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Mall Santas get all sorts of gift requests, and some of them are rather odd. Others, though, are sad, and true to their characters, many mall Santas act as heroes for kids in need.


SantasCousin asked, People who have been Santa at the mall, whats the creepiest thing a kid has asked for Christmas?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

SantasCousin

Hero Santa.

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I have been Santa for several seasons, I had a special needs young woman (approximate age of 40, emotional of 12 perhaps) ask me to make her boyfriend quit hurting her. I told a lady who was helping me to get the deputy sheriff at the event to come see me. I whispered to him what she had said. He came back 10 minutes later and asked if I would speak to her in a private area.

In May the deputy let me know girl had been relocated to new care facility.

Trussmagic

Dark.

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Had a kid ask "Santa, what happens to all the dead kids toys?"

marxroxx

Oof.

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My dad plays Santa for the community every year. A little girl once asked for a nicer daddy.

Human_Fly13

No he cannot.

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My boyfriend is a Santa for private events, and has been doing it for over 20 years, so he has a BUNCH of stories.

He was doing a private adults-only party, so all of the ladies were being a bit flirty, but nothing crazy. "Santa Baby" started playing and the ladies dragged him onto the dance floor. He shimmies a bit and goes to sit back down when a woman grabs him and starts grinding on him. He tries to get away from her in character ("What will Mama Claus think?" Etc...), but she keeps on grinding. Finally, the hostess notices and gets her away from him, but she kept trying to get to him the rest of the night.

The saddest story was definitely when a little kid (4 or 5) crawled into his lap and, with a big, sweet smile, asked Santa

"Can you make my mommy love me?"

My BF has to hug the kid so he wouldn't see him tearing up and told him that that was a request for a higher power and that he and Mama Claus would pray about it. Kid seemed happy with that response.

nursejacqueline

Mom robs her own kid for cigarette money.

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Kid came in and wanted nothing except for a Matchbox car. He told me how every week he heard his mom sneak into his bedroom and take the pocket money (that she had given him) to buy cigarettes. I felt so terrible for him that I gave him 3-4 different presents, rather than just 1.

MintyLego

They've been naughty grannies.

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My dad plays a mall Santa and I used to be the photographer. Watching the older women flirt with my dad was highly uncomfortable then creepy.

Roses24

Santa fetish.

I was Santa for corporate holiday parties one year. I was in my 30's but used a spray for my beard. Looked lifelike, Kids dug it, so did one mom/aunt who threw a kid off my lap (hers, I hope) and whispered that she wanted Santa to have sex with her from behind while pulling her hair. She didn't seem to be drunk. I was very uncomfortable... Then the meeting planner told me she does that every year.

tcinternet

Daddy went to get milk.

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My uncle was a mall Santa for a while.

He said that the worst thing he was asked for by a child was "Can you get daddy to come home?"

He also had quite a few kids tug on his beard (which was a real beard) to verify that he was actually Santa.

oceanpizza123

Awkward.

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Years ago, I was in line with my 6-year-old nephew for his visit with Santa. When Santa asked my nephew what he wanted for Christmas, he said, "Could you get Mommy and Daddy some pajamas? Cuz they don't wear any...." The whole line broke up, including Santa.

CuriousTighe

People do eat reindeer.

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I think the worst thing a kid ever asked for was some reindeer sausage. He figured Santa could slaughter one of his reindeer for the venison.

Dubioushonesty

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?

You're not alone.

Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.

Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.

AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"

Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.

Nutritious

"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015

"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo

"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz

"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades

Take Your Pick

"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100

"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer

"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er

Peak Efficiency

"Lembas" -- Roxwords

"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister

Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.

The One and Only

"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox

"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits

"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo

Cheeeeeeeeese

"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified

"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85

"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy

Get a Big Old Chunk

"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."

-- Ozwaldo

Slurp, Slurp, Slurp

"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox

"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM

"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun

Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.

That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.

What's In It??

"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth

Slice of the Future

"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91

"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros

As Sweet As They Had

"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon

"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes

"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade



Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.

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