at three AM and somehow ending our bedraggled a**es at IHOP after getting it out."
"I should've told everyone how we found out our DnD GM was moving away on short notice, and we high-tailed it to his place after school and literally ran out of gas in that f**king truck getting there, then flooded the engine refilling it from a Jerry can, stuck with our GM who didn't want anyone coming to say goodbye and ending up late in the evening laying in that truck bed talking about science and philosophy and religion, three teenage dudes waiting for that goddamn f'king truck to get to a drivable condition so we could say goodbye to our friend properly before he disappeared from our lives."
"I'm nearing forty, and I still regret not saying how great of a guy he was to a short, scrawny, long-haired metalhead weirdo like I was in high school. Because he was. He was going to make a difference. I suppose, given all the people at his funeral, he still did."
– token_bastard
Some failed to make much of an impression enough to stand out.
However, a discourse on cliques was started in the thread.
Unpopular Majority
"My HS graduating class was 952 people, I do not even know who the most popular people were, lol."
– CorruptDictator
"My class was about that size and I remember always thinking that many of the high school stereotypes you would see on TV and film didn't seem to apply at a school that huge. People who might have been the school bully in a smaller school are properly segregated, and people who might have been an outcast in a smaller school could always find a clique of similarly minded weirdos. Popularity was never a school-wide thing because the orchestra people, the jocks, and goths, the potheads, etc. all had their own separate leaders. Also as a result we would often have a lot of cross-clique friendships and mixed parties where most people tended to be generally cool with each other."
– soretti
The Thing About Bullies
"Apparently the cliques happen in medium size schools because my exceptional small school only ever had one kid that could represent each kind of classic clique. I think the school bully trope is strange because from my experience people are a d*ck to different people in different ways that might be considered bullying. Like orchestra kids might have been a group but perhaps there was a bully within that group that picked on other orchestra kids"
– Mediocre_Scott
New York City Does High School Different
"Same. it was 850 kids in my class. NYC. so no 'campus' just a single secure building (one of my schools was actually inside a sky scraper), kids didnt leave to get lunch (without cutting class), nobody drove and there was no parking lot to hang out in, there was no Football team, and just none of the tropes you see in the media. A lot of us worked after school. 80-something languages were spoken. everyone was from somewhere else, so there was no 'new kid in town' tropes. we didn't even have lockers!
"We also don't all go to our 'local'; schools, so the kids you went to school with in Elementary school are a different set of kids than from your Jr High, and are a different set of kids from your High School. And on top of that, you also had your own set of friends from your 'hood/block, so its not like you ALWAYS were with the same kids all the time all through childhood."
"Like on TV, the kids you are in class with, are also from your neighborhood and you hung out with them outside of school, and they were also the same kids you played on sports teams with. in my world, those were always different sets of kids."
"Extremely different from all the Suburban High School TV and Movie sh*t."
– super-antinatalist
People closely examined more about the differences between popular/unpopular demographics.
Privilege
"Small town."
"There are always exceptions, but most kids who were 'popular' were friendly, outgoing, well dressed, and emotionally stable. That happened because they came from families with more money and better educated parents."
"Those parents often provided better mentoring, ensured they went to college, and as a result the kids ended up professionals who did reasonably well for themselves."
– BeKindAndWorkHard
Assumptions
"This is a very unpopular and underreported reality, as the unpopular kids desperately want to believe the popular guys end up working at the local gas station or Walmart once their days as sports stars or heartthrobs are gone. While the nerds go on to become rich and successful exactly because of reasons that made them unpopular in school."
"Unfortunately for them, popularity is often based on social status and people skills. Two key assets in life at any age."
– Kalle_79
Study Shows
"I remember reading a study that says high school bullies were more likely to be successful than the average student from their class. Once again because outgoing people who are willing to have that aggressive personality are likely to be able to succeed more than a passive timid person. If that bully grows out of being a bully they're still going to have that outgoing aggressive personality."
– Tritium10
Misconception
"They're doing fine. Contrary to what Reddit would have you believe, most of the popular kids in schools weren't bullies in my experience. They were kids who for the most part were nice, had a stable home life, and maybe happened to be fairly athletic."
– GoldenFrog14
I managed to keep in touch with a handful of people from high school; therefore, I didn't think about anyone else from my class year.
That's why I never considered going to my high school reunion.
It's because I realized there was never a time when I wondered about how the popular students at my school were doing these days.
Have you?
There's nothing like leaving a movie theater having just seen an excellent movie.
Particularly one that took you by surprise.
Perhaps it was deeper and more meaningful than it purported itself to be, or on the flip side, had much more warmth and humor that you would have expected.
Or, the film took an unexpected twist that you never saw coming.
Resulting in your needing to bite your tongue until the rest of your friends and family see the film, and not spoil the surprise for them.
Redditor HornyCorny was curious to hear which plot twists left viewers utterly speechless, leading them to ask:
"What’s a movie twist that caught you completely off guard?"
He Didn't See It Coming Either!
"Brad Pitt in 'Burn After Reading'."
"So surprising and downright freaking hilarious."- thefirehairman
If The Shoe Fits...
"'The Shawshank Redemption'."
"Come on."
"It's not always a man notices another man's shoes."- FUBARspecimenT-89
Lucky For Some, Not For All...
"'Lucky Number Slevin'."
"Huge twist and very satisfying."- kvlr954
angry josh hartnett GIFGiphyRosie O'Donnell Would Agree...
"Fight Club."- BuchseeI
"once watched it with a friend who had never even heard of it, and she called the twist like, a half hour in."
"She said it as a joke and didn't realize she was right until the actual reveal, but still I was shook."- yugosaki
I See You Keyser Söze
"The ending of 'The Usual Suspects'."- Schwarzes__Loch
Definitive Shyamalan
''The Sixth Sense'."
'I love movies with plot twists, but I never imagined this one. It caught me completely off guard."- lucasduka
Haley Joel Osment Movie GIFGiphyThe Title Is Also Misleading...
"The second half of 'Parasite'."- iwontrememberthat4
Appropriately, They Really Toyed With Your Cognition
"'The Game'."- DudeHeadAwesome
"Good one!'
"I spent the entire movie going 'is it a game? Is it real?'"- fastpixels
There Were Definitely Ghosts...
"'The Others'."
"Unsuspected end."- NeckComprehensive743
scared horror film GIF by FilmStruckGiphyOne Unforgettable Opening Scene
"'Scream'."
"The Drew Barrymore role."- LivingTheLife53
The Real Reason Everyone Is Terrified Of Bees...
"When I was a kid, I wanted to feel good and happy."
"So at the video store, I decided to rent a movie with two happy laughing kids on the DVD cover, thinking it would be a feel-good playful story."
"That movie was 'My Girl'."
"Eff that movie."
"Seriously."
'The DVD cover lies."
"IT LIES."- buckyhermit
You THOUGHT you knew who the villains were...
"'From Dusk to Dawn' — midway point."
"Didn’t know at all what I was walking into when saw it in the theatre decades ago — just, you know, Salma Hayek. Good enough."
"Quentin Tarantino slurping tequila from her foot after it ran down the entire length of her leg — that was already a 'Holy WTF' moment."
"But then, well.. . you know."
"And if you don’t know — quick, go watch it. "
"No trailer, no synopsis, no summary."
"Find it and load it 'blind' and fasten your seatbelt."
"You’re in for a wild ride."- canada11235813
George Clooney Tarantino GIF by MIRAMAXGiphyIt's Title Is More Than Accurate!
"'Crazy Stupid Love'."
"The scene when the whole movie goes apesh*t in the yard is one of my all time favorite movie scenes."- Fimbulvintern
Trifecta Of Twists
"'The Others'."
"The end of 'The Mist'."
"'The Prestige' (though, I ALMOST had it figured out, but not quite)."- Krinks1
There's nothing better than when a movie surprises you.
Even if it does make talking about said movie with people who haven't seen it a bit more challenging.
Case in point, people who saw The Sixth Sense and The Usual Suspects after their endings were spoiled for them, don't seem to like those movies as much as those who went in blind.