Lucky People Who Have Gone From Friends With Benefits To Dating Share How They Made The Jump
Lucky People Who Have Gone From Friends With Benefits To Dating Share How They Made The Jump
[rebelmouse-image 18352344 is_animated_gif=We've all hooked up with a friend here and there, but sometimes, the hookup goes far beyond the one time. It doesn't always end well, but the stories behind how friends earned their benefits are always a hoot. And sometimes they're hot.
PM_Me_Ur_Boobs_Honey asked, People who have friends with benefits, how did you go from friends to friends who have sex?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
This is one of the oldest tricks in the book.
[rebelmouse-image 18352345 is_animated_gif=Started as friends, ended up becoming roommates, both of us had been out of relationships for a while so sexual tension got high with us living together, slept together a few times and then she got a boyfriend so we ended things. We're still great friends, didn't ruin anything between us, it was just casual sex between consenting adults.
Screw it, why not?
[rebelmouse-image 18352346 is_animated_gif=We were at her place talking about Halloween. A very paraphrased version of the conversation:
Her: it's just an excuse for people to dress slutty and have sex
Me: sex is good
And then we had sex
Then there's the more direct approach.
[rebelmouse-image 18352347 is_animated_gif=I had been friends with D for years. I was dating her best friend K during that time. After K and I broke up, I stayed friends with D. We hung out a lot and one night she said 'we should still be just friends, but friends who have sex sometimes.' It was great and lasted for years off and on. We are still friends, but she's married now
Awkward.
[rebelmouse-image 18345572 is_animated_gif=One of my brothers screwed many girls while he was in high school and beyond. Eventually got married, and it just so happens that two of his best friends from college ended up marrying girls from his high school that he slept with. One time he told me that it makes him very anxious every time they're all out to eat.
Netflix and chill but with a little more class...
[rebelmouse-image 18352348 is_animated_gif=I was random friends with C. We had met through a mutual connection. One night after we had been texting for weeks and being friendly I jokingly told her I could show her how to make Carbonara...... I brought two bottles of wine, we cooked together... watched some stand up comedy and then ended up having sex. We were on and off since then and it was great~ we both date other people and occasionally hook up.
Ah the old "it's ok I'm here" ploy. "Brad" is a slick one.
[rebelmouse-image 18352349 is_animated_gif=Currently still have a FWB of 3ish years. "Brad", was the brother of my best friend "Kate" through high school and college, so we knew each other very well. I had just gotten out of a very bad relationship and was still in the "I'm going to cry and eat ice cream" phase when Kate invited me to a house party.
I ended up hooking up with Brad after the party. It was awkward for a little while after but then we started hanging out again and realized we could be friends who just happened to mess around if we were both single. It's been a fun arrangement.
How come I never get emails like this from real people?
[rebelmouse-image 18352350 is_animated_gif=Oh, let me quote the email I got out of the blue one day.
"If it wasn't apparent, I'm very attracted to you, and I think we could have really hot sex. I don't know if you're interested in adding the benefits package to the standard issue friends arrangement, but if so, we should talk about it!"
We talked about it. Then we started having sex. :D
Back-up/emergency d_ck is rarely disappointing.
[rebelmouse-image 18352352 is_animated_gif=We weren't really close, more like we had a mutual friend and added each other as a result. I'd known for years he'd wanted to sleep with me me, (he was very upfront about it, but respected my boundaries) but I didn't do anything about it. Few years later, I'm out of a relationship but I miss sex. He's randomly in town. I send him a message, we meet up the next day. F_cked off an on for a couple of years. Only regret is not getting it sooner.
Telling men they smell good is a great tactic.
[rebelmouse-image 18352353 is_animated_gif=I told him he smelt sexy (a mix of aftershave, whiskey, and cigarettes) and then he kissed me. Then we had sex and have been having it on and off ever since. No romantic interest in him whatsoever.
I always had a different image of sword-fighting...
[rebelmouse-image 18352354 is_animated_gif=I invited him to my room to play with the samurai swords he'd given me. Then pretty much just asked if he wanted to stay the night. He told me later that he'd just expected to make out, instead it turned full-blown Caligula.
We had crazy animal sex for almost a year. It ended because neither of us knew how to just keep it at sex-friends (dates, presents, spending the holidays together, etc) but he also didn't want to be in a relationship. So that was fun.
Practice makes perfect...
[rebelmouse-image 18352355 is_animated_gif=I had a friend a couple years back. We were both in college and kept in touch despite being a state apart we talked weekly. Well over spring break while we were both home he mentioned he recently lost his virginity and was told he was bad at it. I jokingly said well then we should practice to make you better. After talking about it and said we would just be friends with benefits. We "practiced" all summer and come fall when he went back to school that was the end of it. We don't talk about it anymore but I will say his girlfriend thinks he's great in bed and I'd like to think that was because of me;).
There really is something to this direct approach.
[rebelmouse-image 18352356 is_animated_gif=We were friends for about 5 years at the time and she was somewhat freshly out of a relationship of 6 years. We were just hanging out and talking about random stuff and she brought up thinking about using her time being single for the first time in her adult life (she was 25) as a reason to experiment a bit.
I gave her a sideways look for a bit and it went like this:
Me: I uh... wait... do you mean...
Her: Yes, pickalock, use your words.
Me: Oh, uh... no... I just thought you were trying to say something.
Her: What did you think I was saying?
Me: Oh, I thought you might've been hitting on me for a second.
Her: I was.
Me: Oh.
Turns out she's had a crush on me for.. well, 5 years. And cut me some slack. I'm 26 and while I've dated a couple of women, I've never actually had somebody outright tell me they had a crush on me before. Or even hit on me. It was a game changer.
We're back to just friends now (somewhat sadly). But much better friends, honestly. We both got to experiment and had a great time doing it.
If I had a dollar...
[rebelmouse-image 18352357 is_animated_gif=We literally hooked up at a party, had sex within an hour of meeting each other, and that's how we became friends.
Gonna need another dollar. Be careful with this tidbit though.
[rebelmouse-image 18352358 is_animated_gif=Get a boner, don't hide it, works every time.
Basically.
[rebelmouse-image 18352360 is_animated_gif=Step one: be hot
This concludes how to get friends with benefits
Some people are really spoiled.
[rebelmouse-image 18352361 is_animated_gif=We dated for about 3 months but it fizzled out after he went on holiday and then I went on holiday as he returned, and we never picked it back up. Occasionally when we were drunk after that we would hook up and it was all okay. So sober I thought "why not?" and he was into it. We were FWB for like a year and a half until he got a girlfriend, now they've split up and we're having sex again. We've never had any feelings confusion (so far) in the two and a half years we've been friends (with on and off benefits).
The long goodbye is cute.
[rebelmouse-image 18352362 is_animated_gif=I liked a girl, we both knew I was moving relatively soon, and I made a move. We had some good times and we liked each other, but it wasn't fair to either of us to start something real knowing I wouldn't be around in a few months. But we had a fun few months.
And here's the lesson from this thread.
[rebelmouse-image 18352363 is_animated_gif=Just ask.
I have had sex with more of my friends than not. Individually, threesomes, foursomes with mates wives and my partner.
It's more people are afraid to ask or think it's wrong. Honestly, people just like to f***.
People Break Down The Absolute Worst Parts About Having A Child
While starting a family and having children is a goal that many people have, some do not realize that it's not easy, fun, and loving one-hundred percent of the time. Rather, it's expensive, exhausting, and hard, though it might be worth it in the end.
With this in mind, people shared what they felt were the hardest hurdles of their parenting.
Redditor ApprehensiveShock655 asked:
"What's the worst part of having a child?"
Fear of Not Doing Enough
"The constant anxiety that you’re doing enough to shape them to make good choices, a good life, be a good person and for them to have the life they deserve."
- nakedreturnsthe1st
Like the Energizer Bunny
"It's incessant. It never stops. You never get a day off."
"Going from having two days per week to relax and do whatever to literally never having a moment free from responsibility."
- mrbuh
No Break In Sight
"I’ve always wanted kids and still do, but this is the only thing that has come close to giving me pause."
"Both my siblings have young kids and I cannot get over how CONSTANT it is."
"From the second the kids wake up to when they finally shut their eyes, it’s non-stop. Then they get maybe an hour or two to themselves, which is mostly spent tidying up, etc., before the nighttime stuff starts with the baby crying, the toddler coming into bed, nightmares, etc."
"It requires years of not getting a full night's rest. You can never just go out whenever you want. No sleeping in, even on weekends because someone has to be up with them at 6 AM."
"Raising human children is an insane task."
- GirlisNo1
Mom's Body After Baby and Dad Bods
"The weight gain is the worst! During the pregnancy, I gained 35 pounds. My belly has stretch marks. My boobs are all saggy."
"And it’s not even fair because my wife only gained like 15."
- Wise-Reaction-7526
The Meal Planning
"Coming up with three meals to eat per day EVERY DAY stresses me out so bad."
"This sounds like such a small thing, but it really wears on you over time. You can’t just make something for yourself or something you and your spouse feel like eating: You have to constantly be thinking about if the kid is hungry and what they might be willing to eat."
- Ravenclaw79
Keeping Them Safe
"When people ask me this I say, 'do you know those video games where you have to escort a character to a destination without them being attacked?' That's parenting. Those missions are a pain in the a**."
- Infiniski_Gaming
Seriously, Keep Them Safe
"Having to deal with their total lack of self-preservation. They are creative and come up with all kinds of ways to try and kill themselves. Keeping ahead of the game is exhausting."
- Quizzical_Chimp
Constant Contact
"They’re just always there. On you, behind you, in front of you, just a little speed bump impeding every task."
- Tangboy500000
Letting Them Live Their Life Their Way
"Having a kid is like having a little piece of your heart running around in the world. When they're sick or get disappointed or just feel sad, it's worse than having it happen to you."
"Yet at the same time, you need to let your kids work through those things to learn to handle them. If you give into the worry and try to shield them from everything, you risk creating harmful co-dependence."
"So it's a constant struggle. But worth it!"
- um_chili
What Is "Sleep" Again?
"I'm only nine years in, but so far, it's been the sleep deprivation. Hands down."
- tessiegamgee
And What Are These "Sick Days" You Speak Of?
"Having to take care of a sick child when you are also sick. For me that has been the most challenging part so far."
- MrsLouisaMercury
Another Full-Time Job
"It's like taking a second job that lasts 18+ years with a 24/7 schedule with no holidays or sick days."
"…And no second paycheck. It's actually like YOU are paying your second salary instead of getting one."
- mouse_rat
Personal Freedom
"The loss of freedom. I can't just... go somewhere. Even with older kids, there's so much planning and thinking and getting ready."
"I miss being able to just decide to go somewhere, and go there."
- poetris
The Time Flies
"The best advice I got was from an ancient hospital security guard in an elevator. 'The days are long, the years are short, cherish them while you can.'"
- WayOfTheHouseHusband
So Unexpected
"The phrase I hate is, 'You don't know it, but one day you pick your kid up for the last time.'"
- 3_pac
There are all kinds of troubles that come from being a parent, many of which people don't necessarily think about until they already have a baby in the house.
But reassuringly, many people in the subReddit pointed out that no matter how hard some of these hurdles are to get over, it's still worth it in the end, and it goes by far too fast.
Married People Explain How They Tactfully Initiate Sex With Their Partner
Positive emotions are high among people in the blossoming phase of relationships.
Everything seems more romanticized for people in love due to the amorous joy in their hearts–which also influences their desire to frequently get it on under the sheets–or any other daring location in the heat of the moment.
But for those who've declared "'til death do us part," devoted couples may find that they are not always on the same wavelength sexually compared to when they first met.
Curious to hear how people keep their passion alive, Redditor Rude_Phone6841 asked:
"Married people, how do you initiate sex with your partner?"
When verbally articulating isn't enough...
Let The Book Dictate When
"There is a book called 'How to Subtly Tell Your Partner You Want More Sex.' If you sleep on the right side of the bed, you can casually open it up and your spouse will see the giant printed title on the front. Sometimes, I’ll just get the book out and leave it on his side of the bed. Once he was messing with me and acting like he was oblivious to my not-so-subtle hints, so I threw the book at him. The book is effective and hilarious."
"ETA: Sadly, we haven’t found the book since we moved. Fortunately, we’ve started communicating with our words instead. Words are just as effective."
– Flaky_Finding_3902
Save The Date
"I send her an outlook calendar event and if she accepts, IT'S ON."
– Dawn_Piano
The Signal
"You know when I’m down to my socks it’s time for business."
– SEA___BEAR
These couples find that verbal cues are best.
Now's The Time
"Honestly when we have the time one of us usually bluntly says 'let's go have sex right f'king now before we can't' and we go do it. Lol"
– brie1305
Option A Or B
"I have a 2 month old and a 2 year old. Some of the best sex we had was because I said 'after 2 year old goes down and if 2month decides to sleep do you want to meet in the basement' well she decided to sleep and damn that was good."
– Ahkmedjubar
End Of Day Reward
"We just ask each other tbh. We’ll bring it up earlier in the day so we build up the anticipation with each other throughout the day, flirt with each other, gas each other up. All that. Then when it’s finally time at the end of the day, we usually fall asleep cause we’re so tired."
"But the cycle continues the next day!"
– supermariobruhh
People continued offering their wisdom.
Afternoon Hanky Panky
"The trick is to initiate sex during the day. We are both too tired at the end. Plus hanging out all day after is somehow more rewarding."
"Same goes for dates. Have sex at the beginning the date, then go enjoy your time together without any pressure."
– drneeley
Kids In The Equation
"This literally happened today with my wife and me. We have two toddlers so we’re extra exhausted. Earlier today we had the sexy initiation of 'hey, we both showered today, want to have sex after the babies are asleep?' 'Sure.'"
"Then when the kids were asleep, and my wife and I were getting settled into bed, she asked if I still wanted to. I said if she wants to I’m down, but I’m pretty tired and would be fine without it. She said she was also tired and could do without it. So we kissed each other good night and she went to sleep. I’m just winding down on Reddit for a few minutes before I also fall asleep."
"I know this is boring. I didn’t write this to tell an exciting story. Just to share what married life is like for me and probably the large majority of married couples, especially parents of young kids."
– MolotovCollective
Shadow Puppet Technique
"Use my phones torch to shine a shadow of my member up against the bedroom wall."
"Kinda like a bat signal of sorts."
– SchoonerOclock
Mood Lighting
"Turn off the lights and switch on the red lamp beside the bed."
– SuvenPan
Reliable Visual
"Walk by him while taking my top off. He follows me wherever I go and it's been 30 years and counting."
– LisaBooHigh
Every couple is different, and usually establishing a strong communication bond makes everything else in the relationship–including sexy time–falls in line effortlessly.
I knew a couple who made a game out of foreplay and agreed that whoever got home first from getting off work at the same time got to choose the sexual position that night.
They may no longer be together, but I remember them recalling how that technique was fun for them at the beginning stage and it took the pressure off of establishing when they were going to have sex.
Don't take get too anxious about it. It's just sex, and it's fun.
There are a number of things people partake in spite of the known possible ramifications they have on their health and safety.
Up to and including smoking, bungee-jumping, recreational drug use, or simply bike riding without a helmet.
Indeed, even though they know that doing any or all of these things could possibly lead to their death, they do it anyway.
Sadly, even though many people go out of their way to avoid doing these things for that very reason, that still doesn't mean they keep themselves completely out of danger.
Sadly, there are a surprisingly large number of things that lead to an even more surprising number of deaths each year.
Frighteningly, these are things that the majority of the world's population does on an almost daily basis.
"What causes death more than people realize?"
When In Doubt, Call Your Doctor!
"Untreated infections."
"Your body will become septic, in which it essentially kills itself trying to kill off whatever infection one has."- cacarrizales
"Infections that are left untreated."- raptor-99
Tread Carefully. Seriously.
"Tripping."
"On average around 17k people a year in the US die from injuries incurred after tripping and falling."- EdithWhartonsFarts
When In Doubt, Don't Drive.
"Driving while sleepy."- latchkey_adult
The Handrail Is There For A Reason.
"Stairs."
"20 million severe injuries each year and at least 200,000 death from consequences of the fall."
"Both my grandparents died because of a fall."- OnTheGoodSideofLife
They Happen To The Best Of Us
"Fall accidents."
"Especially among the elderly, a fall can create a cascade of events that results in death, even if it seems minor at first."-AdmiralBofa
Never Rush Chewing
"Mozzarella sticks."
"Statistically the most choked on food."- SpecSanders
Never Skip A Check-Up
"High Blood Pressure."
"It sneaks up on you and you don't know about it or don't care but it's the underlying cause of so many deaths."- Fear51
Never Underestimate The Importance Of Self Care
"Stress."
"Your body can only handle so much of it and it’s labeled the 'silent killer' for that reason."
"With your high blood pressure and the 5 hours of sleep a night because of the stress, It will creep up on you sooner than you think."- DroppedDonut
Don't Forget To Floss!
"Untreated dental problems."
"A cavity left untreated can lead to heart attacks and strokes."- Lastalmark
Flu Season
"Influenza."
"Just regular old flu."
"Many people ignore it thinking it'll go away on its own."
"Globally the number per year is usually between 300k and 500k."
"In the US it can be anywhere from 12k to 50k per year."- PhreedomPhighter
Don't Feel Ashamed If You Need A Break
"Shoveling snow."
"I have two family friends pass from heart attacks associated to shoveling the snow."- JD054
There Are People Who Will Help You
"Alcoholism causing liver failure and it's on the rise in the USA."- Interesting_Drop8236
"Peruse your County ME’s records."
"The amount of people who die from alcohol is astounding."- hockenduke
Sometimes, It's Just Best To Mind Your Own Business
"Street fights."
"You watch some Hollywood blockbusters and some MMA fights and you think you can do it too."
"I've seen stories of a guy minding his own business and gets rocked on the side of his head. It disconnected his spine and he was dead before he hit the ground."
"There was another story maybe a year ago of a scuffle where a guy was stabbed in the neck and bled out to the point of being unable to stand within 10 seconds."
"Stop f*cking around, it's not worth your life."- Choiceofart
We never know when our number is up or how we'll end our days.
However, with a little bit of care and good judgment, we can at least likely avoid falling victim to all of the above.
When Americans visit a foreign country, they tend to notice immediate cultural differences from the minute they step off the plane.
Unique bathroom designs, how you might have to be more specific when ordering coffee in Australia, how many businesses in Spain tend to shut down for a few hours to take a siesta.
Needless to say, this goes both ways, as when people from all over the world visit the United States, they tend to be surprised and amazed by a number of things.
Ranging from the amusing, such as portion sizes and ineffective tea brewing (at least for the Brits) to the truly baffling (HEALTHCARE).
"Non-American people, what’s a thing that you don’t understand about America?"
You Mean, People DON'T File Their Own Taxes Elsewhere?!?!
"Does every worker have to file their own taxes or am I just confused?"- ThePencil67
"Why they make you calculate your own taxes, if they know what you owe."- redder2023
Flagrant Commercialism...
"So, why do you buy politicians' merchandise? "
"Shirts, caps, banners, stickers, etc."
"They're public servants, not rockstars."
"Also, usually the more boring they are, the better."- akashyy
Conor Mckenna Influencer GIF by FoilArmsandHogGiphyWork/Life Balance
"Scottish person here but the work/always available for work culture."
"Minimal vacation time, minimal maternity/paternity leave and the fact you can pretty much just be let go."
"It makes me sad to think about it!"
"But I do love that you guys cram so much into your time off - you guys love a road trip!"- Frosty_Dragonfly_682
Definitely Something To Consider...
"What is up with Homeowner Associations?"
"Why would you pay to let a nosy neighbor dictate what you can and can not do on your own property?"
"I understand living in an apartment block and paying maintenance fees etc, but in a suburban home?"- Skoodledoo
There Are Some Good Observations
"The amount of National Parks!"
"My dream came true in 2017 to make an RV trip southwest off USA."
"Yosemite blew my mind away."- Independent-Ad9787
national parks GIF by Visit The USAGiphyHAHAHA
"How you can say the word 'mirror' without the use of any vowels."
"Mrrrrrr."- Otto1968
I Ordered A Small!
"Why everything is just SO damn supersized."
"My first time in America I went to get ice coffee from Dunkin Donuts, I ordered a large and my friend is like, 'are you sure you want large'?"
"Yeah no biggie, in the UK a large is not overwhelming I feel so I was expecting the same kinda thing."
"Oh my god it was like a god damn bucket of coffee."
"I think maybe a small would have been equivalent to a UK large, lesson swiftly learnt."
Some People Are Lucky To Just Have One Roommate...
"How you have to share a room with some complete rando when you go to college."- ChoppingOnionsForYou
Roommates Move In GIF by James Madison UniversityGiphySome People Just Can't Stop Talking
"The culture of just talking to people, strangers you don't know and just up and start a conversation with them or join a conversation."
"I'm British, and we go through great lengths to not talk to people, let alone open up and pour our hearts out to a random person."- MrGlayden
In Other Words: Severs Deserve to Be Paid More!
"The tipping culture is so foreign to me, I would be so scared to make a mistake or not tipping enough if I ever go to America because it's not something which is common here in Denmark."- Cupsuu
The Commercials, Maybe?
"I’m American but I’ve worked with a lot of people who aren’t."
"The one thing they always wonder is why Americans are so obsessed with the NFL."
"They think it’s a boring sport."
"They explained 'you wait for 30 seconds, they hike the ball, you get about 5-10 seconds of action, then you wait another 30 seconds, another 5-10 seconds of action, then commercial break'."- yougotthesilver12
Kansas City Chiefs Football GIF by Fighting Illini AthleticsGiphySchool Is No Place To Have Fun!
"My mom is from Moscow during the Soviet Era, and she is confused why there is no teacher-student hierarchy."
'She thinks it's weird when teachers participate in school plays or speak to students informally."
"She also DOES NOT GET pajama day."
"To her, it's just the weirdest thing in the world."
"In Russia, there is an important distinction between 'clothes for home' and 'clothes for outside'."
"They have a concept of 'home clothes', like your cozy or ugly clothes, that you are supposed to change into after school or work."
"At bedtime, you change out of your 'home clothes' into pajamas."
"As a result, pajamas, for both adults and children, are considered extra-extra private in Russia."
"My mom perceives pajama day as something extreme like wearing only undergarments to school."
"That's how private pajamas are considered to be in Russia!"- racheltolmach2022
A Debate Which Will Likely Never End
"MM/DD/YYYY"- SuvenPan
animation domination calendar GIF by gifnewsGiphyLiving in America comes with a number of advantages and a number of detriments.
Speaking personally though, had I known I wouldn't have to file my own taxes in Australia, I would have expatriated long ago...