Make-A-Wish Employees Share The Strangest Requests That Were Actually Granted
Image by martinnlp90 from Pixabay |
Everyone has a bucket list, even if we haven't written it down. We all have a few ideas in the back of our minds about the things we want to do or see before it's lights out on life.
That's why the Make-A-Wish foundation is so special. They are often able to gift children extraordinary life highlights in the midst of tragedy and sorrow.
And every once in a while some of those requests are a bit surprising and off the wall. Hey, to each their own. Who knows why any of us love the things we love.
Redditor u/The_King123431wanted to hear all about the wishes that have made people go... "Hmmmm!" By asking:
Make a wish employees, what was the strangest wish a kid asked for and actually received?
If tragedy had struck me at 5, I know I would've asked to meet ALF. I thought he was real...and Kermit & Piggy. Like I would've loved a tea and ice cream party with them. Actually... I would still ask for that now.
Mulan
China Oops GIFGiphy"I had cancer when I was very young and I was able to get a Make-A-Wish. Without hesitation, I said I wished I could eat Butterfingers with Mulan."
"It was my favorite candy and my favorite Disney character at the time so it made sense to me. But they didn't really know what to do, so they just sent me off to Disney World lol. Every time I go to Disney, I always bring Butterfingers with me & I always try to find Mulan in hopes my wish can come true. Maybe one day!"
"Ayo. Wish higher."
"I shot an internal promotional video for Make a Wish once. I got to read through a big book of wishes they had granted. Some of them were so extravagant and amazing. Family vacations, celebrity meetings. And then I saw a 3 year old who wished for a banana split for breakfast. And that's what they gave him. No one was like "Ayo. Wish higher."
Jewels...
"I helped host a visit to a planetarium by a kid whose wish was to go to the moon. The front office folks thought I could just give her a personal tour of the planetarium and show her some nice high-resolution visuals, but I thought she deserved better than that. I commissioned a jeweler friend and meteorite enthusiast to make a silver crescent moon necklace, which he graciously donated to the cause, and I donated a small lunar meteorite from my own collection."
"It was a gorgeous necklace very much to the credit of my friend's artistry and generosity. We couldn't take her to the moon so we gave it to her instead. She was thrilled, but later said her real highlight of the trip was the astronaut ice cream. Ah, kids."
A Few Ideas...
- "To be a "merman" (a boy mermaid). He got a tail and swam in the giant tank with other mermaids at the aquarium.
- To play football with "the red team" (no pro or college preference - just had to be red). USC made it happen."
"3) To be a "cool kid": Got a limo ride to the mall.. red carpet entrance with cheering fans, signed autographs, shopping spree for clothes. 5 years old- So cute- and very "cool."
"4) To be Robin (not Batman... he said he wasn't ready for that). Went on an epic adventure fighting crime with Batman."
Thanks Vlasic
Big Deal Sunglasses GIF by Dietz & WatsonGiphy"There was a Make-a-Wish kid in a class I taught once and their wish was to tour a pickle factory. Pickles were their all time favorite food and they wanted to see how the sausage was made so to speak. Apparently Vlasic rose to the occasion in a major way and she had the time of her life."
Now I want a pickle and I think I need to rewatch "Mulan." At 12, I def would've asked to meet Madonna. No, I would've asked to go on tour with Madonna. And I would've wanted an endless supply of Fun-Dip. Remember that?
2 of a Kind
baby delivering GIFGiphy"I know someone who was granted a wish. Of all things they could choose, they asked for 2 tiny birds, 2 budgies."
- jdicaire
What up LEGO??
"I worked at a LEGO retail store in the 2000s and Make-A-Wish approached us for a child with terminal Osteosarcoma who wanted to be in the store for a day. LEGO unfortunately denied the request (which surprised myself and the rest of the staff because LEGO was a pretty great company)."
"Staff decided to honor the request ourselves. We closed the store early on a Sunday, then invited the kid and family in. He had a full run of the store, we collectively paid for like $1000 worth of toys for him to take home, and just spent the entire evening building w/e he wanted. He died a few months later 😭."
People Share The Craziest Lies They've Told That Came True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Hey Brandon
"In wizard 101 there's a quest with an NPC named Brandon, named after a make a wish kid who played the game, and his request was to design a side quest for the game. You meet Brandon and go help him clear out this dungeon with 2 really freaking hard bosses, was a lotta fun. At the end you get a gem you can socket that lets you summon Brandon into battle as a follower, pretty cool. Not sure what ended up happening to Brandon, but it's really cool that thousands of ppl have gotten to enjoy being a part of his wish tbh."
The Doc is In...
"I was approached by a similar organization who wanted to arrange a day for a kid to shadow a veterinarian. I'm just a small animal veterinarian with a small hospital so I found it odd that I'd be approached. I said yes (who tf would say no?) and we picked a day and had our regular patients in the hospital and the kid got to watch us do our thing for a day."
"We gave him a lab coat and a stethoscope and let him tag along and see x rays and ultrasounds and watch surgeries. I brought my dog in so he could try the ultrasound on her. He seemed to enjoy it. It wasn't a terribly strange request really, it just seems like my day-to-day isn't something anyone would consider their dream experience."
- TankVet
FORE!!
golf swinging GIFGiphy"My cousin was a Make a Wish kid. He loved golf, like had a scholarship to go play college, he loved it so much. He got to meet and play a round of golf with Payne Stewart. Unfortunately, he died not too long after that. I hate you cancer!"
The Back Up
"My daughter was a Make A Wish kid. She asked to go to Australia to meet the Wiggles. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to travel that far (we live in the US) health wise. She made a second wish, to meet Captain America. We never told Cap that he was a back up wish after the Wiggles were a no-go. LOL"
"but it can be anything you want!"
"When my sister was 5 and I was 8, she had cancer and had the opportunity to make a wish. When our mom and the make-a-wish person sat down with her, they told her she could wish for whatever she wanted. She just kept saying she wanted macaroni. They kept saying "but it can be anything you want!" Yet she simply wanted macaroni and cheese. After some strong encouragement to think bigger, and the make-a-wish person suggesting Disneyland, she chose to go to Disneyland."
The Blast
"My friend, I'm 14 and my good buddy had ALL leukemia. He asked for a ride in a fighter jet and he somehow got it! I was surprised because the doctors would say how his bones where getting fragile and weaker and I guess I though the G force of the jet would hurt him but he was fine and had a blast. He's doing better now and is scheduled out in about 3 months. :)"
Christmas Forever
Despicable Me Dance GIFGiphy"After I survived cancer at 17, I was offered a wish. I went to Christmas Island with my family to see the spawning of the red crabs - reckoned to be one of the seven natural wonders of the world."
"Picture it, a million fist sized red land crabs making their way down to the sea edge to release their eggs into the ocean over a period of just three hours or so. The make a wish volunteers looked horrified as I explained it. And Im typing this now, so yes, I lived thanks. Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure my wish caught my family a bit off guard too."
For Ben
"I had a coworker at my student job in college who had leukemia as a child. He wished to be in the Iditarod so they flew his family to Alaska and he got to meet all the dogs and ride in a sled for a leg of the race. If I remember correctly he also got a husky puppy."
"He was 20 when I met him. I was a couple of years older and graduated college and never saw him again. The leukemia came back and he died in 2016. I don't think he was much older than 25. One of the nicest guys I've ever met. I hope heaven is real just for you, Ben."
VIP!!
"I was granted a wish after beating brain cancer in 2015. They flew my mum and I out to the capital city of our state and we stayed in the flashiest, most expensive hotel suite with all the bells and whistles. We got free dinner, drinks and dessert on arrival, got to chill in the VIP lounge while we were waiting for our room. Our room was decorated with teddy bears and chocolates and MAW decorations."
"The next day we were chauffeured to the local mall in a limo and I went on an eleven hour shopping spree with a pre-loaded VISA card and bought every solitary thing you would imagine a 16 year old girl wanting. I ended up having to buy another suitcase to take everything home with me but it was the most epic 3 days of my life. I'll never forget it."
Stacy
"I was a chef at a fancy steakhouse in Jacksonville Florida, one day my proprietor came To me and said this is Stacy the new girl she'll be training with you, I look over and it's this adorable little girl in bright pink chef coat. I babysat my little cousins at the time. So I was actually pretty used to entertaining 10 year old girls at the time."
"So I showed her the ropes, we made all kinds of stuff, that were on the surface kind of random, candied bacon, cornbread, prosciutto wrapped Boursin cheese stuffed asparagus, a sweet tea brined pork chop, a sorel garnish salad type thing and some other cool garnishes. We were having fun, I then made a purée out of the cornbread let her plate up the dish a few different ways to show how you can play with ingredients and height to showcase different parts of the dish."
"She had a blast. It was only at the end when the father came up to me In tears that I realized what was goin' on. In the moment I was a little upset because nobody told me. But I realized after it was for the best. I probably would not have been as bright and vibrant with the "lessons" had I known of. But it was a fulfilling experience for sure. I hope their family is doing well. Side note ( I have re worked and re ran the dish as a special a few times in memory of that day, it was that impactful)."
Let's Hang
"When I was on a carrier they flew a kid and his parents out. They routinely fly distinguished visitors but we thought it was weird there was this kid. They got tours and watched flight ops but he couldn't fly with us so they asked us to have dinner with him so he could at least meet pilots and ask questions. It was really humbling when we realized this is what he was there for, he literally wished to just come see what we do and hang it with us."
- Jakl42
Get the Meow Meow...
"I'm a MAW volunteer. The volunteers get to do all the fun stuff, like meet with the families, get the kids excited about their wish (we send little gifts and stuff along the way) and then be there when the wish is granted. We don't have to do any of the boring admin stuff."
"I have a little girl right now whose original wish was a unicorn (6 y/o with severe epilepsy, has like 15 seizures a day and has been through like 10 surgeries already). She wasn't having any of that "fake" stuff, like a stuffed animal or a costume. She insisted for weeks on a unicorn. That one was hard to manage. She's getting a cat."
Yo Adam...
adam sandler snl GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"Wasn't weird or anything but one of my friends had leukemia in 8th grade and her Wish was to meet Adam Sandler. So she got to spend the day on set of The Longest Yard with him."
I love these stories when I hear them. They make me believe in humanity, briefly. At my current age... I'd still want to meet ALF and Madonna but also, bourbon and tea with Adele. And you?
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People Confess Dreaming Of Doing Something All Their Life Then Hating It Once They Did It
Reddit user buzzkill007 asked: 'Have you ever dreamed of doing something your whole life only to find out, once you did it, that you hated it? What was it?'
They say "Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
You know, the notion that we shouldn't fear things we haven't tried and that getting out of our comfort zone could lead to a wealth of wonderful discoveries.
Most times, fear isn't preventing us from trying the things we've been wanting to try–whether it's a new career or a hobby. We just haven't gotten there yet.
But take note, it's not always what it seems once we get there.
Curious to hear from strangers, Redditor buzzkill007 asked:
"Have you ever dreamed of doing something your whole life only to find out, once you did it, that you hated it? What was it?"
The stress level in medical professions is not for everyone.
Helping Saving Lives
"Being an EMT"
"I had planned on it being my lifelong career since middle school. I loved the medical field and wanted to save lives but knew I wouldn’t have the stamina to get through medical school."
"I got into training as soon as I graduated high school and I was top of my class in the educational sense, but as soon as I started doing ride-alongs everything just kind of fell apart on me."
"I didn’t fit in well with the firefighters, which sounds stupid but I think I really needed that brotherhood if I was going to survive in that field. The real problem, however, was my empathy. I knew quickly that I would not be able to see people on their worst days everyday. I could deal with broken bones and blood, but I hadn’t prepared myself for the screams."
"I work for a museum now lol."
– Livingroxets
The Young Widower
"I met quite a few paramedics whilst doing work in the vaccination centres last year. One of them had recently quit, and I asked why. She told me she had been on a call out with a young couple and a baby. The mum had a headache, and the baby was crying in bed so the dad went to soothe the baby whilst the mum laid down on the sofa. When the dad came back to the mum, she had passed away. I wasn't told what she died of but the girl telling the story was getting upset over it. She hated the idea of this child no longer having a mother, and the dad having lost his partner with absolutely no warning, and so young. So it wasn't even a gruesome one, just an upsetting one that made her give it up."
– Isgortio
The Guilt Complex
"My brother was an EMT because he wanted to help people. Started to blame himself for the people he couldn’t save, we almost lost him. Thank God he had some pretty stellar friends who went looking for him at 2am. EMTs are a different breed man, I don’t know how they do it."
– Lonely-Ninja
The Thing About Empathy
"The empathy thing is very interesting. My medical friends and family would always tell me I'd be great in the medical field because I'm so caring. That is precisely why I would be awful in the medical field. I hate seeing people suffering."
– Tim3-Rainbow
At first, these seemed desirable until they learned it was anything but.
Weightlessness
"I couldn't wait to 'pull g's' in an airplane. Then I did. It sucked."
– papafrog
"I cannot stress enough how fast pulling Gs gets old. The first couple turns are fun but then it’s like, 'I don’t feel good.' Fun times getting picked up from training sites by helicopter pilots on flight training and you’re just looking out the side of the Blackhawk at nothing but ground and you’re like are helicopters supposed to turn like this?"
– anon
Career As An Animator
"All my life I wanted to make cartoons."
"I fought with tooth and nail to reach the top."
"Then I interned for an old studio in Burbank specializing in cartoons about a certain yellow family."
"Then, after college, I became a mechanic and never looked back."
– DreyfusBlue
Formerly Aspiring Craftsman
"Blacksmithing. I watched a ton of blacksmithing content on youtube, got SUPER intrigued and wanted to build my own setup in the backyard. My Father talked me into trying a class before jumping in headfirst, and I am glad I did. My Father and I were the only two in the class that day so we got all the attention from the instructor which was awesome, he really helped us both perfect our techniques and corrected any mistakes quickly so we didn't form any bad habits, it was the best instructor I have ever had for anything, guy was an amazing teacher. He even offered to let us stay for a couple more hours to make another piece, which we took him up on. After all that, an amazing class, 3 metal pieces that I worked on and created by myself by hand, I walked away... dissatisfied. I think metal as a medium just felt very hard to work with, everything is super hot and dangerous, and I just didn't see myself wanting to ever do it again. I really recommend taking a class to try something out rather than spending time and money to build your own setup for something you may hate. I spent 75$ to save thousands."
– Roadronner
It Takes A Different Breed To Lead
"Being the boss of people. Boss is a title, but being an effective leader of people is an emotionally draining, often thankless roller coaster."
– DingbatDarrel
People who tried their hand at becoming lawyers found it to be extremely unpleasant.
Fighting For The Environment
"'I want to be an environmental lawyer when I grow up! I'm going to help save the world!' F'king kill me dude, I don't even have the energy to save myself anymore."
–Superseriouslyguys
"Interned at an environmental nonprofit over the summer while I was in law school."
"It was the worst parts of legal work and the worst parts of nonprofit work all mashed together."
"Edit: Ok this is getting a lot more eyeballs than I expected so I feel the need to clarify that it actually was not as bad as other non-legal nonprofits I'd later work at in terms of toxicity but it was intensely difficult work with very long hours and a lot of pressure - all of which made me realize I prob wasn't cut out for law much less environmental law."
– krylonultraflat
My Name Is Not Sharon
"I remember a girl in law school who had a similar experience, like they just had her getting coffee and cleaning out the office fridge all summer. Then at the end of the internship one of the directors of the program was like 'oh Sharon, you were our best intern this summer!' Susan. Her name was Susan."
– Superseriouslyguys
The Alternative
"Fellow lawyer here."
"Dip out and get yourself a cushy government job, easy 9-5 work hours, never take work home, plus you get a pension after it's all said and done."
"And then start living life outside of work. Focus on yourself."
– Pitiful-Reaction9534
Life is about taking chances.
You never know what you're capable of until you try different experiences.
And even if you don't succeed or found that whatever it is you tried wasn't for you, it's all a learning experience about how you deal in stressful or unfamiliar situations and overcome them.
The key is in finding your strengths, which you'll never find unless you put yourself out there and do the work. If it's not for you, something else will present itself.
At least that's what I'd like to think.
Everyone has a memory from their school days that always makes them laugh when it crosses their minds.
Be it someone passing gas at a very inopportune moment, an embarrassing wardrobe malfunction during a school play or sporting event, or, perhaps most of all, a spectacular prank.
Of course, while every single member of the student body likely finds these incidents and occurrences hilarious, the faculty and staff often find little to nothing funny about them.
Mainly because they often have to deal with the consequences and pandemonium caused by these dubiously hilarious events.
"What funny thing happened at school that caused utter chaos for the faculty?
Holy Sh*t
"2000"
"Teachers trying to stop kids smoking in the bathroom so they locked the bathroom doors."
"Kid took a sh*t on the carpet in front of the bathroom door, like right in the main hallway."
"Chaos ensued."
"Today, that kid is a pastor."
"Lol."- Jimmycapped
Cheaters Almost Always Get Caught
"It wasn't funny, but when I was in high school, there were two teachers in the school that were married."
"I was sitting in the husbands classroom waiting for the class to start when another kid ran in and said 'Hey Mr B, your wife is making out with Mr H in his classroom'."
"Turns out they'd locked the door, but about a dozen kids were looking through the skinny door window watching them."
"The guy didn't even say anything."
"He just looked crushed."
"He just walked out of the class and never came back...I mean we never saw him again."
"Turned out his wife and the other teacher had been having an affair and he'd might have suspected, but having it confirmed by one of his students in front of the whole class was too much."
"The school didn't discipline the two cheaters, but the students sure as hell did."
"Both of them had to listen to 'cheating' puns and jokes every day."
"'Hey Ms S, I'm going to copy off Joe's test, cheating is cool with you right?'" kind of stuff."
"Neither came back the next school year."- McFeely_Smackup
Cartoons Button GIF by NickelodeonGiphyWhere He Went, Music Followed...
"Hired a mariachi band to follow around our principal for our senior class prank."
"It was hysterical."- JulieFromJerz
Complicated Role Model...
"In middle school, a staff (not a teacher, he watched lunch and was a basketball coach for a high school) got arrested for selling weed to the kids."
"He won an award for 'best staff of the year' that year which had an entire yearbook page dedicated to him, but he was arrested after the yearbooks were printed."
"They had to go into each yearbook and cover that page with purple duct tape (to match the color scheme)."
"Prior to him being arrested, I was getting bullied horribly."
"None of the teachers or other staff could get the kids to stop, but once the staff who was arrested said 'leave Spencer alone'," the kids would immediately stop."
"I later realized he was threatening to take their weed away if they bullied me, and that's why he was the only one who could get them to stop."- Spencer2091
Funny Might Not Be The Best Word...
"Someone had a baby in the bathroom stall."
"I wish I was making this up."- JacobCStowe
baby GIFGiphyLegs Are Legs!
"They banned shorts because they were not professional enough."
"So all the boys wore skirts as a protest."- Haboobalub·
Or Did They Just Have A Time-Turner In Their Pocket?
"One of the classrooms at my school was a prefab hut, and over time it developed a hole in the floor at the back of the room (developed, or was helped, unsure)."
"Every lesson I had in there for a good few months before they fixed it, someone would arrive, greet the teacher, and sit down."
"Then after a few minutes they'd arrive again, straight-faced 'sorry I'm late sir', and sit down."
"Then again a few minutes later they'd arrive again... etc."
"The fun part was watching the teacher playing the memory game of figuring out who'd arrived too many times."- telnorp
Depends On How Short We're Talking...
"Freshman year one of my friends wanted to me run for student body vice president as a part of his counterculture party."
"He insisted on having me be his VP, to the point where he got all the necessary signatures for me to run without my knowledge and just went ahead and signed me up."
"We had to write speeches to get other kids to vote for us, and those speeches had to be approved beforehand by some faculty member."
"So I wrote a very disparaging speech about the validity and purpose of student council, laden with curse words and personal attacks towards our administration, thinking it would get screened ahead of time and they would disqualify me."
"I guess no one actually read my speech and just rubber stamped it, so on that morning they pulled me aside and handed me a printed out copy of my speech."
homer simpson drinking GIFGiphy"I went ahead and gave my speech and I guess none of the faculty knew what to do because no one stopped me but they were clearly panicked and furious."
"I got a lot of laughs and applause."
"I assume it was too late to print all new ballots because when we went to vote my name was crossed out with a sharpie."
"I also got suspended for 5 days despite my explanation that I did not want to run and submitted my speech for approval, on time, fully intending to be disqualified."
"I was also told by some older student council members involved in the ballot counting process that I won by a landslide due to write ins and people just circling the black line of my name, but I have no idea if that's true."- pieonthedonkey
Ladders Must Have Been In Short Supply...
"A student got ahold of a LOT of explicit pictures and taped them to all of the school clocks, suspended from the ceiling. None of the teachers were tall enough to pull them down, so they were up there for a bit."- Unlikely_Use
A Hard One To Erase From Memory (...Pun Intended...)
"My wife is a school teacher, and a couple years ago the senior prank was them sticking a bunch of those suction cupsex toys to the windows."
"And let's just say that the school has a lot of windows."
"It was the brain child of some douche bag architect who thought building a high school with no walls just windows was good idea."
"Any way, they managed to get the largest of the them stuck to the 3rd floor outside window, of one of the classrooms."
"So the male assistant principal gets a ladder, but its not quite long enough so he's teetering on the top of this ladder trying knock a 2-foot long purple d*ck of the side of the school with a broom handle."
"She said he was beating that thing as it owed him money, and it was just bouncing around, flopping and banging against the window."
"While everyone watched through tears of laughter."- Nutesatchel
What The Hell Comedy GIF by Paramount+GiphyDid ANYONE Find This Funny?
"Someone in my high school sent letters to everyone they deemed 'virgins' parents saying their son or daughter was tested for and found to have an STD by the school nurse and that they needed to come to the school immediately."
"Used the school letterhead etc so they got charged with mail fraud lol."- B__Malz
When In Doubt, Follow Moses...
"In my HS, there was a solid week where somebody set a trash can on fire daily."
"Nobody knew if it was one person or a group of people, but I think after day five everyone got pretty tired of having to stand out in the football field while the fire department inspected the area.
"It stopped after that week with no explanation and no word from the culprit."
"Second best was definitely the senior prank performed by the class two years ahead of mine."
"They bought crickets from our local PetSmart and set them free on our school’s main staircase."
"It took forever to get rid of them and I can remember sitting in class and hearing faint chirping coming from seemingly every direction."- Livingroxets
"A boy in my class brought some locusts in to show and tell."
"They escaped and got into the air vents."
"This was just before summer break."
"School came back to a full-on plague."- Big_Explanation_8803
Bugs Insects GIF by The GuardianGiphyNeedless to say, one has little doubt that any of the planned occurrences in these stories were ever meant to be found funny by the faculty or staff.
Even so, one also has little doubt that they've all looked back and laughed about some of these with the passage of time...
I embarrass myself in the search for love constantly.
Or in the need to try and impress.
I can't help it.
And I know I'm not alone.
Every time I come face to face with a crush or someone that intimidates me, all of my wit, wisdom, and self-respect flies out the window. Suddenly words are just sounds that make no sense. I also laugh at the most inappropriate moments.
Trying to impress someone should be easy.
Well, maybe not easy, it can be a challenge but it shouldn't land anyone in the ER.
When did trying to gain someone's attention become a sporting event?
Thank God for Xanax.
I have found a little calm goes a long way.
A deleted Redditor wanted everyone to share about the times we've been left red in the face, so they asked:
"What is the most embarrassing thing you've ever said to someone you were trying to impress?"
I once fell off of a treadmill trying to flirt with my high school crush.
I was running way too fast to show my "stamina."
I destroyed my Discman and my dignity.
Oh My
Licking Ice Cream GIF by MLB NetworkGiphy"Crush in High School worked at an ice cream store. When she asked for toppings I said 'I’ll have Reese’s penises please.' The store laughed."
WhaleyWino235
Tom Morello's Hometown
"I worked at the local guitar shop in town in high school. It happens to be Tom Morello's hometown (of rage against the machine fame). The owner used to babysit him when Tom was little and he'd always stop by to say hi when they were in town on tour. This was around the time of the evil empire and they were at peak popularity."
"He came in one day while I was there and asked if John was in. 16-year-old me just looked at him and asked 'Do you know who you are?!?!' He just laughed and said yes. Humiliated I went and got the owner and then tried to hide and die from shame."
matthewmichael
Echoes
"I was around 15, going through the receiving line at my cousin's wedding. This was my first 'grown-up' wedding and I wanted to act it. As I hugged my cousin I blurted out 'I'm so excited to be here! The last wedding I was at was your first one!'"
"That has echoed in my head for 30 years."
"E: This was my cousin's second wedding. The groom's first."
LGBecca
No Tip
"A server trying to get a tip: I went to clear a shared dessert dish from a table of 4 - mom, dad, and 2 sons. One son jokingly pointed at his mom and said 'She ate most of it.' I, the braindead server who was/is terrible at banter, but trying to get a tip said the first reply that came to mind: 'I can tell.' No idea why. Terrible reaction, as expected. No tip."
1nd1anaCroft
Snap
Buffering Back To School GIF by Rodney DangerfieldGiphy"I can do a Kickflip, then proceed to elegantly snap my ankle."
Mrlightyboy
Why do we risk our lives?
Have we really lost the ability for a simple flirt?
Where?
The Beautiful Game Thumbs Up GIF by World CupGiphy"I did once (truthfully) tell a girl from Austria that I didn't know what the capital of Austria was - which wouldn't be too embarrassing, except that I was wearing a t-shirt which said 'Vienna Rocks' on it at the time. She thought I was joking."
Ok-Fudge8848
The Red Lights
"I told everyone I knew about my plan to go on a trip to Europe. I had planned to tour different countries by train with a special visit to… Amsterdam. My intention was to visit a marijuana cafe, but in my ignorance, I thought that these were all located in the red lights district. I would tell people I was going to the red light district and they would understandably pause and ask me… why?"
"Trying to be sly I would say something like 'to do what the locals do of course,' believing that this meant smoking marijuana in a cafe… I was actually telling everyone I knew, friends, teachers, relatives, coworkers, that I was going to cross the Atlantic so I could hire a sex worker."
Virtual-Elderberry31
How Far You'll Go
"Was on an airplane years ago with my girlfriend and her parents. My girlfriend couldn't get a seat next to me and sat directly behind me. During the flight, I thought I would surprise her and reached my hand back onto her knee. Slowly I kept extending it up her thigh until I heard giggling."
"Looked behind through the seats and saw that my hand was on the leg of the guy next to her. He saw my face and said, 'I just wanted to see how far you'd go.' Of course, my girlfriend was in on it and started laughing along with the rest of the row. Was so embarrassed."
Ladon1949
Not Cool
"I was skating at a school and my girlfriend calls me and says she wants to hang out. Tell her I'm skating but she can meet me at the school and we can figure out what we're doing from there. She shows up looking cute AF, so clearly I need to impress her. There was a little two stair where she was waiting for me and I went to do a BS 180 down it. Instead of just landing normally, I thought I would look more bada** if I stomped the landing."
"As I landed my lead foot came off the board and I landed with all of my weight on that ankle... Immediate excruciating pain ensued and I'm on the ground rolling in pain. My sad attempt to look cool skating had turned into one of the worst injuries I received and an extremely embarrassing moment. The pain was so bad I could barely drive my car back home because I severely injured my right ankle."
"Didn't break my ankle but I did have a severe ankle sprain. I've had surgery on it and it's much better, but it just has never been quite the same. As far as the girlfriend goes, we're still together and have been married for 10 years."
DJAXL
Listen Again
Go Away Beyonce GIFGiphy"I told a musician I like that I liked a specific song. It was not his song."
Naca-7
We are so silly.
Why can't we just say 'Hey' and get on with it?
Such drama.
We've all had to learn something the hard way or at a super inconvenient time.
But because we're always learning new things, of course there will have to be some things that we learn later, rather than sooner, no matter the consequences of learning it too late.
Redditor IndianaC0NES asked:
"What's an important lesson you learned the hard way?"
Money Management
"Do not spend like there’s no tomorrow. Tomorrow will come and it won’t be pretty."
- cpu5555
Permanent Partner
"Never have kids with someone you don’t want in your life forever."
- pntszrn74
Make It Official First
"Money doesn’t exist until the deposit hits your bank account, and business promises mean nothing until legal documents are signed."
- FriscoFrank98
Know Your Limits
"Learn when to stop drinking and call it a night."
- Gadrilor
Trust Your Gut
"If something feels wrong, it likely is."
- drzed47
"This is closely related to, 'If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.'"
- remag_nation
The Importance of Dental Health
"Dental care is expensive!! Never be lazy with oral hygiene."
- the_rice_life
"And dental problems are EXTREMELY PAINFUL."
- Next-Confection3261
Be Careful Who You Share It With
"Not everyone has the same heart as you do."
- Accomplished_Hat2770
Be Wary of Bullies
"Not everyone is a good person. Some people actually want to see you fail. Stop oversharing. These nasty people will use it against you."
- Ko_ogs72
"My brain still can't comprehend someone being a d**k for no reason."
- Arny520
Recognize the Red Flags
"Don't let love blind your eyes, red flags are real."
- Fxk07
"And: No one is worth sacrificing your self-respect for."
- Waltzing_Methusalah
"It sucks when you’re halfway to learning this lesson before you even realize it. It’s so important to know your boundaries and respect yourself with the diligence required to walk away from people creating toxic patterns in your life, even or ESPECIALLY before you have the full picture to work with."
"We all know it’s heading south long before these things have terrible consequences on oneself/life. At a certain point, it’s too late to escape unscathed. Self-respect and what amounts to the ‘sunken-cost dilemma’ NEVER go together in relationships."
- brashbabu
The Likelihood of Success
"It's possible to make no wrong moves and still lose."
- Tropicsenshi
Family Ties
"Your family doesn't always have your best interest at heart."
- OhMyGodBearIsDriving
"Sometimes, family are just a bunch of bad people who are biologically related to you."
- noorofmyeye24
Wear the Helmet
"WEAR A HELMET."
"It's an easy safety precaution you can take when rollerblading, biking, skateboarding, scootering, etc. And it can literally save your life."
"I went all through the 90s thinking helmets were lame... I Fell while rollerblading in my 30s and got a subdural hematoma. I wasn't going fast but the momentum from how I fell just slammed my head into the concrete."
"HELMETS SAVE LIVES."
- Shortiie5115
Proper Eye and Ear Care
"Here is my PSA about eye protection. You only have two eyes and many injuries are not repairable. I have a completely s**t vision in one eye because of an injury and I'm constantly paranoid about something happening to the good eye. Wear safety glasses folk, it's important."
- ipsok
"And ear protection. You do not want Tinnitus."
- farmerofstrawberries
Love Your Loved Ones
"Always take a chance to tell someone you love them. To give them a hug."
"Never end a conversation with a harsh word."
"Both for the same reason. You never know if you will get to see that person alive again."
"I learned both those lessons from each of my parents."
- Edgezg
Self Advocate
"Stand up for yourself. If you get in the habit of letting people walk all over you, it'll be extremely difficult to reverse. Even if you're not confident, just fake it till you make it!"
- MISTERDIEABETIC
As humans, we will never stop learning and taking in new information, but there are, of course, some things that we wish we could have learned sooner or through an easier path.
But at least now that we've learned these lessons, we can share them with others, so they might not have to take the same path we did.