With the responsibilities of careers and family and children, it can feel tough to make friends when you're over 30. The days of running up to randos on the playground and saying, "Wanna be friends?" might be far behind us, but that doesn't mean it's impossible to make friends.
NOTE: Remember to follow this advice in a post-COVID world, as safely as possible.
"How do you make friends when you're 30+?"
Just Be More OpenHomer Simpson Hug GIF by Animation DominationGiphy
"Join clubs of activities you enjoy."
"Talk to the people at your job."
"Write a message to your old classmates or friends."
"Meet your neighbours."
"I think about 80-90% of friendships are formed based on circumstance. They're coworkers, frequent customers, or neighbors. The other 10-20% are the familial friendships and friends from the past"
Look For Any Kind Of Connecting Thread
"My story; I recently switched jobs and I hadn't met any of my coworkers due to corona."
"I saw a coworkers Volvo V60 (my dream car) was up for grabs and I was the only one who showed interest in taking it, so I went by his house to see it; We started talking and it turned out we shared a lot of common interests; BBQ, Beers, Whiskey & [cigars]. He mentioned that he and some other coworkers had a little club and they got together for slowcooking sessions! I instanly became best friends with half the management at my company!"
"Started therapy this year and that seems to be going well. I bought a bass guitar which makes me interact with people at the music store because I have no idea what I'm doing with it yet. I also get my car washed twice a week so that I can tip the car wash person $5 and ask them to put my other mirror in because I can't reach it."
Shift Up The Meeting Priorities
"I'm not 30+ yet (28), but I've had good luck with just dating. We're all pretty lonely and if you go into the first date with the attitude to find a friend rather than a life-long companion, you'll usually have some pretty good luck."
Go On. Learn Something.
"If you like languages, a language group/meetings may be a good way. They usually also include foreigners who are also looking for new friends."
Let's All Go To The Sports Ball Games
"Post-COVID advice, of course."
"Check out meetups first your hobbies. Even if they seem like solo hobbies. Book clubs, running clubs, etc. most of my friends now are from a running club. They are amazing and really fun folks."
"Get new hobbies. What I like as an older adult is different than what I liked as a teenager."
"This is an important note : I HATED sports growing up and was terrible at them. But I just decided to go for it But I started playing sports where no one cared if you were good (running is good since it literally doesn’t hurt anyone else if you’re slow) and other sports with a lot of adult beginners. Aka, adulthood is a bad time to start playing soccer, but great for curling, hockey, running, cycling."
"Like other said, say yes to invitations."
You Don't Even Have To Talk At First
"get involved in activities were you will see the same people on a regular basis. You have that activity in common at least and maybe create friendship from there."
"to paraphrase C.S. Lewis "lovers stand face to face but friends stand side to side". You find friends in common interests and activities."
You Only Hang Out When Your Kids Hang Outhappy homer simpson GIFGiphy
"I feel like the catch 22 is this: Being a parent makes it easier, because you have a natural connection to others - kids the same age, play dates, etc. Buuuuut being a parent means you have so little time and energy for friendship, so it's kind of a wash"
Aw, I Have To Go To Classes To Better Myself?
- "Exercise classes (note - I suspect this works better for females than males): any class which is not expressly aimed at a certain age group, eg. if you’re 30, joining “Fab After 50” or “Mature Bums” (OK, I made that one up) isn’t likely to attract your direct peer group. However, general classes advertised as for all abilities tend to attract all manners of shapes, sizes, ages, experiences, etc., and it’s difficult to NOT find yourself chatting to people, which can turn into a friendship over time. For dudes, I’d recommend team sports as opposed to classes."
- "Educational classes: veering towards “discussional” courses, such as the social sciences, humanities, arts, etc., where classmate interaction is encouraged, or even required. Or hobbyist classes such as pottery, painting, wood crafts, and so on. You’re (probably) less likely to pick up firm friends in classes aimed at a particular professional accreditation - as the students are just there to get that under their belt - but it’s obviously not impossible."
- "Volunteering and/or picking up a small extra casual job, if your “real” job isn’t giving you the interactions you desire."
Oh Yeah. Jobs.
"Co-workers you really get along, can have fun, and have things in common with are hard to come by it seems, but it happens. 3 of us had been going to the bar for a beer or 2 before heading home after work most Fridays for a bit before Covid forced the bar by work to cut its hours and open later."
Go With A Book And Be Ready To Put It Down
"My boyfriend works at a local brewery, he's 30, I'm 26. A lot of the regular customers there are in their 50s, a lot of single men and women who would just go there, bring a book, order a beer, sit at the bar, and chat with people who sat by them. Some of our best friends are regulars there."
"I spent a lot of this summer at backyard fires at a 50 something year olds place talking about his army days, and he's just a guy who was bored at home so started going to his local brewery for a beer every weekend."
"I know it's hard with covid right how, but there's nothing wrong with going to a brewery or pub alone with a book and chatting with anyone who's down to chat."
Never Say No
- "If you have at least one friend, or know any other humans that you feel you can stand for longer than a few hours, find similar interests you have and this can lead to them introducing you to other people with the same interest (music, sports, gaming, etc.)"
- "NEVER turn down an invitation. Even if you're not feeling up to it, or feeling lazy, just go. You can always leave if you're not feeling it. But perhaps you might end up meeting someone who has the potential for friendship!"
"Its obviously hard now with COVID and so many social restrictions, but hang in there!"
Learn From All Age Groups
"Don’t limit yourself to an age group. Older people in general and who have nothing to prove can end up being your most supportive. They can also mentor you. And you can give them energy and cultural updates to keep them in the know. I’m 68 and my fiancé is 81 and we often have more energy than those under 50. And we have lots of stuff, good stuff, we want to share or give away and we have. A win for each other. And we don’t judge as we have probably been there."
Reciprocate The Effort
"If someone makes an effort to get to know you better, reciprocate the effort and find out what they're interested in. If you find something in common, then do whatever it happens to be with them (ie gaming, working out, etc...) and use the common interest as a bridge to do other stuff together."
"Honestly way better at making friends now than I was in my teens or 20s as well because I've basically accepted I am who I am as well instead of trying to be someone who I'm not"
When You Give Back, The Universe Gives To YouGreeting Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"I felt lost when my Marriage ended. So I volunteered in the community , And found myself, found new friends, and found a sense of purpose for my spare time. Now, three years later when I go walking in the neighbourhood, I can say hello to a great number of people and I never feel alone. More than that, I'm hanging out with great people that also want to help the neighbourhood. In conclusion, Try volunteering."
Be bold, be brave, and don't be afraid to let someone new into your life.
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You know what would be great?
If society could just stop with arbitrary dress codes. If you're not working with the public, why should you have to dress up so much? If you're a police officer, then it makes sense that you'd wear a uniform that identifies you as a police officer. If you're Ted from IT who sits in the backroom all day, I really don't see why you have to come in every day in a suit and tie.
Let's just toss them out, shall we?
People shared their thoughts with us after Redditor Levels2ThisBrush asked the online community,
"What should be socially acceptable but isn't?"
"Leaving the office..."
"Leaving the office whenever you've finished your tasks for the day."
This is why I'm so glad remote work is the new office.
"And yet, I get it!"
"Taking off sick from work, WITHOUT giving an invasive reason. I supervise a small team and so I see all the OOO emails, and for gods sake I want people to PLEASE not feel the need to explain in detail what kind of diarrhea is afflicting them, or how bad their period cramps are, or how much bad sushi they ate the night before. Just say “I’m under the weather, I won’t be online today.”"
"And yet, I get it! I do it too! I feel guilty or like I’ll be looked at with suspicion if my reason for taking off isn’t sufficiently debilitating enough!"
"But… we need to stop this. As a manager I don’t care, I don’t THINK the people above me who are also on these emails care… let’s just all agree to take sick days without any details from now on!"
I do not miss my retail days where I had to organise someone to cover me and beg on bended knee.
"Cashiers or workers who don’t need to be standing all day not having a stool or chair."
Another thing I do not miss from my retail days. Having to stand for hours and hours only to come home with my feet killing me was not fun.
"Prices on apartments..."
"Prices on apartments and their respectable reasons for such price directly on their websites or advertising without the need for a tour or any secrecy."
I always assume if I have to ask the price I probably can’t afford it.
"Being quiet/not wanting to engage in conversation all the time."
In Finland, if somebody tries to talk to you, they are probably a tourist.
"Choosing not to..."
"Choosing not to have toxic family members in your life."
It feels very liberating once you accept that you don't have to put up with it.
"Employees calling customers out in public for being a**holes."
Absolutely. Many customers get away with treating employees horribly because they know they can do it without any pushback... most of the time.
"The fact that I sometimes..."
"The fact that I sometimes need to take my insulin in public. No, Karen, I am not doing drugs, I need to live."
You’re getting that sweet sweet insulin high… the high of being not-dead.
"Afternoon naps. I’m on team nap. Give me 25 minutes to charge up and I’ll give you back 3 hours of high quality work. Everyone wins. Plus I go home with extra energy instead of dead tired."
Short naps don't work for me. I can't do a 25 min recharge. When I take a nap it needs to be like a solid 2 hours
"Salary transparency. For some reason, in the US, there’s a taboo or stigma around discussing one’s salary. This should be done openly and freely, with zero embarrassment or judgment. The only winners from avoiding these conversations are the corporations that are able to pay people differently for the same roles. Speak up!"
The "for some reason" you're referring to is simply propaganda on behalf of corporations.
It's evident that something's got to change around here, and we're mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore!
Have some observations of your own? Feel free to tell us more in the comments below!
As much as many of us don't like to disrupt the status quo, there is only so much time a person can tolerate a miserable situation before things become so unbearable that they ultimately have to peace out.
For some people, it takes a while for them to reach a breaking point. Eventually, there comes a time when they realize their self-worth is more important than continuing to please others who don't appreciate them for the sake of keeping up with appearances.
Curious to hear from people whose patience ran thin and made a strong decision, Reddit Prestigious-Order-62 asked:
"What made you say 'f'k this sh*t im out?'"
The unwarranted reprimanding was something that was never mentioned in the initial job description.
"In the late 90’s."
"One time I got pulled into the Security office at a Department store I worked at. They accused me of constantly using the sales day coupons for people that didn’t present one (we always kept an extra copy at each register). I had watched my own department boss do it many times so I assumed it was okay. We didn’t even collect the coupons to be counted for the cash office, we just chucked them after use."
"They claimed I lost the store hundreds of dollars and had been watching me 'for months' do this awful, unforgivable crime for people spending 90 bucks on already bloated price designer jeans. I’m sure the occasional 10% discount was just devastating. 🙄""I got this huge lecture of how I was LITERALLY stealing from the store and they COULD call the police but would give me a chance to work off the damage. I couldn’t believe how criminal I was made to feel over it. The best part when they called my boss in who pretended to have never done it before to save her own a**."
"I asked if they were firing me. They said 'Yes and No. You will be let go, but you can choose to work off the damages so we don’t take you to court.' I told them I will just quit and asked for my last check. They said they will deduct what I owe from my last check. And I said 'Well then you need to show me all the footage and prove that I was stealing.' They wouldn’t produce footage, finally called the cops, and when the cops arrived, they were just as confused and called it an internal problem and advised them that this was overblown. I think they felt sorry for me. So finally upper management came in and just said 'just issue the last check, I will sign it here.' So much drama over so stupid a thing."
"It was sad because that actual day my Mom and daughter had come to the mall to meet me for lunch and I had to explain I just was forced to quit that job and was never allowed in that store again like I was some awful jerk."
"It was nice a few short years later, the entire chain bankrupted."
"A coworker waited until we were in front of a large group of people to start 'disciplining' me for something 'wrong' I did (I took my lunch 15 mins late to help another coworker) when she wasn’t even my supervisor. Applied for a job transfer the next day and couldn’t be happier where I am now."
"I had a piece of sh*t of a boss. He'd praise you in private but berate you in public. In front of coworkers and customers. Always about stuff that didn't matter."
"He'd also happily break company policy to side with customers after you spent an hour telling a customer you can't give them stuff for free, for example. Any time he was around, everything was miserable."
"My only regret is that I wasn't there to see him marched out by corporate when he got fired, because I had gone on to a better job by then."
Human Punching Bag
"I used to work in a Kitchen at a pub, it was grim work, but I had freinds there and had worked there for 3 years, So it wasn't too bad."
"One Christmas season we were being absolutely pumped, full out functions and busy services. My boss at the time was very stressed and fair enough, We were busy, We were all working overtime and full out. He used any excuse to completely blow up and absolutely scream at me for little to no reason, essentially him yelling at me was his stress relief. But fine, whatever, kitchens are rough places, no appolagies or anything, move on."
"I then go away for 3 weeks over the Christmas holidays and spend the time road tripping around the country having an amazing time."
"First shift back, not pleased being back, he makes a snarky comment."
"F'k this, Im out."
Even though these employees weren't chewed out in front of co-workers, the low salary without room for negotiation made them not wanting to stick around for much longer.
You Only Get One Job
"They cut my hours so I had to get a second job. 3 days before I was supposed to start said second job, my manager at the main job told me that I couldn't get this second job because I had main job first and I needed to make it my priority. That's when I said f'k you and left. I didn't even give a notice, I literally just sent an email saying I wouldn't be coming in the next day, grabbed my sh*t and went home."
"I used to work Retail and after 7 years at the company, I found out I was only making 50 cents more an hour than someone who just started yesterday. I understood if they couldn't pay me more and asked for a good schedule. 7-3 or 8-4 every day and the same two days off every week. I didn't even ask for weekends off."
"I was told that they couldn't give me a good schedule so I quit."
Situations weren't much different outside the work place. Social dilemmas prompted these Redditors to say, "nope."
"Went to a pub because a friend kept asking. When I got there, he was with a group of people I didn't know, so I introduced myself and got the next round. As I come back with the tray, I hear them saying something along the lines of 'why is that b*tch still here? I thought she was just supposed to drop off a bicycle?' 'Ya, we don't want her to come to <this other town with more pubs> and now she is drinking with us?' 'She's so dumb' *proceeds to imitate and ridicule me as I was actively listening and nodding when I was having a conversation with my friend."
"Gave the beer to random people and walked right out after saying good evening to my friend and briefly explaining I did not appreciate being tricked into being a bicycle taxi for people who hate me directly after meeting me."
A Shocking Incident
"I was on my boat fishing for bass. I casted out my line and watched the lure hit the water but the line just floated in the air. Lightning and thunder crashed and the line fell to the water. F'k this sh*t, I'm out."
"She lined my bed with broken glass put the blankets over it and I dove on in lol."
"Edit: She was violent/crazy and on drugs, was like the 20th attack I took and that made me really think lol."– MyLifeForAuir1
Ally For The Ex
"I found nudes of his ex (from ten years ago) that I’d previously asked him twice to get rid of tucked in a pair of MY socks. Our couples counselor asked why he’d kept them and he said, 'You know. In case I ever needed to blackmail her.' He said it like it was a perfectly normal and reasonable thing to plan to do. The therapist and I locked eyes and I noped the f'k out of there and moved out."
Most of these Redditors realized leaving their situation was better than dealing with the consequences of sticking around.
The latter is never a good option. Why remain in a scenario you know is already going to consume your soul?
The lesson for today is–Don't be miserable. Your sanity is worth saving.Besides, you would never know that something better awaits if you just don't get the F out.
As we enter into the summer months, people now have to decide whether or not they want their morning coffee to be hot or iced.
Lucky for them, it's delicious either way.
One could make an argument that foods that are equally delicious hot or cold are perhaps the best, or at least the most reliable.
And this can include foods which are not customarily sold both hot and cold (cold pizza anyone?).
Redditor NectarineOther4989 was curious to hear which foods people enjoy either hot or cold, leading them to ask:
"What is something that tastes good both hot and cold?"
Fresh out of the oven, or the next day!
Chocolate withstands all temperatrues
"Chocolate."Chocolate Satisfying GIF by HuffPostGiphy
Can't go wrong with fruit and pastry
"Apple pie."- Hak_Saw5000
This doesn't only apply to food
"Revenge."- pushthestartbuttonkarine vanasse revenge GIF by HULUGiphy
Let the flavor develop
"2 totally different flavors depending on warm vs cold from fridge."- nonkowledge
So many to choose from!
A matter of textural preference
"Cheese, ya fools."- eat_dontpray_loveCloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs Eating GIFGiphy
Under a hot greek sun, or during a cold winter's eve.
While there's no better smell than a batch of chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven, those eating them the next day likely aren't missing out either.
Those who are truly superstitious have trouble shaking off customs which others might find somewhat silly.
These include holding your breath when passing a cemetery, throwing salt over your shoulder after spilling it, or not stepping on cracks for fear of breaking their mother's backs.
But even though it has been irrefutably proven that there is absolutely no validity to these superstitions, these same people will likely never stop performing these customs.
Nor will some others ever stop believing myths and hoaxes which have likewise proven to be one-hundred percent false.
Redditor Jimbo_Jigs was curious to learn the things people will never stop believing, despite ample evidence to the contrary, leading them to ask:
"What is proven to be a hoax but people still believe it to be true?"
"That cracking your knuckles gives you arthritis."- SnooCompliments9257
Though, it's still wise to avoid doing this...
"If you pull out a grey hair three more grow in its place, my sister still believes this one."- oopySpaff
Something to seriously think about.
"We only use 10% or our brain."- wiggywithitbrain GIFGiphy
Though they might still not be please you'r touching their child!
"Touching a baby bird will make its parents reject it."
"Any baby animal."
"When in doubt, reach out to your local wildlife rehabilitation network/individual."- JustMeerkats
I can sleep with my mouth open? Who knew!
"That you swallow 8 spiders a year in your sleep."- rentinghappiness
Never pay others to be an entrepreneur.
"MLMs, Boss babes, 'be your own boss' scams."
"I'm not sure how many documentaries need to be put on YouTube before people will stop buying into these companies and wasting their money."- ImAGhostOooooooo
It's literally quite the opposite
"Shaving making hair grow in thicker."- offbrandbarbie
Though a balanced diet doesn't hurt...
"The food pyramid."- sd2528
Best to stay out of the mouths of others regardless
"That dogs mouths are cleaner than humans!"- Mental_Investigator3Giphy
Just makes you more visible.
"It’s illegal to keep the light on in the car while driving."- rerhodes770
It seems that there is no amount of convincing that will ever lead these people to realize that they've been duped.
And one can't help but wonder what people do with the false information that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a humans?