Our parents can really be difficult sometimes. But sometimes they cross the line from difficult into "bad person."
Now we have to understand our parents are human, and they're flawed, blah blah blah. But there are times that they really only put themselves first, and those times can really be damaging to our psyches as children.
It's okay to have weird feelings about your parents. They have to earn your respect, just like any other human on earth.
Here were some of the answers.
When my father came home from a tour in Korea he brought with him a new wife. We had never met her nor heard of her until he said he was coming home. We all moved together to his next posting. Three months later, wifeypoo gave him an ultimatum. "Either the kids go or I go." He called up our mother (I have a sibling) and told her he was sending us to her. He then called us to the phone to "talk to your mom". I had no memory of her. In fact a prior step parent told us she was dead. I believed her. So he sent us to meet this stranger with the intention of giving custody to her under the guise of vacation without him. Our belongings followed. He gave us back to woman he divorced and believed was a danger to us just 11 years prior.
I lost s little respect for him for placing his new wife (she left him once she got a green card) over his children.
Parents Can Be Toxic Too
-compared me to friends constantly but would also use my grades or achievements as a way to compete with my aunt
-fakes illnesses when she wants attention or to guilt my siblings and I. She's lied about having cancer, strokes, etc. When we figured out she was lying and stopped going to the hospitals, she calls family members and cries that we won't help her/how she's basically terminal/how we don't Care
-has basically scammed my sisters, elderly grandma and I out of thousands and thousands of dollars. Just found out about 6 months ago, that she had gotten a pretty sizeable settlement from when I got hit by a car 20 years ago. She denied it and when i showed her proof, she threw my late father under the bus (he was a recovering addict) and claimed he was in charge of all that
-she was a nurse and when I attempted suicide, she didn't want to get me professional help because it would look bad on her and my problems "aren't everybody's business"... so she just medicated the shit out of me for a bit.
Believe it or not, there's more
Sounds Like A Trump Voter
My mom believes that if you just believe hard enough, you always get what you want.
I challenged her as to why we haven't won the lottery. She said because she let past experiences influence her thinking as well as evidence. She then said, "I try not to let evidence influence my beliefs. I know I'm not supposed to..."
Yeah. An anti-evidence stance. :/
When I was a teenager, my mom used to come in my room in the mornings when she thought I was asleep and steal cash from me.
Lots of other things happened after that, but that was the start of it.
Edit: To be fair, they had no money. But I started working at 14 to pay for everything for myself because they couldn't/wouldn't help me out with my expenses. Last thing I needed was my mom taking a few bucks from me every morning. I started keeping tabs eventually and she took a few hundred dollars, a couple dollars at a time.
Mental. Health. Is. Real. (TW: Suicide)
About two years ago, I struggled heavily from depression. My mom is one of those people who doesn't really understand the depth of mental illnesses, and on top of it, she was verbally abusive and always made cutting remarks about my academics, appearance, anything to degrade my self worth.
She broke me down to a point where I said I didn't want to live anymore and wanted to kill myself. She told me to do it. I ended up in foster care for about a week because my friends called because they knew I wasn't safe with her, and she is a manipulator and finessed the system to get me back quickly, and made it sound like she did nothing wrong. I finally got therapy, but it wasn't family, just me since she felt she did nothing wrong. She is treating me better and learning to respect my boundaries, but I will never forget my own mother scoffing, telling me to kill myself. I will never be able to respect her after that.
My parents are divorced. Mom had to move in with my dad for a bit because she didn't have a place to stay. She wouldn't clean up after herself or her daughter (my half sister) and she took over my brothers room and would just stay locked away in there doing seemingly nothing to change her situation.
When my dad confronted her calmly about her rudeness telling her that she needs to be courteous and clean up after herself she screamed at him and cursed him out saying things like "I don't have time to be courteous" and "You're not my parent". I've never been so angry at another person, and although it was a stressful time for everyone she had no right to be so ungrateful. I didn't have a whole lot of respect for my mom at this point in the first place, but that definitely made me lose any that I still had.
The Neglected One
They put my sisters through their undergraduate degrees, but have not provided me with any finances.
I am not trying to sound like a spoiled brat, but it sucks that I am expected to be at the same place they were at when they were 24 - yet I am in student debt, not done my degree & have to pay everything on my own.
When I found out that, despite my parents ostracising me for having The Gay, which is Sinning and means I'm Going Straight To Hell, it turns out my mum has had three affairs that we know about. But that's okay, because it's hetero cheating, which apparently is just fine.
Just A Dang List, MomGiphy
Oh... so many things.
Mom says she doesn't have favorites but there are obviously favorites.
I could be the first US woman president and still be a disappointment because I don't want/have kids
Dad telling me I may as well hurt myself when I went on Prozac as a teenager
Mom and dad bought my twin sister a fully refinished 67 mustang on our 16th birthday. I got a 95 Corolla that would regularly turn off randomly
During the early 2010s my parents needed money. We loaned them 10k. Never got it back. The following year they gave my sister 5k to help pay for her wedding because "she's always dreamed of being a bride".
Mom hates dad. Refuses to recognize they should have split up a long time ago. To make sure they don't have to actually come to terms with their marriage, they continue to let two of my sisters, their husbands, and kids live in their house. When one of those sisters decided to get a divorce (hm, wonder why... perhaps living in a house with 6 other adults doesn't work well for a healthy marriage?), they stopped talking to that sister. Which is hard because... you know... they all still live together.
I could go on. Let's summarize with they pretend their lives and their family is pure gold and instead we're just as fucked up as everyone else.
What made you lose respect for your parents?
Coulda Died, MomGiphy
Right after I graduated high school, I got my first car and was on my mom's car insurance policy. After a year I had been a very good driver and I wanted to call my insurance company to see if I could lower my rates. Turned out my mom kept the policy active for 1 month so I had an insurance card to put in my glovebox, but then cancelled the policy and pocketed the money for herself.
As much as the monetary aspect hurts, it's crazy to think that my own mom would let me drive my car having me believe I was covered. I could have destroyed my life if I made some horrific mistake.